Rite Of Passage Part III
By Dark Helmet
darkhelmet47@hotmail.com
Special Thanks to Pepe K.

    The blank screen suddenly opened to Buster Bunny standing in front of a
light – colored background. "Hiya toonsters," Buster said.
" Since I barely have any part in this episode but it's in my contract I
have to be on for a certain amount each episode, I am here to fill you in on
what's happened in our story so far, with the help of Calamity Coyote."
Calamity then walked out wheeling a thin grey machine on a cart out with
him. "Calamity will show what's happened so far with his Super Flashback
Machine 3000." Just as Buster said this, Babs walked into the scene.
    "Hey Buster! That's just a slide projector!" Babs pointed out. Buster took
a long look at the machine.
    "What do you know? You're right. Oh well, we don't have time to get
anything better, so let's just get this show moving." Buster pulled down a
large white screen and turned the lights off as Calamity pressed the button
causing the first slide to be displayed. It was a picture of Shirley the
Loon. "This is Shirley. Normally, she has strange psychic powers." Calamity
brought up the next slide, which showed Shirley zapping the hallway. "This
is what happens when Shirley's powers go wrong like they have. Shirley
doesn't know why they have messed up like this." The next slide was a
picture of Marshall. "This is Marshall. He came to Acme Acres to look into
what was happening with Shirley's powers, and most people seem to think he
is stalking her."
    "Personally I don't believe that," Babs interjected. "After all, he
helped to get me out of failing a test in Fudd's class."
    "That's nice Babs," Buster said," but we really don't have time to argue
about this. People are going to want to get this summary done with so they
can get to the actual episode. Of course, if they had read the first two
parts then they wouldn't need this. Anyway, as I was saying, Marshall came
and started to investigate Shirley's power failure, but so far he hasn't
figured it out either, and he is having the same problem." The next slide
showed the old man that has popped in and out of the story so far. "We
don't know the name of this guy or what he's doing." The next slide showed a
February calendar with a heart drawn in the 14th. "Tomorrow night is the
Valentine's Dance at Ace Loo, and Shirley isn't planning to go. Marshall is,
however."
    Babs pushed Buster out of the way and started to speak. "I could have done
that better, and much less boring too. Now, without further delay, we
actually get to Rite Of Passage Part III…"


"So Shirley still says she isn't going?" Babs asked over the phone talking
to Fifi. The two had spent the last several days trying to talk the Loon
into going to the upcoming Valentine's Day Dance. It was now Thursday, and
the event was Friday night. Every single day after school since the
decorating had started Babs and Fifi tried to talk Shirley into it.
    "No, ze Loon still says she iz not going. I will try to talk her into it
one more time."
    "Maybe you should let me do it. After all, I can very dramatic when I want
to be."
    "Or any other time, for zat matter. I still theenk that I should talk to
her one more time first, but if zat doesn't work, you can try."

    A few days of spending hours after school and putting up with a certain
green duck flaunting his new girlfriend had been more than enough to wear
Shirley out completely, so the Loon nearly passed out completely as she
flopped down on the couch upon her arrival home Thursday afternoon.
    "How is everything, dear?" Shirley's mother asked as she stepped into the
living room.
    "Decorating was a total mess. Like, we only have a couple of days left,
and we have a mondo pile of stuff to do. It's totally hectic and not very
fun."
    "I meant how are you."
    "Oh," Shirley replied. "I'm okay."
    Shirley's mother smiled at her for a second, and then walked away. Shirley
sat back against the light green pillows on the sofa and was out like a
light within seconds.

    "And you're absolutely sure you paid for the last three days you've been
here?" the clerk at the Acme Hotel asked Marshall. The tern nodded yes back
at her. "Okay, sir. I am sorry. There must have been an error on our part,
I suppose, because we have no record of you paying."
    "Just don't screw up again," Marshall replied, and then he headed up the
tall, winding staircase back towards his room. He stepped back into his room
and sat back on the bed. Thinking out loud, he stated," I guess my mind
control must be acting up or something. Normally, those guys never figure
out that I never paid them. Either my powers are getting weaker, or these
people are getting smarter, and after talking to them, I seriously doubt
it's the latter."

    After what seemed like hours of being asleep, Shirley was suddenly forced
awake by the chime of a doorbell. She stood up, shook her head for a second,
and walked to the door. On the other side, she saw Plucky, standing next to
his much taller girlfriend.
    "Like, what is it Plucky?" Shirley asked in a clearly fatigued voice.
    "What, you aren't going to say “Hi" to Angelina Duckie? Now that's rude!"
Plucky stated, followed by a deep, gazing look into his companion's eyes.
Shirley turned away, pretended to gag, and then faced the two again.
"Could you totally spill your guts here, please?" Shirley asked him.
    "Oh right. Sorry, sometimes looking in Angelina's eyes, I get completely
lost," Plucky said. This time, Shirley made her gagging motion very obvious.
"As I was about to say, you left this mini-crystal ball back in the gym so
Babs asked me to drop it off here. Well, I have to be going. I guess I'll
see you at the dance tomorrow night, unless I'm having too much fun to
notice anybody else but Angelina." Angelina replied to this with a short
giggle, and Shirley slammed the door shut.


    When Shirley arrived at her locker the next morning, she immediately
spotted Babs and Fifi waiting for her. Her two friends stepped out of the
way as Shirley walked over and started opening her locker.
    "So, have you decided to keep the amazing three together for this dance?"
Babs asked.
    "Not this again. I am totally getting sick of talking about this dance
over and over again. Maybe if I weren't so centered I would care that I
didn't have a date for it, but my karma is perfectly fine even though I'm
not going. I don't really want to go all that much anyway."
    "Would vous excuse us for a second?" Fifi asked. She then seized Shirley's
arm and the two walked further down the hall.
    "Oh sure, I'll excuse you two. Who needs parents to get you out of class
anymore? I've been excusing you so much lately I might as well excuse you
from class, too!" Babs said after the two had already walked out of earshot.
    "Like before you ask, the answer is negatory Fifi."
    "I really theenk you should go."
    "And who exactly would I go with?"
    "Well, what about M…" Fifi started.
    "If you're going to suggest that I go with a certain arctic oddity, just
stop right now." Shirley then walked off towards her class. Fifi walked back
over to Babs.
    "I'm guessing you didn't talk her into coming yet. Maybe if she had a date
she would change her mind," Babs suggested. "Of course, she isn't going to
go and ask anybody out, so I have a different plan."

    Lunchtime rolled around and Babs and Fifi found each other immediately in
the crowded hallways full of students rushing frantically to eat three day
old cafeteria food. "So vat iz this brilliant plan?" Fifi asked.
    "Simple. You've seen me imitate celebrities before, but now you will see
my greatest imitation of all," Babs said. She then spin changed into Shirley
the Loon, except with a striking red dress and her hair down. "All I have
to do is go around and ask somebody out as Shirley the Loon, and then tell
her I found her a date. “
    "Take this," Fifi said as she handed Babs a wrinkles and torn piece of
paper. "This iz a map to where all of ze guyz at Acme Looniversity go at
lunch. I would go, but most of zem tend to run when they see me coming."
    Babs grabbed the map and quickly walked to the locations that had been
mapped out.
    The first place the disguised rabbit arrived at was the steps just outside
the school. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed that Fowlmouth was at
the end of the stairs. She started to head back inside, but before she made
it through the doors, Fowlmouth had cut her off and was now standing in
front of her.
    "What's going' on, Shirl? You look pretty daggum hot today. I'll tell ya
something'…"
"Uh… listen, Fowlmouth…" Babs started.
    "Yep, you sure look pretty **** hot right now, and if I didn't have an
even hotter date, I'd go out with you in a daggum second."
    "I was wondering if you… you're WHAT?"
    "Going with somebody already. Sorry babe, but you had more than one chance
before. See ya later."
    Babs walked away after being insulted.  Minutes later, she arrived at the
next destination on her map. It was the outdoor basketball court. When she
arrived, several jocks were playing basketball and talking to each other.
Shirley stood near the doors leading into the side of the school and
listened for a few moments.
    "So how's your date for the dance?" one asked.
    "Oh, she's a hottie. She's way better looking than yours!" another
replied.
    "Hey Norm, you got a date yet?" the first one asked.
    "No way. I'm just waiting for a chick up to my level to come along."
    "So what about that hot one standing by the door?" the second one
suggested.
    "Nice thinking. If she's as big of an airhead as she looks then this could
be fun."
    Babs didn't hear the last comment, but she did notice the very tall, red
duck walking over to her. She could hear the sounds of his friends making
barks of encouragement as he walked. Halfway to the Loon, Norm turned around
and faced his friends, who suddenly went silent. When Norm turned back in
the direction of the supposed Loon, they started to chant his name over and
over. Finally, he made it over the awaiting Babs, and the whole place went
silent.
    "So Blondie. What's your name?" he asked.
    Babs stopped and considered this for a second. After thinking about how big
of a jerk this guy had to be, plus what Shirley would do to her if she were
fixed up with a guy like this, the pink rabbit decided on a new course of
action.
    "Like, get away from me creepo!" she ordered.
    "Excuse me. There isn't a girl in this school dumb enough to turn me down.
After all, you only get one chance here."
    "And I thought Plucky had an ego," Shirley said.
    Suddenly, Norm's face went from looking pleased to appearing quite irate. "
Hey wait," he said, taking a closer look at her.         "Aren't you that
psycho girl that fried the hallway? Whew, I sure dodged a bullet by turning
you down for the dance."
"If only I could zap this loser like Shirley would," Babs thought to
herself. "Oh well, this will have to do." Babs then pulled out a frying pan
and hit Norm over the head repeatedly with it, leaving him in the shape of a
manhole cover on the gym floor.
Just as the bell rang to bring lunch to an end Babs, still disguised as
Shirley, met up with Fifi again.
"I never knew how many losers we went to school with until today," Babs
said as she returned. The rabbit was clearly tired as she gasped for breath
and stood half hunched over.
    "I guess that's it then. Shirley won't be coming with us to ze dance."
Fifi then walked away while Babs leaned up against the wall. A minute or so
passed, and Shirley walked by Babs in the hall. Shirley started to look at
her doppelganger like she was a mirror. As Shirley moved her arm, so did
Babs.
    "Ew! Yuck! Do I really look like that?" Shirley asked herself as she
looked in the supposed mirror. She then walked off. Babs immediately spin
changed back into herself and walked to class once again feeling insulted.
    "My Shirley impression wasn't that bad!" she exclaimed to herself as she
headed for her own class.

    Late Friday afternoon, Fifi arrived at Babs' house with a bag of makeup in
one hand and a new red dress in the other. For the next two hours the two
would prepare for the dance this evening before Buster and Hamton arrived to
pick them up.
    The two did everything at the same time, and almost in the exact same way.
Fifi and Babs spent hours comparing makeup and talking about Buster and
Hamton, respectively. As the time to leave approached, Babs turned to her
left, expecting Shirley to be there just like before all of the other
occasions. She started to ask," Shirl, could you turn the aura the color of
this make-up? I want to… oh wait she isn't here. You know what Fifi? This
isn't going to be nearly as much fun."
    Just as Fifi opened her mouth to answer, the doorbell rang. When the two
girls opened the door, Buster and Hamton took one look at them, and their
eyes popped out for a second, their mouths opened and drooled, and their
hearts pounded out of their chests all at exactly the same motion.
    "I see the three hundred dollars on my parents' credit card was worth it,"
Babs whispered to Fifi. The skunk giggled.
    "Nice job, Hamton. Aren't you glad we rehearsed what we were going to do
when we saw them now?" Buster whispered to Hamton. The pig nodded yes.

    Back at the Acme Hotel, Marshall was in the middle of straightening out a
small black bowtie around his neck. After it was in place, the tern took a
look in the mirror and saw that his entire tuxedo outfit was now perfect,
and he thought that he had done just about everything he needed to before
leaving. The one last item on the agenda before leaving involved a phone
call. He reached over to his right, grabbed a phone and pressed the first
speed dial button. "Hey, Reed, I'm about to go. Can you believe I haven't
been to     anything like this since the days with Miss Toronto? Yeah, well
I hope this turns out a little differently than that. Anyway, I will have a
better idea of if I'm staying in Acme Acres for a while after tonight. See
ya." Marshall then hung up the phone and walked down to the awaiting limo.
    Back at home Shirley was sitting in her room meditating to pass the time on
what she expected to be a long, boring Friday night. "Oh what a Loon I am.
Oh what a Loon I am," she repeated as she meditated without levitating. As
she slipped into a trance, her mind started to fill with images of what
appeared to be the school gym with all of the lights off, some decorations
hanging from the ceiling, and a faint trace of music in the background. She
could see that she was dancing with somebody, but she could not see the face
of the boy involved. As she danced, one of the speakers in the background
released sparks and ceased to make noise. A voice then came on in the gym
that told everybody to continue enjoying him or herself, and Shirley saw
herself dancing in silence with the other person. For that moment, even if
it was just a vision in her mind, Shirley felt fine as if her powers had
returned to her or something, even though they had not. She also felt this
overpowering urge to go to the dance. After that, she came out of the trance
to discover she had only a few minutes left until the dance was supposed to
begin.
    "It was a totally freaky way to be talked into it," Shirley said to
herself as the feeling that she needed to go continued. "But I think I'm
going now." The Loon rushed into the bathroom, and stepped out just a few
seconds later with makeup and a dress on. However, she had gone a little too
quickly as her lipstick was around her eyes, her hair full of cosmetics and
an old brown dress on. "Maybe I should spend a little more time getting
ready than five seconds. Ten should do it." Shirley then rushed back in and
changed clothes for an entire ten seconds followed by her emerging with a
stunning light blue dress, perfect makeup, long eyelashes, and shimmering
diamond earrings on. She then dashed as quickly as she could out the door in
the direction of the school.


    The gym was almost full as Buster and Babs, and Hamton and Fifi walked
through the doors. It was obvious to these four that all of the work they
had done paid off. The hanging decorations looked perfect in the dim light
of the Looniversity Gymnasium, highlighted by the disco ball in the center
of the room. There were red and pink streamers spread out along the walls
and the ceiling, as well as hearts of the same colors hanging from the
walls, some with Valentine's Day – related messages on them. There were also
a few that Montana Max had gone through and changed from such messages as,"
I love you" to," I loathe you." Despite the occasional bit of graffiti,
however, the place was still beautiful.
    "When it's all done up like this, it's hard to believe that most of the
time people are sweating all over this gym," Buster commented. Babs elbowed
him in the side after that comment, and Buster was silent for a little while
after that.
    "Ah think ah have to agree with Monsieur Bunny. Theez decorations are tres
manufique." Fifi and Hamton headed right for the refreshment table while
Buster and Babs went for the already – crowded dance floor.
    Shortly after the arrival of that toony quartet, the entire room went
silent with the sound of brakes squealing outside. The entire place rushed
outside to see what caused the noise. What they all saw was a long limo
parked in front of the door. A door opened on the side of the limo, and a
tall arctic tern stepped outside with a frantic look on his face.
    "Well that ride was horrifying! I tell you, never drive with that psycho
behind the wheel!" Marshall exclaimed as he attempted to catch his breath.
    "The limo company actually hired a driver who is that bad?" Buster asked.
    "No, I convinced the guy to let me drive. I guess the lesson here is never
drive with me."
    Within minutes the students had all reconvened within the gym, Marshall
stood propped up against a wall, gazing at the assembled group of toons.
    Shirley was still walking towards the school along a sidewalk. As she
progressed, a speeding car drove right next to her and through a large
puddle, splashing dirty water all over the loon as it passed. Shirley paused
and glared at the car for a moment before resuming her trek towards the
school.
    Marshall continued to watch as the Looniversity students danced. He didn't
say a word as he peered. He glanced over to the entrance just in time to see
Plucky and Angelina walk in.  For some reason, that made Marshall smirk a
little more than usual. He kept his attention on the doorway for several
more minutes, and he finally saw what he was looking for; Shirley the Loon,
mostly dried off by now, walked in.
    Shirley immediately noticed Marshall when she entered. He waved to her a
little, and Shirley's face suddenly turned very angry. The loon walked right
over to him and started speaking.
    "What are you doing here?" she asked in a less – than – pleased tone.
    "Can't I come and hang out where there are other people around my age?
After all, I'm only two years older than you, so I'm sure I could find
somebody I liked at your school," Marshall explained to her.
    "I don't think that would mean they would like you. You don't go to this
school. Why don't you go back to your own school and hang out at a dance
there?" Shirley asked as she took a large step back from him.
    "I can't do that. You see school doesn't work like that where I come from.
For one thing, in my town of about one hundred and fifty toons, all of the
teachers are psychic like you wouldn't believe. So, all the knowledge is
telepathically sent to you, so you learn at home in your mind; there is no
actual school building, and invisible schools tend to have lousy dances,"
Marshall told her.
    Shirley had no desire to hear any more of his sarcasm, or anything else he
had to say, so she started to walk away from him, but after taking a few
steps, she caught sight of Plucky and Angelina, and the Loon stopped dead in
her tracks.
    "I can't believe I have to look at that totally freaky couple all night,"
Shirley commented. "What does she see in him anyway?" Shirley glanced
behind her and saw Marshall with his right arm raised.
"Like, what did you have to go with it?"
    "Well, I kind of used a little mind control to make her want to go out
with Plucky. As for Plucky, well, I don't think any guy was going to turn
down a girl that looks like that," Marshall told her. Shirley's frown was
now bigger than ever. "Hey, don't look at me like that. I knew you'd go
back to him eventually, even though you really didn't want to, and I also
know for a fact that he would have taken you back."
    "And just how did you know that?" the angry loon asked.
    "Let's just say I didn't want you to have to settle for somebody you
really didn't want to go out with. I got the feeling you were going to ask
him to this dance."
    "You totally do not have the right to mess with my life like that!"
Shirley shouted at him. "If you want me to be less miserable, than totally
stay out of my life!"
    "Calm down. Your karma is all out of alignment right now. Just, sit back,
breathe and relax. Try not to get so angry about this."
    "You'd be angry too if your powers meant as much to you as mine do to me…"
Shirley thought to herself. Nevertheless, she did follow his instructions.
She closed her eyes, and appeared to be relaxing a little. It was kind of
like meditating on her feet. The reason she listened was not because he told
her to, but because she knew that getting this upset was not good for her
karma, and that she needed to re-center herself to deal with Marshall in a
calm and rational manner.
    There was a break between songs, and as soon as the music halted, Babs
walked over to the pair of toon birds. "Having fun, you two?"
    "Not even close, Babs."
    "Sorry to hear that Marsh," Babs said in a very pleasant tone.
"But at least Shirley came, and that's something. Only she would meditate
at a school dance, though. I didn't come over here to just let you talk with
the most beautiful toon at this dance, though."
"I was kind of hoping you came over to tell me you were ditching Buster so
you could come dance with me," Marshall said jokingly.
"As if you could get somebody like me, although you can try," Babs said
jokingly. "Seriously though, I was just surprised to see Shirley here since
she said she wasn't coming. I am especially surprised to see her here with
you."
"Why? Do you think she should have done better?" Marshall said in a tone
that lacked sincerity. Babs smiled a little and walked away.


    Marshall turned back to the Loon just as she opened her eyes.     "I get
along with that Babs friend of yours. You should really hang around her more
often. Anyway, back to the matter at hand. You know what," Marshall said to
her. "I'll go do something to help make at least part of this up to you."
He then walked away and over towards the refreshment table. There was a girl
about to apply perfume at the table. The bottle had been left sitting next
to the punch bowl. Just as the girl reached for it, Marshall grabbed it
away. As he headed away from the table, he quickly unscrewed the top of the
jar. He dashed by Elmer Fudd who has chaperoning. Marshall threw the
contents on Professor Fudd and continued walking.
    Before Elmer Fudd realized what had happened, Daffy had caught the scent of
the perfume, and he walked over with his eyes closed. "I hope when I open
my eyes you look as good as you smell," Daffy said. He then opened his eyes,
saw Elmer and nearly threw up. "Why are you wearing perfume?"
    "I have no idea."
    "Uh… tell you what, Elmer. Let's never speak of this again."
    As that was going on, Marshall had made his way over to the dance floor. He
pulled Fifi away from Hamton, promising to bring her back in a minute, and
then he began to speak with her.
    "Fifi, could you do me a favor? It's to help cheer up Shirley." He then
whispered something in her ear. Fifi nodded, took the empty perfume jar,
stuck the tip of her tail in and filled it with scent. Just as Fifi removed
the end of her tail from the jar, Marshall placed the lid back on and he
stepped over to Plucky, and pulled him halfway across the room, far away
from his date.
    "How's it going with Angelina?" Marshall asked.
    "Why do you care?" Plucky asked.
    "Hey, don't question why. This is your only chance to show off with
somebody actually listening to you."
    "Okay, I'll tell you!" Plucky stated eagerly. "It's great! She's a
knockout, a great dancer, and I'll bet she kisses a hundred times better
than Shirley ever did!"
    "Well, I think she might be getting a little bored. Trust me, I'm psychic,
so I know these things. Anyway, to help her have a good time, and make sure
you have a * really * good time, use this. It's a special love potion that
all women go nuts for." He then handed Plucky the jar. "Now, it may not
smell the best you, but I guarantee your date will go wild for it."
    "Thanks!" Plucky said. "Say, maybe you're not as bad of a guy as I
thought you were." Marshall smirked and slowly crept away. Plucky looked
over the bottle for another few seconds, then sprayed himself with a large
amount of "love potion "and walked towards his date.
    "You'll need this," Marshall said as he handed Shirley a clothespin.
Shirley saw that Marshall had one over his nose, as well as Buster, Babs,
Hamton and Fifi, and she quickly placed one over hers.
    As Plucky walked next to people, they all dropped like flies from the
overpowering stench. When Plucky walked up to his date, she turned dark
green and ran over to the punch bowl and dunked her head in. All that was
heard next was a loud retching sound followed by a slight color change in
the punch. Angelina then pulled her head out of the bowl and ran as fast as
she could out the door with a trail of punch that dripped off and Plucky
following behind her.
    As he removed the clothespin, Marshall asked," better?" Shirley still
looked displeased. "What now?"
    "That was totally mean, Marshall!"
    "I'm sorry, I thought you didn't want to see those two together."
    "That bimbo just bothered me, but that is no good reason to go and make
them leave like that. Well, you have totally helped make this night a total
bummer."
    A few more minutes passed, and after looking around the entire dance floor,
Shirley asked herself out loud," I wonder if Fowlmouth is going to walk
through that door and help make this night even worse."
    "Somehow, I doubt that'll happen. Trust me." Little did Shirley know that
at this moment Fowlmouth was standing at the end of his driveway wondering
why Angelina was taking so much time to pick him up.
    "Marshall showed me a picture of this babe, and boy is she hot! I hope she
hurries up and gets here," Fowlmouth thought to himself as he waited for a
date that wasn't coming.

    Just as the room had recovered from the green duck's horrible scent, Gogo
popped out of the clock and said," cuckoo! Cuckoo!" The most romantic song
of the night is coming up, so if you don't dance with your date you're
cuckoo! Cuckoo!"
    As the music started, most of the place huddled on the dance floor and
began to dance slowly with the music. Shirley, however, sat down. When she
glanced up a few seconds later, she saw a hand extended to her. It was
Marshall's.
    "Can I have this dance?"
    "You can't be serious."
    Marshall shrugged and left his hand extended. "Consider this my apology
for everything I've done tonight. I know it seems kind of sudden to be asked
to dance by the guy you were just fighting with, but it's better than
sitting here watching everybody else have fun." Shirley had no intention of
reaching back and dancing with him until her mind suddenly filled with
another set of images without her control. She saw the same thing as she did
before with the only difference being she could see the face. It was
Marshall's. She shook her head but the thought wouldn't go away. She was
also filled with another irresistible sensation like when she felt she had
to come to this dance in the first place. This time she felt she had to do
what she did next despite what she thought. The Loon reached her right hand
out, stood up, and walked with Marshall over to the dance floor.
    "Isn't it odd to see a loon dancing with a tern in a penguins suit?"
Marshall said. He then took a look directly into the Loon's face. "What?
Are you still miserable? Come on, you're at some big school dance spending
time with an older guy while your ex just ran out of here smelling like last
week's cafeteria meatloaf. What's wrong?"
    "I am dancing with a strange guy who has practically been stalking me for
weeks and for all I know you could be up to some dark evil junk."
    "Hey, just because you – know – who wrote this does not mean I have to be
dark or evil. That's their job," Marshall said, pointing over to the corner
of the room where Vicky and Eddie were dancing. "I know why you don't like
me, but I have looked into at least ten cases of the same thing as is
happening with you, and I have used the same method each time, and most
times I have learned at least something. Don't worry; in a little while,
I'll let you in on everything I know so far."
    The two continued to dance, neither one noticing that they were slowly
getting closer and closer as they danced. Out of the corner of her eye, Fifi
saw her friend dancing with Marshall, and the purple skunk's jaw hit the
floor.
    "Fine, so you won't follow me like some mondo creep. What about acting
like such a sarcastic jerk all the time? Will you stop that?"
    "Let's not go nuts. I won't change my whole personality for anybody. You
know what? That's exactly what I said to the last girl who asked me that."
    "Maybe you'd be a little more likeable if you did change a little."
    Marshall shrugged and smiled. The two continued dancing. Both noticed that
when they stopped talking, they could better appreciate each other. The
music was captivating; both noticed it was the most romantic song either had
ever heard.
    "Maybe you're right," he said to her.
    Both of them were thoroughly enjoying this dance despite how they thought
it would turn out.
    "De ja vu to the max," Shirley commented as they continued moving.
    "What gave you Déjà vu?" Marshall asked. He then paused and thought for a
second. "Wait a minute. Were you meditating before you got here?" Shirley
nodded yes. "And by any chance did you have the vision of dancing with the
faceless stranger and the speakers exploding?" Shirley nodded yes to that
also. "You know I can't read minds, especially not now, so we definitely
had the same vision. The only missing part is the exploding speaker."
    Just as Marshall said that, one of the speakers starting firing sparks
everywhere. "We're just having a few technical difficulties right now.
Please sit perfectly still until we fix this problem," a voice over the PA
said. Calamity Coyote ran to the broken speaker and pulled out the back. He
then started moving a few wires around. After doing that for a second,
Calamity was promptly electrocuted as the speakers turned back on and
Calamity sat as a pile of ash for a few seconds before pulling himself back
together and walking back into the crowd.

    As the song resumed, they drew closer and closer until there was almost no
separation between the two. Their faces started to move closer to each
other. The second the song ended, their lips connected and they kissed with
the whole room staring at them. After five seconds or so of kissing, both
Marshall and Shirley pushed the other to the ground, and both toon birds
appeared very shocked. Marshall was the first to stand up, and his knees
were noticeable shaking. What Marshall didn't notice in this gathered crowd
was a familiar old man.
    "Well, * that * was unexpected," he said nervously. He then paced around
for a second before Shirley stood up. Well, Shirley, wasn't that
interesting? Can I… can I talk to you for a second outside, please?" He then
started to walk outside with the Loon following right behind him.
    "Oooh! Looks like they want to be alone!" Montana Max called from within a
gathered crowd.
    "Don't make me hurt you," Marshall called back. The two then made it
outside and stepped around the corner of the gym so nobody would listen in.
    "So… what just happened back there? Which one of us did that?" Marshall
asked.
    "I don't have a clue. I didn't want to kiss you, but it was like I
couldn't stop myself.
    "I felt the same way. It was like there were magnets on the ends of our
lips or something. Maybe we just caught up in the song?"
    "Like, I doubt it. You could actually feel something physically drawing
them together."
    "You're tiny, your toony, this is really freaky…" Marshall sang in a quiet
voice. "So now it's not just our powers that act on their own, it's out
lips, too. I can honestly say I've never seen this before."
    Marshall paced around for a minute before suggesting that the two go back
in. The students waiting inside hooted and hollered as Marshall and Fifi
stepped back through the doors.
    "You are all so mature it's sickening," Marshall commented. Shirley and
him then walked over to Hamton, Fifi and the Bunnies. Just as Marshall was
about to speak, he spotted something. Quickly, he tapped Shirley on the
shoulder and pointed over to the back of the room.
    "Hey looney, have you seen that guy before?" Marshall asked, pointing over
to the old man.
    "Like, yeah. He is some freaky old man that talked to me in the street and
showed up at my house."
    "He started talking to me before, too. Why would he be here?"
    The old man soon realized that he had been spotted, and he started to run
out of the gym. Considering his age, this person had very good speed.
Marshall took off like a shot, pushing toons out of the way as he pursued
this person. As Marshall turned a corner, he could here what sounded like an
electric shock coming from inside the gym. Marshall was faced with the
choice of continuing to go after this person or to go back and check what
the noise was, and the tern turned around and ran back into the gym.
    "Not again!" he shouted as he saw Shirley's powers once again going
haywire. She was sitting down with sparks flying everywhere out of her
hands. Her aura was also standing separate from her body, but it was red and
translucent. Once again, Marshall pushed Acme students out of the way, this
time to get back to Shirley. "This is going to hurt in the morning…" he
then grabbed her hand. His aura also slipped out of his body and stood next
to Shirley's, and these images of the two toons seemed to be talking,
although no words were coming out. Meanwhile, the sparks were starting to
calm down. Marshall's face displayed that he was clearly in pain, but he
still held onto Shirley's hand because he noticed there was a difference in
the level of sparks. Also, the pained expression on Shirley's face had
become a little better. Shirley glanced over at him and saw what he was
doing, and she did smile a little. After what seemed like an eternity, the
shocks stopped, and both psychic toons collapsed on the floor. The auras
looked at each other, and Shirley's joined back up with her. Just as
Marshall's was about to do the same, the tern stood up and started walking
away, although with the strange appearance of his eyes now, it was obvious
to anybody that had seen it before he had no entered a sleepwalking trance
once again. Marshall's body wandered off into the night with his aura
running after it. Shirley's friends brought her over a glass of water and
tried to wake her up with it. What nobody knew what that the mysterious old
man had watched the whole thing. He left the room as soon as the Loon was
conscious looking absolutely stunned after what he had just witnessed.
    "Where did he go?" Shirley asked in a weak voice.
    "Marshall? We don't know. He just took off with a really strange look in
his eyes," Babs explained. Shirley immediately figured out what the strange
look meant. "Like, I have to go after him…"
    "You just had a major shock Shirley," Hamton said. "I don't think running
out there in the dark to find him is such a good idea."
    "I have an idea," Buster said. He then whistled, and seconds later, Little
Beeper was standing next to him. "Beeper, see if you can find Marshall for
us."
    "Meep meep!" Beeper said right before he sped out the door.
    "Would vous like to see a doctor?" Fifi asked.
    "No, just like take me home or some junk," Shirley said. All of her
friends assisted her in making it back home, except Plucky who never did
come back. It took a little while, but they got Shirley home safely, and the
Loon told her mom that she would try and explain everything in the morning.
Then, she went directly to sleep on the couch.
    The doorbell rang at two in the afternoon the next day. Shirley was still
asleep. During the night, Shirley's parents had moved her into her own room.
Her mother walked to the front door and opened it to see the old man once
again standing before her.
    "Don't you know you are just terrible for the karma in this house?" Mrs.
Loon said as she answered the door. "Ever since you've been hanging around,
my daughter has been through a terrible experience. Her powers don't work,
her karma is completely messed up, and her emotions have been tampered with.
Why you could think I would welcome you at my house is beyond me."
    "Mrs. Loon, you know as well as I do I am an essential part of this
process, just like you know this process is absolutely necessary. For longer
than you or I care to imagine this has been as a test to separate the strong
from the weak, the worthy from the unworthy. Your parents understood much
better when you were going through it than you are now. There has however
been a complication. Last night I witnessed one of our worst fears come
true. Shirley had another episode, and when Marshall came to her aid, he
helped nullify the attack. You know as well as I do what that means."
    "Well, I can't say I'm unhappy about it," Mrs. Loon said.
    "You might just be. What we are seeing is very rare. Because of that, the
tests now become more difficult and longer. There may, however, still be
time to stop this from happening. You have to make a serious effort to keep
the two separated, and just maybe you can spare your daughter the more
serious trial.
    "I have heard about how much they fight, so I can't believe they would
spend much time together anyway," Mrs. Loon pointed out.
    "That won't last for long, especially not now. I can't say for sure how
much time there is until you no longer have the chance to keep them apart
before its too late; my predictions on the subject seemed a little hazy this
morning, but I would not think they have that much time. I would like to
take a more active role in this, but I have to remain just an observer to
all of this. I will continue to pose as a senile old man who speaks
strangely."
    The two talked for a few minutes more about the situation before Mrs. Loon
couldn't tolerate him. Just before she closed the door on him, the elderly
man spoke once more. "Before I go, I think I should give you the speech I
normally give to concerned parents. I was hoping that you were beyond this
seeing as how you've been there before, but I suppose not. This rite of
passage is a normal test, one that is vital and can lead to great things. Do
not interfere or your daughter will never realize her full potential. This
should not hurt her, and nobody suffers any real harm from it. There is one
last thing to keep in mind; you can't tell them anything." Mrs. Loon slammed
the door right then.

    Early Monday afternoon, there was another visitor at the door. Shirley had
stayed home that day because she was still feeling some after effects from
the shock on Saturday. On the other side of the door was Marshall, who did
not look like he was feeling well at all. His eyes were a little glazed
over, and his head was sitting in a way that made it look like his neck had
gone limp.
    "So how are you?" he asked.
    "I think I'm like a little better. Yuck! You look like a bus hit you or
some junk," she said as she examined his terrible appearance.
    "Who knows? It might have. After Friday night I sleepwalked until this
morning when my aura reconnected with me on a ditch… in Sacramento. I have
no idea how I got there but I spent most of today flying back even though I
don't know where the energy to do that came from."
    "Like maybe you should come in. Some vegetable juice or a tofu sandwich
could make you feel better," the Loon suggested. Marshall nodded yes, walked
inside and sat down in her kitchen. Marshall ate a few bites of the food
Shirley gave to him, and then began to speak.
    "I've been thinking. There has got to be somebody out there who knows
something about what's happening to us, right? Since I don't think anybody
around here knows, or if they did they wouldn't tell us, so we could always
try the Internet Psychic's Union."
    Minutes later, the two were on Shirley's computer searching for this site.
"Let's see," Marshall said as he examined the search results. "Well, not a
single thing in the first twenty results is even relevant. In fact, the best
thing that came up is some site hosted on AOL called the Tiny Toon
Adventures fan fiction archive."
    "Well, we could always take a minute and look at that. It could be fun."
    "No, we don't have time for that kind of thing."
    After another half an hour of searching, the two finally came across what
they were looking for. They clicked on and began to search through the
information. "This is a weird sounding link. They don't even say what it
is. It just says R.o.P. Let me try to click on it." For a second, Marshall
felt a strange sensation in his mind, and then the link disappeared off the
screen. "That was strange." He then continued to browse through the page
until they came across a Message Board. Together, the two described exactly
what was happening and asked if there was any sort of explanation that
anybody could offer. Two minutes later, they hit the reload button to see if
there had been any posts in reply, only to discover that their post had been
deleted.
    "That is mondo freaky," Shirley commented.
    "No kidding. Let's try to post it again." Once again, they tried, and the
post was again deleted. The two tried to find out if there was some kind of
error with the site or with the computer. After a while, however, they gave
up on this. Out of instinct, Shirley headed over towards her crystal ball.
Just as she was about to try and use it, it hit her that it would not work.
    "Maybe you should try it," she suggested.
    "Why? I could never use one of these before."
    "What are you talking about? You can't even use a simple crystal ball?"
    "Nope. Just like you can't teleport. Of course, right now I won't teleport
because who knows where I'll end up walking to next."
Before they had realized it, three hours had passed and Shirley's parents
had arrived home. The two rushed to the window to see whom it was. It was
the old man. He didn't even ring the bell this time, but instead he opened
the door.
"There is a situation occurring right now, and you two are not even
stopping it," the elderly gentleman stated. "You must keep them apart. For
the moment, however, I shall deal with the matter."
Both could hear what was happening. "Well, that's my cue to exit."
"Wow, you were surprisingly not a jerk today," Shirley stated.
"And you were surprisingly not hyper-sensitive today," he replied. They
both smiled after the comments. "I guess being through an experience like
what happened at the dance will make you act a little differently towards
each other. Tomorrow, if you're up to it, we are going to start on a plan to
get some information out of this geezer. Now is not the time, though."
Marshall then took off. He flew out the window right before the old man
entered the room.


Part IV coming soon…