Introduction: In order for this story to make sense, one thing has to be kept in mind: Fifi
is a huge star well beyond just being on TTA. In this story she is an international star
with very high popularity stretch well beyond just cartoon fans.

The Sides of Fame
By Dark Helmet
darkhelmet47@hotmail.com

6:00 AM Friday

	"Hurry up Hamtone!" Fifi shouted as she waited in his living room impatiently.
Just as she said that, Hamton started down the stairs with five suitcases barely staying
in his hands. He was struggling to make it down the stairs with all of the luggage, and
on the second-last step tripped and did a face plant. Fifi walked over and helped him
up.
	As he arrived on his feet again, Fifi wrapped her arms around him and gave him
a short kiss. She then picked up a few of the bags and started out while Hamton carried
the rest. The two threw the items in the back of the large red van that was pulled up in
front of Hamton's home. Hamton piled his bags on top of Fifi's, which were already
loaded in. He then got in the back and sat down next to her. In the front seat, Hamton's
dad was looking back at them.
	"So... are you two excited about this trip?" he asked.
	"Oui. It iz going to be tres magnifique, non Hamtone?"
	"Um... oui? Did I say that right?"
	"Eet does not matter."
	Hamton's father turned back around and started driving away. As they sat in the
car, Hamton and Fifi said very little. They looked at each other and tried to think of
something to say to break this moment of awkward silence. It was only relieved several
minutes later when they pulled into the airport parking lot.
	"You need any help with your bags you two?" Hamton's father asked as the two
Tiny Toons headed for the back of the van to grab their belongings.
	"No... that's fine..." Hamton said as he once again struggled with all the luggage
he had brought. With bags stacked up so high he couldn't even come close to seeing
over them, Hamton began to walk towards the entrance to the airport. Fifi, carrying
considerably fewer bags since Hamton had taken some of hers, ran to catch up with him
and help lead him.

	"Attention passengers. Please make sure you are buckled in and your seat is in
the proper upright position for takeoff," the tall female flight attendant and the front of
the plane instructed. The two toons held hands as the plane ascended into the sky. They
weren't even sure the name of the place they were headed for. This wasn't exactly a
vacation - actually, Warner Bros. as a promotional trip had set up this trip. Fifi knew
full well that while she was there, she would have to make appearances, speeches, sign
autographs and do everything else that was expected of her. This was a small price to
pay considering it was a free vacation, and somewhere in there she would actually get
to spend some time with Hamton. She had been told if this trip went well, there might
be more like this in the future. She sat back and tried to picture all she would have to
do. She also hoped that at least the trip there wouldn't be interrupted by somebody else
on the plane wanting to spend a lot of time talking to her - other than Hamton, of course
- or some irritating fan boy.
	After only a few minutes in the air, both Hamton and Fifi were just about ready
to fall asleep. The preparations they had been forced to make over the past few days
had been exhausting, and both were enjoying this chance to relax before Fifi's
obligations once they landed. Just as both started to drift off, a complete stranger
walked up to them.
	"Wow! Aren't you..." he started.
	"Oui."
	"Oh, wow! I have like a million questions I need to ask you!" the man, who
appeared to be in his twenties, said.
	"Sorry, but, um... she really can't right now..." Hamton said nervously.
	"Oh? And who are you?" Hamton just sat silently and appeared insulted.
	"I can't talk zat much right now, but let me give vous something to remember
moi by," Fifi said. She then pointed her tail right at him and sprayed a little.
	"Ow wow! Fifi LaFume just sprayed me! Wait until the guys here this!" The
man shouted excitedly. He was then knocked out by the smell. Fifi looked back over at
Hamton and saw that he looked annoyed. "Don't let it bother vous. Ze people also know
ze name Hamton J. Peeg," Fifi assured him.
	"I know..." he answered, not sounding like he believed it. "I just wish we could
go somewhere outside of Acme Acres and get some peace and quiet." Hamton then
leaned back again and put his arm back around Fifi, who was once again drifting off.
Within a few minutes, the two were both asleep.

11:00 AM

	Both toons opened their eyes just as the plane glided into the airport. As they
pulled in, Fifi lifted her head and peered out the window. In the distance, she could see
a few short, light colored buildings and a group of rolling, green hills. There was also
another building in the distance, but before she had a chance to make out what it was,
Hamton placed his hand on her shoulder.
	"Come on Fifi," Hamton said softly. She saw that the other passengers were
filing off the plane, and she stood up and waited for a few more to go by before
inserting herself in the middle and pulling Hamton in as well. Within seconds the two
were lost in a group of passengers. The two stayed close together and out of sight in
this line until they were inside the airport. As they approached the baggage carousel,
two men walked over, with both Fifi and Hamton's luggage in their hands, and started
walking towards an exit, with the two toons following close behind.
	"This iz so exciting," Fifi remarked as she started to move towards the
limousine that awaited the two outside. Hamton nodded in agreement. Just as Fifi
opened the door, a man with a camera turned and looked at Fifi.
	"It's Fifi LaFume!" he shouted. He then started shooting pictures, and the
frightened skunkette covered her face. Within seconds, there was what seemed like fifty
other people there with cameras, each one with their cameras flashing in her face. She
got into the car as fast as possible and they sped away. Even as they drove off, the
picture taking continued.
	"Are you alright?" Hamton asked Fifi.
	"Of course. I am used to zat by now."
	"Well... I should have been able to do something... I hate those guys who won't
leave you alone." Fifi just shrugged, sat back and put her arm around Hamton. Her pig
companion, who had been tense from that photographer barrage, started to loosen up a
little. After another few moments, Hamton finally sat back and just enjoyed the
scenery, which was admittedly unlike anything ever seen in Acme Acres. In this
moment of peace before his girlfriend would once again become the focus of everyone
around them, Hamton thought to himself that this could be a truly wonderful week.

12:30 PM

	The limo pulled right up in front of a tall Hotel. As Fifi and Hamton stepped out
of the limo, they noticed right away the expensive shops and glamorous restaurants that
were just across the street from where they would be staying. The hotel wasn't exactly
cheap, either - from the front entrance there was a red carpet that leads to a lobby that
was full of expensive furniture and fancy decorations. The men who had driven them
there grabbed the luggage and started to bring it inside. Hamton and Fifi approached the
front desk, where a grinning female feline greeted them.
	"Checking in, Madame and monsieur?" she asked, although she did not have
anything close to a French accent.
	"Oui," Fifi replied. The clerk hit a few keys on the computer in front of her, and
after a second she handed over a key card.
	"Here is the key to your room, Madame LaFume and Monsieur Pig. Just sign
here." Without thinking, Fifi took a pen from on the desk and signed the paper.
	"Room?!" Hamton asked, noticing she was only handing over one key card.
"Isn't it supposed to be two rooms?"
	"No, it says right here. One room for you two." Hamton's heart suddenly started
to race and he began to sweat.
	"Oh, calm down Hamtone," Fifi instructed him. "Until zey can get us a second
room this will be fine." Fifi then grabbed the key card, grabbed Hamton's hand and the
two started to head for the elevator.
	"I can't believe I got Fifi LaFume's autograph," the clerk said to herself, ripping
the signature off the bottom of the paper. "Imagine what some fan boy will pay for this
on the Internet." She then put it in her pocket and continued working.

	The two unlocked the door and entered their room. Despite how glamorous the
hotel had looked up to now, the room was actually a little disappointing. Besides a few
chairs, the only piece of furniture was the one bed in the middle of the room. There
were a few tables and beautiful carpeting, but no fireplace or anything like that. As the
two looked it over, Hamton commented," I guess I'll just use the floor to sleep on."
	Both of them began to unpack their belongings when there was a knock at the
door. Fifi opened it to see the two men who had escorted them to the Hotel waiting for
her.
	"Miss LaFume, you should know better than to open a door without checking
who it is first. A star like you could attract all sorts of creeps," one said in a deep,
monotone voice. "The organizers of your visit here want to have a few words with you
about you itinerary. They will meet you down in the dining hall at one-thirty. If at all
possible, wear something that covers up who you are - the last thing we need are a
bunch of admirers bothering you while you're eating."
	"Of course. Fans are ze last thing we want on a publicity trip," Fifi answered
sarcastically. She then closed the door and sat down on the bed, where Hamton walked
over and moved right next to her. Fifi explained where they had to go for lunch before
ducking into the bathroom to start preparing to look her best for the meeting.

1:30 PM

	Fifi, with a large hat and a pair of sunglasses on, walked into the dining room
with Hamton, who changed into something a little more formal than his usual
suspenders, by her side. As she looked across the door, she noticed a man in a suit with
messy blonde hair. As soon as he looked back at her, he raised his hand a little, and
with that Fifi knew this was the event organizer she had spoken to in the weeks leading
up to this trip. She walked over to the table, and immediately noticed there was only
one chair there.
	"I am sorry," the man at the table said. "I had no idea that you were going to
have a... guest with you." Fifi's face turned down and was quickly turning red. "Don't
worry. We'll just bring another chair over, or he could go back upstairs and use room
service. Whatever he wants." As he was saying this, he didn't once even look at
Hamton. Fifi grabbed a chair from an empty table nearby and pulled it up right next to
hers, and the two of them sat down. "I'm sorry Fifi. You just never mentioned you
would be bringing anybody with you on this trip."
	"I most certainly did monsieur!" she protested.
	"Well, there must have been a breakdown in communication. It's no big
problem." He then turned to Hamton. "Hello. You can just call me Shelton. And you
are?" Fifi started to reach her hands back to move her tail into firing position, but
Hamton stopped her. "What? Did I say something wrong?"
	"Have vous not ever seen ze show? Hamtone is one of ze main characters! Sacre
bleu!"
	"I am really very sorry," Shelton said politely. "To be honest with you two, I am
not a big cartoon fan. Actually, I have never really sat down and watched Tiny Toon
Adventures. Sure, I know a few things about it - Buster and Babs, the baby Plucky bits,
and of course, I know about Fifi. Everybody knows about Fifi. But, beyond that, I don't
have a clue." Fifi started to calm down a little, and Hamton at least didn't look very
offended. Before Shelton said anything more, a waiter walked over. "I have asked the
cook to prepare a special French meal for you, Fifi. Do you like escargot?"
	"Ah do not know. I've never had eet," Fifi explained.
	"Oh. Well, I am sure you will love it. Now, do you drink wine with your
meals?"
	"Monsieur! I ahm only sixteen years old," Fifi pointed out.
	"Sorry. Like I said, I'm shooting in the dark here." He then turned to the waiter.
"Um, garcon. Yes, get the gentleman here something to eat and get the special order
ready. The cook knows what I'm talking about." The waiter nodded and walked away.
Shelton then turned back to Fifi. "So, are you ready to get down to business?"
	"Yes, let's get zips over with," Fifi said with her voice obviously showing that
she is still annoyed.
	"Great. A hard working attitude. I like that," Shelton remarked. "Now, the first
thing we need you to do here is to appear at the Warner Bros. store today. You know,
signing merchandise and really trying to get people to buy anything with your face on
it. And believe me, the Warner Bros. store is overflowing with Fifi LaFume
merchandise. They'll be getting a huge shipment tonight and when it goes on sale the
hundreds of rabid Fifi fans will make a huge discovery - that you're waiting in the store.
Now, don't worry - they'll be plenty of security there so they can't get too close to you.
Any questions so far? Good. That covers us until tomorrow when you make an
appearance at a couple of events around town - the opening of a new clothing store and
a rather large concert. The really big stuff doesn't happen for a couple of days, but don't
worry - we'll send over a list of all that stuff."
	By this point, Fifi had tuned him out completely and was just nodding in
agreement with what he was saying. Hamton was occupying himself with the bread
sticks on the table. Just as Fifi thought she was going to drift off, the waiter came with
the food. Fifi was able to stop her head from dropping just in time for it to not land in
the plate of snails before her.

2:15 PM

	"Well, that was a wonderful meal. I'll see you tonight at the Warner Bros. Store,
Fifi." Shelton then stood up from the table and extended his hand to Fifi, who
reluctantly extended her arm and shook his hand. He then walked off while Hamton and
Fifi continued to sit. Shelton walked across the dining hall where a male skunk in a
similar suit to his own was standing.
	"So how did that work out?" the skunk asked.
	"Fine. She hasn't objected to anything so far. I'm only worried about her
boyfriend hanging around all the time - what kind of object of every teenage male's
affection can she be if she always has a companion around her?"
	"Relax. I have it all worked out."

6:00 PM

	Hamton emerged out of the bathroom of their hotel room now wearing a slightly
wrinkled and uneven suit. Fifi chuckled a little before walking over and straightening it
up a little. She then popped into the bathroom herself with a red dress slung over her
arm, preparing to have a shower.
	"Don't you think it's strange we have to dress up this much just so you can sign
some autographs?" Hamton asked.
	"It iz a little strange, but zey did say we must dress like zis, even just for zis."
Just as she finished saying that, there was a knock at the door. "Sacre bleu! It iz
probably Shelton again."
	"Yeah. I guess I'll go get eet... I mean it," Hamton said. He walked over, opened
the door and saw standing before him a tall, red-furred, clothless skunkette with large,
blue eyes. "Um... yes?" Hamton asked with his voice sounding a little more nervous
than before.
	"Well, I heard that some big star was staying in this hotel room, but I had no
idea it would be Tiny Toon Adventures star Hamton J. Pig," the skunkette said. She
then stepped a little closer to him and put her hand on his chest. "You don't mind if I
come in, do ya cutie?" Hamton was no sweating bullets, and he tried to pull himself
back a little. She stepped with him. As they kept moving backwards, Hamton tripped
and landed on the bed. Just as she moved in to follow him, he stood up and ran around
her.
	"Can you please excuse me for a second?" Hamton said with his voice starting
to crack. He then walked over to the bathroom door and opened it a crack and looked
inside at his girlfriend. As his eye poked through the crack, Fifi spotted it.
	"Hamton, what are vous doing?"
	"Um nothing... I just thought I left my... my hairbrush in there," he said,
realizing half a second later how little sense that made. "Who iz at ze door?"
	"I don't know. A fan, I guess. But I think she's just about to leave," Hamton
stated.
	"Says who?" the girl chimed in from the bed.
	"Leave ze room right now!" Fifi ordered from behind the bathroom door.
	"Let's see what Hamton has to say about that," she answered. Hamton took a
look at the red skunkette, but then he imagined his lovely purple skunkette who was
right now making herself her most beautiful not for the fans or for the promoters or
anything else, but for him. Hamton turned to the intruder with an angry expression on
his face and pointed to the door.
	"Leave," he commanded her. The girl looked at him as if he couldn't be serious.
"L... Leave," he said again, his voice wavering only a little. Looking severely offended,
the girl got up and walked out, slamming the door behind her. Hamton sat down on the
bed and started trying to catch his breath and waiting for his heart to stop beating a
million times a minute. Fifi emerged a couple of seconds later in a long red dress with
her hair up more than usual and a little water still dripping off.
	"What do vous theenk?" Fifi asked.
	"Wow!" Hamton exclaimed. He then stood up and walked over without even
blinking once and held her hand, and the two walked out the door of their hotel room.

7:30 PM

	Inside the WB store, Fifi and Hamton sat on a raised platform in the center, with
security standing around them. The doors were locked and there was a screen pulled
over the front entrance so that the hundreds of eager fans waiting to get the newest Fifi
items couldn't see what was going on inside yet. The purple skunkette could hear the
crowd outside, which was getting louder by the minute, shouting," We love Fifi!" over
and over again. Finally, the security guard standing on the door pressed the button, and
the mechanical door started to rise with a loud sound. Fifi took a very deep breath as
she watched the door come up and the waves of fans rush in.
	Without even looking up, the obsessive followers of Fifi started grabbing and
pushing in an attempt to get to the giant wall of merchandise enshrining the purple
skunkette of Tiny Toons fame. Not a single one looked over to the center of the store
until Fifi walked up to the microphone on the stage and cleared her throat into it. As
soon as she did that, the whole place turned and looked. Each fan boy became frozen in
his tracks at the sight of their idol. After a few seconds of creepy silent, at least ten
fainted, many began to drool and some screamed. Fifi sat back down and the security
prepared for what might happen.
	All at once they began to shout questions up to her as well as a number of
different marriage proposals.
	"Can everybody please calm down?" the store manager asked into the mic. "Ms.
LaFume will be happy to answer your questions. As long as they're tasteful. And also,
if you're with a tabloid, just leave now please. Everybody else, put your hand up if you
have a question for her." Fifi smiled at the manager in gratitude for him calming the
crowd down. Each hand in the group went up. Fifi slowly stood up and walked to the
microphone to prepare to speak. Just as she walked up, Shelton walked over and
handed her a cue card.
	"Bonjour," Fifi said. She then looked down at the card and began to read.
"Before I answer ze questions from ze wonderful audience, I just want to..." she started.
She then looked over at Shelton with a puzzled look, but he motioned for her to keep
reading. "I want to remind vous that zere iz great merchandise here, and not just ze new
Fifi items. Zere are lots of other theengs vous are sure to love, so check out everything
is zis Warner Bros. store, and kids, make sure to ask your parents until zey say oui... er,
yes..." Fifi read unenthusiastically. Both the manager and Shelton gave her a sign of
approval when she turned back to flash them a look of disgust. "Of all ze stupid things I
have ever had to read in public..." Fifi muttered to herself. She then prepared to answer
the questions from the audience.
	The questioning went on for nearly three hours. There were more marriage
proposals, date requests, questions about if she was really happy with Hamton, and in
there somewhere there were actually some inquires about Tiny Toons and something
about Fifi not related to the males in the audience's special fondness for her. Finally,
when the last question was asked, Fifi sat back for a second and took a drink of water.
Hamton put her arm around her as they watched Shelton approach the mic.
	"Ms. LaFume will be signing autographs. For only ten dollars she will sign
whatever merchandise you bring up, so long as you bought in this store." Fifi, having
heard nothing of this, looked very surprised. The fans clamored to pick up even more
Fifi items as Fifi's face started turning red. Hamton tried to calm her down, although he
himself wasn't too happy about hearing this either. As the fans continued to clamor for
more items for her to sign, Fifi stood up and walked down the back of the stage and out
the emergency exit at the rear of the store with Hamton following close behind.
	"Are you going back in Fifi?" he asked as soon as the two were outside.
	"No. I will not make zese people pay for mah signature," Fifi declared.
	"Well, that's great Fifi, but what about the fans in there?"
	"Let Shelton theenk of something."
	As Fifi paused, Hamton poked his head back in the emergency exit to see if the
people realized Fifi had ducked out, but to his surprise sitting on the stage was Fifi, or a
dead ringer for her anyway. He tried to get a good look to see if it was a person in a suit
or another purple skunk, but it was dark and his angle wasn't good. He then closed the
door and opened his mouth to tell Fifi what he had just seen, but then he stopped,
figuring that for tonight Fifi had enough to be mad about.
	"Do you just want to go back to the Hotel?" Hamton asked Fifi.
	"Oui." The two started to walk away, but after only a few steps Fifi fell down.
On the cold, cement ground she could see a dark rabbit's foot sticking out. She looked
up and saw the rabbit that had just tripped her walking away.
	"Merci boceaoup!" Fifi shouted at the rabbit as he walked away. He said
nothing back, and Hamton helped her up. "Ze lest he could have done was help moi up!
Sacre Bleu!"
	"Don't worry about people like that Fifi," Hamton told her. "That's something
you always tell me." Fifi smiled a little and the two started to walk back towards the
hotel, which was just further down the same center street in this town.

2:00 AM

	Hamton was still lying awake on the floor, concerned because for the last two
hours since they had tried to go to sleep, he had seen Fifi tossing and turning and
desperately trying to relax only to not be able to sleep or even lie still.
	"Gee Fifi, I've never seen you do this before," Hamton stated. "Are you sure
you're alright?"
	"What Shelton did iz still bothering moi," Fifi answered. "Zat, and ze rude
rabbit that tripped me."
	"I guess you just have to try not to think about it right now," Hamton suggested.
	"Does zat ever work for you?"
	"Well, no."
	Without saying anything else, Fifi returned to her tossing and turning, and
Hamton sandwiched his head between two pillows trying to get some sleep himself.

Saturday - 7:30 AM

	Fifi had finally fallen asleep after two more hours, but this was now being
interrupted by a knock at the door.
	"Don't worry Fifi - I'll get it," Hamton told her. He then walked over to the door
and saw Shelton standing on the other side.
	"Yeah, hi Hambone. Where's our star?"
	"Trying to sleep."
	"Sleep? She can't sleep this late." He then walked over to her bed. "Time to get
up, Fifi. You have another big day in front of you."
	"She's only had a couple of hours of sleep," Hamton pointed out.
	"Caffeine can fix that," Shelton said as he pulled out a cup of coffee he had with
him. "Now, Fifi, you really have to wake up."
	Fifi slowly opened her eyes and saw the blurry images of Hamton and Shelton
standing before her. "Go away!" she shouted.
	"Come on Fifi. Here, have some coffee. That should wake you right up."
	Fifi took the cup of coffee, removed the lid, stuck her tail near the hot liquid,
and released a subtle scent into it while Shelton was turned away. She then handed I
back. "Zat iz alright. Vous can have it." Shelton took a sip of the coffee, and his face
turned green. He bolted for the bathroom and slammed the door. Some terrible sounds
came from in there for the next minute, and then he emerged.
	"Looks like I have to get that little caf‚ shut down later," Shelton said. "Now,
can we please talk about what happened at the store last night?" He then stared at
Hamton and said," Alone? Listen, Fifi's boyfriend, there is an all-you-can eat buffet in
the dining hall. Even you should be able to fill up on that. Now please go." Hamton
walked out of the room without saying a word. It was now just Shelton and a very
angry Fifi. "Okay, I know you were mad, but walking out on a publicity event like that
is not the answer. I am sorry for trying to charge for your autograph and I know you
hate that, but there are some things we have to do, even if we don't want to. Do you
understand?"
	"I understand zat vous are trying to make me say theengs that I do not want to
and act like somebody ah am not."
	"I can respect that. We'll try and change a few things to make it work. Now, you
and Hamton really can't be staying up that late no matter what you're doing. You could
ruin a whole day here. Please, Fifi, act more responsibly."
	"What are vous talking about? Get out of my room already!"
	"Okay. Here's your schedule for the day. I will meet you in the lobby in twenty
minutes and the limo will pick us up for your tour of TV appearances, followed by a
visit to a local acting company for an inspirational speech."
	"I will probably be late. I want to have breakfast in ze dining hall with
Hamtone."
	"Fifi, don't. I can have them take you somewhere good. The food here is just
awful, but your boyfriend doesn't look like he's got the most discriminating taste.
Anyway, I'll meet you down in the lobby." Shelton then walked out and the frustrated
skunk kicked a table. She had been there less than a day and she was already counting
down the days until she could finally leave.

8:30 AM

	Hamton, having just polished off several courses of the free breakfast, and Fifi,
who decided against eating in the hotel after all, walked into the lobby where Shelton
stood waiting for them.
	"Hamton, so nice that you're joining us for breakfast," Shelton said with forced
sincerity. "So Fifi, my star, are you ready to go?" Fifi sighed and walked out the door
with Hamton's arm locked tight around hers. Shelton followed them to the curb where
there was a limo waiting for them. After the two Tiny Toons stepped in, Shelton forced
himself right between the couple, and the car took off. Fifi and Hamton exchanged
irritate looks after being separated, but Shelton ignored the two completely. After a few
silent, uncomfortable minutes, the car stopped right outside a large building down the
street from their hotel. Shelton led the two inside.
	"So, what does the star think?" Shelton asked as Fifi surveyed the dining room.
It was still relatively early, but the place was full. There were sculptures and paintings
all around the edge and candles on each table, and faint classical music playing in the
background. Before Fifi answered Shelton, a waiter approached the party and led them
to a table in the back corner.
	"This is one place you don't have to worry about being harassed by your legions
of fans, Ms. LaFume," Shelton said. "After all, everybody you see before you is one of
the upper class of the area. They are all just as rich and almost as famous as you.
	"Rich? Ah am not rich," Fifi protested. "Ah live in an old Cadillac." Shelton
stared at her for a second and then forced himself to chuckle a little.
	"Very funny, Fifi. Somehow I don't think big stars live in old cars. Now, just
look at your menu and order anything you want Fifi. Money is no object." Shelton then
looked over at Hamton. "Hamton, I believe you've had your fill this morning." Hamton
looked annoyed at the comment, but held his tongue. As Fifi stared into her menu, she
didn't notice that somebody had just approached their table. Shelton, however, did. He
looked up and smiled.
	"Well this is an honor," he said. As Fifi heard him say this, she looked up.
Standing next to their table was another purple skunkette, much older than Fifi, wearing
a long white dress, with larger hair that was tied back, and diamonds both around her
neck and hanging from her ears.
	"So this is the wonderful star you have told me so much about. Ms. LaFume,
this is truly a pleasure." The older skunkette extended her hand. A slightly confused Fifi
returned the gesture and the two shook. The most startling thing Fifi found right now
about the female skunk was a complete lack of a French accent. "My name is Madam
Plumette. Now, I can't stay long, but you simply must come by my estate. Every
celebrity that comes here always stops by my place for dinner and to meet other people
of the same stature. Do you think you will get the chance, Ms. LaFume?"
	"Of course she will!" Shelton shouted.
	"Fifi?" she asked again, completely ignoring him.
	"Oui," she said after another second of hesitation. "But only if Hamtone is
invited."
	"Why, of course. Another star of your show would be most welcome." Mme.
Plumette smiled and handed Fifi a card with her address on it, and then walked back to
her own table. Fifi turned to Shelton.
	"What was zat?" she asked.
	"Oh, I'm sure you'll find out when you get there. Really, I can't even begin to
explain that to you."

11:00 AM

	"And welcome to Radio Celebrity Chatter. We are here talking with one of the
biggest, and I do mean biggest celebrities in the entire world right now, Ms. Fifi
LaFume. Fifi, it's great to have you on the show," the radio personality said into the
mic. Sitting across from him in the studio was Fifi, who had never done a radio show
before.
	"It iz a pleasure to be here," Fifi said, trying to force some sincerity in her voice.
	"Alright, let me ask you the first question here - why are you here, exactly? I
mean, I don't want to sound rude or anything, but when one of the biggest stars in the
world just drops into your town, you've got to think there might be a reason."
	"Well, we ahre here to spread ze word about ze show, to talk to ze fans, and to
give ze fans a chance to have a say in zis."
	"We?"
	"Hamtone is here as well."
	"Yeah... fascinating... anyway, what do you think of our humble little place so
far?"
	"To be honest with vous..." she started out before seeing Shelton's desperate
gestures outside the booth window, and realizing that this meant give the answer that
she was supposed to or he would probably drop dead, Fifi finished with," it iz a great
place. Ze people have been excellent, and the scenery is quite beautiful." The two
continued to talk with a few more generic questions before Fifi got up, shook the radio
host's hand and walked out. Shelton walked up to her immediately.
	"Good show. You scared me there a couple of times, but in the end you did it
just right. Your first TV interview isn't until this evening, so you can go back to the
hotel and rest until then. Oh, and Hamton's waiting outside. I guess one of the station
managers told him he had to wait for you out there." Fifi looked at him skeptically, and
then started for the exit.
	Outside, Hamton was standing by the side of the road. He was just standing,
whistling, and waiting for Fifi to return when he heard footsteps behind him. The
teenage pig turned around and saw a familiar purple skunk emerging from the building.
	"Oh, Fifi, you're done already?" Hamton asked.
	"But of course," the skunk replied in a voice that didn't sound quite right.
Hamton looked at her strangely for a second before asking her a question.
	"Are you feeling okay?"
	"Fine. It is... iz nothing." She then looked over towards the door. "Can you...
vous hold on a second?" she than ran quickly into the door. Seconds later, Fifi walked
out.
	"What were you doing?" Hamton asked as his girlfriend approached.
	"Hamtone, I was doing a radio interview," Fifi replied, her voice sounding
normal again. Hamton, although finding this strange, said nothing and the two walked
away. As they turned the corner towards the waiting car, they spotted a purple rabbit in
a black sweatshirt leaning up against the wall with a cigarette dangling from his mouth.
His ears drooped to the sides, and between them were a few short, black dreadlocks.
	"Now that was stimulating radio," he said sarcastically. Fifi looked at him and
frowned. There was something strangely familiar about him.
	"Do I know vous from somewhere?"
	"I'll give you two really obvious hints. Face plant. Last night." Fifi thought for a
second and remembered tripping over his foot and landing on the cement only to have
him walk away without saying anything or offering his assistance. "Seriously though,
those answers could have been given by a machine."
	"And who are vous?"
	"Norton. And, as far as last names go, who cares? I'm a rabbit, so my choices
are rabbit or bunny. How creative," he commented as he puffed on his cigarette again.
"And here I thought they'd dragged out some interesting personality this time and not
just another mouthpiece of public - pleasing clich‚s." Norton then threw his cigarette to
the ground and started to walk away. "See ya around."
	"I'm sorry, I should have stopped him from talking to you like that," Hamton
said.
	"Do not worry, Hamtone. I'll let him know what I theenk next time," Fifi
answered. The two then climbed in the car and were taken away.

7:30 PM

	"Are you hungry at all?" Hamton asked as the two were dropped off in front of
their hotel room. Fifi has just done two consecutive television interviews, and both had
experienced some extreme technical difficulties, making it take much longer than it
should have.
	"Ah just want some coffee and to relax for a little while," Fifi answered.
	"So, do you want to go back up to the room then?"
	"No. Shelton will probably come up and bother moi again."
	"Well, what about that little diner down the street?" Hamton suggested. Fifi
agreed with the suggestion, and the two walked for two minutes before reaching it. Fifi
didn't even bother covering up her face, figuring that in the fading daylight and the
small booths of this place they were headed to that nobody would recognize her, or the
few that do might have the good taste to leave her alone. She was right - the streets
were almost empty anyway, and although she got a few stares, nobody said anything,
and the two made it inside the diner and into a small, dark booth at the back. To Fifi's
right, she could see the few people sitting at the front counter. One of the people just
happened to have two floppy purple ears and short dreadlocks, and there was a steady
stream of smoking coming out of his mouth.
	"Look who it iz," Fifi said as she spotted him. "It's, how you say, ze rude lapin."
Fifi then hesitated for a second and said," excuse moi for a second, Hamtone." She then
got up and walked over to the front counter and stood right next to Norton.
	"Hey, look. It's our big star," commented Norton as he glanced to his side before
turning his attention back to the cup of black coffee sitting in front of him. "So, what
brings you to our humble establishment?"
	"Why is eet that I keep seeing vous everywhere?!"
	"Maybe you're just going to all the wrong places. Actually, scratch that. Maybe
Shelton is pushing you into all the wrong places."
	"Vous know him?"
	"He's a freakin' celebrity around here," Norton stated. "Really, I think he's a
jerk. But, that's just me. Do you have enough thought left to form an opinion of him, or
has not having to think at all dissolved your brain?"
	"I don't know what vous are talking about, but Shelton iz not doing what vous
are saying," Fifi said. "And he iz a, how you say, total jerk!"
	"Well, I'm impressed. Finally somebody around him who thinks for herself.
Well, maybe you have some hope after all. I'll see ya around." Norton then finished off
his cup, threw his cigarette to the ground and walked out of the caf‚. Fifi sat down in
Norton's seat and sat by herself for a moment.
	"I ahm back," a purple skunkette said as she sat down in front of Hamton.
	"So, Fifi what did you sat to him?" Hamton asked.
	"Pardon moi?"
	"Norton, Fifi. You just got up to talk to him." This skunk turned her head
looking for the person Hamton was referring to, but she couldn't find him.
	"Hamton, I don't know what y... vous are talking about. Do vous seem him in
here right now?"
	"Well, no..."
	"Maybe vous needs to clear your head. Let's got a walk," she suggested. She
stood up and headed for the door with Hamton following close behind. Fifi didn't notice
as the two walked out the door. Her face was almost buried in the table as she was
suddenly hit by a wave of fatigue, mostly from not sleeping the night before.
	Hamton and the skunkette started walking down the street. Hamton didn't notice
that they walked by Shelton, who gave the skunkette thumbs up as she walked by.
When the two had walked out of sight, Shelton popped out of the alley he was waiting
in and he walked into the caf‚, where he saw Fifi starting to nod off on the table.
	"Hey Fifi! Wake up!" Shelton called to her. Fifi pulled her head off the table
and looked over at him, and then she put her face back down. "Hey, come on, what're
you doing in a place like this?"
	"Trying to get some peace before I have to go and make another speech or
sometheeng like zat."
	"Fifi, I know it's kind of annoying, but don't worry. I'm here to help you get
comfortable with appearances and everything else. So, just relax and don't be afraid to
ask me for advice. And I'll tell ya, I don't think this is a place you should be in. You
never know what kind of lowlifes you might find here."
	"Vous can say zat again."
	"Well, I just saw Hamton leave, so you really don't have a good reason to stay
here. Now, get up. You don't have anything else to do until your tour of the theater
tomorrow and the party that night. Just go back to your hotel and get some sleep." Fifi
didn't answer - she instead just slowly pulled herself up and walked out without even
looking at Shelton. She was too tired right now to worry where Hamton could be.
Instead, she just slowly walked back by herself with Shelton following her from a
distance.

9:30 PM

	"Hamtone, could vous possibly go get moi a cup of cappuccino from zat place
down ze street?" the skunkette that was with Hamton asked him as they stood outside
the hotel.
	"Well, sure Fifi, but can't you get one in the hotel?"
	"It iz, how you say, disgusting."
	"Oh, well okay. I can go."
	"Excellent. I will meet vous up in ze room when you get back."
	Hamton took off down the street while this skunk went inside and sat down in
the lobby. Within seconds, Shelton walked up and sat down next to her.
	"How's it going Lucca?"
	"Not very well," the skunkette replied. "I am tired of faking this stupid half-
French, half English garbage and the accent is just killing my throat. Why is it I have to
pretend to be Fifi LaFume again?"
	"Because, fan boys don't want to see Fifi with another guy. They want to see
just her so they can delude themselves into thinking they have a prayer of getting with
her. It's not that complicated. Besides, it's only for a couple of more days. And yes,
Hamton is boring, and I'm sorry you have to put up with that."
	"Oh, I don't know," Lucca replied. "He isn't so bad. He's been the only part
that's even been a little fun."

	Half an hour later, Hamton entered the hotel room and saw Fifi sitting in the
dark. Hamton turned on the lamp to see her sitting on the end of the bed. He slowly
walked up and handed over the coffee in his hand. "Here you go, Fifi," he said.
	"Thanks, but vous didn't have to."
	"Then, why did you ask?" Hamton asked. Fifi ignored the comment and took a
sip of the coffee in front of her. "I got you caffeine free, because I thought coffee might
stop you from getting to sleep again."
	"Thank vous, Hamtone," she said softly. She then set the hot beverage down on
the small table next to her and fell back with her head landing on the pillow. "Oh, I'm
just so tired, Hamtone, but I can't sleep."
	"Do you know why?"
	Fifi paused for a second. "It iz just... sometheeng about zis place. Vous have
been acting strangely, there iz Shelton who will not stop bothering moi, and I cannot
walk down ze street without being asked for an autograph, and all of zat iz bothering
moi." Hamton sat down next to her and put his arm around her.
	"I know," he said in a quiet voice. "It's only for a couple of more days." Fifi
forced a little smile to make Hamton know his comforting her was doing some good.
She then gave him a small peck on the cheek and sat back, trying to fall asleep. Hamton
once again went right to sleep on the patch of floor next to her bed. Long after Hamton
had gone to sleep, Fifi still sat awake trying to figure out if what she said was all that
was bothering her about this place.

6:00 AM - Sunday

	Fifi could see the light poking in from under the curtains in their hotel room,
and she knew that once again another night had passed here and she still wasn't able to
get any sleep. Fifi looked over and saw that Hamton was still sleeping peacefully on the
floor. Fifi quietly got up, grabbed the key and walked out of the room, making sure not
to wake him up. As she walked through the halls, she figured it would be too early to
see anybody who would want her to do something or sign something or anything like
that. For at least the next hour, she expected peace and quiet.
	She traveled in the elevator and through the lobby without interruption. As she
walked outside onto the chilly streets, she couldn't see anybody around. Hoping that it
would be open already, the purple skunkette headed for the caf‚ that she had gone into
the night before. Fortunately for her, it was already open, and almost empty inside.
However, as soon as she stepped in the door she saw the same familiar face she had
already spotted in there once before.
	"Well, you're up early," Norton remarked as she walked in. "What are you doing
wandering the street at six in the morning? And why do you look like you were hit by a
bus?"
	"I haven't been able to sleep ze last two nights," Fifi answered. Although she
had no idea why, Fifi sat down right next to him.
	"Ah, welcome to my world," Norton replied callously. "I sleep once out of
every two or three days."
	"Yes, but I tried to get to sleep. I would bet you're just up all night wandering
around doing... doing whatever it iz you do here."
	"Mm, no. I used to try to sleep, but there's just something about this place that is
so strange it keeps me up at night. As soon as I can figure out what that is, then I might
be able to get some rest." Norton then ordered another cup of coffee and slid it over to
Fifi. "So, I guess tonight is the mandatory big party where the elitists of the town gather
to speak with the newest savior of this place."
	"Pardon moi?" Fifi asked as she sipped from the cup in front of her.
	"I don't want to spoil everything I'm sure you'll be told tonight," Norton said.
"But I will say this - you will no doubt be expected to fix every single problem in this
place just by being here."
	"Problems? Zis seems like a pleasant place to moi," Fifi said.
	"Yeah, I'm sure it does. Tell me, have you been to any place that hasn't been on
Main Street? I know you're hotel is, and that Warner store is, and this place is, and I'm
sure any place that Shelton sends you to is on main street. Am I right?"
	"Well... oui."
	"Then I think it's time you came with me. There is a whole other part to this
place that I'm sure Shelton doesn't want you to know is there."

	Norton led Fifi to the next intersection up the road, and they turned off. Norton
guided the toon skunk down a very long, empty road with no buildings along it - the
only thing to look at was some of the sides of the buildings on main street, and some
trash scattered on the ground. After a few minutes of walking along this, they turned
once again. Fifi stopped for a second to survey where she had just been taken. She
could see several people standing outside of houses with broken windows, and there
were small fires going. The people were shivering form the chill in the air. All of the
houses that she could see had cracks running down the outside, and some didn't have
doors on them.
	"Ugly, isn't it?" Norton asked. Fifi was speechless. The only part she had seen
until now was the well-maintained, classy part of the town. This place was anything but
that. "That one's mine," he said as he pointed to a small house on the corner. "The
power hasn't worked in a week and it's freezing in there."
	"How can zis be?" she asked. "Ze rest of zis place seemed so much..."
	"Richer? Look, there is a very good explanation for this, but that has to wait
until tomorrow. It'll make more sense after you have a long talk with certain people
tonight. Believe me, I've seen enough people come through here on three day tours to
know what happens each and every time to the point where even I know the speech
you'll be given. Make sure you come see me tomorrow. Until then, just remember these
little holes that you see right now before you, and then compare that with the place
you'll be tonight." Norton then walked away and entered the house he had identified
before as his own. Fifi didn't walk back right away - instead, she took a few minutes to
walk around.
	She could plainly see inside many of the houses. There were people inside
shaking from the cold, more small fires being kept up, and people sitting out by the
curb with open instrument cases. These houses seemed to stretch in a straight line as far
as Fifi could see. As she headed back, she looked in the other direction and there still
seemed to be no end to them. Everywhere but main street she peered was just these
rundown places and pathetic-looking people. Finally, with these images burned in her
mind, Fifi headed back for her hotel.

9:00 AM

	"Wake up Hamtone," Fifi said as she nudged him on the shoulder. The sleeping
pig looked up and saw Fifi standing over him with a tray of food. "I thought zat we
would just eat in here since we don't have to go anywhere until noon."
	"Oh, that sounds great," Hamton remarked. He then stood up and asked," did
you finally get any sleep last night?"
	"Some," she lied. She didn't want Hamton to worry about her. Hamton sat down
next to her on the bed and both started eating off the tray. Hamton picked up the
television remote and turned it to some random station. The volume was off, and the
two didn't care what they were watching, anyway. They were just enjoying this rare
moment of silence. This was short-lived, however. As soon as they started appreciating
the peace, there was a knock at the door. Hamton started to get up to answer it, but Fifi
stopped him. She walked to the door herself. On the other side, she saw another purple
skunkette that looked identical to her.
	"Uh oh," the one on the other side remarked. She then started to inch away
when Fifi grabbed her by the ear.
	"What iz going on here?" Fifi asked as her face started to glow red with anger.
	"Um... I'm an obsessed fan and I wanted to look just like you?" she said. The
way she said it wasn't very convincing.
	"Get out of my hotel room now!" Fifi shouted.
	"Alright, I'm going," she said. Just as she stepped out the door, the imposter
caught a glimpse of Hamton out of the corner of her eye. She blew him a kiss as Fifi
pushed her out the door. Fifi slammed it shut and the other skunkette started to walk
away.
	"What just happened?" Shelton asked as he saw Lucca walking away from the
hotel room.
	"You told me Fifi had left the building and now would be a good time to go get
Hamton so you could drag Fifi out to some extra event," Lucca said. "Maybe you didn't
notice when she walked back in!"
	"Oh, and that was a great cover story you came up with! You know, for a hired
actress you really aren't very good," Shelton commented. "When I say I need you to go
and get that pig away from our star, the star this whole stupid town is depending on, I
want you to do it right. You might just have blown the whole thing."
	"Good! Maybe then I can stop dying my whole body purple!" Lucca shouted.
She then walked past him and onto the elevator at the end of the hall. Shelton kept
walking in the other direction.

1:00 PM

	The trio of Fifi, Hamton and Shelton stepped back into the limo after eating a
substantial lunch. Despite his efforts to make Hamton stay behind, he was there. Right
after the three got in, the limo began heading for the theater, which was about twenty
minutes down Main Street.
	"May I ask vous something?" Fifi asked Shelton.
	"Well, you just did. But it's okay, you can ask another one," Shelton answered.
Before saying it he thought it was funny, but afterwards, not so much.
	"Are we ever going anywhere zat iz not on main street?" Shelton's face became
a little pale.
	"Um... well, it just so happens that everything we really have to do is all along
this road. Why?"
	"I just wanted to see ze rest of ze town."
	"Really, there's nothing to see. Everything I think you would really want to see
is all along good old Main Street here." Fifi stopped asking questions at that point.
Shelton just stared out the window and hoped the subject would never come up again.
Hamton was confused by both of them at this moment. The three sat in silence for the
rest of the trip and only spoke again when the car stopped at its destination.
	Hamton and Fifi stepped out of the car and saw this old, majestic-looking
theater before them. The two sculptures on the outside were already enough to make
this place charming and magnificent. The building looked like it was quite old, judging
from the architecture and art outside. There was a plaque on the bottom of one of the
sculptures.
	"Darryl Plumette," the plaque read. It was dated a hundred years ago. Fifi made
a mental note of it so she would remember to bring it up later when she saw Madame
Plumette, but for the moment she just walked inside the large, old, wooden doors of the
theater with Hamton close behind. Shelton entered right after the pig, and he soon cut
out in front of both of them.
	"Let me show you around the place," Shelton offered. He then started walking
through the lobby the three had entered when they walked through the door. There were
old chairs and tables set up, although most pieces had gathered quite a lot of dust.
"Instead of your usual theater lobby, people used to come up and serve you in these
chairs during intermission or before or after the show. It was really more of an upscale
place than you see today." He then directed the two through a set of wooden double
doors. Through them was the inside of the theater. There appeared to be a couple of
thousand seats, all of which had also gathered dust, and the material coverings on the
outside looked rather old and faded. Shelton walked them down the center aisle, past
the front row of seats and up the small staircase at the end leading up onto the stage.
	"Now, just imagine what it was like when this place was up and running,"
Shelton said.
	"How long as it been closed for?" Hamton asked.
	"Good question Hambone," Shelton said. "It's going on thirty years now. With a
few repairs, this place could once again be the center of this whole town."
	"I'm not sure I understand," Fifi said.
	I'm sure it will all make sense to you after tonight," Shelton assured her.
	It iz funny how many people are telling moi that," Fifi thought to herself as the
three started to head for the backstage area.

8:00 PM

	"Now, you two go inside and have a good time. Try and meet as many people as
you can. Remember, this could be the most important part of your visit," Shelton said
as the car stopped outside the large hilltop estate of Madame Plumette. "I'll be joining
the party in a little while. Now get going." Fifi and Hamton stepped out of the car and
looked up at the magnificent building before them as the driver sped off with Shelton
still in the back seat.
	"Wow, even Monty would be jealous of this place," Hamton remarked. Fifi's
jaw was on the ground. As the two stood, frozen in awe, the front door open and one of
the workers in the house saw the two standing there.
	"Welcome," he said, which lifted the two toons from their trance.
	"Bonjour," Fifi said. The person who answered the door held it open as the two
started to head for the inside. She coiled her arm around Hamton's and the two stepped
into the marvelous house.
	"This iz amazing!" Fifi remarked as she saw the inside. Before her was a room
that looked bigger than the first floor of Acme Loo, with book shelves lining each wall
and literally hundreds of people standing around, drinking wine and discussing
anything imaginable. The expensive clothes they all had made Fifi feel like her short
red dress was inferior. To the side of the room there was a winding staircase. Fifi and
Hamton both found themselves once again being caught in the ambience of this old,
spectacular dwelling when somebody approached them.
	"So glad you could make it," Madame Plumette said as she approached the two.
"I certainly hope you like the place."
	"It iz wonderful," Fifi commented.
	"Well, I'm very glad you think so," she replied sincerely. She then heard
somebody call her name from across the room. "Well, I simply must talk to you later,
Ms. LaFume."
	"Fifi."
	"Yes. So, I'll come by and talk with you later. There is so much I want to ask
you about." She then walked away and Fifi started walking around and admiring the
parts of the room up close. Hamton walked over to the convenient food table and began
sampling items.

	"Excellent. You're a dead ringer for her," Shelton said as Lucca emerged from
the dressing room in the theater. Lucca had the exact same dress on, and the dye that
was turning her purple was right on now.
	"Sacre bleu!" she remarked in a forced French accent as she saw herself in the
mirror. "Guys might love her, but dressing like her is a pain in the..."
	"Lucca, you're being a cartoon character, remember? You can't finish that
sentence."
	"Yet another drawback. I can't wait until she goes home and I don't have to do
this anymore."
	"Well, with any luck, that'll never be happening. Now come on, let's get going
before they start taking pictures for the press there."


9:00 PM

	Fifi had finally broken free of a small gathered crowd that was asking her
endless questions about herself, Acme Acres, and almost anything else. Fifi had just
claimed she was powdering her nose, and that gave her an excuse to go hide on the
other side of the room. For the first time in fifteen minutes she could finally locate
Hamton and she rushed over to him.
	"Oh, there you are Fifi," Hamton said as she ran up. "How's the party going for
you?"
	"Zut alors! Ze people have so many questions!" Fifi exclaimed. She then
grabbed the glass of water out of Hamton's hands and downed it herself. She then gave
him back the empty glass.
	"Well, at least I've had fun," Hamton said. "I didn't even know there were forty-
five different kinds of cheese, but they're all right over there." Just then, Madam
Plumette walked up behind Fifi and tapped her on the shoulder.
	"So, how are you enjoying the party?" she asked.
	"It iz... hectic," Fifi answered.
	"Yes, it can get a little busy can't it? How would you two like to duck away for
a little while?"
	"Oui, definitely," Fifi said. The owner of the house started to walk up the
winding stairs and Fifi followed.
	"I'll be up in a second," Hamton told them as they started to walk away. "I just
found flavor forty-six." He then walked over to the food table as the two skunkettes
ducked away. As he picked up a few blocks of cheese, he looked over and saw a purple
skunkette in a red dress next to him.
	"I thought you went upstairs with Madam Plumette," Hamton said.
	"Oh, well, I decided not to right now," she explained. "You know what? I feel
like... how vous say, dancing."
	"Oh... okay," Hamton said, sounding a little confused since Fifi had not
mentioned anything about dancing the whole night up until now. The purple toon
grabbed his arm and he was pulled into the center of the room. The two slowly swayed
back and forth to the soft music that was filling the room. As they stood together, a man
walked by with a tray of champagne glasses. The skunkette grabbed one and quickly
downed it. Hamton looked shocked at this.
	"Fifi, what are you doing?" he asked.
	"Livening up ze party," she answered. She then continued dancing with him.
Over the course of the next five minutes, she had three more glasses. Hamton noticed
that on the last one a flash went off in the room, and a camera captured it. Finally, the
song ended and the two walked back over to the food table.
	"Hamtone, come with moi while I check sometheeng," the skunkette said. She
then pulled Hamton off into the coatroom with another glass in her hand. As she pushed
him in, she slammed the door shut. "Drink?"
	"Fifi, what's going on with you? You were fine five minutes ago," Hamton said.
She just laughed and powered down the drink.
	"Hamton, we're alone now," she said, now without the accent. Hamton looked at
her arm for a second, and noticed a spot of red fur. He then looked back up at her.
	"You're not Fifi!" Hamton yelled. "Who are you?"
	"It doesn't matter who I am," she declared. "Unlike Fifi, I'm not going to take
off on you every five minutes for some photo shoot or public appearance, and I won't
ditch you for some celebrity boyfriend one day."
	"Why did you try to fill in for her?" he asked, the shock apparent on his face.
	"Simple. Shelton doesn't want you around her ruining the fantasy of her many
male fans. He figured as long as you couldn't tell the difference between me and her,
you could be kept out of everything she does here."
	"I can't believe even he would do that."
	"Well believe it. He's slime," Lucca declared. "Oh, I'm Lucca by the way." Her
speech was beginning to slur a little. "There's more. You know, it's a good thing I'm
starting to feel drunk or I probably wouldn't tell you any of this. Now, where to
begin..." she started as she fell down into a pile of coats.

	"...So zat iz pretty much what Acme Acres iz like," Fifi said as she finished
explaining about her home. She then sat down on a chair on the balcony they were
sitting on. The cold night air was sending a constant chill over her.
	"I still don't get how such a big star can live in an old car. Then again, from
what you've described, I wouldn't understand much about Acme Acres. But... have you
ever thought that maybe you'll want to move onto something else besides just
cartoons?"
	"I don't know..."
	"Hmm. Fifi, did you go anywhere outside of main street?"
	"Non."
	"Tell me the truth. Trust me, I won't report you to Shelton or something."
	"Then, oui."
	"Then you saw what a disaster that has become?"
	"Oui."
	Madam Plumette sat down in the chair across from her. "It wasn't always that
way, you know. Many years ago, when I was a little older than you are now, this whole
area was such a wonderful place. The theater was home to some of the best actors in the
world, and the tourists would never stop, no matter what time of year it was. It was
wonderful. My father started that theater. Oh, how he loved acting."
	"I saw his name outside ze building," Fifi told her.
	"Yes. The people in the town really did admire him. I admired him greatly, as
well. This was a beautiful, thriving town. When the theater was doing well, the whole
area was prospering. There were so many people that just lined up to see each new
show. Those were the greatest days of my life. Now, as you can see, the place is closed
and in ruins."
	"What happened?" Fifi asked.
	"Well, eventually my father could no longer run the place. We was getting up
there is years and he lost control of it. Just as this happened, Shelton arrived in town
and with a fancy business presentation promised to keep the theater thriving. It just so
happens that he was never able to replace the talent or the writers that left, and
eventually, the shows couldn't recover. Within a few years, forty years of work was
wiped out. He still believes that he can find somebody to bring the people back, a
performer to get the interest back up and to attract others. Somebody to save the whole
town." She then stared Fifi right in the eye. "He thinks that person is you." Fifi was
stunned. She sat speechless for a moment.
	"But... why moi?"
	"You have everything - star power, intelligence, and talent. He has tried to bring
in many others before you, and I never agreed that any of them would work out.
Something always went wrong with each one, but not this time. Fifi, he will probably
try and get you to stay by waiving some money under your nose. But, I want you to
know that I want you to stay. This house would become your home."
	"This iz so sudden... I don't know what to say..." Fifi said in a quiet, timid voice.
	"Fifi, Acme Acres already has more than it needs to get along fine without you.
This is where you are needed. Main Street has been kept up with what little money this
town still has to try and impress somebody to stay that could bring this place back to
life. You have already done more for the area in a few days than anybody has in years."
Fifi couldn't think of anything to say. "Listen, you don't have to answer me right now.
Take another day to think about it, and let me know after the parade tomorrow night."
Madam Plumette then stood up and walked through the doors off the balcony and back
into the house, while Fifi just sat there, frozen, staring out into the night sky.

	"He wants Fifi to do what?!" Hamton exclaimed as he heard what Lucca said.
	"I am being totally serious," Lucca replied. "They are really going to try to get
Fifi to move here." Hamton's eyes went wide and he ran out of the coatroom, knocking
down the door instead of walking out it. Lucca stumbled out after another few seconds.
	"Look at that!" one person with a camera exclaimed as Lucca walked out. "Fifi
looks terrible." They all gathered around and took pictures of the inebriated skunkette.
Lucca pushed down a few of the photographers, and then she fell down herself.
	"That isn't Fifi!" Hamton yelled at them as he tried to pull Lucca off the ground.
	"Oh, that's sweet of you to say," Lucca said. Hamton was overwhelmed by the
scent of alcohol on her breath as she spoke. He lifted Lucca to her feet, but it quickly
became obvious she was in no condition to stand on her own. Hamton lifted her up over
his shoulder and started carrying her, looking for a place to set her down. As he started
searching for somewhere to lay the skunk down, Fifi emerged from the top of the
staircase and immediately noticed Hamton lifting this other skunkette. Hamton was so
surprised to see her that he dropped Lucca on the ground.
	"Thanks a lot!" She yelled from the floor.
	"Hamtone, what iz going on?" Fifi asked.
	"Well, you see..." Hamton started.
	"Me and him were in the coat room," Lucca said from the floor. "Oh, but don't
worry, he thought I was you... oh, and I'm drunk by the way." Fifi walked up to Lucca
and pulled her to her feet.
	"I'll get vous somewhere where vous can rest," Fifi said as she restrained herself
from yelling.
	"Thanks, you're swell... by the way, how do you stand being so... being so...
being so purple all the time?" Fifi just silently guided Lucca into the coatroom and let
her fall down on the coats.
	"How did she even get anytheeng to drink?" Fifi asked when she emerged.
	"Lucca's twenty-one, Fifi," Shelton said as he walked up to her. "See, you do
look older than sixteen."
	"And when were vous planning to tell me what was really going on?"
	"Sometime tomorrow when the energy of the huge crowd would have impaired
your judgment," Shelton answered. "Hey, since I'm sure the old lady told you
everything, why not be honest?"
	"This iz awful! Vous send a body double of moi, vous lie to moi, and vous don't
even care!"
	"Well, I have learned a lesson. This is the last time I'll ever hire Lucca to do
anything. Honestly, for somebody who wants to be an actress she sure can't stay in
character." Shelton then put his arm on Fifi's shoulder and looked her right in the eye.
"I hope you will at least think about the offer that's being made to you." Shelton then
walked away and left Fifi and Hamton.

4:30 AM

	Fifi looked over onto the floor and saw that Hamton had actually been able to
fall asleep. The two had sat up for the past few hours talking about everything they had
just found out about. Fifi knew that this would be another sleepless night, but this time
there was a reason.
	"I need to clear my head," Fifi thought out loud. She stood up and started to
creep out of the room. Before leaving, she decided that Hamton deserved to at least get
a good night's sleep. She bent down, lifted him and placed him down in the bed. She
then kissed him and left him to sleep peacefully. The skunkette then walked out of the
room.
	The streets were completely empty as she started to walk down Main Street.
After a few minutes of walking, Fifi turned and started for the area that Norton lived in.
As she walked through, she saw a few people asleep, propped up against buildings.
There were a couple of people sitting around, still awake. Fifi made sure to take in
every little bit she could despite the darkness - the images of the disrepair they left one
part of the town in while they spent so much fixing up one area of it all to try and
attract one star there to save the area. She wasn't sure if seeing all this would make her
want to stay or leave. The fact that she was even considering staying at all was
surprising her.
	She walked around for a couple of hours in this area. Not one person said a
single thing to her. For the several miles that she covered all she saw were wrecked
buildings or areas that reminded her of her junkyard back home in Acme Acres.
	Fifi was no closer to making up her mind when she noticed the sun starting to
rise. She had circled a large area and was now very close to her hotel. She emerged on
Main street right across from the small diner she had stopped in a few times. Deciding
she wanted to sit and rest for a little while, she walked in. Surely enough, parked at the
counter was Norton with a cigarette in his hands.
	"Isn't this a little early for you to be here?" Norton asked.
	"What are vous doing?"
	"I thought I told you this - I can't sleep very often," Norton answered. "So how
was the party?" Fifi sat down right next to him.
	"They told me what they wanted me here for," Fifi told him.
	"I thought they would. So, are you going to be enriching our lives forever?" he
asked as he took another puff.
	"I don't know..."
	"I don't think you should stay, if you want my opinion," Norton said. "You
aren't what this place needs."
	"Are vous sure vous just don't want moi here?"
	"It's not you - it's every single person that Shelton and Madam Plumette have
dragged in here as if they could just magically fix everything that was wrong. This
whole place was built on one thing, and ever since that left we've been lost." Norton
then put out his cigarette and looked right at Fifi. "Look, the reason I was so mean to
you when you got here was because I thought you were just another pathetic attempt by
those two to save this place. One person can't fix all these problems, and I hope every
single time that it doesn't work that people will finally do something real about it."
	"What makes moi different?" Fifi asked.
	"You seem smart enough," Norton said. "Unlike every other actor or actress
pulled through here, you actually seem to understand that there are more problems than
having the theater open again could fix. Tonight, you'll have two choices - shut your
eyes and play along, or actually try and do something. You could help fix something
here, but not by staying. You leaving might finally get the point through. Think about
it." Norton then stood up and headed for the door. Fifi ran after him.
	"Is this what everything iz about?" she yelled to him. He stopped and turned
around. "Vous are just angry zat they want a new crutch for ze town?"
	"I'm mad that I had to live in a house with no door," Norton answered. "I'm also
mad that because of the strange attitude around this place, like we're defeated until we
get help from somebody who will make it just like the old days. It's those kind of things
that keep my up at night. I'm betting that has something to do with why you can't
sleep."
	"My friend Shirley would call zat bad karma," Fifi said. Norton shrugged and
kept walking. Fifi turned around and started back for the hotel.

	Fifi walked in and saw Hamton was still asleep. The sun was almost completely
up now. She walked over and closed the curtains over the window so the sun wouldn't
disturb him. Fifi sat back in a chair across the room and sat back. For a little while, Fifi
was finally able to get a little sleep. When she woke up out of this shallow rest, her
watch read 9:00. Hamton was still fast asleep. Once again, the decision over what to do
flooded Fifi's mind. In two hours she would have to go prepare for the noon parade
down Main Street. She waited a few more minutes before pulling herself up and
preparing for her final scheduled appearance here.

11:00 AM

	For practically the first time since she arrived, Fifi was going out looking the
same way she always did on Tiny Toons. It was a welcome change from having to put
on dresses and such (or any clothes for that matter). Hamton, who had pulled himself
out of bed an hour earlier, emerged from the bathroom wearing his usual Tiny Toons
suspenders.
	"Are vous ready to go?" Fifi asked.
	"I guess. Are you?"
	"As much as I'll ever be."
	The two walked hand in hand out the door of their hotel room and into the
elevator. Instead of heading outside, the two rode to the basement where they saw
hundreds of other people standing around putting on costumes and make-up.
	"Fifi, you're just in time," Shelton said as the two appeared in the elevator.
"These are going to be your support acts during the parade and for the little scene up on
stage at the end." A few people approached Fifi and introduced themselves and told her
what they were doing as part of it, and a couple asked for autographs. Fifi politely
signed, and then sat down and waited for the order to leave. Finally, after what seemed
like forever, Shelton was heard yelling, "Alright people! Time to move!" As he said
this, all of the extras assembled in a line and started up the stairs back up to the lobby to
begin their trek down Main Street. Fifi nervously watched as the people piled out and
headed up. After about ten minutes, Shelton walked up and told her to head up.
	"Are you scared?" Hamton asked as they walked up the staircase.
	"Non. I am... okay, I am a little nervous," Fifi admitted. The two held hands as
they walked out the front door. As they stepped outside, there was a long car with no
top waiting for them. The two Tiny Toons jumped in the back. Fifi watched the sides of
the road closely as the car slowly started to move. She could see thousands and
thousands of people lining the sides of the road. She could also see many vendors set up
selling shirts and other merchandise with her face on it. It was also obvious than many
observers had Fifi merchandise with them. Fifi couldn't help but smile as the crowds
cheered madly for her.
	"Hamtone..." Fifi started quietly as she continued to wave to people in the
audience," I don't theenk I knew what ze people really thought of moi until now."
	"They love you," Hamton said. "And... I can't really blame them..." Fifi smiled
and gave him a kiss. A few people watching whistled at that.
	Ahead of their car, there were platforms being driven with other performers on
it that were dancing or performing stunts.
	The ride took about forty-five minutes. The crowds were deep all along the
sides of the road until the very end. As they reached the end of the route, Fifi got out of
the car and walked up onto a large platform. When the vehicles had cleared, the people
moved in from the sides of the road and surrounded the platform. Hamton sat off to the
side to watch what his beloved skunkette would say before their planned scene was
performed. Fifi was still thinking about what to say - she had been almost sure that she
was going to say something like Norton said that morning, but after seeing all these
people, she started to think maybe he wasn't right about everything. Finally, she
approached the mic and cleared her throat.
	"Bonjour..." she said. "As vous all know, I am Fifi LaFume. I hope vous all
enjoyed ze parade."
	"We love you Fifi!!" one person in the crowd shouted.
	"Merci. Now, let moi say zat I really appreciate vous coming out to see moi this
morning. Now, before we get to ze scene we want to do pour vous, I want to say
something first." This was it. "I believe zis place can be wonderful again. And, I love
vous all... and I would love to stay if I thought zat would help, but I don't think I am
what vous need..." she hadn't even thought about it - it had just sort of come to her. The
crowd sat in silence. There was this air of disappointment over it.
	"You see? I told you trying this again isn't the answer!" Fifi could hear a
familiar voice yell. Norton was pushing his way to the front of the group. Within a few
seconds, he had made his way to the platform, and he climbed up and grabbed the mic.
	"Let Fifi talk!"
	"Get off the stage!"
	"Boo!"
	"Well thank you for that," he said. "There are at least a few people who have the
good sense to realize trying to bring back the good old days isn't the answer. Fifi seems
to have understood what I was telling her and..."
	"You told her that? You idiot!"
	"It's your fault she's not staying!!"
	Before Norton could answer that accusation, he had to duck a bottle flying at his
head. Without thinking, he jumped into the crowd swinging in the direction he heard
the voice come from. A few other people threw things in no particular area, and within
seconds, the whole crowd had erupted into a violent frenzy. Fifi and Hamton were both
ducking on the stage behind some speakers, and the actors that had accompanied them
were now hiding or running for their lives.
	"We have to do something about this," Hamton pointed out. Fifi started pulling
herself along the ground towards the microphone she had dropped. He managed to pick
it up as she avoided flying objects.
	"STOP IT!!" she yelled into it. Suddenly, the whole crowd stopped hitting each
other. "Zis is absurd! Why are vous fighting? Nobody is making moi leave - I must go
back to Acme Acres. Now, vous all need to figure out what you want to do with zis
town. Work together and stop zis fighting! I promise I will come back again, but only if
vous can actually do sometheeng about all this instead of just hoping somebody will fix
it pour vous." The crowd erupted into applause and the fighting did not resume. Fifi
smiled and took in the sight of the cheering spectators one last time, and after a very
long ovation, she ducked out the back of the stage along with Hamton.

2:00 PM

	"So... what are we going to tell everybody when we get back?" Hamton asked.
	"I think we should tell zem ze whole story," Fifi replied as the two stepped onto
their plane. They sat down in the mostly empty first class section, and almost as soon as
she hit the seat, Fifi fell asleep. Hamton stayed awake just feeling relieved that Fifi was
now finally able to relax.

The End