My pathetic attempt at a fan fict By Floyd Yancey (fyancey@wsp1.wspice.com) All is calm.... untill CAPTAIN! The warp core is going to breach in two minutes!! What's a warp core? Where the !@$#%!!! am I!?!?! Your the captain of the Starship enterprise, The flagship of the federation. We are on a diplomatic mission to the cardassian homeworld. We are in orbit now. CAPTAIN! The warp core is going to breach in 1 minute 50 seconds!!! Where are all the !@#!#$ blinking lights!?! There are always supposed to be lights! What happened!?! The light bulb is burned out captain. WELL FIX IT!!! We don't know how sir, They didn't teach us that in starfleet. Buster Bunny rolls his eyes, Neelix chases after them! Aren't there supposed to be sounds too? I spilled Arnickvarian stew on the speaker last night. It doesn't work! CAPTAIN!!! BREACH in 1 minute 20 seconds!!! Scotty! Do something! Aye aye captain! Right Away! Scotty exits the bridge quickly! Captain, Mr. Scott just left Docking bay 4 in a runabout. uh oh... Is there an owners manual to this thing? Where's the glove compartment!?!? Think bunny! Think... How can you take advantage of this situation... Captain kirk would have.. Starts to cry! Are the cardassians our friends? No. You must do something quickly captain! Time is running out! Ok... I've got it. Arm all photon torpedoes! Set our phazers on overload! Helmsman, Head toward their capital at warp 10! Dump our Antimatter waste now! Release all our chemical weapons! Drop a cheeseburger into the warp core! That would destroy us and take out 4/5ths of the planet. The nuclear and chemical waste would kill everybody else. Uhmmm Torpedoes armed! Waste dropped! Warp 10! Ready to release cheeseburger! Too late... Uhmmmm, Bye I'm outta here 45 seconds to core breach! But your the captain! What will we do if you leave!? points in the general direction of all the crewmembers...Your captain now! The captain must go down with the ship! Todays lesson: Star trek and toons don't mix!