Prologue Buster Bunny and Babs Bunny (no relation), Shirley The Loon, Fifi LaFume, and Plucky Duck were standing in the waiting room at LAX. And, being the main purpose of the room, they were waiting. And waiting. And waiting. And waiting. And they were doing it extremely well. In fact, they were waiting in an impeccably professional manner. They would probably get an award for waiting if one such existed. Or so thought Buster. But then again, he knew all the new safety procedures that caused all this waiting were to keep all terrorists out of the country. He pondered on this, and wondered why the Oddimals didn’t bother pulling up the scenery to get them to Acme Acres. Perhaps they hadn’t mastered that technique yet, but that still didn’t explain why the Oddimals didn’t call them and ask *them* to do a scenery change and bring them here. He kept pondering on this, and thanked God that no terrorist had learned that particular way of travel. Yet. His pessimistic thoughts were thankfully interrupted when the Oddimals finally padded out of the customs area. The Tiny Toons stood and welcomed their friends from Brazil— “Why are you all wearing sweaters?” asked Babs, somewhat stunned upon seeing their superfluous attire. “What do you mean ‘why’?” replied Boomer. “It’s cold up here in Los Angeles!!” “Cold?” asked Buster. “But we’re in the middle of summer!” “Yeah, well, 30 degrees is practically winter to us. We’ll probably freeze to death up here,” shivered Johnny, Olivia’s husband. The Tiny Toons blinked at this, except for Fifi. “Dude, 30 degrees is winter *everywhere* to *everyone*,” said Plucky with a smirk. Now it was the Oddimals’ turn to blink. “What are you talking about?” asked Bandit. “You seem pretty comfortable right now.” “Sure I do, but it’s not 30 degrees. At 30 degrees, my pond would be frozen from top to bottom!” Bandit became even more confused, “Huh? How can that be? At 30 degrees you’d be enjoying a nice summer swim—” “I THINK—” interrupted Zuccini, stepping between both groups, “—that Jinx meant to say 30 degrees *Celsius*. The equivalent to 86 degrees Fahrenheit, schplink?” “Ohhhhhh,” said everyone. “Yes,” she continued, “our typical summer is 40 to 50 degrees or higher, or 100 to 120 degrees to you.” “Vous will have to pardon zem,” told the skunkmaid to the Brazilians. “Zey arr not used to zeenkeeng een ze metrics.” Aurora leaned over to her and whispered, “Are *any* Americans?” Both females looked at each other and giggled after a moment. “Well, I’m sure you guys will get used to our ‘freezing summer’ soon enough,” said Buster, bending over to pick up Boomer’s suitcase. “Once we get you all to the beach, you’ll think differently.” The others also helped them with their luggage, and once they were all set, Buster grabbed the bottom of the scenery, and pulled it up, revealing a sunny beach. Smiling, they all padded toward the water, glad to be in the company of good friends. Tiny Toons and Oddimals in: Seekers of the Phoenix! By Danny “D-Boy” Wheeler and The J.A.M. (dboywheeler@juno.com & i_am_the_jam@hotmail.com) Starring: Charles Adler as Buster Tress MacNeille as Babs Kath Soucie as Fifi and Sneezer Joe Alaskey as Plucky Danny Cooksey as Montana Max Jim Byrnes as Shadolar Jim Cummings as Julius Jackal/Master X Gail Matthius as Shirley The Loon Daniel Wheeler as D-Boy Whitewulf Brooke Michelle as Zuccini Alyson Court as Olivia Tom Kenny as Boomer Anthony Daniels as Bandit The J.A.M. as Jinx Ian James Corlett as Johnny Megumi Hayashibara as Ryoko And Kyle Hebert as Kendo Chapter 1: Master X’s Next Plot But while the Tiny Toons were welcoming their friends from Brazil, in another dimension, a dark force was preparing to attack once again. Shadolar, the cobra/shadow demon, and his chief servant, Julius Jackal (a.k.a. “Master X”), had just about finished recovering from their previous encounter with the animated world. In the darkest recesses of this evil dimension, the cobra demon watched as Julius lay trance-like on a stone slab, glowing with a faint eerie red light. Shadolar, too, had used this technique to gather all the evil power that was present in this dimension to recharge his own powers. It was annoyingly slow, but efficient. And now it was time to prepare another attack. The jackal’s eyes flickered open as he came out of his trance, and the red glow disappeared. “JULIUSSS!” hissed Shadolar, making his servant suddenly turn his head to look at him. Unceremoniously, he sat up and stood in front of his master. “What is thy bidding, my lord?” he asked with a stone face. The demon hissed, “I AM SSSSENDING YOU DOWN TO ACME ACRESSSS AGAIN!!! THERE, YOU MUSSST FIND THE SSSOLAR DEMONSSS!!!” Here, the jackal smiled as “pleasant” memories coursed through his mind. “Yes, my lord,” replied Master X. “The Solar Demons were some of your best creatures! In the past, people were deceived into thinking they were demons, but were naught but specialized fire elementals. What glorious panic and destruction they unleashed!! Gladly will I find these and release them on thy enemies!” “THEY TOOK LONG IN FORMING AND IN RECHARGING, JULIUSSSS!! DON’T FAIL ME, OR YOU WILL PERSSSSSONALLY BE IN CHARGE OF RESSSSTORING THEM ONCCCCE MORE!!!!” “I won’t fail you, my master.” With that, Master X suddenly shone with a bright red light, and disappeared from Shadolar’s presence. Meanwhile, some 500 kilometres west of Acme Acres, in the Rocky Mountains, a young wolf was spending spent the last few minutes before midnight doing some martial arts training. His name was D-Boy Whitewulf, and his previous encounter with the Tiny Toons, Oddimals, Master X, and Shadolar made him decide that it would be prudent to train in a place somewhat closer to Acme Acres, and not, say, across the ocean. Soon, it was midnight, and D-Boy went into his tent for the night. “Ah… the pristine beauty of God’s creation,” sighed the wolf as he slipped into a sweet dream filled sleep, for now… Chapter 2: The Attack The next afternoon, the Tiny Toons and the Oddimals were at the beach once again. Olivia and Johnny, being otters, were enjoying swimming with each other. Babs, Fifi, Shirley, Aurora, and Zuccini, meanwhile, were lying on their stomachs, trying to get a tan, at least in theory. All wore their bikinis, except for Zuccini, who didn’t wear anything because she never did actually go swimming. Babs had her black one, Fifi had her red one, Shirley had her yellow one, and Aurora had her light blue one. And knowing the guys, they took no chances and kept their tops firmly tied. [SPLASH!!!!] That, of course, didn’t deter Buster from pulling out his water rifle and drenching his girlfriend thoroughly. “BUSTER!!!!” she screamed, jumping to a kneeling position, her temper making the water on her evaporate. Suddenly, she hopped angrily toward him, and the chase began. Buster hadn’t hopped away more than five times when he suddenly stopped, turned toward Babs as she hopped toward him, grabbed her, ran toward the water, and dived in. The other toons laughed at this, especially when both lagomorphs surfaced; as their ears were completely flat against their heads. Babs smirked at her boyfriend and splashed him, and a water fight began. The other females, except for Zuccini, saw that and decided to join in the fun. “Miss Zuccini, why aren’t you going to swim, huh huh?” asked Little Sneezer, walking up to the green mammal. She looked at him and replied, “It’s a long story, Sneezer. But I’m sure we can still have some fun together here, schplink. What do you say we build a sand castle?” “All right!!” replied the rodent, and he ran to get a bucket and spade. Farther north on the beach from where the Tiny Toons and Oddimals were, there were two more toons out for the day. They were two Japanese purple skunk twins, and they, too, had enjoyed swimming earlier. After resting from their swim, the male had changed from his blue trunks to a brown gi, and was training with his bamboo sword as the sun was setting that day. The female, meanwhile, was wearing a neon blue bikini, and was lying back on her beach blanket looking at the sunset. Then she closed her eyes, still lying on her blanket, and sang a particular Animé song: “*Zankoku na tenshi no you ni Shounen yo shinwa ni nare Aoi kaze ga ima Mune no DOA wo tataite mo Watashi dake wo tada mitsumete Hohoende’ru anata Sotto fureru mono Motomeru koto ni muchuu de Unmei sae mada shiranai Itaike na hitomi Dakedo itsuka kidzuku deshou Sono senaka ni wa Haruka mirai mezasu tame no Hane ga aru koto Zankoku na tenshi no TE-ZE Madobe kara yagate tobitatsu Hotobashiru atsui PATOSU de Omoide wo uragiru nara Kono sora wo daite kagayaku Shounen yo shinwa ni nare Zutto nemutte’ru Watashi no ai no yurikago Anata dake ga yume no shisha ni Yobareru asa ga kuru Hosoi kubisuji wo Tsukiakari ga utsushite’ru Sekai-juu no toki wo tomete Tojikometai kedo Moshimo futari aeta koto ni Imi ga aru nara Watashi wa sou jiyuu wo shiru Tame no BAIBURU Zankoku na tenshi no TE-ZE Kanashimi ga soshite hajimaru Dakishimeta inochi no katachi Sono yume ni mezameta toki Dare yori mo hikari wo hanatsu Shounen yo shinwa ni nare Hito wa ai wo tsumugi nagara Rekishi wo tsukuru Megami nante narenai mama Watashi wa ikiru Zankoku na tenshi no TE-ZE Madobe kara yagate tobitatsu Hotobashiru atsui PATOSU de Omoide wo uragiru nara Kono sora wo daite kagayaku Shounen yo shinwa ni nare.*” “Anata wa kesshite sono uta utau kotoni tukaremasu ne?” [You never get tired of singing that, do you?] asked the male skunk, not looking at the female, shifting his stance. “Atashi wa ‘Zankoku na Tenshi no TE-ZE’ konomimasu. Sore wa watashi-tachi no shusseichi de hayarimasu!” she replied. One of their particular quirks was that while the male could speak, read, and write English, the female could only read and write it. She simply had not got the pronunciation at all. However, they *had* mastered the art of subtitling, because the words [I like “Cruel Angel Thesis.” It’s popular in our birthplace!] appeared below her face. The male skunk then turned to the west, where the sun had now completely disappeared. Sheathing his sword, he said, “Sore wa kiten ni modoru jikan desu.” [It is time to return home.] The female looked at the red sky one last time and sighed, “Hai. Kaerimasho,” and was subtitled, [Yes. Let’s return.] They folded their blankets and repacked all their belongings, shaking the sand out of them as they did. No sooner had they finished when a red light on their right suddenly caught their attention. The female gasped, “Nan ga okorimashite ka?” [What is happening?] The male replied, also in his native tongue, “Boku wa shirimasen. Chousa shimasho.” [I do not know. Let’s investigate.] Both started padding down the beach toward the red glow. Then, in the distance, they saw what appeared to be a canine toon dressed in a metal armour standing on the beach, about 100 metres from where they were. Though they had never seen him before, the way their fur was bristling made them realise that he meant trouble. The male whispered, “Kare ni niramimasho.” [Let’s keep an eye on him.] At which the female nodded. Meanwhile, on the opposite side, Zuccini and Little Sneezer had finished their sand castle. A three-meter replica of the Castle of Windsor. “I couldn’t have done it without you, Sneezer,” said Zuccini, admiring her work. The other toons, too, stood nearby, applauding them, except for Plucky, who just said, “Show off.” “Oh boy! I’d better get my camera!!” The rodent thus ran off to where he had left his belonging, and proceeded to retrieve his camera. It was then that he saw a red glow further up the beach. The rodent froze when the light faded away, revealing a character that made his fur bristle like never before. “Oh, no! It’s that maniac Master X! I have to tell the others!” He was just about to turn and run to the rest, but as he did, he suddenly smashed his nose on a piece of metal he hadn’t seen before. He fell back, and looking up, he saw that he had bumped into Master X’s foot, who had suddenly transported in front of Sneezer, blocking his path. “Going somewhere?” snarled the jackal at the rodent. Master X then raised his right paw and held it above the mouse. Sneezer, realising he was going to attack, quickly reached behind himself and pulled out a rodent-size pepper shaker, sprinkling the spice over his own nose. He hoped that at least the blast would get the others’ attention. “Ahhhh———ahhhhhhhhh————— CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” That sneeze blast did little good, unfortunately. The blast shot around Master X, taking the form of a sphere as the jackal put a shield around himself. The sneeze blast was able to blow Sneezer some ten metres away from him, however. “Hah!” scoffed Master X. “Your power over the Element of Wind will do little good against me. Let me show you a stronger force: the Element of Thunder!” By now, however, the other toons had noticed what was happening and were running toward them, with Fifi in the lead. Running just along the water line, they were able to dodge the sneeze blast. Fifi, seeing Master X raise his paws again and hearing the word “thunder”, suddenly began running double speed. “NON!!” she screamed, charging up her tail with skunk musk. Just as Master X fired a powerful lightning blast, the purple skunkette jumped between the jackal and the mouse, trying to shield Sneezer somehow while blasting her scent toward Master X. Musk, however, was ineffective against lightning. The thunder blast completely vaporised the musk, and hit Fifi square in the back and tail. Then, something worse happened. Master X, realising who had stood in his way, gave an additional power pulse to his thunder blast to act specifically on Fifi’s aniplasm— —and with roar of thunder, the skunkmaid was vaporised. The Tiny Toons and the Oddimals froze in their tracks as they saw this, completely incredulous as to what had just happened. Just then, they saw two purple skunks running toward Master X, and one was pulling out what appeared to be a very sharp sword. The other screamed, “Satsujinsha!” [Murderer!] and was about to jump-kick the metal clad jackal. At this, Master X saw that his cover had been blown and would not be able to complete his mission without interference. He would have no problem destroying everyone in sight, but unfortunately for him, he was pressed for time to complete this mission. Still, he had accomplished his previous mission now, in a way. Laughing, he teleported away just before the Japanese skunkmaid could connect the kick on his head. The skunkmaid landed on her foot-paws and glanced about, wondering where her enemy had gone. All she saw and heard, however, was screaming toons all around. And then, there was total silence. It took the others some time to realise what had just happened. Sneezer, still on the ground, was wondering if what he just saw had been a nightmare, and if Fifi hadn’t just been disintegrated in front of his face. Her face. The look of horror on her face as the lightning hit her would be something that would haunt his nights for a long time. And he knew that. She had sacrificed herself to save him. Everyone now stood in horror, and as the facts slowly sank in, the females began crying, and then the males did, too. Acme Acres soon learned of the death of the French skunkmaid they held dear to their hearts… Chapter 3: Hope Renewed. Meanwhile, in Shadolar’s dimension, the jackal re-materialised. “WHAT HAPPENED, JULIUSSSS?!” roared the cobra demon, suddenly billowing in front of his servant. “I was slightly delayed, milord,” replied Master X, nonchalantly. “A blasted rodent was just about to blow my cover. Since our previous attack with the Cartoon Hemorragitis Beta virus, it seems our foes are wiser of our intentions!” Then he cocked his head slightly and added with a smirk, “My visit *was* profitable, however. I was *finally* able to destroy that skunkwhore LaFume, whom the toons saved last time. Her atoms were scattered.” Shadolar floated away for a moment, and then turned away from the jackal. His eyes then glowed a brighter red, and a bright red circle appeared in front of him. In the circle, images of the events in Acme Acres blurred by in an ethereal slide show. He examined the events for a moment, and the ethereal viewer vanished. Turning back to his servant, he hissed, “WELL, THE DEATH OF THE SSSKUNKWHORE HASSS DEMORALIZZZED OUR ENEMIESSS, SSSO THE NEXSSST VISSSIT WILL HAVE LESSS RESSSISSSTENCCCE!” “Perfect, master!” sneered the metal clad jackal. “Now the Solar Demons will be released with practically no problems! Tomorrow, I’ll set out to do so.” Normally, Shadolar would have hissed at Julius’ delay, but he decided that one small victory was enough for the day. He allowed the jackal one more night to charge up his powers. Screams. Horror. Pain. Fire coursing through her body, to her very heart. And then, the pain suddenly vanished. It was replaced by a strange feeling of light-headedness. And then, peace. Wonderful peace. Fifi LaFume opened her eyes and found herself in the most beautiful field she had ever seen. Colours she never knew existed danced all around her. In the sky, gold and silver clouds appeared to welcome her. *This is a wonderful place,* she thought. Suddenly, she realised something. She didn’t think in French. Or German. Or English. She looked around and saw more strange things, which for some reason didn’t seem strange to her at the moment. It was obviously daytime, but looking at the sky she saw no sun anywhere. Also, there were no shadows around whatsoever. The light appeared to be all- present, so there were no dark places anywhere. Then she turned around, and saw it. Sitting in the expanse of eternity, was the most humongous cube she had ever seen. So huge it was, that the edges of it should have been beyond her range of vision. It was then that she realised her senses had been enhanced, and so looked closer at the cube. It was obviously a city several thousand kilometres long, wide, and high. It had a tall wall all around it, with three huge crystal gates on the sides she could see, and beautiful intricate designs on its sides. Standing at each gate was what appeared to be an angel. And from the top of the cube emanated the most beautiful light she had ever seen. A river flowed out of the city and through the field she was in. Padding closer to the river, she saw the most crystal clear water and felt like taking a brief dip— Wait, wasn’t she swimming just now? And where was her bikini? And her bow? “Hi, Fifi.” Whirling around, she saw a young jackal standing in front of her. She would have felt scared, but peace filled her once again. This jackal looked familiar, however. “I didn’t expect you here so soon. I’m Jeremy, Julius’ brother.” The skunkmaid stood back at this. Jeremy? “That can’t be,” she replied. “If you’re the brother of that evil jackal Master X, then you would have to be dead!” Wait, what happened to her accent? “Biologically, I am. And because you’re here with me—um, so are you.” The memphitid would have panicked, but instead felt stunned at the news. Then, the memories of her last moments on Earth filled her mind, and she then realised what had happened. “Wow, I didn’t know being dead felt so—natural.” “Well, your body may be dead, but here, your soul is very much alive.” Fifi turned from him, and looked all around again. This was a truly beautiful place, more beautiful than anything on Earth. And then, she felt a bit of sadness. “I didn’t expect to be here so soon, either. I was murdered.” “I know. I’ve been following my brother’s actions ever since I got here. He thinks he’s doing all he’s doing to avenge me, but he doesn’t know that I already forgave Olivia. He’s just using my death as an excuse to bring out his true nature.” Both mammals stood silent for a moment, and then she turned to him and asked, “What happens to me now?” “Oh, you get to visit your new mansion! Come, I’ll take you there!” They padded upstream, toward the city, and as they did, she commented, “I guess D-Boy was wrong.” “Wrong about what?” “Well, I had a near death experience a few months back. My friends saved me from your brother, and as I was recovering they told me the story of how they got the medicine I needed. D-Boy told me he told your brother, ‘I have a feeling the Good Lord wants her to stay a bit longer’. Looks like my time to leave came earlier than we thought.” “Actually, I’m afraid you *are* here quite prematurely.” Both stopped, and looked up. A huge fearsome angel stood between them and one of the crystal gates. He held a parchment in front of him, and said, “Indeed, you died before your time, and you have a lot to do on Earth before your time is up.” The skunkmaid was emotionally torn. “What? But this place is wonderful! No more tears, no more pain, no more evil! Are you sure that I’m not supposed to be here yet?” “I’m sure. God Himself sent me to inform you that your return trip will be taken shortly.” Fifi lowered her head, but Jeremy intervened, “How can that happen? I saw how she died! Her body was disintegrated! Can’t God make a provision here and allow her to stay—?” “Jeremy, it’s okay,” she interrupted, holding his paw. “I really *don’t* want to leave, but I know not many people get the chance to go back and finish all they have to do. And I *will* come back, you know.” “Yes,” said the angel. “Once you do, you will have all eternity to explore the city and its surroundings. And trust me, it will take you several thousand solar years just to see HALF of the city!” “Wow, is it that huge?” she asked. “You should have read the book of Revelation more often, Fifi.” The skunkmaid blushed and made a mental note to study the last book of the Bible once she returned. Then she asked the angel, “So what happens now, then? God will re-integrate my body and I will return to it?” “Oh, it’s not that simple. Even though God can re-form your body just by twitching a finger, He has decided to put your friends on a quest that will allow them to make more friends, *and* will help them in the work *they* have to do through their lives.” “What will they have to do?” asked Jeremy. “Well, the first thing *you* have to do, Fifi, is send a message to one of your friends. Hang on, let me prepare the transmitter…” Sometime before that, in the Rocky Mountains, D-Boy Whitewulf was training in the early evening starlit mountain trail. As the evening wore on into the night, a strange feeling of dread and concern began pressing in his chest. “Something isn’t right,” said the white wolf to himself, stopping his training and looking toward the west. “Somehow…I know something bad is happening in Acme Acres! But what?” He padded to his airbike in order to call Buster, when suddenly a light from the sky shone around him, stopping him in his tracks. Then, before him, a transparent Fifi LaFume appeared. More dread and fear filled him, and he prepared a fireball to shoot at the apparition— “D-Boy?” The canid held his fist back, holding the fireball. “Who are you?” he demanded. The spirit explained, “D-Boy, c’est moi, Fifi LaFume!” He still held the fireball, not knowing what to do. “How do I know that?” “BECAUSE SHE IS,” boomed an angelic voice inside his head. “THERE ISN’T TIME FOR A THOROUGH QUESTIONING, D-BOY.” “Oh,” he said, deactivating the fireball and straightening up. “Sorry, Fifi. I thought you were part of one of Master X’s tricks.” The memphitid became sad at this, and said, “Master X ees ze reason Ah’m talkeeng to vous like zees, D-Boy. Earleer today, ‘e came to Acme Acres—and keelled moi.” “WHAT???!!!” snarled the wolf, raising his hackles and baring his fangs. “HE KILLED YOU??? WHERE IS HE???!!! I’LL BITE HIS HEAD OFF AND STUFF IT IN HIS STOMACH—!!!” “D-Boy, si tu plais!!!” exclaimed Fifi. The wolf calmed down, and looked at her. “D-Boy, zey told moi eet ees not mon time to die yet. But to breeng moi back, tu needs to get ze Tiny Toons and take zem to Olympeea, Greece. Zere vous are to find ze Pheenex, who weel tell vous what to do next to breeng moi back.” “A Phoenix bird in Olympia, Greece? But Fifi, if you’re in Heaven, can’t you ask God to resurrect you if your time hasn’t come yet?” “Mon bodee was, ‘ow yoo say, deeseentegrated. God *can* restore eet, but ‘E said ‘E has a better plan for moi and for vous. ‘E works een ze meesteereeous ways, so all Ah know ees zat vous ‘as to find ze Pheenex to breeng moi back.” D-Boy looked at her, thought for a moment, and replied, “Right, Fifi! I’ll get to Acme Acres pronto!” Fifi just smiled, and disappeared. When the vision cleared, D-Boy immediately disassembled his tent and picked up all his belongings. He then packed them into his airbike, mounted it, and turned on the engines. It rose from the ground a few metres, and then zoomed off to Acme Acres. Since he was flying over a continental area, he couldn’t fly his airbike over Mach 1, so he arrived in Acme Acres way past midnight. And since no one was awake, he decided to land in the forest and get some sleep and then find his friends early in the morning. Morning came, and he padded quickly into the city. With the light, he found black crepes everywhere, and when he got to the main street, he saw a procession of toons, all dressed in mourning attire, heading west. Following them, he eventually arrived at the beach. There, he saw a huge crowd standing around a stone pillar that had been set up in the sand. All around him the toons were silently weeping, or looking at the pillar with grief in their faces. He saw Buster, Babs, Plucky, Shirley, Hamton, the Oddimals— And a purple skunkmaid? He made his way through the crowd, but stopped when the skunkmaid turned and he was able to see her face. She was Japanese. Then, an old grey badger padded in front of the crowd, behind a microphone stand which had been placed in front of the pillar. He adjusted his spectacles on his nose, opened a black book he was carrying, and began speaking, “Madames et messieurs, nous sommes ici assemblés…” How thoughtful to have the sermon in Fifi’s native French. Few toons around spoke French, of course, and D-Boy was only able to catch a few words of what the badger said. He obviously mentioned Fifi’s background, her quest for romance that was fruitless at the end, something about friends and love, and a catastrophe that left the mourners without a body to bury. He then lost track of the sermon until the minister concluded, “Nous prions au nom du Père, et du Fils, et de L’Esprit Saint, amen.” With that, the badger closed the book, and stepped down. The crowd began disassembling, and toons began filing up to the monument to deposit flowers. D-Boy watched as the Tiny Toons and the Oddimals also placed flowers beside the monument. He padded toward them, and they saw him. “D-Boy!” exclaimed Buster, bounding up to him. “When did you get here, and how did you learn of this?” “Last night, and Fifi told me.” “Huh?” Glancing around, the wolf gathered Buster, Babs, Shirley, Plucky, Hamton, Sneezer, and the Oddimals, and took them apart from the crowd. “Where’s Montana Max?” he asked. “That rich brat couldn’t care less about Fifi,” sniffed Babs, wiping tears from her eyes. “Okay, that means he won’t know about this:” he leaned closer to them and spoke softly, “Look guys, Fifi appeared to me in a vision and told me of a Phoenix who can bring her back!” “What?” asked everyone, rather loudly. D-Boy frantically motioned everyone to keep quiet, which they quickly did. He continued, “Yes. Last night, Fifi appeared to me in a vision and told me what happened here. She also told me that since it’s not her time to die yet, God made a provision and will allow her resurrection if we can get to Olympia, Greece, and find a Phoenix.” “What’s a Phoenix, huh huh?” asked Sneezer. “It’s a legendary bird that every 500 years dies in flames and then somehow rises from its own ashes young and restored.” Everyone looked at Plucky and wondered why he knew that. Seeing their confused expressions, he hissed, “Hey, I’m a bird. We *know* these things!” “Well, if we have to go to Greece to bring Fifi back, then we’ll do that then!” exclaimed Buster, removing his black shirt, revealing his normal red sweater underneath. The rest didn’t need to say anything, as they, too, shed their mourning attire— “Sumimasen.” [Excuse me.] Everyone turned and saw two purple Asian skunks standing near them. “Yes?” asked the wolf, suddenly suspicious. Olivia explained, “D-Boy, these are Kendo and Ryoko. They were here when Master X attacked. They tried to defend Fifi and Sneezer, but he was too quick.” “Yes,” said Kendo, the male skunk. “We saw the jackal kill Fifi. After that, we decided to help in this memorial, and became friends of the Tiny Toons and Oddimals. Now that you have said of a way to bring her back, we will also help you and defeat this Master X.” “Perfect,” said the wolf. “Then follow me. We have many things to prepare before we go.” The toons thus followed him back to the forest where he had his airbike, and all were filled with a new hope that they would soon see their beloved friend again. Chapter 4: Monty Prepares for Trouble “WHAT?!” Master X said in shock. “A Phoenix?!” “YESSSS…” hissed Shadolar, billowing away from him. “IT SSSSEEMSSS THAT D-BOY MET THE SSSKUNKWHORE IN A VISSSION! AND FROM THE VISSSION, HE LEARNED OF THISSS PHOENIXSSS!” “Hmmmm,” said the jackal, as he examined the new situation mentally. “With them in Greece searching for a legendary *Arabian* bird who may *or may not* be there, that will leave Acme Acres open to attack! And because of Bin Laden’s attack on the World Trade Centre, security in airports is extremely tight now, slowing down passenger boarding time—though I must admit, master,” he commented to the demon, “Bin Laden would make a great general in our armies, and his Al-Qaida network also would provide splendid new recruits for General Raptor—!!” It was difficult for him not to rub his paws together and get giddy at this thought, but then he realised he was digressing from the main mission. “But anyway,” he continued, calming down, “even with all those delays, I will *still* need to find a way to buy more time to unleash the Solar Demons—” An evil grin crept on his face when he realised just how to do that, “Looks like I must pay yet another visit to our good friend!” At that, he vanished once more. Montana Max, as Babs mentioned earlier, refused to be at Fifi’s funeral. Why would he want to pay respects to a stinking skunk girl who was practically in heat 24/7? She was no friend of his, obviously, but then again, neither was any of the Tiny Toons, except Elmyra, and maybe Dizzy and Calamity. So, he decided to enjoy himself in his pool, trying to ignore a nagging thought in his head that told him just *how* the skunkmaid had died. If Master X was back in town— A sudden waterspout tossed him out of the pool and into his beach chair. The waterspout fell away, revealing the metal-clad jackal standing before the human. “Ah, Montana Max, my good friend,” cackled Master X, obviously using the word “friend” in a *very* loose sense. “I have another favour to ask of you.” Oh dear. “Wh-What is it, my master?” trembled the human, as he tried to back up and instead caused his beach chair to fold up in itself, trapping him in. With an ability only toons can have, he “walked” the chair back, away from the jackal, but the canid slowly walked toward him, maintaining the same distance between them. Montana, of course was afraid to refuse the offer, for if he did, he might end up as Fifi was, albeit in a different location. Suddenly, there was no more deck, and Montana had backed up against the wall. Master X loomed over him, cleared his throat and said, “I have a feeling you want the skunk girl dead *permanently*, am I right?” “Eh, isn’t she,” asked Monty, trembling in his chair. “Well,” continued the jackal, “Here’s the situation. It has come to my attention that there is a Phoenix in Olympia, Greece, that is able to bring the skunk girl back to life! The Tiny Toons, the Oddimals, and that cursed wolf D- Boy have also learned of this and are headed there even as we speak! I need you to delay them as long as possible!” The human sighed, relieved that this mission would be a lot simpler than the previous one, and he would *not* be going to Wackyland again— Delay? “Delay?” he asked, suddenly confused. “You mean it doesn’t matter to you if they succeed or not?” The jackal leaned down and growled, “It matters to you MORE, brat,” with his eyes glowing red. Montana stuttered, “Oh—sure! I’ll—delay—yes, sirree!—Delay—they will be—uh, and what will you be doing, sire?” he asked, wondering again. Master X smiled and decided to let the rich boy in on his plan. He walked calmly across the deck, arms crossed, and sneered, “Well, I am currently on an errand for my master, Shadolar. He sent me to unleash his Solar Demons. Now, they’re not really demons, like him, but are actually specialized Fire Elementals. I will use them to destroy Acme Acres!!” He suddenly turned and thrust a fist into the air, snarling at the sky— Then he calmed down and looked at the boy again, “However, your mansion will be spared, hopefully, he he he. But even if it isn’t, I’ll talk with Shadolar and see if we can rebuild a city that fits *your* tastes. You’d be my perfect lieutenant!” Here, Montana stopped shaking and leaned closer. His chair finally opened and he was able to stand and walk closer to the jackal. “That’s right,” he continued, priding himself in the greed he was able to trigger in the human, “you’ll be in charge of the area. The only ones you’ll answer to are me and Shadolar!” Montana was *really* interested in the deal now. Plans for airplane delays were developing in his head. Leaning down toward him, the jackal concluded, “And if you serve us loyally, you can guarantee that you’ll be amply rewarded!” Dollar signs flashed in Montana’s eyes, and he automatically exclaimed, “Of course, milord! I’ll get everything ready and they’ll be so delayed Acme Acres will be ashes by the time they return!! “It BETTER be,” growled Julius, his eyes glowing red again. With that, he disappeared. Montana was slightly frightened again by this, but realising what could be in store for him if he succeeded, he dashed back into the mansion, yelling, “Grovely!! Prepare my private jet!!!” “It was a great idea to forego the airlines and take your airbike, D-Boy!” exclaimed Jinx. Buster, Babs, Plucky, Shirley, Sneezer, Hamton, and the Oddimals were once again in wagons being towed by the vehicle, and were speeding east just below Mach 1. Since they couldn’t reach supersonic speed until they were over the ocean, it would be a while before they reached Olympia. So, to pass the time, Tiny Toons and Oddimals decided to get to know their new friends better. “What were your names again?” asked the wolf. The male skunk replied, “I am Kendo Gekishuu, and this is my sister, Ryoko.” Both bowed to their friends, and the others bowed back, remembering their manners. Babs asked, “So, what brought you to the States?” Kendo explained, “We came here when we were younger. We used to live with our parents back in Japan. Our father’s name was Yoshinori and our mother was Rina.” Here, both skunks looked down as sadness overcame them. Shirley, sensing unbelievable grief from them, suddenly realised why they chose a particular word, “‘Was’?” “Yes,” continued Kendo. “The—unimaginable happened!” All the toons sat in silence, until Buster could bring himself to ask, “What?” Ryoko began to cry as Kendo explained the next part; sombre memories flowing back, “Our parents were murdered. Their killer was a monster—literally! His name was Shogun Tengu. Now, a Tengu is a Japanese monster similar to a Greek harpy, only much worse. He used magic from stolen scrolls to kill our parents. We now live with our uncle, Arashi, our father’s brother.” Ryoko sniffed and said, “Atashi wa okaasan to otousan imanao koishigarimasu. Fifi ga shinimashitara ni atashi wa okaasan to otousan no shi oboemashita. Shitagatte atashi wa atashi ga koudou shimashita houhou de koudou shimashita.” The others were about to ask what she said, but then saw that she was being subtitled: [I still miss mother and father. When Fifi died, I remembered their deaths. Therefore I acted in the manner I acted.] They understood, but Plucky ruined the mood by asking, “She doesn’t speak English?” “Not out loud,” replied Kendo. “She can read and write it and can understand what you’re saying, but I guess she never got the hang of the pronunciation.” He smirked at her sister, who then stuck her tongue out at him and growled, “Baka!” [Idiot!] Both laughed at this, finally breaking the sombre mood. As they flew to Greece, Kendo decided to try to teach them a little bit of Japanese. Greek would have been better, but none of them knew anything about it. Unbeknownst to the rest, Monty and his butler were following in a private stealth jet. The brat was fuming because all his plans for airport delays had been thrown out the window. Now, he could only hope to catch up with them in Olympia after the delays he was expecting when *he* landed there. Annoyingly, he flipped open his laptop and tried to come up with more plans once they were in Greece. Both aircraft flew east, away from the sun and into the dark side of the planet. Several miles west of Acme Acres, still in sight of the setting sun, something else was happening. Master X appeared above the water and hovered there, arms crossed. Then, he looked down, extended his arms, and began chanting in what appeared to be the original Indo-European language. His chants were practically unpronounceable by anyone except him, but he was subtitled as well: [Waters of salt, from ancient times Stand aside and let the master through!] At this, a whirlpool began forming under the jackal. [Surrender the seal that you were given! Surrender the firey ones that you once quenched!] The whirlpool suddenly extended, revealing the ocean floor, and there was a huge obsidian slab at the centre, right under Master X, who descended toward it. [And the great stone that held you still, I command it now to shatter and release! Hydrogen, Oxygen, Nitrogen, Sulphur, and Carbon, Combine once again in your satanic brew, And let the fire from Hell rekindle you once more!!!] It was obviously rhyming in Indo-European, but that wasn’t important. The moment Master X finished speaking the slab shattered and turned to dust. At that moment, a hellish light shone from the ocean floor, and no sooner had that happened when hundreds of pulses of red light shot from where the slab used to be. Hellish zooms and zings filled the air, backing up Master X’s evil laughter, and then sounds like a raging forest fire joined in the infernal chorus. If fire had ever been anthropomorphised, it was now. The solar demons vaguely had a human shape, distorted over and over again as the flames that composed them danced randomly. Then, the solar demons assembled all around the jackal, wondering if they should thank him for releasing them, or perhaps attack this strange creature. The strange creature spoke, “Welcome back! Your creator, Shadolar, sent me to release you!” Some of them appeared to smile at this. Master X then pointed east, toward the shore, and ordered, “Now go, and wreak your destruction! Destroy at your own pleasure! Ha ha ha!!!” The demons zoomed toward land, leaving Master X alone, laughing at the scene. The whirlpool closed itself with a resounding splash, and the jackal disappeared. From Heaven, Fifi and Jeremy looked down with concern for their friends. “This isn’t good, is it?” asked the skunkmaid. “I’ve seen worse.” Chapter 5: Find the Phoenix! Soon, the team made it to Olympia, Greece, or more exactly, the outskirts of Olympia. They had seen an ancient structure from the air, and landed in front of it. The structure was obviously a marble temple with a very tall tower. The Greek inscriptions and drawings that were all around it gave it a fearsome appearance. All the toons dismounted, knowing that their quest had barely begun. Buster looked at them and said, “According to the information on the internet, the Phoenix has a pure heart and will answer only to those only having pure hearts. We *could* encounter some tests in there.” At this, everyone looked at Plucky and Boomer, both of whom asked rather indignant, “What?” Shirley waddled up to him, looked into his eyes, and hissed, “Like, Plucky, if you have ever cared about anyone in your life besides yourself, er sum junk, like, try *not* to be yourself now.” Fear and dread came upon the duck at this request. At the same time, Zuccini turned to Boomer, “Look, I know you have a thing for me, but for now, *please* try to keep your hormones down, just until we can get Fifi back, schplink?” “I—sure, mate,” was all he could reply, also filling with fear and dread. “Or maybe they should stay outside,” said Aurora, crossing her arms and looking angrily at both. “Can we take the risk of bringing them along *knowing* what they’re capable of?” “HEY!” quacked the mallard, suddenly standing in front of them. “I may be egotistical, but even *I* know when to pull the plug on that!” Boomer padded next to him and added, “I may be hormonal, but trust me, Zucs, this isn’t exactly an erotic situation. And if I have to sacrifice my hormones to save Fifi, then so be it! Schplink!!” With a huff, he stomped into the temple, followed closely by Plucky. The others looked at them stomp inside, and Ryoko asked, “Watashi-tachi wa sorera shinrai suru beki desu ka?” [Should we trust them?] “We, like, hope so,” said Shirley, her wingtips crackling with electricity. “Because if we, like, fail because of either of those two, er sum junk, Fifi will, like, very likely have new friends to talk with tonight.” She followed the other two, and the rest followed her. A few moments later, a young human quietly entered the temple as well… No sooner had they entered when they discovered, of all things, a small antique store inside. “Finally, tourists!!” Everyone turned, and saw an old man standing behind a wooden stand of assorted pottery. Upon closer inspection, everyone saw that the man’s eyes were completely white. “Would you like to help a blind man with his tasks?” Everyone looked at each other, shrugged, and decided to help him by sweeping the floor and dusting the items. As they all worked, Bandit was sweeping behind the main counter when he noticed something. A glowing metal chest, wide open, and filled with every type of gold coin in history. *Shiny…* he thought, as his eyes glazed over, his instincts ready to overpower him. But could he grab it and run? How much did it weigh? Could he sneak out of the temple without the others noticing him? How long would it take for the others to notice he was gone? Had the others seen the chest? He “casually” looked around him, and saw that everyone was busy cleaning up. No one was looking at him, so he “casually” continued sweeping until he was right next to the chest. He continued sweeping, and slowly nudged it with his right foot-paw. It moved a bit, so he deduced that it wasn’t that heavy. But could he lift it and carry it out? He continued sweeping, and noticed a doorway right behind him. He looked into it, and saw that there was no door there, and that it led to a corridor that eventually led outside. Yes. This was his perfect chance. If he ducked behind the counter, no one would see him grab the chest, and if he stayed down, no one would see him take it outside. And with the rest wasting their time helping the blind man— The blind man. The Phoenix. Fifi. These “shinies” belonged to the blind man. And would he dare abandon his friends, abandon *Fifi*? Were all the shinies he could get in his lifetime worth the life of his friend? Suddenly, the raccoon-opossum looked at himself. He had already closed the chest, he had it in his arms, and he was hunched over, ready to sneak out the door, like Plucky or Montana would— HE WAS BEHAVING LIKE MONTANA MAX!!! Snapping to his senses, he placed the chest back down, opened it again, straightened up, and continued sweeping, moving out from behind the counter. No one had seen nor heard anything. He paused to wipe some sweat off himself, surprised by the fact that he was sweating— Then, for no reason, the store vanished, revealing the first chamber of the temple. It had a bluish décor, and of course, there were Greek drawings and inscriptions all around. The blind man’s form melted into one that of a human priest, dressed in a white robe. “Well done, lad!” said the priest, walking up to Bandit. “Huh?” he asked, along with everyone else. The priest continued, “You have passed the test of Honesty by resisting the temptation to steal.” “STEAL??!!” growled Babs, stomping toward him. “Were you going to steal something, Bandit??!!” “I was!!” he confessed, whimpering. “I’m part raccoon, I can’t help but grab shiny things!!” The priest then stepped between the two, and looked down at Babs. “He confronted his instincts, even when they overwhelmed him, *and* he confessed his weakness. That makes him qualified to continue. You may not have his weakness: you have your *own*. Think of that before you pass judgment on him. You may pass into the next chamber.” Suddenly feeling like a worm, Babs turned away from Bandit, who still wouldn’t look up. Buster padded up to the doe, and put a comforting arm around her. Aurora, too, held Bandit close as they all moved to the next chamber. They all thanked the man, who disappeared as soon as they all left. The door opened and they went into what looked like an alley. There, they saw a beggar sitting down, pleading, “Alms…alms for the poor…” Upon a closer look, they saw her left leg was bent sickeningly out of shape. Olivia felt sorry for the beggar. Was this temple so old and forgotten that it only served to house the homeless and destitute? She got out a small purse and was about to give her a few Brazilian cents— And stopped. Those cents were of money she had *left over*. And what possible use could this woman have for Brazilian money in *Greece*? Remembering Jeremy, she was suddenly determined not to make the same mistake again. She reached into her purse again, and pulled out pawfuls and pawfuls of gold coins. “Here,” she said, shoving the money into her hands, “I’m a princess, so you have more need of this than I do. Get yourself some food, a doctor, a home, and an education. Do you want us to take you to the nearest hospital?” “She won’t need one,” said the wolf, deciding to give a gift as well, He knelt down, put his right paw on the broken leg, and chanted, “Healing powers of heart and soul, Restore her leg and make it whole.” A white glow surrounded the woman’s leg. Painlessly, it straightened out, and the bones fused back together. No sooner had her leg been healed when the beggar stood, shed her disguise, and revealed herself to be a priestess. She dissolved the alley scenery, revealing the second chamber; this one had a lovely yellow colour décor. She exclaimed, “You have passed the Compassion test in a way that surprised even me! Pass into the next room.” She opened a door on the wall and they went into the next room, and when they did, she disappeared. Johnny padded next to his wife and held her close, “Excellent job, hun,” while kissing her cheek. But as each priest or priestess let them go through, no one heard or smelled one more visitor to the temple following them from a distance. The third chamber looked like a dark cave, and inside there was an ancient Greek knight, complete with a helmet with a t-shaped visor. He was on the floor, however. Everyone gasped when they saw his armour dishevelled and stained with blood, and his shield broken. His breathing was no more than a ragged wheeze. D-Boy bent down and was about to perform another healing spell, when the knight spoke, “Dracon…” “Huh?” asked everyone. The wolf held the knight’s shoulder and said, “It’s okay. We’ll take care of you.” The knight shook his head and repeated, insisting, “*Dracon*!!” Here, Zuccini padded up and commented, “You know, if I didn’t know better, I would say that ‘dracon’ sounds a lot like the word ‘dragon,’ schplink” Everyone was stunned at this, especially because the knight wasn’t being subtitled, so Shirley stepped up and asked, “A dragon did this to you?” The knight apparently ignored the question and said, “Tou dracon…apolesen…basileias mou…ton agona...ou nikao...” “I caught ‘dragon’ and ‘agony’,” said Hamton. “Perhaps a dragon *did* do this to him!” “Makhaira mou…!” Everyone looked down and saw the knight weakly lifting his sword and holding it toward the wolf. “Makhaira mou!!” he repeated, and added. “Thuo…!! Thuo ton dracon…!!!!” D-Boy leaned back a bit, not wanting to figure out that phrase in particular. The rest stood there confused because no one spoke Greek. The knight interpreted this silence as a language problem, so he resorted to what sign language he knew. He held the sword with his right hand and pointed to it, “Makhaira…” then to himself, “…mou!!” “‘My sword’, schplink” quoted Zuccini, still confused. “He’s saying something about his sword.” The knight then held the huge sword by the hilt and made a few stabbing motions while repeating,” “Thuo…!!! Thuo…!!!” He turned and looked at D-Boy’s face, his eyes hidden from him due to his sunglasses, and repeated, “Thuo…ton…dracon!!!” Shirley then stepped up to D-Boy and held his shoulder. “Like, I hate to tell you this, but, like, I sense that he, like, wants you to kill the dragon, er sum junk.” Kill da dwagon? The wolf looked at the knight again, hesitated for a long moment, and finally took the sword from his hands. He stood, turned to the others and said, “Okay, get him out of here and see if you can dress his wounds. I’ll do another healing spell after we take care of the—” The wheezing stopped. And so did all the dialogue. Everyone looked at the dead warrior, and would have prepared an impromptu burial, when the room shook. “Th-that had j-j-just better be an e-e-earthquake!!” shuddered Jinx. The shaking, unfortunately, was periodic with heavy stomping that came from within the cave. Buster, Babs, Hamton, Boomer, Bandit, Aurora, Johnny, and Zuccini nervously pulled out what weapons they knew: mallets. The skunks pulled out their katanas, Sneezer pulled out his pepper, and Shirley powered up her wings. Plucky, however, spin-changed into his Toxic Avenger Costume. This may be a part of himself, but it was a part that for once, did *not* seek his own benefit. The stomping got louder and louder, and finally, they saw it. A red dragon, five metres tall, came out from the dark reaches of the cave. D-Boy held up the sword and growled, “Get ready to dodge! This dragon looks tough!” The dragon suddenly looked at him and blasted a jet of fire at him. The wolf shot back with a jet of ice from his right paw, making both jets burst into steam in the middle of the air. The toons immediately charged and whacked the dragon with their mallets, but it appeared to be made out of stone as the mallets had no effect on it. The dragon turned and saw this nuisance and was about to blast fire at them, but a thunder blast from Shirley distracted it again. D-Boy charged and was about to drive the sword into the dragon’s chest, but it suddenly turned and blasted the sword, melting it instantly. Quickly, he threw the useless hilt away and prepared another ice spell. The skunks, meanwhile had attacked from behind, but their katanas also bounced off the dragon’s hide. The attacks were constant, but they did nothing to stop it. Another thunder blast from Shirley was suddenly deflected by a shield that the dragon placed on itself. “Oh dear, like, this is a *magic* dragon, er sum junk!” she screamed. Sneezer sprinkled pepper on his nose and shot a sneeze blast, but that, too was deflected. Plucky even tried to fly around the dragon so he could whack him on the head, but not only was it ineffective, but the dragon turned and blasted him to ashes, which fell to the ground. The dragon’s shielding was just too strong— Shirley suddenly sensed the shielding weaken momentarily, and immediately shot another thunder blast. But just as suddenly as the shield weakened, it powered up again. Wondering what was causing this, she noticed a bulging orb in the dragon’s chest, which light up and faded as the shield strengthened and weakened, apparently randomly. What could be causing this? Using her psychic powers, she looked around for some sort of sign— Jinx? She turned around, and saw the rat-bat frantically clawing at the suddenly closed door. She would have scolded him, but she knew that cowardice was very much built in to this sad toon. Occasionally Jinx would turn around and use his sonar on the dragon, and then suddenly hush, trembling even more as he returned to clawing at the door, desperate to escape— She didn’t know why, but she closed her eyes, and focused on both Jinx *and* the dragon. […shreak…] […whirrrrr—crackle-crackle—whirrrrrrr…] “JINX!!!” she screamed, running toward the hybrid. He cowered down as much as he could before he replied, “W-what? Don’t hurt me!!” “I’m not gonna, like, hurt you, dummy! Like, your sonar is weakening the dragon’s shield, er sum junk!!” Jinx looked up at her, incredulous, as well as the other toons, though only for a moment, and then they resumed their fight. “Eh?” “Like, you heard me!! Like, shout in ultrasound as loud as you can!!” Trembling, he straightened up, looked at the dragon, and took a shivering breath. [SHREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAK!!!!!!!] [...whir—CRACK!!] For one instant, all the toons finally hit the dragon. An ice blast froze its muzzle shut, but just as soon as Jinx ran out of breath, the shielding powered up again, and the dragon blasted the ice out of its muzzle. “So much for that!!” whimpered Jinx. The loonmaid had another idea, however. “No! Like, that orb in its chest nearly turned black, er sum junk, when you yelled! Like, that must be the source of its power! If you can, like, give it an ultrasound blast right on it—” “But I can’t get near the dragon! No one can!” “Not if you fly really, *really* fast,” said Buster, stepping up to him. “N-no!!” shrieked the rat-bat, clawing at the door again. “I’ve—got to g-g- get outta here!! The dragon will fr-fry me if I get too close!!” “JINX!!” The hybrid turned and looked at Buster. “Jinx, listen to me! You have the only weapon that can kill the dragon!! We’ve come too far now for you to bail out on us!! Please, Jinx, Fifi needs *you* now!” He looked down at the hybrid for a moment, and added, “And you’re not the only one afraid here, either!!” Jinx blinked at the buck. Buster was holding his mallet beside him, but a closer inspection showed that his fur was ruffled, and his paws were shaking. Jinx looked at the rest, and they, too, had terror in their eyes, as well as an annoying trembling in their limbs. D-Boy, too, had his hackles raised, but even the white wolf was showing signs of exhaustion. Along with terror in their eyes, however, there was something else. Anger. Because despite their terror, they were also angry with this monster that had killed the knight, and was currently obstructing their quest to save Fifi— They were doing this for *Fifi*! Jinx turned to Buster, swallowed nervously, and shook, “W-what do I have to do?” Buster picked him up and replied, “Just close your eyes, and shout as soon as I let go of you, okay?” The rat- bat did as he was told, and Buster stepped back. “Okay, guys, at the count of three, give the dragon everything you’ve got!! One—” “Just shout, just shout, just shout—” stuttered Jinx as he squeezed his eyes shut. “TWO—!!” “Just shout, just shout, just shout—” “THREE!!!” An ice blast, a thunder blast, a wind blast, and several resounding whacks made the dragon rear its head. One instant later, Buster, bringing forth all he learned from the Acme Bowl, threw the rat-bat like a football, and Jinx spun toward the dragon’s chest, shrieking like never before. What happened next was a sight to behold. The shielding weakened and disappeared, and just as Jinx was about to hit the orb, it shattered, and Jinx literally flew *through* the dragon, emerging on the opposite side as if he had gone through a thin wall of sand—in fact, instead of splashing through viscera, sand burst from where he hit and where emerged, and then he hit the wall and slid down to the floor. The dragon screamed in pain and stood still as a statue. In fact, it was a statue—of sand, which collapsed. At this, the knight’s body and armour melted away, revealing a priest, and the chamber changed into its true form: a room with red décor. The priest stood, pulled a glass of water out of nowhere and poured it on Plucky’s ashes, who reformed instantly. Then, he walked over to Jinx, and with one touch, the rat-bat returned to consciousness. “Well done, lad,” he told him. “You have passed the test of Valour. Now go into the next chamber and prepare for the next challenge.” The priest then disappeared, and the next door opened. Completely not believing what he had just done, Jinx shakily led the others into the next room. The team found themselves in what looked like a courtroom. A ragged human prisoner, in chains, stood before the judge. Or actually, the judges. Kendo and Ryoko suddenly found themselves sitting on the judge’s bench, looking down at the prisoner. The rest of the toons were seated in the audience section, also looking down at the prisoner. Kendo then noticed a paper in front of him. Unfolding it, he saw that it had the charges brought up against the prisoner, so he read out loud, “You are charged with multiple accounts of first degree toonicide, sexual assault on minors, grand theft, destruction of private property, public property, and firing woods and forests with death of toons resulting. How do—” He stopped himself when he realised that he was supposed to ask that to the defendant. “How do you plea?” he asked him, all this time wondering why he was a judge. The prisoner looked up at Kendo and replied, “Guilty, your honour. Guilty on all accounts.” Kendo didn’t know too much about law, but he did know that if the plea was guilty from the start, no trial or jury selection was actually needed, and the judge proceeded to pass sentence— “Nan watashi-tachi wa ima shimasu ka?” [What do we do now?] asked Ryoko, turning to her brother. “Watashi-tachi wa hanketsu watasu koto boku wa kangaemasu.” [I think we pass sentence.] “Tayasui desu! Watashi-tachi wa kare ni shikei agemasu. Kare ga keiriku matimasu aida, watashi-tachi wa kare ni touhin no ichi akashimasu. Sorekara watashi-tachi wa subete no sonshou no harau shinharai suru tameni kare no zaibutsu torimasu!” [It’s easy! We give the death sentence. While he waits for the execution, we reveal the location of the stolen goods. Then we’ll take his property to pay for all the damages!] Ryoko seemed eager to finish the assignment in this room, and her suggestion seemed like the logical step to take. “Shirimasen. Girisha ni shikei ga arimasu ka?” [I don’t know. Does Greece have the death penalty?] Ryoko frowned and growled, “Sore wa juuyou de arimasu ka? Mitte, satsugai kare ningen to dobutsu no arare koroshi tasho-dake mitashimasu! Soshite kare wa seiteki ni kodomo kougeki shimashita!! Kare wa shinu koto ataishimasu!!!” [Does that matter? Look, the murder charges alone show he killed both human *and* animal characters! And he even sexually assaulted children!! He deserves to die!!!] “Shirimasu, demo—” [I know, but—] “Demo nan ka? Itsu Tengu niyotte koroshimashita okaasan to otousan oboemasu ka? Soshite kono hito wa sorera kara no oya oyobi kodomo, nusumimashita, oyobi hakai shimashita jumyou no shigoto no kachi goukan shimashita, koroshimashita! Kono hito wa Tengu yori warui ku, watashi-tachi ga kare ni tsuite ika ni kanjiru ka anata wa shimasu! Anata wa Tengu ni shikei ataeru koto tameraimasen deshita shitagatte watashi-tachi ga kono hanzaisha keiriku suru koto nan ga fusegimasu ka?” [But what? Remember what Tengu did to mother and father? And this man has raped and killed parents AND children, stole from them, and destroyed lifetimes’ worth of work! This man is worse than Tengu, and you *know* how we feel about him! You wouldn’t hesitate to give Tengu the death penalty, so what prevents us from executing this criminal?] As she said this, Ryoko turned and looked at the prisoner. “Nani?” [What?] Even with all the evil he had done, there was something about the prisoner that the skunks noticed. They remembered the last time they saw Shogun Tengu: his face was twisted in an evil smile as he gloated over the murder of their parents. This guy, on the other paw— His face was filled with anything *but* pride. Sure there was weariness in his eyes, and perhaps fear of his sentencing, but there was also something else. “Your Honours,” said the prisoner, “I repent of my crimes, and am ready for the death I deserve.” This was certainly something new to the skunks. A criminal who *admitted* being a criminal and *accepted* the penalty for the worst crimes of all— Remorse? Was this criminal feeling remorse? And perhaps even— Repentance? No. Repentance was for when you were caught in the act of doing wrong, and you made the decision not to do evil again. This guy was beyond all hope of rehabilitation, much less restitution. How do restore a life? Innocence? Or a forest, even? “Your Honours,” he added. “I realise my actions have destroyed lives, and perhaps I repented too late for them to be saved. I know what I deserve, and I deserve it a hundred times over. I am truly sorry for what I did, but nothing that I feel will bring back those people. I just hope that my execution will serve as a deterrent for others, so that no more lives may be lost. If you wish my death to be slow, so be it, for I deserve it.” No. This prisoner was bringing forth something which both skunks vowed never to feel for a criminal. They both rubbed their heads as they tried to push down this feeling of— Mercy? NO! This piece of scum did NOT deserve to take another breath! He even said so!! He HAD to die! Just like Tengu— Ryoko then realised that the prisoner *wasn’t* Tengu. He was just a man who had *truly* seen his evil ways, and turned from them, and was ready to pay for his actions. “Kendo…” she mumbled, holding his paw. Her brother looked at her, and she continued, “Watashi-tachi ga nanika shisshimashita hodo watashi-tachi wa Tengu nagai ku nikumimashita ka?” [Have we hated Tengu so long that we lost something?] Kendo turned away from her, and whispered, “Shirimasen. Tengu wa yokoshima kara sorasu koto kotowarimasu ga kono hito wa sudeni kuiaratamemashita. Sore ga watashi-tachi ga Tengu ni taishite ikani kanjiru ka desu node watashi-tachi wa mataha ano tsumi no tameni kare ni shikei agetai ka?” [I don’t know. Tengu refuses to turn from evil, but this man already repented. Do we want to give him the death penalty because of his crimes, or because that’s how we feel against Tengu?] Ryoko sobbed for a moment, and looked down at herself. “Zouo ga watashi-tachi no handanryoku bokashimasu, Kendo, atashi wa sore to sumikomitakunai.” [Kendo, if hate obscures our judgement, I do not want to live with it.] The male skunk looked at his sister, and then he turned back to the prisoner, “Are you truly sorry for your actions, and if you could go back in time, would you stop yourself from doing them?” The prisoner replied “Your Honours, if I could go back, I’d also stop *everyone* I knew that influenced me to enter a life of crime. And, I would kill myself if it had to come to that, even if it created a time paradox.” Kendo thought for a while, and said, “If we spare your life, are you willing to reimburse the victims?” “Reimburse?” “All your belongings will be confiscated and sold at auction, and all the proceeds would go to the victims and their families.” “Then I agree,” said the prisoner, “I am even willing to be their servant till I die.” Kendo sat back at this. “Will you be their servant, for alternating time periods, until they declare your debt paid?” “I am willing.” Kendo was thus about to pass sentence, but his sister stopped him. “Ryoko?” he asked. The skunkmaid took the gavel, looked down at the prisoner, and declared, “Watashi-tachi wa sorekara shikei miawasemasu, anata no zaibutsu giseisha kaesu tameni hanbai shite. Anata wa mata anata no shizen-na seimei no nokori no tame no shiyounin dearu tameni kei senkoku shimasu. Anata wa kaku kazoku to anata no kinmu rokukagetsu tsukigotoni kougo ni shimasu. Anata ga moyashimashita shinrin ishoku shimasu tameni kore wa shakaijigyou hukumemasu. Anata wa fudanna busou kanshi no shimoni arimasu. Daremo juu- hachi saimiman anata no juu meetoru inai ni kitarimasen. Kore wa dono shu oyobi nenrei no josei demo hukumemasu. Anata kara no dono utagawashii koudou mo saibansho no keibetsu minashimasu, soshite anata wa yori tehidoi batsu no tameni sugu koko ni mottekimasu. Kono kaitei wa ima owarimasu.” [Then we forego the death penalty and instead sentence you to have your property sold to repay the victims. You are also sentenced to be their servants for the remainder of your natural life. You will alternate your services with each family every six months. This includes community service to replant the forests you burned down. You will be under constant armed surveillance. No one younger then 18 years of age comes within ten meters of you. This includes females of *any* species and *any* age. Any suspicious behaviour from you will be regarded as contempt of court, and you will be brought back here immediately for harsher punishment. This trial now ends.] She banged the gavel, and began weeping. Kendo hugged her, and he, too, wept. It seemed as if they had been freed of hate, finally. Suddenly, the “prisoner” shed his form and showed himself to be another priest, and the chamber changed into its true form, with a green décor. The priest looked at the skunks and said, “Well done. That was the correct way to pass the test of Justice: combining justice with mercy. Now go to the next chamber, and prepare for the next test.” Still sniffling, the gang hugged their new friends and went to the next chamber. The next chamber appeared to be a field dotted with trees. The team stayed close as they padded through, wondering what the next test would be about. Zuccini wondered how this field could be inside the temple, but then decided it could be an illusion, like the other rooms had been. But if they encountered anyone here, would they be real, or would they be priests? Or was there even a priest in disguise here? Being intelligent was slightly annoying in these cases, as her mind *forced* her to look at all the possibilities. Whoever they helped *could* be a priest in disguise, *or* the priest could be hiding and the person could be for real— As she pondered on this, she saw something under a tree. Padding toward it, she saw that lying under the tree was a human woman, about 15 years old— And she was bleeding from her abdomen. Immediately, she ran to the girl and exclaimed, “Schplink, lady! What happened to you?” The humanmaid looked up and was about to reply, but suddenly her eyes widened and she screamed, “BEHIND YOU!!!” The next seconds appeared to flow in excruciating slow motion. Zuccini turned and saw someone who appeared to be Saddam Hussein, Osama Bin-Laden, and Slovodan Milosevic, all rolled into one. And the human was running straight toward them. Holding a very, *very* large spear, aiming right at her. There was no time to fight. And no time to dodge, either, for though Zuccini was quick enough to dodge this, she knew that if she did, the man would pierce the woman instead. Even deflecting the spear was too risky. So, Zuccini took a deep breath, and held her ground, despite the fact that her death would cause the extinction of her kind. She just hoped that the spear would go through her heart and not her lungs or abdomen, because that way she would be able to scream and bring the others here. And knowing the others, they would very likely kill this guy once they saw what happened. Hopefully, the rest would continue with the tests and *perhaps* they would be able to bring her back along with Fifi. “Better me than the girl, schplink,” was the last thing she thought as she closed her eyes and prepared to scream. But the second the spear touched her green fur, the spear and the attacker dissolved into dust. Zuccini opened her eyes and wondered why she didn’t feel any pain. Looking around, she saw dust in front of her, and behind her, the woman had shed her disguise and revealed to be the priestess. The chamber changed into its true form, with an orange décor. “Well done, good maiden!” said the priestess, as the rest ran toward them. “Thou hast passed the test of Sacrifice! Now, go ye into the next chamber, and to thy next test!” The rest looked at Zuccini, completely confused, and she just commented as she led them to the next room, “Uh, I’ll tell you all about it later, okay, schplink?” The rest shrugged and followed her. Boomer was about to put his arm around her, but remembering what he said at the entrance, he held back and just padded behind her. The team found themselves in a Greek throne room, complete with heralds and servants and knights in shining armour. A group of ministers and heralds met the group, and a herald walked up to D-Boy. The wolf was given a crown by the herald, who said, “You have been given the privilege to crown our king.” “King?” he asked. “Greece still has a king?” All looked behind the herald, and saw indeed a young king, in royal robes. Babs padded up to the wolf and said, “Allow me,” while taking the crown. “Anything for royalty.” Babs then padded solemnly toward the king, bowed before him, and said, “As this crown rests on your head, the power over your people and nation now rests on you. Use it to serve your people, and to protect them, and may only the wisest and most pure men counsel you for as long as you live.” Then she placed the crown on his head. No sooner had she done when the king melted away to reveal yet another priest. The throne room vanished, revealing a purple- coloured chamber. “Well done in the test of Honour, good lady!” said the priest. Buster padded up to his girlfriend and hugged her proudly. The priest then opened the door to the next room. He said, “There are two tests left. Godspeed, good friends!” The chamber within held a great banquet hall. At one end of the long table was a beautiful chair, while the other end had a basic, coarse chair, with various average-looking chairs in between. D-Boy, having read about situations like this, went to the base chair, since he wanted other guests to have whichever, and didn’t want others to be embarrassed. The rest of the toons, not knowing what else to do, also seated themselves on the “lowly” end of the table, all except for Plucky. No sooner had he entered the chamber than his eyes saw the beautiful chair on the far end of the table. Instantly, he locked out the rest from his mind, and made a straight line for the beautiful chair. Pompously, he sat, and looked at his friends down the opposite end of the table. Why were they all there? They should have got the good seats when they had their chance! And he certainly didn’t miss this opportunity to get the best seat in the house! Why, this chair was practically fit for a king— Wait, wasn’t a king crowned just now? Wouldn’t he be coming in and demand what he thought he was doing in his chair? No! The king was an illusion!! This whole shenanigan is just an illusion! And illusion or not, he was going to get the best seat in the house. After all, he deserved it! Didn’t he? The looks from the other toons were clearly communicating that he didn’t. And, what *if* someone important came in? A prince or knight, perhaps? Or even yet, more toons who needed the Phoenix’s help? After all, even with all of them here, the table wasn’t filled up. *Like, try _not_ to be yourself now,* echoed Shirley’s words in his head. Was this a time when Fifi needed him to *not* be himself? But this chair was soooooo comfortable!! And that last battle with the dragon had *really* drained him. Why couldn’t he rest here, then? Was someone else going to show up? But even so, what could be the worst that could happen? If someone else showed up and demanded the chair, all he had to do was get up and sit with the others— No. He would *not* be humiliated like that! He would *never* give anyone the chance to humiliate him in front of the rest! Angrily, he got up, and stomped to the opposite end. He looked at the white wolf in his sunglasses, and hissed, “Excuse me, but you’re in my seat.” Blinking for a moment, D-Boy got up and let Plucky have the chair, and he went to sit next to Hamton. Plucky sat, proud of himself. Let’s see anyone humiliate him now! At this point, the host came in, walked up to Plucky, and said, “What are you doing there? Your seat is up here!” The mallard raised an eyebrow. He turned to the host and asked, “Huh?” “Yes! Your seat is farther up!” Completely surprised and confused, Plucky got up and followed the host as he led him down the table again. Before he could sit down, however, the banquet hall vanished into its true form, a brown-coloured chamber. The host changed into the priest of the chamber and told Plucky, “You’ve passed the test of Humility. The final test is the test of Spirituality. Since most of you don’t have that much experience in that, I’ll tell you what the task is. You must battle a dark version of yourself! Good luck!” The team looked at each other with fright, stood, and went to the final chamber. The final room was dimly lit. It was too dim for sunglasses, so D-Boy took his sunglasses off. For the first time, the Tiny Toons and Oddimals saw his true eye colour: blue, as the sky on a clear day. At the end of the chamber was a very long mirror that stretched from wall to wall. The toons padded up to the mirror, wondering what to do now. Much to their surprise, they didn’t have to do anything. Because regardless of everyone’s eye colour, in the mirror, all of their reflections had red eyes. Their Dark Versions! The toons stepped back in fright, but their reflections didn’t step back. Instead, all of them exploded out of the mirror, sending glass shards everywhere, and attacked their counterparts, making everyone scream in terror. D-Boy struck a blow to his anti-self, but the evil mirror image struck the same blow, blocking it. Hit for hit, move for move, whatever D-Boy did, his copy countered. If D-Boy blasted an ice spell, Anti-D-Boy blasted a fire spell. Rock spells were countered by wind blasts. The wolf prayed on how such a creature could be beaten. And the rest of the toons had their hands full, too. Not only were they anti- toons matching every blow, but they added original attacks of their own. Buster and Anti-Buster were trying to whack each other with mallets, and then for no reason, Anti-Buster suddenly grew huge muscles. Strangely enough, he didn’t attack Buster. Instead, he began posing as if he were in a bodybuilding contest. Buster was very surprised at this, and for a moment wondered if he could actually look like that. Anti-Buster took advantage of this hesitation and whacked Buster to the far wall. Babs was too busy with her dark self to do any better. But instead of mallets, Anti-Babs pulled out— A carrot cake? And she didn’t smash it on Babs. Instead, she *ate* the cake. And then Anti-Babs bloated like a balloon. Babs widened her eyes in shock. Anti-Babs then pulled out credit cards out of nowhere and began babbling, “Credit!! Credit for life!! I’ll always be one step ahead of the fashion trends now!!” Babs cowered back, feeling not only mocked, but *attacked* by this display. Could all this be her weaknesses? Anti-Plucky was holding a hand mirror in front of him, looking at himself, chanting, “Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Oh, how I LOVE me!!” Plucky, too, cowered back at this barrage of mockery. Anti-Hamton, however, was fading in and out of visibility. Hamton had no idea how to fight him, because once his anti-self disappeared, he would suddenly re-appear next to him and shove him to the ground, whining, “Why does everyone walk all over me?” Anti-Shirley was blasting Shirley with lightning bolts of negative polarity. This wouldn’t be too bad, except that Anti-Shirley’s appearance was much more reddish, and she had horns on her head as well. “LIKE, I HAVE THE POWER OF THE DARK SIDE, ER SUM JUNK!!!” she cackled, de-centring Shirley like never before. Anti-Sneezer was *absorbing* Sneezer’s blasts and returning them to the mouse. Anti-Boomer was chanting, “KILL ZUCCINI!! KILL ZUCCINI!!” but attacking Boomer. The hybrid, of course, was losing concentration because he kept glancing at Zuccini to make sure she was okay, which she wasn’t. Anti-Zuccini was throwing water balloons at Zuccini. She dodged as best she could, but her anti-self was matching her move for move as well. Anti- Boomer thus took advantage of Boomer’s distractions and whacked him with his mallet. Anti-Bandit was wrestling with Bandit, trying to remove his hat and put it on his own head. Bandit growled and snarled with terror, because his hat hid his hideous head fur. Anti-Jinx had an expression worthy of a Stephen King novel, and he was screaming like a banshee and chasing Jinx all over the room. Jinx was flying for his life, being terrorised like never before. Anti-Aurora was throwing snowballs at Aurora, who, despite being part wolverine, was actually *running* from her dark self. Anti-Olivia was showering herself with gold coins, and babbling, “Duhhhh, I’m the wealthiest otter in the kingdom!! I’m a total airhead but I have money, duhhh!” Occasionally she would throw a coin or two to Olivia at near bullet speeds, which was too shocked at this display to defend herself. Anti-Johnny was using a similar strategy as Anti-Boomer was to fight Johnny without resistance. Anti-Kendo and Anti-Ryoko matched the katana swings effortlessly. Back to Anti-D-Boy, the spells and blows were matched. Until Anti-D-Boy suddenly clamped his jaws on D-Boy’s throat and shook the wolf. It took every ounce of strength from D-Boy to keep from being tossed like a rag. He felt his breath fading as his anti-self tried to shut his jaws on his neck. But this was odd, because even though he was a wolf, D-Boy had long since suppressed his canine fighting instincts such as this one and normally he would do something like this on a rushed impulse— Wait. Was *that* his own weakness? Making sudden moves without thought? And how could he fight this? Any move would be countered by his anti-self. He looked around, and saw everyone fighting losing battles. They had come all this way for nothing. They had failed Fifi. And soon, they, too would be joining her. With his last breath, he mumbled, “Oh, God, help us…” His canine instincts kicked in and he tried to drop to the floor on his back as a sign of submission— ***SUBMISSION?????!!!!!***** Was **that** what this battle was about? Avoiding submission to one’s greatest fears and weaknesses? Submission to the evil creatures they all *could* have been if they had turned to the dark side? “………nnnnnooooooooooo………” mumbled D-Boy, as with his last breath, he brought his paws up and clamped them on Anti-D-Boy’s jaws. He only needed to pry them open a little to gasp and fill his lungs with air once more. Anti-D-Boy struggled and tried to remove his paws from his jaws, but a low kick made him release D-Boy and the anti-wolf went rolling to the floor. “***I REFUSE TO BOW DOWN TO YOU!!!!!***” barked the white wolf. The rest of the team looked at him for a moment, and noticed that his anti- self hadn’t got up yet. D-Boy continued, “I refuse to let you control me!!! You have no power over me!!! I won’t submit to you!!!” Then, with an anger he had never known, D-Boy bent down, grabbed Anti-D-Boy’s head, and began to twist it. Naturally, his dark self growled and struggled, but D-Boy growled back, “You…!!!…Are…!!!…NOT…!!!…***MEEEE***!!!!!!!” One swift twist, and Anti-D-Boy went limp. The rest, seeing the example, knew what they had to do now. The Tiny Toons and the Oddimals, except for Jinx, turned to their anti- selves and went on the offensive. Since they didn’t know how to effectively break someone’s neck for real and since only Boomer, Bandit, Olivia, Johnny, and Aurora were carnivores or part-carnivores, the rest grabbed their counterparts by their necks and squeezed, also declaring their refusal to submit to their fears and weaknesses. The carnivores, of course, did what came naturally and clamped their jaws on their counterpart’s necks. Kendo and Ryoko, meanwhile, declared in Japanese, “Watashi wa anata ni tewatashimasen!!!” [I will not surrender to you!!!] For one instant, their counterparts stopped, stunned at the declaration, and that one instant was all that the skunks needed to slice off their counterparts’ heads. Moments later, all the anti-toons were on the floor, dead. Finally, silence. Except for when Jinx and Anti-Jinx suddenly screamed at each other and sped toward each other in a three-second game of “chicken”. Anti-Jinx was just screaming, but Jinx was screaming, “I refuse to submit!!!” It seemed as if both rat-bats were going to collide head-on in mid air, but at the last second, Anti-Jinx pulled up— —and smashed into the ceiling. The anti-rat-bat fell, and did not get up anymore. Then, everyone noticed a long trench and a pile of dirt beside the fallen anti-toons, one they hadn’t noticed before, for some reason. Lying next to the trench and the dirt were shovels, so the team threw their counterparts on the trench and buried them. As they were doing so, Aurora turned to Jinx and said, “I never knew you had it in you to play ‘chicken’.” “Me neither. But I’m not playing ‘chicken’ again,” he replied. “Why not?” “My dark self will *always* be a coward. That’s how I knew he would be the one to turn at the last moment. I’ll never be that sure about anyone else.” Aurora widened her eyes at that response, and then smiled at her friend. When they had finished, the filled trench vanished and the glass shards flew back to the frame to restore the mirror. And out of the restored mirror came the last priestess. The room soon fully lit into a beautiful white room. “Congratulations,” she said. “You have passed the final test. The test of Spirituality reminded you of your dependence on God and His Wisdom, and to never depend *fully* on your own abilities, no matter how impressive they may be. The others and I had learned from an angel that you seek the Phoenix. Now go. The Phoenix awaits.” A door opened in the mirror, and the team walked saw that it led stairs leading up to a tower. They ran up the tower up to where the stairs led to floor with several windows, and a short corridor that led to two large chamber doors. But just before they could walk through— “You’re not going anywhere.” Everyone turned— “Monty???!!!” gasped the team. “How did you follow us?” hissed Plucky. The brat smirked and replied, “Master X told me you’d be here! I’m going to make sure Fifi never comes back!” D-Boy raised his hackles and was about to pounce on the human, but Kendo and Ryoko held his shoulders. “Watashi-tachi wa kono mondai atsukaimasu.” [We’ll handle this problem.] said Ryoko. Kendo added, “Yes. You will need to save your strength for whatever may happen after this.” “After what?” asked the boy, pulling out a rifle out from his back. Seeing this, D-Boy and Shirley placed a shield around the toons, except the skunks, who just looked at each other, and smiled. Kendo said, “Did you know that our last name is ‘Gekishuu’?” Montana cocked the rifle and aimed at them. “Big deal. My last name is Maximilian, and it’s worth more than your pathetic name!” “Maybe it is, but do you know what our last name means?” “Should I care? Why don’t you go back to the laundromat where you belong??!!” The skunks looked at each other again, turned to Montana, frowned, and Ryoko growled, “Montana no baka!!” [Montana you blockhead!!] Both suddenly jumped, did a paw-stand— —and gave the human a double blast of skunk musk, knocking him through a window and making him fall off the tower. He screamed and fired as he fell, but was only able to hit the ceiling above the team. Monty’s last thought was, “I knew I should’ve bought a helicopter in case this happened.” As he fell, the carnivores and the rest ran to the edge, and Kendo yelled, “Gekishuu means ‘strong odor’, you baka!!!!” Just then, Shadolar billowed in from his dimension, opened a portal to catch Monty, and the boy disappeared in it. As quickly as he had appeared, Shadolar vanished with an evil laugh, which D-Boy heard. He said, “I have a feeling that Master X and Shadolar aren’t done with us yet. But for now, let’s get the Phoenix!” The team cheered and high-fived each other as they opened the doors and entered the chamber. There, they stood in awe at a giant yet beautiful bird. She looked almost like a giant golden eagle, but had various fiery colors on her feathers. And she *did* look as though she had been reborn again and again from the flames. Surely enough…this *was* the Phoenix. “Great Phoenix,” said D-Boy. “We need your aid!” The Phoenix looked down at the toons. “I know, good wolf,” said the noble bird, with a certain Arabic accent. “I have seen the death of thy friend in a vision. But before we bring her back, we must help the homeland of thy friends. For the servant of the demon Shadolar hath released the foul Solar Demons.” “Solar Demons?” the Tiny Toons asked. The Oddimals shuddered at the sound. “The Solar Demons,” explained the Phoenix, “are not true demons. They are special Fire Elementals created by Shadolar to lay waste to any land he chooses. Before we can revive thy friend, we must first rid Acme Acres of this foul menace.” The Phoenix then bent down and said, “Climb on! I can get you to your home much faster than the airbike!” Everyone looked at each other, shrugged, and climbed on the giant bird’s back, except for D-Boy, who ran down the tower and out of the temple to get his airbike. Then, the ceiling parted, and with a flap of her huge wings, the Phoenix took flight and headed west, toward Acme Acres. Chapter 6: Save Acme Acres The Tiny Toons, the Oddimals, and the Phoenix flew to Acme Acres, and D-Boy followed them in his airbike. The team landed in a charred forest at sunset. They gasped as they saw Acme Acres turned into a charred wasteland. “Master X is so going to pay!” snarled Buster. “Both for killing Fifi AND destroying our home!” Montana Max and Master X appeared from a flash of violet light, knocking them back a few feet. Montana Max said, “Hey, we’ll soon have a new Acme Acres here, only it’ll be called ‘Montana Max’s Metropolis!’ Tons of expensive attractions for the rich! And free parking, too! The only ones who I will answer to are Master X and Shadolar!” Master X said, “Looks like you’ve lost! But don’t be sad, for you will soon join the skunkwhore!” D-Boy growled, “I don’t think so!” At that, he performed a move he did before. He charged up and said, “Kamehame-HA!!!” The impact knocked him back. “Curse you, boy!” snarled the jackal. The toons, Oddimals, and wolf went into hiding in the forest to plan their next move. The Phoenix flew up and out of sight, until it was safe to come back down. “Before we can handle these clowns,” said D-Boy, “we need to handle the Solar Demons. Any plans?” Shirley said, “Well, they’re, like, special Fire Elementals, er sum junk. So if we can, like, get them in one spot, you could, like, snuff ‘em out with a magic rain spell, er sum junk.” D-Boy said, “I learned a Rainstorm Spell prior to going to the Rocky Mountains. I learned it from Witch Hazel.” “Right! So, you guys lure them to near the Looniversity, or what’s left of it. I’ll use the Rainstorm Spell from the clock tower.” The gang nodded as they ran from the hiding places, prepared to lure the Solar Demons to their destruction. Buster and Babs threw rotten carrots at some of the monsters located near the ruins of a mall, enticing them to follow. Plucky and Shirley quacked mockingly at some demons found at what was once the swamp. Hamton found some demons near what was his house and taunted them, saying, “You can’t roast a weenie, let a lone a pig!” Johnny and Olivia splashed at some, just enough to get them to pursue the two otters. Zuccini and Boomer said to some demons at the airport ruins, “Hey, smoke breath! Your mama was a Bic lighter!” The enraged fire monsters pursued. Kendo and Ryoko find some Solar Demons near a studio and shouted, “Orakana hi no souzoubutsu!” [Stupid Fire Creatures!]. The irritated fire monsters pursued the Japanese skunks. Soon, all the Solar Demons gathered near the Looniversity clock tower. The teams of Toons and Oddimals soon got out of the way as the Solar Demons gathered. D-Boy then chanted, “Angels of the rain, on you I call, Clouds that cause the rain to fall, Hear my voice; make your thunder peal, Extinguish the fire, and this land heal! RAINSTORM!!!” At that, nimbus clouds formed all around. Rain started pouring like mad, and the Solar Demons were extinguished, leaving only their ashes behind. Each one screamed as they shrank and then went out as a candle flame, into smoke and ashes. Once the last Solar Demon was snuffed out, the sky cleared, with a rainbow in the sky. But the sky suddenly darkened again, and it wasn’t with rain clouds this time. Montana Max and Master X emerged from a portal to where the team was. Shadolar, enraged that his Solar Demons were destroyed, sent Montana Max and Master X to attack. And this time, both were “super-charged”. Master X said, “Surprised! Now Monty also has magical powers as well, courtesy of my master, Shadolar!” “We can still take you out, with or without elementals!” growled the rich brat as they prepared for combat. Kendo said, “The Tiny Toons, Ryoko, and I will handle Montana Max!” D-Boy said, “And the Oddimals and I will take Master X!” A battle soon ensued. Fifi and Jeremy cheered their friends on from heaven! Monty growled, “How do you like the new improved me? Now with special powers over the elements, I can rule not only Acme Acres, but other areas of the world as well, as long as Master X and Shadolar allow me!” At that, Monty noticed a lightning bolt from Shirley and countered with an Earth Shield. Mouthing a phrase inaudible to the toons’ ears, Monty summoned a rocky shield that blocked the lightning bolt. “So… you sold out Acme Acres for your own self interest!” growled Buster. “You dirty traitor!” added Babs. “I’ve been called worse!” replied Montana Max as he prepared another attack. He transformed into a fire monster. Montana then chanted, “Powers of the Dark Domain, transform me into a creature of flame!” Flames surrounded his body and he soon became a Fire Elemental. This wasn’t as powerful as a Solar Demon, but enough to pose a threat. Plucky threw a water balloon while Monty’s back was turned. Monty roared in pain, and steam came out of his back. The Toons then decided to attack when he was at a contrary element. Kendo told them, “Earth is vulnerable to Fire, Fire is weak against Water, Water falls to Air—and that includes Thunder—and Air is thwarted by Earth!” Ryoko cheered, “Watashi-tachi wa mada katsu koto ga dekimasu! Akiramenai de!” [We can still win! Don’t give up!] Monty decided to combine some elements, with Water Shield and an Earth form. Shirley just zapped the Water Shield, vaporizing it completely, and Ryoko threw a firecracker (she found one that wasn’t lit already when she lured the Solar Demons to the clock tower) at the Earth form, cracking the shell and making it fall off. After a relatively short battle, Monty fell, unconscious and defeated. D-Boy and the Oddimals, meanwhile, battled the evil jackal, in an area opposite of where Kendo, Ryoko, and the Toons were fighting Monty. “Now, Olivia,” snarled Master X, “You shall finally pay for what you did to my brother! For it was you who allowed him to die in that one alley at the hands of thieves! Had you not been so stuck-up, he would still be alive! It’s your fault he’s dead!” Olivia said, “Look, what’s done is done! Killing me will not bring back your brother!” There was one thing that came out of that tragedy, otterwhore!” growled the jackal. “I found my destiny! I discovered my true master, Shadolar! Together, we will torment this planet until either it submits to us or until it is destroyed, whichever comes first!” “Wrong, X!” yelled Zuccini. “We’ll never surrender to you, schplink!” Boomer said, “Even if people are selfish, they still have some good in them!” Olivia said, “It may have taken me a while for the good in me to come, but it did.” Johnny said, “And it took me a while to admit my love for Olivia, but it too eventually came out!” Bandit said, “Though some people have problems, with the help of true friends, they can overcome!” Jinx said, “Thanks to D-Boy, I learned that courage isn’t the opposite of fear…it is the willingness to go on despite the fear!” Aurora growled, “We learned from D-Boy’s example of the various virtues, and we’ll do our best to live them out as well. We may make mistakes, and I know I’ve made my share of them as well, but we can confess our errors and do what we can to make things right!” D-Boy said, “You can try to turn the past against us, but we know that it has been forgiven!” The wolf then said to his team, “All right everyone! For Fifi! One… two… THREE!” The gang combined their attacks and knocked down Master X. With a bright glow from D-Boy, they all charged like comets and connected their blows and knocked him back. He fell to the ground faster than he could say “Oof!” Master X and Monty were down, but not out. At that moment, Shadolar appeared from a green lightning bolt and, after restoring Master X’s consciousness, said, “LEAVE THISSSS TO ME!!!” Master X picked up Monty and they leapt to a ledge on the mountain near the Looniversity. Shadolar then made a special blast that knocked out all except D-Boy (a glowing shield surrounded D-Boy… one that the wolf didn’t conjure up himself). “Eh?” asked D-Boy, looking at everyone, “What happened? How come I wasn’t KO’ed with the rest of the Tiny Toons and Oddimals?” He then looked up and saw why…the Phoenix had protected him with the aforementioned shield. “Do not be afraid,” said the Phoenix, “Thy friends are still alive. Listen, to make it safe for me to resurrect thy skunk friend, thou must first battle Shadolar.” The Phoenix brought the others out of their unconsciousness with a song only Phoenixes knew and all became super-charged themselves as a beam of light from heaven shone down on them! “All right gang! Let’s take out Shadolar!” said Buster. Buster and Babs swatted with mallets at the monster. Plucky fought in the guise of the Toxic Revenger, zooming around and striking fist blows on the shadow serpent. Shirley used various spells, as did D-Boy Whitewulf, spells of Holy Energy, which is the greatest weakness of a creature of darkness. Kendo and Ryoko attacked with katanas enchanted by the wolf; the wolf placed Holy Energy on the blades, and this allowed the swords to inflict damage on any demonic creature. The Oddimals also fought the demon, each in their own way. Zuccini tossed orbs of light (provided by Shirley; Zuccini stored the orbs into her pouch). Boomer did a couple of punches on the monster. Johnny and Olivia did various “ballet-style” attacks on the demon. Jinx made supersonic noises at the monster, distorting his vision. And Bandit, with his tail charged by D-Boy, whipped the monster. Eventually the Toons, Oddimals, and wolf soon vanquished the enemy. Shadolar, panting and wheezing, shouted, “IMPOSSSSIBLE! HOW COULD YOU BE ABLE TO DAMAGE ME?! NO MATTER!!! WE SSSHALL MEET AGAIN!!! THISSS I VOW!!!” Shadolar fell back into his portal. Master X jumped in (since the portal was in the air, and large enough), and the vacuum from the portal pulled Monty in as well, since he was very close to it. “AAAIIIIIEEEEE!!!” screamed Monty as he was pulled into the portal. His screams faded as the portal closed. “Looks like Shadolar’s dimension is Monty’s new forwarding address,” joked Plucky. Everyone laughed. The Phoenix said, “Well done! Now, as I promised, thy friend shall return.” The Phoenix flew to the memorial at the beach, and perched near the pillar. In heaven, the angel said, “Well, Fifi, time to return to the mortal plane.” Fifi said, “I know. I will miss this place, but I look forward to returning to it.” Jeremy said, “I look forward to seeing you again too! Perhaps when you come back, we can play together in your mansion!” Fifi waved farewell as she prepared for her resurrection. The Phoenix said, “By the powers of Heaven that the Creator bestoweth upon me, I return to among the living…JOSEPHINE ‘FIFI’ LAFUME!!!” In a fiery flash of light, the pillar vanished, and in its place stood Fifi, alive and well! “Fifi! You’re back!” D-Boy cheered. Kendo and Ryoko introduced themselves to the French skunk maid. Fifi bowed to them as they did. Buster, Babs, Plucky, and the rest of the Tiny Toons embraced their French friend. The Oddimals also welcomed back their friend. The Phoenix rose up to the sky and said, “I must return to Greece, but if ye need me again, I shall prepare for thy need. Farewell, where ever thou farest!” The Phoenix then vanished. At that moment, Olivia had a vision…a vision of Jeremy, Julius’ brother. Olivia felt nervous at first. Jeremy said, “Don’t worry Olivia… all is forgiven. I visited my brother many times before in dreams and visions, but he is unwilling to change. He just made stuff up about destiny and such. Anyway, I hope when you get to heaven, you can play with me.” Olivia just shed a tear and smiled. Jeremy returned to heaven. EPILOGUE A purple skunkmaid was about to go to sleep for tonight, as was evident from her pink robe, her headfur curlers, and her slippers. But before she did, she had to do something first. She padded to a bookshelf, and pulled out a blue Book. She then padded back to her couch/bed/seat, laid down, opened the Book near the end, and read a particular passage: “Et il me transporta en esprit sur une grande et haute montagne. Et il me montra la ville sainte, Jérusalem, qui descendait du ciel d’auprès de Dieu, ayant la gloire de Dieu. Son éclat était semblable à celui d’une pierre très précieuse, d’une pierre de jaspe transparente comme du cristal. Elle avait une grande et haute muraille. Elle avait douze portes, et sur les portes douze anges, et des noms écrits, ceux des douze tribus des fils d’Israël—” Um, sorry. She was reading it in French. In English, it more or less said this: “And he carried me away in the spirit to a great and high mountain, and shewed me that great city, the holy Jerusalem, descending out of heaven from God, Having the glory of God: and her light was like unto a stone most precious, even like a jasper stone, clear as crystal; And had a wall great and high, and had twelve gates, and at the gates twelve angels, and names written thereon, which are the names of the twelve tribes of the children of Israel: On the east three gates; on the north three gates; on the south three gates; and on the west three gates. And the wall of the city had twelve foundations, and in them the names of the twelve apostles of the Lamb. And he that talked with me had a golden reed to measure the city, and the gates thereof, and the wall thereof. And the city lieth foursquare, and the length is as large as the breadth: and he measured the city with the reed, 12,000 stadia [1,500 mi / 2,200 km]. The length and the breadth and the height of it are equal. And he measured the wall thereof, 144 cubits [200’ / 65 m], according to the measure of a man, that is, of the angel. And the building of the wall of it was of jasper: and the city was pure gold, like unto clear glass. And the foundations of the wall of the city were garnished with all manner of precious stones. The first foundation was jasper; the second, sapphire; the third, a chalcedony; the fourth, an emerald; The fifth, sardonyx; the sixth, sardius; the seventh, chrysolite; the eighth, beryl; the ninth, a topaz; the tenth, a chrysoprasus; the eleventh, a jacinth; the twelfth, an amethyst. And the twelve gates were twelve pearls; every several gate was of one pearl: and the street of the city was pure gold, as it were transparent glass. And I saw no temple therein: for the Lord God Almighty and the Lamb are the temple of it. And the city had no need of the sun, neither of the moon, to shine in it: for the glory of God did lighten it, and the Lamb is the light thereof. And the nations of them which are saved shall walk in the light of it: and the kings of the earth do bring their glory and honour into it. And the gates of it shall not be shut at all by day: for there shall be no night there. And they shall bring the glory and honour of the nations into it. And there shall in no wise enter into it any thing that defileth, neither whatsoever worketh abomination, or maketh a lie: but they which are written in the Lamb’s book of life. And he shewed me a pure river of water of life, clear as crystal, proceeding out of the throne of God and of the Lamb. In the midst of the street of it, and on either side of the river, was there the tree of life, which bare twelve manner of fruits, and yielded her fruit every month: and the leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations. And there shall be no more curse: but the throne of God and of the Lamb shall be in it; and his servants shall serve him: And they shall see his face; and his name shall be in their foreheads. And there shall be no night there; and they need no candle, neither light of the sun; for the Lord God giveth them light: and they shall reign for ever and ever…” As she read on, she smiled, knowing that she had a wonderful memory few mortals are given the privilege of having. She would miss that place terribly, but she knew she would one day see it again. She had many things to do on Earth, as did her friends, and now, knowing what her reward would be, she would do everything in her power to accomplish her assignments as best she could. And then, on one sweet, sweet someday, she would go there once again, to stay for all eternity. She then twisted around, and pressed play on her small tape deck. A song played, and a man and a woman sang. The chorus of the song went like this, *Oh my heart’s been burning, My soul keeps yearning, Sometimes I can hardly wait For that Sweet, sweet someday, When I’ll be swept away To another Time and another Place…* The song played on, and Fifi closed the Book. She held it close to her, and looked up, smiling. She would return, one sweet, sweet Someday… CREDITS The Tiny Toons are © Warner Brothers. Used without permission. The Oddimals are © Brooke Michelle. Used with permission. D-Boy Whitewulf, Shadolar, and Julius Jackal/Master X are © Daniel Wheeler. Dragonball Z © It’s respective owner Starring in order of appearance: Tress MacNeille as Babs Tom Kenny as Boomer Charles Adler as Buster Ian James Corlett as Johnny Joe Alaskey as Plucky Anthony Daniels as Bandit The J.A.M. as Jinx Brooke Michelle as Zuccini Kath Soucie as Fifi LaFume B.J. Ward as Aurora Jim Byrnes as Shadolar Jim Cummings as Julius Jackal/Master X Daniel Wheeler as D-Boy Whitewulf Kath Soucie as Little Sneezer Megumi Hayashibara as Ryoko Kyle Hebert as Kendo Jaleel Smith as Jeremy Lance Henricksson as the angel Gerard DePardeu as the badger Alyson Court as Olivia Gail Matthius as Shirley The Loon Danny Cooksey as Montana Max Frank Welker as the first priest Susan Blu as the second priestess Kirk Cameron as the third priest Dan Hennessey as the fourth priest Kathleen Helppie-Shippley as the fifth priestess James Earl Jones as the sixth priest Nathan Lane as the seventh priest Charlotte Rae as the eighth priestess and Carol Bach y Rita as the Phoenix Angel designed by Pat Brady. “Zankoku na Tenshi no TE-ZE” (Cruel Angel Thesis) is © 1997 Gainax, I think. Performed by Megumi Hayashibara, originally from “Neon Genesis Evangelion”. Used without permission. “Another Time and Another Place” is © Myrrh Records 1996. Performed by Sandi Patty and Wayne Anderson. Used without permission. Special thanks: “Power Bible CD”, © 2001 Online Publishing, Inc., for the Luis Segond Translation 1910, and the King James Translation 1960. Lightning Roberts, for the voice info. Takayama Miyuki, for the lyrics of “Zankoku na Tenshi no TE-ZE” (Cruel Angel Thesis), of which the translation is as follows: Zankoku na tenshi no you ni [Like a cruel angel] Shounen yo shinwa ni nare [young boy, become the legend!] Aoi kaze ga ima [A blue wind is now] Mune no DOA wo tataite mo [knocking at the door to your heart, and yet] Watashi dake wo tada mitsumete [you are merely gazing at me] Hohoende’ru anata [and smiling] Sotto fureru mono [Something gently touching] Motomeru koto ni muchuu de [you’re so intent on seeking it out] Unmei sae mada shiranai [that you can’t even see your fate yet] Itaike na hitomi [with such innocent eyes] Dakedo itsuka kidzuku deshou [But someday I think you’ll find out] Sono senaka ni wa [that what’s on your back] Haruka mirai mezasu tame no [are wings that are for] Hane ga aru koto [heading for the far-off future.] Zankoku na tenshi no TE-ZE [The cruel angel’s thesis] Madobe kara yagate tobitatsu [will soon take flight through the window] Hotobashiru atsui PATOSU de [with surging, hot pathos] Omoide wo uragiru nara [if you betray your memories] Kono sora wo daite kagayaku [Embracing this sky [universe] and shining] Shounen yo shinwa ni nare [young boy, become the legend] Zutto nemutte’ru [Sleeping for a long time] Watashi no ai no yurikago [in the cradle of my love] Anata dake ga yume no shisha ni [The morning is coming when you alone will be called] Yobareru asa ga kuru [by a messenger of dreams] Hosoi kubisuji wo [Moonlight reflects off] Tsukiakari ga utsushite’ru [the nape of your slender neck] Sekai-juu no toki wo tomete [Stopping time all throughout the world] Tojikometai kedo [I want to confine them, but] Moshimo futari aeta koto ni [So if two people being brought together by fate] Imi ga aru nara [has any meaning] Watashi wa sou jiyuu wo shiru [I think that it is a "bible"] Tame no BAIBURU [for learning freedom] Zankoku na tenshi no TE-ZE [The cruel angel’s thesis] Kanashimi ga soshite hajimaru [The sorrow then begins] Dakishimeta inochi no katachi [You held tight to the form of life] Sono yume ni mezameta toki [when you woke up from that dream] Dare yori mo hikari wo hanatsu [You shine brighter than anyone else] Shounen yo shinwa ni nare [Young boy, become the legend] Hito wa ai wo tsumugi nagara [People create history] Rekishi wo tsukuru [while weaving love] Megami nante narenai mama [Even knowing I’ll never be a goddess or anything like that] Watashi wa ikiru [I live on] Zankoku na tenshi no TE-ZE [The cruel angel’s thesis] Madobe kara yagate tobitatsu [will soon take flight through the window] Hotobashiru atsui PATOSU de [with surging, hot pathos] Omoide wo uragiru nara [if you betray your memories] Kono sora wo daite kagayaku [Embracing this sky [universe] and shining] Shounen yo shinwa ni nare [young boy, become the legend]