A Rabbit Out Of Time by Matt Bermann ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- OK, this is my second story, and it is inspired by something I read about a story called "Quantoon Leap", that is MIA. I decided that time travel in a TTA story would be a good idea, so, well, I won't spoil the story for you! I hope you enjoy this little story a lot more than I enjoyed ruining my wrists typing it out! :) Anyway, as always, you can contact me at: Eddie@iprolink.co.nz and I request that you do, and give me some feedback. It doesn't matter how small it may seem, every comment is appreciated! Today's inane pre-story quote: "If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey! A free dummy." - Jack Handy ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Babs tapped her foot angrily. Buster was supposed to pick her up 15 minutes ago! Where the heck had he gotten to? Never mind, he would be here soon, right? Buster stepped out from his burrow, admiring his tuxedo. He had to admit, Plucky sure knew how to pick a suit! This one suited him perfectly. A black jacket and pants (they were uncomfortable, but Buster figured that he would become used to wearing them in no time at all), accompanied by a white ruffled shirt, black bow tie, and pretty darn fancy shoes that were polished to a sparkle. The image was topped off with a gold-topped cane and a black top hat, with holes specially cut for his ears. He polished his cufflinks, and in doing so, he caught a glance at his watch. "Oh no! I'm late! Late for a very important date!" he thought to himself. He took off his hat and rocketed off towards Babs' burrow. By this time, Babs had grown more than a little impatient. "Where's Buster? He is probably doing this on purpose, to stress me out. Yeah, that must be it." she thought. "Well, he had better get his blue heiny over here fast!" She had no intention of missing this night. This was the most important social event of the year, the dance to end all dances. Buster had been understandably nervous about it, and made no attempt to brag about his dancing ability, in fact, he had done quite the opposite. He was surprisingly modest about his dancing skills. A blue streak of lightning zigzagged through the forest, before skidding to a stop just around the corner from Babs' burrow. Buster put his hat back on, tilted it forward, and strolled leisurely around the corner. "Oh, hello, Babs." he said calmly. "Running a bit late, Buster?" "Really? I hadn't really paid that much attention to the time," he lied. The truth was, he had spent the better part of an hour getting ready, and he had still been 15 minutes late picking up Babs. She didn't need to know that. "Well, we had better be off then! By the way, nice suit!" "Thanks, Babs. You look great!" That, he didn't need to lie about. She looked gorgeous, wearing a long red dress, that complimented her pink fur. She wore a stunning necklace, made of pure gold. High heel shoes adorned her feet. Her purple bows were gone, replaced with gold coloured ones. He had to admit, she looked ravishing. He couldn't wait to get to the dance to show her off. "He does look good," Babs thought to herself. The suit fit him perfectly, he certainly looked quite the smooth bunny. She couldn't wait to get to the dance to show him off. Buster held out his arm to Babs, who wrapped hers around it, and they started off towards Acme Loo. After a few minutes of pleasant walking, however, they came across Plucky, wearing his usual attire, although his shirt was badly torn and covered with grease. "Boy, am I glad I found you guys! You have GOT to see this!" "Plucky!" exclaimed Buster. "What are you talking about?" "And why aren't you dressed for the dance?" added Babs. "Come with me, you'll see." said Plucky. "We can't, Plucky, we have to get to the dance!" replied Buster. "Aww, come on, guys! It won't take a minute! You HAVE to come see!" Buster looked over at Babs, who only rolled her eyes and shrugged. Turning back to Plucky, he said, "Alright, but it had better be quick!" Plucky lead the Bunnies to a cave on the outskirts of Acme Acres. As they went, Babs grew more and more irritated. "So much for only taking a minute," she muttered when they finally got there. "Ah, take it easy, Babs," said Plucky. "Trust me, it'll all be worth it." Just then, heavy, dark clouds rolled in, and it began to rain. "Oh, great," said Buster, and they all walked into the cave. At first, the cave was just a tunnel, but eventually it opened up to a great cavern. In the cavern, was Calamity, pressing buttons on a huge machine. Buster's jaw dropped. "Wha.. what the heck is this?" he asked. "This, my good man, is a time machine." replied Plucky, smugly. "I'll let Calamity explain." Calamity frowned at Plucky, took out a piece of paper and a pen, and started scribbling. After a few moments, he handed the paper to Buster. Buster squinted at the messy writing. He began reading. "This is my greatest achievement, the All-purpose-flux-induced-space-time-fusion-particle- hyper-reality-time-shifter. In laymen's terms, a time machine. This device can transport you anywhere, and anywhen, thanks to the antenna attached to the tree directly above this cavern." As if on cue, Calamity pointed straight up, at a wire poking through the roof of the cavern. Buster continued reading. "This unit draws it's power entirely from water, so is extremely economical to run." Plucky opened a flap on the device, and pulled out a pizza. "It also cooks a fine pizza!" he added. Calamity slapped his forehead. "Now, allow me to demonstrate for you." said Plucky, and he stepped onto a pad located in the center of the machine. Calamity obliged. Plucky disappeared in a flash of light, and reappeared 5 seconds later. "Wow!" exclaimed Babs. Plucky walked calmly up to Buster. "Pretty cool, eh? Eh?" he asked as he nudged Buster in the ribs. "Gee.. I don't know. Are you sure this is such a good idea?" asked Buster. "Sure it is! Just have a look for yourself!" "Weeeelll.." said Buster, unconvinced. He wandered around the machine, inspecting it. Just at that moment, a gust of wind knocked the antenna out of its perch. As it fell, it was struck by lightning. Inside the cavern, Babs consulted a huge, dusty, book. "Ah, here it is." she said. "Cliche 1296. Scientific experiment struck by lightning, causing adverse effects." She slammed the book shut, and threw it away. The machine started to rumble from the power surge. Babs span around quickly, changing into a certain well-known engineer. "Ach, cap'n, I dinnae think she can take this!" she shouted with a strong Scottish accent. She span again, returning to her normal self. "Hey, Buster!" she said, looking for him. "Let's get out of here! Hey, where are you?" "Over here, Babs!" he shouted. He was standing on the pad. Calamity held up a sign. "Uh-oh." Suddenly, Buster started to glow. There was a blinding flash of light, and he was gone. A single, singed glove floated to the ground. Babs picked it up. "Buster!" The cavern started to shake violently. A large rock fell on the machine, crushing it. Boulders started to fall all around. Plucky grabbed Babs, and started dragging her out. "C'mon! There is nothing you can do! We'll come back when it's safe!" "Buster!" she shouted again, to no avail. The three toons just made it out of the cave, when a rockslide came crashing down and completely blocked the entrance. * * * * * * * * * * * * Buster awoke. He found himself in complete darkness. A few strains of sunlight came in from his right. He staggered over towards the light. He felt around. His hands bumped across something. It felt like... rocks? "I must still be in the cave!" he thought to himself. "But why is it so dark? And where is everybody?" He jumped up and kicked away the rocks, and as he squeezed through the hole he had created, he noticed that one of his gloves was missing. "Hmm. Better take the other one off. Don't want to look like some wierdo, with only one glove on." he thought. He walked out into the light and was greeted by a familiar sight. There before him, was Acme Acres, but it was different. Where the forest had once been, there was now a barren desert. "What the..?" Buster made his way away from the cave. At the first tree he came across, he zipped in behind it, and emerged in a more familiar red sweater, but he was still missing one glove. He made his way to Acme Loo. Maybe someone there would be able to tell him what was going on! He arrived at Acme Loo, but where the proud building had once stood alone, it was now surrounded by a cityful of skyscrapers, condos, and smog-producing factories. He gasped. He ran towards the city. He ran past a newsstand, and skidded to a halt. He hopped back towards it, and picked up a paper. He was horrified. Underneath the title, was the date. May 16, 2041. He had travelled 45 years forward in time! He dropped the paper in shock. Amidst strange looks from the toons around him, he ran off. He made his way to the Looniversity. He arrived, but could not believe his eyes. The building was a wreck. Cracks spread across it's walls, and most of the windows were missing. It was obviously abandoned, unused in God knows how long. Buster ran inside, hoping that the library would still be intact. Fortunately for him, it was. He ran to the reference section, and scanned the shelves. At last, he found the book he was after, "A Hundred Year History of Warner Bros." It was printed 11 years ago, but Buster hoped that the information he needed would be there. He flipped through the pages. He eventually came across his own entry in the book. BUNNY, Buster. A promising student of Bugs Bunny (see BUNNY, Bugs) , Buster was hotly tipped to take over the role of Bugs when he retired. He was responsible for many fine works, until his premature death, on May 16, 1996. "Is that it? Is that all I got?" Buster thought to himself. He flipped back a few pages. He scanned the page, until he found what he was looking for. BUNNY, Barbra Anne (Babs). Long considered one of the success stories of Acme Looniversity, her promising career was cut short by the death of her partner, Buster Bunny (see BUNNY, Buster). After that event, she slipped into relative obscurity. She appeared in a few Plucky Duck shorts (see DUCK, Plucky), but slipped into manic depression, ten years after Buster's death. She was briefly awarded the Principal's position at Acme Looniversity (see ACME LOONIVERSITY), after Bugs Bunny's retirement, in 2012. However, she abandoned this position on May 16, 2013. The position was then filled by Plucky Duck. She has not been heard from since her final cartoon short, "A weekend in Paradise", made in July, 2019. Buster noted the date Babs quit the principal's job. May 16. The date of his "death". Unfortunately, the entry did not contain the information Buster was really searching for; where she was now. He flipped forward a page. BUNNY, Bugs. For many years, the icon of all Warner Bros. cartoons. He had a long and illustrious career, beginning... Buster skipped through that paragraph. That was stuff he already knew. He found the stuff he needed to know, and continued reading. Bugs announced his retirement on August 12, 2012. He retired from his position as Principal at Acme Looniversity (see ACME LOONIVERSITY) on September 1, 2012. He moved to the northern districts of Acme Acres, where he remains to this day. It would seem that, eleven years ago, Acme Looniversity was still alive and well. What happened? He flipped forward in the book several pages. DUCK, Plucky This illustrious character is one of the most famous characters in Warner history, his fame only exceeded by Bugs Bunny (see BUNNY, Bugs). His career began on the show 'Tiny Toon Adventures' which continued until shortly after it's star, Buster Bunny (see BUNNY, Buster) was killed in an accident. An attempt was made to thrust Plucky into the starring role, but the show flopped. Undeterred, Plucky launched his own show, 'The Plucky Duck Hour' in 1998. This was an unprecedented success, giving Plucky international stardom overnight. After Babs Bunny's (see BUNNY, Babs) brief, unsuccessful stint as Principal of Acme Looniversity (see ACME LOONIVERSITY), the job was offered to Plucky. He accepted, and this served to enhance his career. He launched a series of shows, all of which were successful, with the exception of 'Plucky!', a talk show, launched in 2015. Plucky remains in the Principal's position to this day, instructing young toons in the art of comedy. Just then, a thought struck Buster. City development, forest destruction, pollution? Of course! It could only be one person... Montana Max! He turned several more pages, until the entry he was after appeared before his eyes. MAX, Montana This character, the most infamous Acme Looniversity (see ACME LOONIVERSITY) student, caused many problems for his instructors. He attempted many felonies, including attempting to bribe one of his professors. He attempted to embezzle money from Bugs Bunny (see BUNNY, Bugs), and Daffy Duck (see DUCK, Daffy) He was expelled by Bugs, in 2002. He attempted to re-apply after Bugs retired, but was turned down by Babs Bunny (see BUNNY, Babs) during her brief time as Principal. He has not been heard from since. His last public action was the seperation of Acme Acres (see ACME ACRES) from the continent. Buster found his curiosity aroused by the last sentence, so he looked up Acme Acres in the book. He began reading. ACME ACRES Acme Acres is the area where most toons reside. It was created in 1989, by an unknown person. Its central feature is Acme Looniversity (see ACME LOONIVERSITY), created by Bugs Bunny (see BUNNY, Bugs). Acme Acres was purchased in 2019 by Montana Max (see MAX, Montana), with the exception of Acme Looniversity. Max orderedthat Acme Acres be seperated from the rest of the continent, and this was done in 2022. Large amounts of explosives were planted along the border, and detonated. This caused Acme Acres to be separated from the American continent, and float to its current position, 60 miles due north of Samoa. "Hmm.. Interesting." thought Buster, "But how does all this help me get back to change it all?" He took the book, and put it down his sweater. He decided to find Calamity, and the best way to do that was to find Plucky. Plucky would surely know where Calamity was, after all, it WAS Calamity's time machine that got Buster out of his path to stardom! Now, he just had one place to go first. He headed to Bugs' old office. The door was covered in huge black writing, "Plucky Duck, Principal". If Montana Max had something to do with closing Acme Looniversity, surely there would be some record here. Buster scanned the room. The place was lined with dust, and cobwebs. Spiders scurried about the place. The walls were plastered with pictures of Plucky, apart from one picture, a picture of Bugs and Babs standing outside the Looniversity entrance. "Well," said Buster to himself, "It seems that Plucky DOES have a heart, even if it is a small one." He wandered over to the filing cabinet. It was a complete mess. Knowing Plucky, Buster guessed that he was too cheap to hire a secretary. Oh well, it would just take a little longer than he had expected to find the file he was after. He flipped through the files, and found two of interest. One was marked "Acme Looniversity Financial Records", the other, "Urgent Business". Buster looked through the Financial records. Most of it contained boring numbers and figures, save for the last two pages. The second to last page was a memo. Buster examined it carefully. To: All professors From: Plucky Duck, Principal Date: November 22, 2029. Subject: Action regarding last meeting. As discussed in our previous meeting, I have evidence to suggest that someone is stealing money from the Looniversity funds. The problem is much worse than previously thought. Most of the school funds have disappeared, and if they are not located, we will have insufficient money to complete another school year. I am ordering a full investigation into the matter. I will keep all informed of any progress into the matter. Buster folded the memo up, and put it inside the book that was down his sweater. He looked at the last page in the file. NOTICE OF FORECLOSURE This letter is to inform the treasurer of Acme Looniversity, that an inspection of your accounts has led us to make a decision. The funds are critically low, and it is our opinion that the Looniversity will be unable to pay it's short term debts. It is our sad duty to forcefully declare the Looniversity bankrupt, and request that all operations in the Looniversity cease immediately of this date, January 19, 2030. Montana Max, Bank President. Aha! So, Monty DID have something to do with all this! It would seem that being thrown out of school did nothing to affect Monty's financial status, as by the looks of things, he had bought the whole island, including Acme Loo! Buster decided to keep the notice as well, as he might need it. He threw the other financial records onto the floor, and opened the file marked "Urgent Business". Inside was one piece of paper. Buster examined it carefully. PROGRESS REPORT TO: Plucky Duck FROM: T. Johnson, auditor. DATE: January 16, 2030. The investigation I am conducting has confirmed your initial suspicion, large sums of money are being embezzled from the school funds. I doubt that this activity is being conducted by a professor or student at Acme Looniversity, it is more likely that an outside source has somehow gained access to the Max Bank account, and is filtering money out. I have examined all evidence available at this time, and I have eliminated all but two suspects: Montana Max, the president of Max Bank, or Daffy Duck. Both have motives to wish Acme Looniversity out of comission, and they both have means of acheiving it. At the moment, it seems more likely that Daffy Duck is the guilty party, as the act being committed is harming Max Bank significantly. The money being pulled out of the Acme Looniversity account is also reducing Max Bank's capital investment, and could ruin the bank. I will continue the investigation, and contact you again when I have more news. T. Johnson. Buster decided to keep this as well. He didn't understand something, though. What was Daffy's motive? Monty had the obvious motive, being kicked out of Acme Loo, but why would Daffy do it? It made no sense at all. Buster left the office, and searched the Looniversity for a working phone. He had to find where Plucky lived, and he felt sure that the operator would be able to tell him. After much searching, he eventually found a phone in working order. He dialled the operator. "Acme Acres operator, whaddya want?" "Erm, could you tell me the address of a Plucky Duck?" "Well, I'm on my lunch break, but I'll see what I can do." "Thanks a lot." He heard the beeping of buttons being pushed. "He lives on the East Coast of the island, his house is the only one there, and, hey! Why isnt this video working? Why can't I see you?" "Huh? Oh..... umm, this is a pretty old phone." "You really should consider upgrading. I can sell you a vid-phone for $1200 right here and now." "No thanks, I don't need one, but..." The phone slammed down. "Geez, what a grouch." Buster thought. * * * * * * * * * * * * Buster arrived at the East Coast, expecting to see Plucky mansion, or something along those lines. He was quite surprised to find that Plucky's place of residence was a simple singly-storey house, a very no-frills affair. Buster made his way to the front door, and rapped on it loudly with his gloveless hand. No answer. He knocked again, louder. "GO AWAY!" a voice shouted from inside. It sounded sort of like Plucky, but Buster couldn't be sure. He started to get annoyed. He span his arm around, faster, faster. He slammed his fist into the door at full speed. The whole house shook. A few seconds later, the door opened. "Didn't you hear me? I'm trying to..... YOU!" Plucky exclaimed. "Me." said Buster, bowing a little. "B.. b.. bu..but you're d...d..d.." "Dead? You might have thought so, but no." "It can't be! I saw you die, in that cave!" "No, you saw me disappear. You should have more faith in Calamity's creations!" "Y..y..you had better come in." "Thank you, Plucky." said Buster, stepping in. Buster walked down the corridor, into the living room. He sat down on the couch. He looked over at Plucky, and for the first time, actually noticed what he looked like. He looked very similar to Daffy, but had a larger stomach. He was also slightly taller, and of course, he was green. Age had been kind to Plucky, he still looked good. Plucky was the first to speak. "If you didn't die, where did you go?" "I didn't GO anywhere. The lightning must have overloaded the machine, or something like that. But whatever happened, it transported me 45 years into the future, to the day!" "That's amazing! We all thought that you were vapourised or something like that!" "Well, that doesn't matter now. I have to get back. I need you to fill me in on what's happened. I have been to the Looniversity, and read some of this book." Buster said, producing the book. "That thing? That only tells half of the story." "That is why I am here." Plucky sighed. "OK, I'll tell you what I remember." "Thanks." "After the lightning struck, rocks started to fall all around. We had to drag Babs out by the ears. Rocks fell down, and blocked the entrance. We ran to Acme Loo, and told everyone what had happened. Babs lost it, she just went crazy. We had to tie her to the floor, to let her calm down. It was too dark to search, and the rain made things even more difficult. We eventually abandoned the search, and decided to come back at first light. No one got much sleep that night. The next morning, we carried on. We moved the rocks, and searched the cavern, but there was nothing there, apart from the wrecked machine, so we resealed the entrance to stop anyone else getting in there. We searched the whole of Acme Acres for you, but there was no sign of you. After a few weeks, we pretty much gave up." "What about Tiny Toons?" Buster asked. "Ahh.. Shirley and I were made the stars, but Babs quit. That show just went down the tubes without you two. It didn't even last half a season." "What happened then?" asked Buster. "Well, nothing much, for about a year. I did a few cartoons with Babs, but she never smiled, never laughed, never told a joke. I launched my show, and I made it big time, but Babs just got worse and worse." "What about Bugs? Why did he retire?" "That book doesn't tell anywhere near the truth about Bugs. He just collapsed. He started drinking, and he was fired in 2012. He didn't retire at all. He moved up north, to live by himself. I don't even know if he's still alive. Babs became Principal for a few months, but she couldn't handle it. She just got depressed, and left. They gave me the job then, and I had it for a few years. Then it all ended." "What do you mean? What happened to Acme Loo?" "Well, it all started a few years after you left. Monty was caught cheating in an exam by Daffy, and Monty bribed him. A few weeks later, he was caught by Bugs, and he tried bribing him, too. But Bugs wouldn't have it. He expelled Monty on the spot. Monty, being Monty, decided to take Daffy with him. He told Bugs about bribing Daffy, and Daffy was fired. Bugs made him leave Acme Acres altogether. Monty tried to get back in when Bugs was fired, but Babs didn't even consider taking him in again. What that book doesn't say is that he tried it again with me. He offered me a million bucks to get back in. I said no, I already had millions of dollars. I thought that was the end of it. Boy, was I wrong. About 12 years ago, money started disappearing from the Loo's funds. I launched an investigation, and eventually came to the conclusion that it was Daffy who was stealing the money in order to get revenge for being fired. What no one realized, was that Monty had bought out the bank with our money in it, and started transferring money to his private account. We didn't figure it out until it was too late. We had to close the Looniversity. Monty bought the Looniversity, and closed it. He made Acme Acres into the hell you see today." "Plucky, I can't let this happen. I have to get back to 1996. I need Calamity's help." "That might be easier said than done. I'm afraid Calamity is dead. He died in an accident about 5 years ago. He was working in his lab one night, and someone broke in, there was a fight, and I don't know what happened, but the whole place blew up, taking Calamity with it." "Oh, man! How will I get back now? The time machine is wrecked!" "Calamity always kept a written record of his experiments, but I don't know where he kept them, if that is any help at all." "Great! Now all I have to do is find them, and rebuild the time machine myself! Great!" Buster put his hands over his face. "Plucky, I am gonna need your help with this one." "I can't, Buster. I am too old. But maybe there are some people who can. Get ready to tunnel, we are going on a trip!" "Where to?" "A place called Burbank, California. You might have heard of it." * * * * * * * * * * * * A hole suddenly appeared in the middle of an abandoned lot of land, in the middle of Burbank, California. Buster jumped up out of it, followed by Plucky, who crawled out. Plucky was panting heavily. "Phew! That trip is a lot longer than I remember!" "What gives? I thought this was the Warner Bros. movie lot!" "It is. Well, it was. They moved to San Franscisco about six years ago." "Well, what are we doing here then? Let's go to Frisco!" "Wait a minute. I haven't told you the whole story. In 2003, the Warners escaped from the water tower again, but that time, they took the CEO of Warner Bros. hostage. They threatened to kill him. Eventually, the police caught them. They were tried, and found to be criminally insane. They were sealed inside the tower, and the tower itself was buried underground." He pointed downwards. "Well, lets get them out!" "Yeah, but be careful. If they were criminally insane back then, God knows what another 38 years in that tower has done to them." "I can't worry about that now. Four young toons will be able to search Acme Acres a lot faster than one, and when we find Calamity's plans, I can go back. If I am back there, who knows, the Warners might never end up underground." "Yeah, I suppose you are right. Well, start digging, then!" "Thanks for the help, Pluckster." "Shut up. I'm old." * * * * * * * * * * * * Yakko and Wakko were in the kitchen, making some lunch, and Dot was re-re-re-reading her last copy of TV Guide. It was 38 years old, but hey! Suddenly, there was a loud scratching noise on the roof of the tower. The two brothers emerged from the kitchen. "I wonder what that noise is?" Yakko asked. "If its more worms, I get 'em!" said Wakko. "Don't worry, if it's worms, you can have them. If it's Mel, I take no responsibility for my actions." replied Dot. "It sounds like worms to me! I'm getting them!" shouted Wakko. He pulled out his gag bag, and dived in. He emerged a few moments later, carrying a jackhammer. "OK, worms, time to meet your maker!" * * * * * * * * * * * * Buster looked upwards at Plucky, who was standing beside the hole he had dug. "Hey, Plucky, I think I have hit the jackpot!" Plucky threw a rope down the hole for Buster to climb up. It was an interesting question, how WERE they going to get into the water tower? Buster clambered over the top. Just then, a loud noise came from the hole. They both looked down, to see a hole in the water tower. Wakko stood atop the tower, carrying a jackhammer. "Oh! No worms!" He was just about to go down into the water tower, when he realized. "Hey, wait a minute. This tunnel ain't supposed to be here.. YAKKO! Come look at this!" "What is it, Sib? Hey, sunlight! Now there's an invention that never goes out of style!" "Hey!" shouted Buster, "Climb the rope!" "Gotcha!" said Yakko. They started climbing. "Hey, Yakko," said Wakko, "What's that big blue thing?" "It's called the sky. I think." The Warner siblings climbed up out of the hole and stood before the two other toons. As they were dusting off their clothes, Yakko looked at Buster and exclained, "Hey! I recognize you! Didn't you used to sell tacos?" "No." "Pizza? I know I saw your face somewhere. Don't tell me... chocolate milk! That's it, isn't it?" "No." "Just gimme a minute with this one. Umm.. you sure you didn't sell tacos?" "No!" "Hmm.. can't say I remember you." Buster sighed. "I'm Buster Bunny. I need your help. But before that, just answer me one thing. Why did you take the CEO hostage?" "Ahh.. well, our good friend from Tiny Toon Adventures, Buster Bunny, was killed in an accident. His girlfriend didn't get a cent, no one did. We were trying to get comprehensive life insurance policies for all Warner toons. When Buster.... Hey! What did you say your name was?" said Yakko. "Bunny. Buster Bunny." "But you're.. the guy from... now I remember! Buster! Pal! How've you been? We thought you were dead!" "It's a long story." Upon hearing that, Wakko whipped out his gag bag. He pulled three chairs out. The Warner sibs sat down on the chairs, and looked expectantly at Buster. "Well?" Buster sighed. Again. * * * * * * * * * * * * Thirty minutes passed, with the Warner sibs listening intently to Buster's story. "That's a pretty good story." said Dot. "I'd give it an 8.7." added Yakko. Wakko would have added something too, but his mouth was full of popcorn. He chewed a bit. "Haff wozzle tuff sphak tug!" he added, his mouth still full. "Riiiiight." said Buster, "So, will you guys help me find Calamity's notes?" "Sure." said Yakko, "We hadn't planned anything else for tonight." "Excellent." replied Buster, "Well, let's get back to Acme Acres then!" During the trip back, a thought struck Buster. What was up with Plucky? Why wasn't he selfishly refusing to help? "Hey, Plucky!" he shouted. "Yeah?" Plucky asked, from behind Buster. "I have to ask you something. Why haven't you been acting in your usual, one might even say, trademark, selfish and greedy way?" "Listen, kid. I have had more than enough of money. All it brings is trouble. That's why I gave it all away." "You did WHAT? You GAVE what? YOU?" "Yeah, me." Plucky replied, a little offended. "Wow.. I guess time really does change people." "Not everyone, Buster." * * * * * * * * * * * * The five of them arrived back at Acme Acres, just outside Plucky's house. "I'm sorry I can't help you kids, but I'm too old. I'd just slow you down. Good luck, though." "OK, Plucky. Thanks for all of your help." "Yeah, yeah. Now just hurry up and get back to your own time so none of this happens." "Don't rush him, Plucky. He is suffering from a post-traumatic self-delusional deep-seated lack of confidence." said Wakko, putting the psychology book back into his gag bag. "Uh huh." replied Plucky. "Well, just hurry up and get outta here already!" "We're gone!" said Buster, "I'll see you 45 years ago!" * * * * * * * * * * * * The four toons fanned out, and began searching high and low for the notes. Buster ran through the remains of the forest, and came across a hole in the ground. "Hmm, maybe Calamity hid his notes here." He jumped down into the hole. To his surprise, it was a rabbit burrow. He wandered through the burrow, too shocked to speak. He walked to the end of a long hallway, and turned. Before him, stood a massive chamber, with a wooden floor. Bookcases lined the walls, and in the centre, was a table and chair, facing away from him. He slowly made his way towards the chair, looking all around himself. He walked around the side of the chair, and was completely taken off guard. It was Babs. She lay asleep in the chair before him. She looked so different, so... old. She looked at least eighty, even though she couldn't have been anywhere near that old. He put his hand on her shoulder. "Babs?" She stirred. He shook her by the shoulder. "Babs! Wake up!" She slowly opened her eyes. At first, they only opened halfway, but when she saw who was standing in front of her, they opened wide. "B... Buster?" "Hi, Babs." She jumped up out of the chair. It was then that Buster realised just how tall she really was. She towered over him, much taller than Bugs. She backed away from him, holding up her hands. "You.. you're dead! I must be crazy! Leave me alone!" He lifted his hands, in a gesture of peace. "Babs," he said, "I'm not dead. I never died at all. Remember what I was standing on! A time machine! You saw how it worked! It didn't kill me, it transported me 45 years forward, to today!" "You.. you're not dead?" "No. Come see for yourself." She thought for a moment, before taking a step forward. She held out a hand. He reached up, and grabbed it. She felt the warmth of his gloveless hand against hers. She reached out with her other hand, and put it on top of his. She rubbed his hand, in total amazement. "You're not dead! But.." "I know it must be hard, but you have to listen. I need help. I have to get back, to 1996, so none of this horrible future ever happens." She started to cry. She knelt down, and hugged him. "Alright, I'll help you, but I have to ask you something first." "What is it?" "Will you dance with me? Complete the night that you missed before." "Of course." For him, it had just been a few hours, but for Babs, it had been forty-five years. He owed her that much. "Before we start, I have something which belongs to you." she said, opening a drawer. She reached inside, and pulled out a singed glove. "I think this is yours, Buster." She handed it to him. He put it on, and taking the other one out of his pocket he put it on too. "I've waited 45 years to be able to give that back to you. Thank you." He looked puzzled. "I knew you weren't dead, Buster." she said, answering his unasked question. "I nearly went insane waiting, but I knew you would be back. You just took me by surprise before, that's all." He took a step back, and bowed. "M'lady?" "Thank you." she took a step forward, and took his outstretched hand. She pulled him in close. His head came up to her stomach. The pair danced, without music. They circled together, around the room. They danced together for over an hour. Suddenly, Buster stopped. "Oh no! The Warners! I forgot completely about them!" "Who?" "The Warners. Yakko, Wakko, Dot. You remember, don't you?" he asked. "Ah yes. I haven't heard those names in years!" "Well, I bought them here to help me. Although I wish this dance would never end, I have to go get them before they hurt themselves! Or someone else!" "Alright," she sighed, "But why did you bring them anyway? What are they doing?" "They're looking for the plans for Calamity's time machine. I have to rebuild it to get back to 1996." "Oh, of course.. I think the best person to ask about that would be Bugs. He knows everything there is to know around here." "But Plucky told me that he might not still be alive!" "Oh believe me, he is alive. But.." "But what?" Buster asked. "Nothing. It is not important." she replied. She thought it better that he learn it from Bugs, not her. "Well, let's go then!" * * * * * * * * * * * * The five toons stood before the entrance to the tunnel Buster had dug, outside Plucky's house. "Well, thanks for your help, guys." said Buster. "Yeah, sorry we couldn't find that thing you were looking for." replied Yakko. "OK, well, have fun in California!" said Buster. "Yeah, bye!" added Babs. "Hey, sibs, you two go on ahead. I gotta talk to Buster." said Yakko. "OK Yakko. See you guys around!" said Wakko. "Yeah, bye!" added Dot. The two of them jumped into the hole. Yakko turned to face Buster. "Buster, I need to ask you a favour." said Yakko. "Sure, what is it?" "When you get back to '96, come visit us. Give us this note. Thanks." Buster took the note, and read it. Yakko: Don't do it, rabbit isn't dead. Try bargaining, life insurance isn't that important. Yakko. "But, Yakko, Plucky said that you took Plotz hostage after you heard I was dead. If I go back, you won't hear that I'm dead, so you won't do it anyway." "I know, but the three of us had been planning it for a long time, so, just do it, ok?" "OK, sure." "OK, I'll see ya forty-five years ago!" "Yakko, before you go, just tell me this. How do you stay so young?" asked Babs. "Simple. Full body mud packs." replied Yakko, jumping into the hole. * * * * * * * * * * * * The two bunnies arrived at Bugs' house. Babs wondered whether to tell Buster, or to let him find out himself. She decided it would be best if Buster found out from Bugs. She didn't want to be the one to have to tell him. Buster approached the door, and got ready to knock, but Babs stopped him. "Bugs gave me a key, so you don't have to do that." She unlocked the door, and they stepped inside. "Bugs?" shouted Babs. "Buuugs?" shouted Buster. "He must be out back." said Babs. They made their way to the back, and walked outside. A large field stretched out before them. Buster saw Bugs sitting in the middle of the field. Sitting in a wheelchair. He shot a glance at Babs, who didn't return it. They made their way over, and stopped behind Bugs. "Bugs," said Babs softly, "I have someone who wants to see you." Bugs turned the wheelchair around. Buster let out a gasp. Before him, sat Bugs, but he looked different. He was old and frail. He had a long white beard, and wore sunglasses. His hands constantly shook. Then, Bugs took off the sunglasses, and Buster realised why he was wearing them. He was blind. Bugs spoke with a weak voice, "Hello, Babs. Who have you brought?" Babs looked down at Buster. She motioned him forward. Buster stood in silence for a moment, before finding his voice. "Hi, Bugs." Bugs turned, and stared straight at him, with closed eyes. "Buster?" Buster was alarmed. How did Bugs know where he was? "Yeah, Bugs, it's me." "How.. how can it be you? You're..." "Dead. I know. But I am not dead, I never died. The night of the accident, I didn't die, the lightning made the machine transport me here. To this time." Bugs sat in stunned silence for a few moments. This was impossible. Nothing Calamity made ever worked. It couldn't be true. But as he thought about it, he realised that it made perfect sense. It fitted perfectly. He held out his arms, which began to shake rapidly. "Come here, boy." Buster noticed that Bugs had lost his accent, he spoke like everyone else. He took a few steps forward, into the waiting arms of Bugs. Bugs hugged him the best he could, from his wheelchair. "I've missed you, kid." "Same here, Bugs." Rain started to fall. "Come on," said Bugs, "let's go inside." * * * * * * * * * * * * The three of them sat around a fire, drinking coffee. Buster plucked up the courage to ask. "Bugs, what.. happened to you?" "I thought you would ask that. It's a long story. Five years ago, Calamity and I were working in his lab, trying to come up with a plan to get rid of Monty. One of his goons broke into the lab, and tried to steal our plans. We tried to stop him, but he was young and strong, and he just kicked us out of the way. After he got the plans, he went around, trashing the lab. I was lying on a desk, next to a vial of some purple stuff. He had hit me pretty hard, and I couldn't get up. The desk had a shelf above it, with some other chemicals on it. He kicked the desk on his way out, and one of the flasks fell onto the vial. It started to fizz, and just burst all over the place. Some got into my eyes, and that was the last thing I saw. The chemicals must have exploded, because I was blown clear of the building. But Calamity wasn't. I heard the building explode, and it took Calamity with it. I must have landed pretty hard, because I broke my back. I have never walked since. These things are pretty much ballast now." he said, patting his legs. "When we were outside before, how did you know where I was?" asked Buster. "I have a good pair of ears. They're pretty much the only things that still work on this body." "Bugs, you have to help me get back to my own time, so none of this happens!" "Well, I am not much help to you. I can't do much anymore, kiddo." "Yes, but you have information that I need. I need to know where Calamity's notes are, the ones from his Time Machine experiment." "Ahhh.. let me think. That was so long ago. Calamity said he was ashamed of that experiment, and that he never wanted to do it again, so he hid the plans in Wackyland." "Oh no." said Babs. "What's the problem? I'll just go and get them!" said Buster. "Wackyland has really gone bad over the past few years. Even Gogo is afraid to go there anymore." replied Bugs. "I have to get there. I can't live here. I don't care if I have to go through hell itself to get those plans!" "Alright, but at least wait until tomorrow." said Babs. "Alright, but I'm going first thing tomorrow morning," replied Buster. "In the meantime, you two can stay here, if you want to." said Bugs. "Thanks, Bugs." said Buster. * * * * * * * * * * * * The next day, Babs and Bugs accompanied Buster to the bridge to Wackyland. "Well, kiddo, this is as far as we go. We can't help you over there." said Bugs. "Thanks for your help, and goodbye. I'll be back." "Bye, Buster. Good luck!" said Babs. "We'll wait at my house for you. Stay out of trouble, Buster." added Bugs. "OK, I will. Bye!" He walked across the bridge. Upon arriving on the other side, the bridge disappeared. He turned, and waved back at Bugs and Babs. They waved back, turned, and walked off. He turned back to the task at hand. He walked forward. An anvil fell, not two inches from his face. He quickly moved his feet back, and the anvil missed. Then he noticed something. Or rather, he noticed nothing. There was nothing here. Wackyland was gone! All around him, was nothing at all. No buildings, no toons, nothing. He started running, hoping to find something, anything, to give him somewhere to start. After nearly half an hour of running, he saw something on the horizon; a tree. He sprinted up to the tree, and skided to a stop in front of it. He reached out to touch it, but suddenly, it was gone. Vanished. "This isn't right," Buster thought, "What's going on?" Suddenly, he heard a tiny voice behind him. He turned around, and saw a bubble floating at about waist height, with a small creature inside it. "Help! Help!" it squeaked. Buster plucked a hair from his head, and burst the bubble with it. The creature fell to the ground, and grew in size, until it was about half the size of Buster. "Thank you, friend." it said, "I... wait! You, you're different. You don't belong here." "Of course I don't belong here, I am from Acme Acres." "No, that is not it. You are different." Suddenly, the creature morphed into an exact copy of Buster. It spoke with his voice. "You're the reason for this." Buster was shocked. "What the.. I'm the reason for what?" The creature held up it's arms. "THIS! Wackyland is dying, and you are the cause." "What did I do?" The creature morphed into a very young Bugs. It spoke with Bugs' familiar accent. "Ya travelled through time, dat's what!" The creature morphed again, this time into Wile E. Coyote. "Let me explain. You DO know what a paradox is, don't you?" "Umm, sort of." The creature sighed. "A paradox is an apparently contradictory set of circumstances, that by nature, cannot exist. Most are simply mistakes, but others have remained unexplained. Your time travel has caused a paradox, and it is destroying reality. History dictates that you didn't survive the time transfer, and your apparent survival has caused a tangent of the timeline that is destroying both realities. From where I stand, I see two options." "Well, what are they?" asked Buster, not really understanding. "Well, you can either transport back to the exact moment you left, thereby destroying the current two timelines, and creating a third where neither event happens, or I will be forced to kill you. This continuity between the two current timelines should cause them to rejoin, and correct the problem." "Yeah, but then I would be dead, and from where I stand, that is a MAJOR con." "Well, it would seem that the choice has been made. You will travel back to the exact moment that you left, and destroy the current two realities. Hopefully, the third timeline will evolve correctly." "Hopefully?" "Well," said the creature, taking out a calculator, "I predict a thirty seven percent chance that the arrival of you back in your own time will complete the paradox, causing the universe to implode instantly." "Oh, that's all, is it? Great, I thought there would be bad news." The creature changed, into Calamity. "I have the plans you need to reconstruct the time machine." it said. "Hey, how come you can speak? Calamity never could!" "You forget, I am not your friend, just a copy of him. I change forms to more easily access the information that identity has to offer." "Uh huh." said Buster. "Return quickly, do not delay. Every moment you waste brings this universe closer to destruction." "But, I don't know how to build this!" Buster said, looking at the plans. "I don't even understand it!" The creature thought for a few moments. "I will accompany you back to Acme Acres. This identity has the knowledge required to assemble the machine from the wreckage located at your point of arrival." He changed into the Road Runner. "And this identity has the speed necessary to get us there." Buster climbed onto the creature's back. "Hey, we have to stop at Bugs' house first!" The creature thought momentarily. "Alright, given this identity's speed, we shall gain sufficient time to stop off and bring your assosciates with us." * * * * * * * * * * * * Babs and Bugs were sitting on the front porch, when Buster arrived, atop the creature's back. Babs stood up. "Well, if it isn't the Road Runner! I haven't seen you in at least ten years!" "It's not the Road Runner, Babs." He jumped off the creature's back. It morphed back into it's original form. "This is... actually, I forgot to ask your name. What IS your name?" said Buster. "I don't really have a name, I never really gave it much thought. I don't spend much of my time in this form, so most people just call me whatever I change into." "Now, let us continue on our task." It changed back to the Road Runner. Babs explained to Bugs, as well as she could, what had happened. "Well, hold it. There is one thing faster than a Road Runner, and that is my Caddilac with Babs here behind the wheel!" The creature changed back into Wile E. He retrieved his calculator and started pressing buttons. "My calculations show his statement to be correct." Hurrying out to the garage, they all piled into Bugs' Caddy. Buster helped Bugs into the car and put his wheelchair in the trunk. Getting into the car himslef, Buster said, "So, Babs, do you remember how to drive this thing?" For just a moment, Babs' eyes twinkled with a hint of her former greatness. "I use to run errands for Bugs on occasion," she said calmly as she turned the key in the ignition. A hint of smile formed on Babs lips as the old V-8 roared to life, and dropping the car into gear, she hit the gas and they were on their way. As soon as they arrived at the cave, the creature jumped out of the car and changed into Arnold and began to clear away the rocks. While it was doing that, the others got of the car, and Buster helped Bugs back into his wheelchair. By then, the creature had cleared a path into the tunnel and changed back into Calamity. As they made their way inside, the creature was looking at the plans, and when they finally made it to the wreckage, it said, "What a mess. I'll have to recalibrate this thing to acount for.." The creature was cut off as the ground started to shake violently. Then without any warning, the rock Buster was sitting on disappeared. "Hey!" he shouted. "Oh no! Acme Acres is starting to come under the effect of the paradox as well! We have to hurry!" shouted the creature. "You had better speed it up a bit, Calamity." said Babs, as rocks all around them started to disappear. A few moments later, the creature announced, "OK, I'm finished. Step up to the pad, Buster." "OK, I'll be right there." Buster said. He zipped behind one of the few remaining rocks, and changed back into his tuxedo. "Hey, Buster!" shouted Bugs, "When you get back, don't forget to warn me about Monty!" "I will, Bugs, don't worry." said Buster, stepping onto the pad. "OK, here goes nothing..." said the creature. "Bye, Buster." said Babs. "Bye, Babs." There was a flash of light, and Buster was gone. * * * * * * * * * * * * Inside the cavern, Babs consulted a huge, dusty, book. "Ah, here it is." she said. "Cliche 1296. Scientific experiment struck by lightning, causing adverse effects." She slammed the book shut, and threw it away. The machine started to rumble from the power surge. Babs span around quickly, changing into a certain well-known engineer. "Ach, cap'n, I dinnae think she can take this!" she shouted, with a strong Scottish accent. She span again, returning to her normal self. "Hey, Buster!" she said, looking for him. "Let's get out of here! Hey, where are you?" "Over here, Babs!" he shouted. He was standing on the pad. Calamity held up a sign. "Uh-oh." Suddenly, Buster started to glow. There was a blinding flash of light, and he was gone. A single, singed glove floated to the ground. Babs picked it up. "Buster!" "What?" said Buster, with a large grin on his face. "Let's get out of here!" she shouted. The four toons ran out of the cave, just as a rockslide covered the entrance. Buster let out a sigh. "That was close!" he said. "Yeah, too close." agreed Babs. Calamity held up a sign. "My experiment!" "Don't worry about it, Calamity. I don't think anything good would have come from it." Plucky piped up, "Yeah, kid. Easy come, easy go." The toons made their way away from the cave. Plucky said, "Hey, hold on a second, will ya?" He dashed behind a rock, and emerged wearing a tuxedo very similar to Buster's. "Shirley finally said yes, so I might as well look my best!" he said, answering everyone's stares. Buster and Babs continued to the dance. Babs said, "Oh yeah, you dropped this." She held up the glove. "Oh, erm.." Buster stammered. She looked at his hands. "Hey! Where'd you get that glove?" T H E E N D