Rite Of Passage Part IV
By Dark Helmet
darkhelmet47@hotmail.com

      The room was dark except for one small light in the corner. The old
man sat with his hand in front of Shirley's face. "Just let your memories
go blank. I was never here. You never saw me in your house. I am just the
same old man you have seen around Acme Acres," the old man said in a soft
voice to Shirley the Loon. Shirley had entered a hypnotic state. Her eyes
had turned to black spirals, her expression was blank and she was staring
straight ahead and not blinking. She nodded after everything the man said.
"Excellent. In five minutes I want you to wake up. I'll be seeing you soon
Shirley." He then stood up and walked out of the room leaving the dazed
Shirley alone.
      "I just remembered something," Shirley's mother said to him.
"Couldn't you hypnotizing her be interference?" Mrs. Loon flashed a smug
smile at the elderly gentleman after saying what she believed was a good
point.
      "Not at all. I knew before I came into the house that the second
Marshall saw me he would leave the house without me doing anything. I didn't
force him to leave. It is just like purposely separating them is not
interference because it only changes an unfortunate sidebar to Shirley and
Marshall's rite of passage and not the central process. I know the
consequences for interference. You do too, don't you?" Mrs. Loon's smile
disappeared and she nodded in acknowledgement. "Excellent. I'll be going
now. She should be down in a few minutes without any recollection of me
being here. Next time I shouldn't have to come in here and do for you what
you should already do yourself." He then stepped out the door and walked
away from the suburban house.

      Mrs. Loon's face started to turn dark red."Center yourself honey,"
her adoring husband told her. He then walked over and placed his arm around
her. "Look, I know this isn't what you want to hear right now, but I was
thinking maybe we should listen to him." Mrs. Loon forcefully pushed him
away and gave him a frigid glare.
      "Are you insane?" she shrieked at him.
      "Hey! When Marshall first got here and started coming to our door
disguised as a police officer among the other strange things he did you
weren't his biggest fan, either."
      "That was different. That was when I had no idea what the story with
him was. If you could take one second to read you daughter's mind you would
know that somewhere in there he is starting to mean something to her and I
won't take that away from Shirley!" She then stormed out of the room and
slammed the door behind her. Mr. Loon sighed and turned around to see his
teenage daughter walking down the stairs with a confused look on her face.
      "Like what is all the screaming about?" Shirley inquired as she
stepped off the stairs and into the kitchen. Her father walked over to her
and quickly assured her that it was nothing. Shirley looked at him with a
suspicious expression on her face but she didn't ask any more questions
before she returned to bed.

      Back at the Acme Hotel Marshall started to organize a large group of
papers spread across his bed. He muttered to himself as he placed them in
different piles. Each one reminded him of the time he had spent with the
different toons. "That should be good," he said as he placed the last few
crumpled pieces of paper into a stack. "I think I owe this to Shirley.
After all, she is the first case where the toon might actually care what I
think I know." He then placed them all into an enormous envelope and walked
out of his room, down the red-carpeted stairs and onto the cold and dirty
streets of downtown Acme Acres.
      "Hold it right there!" a familiar voice called to Marshall as he
walked in the direction of Shirley's home. Marshall looked down and spotted
a very angry looking green duck standing right in front of him and blocking
his path. Marshall's face changed to his usual smirk as he prepared to speak
with Plucky.
      "How did that love potion work out for you?" Marshall asked as he
resisted the urge to laugh. Plucky's frown grew larger and his face started
to change color.
      "You know perfectly well how it worked out!" Plucky shouted. "You
may think you're funny now, but you just wait. Nobody messes with the star
of Tiny Toon Adventures!"
      "I didn't do anything to Buster or Babs," Marshall interjected.
      "I'll get you back bub!" Plucky declared. Marshall didn't even
pretend to look afraid. "You can't outsmart me again!" As Marshall's eyes
glazed over at the sound of Plucky's threats he noticed an open manhole over
right next to the sidewalk the two were standing on. The tall tern pointed
to the side and Plucky looked over. Marshall extended one arm, shoved the
duck into the sewer and continued walking.
      After dropping Plucky in the sludge Marshall continued his walk that
now lead him past Acme Mart Groceries, a gigantic store with two clear
sliding doors at the entrance. As he stepped by this store a large ringing
sound was emitted and red flashing lights shone on him.
      "Congratulations!" a tall man in a plaid suit wearing a goofy smile
exclaimed as he ran outside. A large entourage of toons all with goofy
smiles accompanied him. Many were carrying balloons or throwing confetti and
each one was looking directly at him.
      "Are they giving out free samples of Prozac or something in there?
All of you should not be smiling this much," Marshall commented as he looked
more closely at one of them," or this wide. What exactly are you very
strange people doing and why does it involve standing in front of me?"
      "You're our one millionth passer by!" the plaid clad man bellowed.
"You've won this lifetime supply of salmon – flavored dental floss! We just
need for you to come inside and fill out the paperwork to claim your prize.
That should only take three or four hours." Marshall raised one eyebrow at
this person and tried to walk forward to get away from this mob but there
were now hundreds of people on each side. His first impulse was to teleport
out of there. The blue light that accompanied his teleportation started, but
quickly faded and made a sound like the sputtering of an engine. He tried it
again but this time absolutely nothing happened. Marshall quickly thought of
another way out,
      "Sorry! I don't have time for this!" he called from the air. Marshall
was now flying a few feet about the crowd. He then darted off continuing in
the direction of Shirley's house. "I'm lucky flying isn't a psychic power
or I'd be in trouble right now. Up here at least I'm safe."
      Just as he said this Marshall crashed into the side of a towering oak tree.
He was flattened by the impact and he fell straight to the ground in a
circular shape. Marshall returned himself to his original shape and then
took stock of his surroundings. He could see below him was a great deal of
trash. He looked up and saw a dirty, green, metal lid above his head. He had
landed in a dumpster. "This has got to be the single worst trip I have ever
taken in my life. If one more bad things happens I'll just go home for
tonight because this is ridiculous." Just as he said this he heard a sound
that resembled a door swinging open. Marshall gazed over the side to see
what the sound was and he quickly noticed that the ground below the dumpster
had opened up. Just he saw the hole he thought about what a terrible twist
this was on an old cartoon cliché. The dumpster then descended and landed in
the sewers, creating a large splash and covering Marshall in terrible
smelling green liquid. Without saying another word he flew out of there. As
he exited he noticed Plucky near the entrance. "Hey Duck! It's been half an
hour! Why are you still down here? Are you looking for a turtle you lost as
a child or something?" Plucky didn't say anything but did stop walking and
started flying as he noticed Marshall was doing it.

      Later back at the Hotel room Marshall finally thought of a way to get
the documents to Shirley without putting his life at risk. To his amazement
the documents had not become dirty or damaged in any way despite what
Marshall had just gone through. Marshall stopped and marveled at this for a
moment before picking up the phone. "Acme Delivery? I need to send a
package." As soon as he said this Marshall heard a knock at his hotel room
door. He opened it to see Beeper standing before him. Marshall passed over
the papers to Beeper's outstretched tongue and the red roadrunner was off
like a shot towards Shirley's house.

      "What is all this stuff? And why does it smell so bad?" Shirley asked
herself as she took the papers from Beeper. She then handed over a couple of
dollar bills and thought to herself how it must be from Marshall because
nobody else would send it postage due. She ran right up to her room and
started searching through the contents. Inside she found a list labeled
"symptoms" that described what is happening to the people and how many it
happened it. There was also a list of theories. "I totally hate to admit
it," Shirley said as she kept looking through the papers," but Marshall has
done his homework." She then reached the specific cases. There were twelve
of them in total. She read over each one carefully hoping to find one that
even sounded a little like her, but all she found was that each one of them
was very different. One file was different because the writing was much
smaller and there was a small mustache that it looked like somebody had
drawn in pen over the girl's picture.
      Shirley finally finished after another fifteen minutes had elapsed.
"I wonder why he just didn't bring this stuff by himself," Shirley thought to
herself after finishing up. "I would have liked to go over it with him or
some junk.
      "I didn't bring it over myself because things just kept trying to
flatten me along the way," Marshall's voice said. A very surprised Shirley
took a look around the room to see if he had come in without her knowing but
he was not there. "Oh by the way, you're hearing me in your mind."
      "What are you talking about? Stop hiding! You're totally freaking me
out!" Shirley said. "Where could he be?" she thought.
      "I just told you. You're hearing me in your mind. And before you
point it out I know neither of us could telepathically speak before."
Shirley stopped and looked around her room for a few more seconds before she
finally accepted that he was telling her the truth.
      "How are you doing this?" she asked him.
      "I don't have a clue. For the last fifteen minutes I've been jumping
from brain to brain with no control. I guess I just lucked out now."
      "Speak for yourself," Shirley answered. "I do not want anybody
tuning into my thoughts."
      "Well I can't help it. Besides I would guess that we could have a
two-way conversation like this then you could be mind hopping any minute
now. You know what…" he started to think right before Shirley's mind was
filled with what sounded like static from a television and she couldn't hear
him. Between spurts of white noise Shirley thought she heard Marshall think
goodbye, but she wasn't sure.
      "I couldn't come up with anything more boring if I tried," said the
next voice Shirley heard. She recognized it as Daffy's. "Elmer has gone on
for two hours now about the school and teaching. This is cruel and unusual
punishment. I wish I knew how to sleep with my eyes open during these stupid
meetings like Bugs does." Shirley chuckled a little at hearing another
teacher complaining about the boring droning of Professor Fudd just like a
student would.
      Over the next half an hour Shirley uncontrollably entered several
different minds. She tapped into was Elmyra, but the only thing she could
pick up on was the image of tumbleweed moving across a desert and a hamster
running in a wheel. "I totally do not think this is the most interesting
mind to look at," Shirley said to herself as she was connected to Elmyra's
brain for what seemed like an eternity, but was really only about three
minutes.
      After the connections finally came to a halt the rest of the night
passed peacefully for both Marshall and Shirley. However things were a
little different the following day at Acme Looniversity.

      "This morning was a total disaster!" Shirley said as she sat down
between Fifi and Buster at the start of lunch. "I haven't been able to hear
a single word anybody has said to me all morning. All I keep hearing is what
people are thinking."
      "Ze problem you talked about last night has returned?" A concerned
Fifi asked.
      "Like oui Fifi. I'm getting a major headache from all the clutter
from other people's brains in my mind. It seems to have stopped right now,
but when I'm in sitting in a classroom it messes with my mind big time."
      "Try to be around those of us who don't think too much," Buster
suggested. "Sitting at the same table as Plucky was a good start." Shirley
laughed a little despite how Plucky did not look very amused at this
comment.
      "This is serious. My next class is Daffy's and he already thinks I'm
a little strange," Shirley explained.
      "He isn't the only one," Plucky commented under his breath.
      "I totally don't think he wants me in his class after that time I
accidentally zapped him. If I can't hear a single thing he is saying that
will be an excuse for him to kick me out of his class."
      "Don't worry mon ami," Fifi assured her. "I'll help vous."
      "Of course you will. After all, why would Shirley want my help? Why
would she even talk to me?" Babs thought to herself. Just as she thought
this Shirley tuned into Babs' mind. The loon was more than a little
surprised to hear Babs think this. Her mouth turned down a little but she
didn't say anything.

      The bell rang in an empty classroom and seconds later the seats were
all full with the thirty or so students in Daffy's class. Shirley and Fifi
sat next to each other and started to discuss how they were going to make
this plan work.
      "What's your brilliant idea?" Shirley asked the purple skunk.
      "It iz simple. I'll just pass you notes about what he iz saying,"
Fifi explained. Shirley thought it seemed simple enough and stared at the
front of the classroom as if she was paying attention to what Daffy was
saying. Surely enough as soon as Daffy started to say something Shirley's
mind immediately tuned into the thoughts of others as if their brainwaves
were radio stations.
      "I see that the Loon showed up today," Daffy thought. "I hoped that
after what happened at the dance she could take at least one day off. Who
knows who she might fry next?" Shirley frowned when she perceived this
thought. Soon after she heard that clearly and distinctly the thoughts of
the rest of the room started to pick up. Three minutes later Shirley's head
was filled with a mind – boggling mass of voices and sounds. She still
stared blankly at the front of the room trying to appear like she was
listening.
      "This should help vous," Fifi said as she passed a piece of paper
over to Shirley. Shirley looked down and forced herself to read it despite
all of the other sounds and thoughts that were distracting her. Minutes
later Fifi handed over another piece of paper but this time Daffy spotted
her.
      "No passing notes in my classroom!" Daffy declared. Shirley couldn't
hear him say it but she could tell by the angry look on his face as Daffy
approached the back of the room that he saw the note. The professor quickly
grabbed all papers off the desks of both of them, said something
incoherently while spitting all over the two, and then he walked back up to
the front of the room.
      Daffy verbally explained a cartoon scenario and then looked carefully
around the room. "Who can tell me what should happen next… Shirley?"
Shirley couldn't hear this but she noticed Daffy and most of the rest of the
class staring at her as if waiting for an answer after a few seconds. The
loon immediately turned her head and looked at Fifi for an answer. Fifi
started to try and make some subtle signals with her hands to tell Shirley
the answer. After trying to figure out what the skunk was doing Shirley just
threw her arms straight up in the air in frustration.
      "That's correct!" Daffy said in an astonished tone. Shirley actually
managed to hear that part. "The answer is Plucky would score the touchdown
and then get tackled by seven three hundred pound players on the other team.
Most people wouldn't have given me the answer in the form of a hand signal,
though." Minutes after this exchange the thoughts from others slipping into
Shirley's head slowed down and then finally stopped completely.
      "Fifi," Shirley whispered to the seat next to her. "I think the
telepathy has finally stopped. I can actually hear talking again."
      "I can hear talking too," Daffy stated from the front of the room.
"I'll see you two after school for interrupting my class for the millionth
time!" Both of them sighed but neither one bothered to argue.

      Three o'clock came and Fifi and Shirley sat in the detention room
along with a few other scattered students including Monty and Fowlmouth. The
detention period passed like the flow of molasses. After the longest fifteen
minutes of their lives Fifi and Shirley could hear a noise next to the
window. Both leaned closer and looked outside to see Marshall ducking next
to the window.
      "What are you doing out there?" Shirley asked.
      "Come on, you didn't think I would let two of my favorite toons sit
in detention all afternoon, did you? Give me three seconds and I'll distract
Daffy enough to get you two out of here."
      "I appreciate it but enough with the false flattery," Shirley said.
Marshall shrugged and ran inside.
      "Hey. I'm thinking about transferring to this school and I want to
know if the detention facilities are adequate to meet my disciplinary
needs," Marshall said in a very sincere voice. "Tell me…" Marshall then
stopped and looked at Daffy closely for a second. "No, you can't be. Are
you * the * Daffy Duck?"
      "Of course I am! How could you mistake me for anybody else?"
      "Well, I've always been a huge fan of your and I was wondering if you
could sign this picture for me." Marshall then handed a picture of Daffy
over and provided him with a pen. Daffy started to try to sign but nothing
was appearing on the page. He kept trying repeatedly as Shirley, Fifi and
the rest of the detention room managed to quietly slip out the door.
Marshall glanced back at the room and saw it was now empty. "Sorry, guess
that pen isn't working. Of course it would help if it wasn't full of
invisible ink." Marshall then bolted out of the room while Daffy tried to
figure out what just happened.

      "Well, I have to go ladies, but I must say that angering teachers at
your school is just as fun now as when I did it the first time," Marshall
said as they all walked out of the school. He then flew off.
      "I am totally relieved to be out of there," Shirley said as she
stepped out the door.
      "Slow down mon ami. Why are vous in such a hurry?" Fifi asked.
      "I just want to hurry and get home. My head is in mondo pain from all
this telepathy."
      "Are vous sure? You wouldn't be following him would vous?"
      "No way!"
      "If I were vous I would go for him," Fifi stated.
      "Before you had Hamton you would chase down even totally gross guys.
Sorry but I won't go for him." The two then said goodbye and Shirley headed
home and went to sleep despite the massive pain in her head.

      Marshall walked back through the revolving doors of the hotel and he
started to walk up the winding stairs before he heard a voice beckoning him
to stop. He turned around and saw the female desk clerk calling him back
down. As he stepped in front of the small wooden desk Marshall raised his
hands out of habit and tried to perform mind control. After a few seconds it
was clear nothing was happening.
      "Mr. Snow, what are you doing?" the clerk asked.
      "Uh… I was just looking at your face from different angles while
using my hands to… more closely examine your bone structure. Yeah, she'll
buy that. Have you ever considered being a model?" Marshall asked in a
pathetic attempt to cover what he was attempting to do.
      "Mr. Snow, you have not paid us for today. Checkout time is at noon,
but you weren't here. Seeing as how you have been with us so very long I was
able to convince the manager not to throw your stuff out the window and give
you another chance to pay for a few more nights. So sugar, are you checking
out or will you be staying' a few more nights?" the clerk bubbled.
      "Well, I was planning to stay a little longer. I actually originally
only planned to come for a week. Now it feels like I may never leave.
Listen, I am kind of in Acme Acres on business and staying much longer than
I thought has drained my finances a little. I was wondering if you could
just let the money slide for a couple of days while I get things in order."
      "Sorry Hon, but we used to have somebody here who played favorites
with guests he thought were cute. As soon as our manager found out Plucky
was fired like that." Seconds later Marshall was booted out the front door
with his belongings landing on his head shortly after.
      "Okay, now I'm having fun!" Marshall shouted sarcastically.

      Several hours passed before Shirley arose. She glanced over to the
clock on her wall. It was 1 AM and her room was filled with an eerie
silence. She had been sleeping since a little after four that afternoon.
After several failed attempts to fall back asleep she headed to the bottom
floor of her home. To her great surprise Shirley saw a light on even though
it was the middle of the night. Shirley looked over at the kitchen table to
see her mother sitting alone with her crystal ball sitting on top of the
plaid tablecloth. "Mom," Shirley asked. "What are you doing awake."
      "Just thinking," her mother replied.
      "About what? I thought I was the one that had all of this freaky
stuff on her mind to keep her awake at night."
      "I can't just sit back and relax while you're going through this. How
could any mother just watch her daughter in a situation like this?"
      Shirley felt a little a little reassured after her mother voiced her
concern. Shirley then took a good look into the middle – aged loon's eyes
and she could easily notice a note of anxiety behind the forced smile she
now wore. As she looked ahead Shirley suddenly heard the sound of static
entering her mind again. Within seconds she had tuned into a mind. It was
her mother's mind. Shirley didn't say anything as she sat back for a second
and listened to her thoughts.
      "I wonder what Shirley will do if she can't pass… oh, I shouldn't
think so pessimistically. She should be fine. I hope. Maybe her father has
the right idea in keeping the connection down? I don't know what to
believe…" Shirley's mother thought. "If she fails though, I don't know how
she'll adjust. If she can't get through this she'll lose her powers forever,
and that scares me probably as much as it would her if she only knew." The
connection between the minds immediately shut down and Shirley's jaw dropped
to the floor. "What is it dear?" her mother asked out loud. Shirley didn't
saw another word. She stood up and started breathing very quickly. Shirley
couldn't force herself to say a word. She was practically hyperventilating
now. Her eyes were wide open and her mouth just hung open. Before her mother
really knew what was going on Shirley turned and ran as fast as she could
out the door.
      Shirley just dashed down the cold and dark streets as fast as she
could with no destination. She was now completely panicked. She continued to
breathe very heavily and her arms and legs were trembling. The shock of what
she had just heard was more than she could take right now. After ten minutes
of aimless and distressed running through otherwise peaceful suburban Acme
Acres Shirley found herself in the park where she finally stopped running.
She caught her breath and stood still for a second. She could hear a
close-by thumping sound like something pounding against the ground. Shirley
walked through a row of bushes to the other side of the park where the
basketball nets were located. The distraught toon took a look and despite
the darkness she could make out a tall figure playing basketball alone.
Shirley walked a little closer and tried to make out the figure.
      "Looney? What are you doing wandering around in the middle of the
night?" the person asked. Shirley recognized the voice as Marshall's. The
second she realized it was him she darted over and embraced him.
      "I didn't hear it right! I couldn't have! This can't be happening!"
Shirley yelled as she continued to hold Marshall.
      "What are you talking about?" he asked in a very concerned tone.
      "My mother… I heard her…" Shirley said in a tremulous voice through
the tears that were now coming out. "You have to help me!"
      "Shirley, I can't exactly do anything to help you if you don't calm
down and tell me what's going on. I must say though you have me completely
and utterly terrified."
      Shirley then stepped back from Marshall and tried to collect herself for a
second. Right after taking a deep breath Shirley said "I heard my mother
say that if he don't get through this then we lose our powers permanently."
Marshall's mouth dropped open and he sighed loudly.
      "You're kidding right? You just want to scare me or something, right?
Please tell me that's what it is Looney. It's okay; I can take a joke," the
tern said weakly. He took another look at Shirley's face and he knew that
she wasn't kidding. For a second there he felt like reacting just like
Shirley was doing by crying and running but he stopped himself. He didn't
ask how she was sure that was what her mother was thinking about; he could
just tell that she was right.
      "It'll be okay Looney," he assured her. Shirley stared back at him in
disbelief.
      "You don't know that! And what happens if we do lose our powers? If I
lose mine what do I have left?" Shirley asked as she took a step back from
Marshall.
      "What are you talking about? It isn't like your powers are the only
thing about you. You have lots of great things about you. Me on the other
hand…"
      "You don't get it," she said. "What do I have left on Tiny Toons?
Babs is the wacky one and Fifi is supposed to be the romantic one. Babs has
her wacky impressions and spin changes and Fifi has her scent. All I'll have
is my totally strange voice. The only cartoons I'll be cast in will be ones
where they need Plucky to have a date! Besides all that they are a part of
who I am! They practically are who I am! I don't know what I would do
without them. My powers mean more to me than just all I can do with them."
      "I'm sorry. I never knew how important they were to you. But you
can't really believe that they are most of who you are. If that were true
then why do you have so many friends and fans? It isn't just because you
look so great. Sorry, that was bad timing. Anyway, to finish that thought,
just because the writers don't appreciate you so you think you'll lose any
purpose on Tiny Toons doesn't mean a thing," Marshall told her as he stepped
closer to her. "Of course that doesn't mean we aren't going to do
everything we can to stop this from happening. Of course it would help if we
knew what we were up against, but we'll find out. It may not mean anything
but I would gladly give up my powers so you could keep yours." Shirley's
mouth turned up a little at that last statement. She wiped a couple of the
tears from her eyes and attempted to force a smile. Marshall did manage to
tack a smile on his face but only to make her feel a little better.
      "Thank you," Shirley whispered. The two toons looked closely at one
another for a few more seconds with each one waiting for the other to do
something. Shirley felt her beak drifting a little closer to his. For one
final second she thought inside that this was not the guy she wanted to be
involved with right now. Up until recently she had hardly even considered
him her friend. Still, between the warm glow of the moon and how abnormally
sensitive he was being she was finding it harder and harder to still think
of him as the sarcastic stalker that had wandered into Acme Acres a month
ago. Finally, on this clear night in Acme Acres, she accepted that her
feelings for him had changed. She stopped resisting letting her beak drift
over to his. The two kissed for a few seconds, and for that moment they both
could forget about the terrible problem that they were confronted with.
      "That should count as our first kiss," Marshall said. "We actually
mean this one."
      "I should have known you would say something to ruin the moment,"
Shirley said jokingly. She then took a step back from him and picked up
Marshall's basketball. "So like what are you doing playing basketball by
yourself in the middle of the night?"
      "I can't sleep."
      "Do you have too much on your mind or something?"
      "No. I mean I can't let myself sleep. Because of our little problem
here I can't use mind control right now so I can't stay at the Acme Hotel. I
fell asleep standing up last night and of course I couldn't help but
sleepwalk. As far as I can tell I walked all over the place. I woke up for a
second as I was talking through a hospital room, and again as I nearly
stepped onto a plane at the airport. Who knows where I might end up next? I
don't want to take the risk without a place with locks to stop me form
taking a trip. I needed to kill some time until there was something to do
and this was all I could come up with so far."
      Just as Shirley was about to say something both of them heard a loud
rustling in the line of dark green bushes behind them but much further down
the row. "I think somebody's there. Get down." The two both dropped to the
moist ground and sat leaned up against the foliage and listened. They could
hear footsteps approaching. As the footsteps passed by them Marshall slowly
stood up and took a look at who was walking by. He immediately recognized
the person as the sinister looking old man he had seen around Acme Acres.
Just as Marshall looked at him the elderly person turned around and stared
back.
      "Kinda late for you to be running around isn't it? You should just haul up
your wires and pass to somewhere else. It isn't like you to just stick to
the ground is it?" the old man said as he faked senility.
      "What were you doing at the Acme Dance?" Marshall yelled in a very angry
tone.
      "Dance? Sorry I don't know how."
      "Don't you dare play dumb with me!" Marshall shouted. Shirley stood up and
tried to calm him down a little.
      "You two should be careful in this park," he instructed. "After all the
roots aren't secure in the trees or in others."
      "You're doing it again! Start making sense already! I want some
answers!" Marshall shouted.
      "Marshall, I think maybe you should lay off a little. We don't even
know if this guy knows anything."
      "Why don't we find out?" Marshall asked.
      "Just stop!" Shirley ordered him. Marshall immediately took a large
step back from him. He then turned to look at Shirley for a second out of
surprise for how angry her tone had been. Shirley appeared somewhat
surprised with herself also. After taking a second to absorb the surprise
both of them turned to the old man. As they faced him Marshall and Shirley
could hear the sound of static in their heads. Both of their minds were
trying to connect with the old man's thoughts at the same time. They heard
one or two scattered sounds before their minds were flooded with an ear
shattering ring. They dropped to the ground in pain.
      "No two amateurs are going to get into my head," the man said as he
walked away. Neither one of them could hear this person finally talk
normally as the sound still resonated in their heads.

      "Where have you been?" Shirley's mother asked her as she walked in
the door around three.
      "I was just taking a walk," Shirley lied. Before her mother could
ask anything more Shirley headed upstairs and tried to fall asleep again.
      "I don't even know why I asked," Mrs. Loon said to herself. "I
just read her mind for one second and I found out where she was."

      The following afternoon while Shirley was at school and thankfully
telepathy – free for the moment, the old man was at the Loon household
speaking with both of Shirley's parents.
      "Did you happen to find out where Shirley was in the middle if the
night?" he asked. "Just in case you didn't check she was at the park seeing
Marshall. From what I read in her mind she found out what happens if this
doesn't turn out well for her. Now how could she have come across this
information?" He then stared coldly at Shirley's mother. "How could you
have been so careless with your thoughts? You should have easily been able
to tell that she is in the phase where mind reading goes out of control.
Imagine what else she could have learned! Part of this rite of passage is
that the toon going through it cannot know what is happening or that could
change the results. What you did borders on interference and I could fail
Shirley right now!"
      "Look, I'm sure she didn't mean to interfere," Mr. Loon said.
"After all, she would never do something so ignorant as interfering and
ruining everything for Shirley."
      "It may not matter if she does now actually," the old man stated. "After
what I witnessed and sensed last night Shirley and Marshall both might be on
the verge of failing."
      "What?" exclaimed Shirley's mother.
      "Both of them are on the threshold of emotional breakdown and they
aren't even at the toughest part of this test yet. Being able to handle the
difficulties of the rite emotionally as well as physically is part of the
test. If they can't handle this how will they handle what is given to them
if they pass? My guess would be that the emotional problems wouldn't be so
bad if they weren't becoming linked. There is still time to disconnect the
two. Mr. Loon, you did an excellent job the other day when you set all those
traps for Marshall when he was attempting to see Shirley. Mrs. Loon, your
opposition to this is still very discouraging. You still seem to think that
Shirley could be happier with Marshall being around. Open up your eyes! His
presence in Acme Acres is doing her more harm then good!"
      Mrs. Loon took a sip of decaffeinated coffee and returned to fighting
with him. "I know she is starting to really like him. I don't want to take
that away from him. Besides, I know what happens if a connected psychic
passes the rite and the extra benefit makes up for the added challenge. I
think Shirley is strong enough to handle this."
      "Mr. Loon, try and talk some sense into your wife. Even if you can't
successfully keep them apart since I know neither of you can use mind
control there could be one more chance for them to become naturally
separated. Soon they could be entering another one of the emotional phases
of this. It is one that Marshall is very familiar with from a previous
experience. That could do some damage to any friendship, but especially when
you consider this." He then handed over an issue of Acme Geographic. It was
an article on the Arctic tern. "Read the part about how terns are nomadic
by nature. It is affected him before and it could again. Unfortunately by
the time any of this kicks in it may be too late so please keep up the
effort. I wish I had the time to help with this." He then stood up and
walked out of the house.

      "Greetings Looney and company," Marshall said to a group of toons
walking out of Acme Loo that included Babs, Shirley, Fifi, Buster and
Hamton.
      "Hey Marshall," Babs said politely. "I suppose you and Shirley
probably want to talk about something again like usual by yourselves."
      "Sorry, but you're right. It is kind of important, and we would
either bore or scare you if you listened in," Marshall explained. "I'm sure
Shirley could fill you in later if you really need to know."
      "Maybe if my name were Fifi she would fill me in," Babs thought to
herself.
      "Like see you all later," Shirley said as she walked off with
Marshall.
      "I thought she was weird before," Babs commented to Fifi. "Now she's
a strange loon that keeps secrets from her friends."

      The two walked closely to each other as they headed for the Acme Acres
Park. As they sat down next to each other on a park bench Marshall flashed
Shirley an adoring grin and Shirley responded with a smile. After they
stopped looking at each other Marshall pulled a soda can out the side pocket
on his dark grey cargo pants.
     "Who needs sleep when you have Bolt Cola? Four times as much caffeine as
Acme Cola can easily replace the need to sleep." Marshall then pulled the
tab and took a long drink of the pop. "Anyway, it's time to get to something
more relevant. After the way he blocked our telepathy last night we can
figure out he's psychic, as if there was any doubt before. Actually,
considering how long that headache lasted after he activated the emergency
broadcast system in our brains he's probably a pretty powerful one. If I'm
right about that then he could see us coming if we tried to sneak up on him,
but somehow we have to corner him so he has to talk. This brings me to my
plan." He then whispered something in Shirley's ear.
      "Marshall, I don't want to do all that just to make him talk,"
Shirley protested after hearing his idea. "Besides, don't you think a
couple of parts of your plan are totally mean?" Shirley asked as her voice
became noticeably more irritated by the end of the sentence.
      "Well excuse me! I didn't know that we couldn't do anything just a
little crazy for something as small as this unknown force that could change
our lives for the worse permanently!" Marshall said in a slightly upset
tone. He then stopped for a second and considered what he just said to the
now visibly upset Shirley. "What the Hell am I saying? Sorry Looney, I
didn't mean to talk like that."
      "Neither did I. I have no idea what made me say that."
      "Oh well, I guess we'll deal with that later after a few more pressing
issues are dealt with. As I was going to say before, I can't be the only one
involved. Besides, what is more important? Learning about what is happening
to us or protecting a person whose stalking makes mine look almost
pleasant?"
      Shirley sighed loudly and responded with," I still don't like it, but
I guess I have to go along with it."
      "Great. I'll go talk to Calamity Coyote and we'll start setting up."


      "Now remember Elmyra," Marshall said as he duct taped a small video
camera to Elmyra's left ear," just follow the man in the picture around but
make sure he doesn't see you. If he gets near the school then pretend he is
like one of your pets and use that deadly grip Buster and Babs are so
petrified of. Once you've got him just stand on the stairs of the school and
we'll do the rest. If you do it right you'll get a shiny new pet."
      "Okay cutey wutie birdie head," Elmyra answered. Marshall rolled his
eyes." I have just one question; can he see me after I start hugging and
squeezing him?"
      "Yeah, that's fine. He just can't know you're following him around,
okay?"
      "Okay. Am I allowed to see him?"
      "First of all, that's more than one question. Second of all… how can
I put this delicately? Of course you can you walking shoe!"
      "But that isn't fair. How can he win this game if I can look at him
but he can't look at me?"
      "You both win if you can catch him. Somehow I think that he stands a
good chance of getting away even if he doesn't know you're there judging by
how smart you are, Elmyra."
      "Thanks biridie man. Why don't I just take you home as a pet instead?
You're soooo cute!" Elmyra stated. She reached her arms out and was about to
clasp Marshall when he reached his arm out and gave Elmyra a push in the
direction she was supposed to be walking in.
      "Get going or you'll never get your new pet!"
      As soon as she had walked off he pulled a small television out of his pocket
that was hooked up to the camera taped to Elmyra and he started to watch.
"It's a good thing we could get Elmyra to go for this plan; with her brain
I don't even think that old man could read her mind so she can at least
sneak up on him." Marshall sat next to Shirley and stared into the monitor
while still in the park. Three hours after the search started Marshall
yawned loudly and Shirley was starting to nod off as he watched Elmyra
approach somebody and take a closer look. "Hey, the ditz might have finally
found him."
      "You look pretty old," Elmyra said as she looked at the figure.
      "Eh kid. It's not good to tell your principal he looks old," Bugs
said as he turned around. Elmyra walked away from Bugs and resumed the
search again leaving the very bored Marshall wondering how he got stuck
relying on this particular toon to make his plan work. Two more hours went
by at a snail's pace and Marshall was starting to nod off as he continued to
watch the small monitor. Finally, just as he was about to slip out of
consciousness, He could finally see the target on the screen.
      "It's about time she found him. Now let's see if the insane girl with
the IQ of a cheese log can actually figure out that this is who she is
looking for," Marshall said to himself. Elmyra looked very closely at the
person from behind and she managed to sneak in front of him for a second to
check the face. She then stared at the picture of the old man Marshall had
given her and after a few minutes it clicked with Elmyra that this was the
person. She started to walk behind him.
      Several minutes passed and the aged man had walked into a busy intersection.
The walk light came on and he sped across at a pace that defied his age.
Elmyra stepped out from behind a fire hydrant she had ducked behind to avoid
being seen and she too started to walk across the intersection. As she took
one step into the street the walk light disappeared and it became a stop
sign. Elmyra ignored this and kept walking. Within seconds a car struck her
and she became as flat as a pancake. As Elmyra was attempting to return to
normal the light cycled back to normal. When she was full again Elmyra stood
up and started to walk only to have the light change back to stop and she
was once again struck by a car. This cycle repeated for several minutes, but
luckily enough the camera miraculously remained undamaged. When Elmyra
finally made it across the street the old man walked up to her.
      "Are you alright? You were just hit by ten cars or so," he said. Elmyra
took a look at him, and then she pulled the picture out in plain sight and
she compared the two side by side. Another few seconds passed and Elmyra
once again realized this was the person she was looking for. The gothic
keeper of animals jumped into a mailbox as soon as she realized who it was
she was looking at.
      "And of course he would have to spot her," Marshall said as he watched the
events unfold on his monitor. "Hey looney, you might want to wake up. Our
plan is falling apart as we speak. Don't miss the fun."

      "Just what are you doing?" the peculiar male asked as he stuck his head in
the mailbox. To see inside the old man forced his eyes to glow with a
brilliant blue light using his powers. He took a look at Elmyra's face and
the camera caught his eye. With a subtle movement of his arm the camera
instantly shut off. "Now then. Why did you jump in this mailbox when you
saw me?"
      "I can't tell you. You're not supposed to see me or I don't get my shiny
new pet."
      Seeing that this was getting him nowhere the man attempted to read Elmyra's
mind. "This is odd. I am not picking up any activity in there. Are you sure
you're alive?"
      "Uh… I think I am. I was told by this tall birdie to make you go near the
school but not to let you see me… oops!"
      "Oh, I won't spoil the fun. Come on, let's go to the school," he said in a
sinister voice and with a devilish grin now plastered on his face.

      "No! The battery must have gone dead!" Marshall grumbled in frustration as
the picture on his small monitor went dead. He smacked it on the side
repeatedly and flicked the power switch on and off several times but the
picture did not come back. "I just hope he didn't suspect anything before
that idiot jumped in the box." Several minutes passed without the image
being restored to the screen. Just as Marshall stood up to leave and give up
on the plan for right now, the screen lit up again. He saw Elmyra walking up
behind the old man right on the stairs of Acme Looniversity.


      "Here we go!" Marshall shouted with glee. He started to nudge
Shirley's shoulder to wake her up, but that didn't work so he pulled out a
large bucket of water and dumped it over her head. "Get up! He's there!"
      "Like you didn't have to do that!" Shirley said as she stood up and
started to drip water all over the ground.
      "Oh please, the wet look is good on you," Marshall said jokingly.
"Besides, I needed something fast. Now come on or he could get away." The two
stood up and started running in the direction of Acme Acres. "This would be
so much easier if you could fly," Marshall commented as the two continued to
rush towards the Looniversity. When they were just before the beginning of
school property the two ducked behind some foliage and watched for a second.
Neither one of them noticed that as soon as they sat down the old man
smirked like Marshall would and pointed at Elmyra.

      "Hello cute old man," Elmyra said as she walked up behind him and
started to hug him.
      "What are you doing young lady?" He asked.
      "Wow, he can actually talk like a normal person," Marshall whispered
to Shirley. As Elmyra kept her iron grip on the person Marshall began to
search around his pockets for something. "Looks like certain animators
forgot to draw in my remote control," Marshall said as he came up empty.
Seconds later a very large pencil dropped down from the sky and sketched a
remote control in Marshall's hand. "I guess it'll do." Marshall pushed the
large red button located in the center and the ground right below the old
man suddenly opened up and he fell in, taking Elmyra with him.

      The two sprung out of the bushes and ran inside the school. Once inside they
raced down a flight of stairs and into the basement where the old man hand
conveniently landed in a chair they had set up with automatic arm
restraints. A helmet also lowered on top of his head.
      "I did what you said so where's my new pet?" Elmyra asked. "Is it
that cute looney wooney over there?"
      "No she's my pet," Marshall whispered jokingly. "Let's see here…
your pet is…" Marshall searched his pockets for something he could pass off
as a pet. Finally he pulled out a rock he had with him for some unknown
reason. "You can have this pet rock."
      "It's so cute! I'll love it and squeeze it and keep it forever!"
Elmyra squealed with joy as she walked out of the school clutching a rock.
      "You see now how she was able to sneak up on you," Marshall said to the
restrained old man. "There isn't a brainwave for you to pick up on."
      "Very clever kids. Since you're so smart, maybe you can tell me how
you're going to stop me from just using my psychic powers to escape for your
little trap."
      "See Shirley, I was right. To answer your question, with the help of
self – proclaimed genius Calamity Coyote this chair you're in now was built.
It detects psychic activity and as soon as it picks up on something it'll
zap you for the longest ten seconds of your life."
      "Marshall, I totally don't want to go through with this!" Shirley
protested. "This is practically torturing somebody. I thought you were more
centered than this!"
      "Desperate times call for desperate measures, and needing to be
dramatic desperately calls for a cliché I guess," he said. "It isn't like
I'm the only one who's aura went a little out of whack when faced with a bad
situation. Remember that party you, Babs and Fifi attended at Perfecto Prep?
At the end you went nuts and flooded the place! You also made Plucky look
like Einstein so he would leave you alone before a test. Before you ask how
I know all this I've been watching some old episodes lately. I think this
situation is a little more serious than those."
      "I have a totally bad feeling about this!" Shirley cried out. "I've
got this gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach like we shouldn't have
done this! We should just stop now!"
      "You might want to listen to her," the old man advised. "After all,
I influence your future more than you know."
      "It isn't like we're going to hurt him. I just want some answers."
Marshall then turned towards the old man and started talking. "First
question: what exactly is making our powers screw up?" Just as he opened his
mouth to answer the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs filled the
room. Shirley rushed up the stairs only to see that it was Plucky.
      "Plucky! What are you doing here?" Shirley asked as she looked at the
green mallard standing halfway down the basement stairs.
      "I thought I saw you running in here. I'm not sure if you know this,
but it's almost eight PM. In other words, you don't have to be at school."
      "Thanks for the advice. Now can you go please?" Shirley asked him.
      "I'm not leaving until I have you back!" Plucky declared
dramatically. "Come on, Shirl, I'll bet you've just been waiting for your
chance to have me back. Here it is!"
      "Fine, whatever Plucky," Shirley said as she was turned around and
watching what Marshall was doing.
      "Great!" Exclaimed Plucky. He then ran out of the school jumping for
joy and Shirley, not realizing what she had just done, walked back into the
basement.
      "Has he said anything yet? I really want to hurry up and leave."

      Marshall didn't answer. He was now hunched halfway over. Shirley
stepped out in front of him and she could she that he was struggling to keep
his eyes open and to stand back up. "Marshall, what's going on with you?"
      "You can't stay awake on caffeine alone," the shackled old man said.
      "Just watch me," Marshall replied. He then tried to force himself up,
but after a few seconds of struggling he fell to the ground and fell asleep.
Seconds later, his body stood up. Shirley looked up and saw the blank
expression on his face and the glazed over appearance of his eyes. He
started to walk out of the basement. As he headed out Shirley stepped in
front of him, grabbed him by the shoulders and started shaking him.
      "Wake up! You can't leave me here to deal with this!" Shirley
hollered at him. He pushed her aside without even looking down and walked
up the stairs.
      "Don't worry about getting out of this little situation," the old man
said. "I can escape any time I want. After all, Calamity Coyote built this
machine." His hands released diminutive sparks for a seconds and the machine
attached to his head suddenly exploded. He stood up, dusted himself off and
started to walk out of the room. As he stepped on the stairs he turned
around and said one more thing. "Shirley, it isn't your fault you are stuck
with an idiot. Don't let him bring you down to his ignorant, loudmouth
level." He then walked up the stairs while Shirley sat alone for a while and
thought things over.

      Marshall was now walking around the streets in a deep stupor. He
passed through several busy intersections, causing cars to break quickly,
skid or turn quickly and crash as he stepped across the road. He walked
through somebody's pool and barely kept his head above water as he did so.
His walk eventually took him to the docks of Acme Acres where he started to
head for a boat but it pulled away just before his foot hit the edge of it
and he then fell into the water below. The sudden blast of cold woke him up.
He looked forward and saw the boat pulling away and he felt a slight sense
of relief that he didn't board it. This relieved sense was quickly replaced
by a sense of disappointment after he remembered what has just gone on. "I
was so close! How could I have let myself fall asleep like that?"

      "Those are two very inventive teenagers. Too bad they aren't
emotionally mature or they could really be something someday," the old man
commented as Mr. Loon opened the door. Before being invited he stepped in
the door and sat down in the kitchen. "I think our best hope, although not
the hope of your wife, might actually come through. One of the emotional
stages is coming in. The needy stage is ending and the next one is
beginning. You remember, don't you?"
      "Of course. The stage that can ruin somebody's relationship with
their family or friends," Mr. Loon answered.
      "Exactly. Only this time there she'll probably have a different
target."
      Shirley's mother walked into the room and saw that he was there. "I
know what happened tonight. I was watching Shirley's mind," she said. "If
those two had taken a couple of extra steps then you might have just been
caught."
      "As much as I care about what you have to say I must be going now,"
he said. "I really haven't wanted to see your face since I was your decider
so many years ago. Goodnight all." He then got up and left the house.
      "I can't wait for this whole thing to be over!" Mrs. Loon bellowed.
      "Why do you hate him so much? He hasn't done anything to you!" Mr.
Loon said.
      "Like he said, years ago he was my decider. Imagine having that man
watching you and analyzing you in his cold manner, deciding your future. He
barely decided to let me pass. He doesn't care about the kids that go
through this all the time. He doesn't care if they pass or fail or about how
doing either might affect them! If he decides that he doesn't like Shirley
he can decide that she failed the Rite of Passage and she will lose her
powers and never reach the level of being a full psychic! The cosmos really
dropped the ball when they chose this man as a decider! Of all of the
hundreds of people that could have been sent to judge of Shirley is worthy
of full powers they would have to send this jerk!"
      "I was lucky," Mr. Loon said. "You remember Shirley McVaine,
Shirley's namesake and hero? Her mother was actually my decider. The whole
family is pretty much like her as far as I can tell. She would pop in while
I was going through this rite very often and she checked on how I was doing.
I made it through all right and it only took about a month. How long did
your rite take?"
      "Four of the longest months of my life. I was just become dependent
on my powers for just about everything when it happened. I was actually
helping my boyfriend at the time by welding something for him in shop with
my finger when they failed for the first time."
      "Four months? That's insane. I couldn't have done it."
      "I had a friend back when I was in school who went through two years
after I did and he suffered for six months before the same person that will
decide Shirley's fate failed him for the same reason that Shirley might
fail."

      "Take this!" Shirley's voice called as she threw a life preserver
into the water. Marshall reluctantly grabbed on and let the Loon pull him
out of the water.
      "I probably would have sat there all night thinking about how I
screwed up," Marshall said as he was pulled back to land. "What else would
I have to do?"
      "You're right, that was your fault," Shirley said. Marshall was
shocked at what he heard her say and Shirley was more shocked with herself
for saying it. "I don't know where that came from. I didn't mean that."
      "Trust me, I'll be beating myself up enough over this. I don't need
your help to feel bad over messing up my own plan. Of course had I known the
device Calamity built was going to explode I never would have tried it. I
thought he was supposed to be some genius inventor."
      Shirley handed Marshall a towel and he started to dry himself off a
little. "Even without the machine I didn't think that plan was going to
work. I didn't want to be a part of it either. What were you thinking?" she
asked. She then took a step back and turned away from him. "What am I
saying? I totally don't mean to be so rude right now!"
      Marshall stared blankly for a second. All of the sudden his mouth
opened a little and his face started to look slightly shocked."Oh no it's
happening again," Marshall thought. "It can't be happening again!" He then
walked up behind her and made her turn around. "Last night when you looked
at my face you saw somebody you liked enough to share a kiss with. What do
you see now?"
      Shirley took a long, hard look at the tern's face. "I just feel cosmically
annoyed right now," Shirley said. Marshall's face became even more worried.
      "Listen, I'll talk to you tomorrow. Maybe we'll be both feel a little
less irritable later on." He then took off.


      The following morning Shirley was on the way to Acme Loo when she
stopped at International House of Soy for breakfast. Minutes after she sat
down to eat Marshall came walking in and as soon as he noticed her he sat
down right next to her in the corner booth she sat in.
      "Good morning," he said in a quiet voice. "How are you?"
      "Do you have to sit so close?" Shirley asked in an annoyed tone.
      "I'm not sitting close! Maybe you're just too edgy!" Both turned away
from one another and wondered what they had just said. They both knew this
was not what they wanted to say but they could not help but feel a little
angry with the other. They turned back towards one another and both tried to
force some nice remark to make up for what they just said. "Nice outfit
Shirley… it isn't like you wore it yesterday or the day before or the day
before that…"
      "That was a great plan you had yesterday," Shirley said. "Too bad it
didn't work at all!"
      From across the restaurant the old man watched and listened.
     "They are entering the hate and anger phase now. I wonder if they realize
that soon they won't be able to stand the other because of the same thing
that is messing up their powers. They aren't connected fully yet, so the
timing could not be more perfect. It looks like Shirley might stand a
fighting chance to keep her powers after all."
      "I don't see you coming up with any ideas! I've been doing this for
over a year now so I think I have a better idea of what to do than you!
You're powers have been failing for what, a couple of months? Mine have been
going for well over a year and I don't complain half as much as you do! Why
don't you either come up with an idea of your own or shut up already!!!"
Shirley threw her soy coffee in his face and stormed out of there. This time
the anger and guilt of saying something mean to the other was not followed
by the guilt of before. Marshall rushed out of IHOS in the direction of the
school.

      "Hello my dear," Plucky said as he walked by Shirley in the hall.
"I'll see you tonight."
      "Like what is he talking about?" Shirley asked as she walked up to
Fifi.
      "It iz Plucky. Who ever knows what he iz talking about." Fifi looked
at her friend and she could instantly notice the annoyed look on the Loon's
face. "What iz wrong?"
      "Marshall was acting like a total jerk this morning!" Shirley said
out loud. The entire hall could hear her outburst and they hit the deck
afraid that she might release some electricity. "When I saw him I just felt
like screaming! This is totally not like me. I am usually so much more
centered. I am not even sure why I was so angry, either. I didn't even want
his stupid plan to work but I was screaming at him because it didn't." Just
before Fifi was about to give a response Babs, with an equally annoyed
expression, passed by them.
      "Good morning Fifi," Babs said. She gave Shirley a brief angry look
and kept walking.
      "Just what I need, another friend who I'm fighting with," Shirley
said in a more depressed tone. "This can't all be happening. Why are all
these bad things happening all at once?"
      "I wish I could help vous mon ami," Fifi said sympathetically.

      "It looks like it's happening again," Marshall said into the receiver
of a payphone. "Reed, you remember how the last girl I started to really
like while looking for information just suddenly turned on me? We might be
about to have a repeat. Just when I thought I was about to ask Shirley out,
too. I thought we were becoming close and now she suddenly acts like she
hates me, only this time I feel really mad at her. I don't want to go
through all of this again, especially not when we've come so close to
actually discovering something. I'll talk to you later. By the way, why
haven't you come to Acme Acres yet? I thought I told you like three
installments ago to get your butt over here!" Marshall then hung up and
walked away from the phone.

      Shirley sat down in her first period class trying her best to ignore
the whispers and some audible comments that were flying around the room from
the second she walked in. Before the class could begin which would have
silenced the remarks the speakers came on in the classroom.
      "Eh, attention kids. Could Shirley da Loon please report to the
Principal's office?" Bugs said over the PA.
      "Oooooooh! You're in trouble!" The whole class said simultaneously.
They then all remembered about Shirley's powers and they hit the deck.
Shirley, with her head hanging, left the room and headed for Bugs' office.
      "Please sit down Shirley," Bugs said as the Loon walked into the
room. Shirley sat down and leaned her face up against her palm. "I know
there has been something going on wit you lately, so I don't want to get you
mad or nottin, but I need to know what you were doing in da school last
night."
      "How do you know I was here?" Shirley asked nervously. Bugs pressed a
button and a television rose out of the ground and up next to him. He
pressed a button on a small remote and security footage started to play.
Shirley saw herself and Marshall standing in the basement but the old man in
the chair was cut off from the picture.
      "Uh… well… I was totally just… I saw the other guy there walk in and
I thought I would find out what he was doing or some junk," Shirley lied,
assuming Bugs didn't know about Marshall.
      "I've seen dat kid before. He was snooping around da school before,"
Bugs stated. "Thanks for you help." Shirley got up and returned to the
nightmarish classroom.

      The morning passed uneventfully. Shirley received more looks and
whispers from her classmates that she tried to shrug off but she couldn't.
At lunch she headed right for the back corner of the cafeteria and tried to
be alone. As she sat down she noticed an envelope sitting on the table. She
ripped it opened unenthusiastically and began to read. "Looney, sorry about
this morning. I want to make it up to you. Unless you really hate me I would
like you to meet me at Chez Acme tonight for dinner at seven and maybe we
can get over this. Please just give it a shot before we throw away all we've
done so far. Signed, Marshall."
      "What iz this?" Fifi asked as she walked up behind Shirley and saw
the note. "Oh, it iz from Marshall. A love note, perhaps?"
      "It's an apology," Shirley replied. "He says that the whole thing
was totally his fault or some junk and he wants me to meet him for dinner
tonight. I don't know what to do. He was such a jerk this morning! Fifi,
you're the love expert. What do you think I should do?"
      "I think you should accept," Fifi answered. "I like a guy who admits
that it iz all his fault." Fifi then tried to sit down but Shirley started
nodding her head no when the skunk was halfway to the seat.
      "Please Fifi, I think I want to be alone right now," Shirley said.
"I've got this mondo pile of issues to think through." Fifi reluctantly left
her friend alone and she headed for a table with her other friends. Shirley
closed her eyes and started to meditate in the cafeteria.
      "Oh what a loon I am… Oh what a loon I am…"
      "Shirley must be sitting there waiting for me to join her," Plucky
thought as he looked across the room. "Well, I can't keep her waiting."
Plucky rushed over, sat down beside her and reached his arm around her
shoulders. "Hey babe. Did you miss me?" Shirley's eyes opened and she
glared over at Plucky.
      "Like Plucky what are you doing?" Shirley asked in a horrified tone.
      "Okay, I get it. You want to save this stuff for our date. I'll meet
you at Chez Acme at seven thirty tonight and then we can have some real
fun." He then walked back over to his original table leaving Shirley very
perplexed.

      Six – thirty came around that night and Shirley had just finished
preparing to leave. She was dressed in her Amazing three outfit as she
walked down the stairs and prepared to leave.
      "Nice outfit," her mother commented as she beheld her daughter. "I
am assuming then you are going some place special?"
      "Kind of. I'm just meeting somebody for dinner," Shirley said.
      "Have fun. Are you sure you don't want me to drive you?" Mrs. Loon
asked. Shirley nodded in response and walked out the door. Seconds after
Shirley walked out the door Mr. Loon walked into the room.
      "You know who she's going to see, don't you?" he asked.
      "Of course I do. Do you think my psychic abilities are broken, too?"
      "We have to stop her. It's for her own good!"
      "Right now I don't think that is our business. I won't stop her from
seeing him if that's what she wants to do. In the end it would be better for
her to see him anyway."
      "If it turns out right. If not then our daughter will lose something
that means a great deal to her." The two continued arguing for several
minutes and it quickly degraded into a shouting match. Both of them ran into
different rooms and slammed the doors.

      Shirley walked into the doors of the classy restaurant and was seated
by a French receptionist. She gazed around in awe at the expensive carpets,
the orchestra playing in the corner, and the crystal chandeliers that hung
from the ceiling. All around the room she could see the richest of the rich
from Acme Acres sitting down and eating.   "Ze waiter will be wiz you
shortly," the receptionist as he seated the loon.
      "I thought Fifi had a thick accent," Shirley said to herself after
hearing that man talk. Shirley waited for about ten minutes before she saw
Marshall walk in the door all dressed up in a dark blue suit and with the
three spiked feathers on the top of his head combed down. The receptionist
pointed to the table and Marshall quickly walked over.
      "Pour vous," Marshall said as he handed Shirley a single red rose.
"I'm assuming since you're here you don't hate me."
      "It was a stupid fight," Shirley answered. "Acting like that was
totally not like me. I still don't know what came over me."
      "The thing is, I might… that's one thing I want to talk to you
about," Marshall started. Just then a waiter walked over and handed them
both menus. Marshall took one look at the prices and his eyes bugged out of
his head for a second in shock. "Excuse me but I don't see Mortgage
Application anywhere on this menu! I think I would need one to buy a glass
of water." The waiter swiped the menus back.
      "Let me know when you two can actually afford the food," the waiter
said as he walked away with his nose high in the air.
      "I know how I can actually get us some food here," Marshall said in a
suspicious voice as he looked around the room. "Of course if my mind
control wasn't messed up we wouldn't have this problem." Marshall stood up
and walked to the corner of the large dining room where he could see Montana
Max.
      "Monty, how would you like to double your money very quickly?"
Marshall asked. Monty didn't even know who Marshall was but the sound of
quick cash was music to his ears.
      "And how do you plan to get me double my money?" Monty asked.
      "First, give me what you have on you," Marshall told him. Monty
handed over a huge wad of bills. "Excellent. Now, come with me." He started
to lead Monty along the wall of the restaurant. Just as they passed by a
large, dark colored door Marshall turned towards Monty and shoved him right
through it. "Double your money by working here!" he yelled to the spoiled
brat as he started to run back over to his table.
      "Hey loser! You can't do this to me! I'm rich!" Monty yelled from
inside the kitchen.
      "Where's your apron?" a deep voice asked. Monty turned around and was
about to say something rude in reply when he saw a large figure about three
times his height, four times his weight and wearing a chef's hat standing
behind him. "Here, take this one. Somebody spilled a bucket of grease on
it, but other than that it's workable. And it's more than you deserve!" He
threw Monty the apron and reluctantly the rich teenager put it on. The large
cook pointed to a table where Monty went over and started to chop some
celery. "You're doing it all wrong! You'd better get a cookin' right or
I'll have to act as the disciplinary committee!"
      Marshall sat back down at his table and received a scolding look from
Shirley. "Marshall, that was totally mean! You just stole from him or some
junk. Even if it was Montana Max it was still wrong."
      "Relax. I saw him take that money out of the cash register anyway.
Now we can have food, this place will get its money back, Monty will be
forced to work, and everybody will win."  Marshall then turned around and
spotted the waiter from before. "Hey garcon! We're ready to order now!"
      The waiter walked back over and both of them ordered a vegetarian soup
and expensive salads. After he left the two faced each other and once again
started talking. "As I was trying to say before I think I might have an
idea what was went on this morning and why we both tried to rip the other's
head off…" he started again before the French waiter in a tuxedo walked up
next to their table again.
      "Telephone pour vous monsieur," he said. Marshall stood up and
started walking towards the entrance where the phone was as he muttered
something to himself about how Reed always picks the worst possible times to
call. Shirley sat back and started to wait for her companion's return when
out of nowhere a green duck still wearing casual clothes sat down across
from her.
      "You're right on time. That gives us longer to smooch," Plucky said
as he forced himself at her table. Shirley sat speechless as she tried to
figure out what Plucky was doing. Plucky forced his body halfway across the
table and he started to kiss her while she was still stunned. As Plucky and
Shirley's lips collided Marshall walked back over to the table.
      "Isn't this interesting," Marshall said as he observed the two.
"Well, I have to say I'm confused. Tell me, am I just here to watch you
reunite with you old boyfriend or were you actually planning to listen to
what I had to say? And Plucky is this that getting back at me you promised
after the skunk scent prank? I must say I'm very impressed at the disgusting
way you've decided to get back at me." Marshall's face was now turning a
very deep shade of red and he gave Shirley an angry look that would scare
Darth Vader.
      "Hit the road jack!" Plucky shouted at Marshall. "Shirley's back
where she should be, with a real toon." Marshall kicked the table and it
broke in half straight down the middle. He then stormed out of Chez Acme and
into the cold parking lot where there were still small patches of snow on
the ground. He picked up a rock and threw it at a luxury car sitting in the
parking lot, causing a huge dent to form in the side.
      "Why didn't I see that one coming?" he shouted to himself. "After
all, the writers are always forcing those two together. It makes sense that
they actually might like each other after a while." He then took a running
start and kicked a silver garbage can in a fit of rage.
      "Marshall wait!" Shirley cried as she ran out the door.
      "Shouldn't Plucky's tongue be down your throat right about now?"
Marshall asked in a livid intonation. "Maybe we were on the right track
with that big fight this morning!"
      Shirley stopped for a second and considered saying that it was all
just a big misunderstanding, which it was. After thinking for a moment and
taking a long, cold look at Marshall she felt a strange anger start to build
up in her just like it had this morning. "Fine! Maybe we were on right to
yell and scream and fight! Maybe Plucky is better for me than you!"
      "I don't really think that it's a choice. It isn't like I would ever
lower my standards enough to date a psycho like you!"
      "Like I would have even considered dating you!" Shirley replied.
      "Please, like you could have done better! I know about your pitiful
track record. Plucky and Fowlmouth are not exactly prize catches. I guess I
can only attract the crazy ones because my last girlfriend was hot and very
nice up until one point where she just acted like you. I never set foot in
Toronto again because of her and I definitely won't set foot in Acme Acres
again!" He then threw the stack of money he had taken off Monty and he threw
it at Shirley. He started to walk off alone into the night when two police
officers stepped out in front of us.
      "I'm afraid you'll have to come with us for questioning," one cop
said.
      "You had me arrested Shirley? Now * that * is mature!" he said
sarcastically. "Officer, what exactly am I being brought in for?"
      "Breaking and entering," the second cop replied. "There is a video
tape of you on school property after hours last night." Marshall grimaced
and walked with the two policemen into an awaiting squad car. As the police
vehicle pulled away Shirley immediately figured out she had something to do
with him being hauled away because of what she said to Bugs earlier. At this
moment though Shirley did not care very much and she stormed off the
property of Chez Acme and towards her home.

      Three hours later Marshall stepped out the front door of the Acme
Acres Police Station. "It's a good thing I made up this Arctic Diplomat
card a few years ago as a joke or I'd probably be sitting in jail right
now," he said to himself as he walked out. "I just thought that that girl
was a little off because of what's going on with her powers, but this goes
way beyond that. Having me arrested and bringing her ex-boyfriend to Chez
Acme so she could make out with him in front of me is definitely not
normal." He walked alone for an hour thinking about what he was going to do
next. This eventually brought him to the waterfront once again.
"I put up with this before," Marshall thought. "I stuck around while Ms.
Toronto yelled and screamed at me, and I tried to make it work. It's good
that this is mutual despise now… isn't it? Ah, who cares? There isn't
anybody who can answer any question I ever ask anyway. This time, I'm not
sticking around to get my head bitten off every time I talk. Shirley can
face this problem on her own from now on; I'm sick of watching other people
to try and learn just what the hell is going on with me. I'm sick of this
town, these people, and that psycho loon! I have wasted over a year of my
life on this and all I know now is what happens if it doesn't turn out well.
This pointless research is getting me nowhere, and I won't do it anymore.
I'm going home!" Marshall then looked up into the clear early morning sky
and he rose up into the air and started to fly north towards his old home in
the arctic.

Part V coming soon…