VIOLATION As written by Razorback Jack (glendarl@worldnet.att.net) TTA characters (c) Warner Brothers/Amblim Ent. 2000 LT characters (c) Warner Brothers 2000 Heavy Gear characters/equipment (c) Activision 2000 Third-party characters (c) their creators 2000 Any new character added into this story is either one I have created or one created with the consent of the party representing the character. All characters/products are the sole property of their owners. *** Chapter 2: The Hunt Commences Homicide sighed. He wasn't used to being so close to capture in an instant. On the other hand, he never had an assignment quite like this anyway. It seemed likely that a few close shaves would be expected. He made a note of that in his storage chip. He stood up and looked around. It was now around midnight, a little less than three hours after he had managed to find the information he needed from Bugs' office. He was now flipping through the Cartoon Physics book at his naturally rapid pace. He then stopped on a particular chapter that caught his attention like a shot. "Hmm, what's this? 'The Laws of Cartoon Frailty, Patent Pending...' the plot thickens." As thick as the plot was, however, Homicide needed to concentrate on the task at hand...his assassination mission. But how are you supposed to assassinate a cartoon character? The answer escaped Homicide...at least, for now... --- Morning. Some people wake up wishing it had never come. Others take it on as if it were nothing. But at Bunny Manor, it meant something. Bugs opened the door to his office, stepping out of the way before the avalanche of papers could so much as blow wind through his fur. As he entered, he sensed that something wasn't quite right. For now, he dismissed it, and looked for a specific book. In fact, it was a book that would cause quite a stir. Lola was making breakfast when the gray blur shot into the room. "Da book! It's GONE!" Lola turned around to see Bugs, standing in a puddle of sweat and apparently very nervous about something. "What book?" "My cartoon physics book! I need dat to give my class a lecture today!" "Bugs, you'll find it...where was it last time?" "Right where I left it!" "Where was the last place you left it?" "My office! It was right dere in my office!" Now Lola was becoming concerned. Had someone indeed broke into the house last night? She decided to tell Bugs. "Uhm, Bugs? I think I should tell you something..." "Sure. What?" "I think someone broke into our house last night." Bugs was taken aback a bit, then grew angry. "Why dat doity scoundral! He stole dat book!" "Well, maybe. Didn't you see his footprints outside your office?" "No. Dat's where the papers always land." "Well, go sift through them and check the floor." Bugs then shot back upstairs and soon papers were flying. It was then Bugs found the footprints. "Wait a dang minute here! Dese footprints aren't of any foe I've ever encountered! Not even of that crazy Inspector! Maybe I'd better call him..." Just then, a barely discernable lump fell from the ceiling. It stood up, quickly revealing itself to be none other than the Inspector, in clothes that one would have thought was part of Inspector Gadget's waredrobe were it not for the fact that it was brown. "Alright! Nobody move!" "How'd ya get here so fast, doc?" "We took the express plane. Come, assistant!" The Inspector's assistant, Whatshisname, then popped out of a desk drawer in Bugs' office and ran up to the Inspector. "Yes Inspector?" "Assistant! We have a crime to investigate..." Then the Inspector used slight of hand to reveal a magnifying glass, and held it really close to a conveniently placed camera. "...and I suspect...a government conspiracy!" *DUM DA DUM DUM!* "Where'd that come from, Inspector?" "I don't know, Whatshisname. But I suspect...a government conspiracy!" *DUM DA DUM DUM!* "Doc, is dat really necessary?" "Only if you're in my line of work. Now, what's the problem?" "SOMEBODY STOLE MY BOOK!" Bugs then lowered the volume, seeing as the Inspector and his Assistant were now pancakes against the wall. "I mean, somebody stole my book." "What was the book?" "A physics book." "What kind of physics book?" "A cartoon physics book." "What kind of cartoon physics book?" "A new one...HEY, CUT THAT OUT!" Again, two pancakes were on the wall. Now Lola came up to see what was going on. "Bugs, why did you throw two pancakes at the wall?" Suddenly, the pancakes reverted to their original forms as the Inspector and his Assistant and ran up to Lola. "That, my dear lady, is an insult! Whatshisname, I'm going to question this lady! Write down everything we say!" And so the Inspector goes off into a lengthy but rapidly-spoken interrogation of Lola, all while Whatshisname wrote down everything, breaking his pencils and sharpening them. "Are you sure that is all you remember, Lola?" "I'm sure." "Right then! Off we go! Come assistant!" But the assistant was apparently no more. A huge pile of pencil shavings stood where the assistant was. "Come on out of there, we've got to go!" Now Bugs came by. "Say, Doc?" "Hmm? What is it, civilian?" "I noticed you look a bit like Mr. A of the IRS. He wouldn't happen to be your broder, would he?" "Yes. But I'm trying to find out why...and I suspect...a government conspiracy!" *DUM DA DUM DUM!* "Oh, DO shut up! As if twice wasn't enough!" *SCREECH!* "Right. Come, assistant!" Soon, the Inspector and his assistant went to the bathroom. The Inspector flushed himself down the toilet while Whatshisname shot up through the showerhead. "Sheesh...ya tink de'd stop coming by here by now." "They're certainly nutty. Does it run in the family?" "Broder, you'd better believe it." I HEARD THAT!! "Sorry!" Buncha communists... --- It was about 8:00 in the morning when Bugs got to his office. He looked outside and saw the rush of students. He noted the characters that didn't quite fit in, like Marty Martan and Ramona Rabbit. There was also Lola's three cousins, Nigel, Lionel, and Lizbeth. Lionel was with Miranda Mink (which, from what I've seen, is of no relation to Minerva Mink), while Nigel was with the self-proclaimed nudist RuBarb. Some of the relationships he saw would completely break steryotypes if not for the fact they were all toons. He then was looking through the papers. Among them was included a statement about a new teacher coming into the faculty. But he wasn't from Acme Acres. He was from somewhere entirely different. Bugs wasn't sure about hiring this guy, so he decided to wait on it. A year seemed best, in this case. But he wasn't too sure about his Lola...though she'd been teaching for about four years now, he had the feeling that she was about to get some new challenge... --- Perched on the roof of the Looniversity Gymnasium (which had added a glass skylight about a month before) was Homicide. He held his gun and telescoped his eye toward Lola. He wasn't sure if it'd be a good idea to assassinate her while she was giving P.E. Lessons. But, as Homicide always said, 'whatever works.' He aimed his gun and cocked the hammer. He then pulled the trigger to test it, as he wasn't sure what weapon would be best for the job. He looked through his choices, then chose. "Kilowatt, silenced auto-fire." Kilowatt (Homicide's computerized gun) calibrated itself to his specifications. Satisfied that it would be more or less discreet, he aimed once more at Lola. And then, trouble. A second Lola appeared out of nowhere into the gym. "What in the name of Liandri?" Homicide took down his gun, then looked at the two Lolas. Something wasn't right. One was shorter than the other. And did Lola have pink fur? "Who is that, some damned 'Mini-me' imitator?" "Don't you believe it, Homicide." Homicide looked up to see Dr. Evil in his evil suit, with his evil (and incredibly tacky) face. "Dr. Evil, if you don't mind, I must ask you to leave." "What, and miss the opportunity to conquer this dimension?" "Dr. Evil, bug off!" "I WILL NOT TOLERATE YOUR INSOLENCE!" It was at this moment that a two-ton anvil flew by. Only Dr. Evil's shoes remained after the fly by. "Saved by an anvil...this IS a weird place!" Homicide aimed his gun again, but this time he couldn't see anyone inside. Dr. Evil had bungled things once again, but not just for himself. "Arrgh..." Homicide didn't notice that a tan blur and a pink blur shot through the gym while he was cursing every single relation of Dr. Evil. To Be Continued... *** Never judge a story by it's copyrights. ;-) Anyway, this is probably one of them lighter chapters in this story. There's also a prequel of sorts that may come along at some point, but don't call me, I'll call YOU about it, green?