Welcome Back
			by Colin "plucky" Feder

Editors Note: I started this story in August hoping to have it ready
by the time school started in September, but things like work and
band and laziness got in the way of its progress. It's been ready for a
few weeks but I have spent much time putting the finishing touches
on the story. You should all feel lucky because I usually start stories,
but never finish them. Well, I think I've rambled on long
enough...On with the story. Send all comments to me at
HEWU64D@Prodigy.com or TacoShell@aol.com

	It's a beautiful September morning in Acme Acres, the birds
are chirping and the Toonsters are being unexpectedly woken up by
alarm clocks and parents...


Mrs. Bunny:  "Come on, Babs hon, time to go to school..." 
Babs:  "Are you joking, Mom? It just can't be September yet. Just
yesterday was the first of August."
Mrs. Bunny: "Now Barbara Anne, don't argue with your mother.
You fell asleep August first and you are just now waking up."
Babs: "What?!? How could you let me sleep for so long? Didn't
Buster ever call?"
Mrs. Bunny: "You were just too cute to wake up. Buster never
called."
Babs: "What? But he..."
Mrs. Bunny: "Don't you remember? He was down in Florida,
visiting family, I guess. No one really knows. We just know he went
to Florida. He left August second and got back yesterday."
Babs: "Tell me the truth, Mom? It's not really time for school, is it?
This isn't a practical joke is it? Are Ed McMahon and Dick Clark
doing a TV's Bloopers and Practical Jokes Special again? I hate
being the butt end of their pranks."
Mrs. Bunny: "No, Babs, now get going. I have to wake Mortimer
up. He starts Acme Looniversity today."
Babs: "Oka...Mortimer is going to Acme Loo... Please don't make
him have to come with me and Buster. OH PLEASE!!!"
Mrs. Bunny: "Now, Babs, he's your brother. Just take him along.
Please? I don't have time to argue."

Meanwhile down Buster's rabbit hole, Buster is awakened by the
sound of an alarm clock.

Buster: "Yawn. What is today's date? September the sixth? School
starts today. Well, I guess I gotta get dressed and eat breakfast
before I go pick up Babsy."

Suddenly, Buster's phone rings.

Buster: "Hello. Buster Bunny speaking."
Babs: "Hi Buster, this is Babs..."
Buster: "No relation...so, Babs, what's up?"
Babs: "I thought you'd like to know there will be someone else going
to school with us."
Buster: "You didn't promise Plucky he could come with us did
you?"
Babs: "No...
Buster: "Shirley..."
Babs: "No..."
Buster: "Fifi, Hamton, Sweetie, Gogo, Woodpile, WHO!!!"
Babs: "Well, I'd be glad to tell you if you let me speak...Mortimer
starts Acme Loo today."
Buster: "Oh yeah. Well, I don't mind if the freshman tags along. He
needs someone to show him around school, and that's what we're
for. We are seniors you know, it's sorta our job."
Babs: "Yeah, I guess you're right. See you later, Buster."
Buster: "Well, I guess I better get going."

And with that, Buster picks up his first day supplies, a carrot bagel
to eat on the way and heads off to meet Babs and Mortimer. 

Meanwhile over at Acme Swamp...

<<RING>>
Plucky: "Oh be quiet you stupid alarm clock."

Plucky hits the alarm clock with a sledgehammer.

Plucky: "Wait a sec... School starts today. Oh fiddlesticks. Summer
is just too short. At the next school board meeting, I'm gonna
suggest that summer last from May till November, that should be
long enough. At least this is my last year at Acme Loo. Finally, after
this year, I can retire all my excuse notes. Well, at least I'll be able to
see my sweetheart Shirley again. I think if I try to be nicer to her she
may go out with me. Guess I better get going."(and thus begin the
Plucky plot)

Back to the Rabbits. Buster arrives at Babs' house.

Buster: "You guys ready yet?"
Babs: "Just a minute. Mortimer, you head up. I'll be there in a sec."
Buster: "Hey, Mortimer, how's it going?"
Mortimer: "It's okay, I'm a little scared about starting High School."
Buster: "Don't worry, little guy. Babs and I will protect you."
Mortimer: "You will?"
Buster: "Sure, and don't let Plucky talk you into any harebrained
schemes. Who's your homeroom teacher?"
Mortimer: "Umm, let me check. Professor Daffy, is that good?"
Buster: "It could be better."

Suddenly Babs jumps out of the rabbit hole.

Babs: "Let's go, guys."
Buster: "Say, Babsy, who is your homeroom teacher? I got Bugs,
YES!"
Babs: "Oh, I got Professor Sam. We're not going to be in the same
homeroom."
(Writers note--This is the beginning of the Buster/Babs plot) 
Buster: "Don't worry, Babsy, we'll still have classes together."

After a few minutes of walking, they arrive at a very different Acme
Loo...

Babs: "Well, here we are, Acme Looniversity. Does it look different
to you, Buster?"
Buster: "I think it's the new bright blue paint. Not the best of
choices, but then, our Board of Ed isn't made up of the brightest of
people. Well, see ya after homeroom. I'll meet you outside your
door."

Suddenly Buster catches a glimpse of Mortimer.

Buster: "Oh yeah. Babsy, one of us has to show Mortimer to
Professor Daffy's homeroom."
Babs: "Daffy's homeroom is closer to you than me."
Buster: "I guess you're right. Let's go, Mortimer."

Suddenly, Plucky and Hamton appear.

Plucky: "Hey, Buster. Hey, Babs. Our final year here at Acme Loo!
Yes! Hey! Wait a minute. What's this? Mortimer, what are you
doing here?"
Mortimer: "I'm starting High School this year."
Buster(before Plucky can say anything): "So, Pluckface, who's your
homeroom teacher?"
Plucky: "I got stuck with Fudd, again, for the fifth year in a row.
Those guidance counselors must think of this as a sick, twisted
joke."
Hamton: "I'm in Professor Bugs' homeroom."
Buster: "What a coincidence, so am I. Come on, we'll walk
Mortimer to his homeroom. See you guys later."

The Toonsters enter the school and go to each of their homerooms.
As Babs is walking to her homeroom she sees an unfamiliar face.

Babs: "Are you new here?"
Richie: "Yeah, my name is Richie Rabbit. Do you know where
Professor Sam's homeroom is?"
Babs: "Sure, that's where I'm going. Let's go."

After about a minute, Babs and Richie are standing outside
Professor Sam's homeroom.

Richie: "Thanks for showing me to my homeroom."
Babs: "It's no problem, you're kinda cute."
Richie: "Gee, thanks. I hate being transferred from school to school.
This is my sixth school in four years. My dad is in the army and I
have to keep moving from school to school."
Babs: "Must be tough for ya, I mean never really having a chance to
make friends because you guys keep moving."

Suddenly Babs pulls out a stack of paper about a mile high...

Richie: "What's that?"
Babs: "The script. I have a feeling I forgot to tell you something."
Richie: "Your name?"
Babs: "Oh yeah, it's Barbara Anne Bunny, but I make my friends
call me Babs because if they do call me Barbara Anne, I punch
them in the gut."
Richie: "Um...okay, Babs. I'll have to remember that..."

They enter the doorway to the room that is Sam's.

Babs: "Well, here we are at Prof. Sam's homeroom, let me warn ya,
Professor Sam can get pretty hot under the collar about nothing."
Richie: "Thanks for the advice"
Sam: "Why the razza-frackin are you two late?"
Babs: (to Richie)"See what I mean?"
Richie: "Yeah, I guess so. How are we going to get out of this?"
Babs: "Don't worry, I'll handle it. Professor Sam, we aren't late, the
clock in here is fast, look at my watch see, it's only 7:30, homeroom
doesn't start for another five minutes"
Sam: "Why I guess you're right. But don't let it happen again!"

Five Minutes pass...

Buster: "Good Morning Toonsters, I'm Buster Bunny, president of
the student body, and I'll be doing your daily announcements for
this year. Welcome back to Acme Looniversity!! I can assure you
this will be the greatest of all years. Who knows what can happen
this year! Today's lunch is Tomato Surprise. All freshmen should
report to the auditorium at 8:00 for orientation. Please note the new
class schedule. Each  period has been lengthened five minutes and
we now get out forty minutes later. Just a reminder to marching
band members that there is rehearsal after school today. Also if you
are interested in joining tech Crew, please see the band director,
Prof. Pig, sometime today. Attention football team, please
remember to have everything you need for practice this afternoon.
Have a great day!"

Suddenly, a few seconds after Buster's voice disappears off the
intercom, the bell signifying the end of homeroom rings.

As Babs and Richie leave their homeroom, Babs notices a glassy
look in his eyes.

Babs:  "Is something wrong, Richie?"
Richie: "Uh, no.  I, um... uh... well, you see... I just wanted to thank
you for getting me out of that jam with Professor Sam."

Without warning, Richie grabs ahold of Babs and kisses her.  Babs
tries to pull away, but she can't get free of his grasp.  Worried that
someone might see them, she does the only thing she can think of to
end the kiss, and end it quickly; she focuses all her energy into
kissing him back. Richie, unprepared for the sudden onslaught of
ecstasy that accompanies this, soon loses cohesion, and melts into a
puddle at Babs' feet.  Feeling both confused and angry over what
has just happened, Babs quickly leaves him, and heads for her
locker to meet with Buster.  As soon as she turns to go though,
Richie regains cohesion, and he quickly catches up to her. Before he
can say anything though, Buster arrives.

Buster: "Hey, Babsy, whatcha got first period?"

Buster suddenly catches a glimpse of Richie. He notices that Richie
doesn't seem "all there"

Buster: "Hey, Babs. Who's your friend?"
Babs: "This is Richie Rabbit, he just transferred to Acme Loo. As to
answer your other question I have Advanced Fish Languages. I hear
they are teaching Octopus and Squid this year:

Buster(to Richie): "Something wrong, Richie?"
Richie: "Um...uh, no, nothing's wrong. I'm just fine. What would
make you say that?"

Buster: "Well, I've got Wild Takes first period. How 'bout you,
Richie?"
Richie: "I've got Space Exploration, should be interesting. See you
guys later."
Buster: "See ya, Richie. As for you, Miss Bunny, I'll see you after
class."

Buster gives Babs a big wet kiss and they walk towards their first
period class. On the way to first period they encounter someone
they don't want to encounter, Elmyra.

Elmyra: "Ooh, cuddly hippity hop bunny wunny head-heads."
Buster & Babs: "Hi, Elmyra..."
Babs: "So where are you off to, Dolt 101, Idiotosis, Pre-Mental
Spelling(to be referred toas PMS from now on)?"
Elmyra: "Hee hee hee, no silly bunny-wunny. I'm headed to
advanced fish languages. I'm considering loving squiddy-widdys and
octopussy-wussy-head-heads to pieces' y'know. Besides, I don't have
PMS until 6th period."
Babs: "Oh great, I've got to put up with Elmyra every first period
for the next 180 days."
Buster: "Gee, Babs, you make it seem like it's a long time. And look
on the bright side, think about the days she's absent... See ya later,
Babs."

<<Ring>> 

Buster: "Phew, made it to class just in time."
Bugs: "Eh, good morning class, welcome to Wild Takes. I'm your
teacher, Professor..."
Plucky: "<pant pant pant> Sorry I'm late, Professor Bugs, I
had...uh...trouble with my locker."
Bugs: "Plucky, you used that one on the first day of school last year,
and every year you've been here. If you plan on staying at Acme
Loo any longer you better come up with a better excuse. It didn't
work then and it won't work now. Especially since we don't assign
lockers until second period."
Buster: "I can't believe you, Plucky, why were you late to class"  
Plucky: "I don't know how to tell you this, Pal, but, on my way
here, I passed Babs while I was leaving homeroom, she was with
another Bunny, and before she went to her locker, she kissed him
on the lips. I'm pretty sure he slipped her the tongue."
Buster: "And that took you ten...Babs, my Babs was kissing Richie?
Did she seem to be enjoying it?"
Plucky: "I don't know how to tell you this. She started the kiss and
had it last five minutes. After it was done, he melted into a puddle."
Buster: "He melted into a puddle? But that's my wild take after she
finishes kissing me! I can't believe it, she's cheating on me. I can't
believe it. And after she almost had my children in Buster's Guide to
Unconsummated Romance, I feel so used."

Buster sits through class not as into it as he was before, forty
minutes, that seem like a lifetime, later the bell rings. Buster goes to
get Babs.

Buster: "Babs, what's going on?"
Babs: "What do you mean, Buster?"

Babs starts caressing Buster with her ears when Buster pulls them
away.

Buster: "Don't play games with me, Barbara Anne Bunny! I know
you kissed Richie before first period. I know he slipped you the
tongue, and I know he melted into a puddle."
Babs: "Okay, and how did you get these allegations?"
Buster: "Plucky saw you."
Babs: "Plucky, the duck that couldn't get a date if his life depended
on it. That Plucky? Please, Buster, give me some credit! Would you
believe Plucky over me?
Buster: "Um...Well... Plucky has been known to lie. I'm sorry."

Somewhere on the other side of Acme Loo, we finally join in on
Mortimer. Mortimer is sitting in the auditorium getting ready for the
meeting. Suddenly a cute little girl bunny around his age sits next to
him.

Female Bunny: "Hi, I'm Robin. What's your name?"
Mortimer: "My name...uh...oh yeah, my name is Mortimer."
Robin: "That's a cute name for such a cute bunny."
Mortimer: "Ya think so, I've never really been to fond of it.
Especially the way my sister makes fun of me using my name."
Robin: "Really, what does she say?"
Mortimer: "Nothing really brain threatening. Just things like More-
to-hurt, and things like that."
Robin: "Well, don't listen to her, she's just jealous. How would you
like to go to a movie tonight?" 
Mortimer: "Woah! Fast Pickup. Talking about my sister to talking
about going to a movie. What a transaction. But I would most
definitely say yes. I'll pick you up around seven."

Robin gives Mortimer a kiss and walks away.

Over at the phone outside the cafeteria...

Richie: "Roddy, the plan is working great! I'm stringing her along.
I'm going to keep being seen around school with her. I walk with her
after school near the football field, and if Buster still doesn't buy it. I
may have to..."
Roddy: "You're not considering sleeping with the enemy, are you?
You better not be!"
Richie: "Do you think I'd want to sleep with a whore like that? I was
going to say take her hostage, but If you'd rather I seduce and sleep
with her, I'm sure it can be arranged..."
Roddy: "Don't even think of it. I don't want any of my  Perfectos in
a relationship with an Acme Loo Loser. And if you were to get her
pregnant, sheesh, you know what the teen pregnancy rate is these
days! Hostage take will be perfect. With Babs as a hostage, Buster
will fall into depression, the Acme Loo football team will go to
shambles and we will win the Acme Bowl! (How's that for a plot
twist?)"

Hamton is heading toward his Home-Ec class when he finds Plucky
and Shirley.

Hamton: "Hey, Plucky! Hey, Shirley!"
Shirley: "Hi, Hamton. Like, where are you headed to?"
Hamton: "I'm going to Home-Ec. How about you?"

But before Shirley could answer, Plucky jumps in...

Plucky: "Guys, have you heard about what's going on between
Buster and Babs?"
Hamton and Shirley: "Something is going on between Buster and
Babs?!?"
Plucky: "Yeah, I was going to my first period class when I saw Babs
kissing another bunny."
Shirley: "So, maybe it was Mortimer."
Plucky: "Come on, Babs never gives Mortimer a kiss at her house,
why would she give him a kiss here, and a kiss like she gave to this
bunny? Did I tell you he melted into a puddle?"
Shirley: "Er... I guess you could be right, but why would Babs cheat
on Buster?"
(Doesn't this seem to be turning into an episode of 90210?)
Hamton: "I think Babs doesn't love Buster anymore and she is trying
to find another one to love yet not let Buster know just yet so as to
not hurt his feelings, but I could be wrong."
Plucky: "But keeping it from him will only create more tension
between them."
Shirley: "Plucky, can it be? Are you actually turning into a sensible,
caring duck."
Plucky: "Well, this is my final year here, y'know. I thought it would
be better if I changed my ways."

Shirley is stunned with the sudden change in Plucky, and in the
quickness at which it develops. She wonders if this a desperate ploy
just to get him and her alone. She tries an idea.

Shirley: "Well, Plucky, seeing how you've changed, how bout I
come over to do homework and maybe some dinner?"

Plucky stands in his place, dazed and confused. Shirley is actually
coming on to him. My plan must be working, he thinks to himself.

Plucky: "Well, sure, Shirl."
Shirley: "Meet me in the library after school."

Suddenly the bell rings signifying the start of second period. (it
wasn't that long of a wait, now was it?)

Prof. Granny: "Good morning Class, this is Home Ec 202. This
year we will cover the preparation of foods from foreign countries."
Hamton: "Yum! Foreign Cuisine. When do we start cooking?"
Prof. Granny: "Now, Hamton, we have to go over the safety rules,
the kitchen equipment, how to use the kitchen equipment, the parts
of a recipe, how to read a recipe, how to measure solids, how to
measure liquids, how to find the square root of two times pie, and
Clean-up. It shouldn't take us more than 2 months to cover all this
material."
Hamton: "Two months!?!"
Prof. Granny: "Now, Hamton, if you will remember, it took half the
year to go over this last year. It is only going to take two months
because we will be going at a faster pace, just as a review."
Hamton: "Two months?!?"
Prof. Granny: "Yes, Hamton, and if you don't like it, you know
where the Guidance Office is."
Hamton: "Two months?!?"

Granny lectures on the entire period about the correct use of a
spatula. For some time, Hamton considers dropping the course
when forty-five minutes seems like forty-five years. Finally after the
forty-five  minutes of sheer torture the bell rings. Mortimer and
Babs run into each other on their way to third period.

Mortimer: "Hi, Sis!"
Babs: "Hello, Mortimer."
Mort.: "I'm having a great day today."
Babs: "That's nice."
Mort.: "All my teachers are cool..."
Babs: "Uh-huh."
Mort.: "I also have a date tonight."
Babs, suddenly realizing her brother is talking to her: "A girlfriend.
How cute, Mortimer has got a little girlfriend."
Mort.: "Shut up, Babs. You'd better not pick on me this year... I've
got some trash on you that could ruin your reputation! I saw you
after homeroom on my way to that stupid orientation and I know
that wasn't Buster."
Babs: "What are you talking about, of course that was Buster."
Mort.: Since when does Buster have a brown fur coat?"
Babs: "Well, uh..."
Mort.: "I could tell Buster and ruin your life"

At this point Babs remembers that Plucky already told Buster about
it(remember first period?). Unfortunately, Babs was able to talk
Buster out of thinking it was true by saying stuff about Plucky. This
was her brother, she knew Buster would believe him.

Babs: "What do you want, Mortimer?"
Mort.: "Nothing...yet. When I want something, I'll let you know.
And, if I don't get it, I'll tell Buster, and I know he'll believe me!"

Mortimer walks into the locker banks and then disappears out of
sight.

Babs: "I've never seen this side of Mortimer before. I wonder if he
really would tell Buster..."

Just as Babs starts that thought Fifi walks onto the screen

Fifi: "Tell Buster what, Babz?"
Babs: "Um...That I am... uh... throwing him a surprise party next
week."
Fifi: "A party? Ooh-la-la! What should I wear?"

Fifi walks off from her brief and extremely pointless cameo.(for the
time being...)

Babs: "I never meant to hurt Buster when I started doing this. Richie
was the one that came on to me. I was forced into that kiss. How
will Buster understand this? WHY DOES MY LIFE FEEL LIKE
AN EPISODE OF MELROSE PLACE???"

Suddenly, Richie walks into view.

Richie: "Hi, Babsy."
Babs: "Er, uh...Hi Richie. I need to talk to you."
Richie: "About what?"
Babs: "You know." 
Richie: "Oh."
Babs: "There is nothing between us. I can understand it if you have
a crush on me, I mean, what male rabbit wouldn't? I mean, I'm cute,
sweet, adorable and very attractive, but I'm also Buster's Bunny.
There's nothing you can do to take that away from us. Absolutely
nothing."

Babs finishes the thought, but suddenly comes to the conclusion that
Richie wasn't really paying any attention to what she was saying
when he starts to come on to her again.

Richie: "Aw, come on, Babs, you know you love me. You know
there was something in that kiss after homeroom. What does Buster
have that I don't have? You know you want me and not Buster.
Don't deny yourself of the love that is Richie."

As Richie finishes his thought, he puts his arms around Babs, his
ears intertwine with hers, he looks into her eyes, and lays a soft,
passionate kiss onto the lips of Babs.

Buster(in shock): "Babs!?! How could you? I should of listened to
Plucky. It's obvious you don't care about me anymore..."
Babs: "But..."
Buster: "Don't you 'but...' me, Barbara Anne, you little slut. I can't
believe you are cheating on me. You are a little tramp! Get away
from me, you little whore, we're through!!! I never want to see you
again.  You can have him. I don't want you. I'd rather go out with
Elmyra than go out with you."

Out of nowhere, Elmyra appears on the screen.

Elmyra: "Ewoo! I'll pick you up at seven. My favorite movie is
playing The Adventures of Fido and Mew-Mew and afterwards we
can go to Weenie Burger and then you can bring me home and give
me a good night kiss and then we'll get engaged and then we will get
married and have four kids who will fall in love with each other..."
Buster: "Hold on, Elmyra, it was just an example. Besides, I
wouldn't want my kids inbreeding."

Suddenly that strange twist of the plot is over.

Babs: "Think about what you just did, remember what happened in
Buster's Guide to Unconsummated Romance? You did go out with
Elmyra..."
Buster: "That's beside the point. We're through, Barbara Anne. I'd
rather watch Power Rangers and melt away my brain cells than look
at you while I'm waiting to go out with Elmyra tonight."

Buster walks off in a mad rage. Babs is down on her knees in tears.

Richie: "It's alright, Babs, I will always love you."

Babs realizes that Richie is the reason that Buster just broke up with
her. Should Babs explode at Richie or just be friendly to him...

Babs: "Thanks, Richie! Becuase of you, I've lost my boyfriend! I
never ever want to see you again! Just get the heck out of my face!"
Richie: "Now Babs, I know you're upset. But, it's obvious Buster
didn't love you. I love you, Babs. I would never do anything to
cause you to leave. I would follow you to the ends of the earth.
Babs Bunny, I love you."

Babs suddenly becomes hypnotized by Richie. She starts to return
his attraction.

Babs: "Well, then, I guess I was wrong about you, Richie. Would
you like to go to a movie tonight?"
Richie: "Sure."

Off in a secluded part of Acme Loo, Buster sits and cries.

Buster: "Why would she do this to me? I was faithful. The only time
I looked at another bunny was in thirteensomething, but that's
because she left and I needed a new co-host. I never meant to do
anything to hurt Babs. I could never survive without her. My life is
ruined. This has to be the worst day of my life, I lose my girlfriend,
and worst of all I have a date with Elmyra, who is already planning
the rest of our lives together. I don't want to go on living..."

And with that thought, Buster's Guardian Bunny appears once
more.

Guardian Bunny: "Having troubles again, Buster?"
Buster: "Hi GB. You could say that, I caught my girlfriend cheating
on me, so I dumped her. Then. I made a date with Elmyra, and now
she is ready for the wedding. I feel miserable."
GB: "Argh, love. Something I will never understand. I've been with
the same woman for about 700 years. Why is it on earth, these
things happen, but in the afterlife they don't? Oh well, anyway... I
suppose you know what is supposed to happen now."
Buster: "Cue 'Life Without Buster'?"

Suddenly the screen does a flashback wiggle without actually
flashing back.

Buster: "GB, you're letting me down, we are still in this secluded
part of Acme Loo we started in."
GB: "Do I have to explain this to you every time? We are in Acme
Loo, but you are not. You are nonexistant. Come, Babs is outside
her locker."
Buster: "Nonexistant? Gee last time I was never born, what
happened this time, was I hit by a tractor while frolicking with Babs
in a carrot patch five years ago??"

Buster and GB make their way to Babs' Locker. Babs is standing at
her locker talking to another bunny. Buster figures it is Richie but
can't be sure because his back is to them.

Babs: "So, Snugglebunny, we going to get together again tonight?"
The Other Bunny(we are assuming it is Richie, but I am not going
to tell you just yet): "Of Course. Our movie is playing tonight."
Babs: "I love you, Snugglebunny."
The Other Bunny: "I love you to, Bunnybunch."

The Other Bunny walks off the screen, the invisible Buster & GB
make their way to Babs' locker. Babs utters something. Suddenly
Shirley walks onto the screen. Fortunately, Shirley's aura is being
cleansed so she can't detect unborn or dead creatures.

Shirley: "Hi, Babs."
Babs: "Oh, hi, Shirl."
Shirley: "What are you upset about?"
Babs: "Nothing. I was just thinking."
Shirley: "About him."
Babs: "Yes."

Buster wonders who this "him" is, could it be Richie, maybe it is
Buster himself, or somebunny else?

Babs: "I just can't help but feel guilty for his death."
Shirley: "Babs, that happened five years ago. You can't go on living
your life in guilt. He wouldn't want it that way."

Buster: "GB, who are they talking about? Who was that she was
with?"
GB: "Just listen carefully, you'll find out shortly."

Babs: "I could have saved him. I should have. It's my fault he died. I
hate myself for not trying harder."
Shirley: "Babs, I'm not going to be Scar, from the Lion King, about
this. I'm not going to tell you it was your fault, because it wasn't, in
your heart you know that. You have to get over this. He wouldn't
want you living in denial all your life. Besides your starting to sound
like Jason, the Red Ranger, after Tommy lost his powers."

Babs looks at Shirley with a confused look on her face.

Shirley: "I was flipping through the channels and my batteries just
mysteriously died when I tried to pass Power Rangers."
Babs: "Isn't that always the way, it happens whenever I baby-sit, but
back to the point. I know, but Buster was my first true love, we
shouldn't have been frolicking in that carrot patch when the tractor
was coming. I couldn't pull him out of the way in time. It's my
fault."
Shirley: "Babs, you've got Jimmy now."
Babs: "You're right. Shirley."

Shirley and Babs walk off screen. Babs is still in tears. Buster and
GB move toward Babs' locker.
Buster: "I was hit by a tractor five years ago?!? Did I call that one or
what? (pause) Freaky! I think I better start seeing Ms. Dote about
this."

GB: "That's right, this is life without Buster Bunny. Go look in
Babs' locker..."
Buster: "But I don't know her combination."
GB: "It is 1-25-76."

Buster starts entering the combination when he makes a startling
realization.

Buster: "1-25-76? That is my birthday..."
GB: "That's right, even though you are gone and there is another
bunny, she still loves you. There is further proof of this in her
locker."

Buster finishes the combination and opens the locker in surprise,
there, in the locker, are many of Buster's belongings, and some of
the gifts he had given her throughout the years.

Buster: "That's my smelly old gym shirt, and that's the locket I gave
her on her 10th birthday, not to mention a lock of my fur."

Buster thinks for a minute to come to the realization that Babs does
love him, no matter what would happen between them. There must
be something going on involving Richie. He thinks, Maybe there is
more to Richie than what meets the eye.

GB: "Now you're getting it, Buster. Is there anything else you would
like to see, or shall we go back now?"
Buster, stopping to think for a minute: "Let's check on our friend
Richie."
GB: "Alright, but I don't know what good that will do. You're dead.
When we return, no one will believe you."
Buster: "I realize that. It's just that he must be up to something. Do
you think we could go back to when I was alive..."
GB: "Yes! I never thought you'd ask to go back."
Buster: "Let me finish. I want to see what Richie was up to today. Is
there anyway we can like, rewind today  until when she first met
Richie up to the point where I dumped Babs? I want to see if, at any
point during the day, Richie seemed to be up to no good."

Suddenly GB pulls out The Guardian Angel's Official Handbook
and looks it over. Buster grows impatient.

Buster: "Well?"
GB: "There is nothing against doing that in the handbook."
Buster: "Great, now we have to go back to the start of today, with
me being alive, of course, when Babs first met Richie."
GB: "If you insist."
Suddenly the flashback fade out appears. A moment later we are
back at Acme Loo, present early morning. Babs is walking to her
homeroom with the new kid.

Babs: "Are you new here?"
Richie: "Yeah, my name is Richie Rabbit. Do you know where
Professor Sam's homeroom is?"
Babs: "Sure, that's where I'm going. Let's go."
Richie: "Thanks for showing me to my homeroom."
Babs: "It's no problem, you're kinda cute."
Richie: "Gee, thanks. I hate being transferred from school to school.
This is my 6th school in 4 years. My dad is in the army."
Babs: "Must be tough for ya, I mean never really having a chance to
make friends because you guys keep moving."

Buster listens in, 

Buster: "Nothing strange here. GB, Let's go to the next time Babs
was with him."

As Babs and Richie left their homeroom, Babs noticed that he had a
glassy look in his eyes.
Babs:  "Is something wrong, Richie?"
Richie: "Uh, no.  I, um... uh... well, you see... I just wanted to thank
you for getting me out of that jam with Professor Sam."
Without warning, Richie grabbs ahold of Babs and kisses her.  Babs
tries to pull away, but she can't get free of his grasp.  Worried that
someone might see them, she does the only thing she can think of to
end the kiss, and end it quickly; she focuses all her energy into
kissing him back. Richie, unprepared for the sudden onslaught of
ecstasy that accompanies this, soon loses cohesion, and melts into a
puddle at Babs feet.  Feeling both confused and angry over what
has just happened, Babs quickly leeaves him, and heads to her
locker to meet with Buster.  As soon as she turns to go though,
Richie regained his cohesion, and he quickly caught up to her. 

Buster: "Plucky was wrong! Babs didn't start that kiss. She was
forced into it. Babs was faithful. I can't believe I said those things to
her. I wonder what Richie is up to. Hey GB, Was Richie alone any
time today?"
GB: "Well, he was on the phone at one time during the day."
Buster: "Well, what are we waiting for?"

Suddenly Buster and GB find themselves near the pay-phone.

Buster: "Well, GB, where is he?"
GB: "Be patient, Buster, he will be walking around the
corner...now."

Suddenly Richie appears and inserts a quarter in the pay phone
outside the cafeteria.

Richie: "Roddy, the plan is working great! I'm stringing her along.
I'm going to keep being seen around school with her. I walk with her
after school near the football field, and if Buster still doesn't buy it. I
may have to..."
Roddy: "You're not considering sleeping with the enemy, are you?
You better not be!"
Richie: "Do you think I'd want to sleep with a whore like that? I was
going to say take her hostage, but If you'd rather I seduce and sleep
with her, I'm sure it can be arranged..."
Roddy: "Don't even think of it. I don't want any of my  Perfectos in
a relationship with an Acme Loo Loser. And if you were to get her
pregnant, sheesh, you know what the teen pregnancy rate is these
days! Hostage take will be perfect. With Babs as a hostage, Buster
will fall into depression, the Acme Loo football team will go to
shambles and we will win the Acme Bowl! (How's that for a plot
twist?)"

Buster: "Richie is a spy from Perfecto! I knew something as up.
But...all of this is over the Acme Bowl? Jeez, Perfecto must be
desperate to win, especially to pull a stunt like that. GB, I doubt
Babs will believe me if I told her, is there anyway we could get this
conversation recorded, or something?"
GB: "I don't know about recorded, but look over there, not more
than five feet from the pay-phone."

Buster looks, and to his surprise, he sees Lil Sneezer over near the
phone. 

Buster: "This couldn't be more perfect. Sneezer is so small, Richie
didn't see him, and Sneezer could have heard the whole
conversation. GB, we've got to get back!"

Suddenly, Buster is back in the lone corridor where he started.

Buster: "Thanks, GB! Now to find Sneezer."

Buster wanders the halls aimlessly. Just when he is about to give up
he passes the band room. The sound of a trumpet comes floating
through the air.

Buster: "Ack, the trumpeter needs some practice."

Just then Buster remembers Music Day, when Sneezer was learning
the trumpet, Buster Bursts into the band room.

Prof. Pig.: "Why, he...hel...hell...  Oh, hi, Buster"
Buster: "Hi Prof. Pig. You wouldn't happen to know where Sneezer
is?"
Prof. Pig: "Why yes, he's in the back room, practicing his trumpet."
Buster: "I should have known. Can I talk to him for a minute?"
Prof. Pig: "Why sure, Buster."

Buster enters the Back room, Sneezer is diligently trying to learn his
music.

Buster: "Hi, Sneezer"
Sneezer: "Oh, Hi, Buster!"
Buster: "Sneezer, where were you before Third period?"
Sneezer: "Um, outside the cafeteria... near the phone."
Buster: "Was there a brown rabbit on the phone?"
Sneezer: "Yes."
Buster: "Did you happen to hear what he said?"
Sneezer: "Golly gee wilikers, I heard some of it. He said something
about wooing Babs so she'd dump you and if that didn't work, he'd
take her Hostage. I don't know why though."
Buster: "That's good enough. Meet me outside the cafeteria next
period, we are going to have a chat with Babs."

Time passes, suddenly the bell signifying the end of fourth period
rings. All the Toonsters with Fifth period lunch crowd into the
cafeteria. Buster and Sneezer wait outside.

Buster: "Okay, Sneezer, wait around the corner, when you here me
say, 'I know someone who you can believe,' come out. Now quick,
hide, here comes Babs."

Sneezer hides around the corner and Babs starts to open the
cafeteria doors when Buster starts talking to her.

Buster: "Hi, Babs."
Babs: "I thought you didn't want to talk to me?"
Buster: "I need to talk to you about Richie, he's not who you thinks
he is."
Babs: "How do you know who I think he is?"
Buster: "Babs, listen to me, Richie is from Perfecto Prep. He
wanted us to break up so Perfecto could win the Acme Bowl."
Babs: "And why should I believe you?"
Buster: Well, if you aren't going to believe me, I know someone
who you can believe."

Suddenly Sneezer walks around the corner.

Buster: "Babs, Richie was on the phone with Roddy. If you won't
believe me, I know you'll believe Sneezer."
Sneezer: "Babs, I was there, Richie said something about trying to
break up you and Buster and something about taking you hostage. I
don't know why though. It's the truth, golly gee."

Suddenly, Babs comes back to reality. Richie's hypnotism has worn
off...

Babs: "Why that rotten, no good, dirty, $#!%,  PERFECTO!"
Buster: "Babs, control yourself, this is a 'G' rated story."
Babs: "Gee, with some of the language earlier, you wouldn't believe
it."
Buster: "I'm sorry about what I said before"
Babs: "And, Buster, I'm sorry I didn't believe you, I'm also sorry I
fell for him. I've got a plan that will get Richie back. Before seventh
period I want you to..."

Time passes, the bell signifying the end of sixth period rings.

Babs: "Buster, ready to unleash the plan?"
Buster: "Ready, Babs."

Richie walks around the corner and sees Buster and Babs.

Babs: "Buster I can't believe you would even say something like
that."
Buster. "Well excuse me. If you don't want to believe about what I
told you about him, I have better things to do."
Babs: "Like what, watch Power Rangers? You are such a liar. I can
see through you, Buster. You just said those things so I would break
up with Richie and go back out with you. You're jealous."
Buster: "I'm jealous? Well aren't we self-centered. Richie is the
biggest jerk at the school. He makes Monty qualify for sainthood.
His ego is so large it makes Plucky's seem the size of a pea. "

Richie can't help but to jump in to defend Babs...

Richie: "Listen Buster, she dumped you, the whole school knows it.
You will never get her away from me. So just butt out before I have
to defend my girlfriend's honor"
Buster: "Don't you even start with me. I know what is up with you."
Richie: "Yeah, sure you do. You have no way to prove anything."
Buster: "Wanna bet. I've been done to guidance during the day and
look what I dug up...

                 ___________
                | Rabbit, Richie|________
                |                                      |
                |                                      |
                | PERMANENT             |
                |      RECORD                |
                |                                      |
                |___________________|

Richie: "What's that got to do with anything?"
Buster: "It'll let me see about your past schools..."
Richie: "You have no way to prove I'm from Perfecto."
Babs: "Who said anything about being at Perfecto?"
Richie: "Uh...er... Certainly not me."
Buster: "Gotcha, Richie. Now got your hide out of Acme Loo and
never come back, and give this little note to Roddy."

Richie is stunned. He can't believe he was outsmarted by an Acme
Loo Loser. 

Buster: "Babs, I'm sorry I didn't believe you."
Babs: "That's okay, Buster, I'm just sorry I fell for a dweeb like
him."
Buster: "What was that Power Ranger crack? You acted like I was a
Power Ranger and lost my power or something."
Babs: "Woah...freaky...Karen was watching Power Rangers the
other day, God only knows why, but then most six year olds are in
love with them. Did I ever tell you how obsessed she is with the Red
one? She collects all his stuff and never misses an episode,
especially when the red one takes control, but isn't that every
episode..."
Buster: "Your point being..."
Babs: "Well that 'lost the power' line made me remember the
episode she was watching the other day. Her idol, Jason, was very
upset because he thought it was his fault that Tommy, the green
one, lost his power, but what she doesn't know is that Tommy will
soon become the White Ranger and the leader of the Power
Rangers and that there will be three new Rangers...how do I know
this? Anyway, when you said that it was my fault we broke up, I
couldn't help but say that Power Ranger line. I hope you
understand."
Buster: "Eh...sure."

Buster and Babs kiss well through the bell for seventh period.
Buster and Babs continue the day fine. Eighth period is over and
suddenly the intercom crackles.

Buster: "Good Afternoon, Toonsters, I hope you have enjoyed your
first day back at Acme Loo. Only 179 more days to go. This will
definitely be a year to remember. See everybody tomorrow."

And with that everyone rushes to the buses and head on home. But
who knows what the future will hold for all of the Toonsters at
Acme Loo? Will Perfecto send over more spies? Will we be forced
to watch more bad programming such as Power Ranger or VR
Troopers, or Super Human Samurais? I hope not.

After School in the library:

Plucky: "I wonder where Shirley is? Did she stand me up?"

Suddenly Shirley appears in the doorway of the library.

Shirley to herself: "Why am I going through with this? Plucky will
more then likely try to hit on me. Unless, of course, he truly has
changed. But is Plucky capable of changing?"
Plucky: "Hi, Shirl, I'll be with you in a minute."

Suddenly Plucky runs out of the library and ducks into the nearest
boys room.

Plucky: "I can't believe it! She is going through with this. Could it
be? Has Shirley finally fallen for me?" 

Plucky ponders those questions for a few minutes. When he finally
builds up the courage to go back to Shirley, he walks out of the
bathroom and spies his dream girl from the Spring Break Special.
Plucky: "Hello, beautiful, remember me?"
Dream Girl: "I sure do. You were trying to sell the TanMeister,
fried yourself and I came over to see if you were okay, then you
spent the entire spring chasing after me and I finally fell your pig
friend."
Plucky: "I'm surprised you can remember that much. I chose not to
remember that spring."
Dream Girl: "Why? Because that cute little red haired girl thought
you were a bunny? You've got to get over things like that."
Plucky: "So, uh, what are you doing in Acme Loo. I thought you
lived in Fort Lauderdale?"
DG: "My parents moved up here over the summer."
Plucky: "And to think, I've just found you now."
DG: "I know. I can't believe it. Anyway, have you seen my cute
piggy boyfriend?"

After hearing this, Plucky falls to pieces. He then realizes what he
has in Shirley. 

Plucky: "I think he's at his locker. It's number 543. Now, if you'll
excuse me, I've got someone waiting in the library."
Dream Girl: "Thanks!"

Plucky runs to the library where he sees Shirley, in all her beauty,
sitting at the table.

Shirley: "Like, what took you so long, Plucky?"
Plucky: "I had to go to the bathroom."
Shirley: "I see, so shall we start studying?"
Plucky; "Sure."

Meanwhile down at Hamton's Locker...

Hamton: "So, Fifi, what do you want to do tonight? Try to take
over the world?"
Fifi: "No. I'd rather zee a movie?"
Hamton: "Then dinner afterwards?"
Fifi: "But of course!"

Suddenly the Dream Girl walks into sight...

Dream Girl: "Hello, Hamton, the piggy love of my life!"

Hamton sees the Dream Girl and goes into an assorted array of wild
takes.

Fifi: "And who are you?"
Dream Girl: "I'm his girlfriend."
Fifi: "Zat eez what you theenk! Prepare yourzelf to fight for theez
piggy!"

As Fifi says this, she arms herself with her tail and leashes out her
odor. The Dream Girl gets hit by Fifi's odor and murmurs
something as she walks out of sight.

Dream Girl: "Maybe that cute little green ducky is still available!"

And with that, the Dream Girl runs out of sight, looking to ruin
another life.

Hamton: "Fifi! Why did you do that?"
Fifi: "I was protecting you."
Hamton: "Thanks, but I can take care of myself."
Fifi: "But...that girl..."
Hamton: "I might of felt something for her, but that was last spring
when we were in Florida. I love you, Fifi. If someone ever came
between us, you know I'd choose you."

Meanwhile, over at Perfecto prep, Richie is returning with the piece
of paper in his hand..

Dear Roddy,
	Can't you think of any other way to try to 
get us? Having someone try to steal my girlfriend 
will never work. Maybe we'll send Plucky over to 
help you cook up some decent plans.
		Love,
		    Buster Bunny	

Fade out

It seems most of the Toons have found love: Buster has Babs,
Plucky has Shirley, Mortimer has Robin, Hamton has Fifi, and
Elmyra has Monty, although she has Buster tonight. Maybe some of
the other Toons will discover true love and kindle new friendships
during their final year at Acme Looniversity. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Final Note: I apologize for all the MMPR lines, but my little brother
has been taking control of the TV and watching the show. You'd be
amazed how much you can figure out from that show just by
watching one ep. Anyway, send all "Get Colin His Own TV
Fund"contributions to me. Personalized Checks and money orders
accepted. Please no C.O.D.s.

SPECIAL THANKS:

Kevin Mickel(HKUriah) for editing this and helping this along with
it's progress. If not for him, this story would not bethe way it is.

John Friedrich(Nefaira) for alowing me to make a mention to
Buster's Guide to Unconsummated Romance(available for
download in the Toon Talk Archives)
                                                                                     
COMING SOON: The final days at Acme Loo...Saying Goodbye. Also, be sure to read
the Shirley the Loon adventure, Snow Loon!