Rite of Passage - Part 1
By Kieron Wells
darkhelmet47@hotmail.com

Special Thanks to Pepe K.

Chapter I

      The lights glistened off the newly - fallen snow on a cold January
Acme Acres Monday evening. The sounds that filled the air in this large,
open space were those of the cold and shivering with chattering teeth.
Somebody came up with the idea to hold an Acme Acres carnival in January,
and the toons that were obligated to attend were none too happy about it.
      Small white flakes once again began to descend on the intricate setup,
with tents, rides, and food covering the majority of the field that the
Looniversity decided to set this event up on. The school needed some extra
funding, and this was the best idea anybody could come up with.
      " Having fun kids?" Bugs asked as he saw Buster and Babs standing,
covered over in ice, and shivering. Both of them just glanced over at the
Principal who came up with this idea.
      At the furthest end of the grounds stood a purple tent with a large
sign outside that said," Fortune Reading. $5." Surely enough within sat
Shirley the Loon in wait of anybody wanting to know what the future may have
in store for them. She was still awaiting the arrival of her first customer
of the night. The Loon sat in front of a crystal ball, tapping her fingers
against the wooden table she sat behind with impatience.
      The fortune teller's tent was located right next to the food stand,
the same stand where Bugs had made the dubious selection of Hamton for the
manager. Not that much food actually made it to sale, as Hamton seemed to be
eating most of it before it reached that point. There weren't many customers
on this frigid night, so the food wasn't missed. The sky was growing darker,
and the crowd more scarce, and the toons in charge of running this ill -
conceived fund raiser were becoming very frustrated.
      " Like, this is fun..." Shirley commented insincerely to herself. She
had chosen this booth to be in charge of, and if anybody was actually going
to come, she would be the best for this job. After another ten minutes in
which she nearly fell asleep at her post, Shirley was suddenly awaked by the
sound of wind gusts as the front of the tent was opened. Shirley looked up
to see Fifi Lefume, clad in a long, purple coat, walk in and sit down across
from her.
      " Bonjour, mon ami," Fifi said as she walked in. " How are vous?"
      " Like, this whole night has been a total bummer. I have totally had
zip people in here," Shirley told her. " How 'bout you?"
      " Com ci com ca," Fifi told her. " Hamtone has been, how you say,
workeeing all night," Fifi said. " I vant to know if he is ever going to ask
me out again." Fifi and Hamton had been on a few casual dates lately, but
nothing more.
      Shirley extended her arms, cracked her knuckles, and then places her
palms on the crystal ball. Her eyes focused in on the image in the sphere
before her. The first sight to appear was that of Hamton. It was the
fourteen year - old pig standing behind the food booth, near the cotton
candy machine. He pulled out a handful of purple fluff and began to shape it
in the image of Fifi Lefume. He then sighed and appeared to be lost in
thought, presumably about Fifi, although Shirley couldn't tell.
      The next few images were all those of Hamton, with him being nervous
as Fifi approached, of him sighing at her picture, and visions along those
lines. It was times like this Shirley the Loon wished she was able to read
the minds of others, just so she would know exactly what was stopping him
from going forward with the relationship.
      After a few more shots of Hamton, the crystal ball suddenly became
clouded with static. Shirley hit the crystal along the side for a couple of
seconds, and all of the sudden the image changed over to Elmyra running on a
beach with... Foghorn Leghorn? Something was clearly wrong. Shirley tried
moving around the crystal, but it didn't help. She saw Montana Max giving
money to the poor, and Elmyra receiving her PhD in neurosurgery. Shirley
tried moving her head around to see if the picture would improve, but it
didn't work. After a few more ludicrous images, the ball shone with the
image of a window containing the words, "This program has performed an
illegal operation and will be shut down. Please contact your mental
administrator for assistance."  Shirley tried to reconnect a few times, but
the psychic images never reappeared again.
      Fifi stood up and left without saying anything. Meanwhile, Shirley
just sat behind the now faded crystal ball with a stunned and confused look
on her face. Shirley wished that it was just her crystal ball that had
suddenly gone out, but when Shirley attempted to fire a shot of electricity
in the air, and nothing happened. Not knowing what to do, she just sat down
and leaned her face against her hand, and stared forward.

Chapter II

      " Like, Shirley wake up!" a voice from downstairs called to the Loon
up in her room. Shirley shot up out of bed, her long, yellow hair frizzy and
standing on end. She rubbed her eyes and slowly walked downstairs, the
thoughts of last night still fresh in her mind. She walked down stairs and
saw that her parents had entered meditation since they called her down. Her
mother had hair just like Shirley, except light blue in color, and her
father had no hair at all, just feathers covering his middle - aged head.
      " Like, the one appearance these two get to make on this show and they
are totally meditating during it," Shirley commented as the two older loons
hovered around the table.
       Shirley tended to start her day in much the same way, but today she
would just assume not try it. Instead she just walked to the fridge and pulled
out a glass of vegetable juice, and sat down for a second. As she sat down
and drank it, Shirley considered trying to activate some kind of power, but
then changed her mind.
      The Loon's arrival at Acme Looniversity that morning was greeted with
sneezes all around, from Babs, Buster, Plucky, Hamton and Fifi. The cold
weather and standing outside of the night before had not done much for the
health of the students. Sneezer had been kept out of last night's
festivities. Directly across from the clearly stressed Shirley, donned in a
white sweater instead of the usual sleeveless shirt, was Plucky Duck.
Shirley noticed that her ex - boyfriend pushing back the effects of the
cold, knowing he thought it would impress her.
      The two had broken up in a way that probably could have been expected.
Shirley got fed up with Plucky's egotism and immaturity.
      The ill toons shivered throughout the morning visit with each other,
each one with the exception of Shirley occasionally sneezing and saying
little. Finally, the bell rang summoning each toon to head for the first
class of the day. As the group dispersed, Fifi stopped Shirley for a moment.
      " So how are vo...vo.. ACHOO!" Fifi sneezed loudly into a tissue, and
then continued seeking. "Vous?"
      " Totally bummed out." Shirley replied. Fifi was about to try to speak
some comforting words, but she once again began to sneeze. The pressure
built up for a moment, and when released, the sneeze was enough to send
Shirley down the hall.
      Fifi started on her way to class, and was stopped in the crowded
hallways by Babs, who despite the stuffed up head and the persistent
coughing, was able to display concern with her face.
      " She wasn't sick, so why does she look so down?" Babs asked.
      " I'll tell you later."

      The morning passed, but nothing seemed drastically different when Gogo
emerged from a clock to announce that it was noon. As usual, the cafeteria
filled up within seconds. The bright lights covered over the entire student
body, and despite the fact that many of them were sick from the freezing
cold of the night before, the spirits seemed mostly high. This did not
include Shirley, who's face remained mostly pointed towards the ground, and
Fifi, who sat next to her with a look of concern as she saw the look on the
Loon's face.
      " She looks about as happy as Buster did when he killed that joke,"
Plucky whispered to Babs. " Do you think this is all because she misses me?"
      " Yeah, that must be it," Babs replied sarcastically. Plucky
conveniently ignored the sarcasm in the pink rabbit's voice and smiled
smugly.
      Shirley sat between friends, looking at the table and nursing her tofu
soup. Her finger spun around in the cold, green mush, knowing that this
would be much better hot. Her usual way of heating up lunch was to increase
the temperature with some electricity from her hands, but she was still too
nervous to try any of her powers. The yellow - haired loon took a look up
for a second and noticed that Babs and Fifi were looking at her, while
Plucky was admiring himself in a hand - mirror. Shirley picked up the metal
spoon next to her, forced it down into the tofu soup, and took a bite back
in an attempt to make the two stop staring.  The food was cold and
disgusting, and didn't make the two look away for a second.
      Fifi decided right then that she needed to talk about this with
Shirley again.
      " Pardon moi, I must go... freshen up," Fifi stated as she stood up.
She then grabbed Shirley's right arm and pulled her away from the table, out
of the cafeteria and into the hall.
      " Why would she freshen up to eat food that couldn't be less fresh?"
Babs asked herself.
      " Why do girls always have to go to the ladies room together?" Plucky
asked.

      The hall was completely empty when the two female toons reached it.
Shirley did not seem like she wanted to talk about this, but when she tried
to walk away, Fifi stepped out in front of her.
      " Like, I don't want to talk right now," Shirley said in a quiet
voice. The look on the Loon's face gave away how this was really affecting
her.
      " Mon ami, why don't vous just try one of your powers? I'm sure they
are working by now," Fifi told her. Shirley wanted to believe that. Shirley
had never really expressed what the abilities she possessed really meant to
her. She couldn't now, considering how scared she was that they could be
gone. Finally, more for the sake of her friend than herself, Shirley
summoned just enough courage to attempt to use a power.
      " Okay. Here it totally goes."
       Shirley said. She reached out her index finger on her right hand,
took a long, deep breath and prepared herself to fire. Finally, her eyes
squint, then flash blue, and a long, narrow shot of electricity is released.
It goes down the hall and makes a smoking hole in the wall.  Both Shirley
and Fifi breathed sighs of relief. Shirley smiled apologetically at Fifi,
sorry for making a big deal out of this for the last day.
      Just as the two relaxed for a second, Shirley could feel something
surging through her arm. Without warning, another shot of electricity came
out. This one bolted right into the floor. A few more came out. Shirley had
no control over this. The bolts just kept coming and coming, making large
holes all over the walls, ceiling and floor. Shirley yelled and cried for
help as the bolts would not cease to fire out of her hands. Fifi ran out of
the hall for a second, and then returned with a bucked of water. Without
thinking, the skunk threw the ice cold water over the out - of - control
loon. The instant the water hit her, the electricity output increased ten
times over. The room almost filled with electricity. Fifi hit the deck and
waited for it to die down, which took a couple of minutes. Finally, when the
bursts returned to normal size, Fifi stood back up and aimed the end of her
tail at Shirley.
      " Ah am sorry to have to do theez," Fifi said. She then sprayed a
green cloud of wretched smell over by Shirley. The Loon's eyes crossed for a
second, and she then passed out. While on the floor, her unconscious body
released a few more bolts, but that only lasted for a second. Fifi walked
over by Shirley, but then looked behind her for a second. Standing there
were hundreds of Acme Looniversity students who, unbeknownst to Fifi or
Shirley, had arrived a few minutes ago and watched everything.
      " And vat are vous lookeeng at?" Fifi asked them. Most of them walked
away, but Babs and Buster came over to see how Shirley was.
      The three hovered over their unconscious friend. She was completely
still, her hair singed and her limbs a little twisted. The smell that filled
the air now was very unpleasant.  The three all knelt down and proceeded to
lift their fallen friend. The carried her through the halls, outside, and
then into a building with a large red sign reading," School Nurse" on it.
They brought her in and dropped her down on a couch inside.

Chapter III

      Slowly, Shirley opened her eyes to see three of her best friends
standing over her. The three toons that waited for her seemed to become very
relieved when she woke up. Shirley took a few deep breaths, then sat up and
looked at her surroundings. Behind Buster, Babs, and Fifi stood Elmyra and
Granny in nurse's uniforms. Shirley's head was pounding now, her teeth
chattering and her heart was racing. She could also smell the singed hair on
the top of her head
      " Like... what just happened... my head is totally tripped our right
now..." Shirley forced out in a quiet voice.
      " You don't remember anything like frying a hallway or passing out?"
Babs asked. Shirley nodded no, and then laid back down. Fifi explained to
Shirley what had just happened, but the Loon could not remember a single
second of it.
      " I got this really freaky feeling, like I just put my hand in a light
socket or some junk, and then I was here," Shirley told them. The other
toons exchanged glances, and then turned back to her. Shirley suddenly felt
very uncomfortable, seeing the way the others were looking at her and then
at each other. She tried to get up again, but fell backwards immediately.
Her head was in such throbbing pain that she really didn't want to stand,
but she felt like she had to just to show them all that she was alright.
      Granny took the first course of action all medical professionals know.
"Take this," Granny instructed, handing Shirley an aspirin and a small cup
of water. Without even looking at it, Shirley swallowed the small, white
pill first, and then the water afterwards. Nothing happened. Granny took
another course of action that all medical professionals knew of, especially
those working at schools; calling family. Granny walked over to the phone
and summoned Shirley's parents to come and get her. As she awaited her ride,
Shirley forced herself to fall asleep for a while.
      Upon waking up, Shirley discovered that she had been returned to her
home. Her room, filled with crystal balls, dream catchers, a sensory
deprivation chamber, aroma therapy candles and many other similar charms
that helped define who she was. She checked the time; it was only five
thirty. She had asleep for one hour, when it had seemed like eight. Her
headache finally seemed to be fading, but that was the only thing going
right. Shirley could barely sleep that night; her mind was racing, trying to
figure out what was going on, but no answers came to her. Outside the
window, she could see a faint blue light in the sky that seemed to be
heading south.

Chapter IV

      " Peanuts? Blanket? Pillow?" a woman with a squeaky voice inquired.
The white bird next to her nodded no. The teenage male bird always found it
strange that these flight attendants constantly bothered him on every flight
he took, especially since he wasn't flying on a plane; he was flying under
his own power with his wings, and these attendants would fly up next to him
every so often. He swooped down a few times through the brisk, arctic air,
as a way of waking him up in the morning that no cup of coffee ever could.
He took a dive down towards the water, and skimmed his face across it,
letting the near - freezing water wake him up.
      " It's not home, but it's very close," he thought to himself as he
pulled in for a landing. As he landed, his wings seemed to narrow and shape
into hands. He stood in the snow and stared upwards on this Wednesday
morning.  The Antarctic sky was just barely becoming light, He expected just
a normal sunrise, with the sky having a striking red tint over it as the sun
came up, but to his surprise, he was met with the sight of a slight blue
haze over the sky. He quickly stood up and rubbed his eyes for a moment to
make sure he wasn't hallucinating.
      " Either some strange company has decided an Antarctic factory is a
good idea," he said to himself," or there is something wrong here."
      Out of curiosity, he once again took off into the cold air of this
January morning. His ascent was quick and direct; he shot straight up and
could tell he was getting close to the blue haze. When he was a few hundred
feet away from reaching this light mist that had covered the sky that
morning, there was a sudden chill in the air that was greater than normal.
This was immediately followed by a major gust of wind. The white toon bird
put up little resistance to this sudden wind. The gust threw him off track
immediately, and sent him several hundred feet away from where he was. It
also spun him around to the point where he had no idea what direction he was
going in, and yet he remained in flight. With a slight smile on his face, he
continued a flight away from the cold and towards an unidentified location.

      Shirley stepped out of bed, yawned, and spent only a few seconds on
her hair and appearance before heading out the door. She was still a mess,
but that was the last of her concerns at the moment.  She probably could
have stayed home sick, or at least asked for a ride, but instead the Loon
walked by herself to Acme Looniversity. This would provide time to think
before answering the question," how do you feel?" over and over at school.
      The walk over the fresh snow was not that unpleasant for Shirley, and
she would have noticed how it enhanced the scenery if she had looked up more
than once. In her mind, she replayed what she remembered of the last two
days multiple times. She was still thinking about this when she started to
walk up the steps and into Acme Looniversity. Just as she reached for the
handle, a snowball collided with the side of her head.
      " Like, ouch! Who threw that?" she asked. Just as she said that, she
noticed Plucky standing about twenty feet away. As soon as she looked at
him, he walked over.
      " Sorry, I didn't know how else to get your attention," Plucky said.
He then stepped a little closer to her so he was just about touching. " You
know Shirl, you didn't have to put on some big display yesterday to show
that you still liked me. You could have just said so."
      " What are you talking about?" Shirley asked.
      " Come on, Shirl, that's what's been bugging you, right? You want me
back and don't know how to tell me. It's okay, Shirl. After all, if you
didn't still want me, why were all those sparks flying between us yesterday?
If you admit it, I might even let you go out with me again. "
      Shirley sighed and proceeded to push Plucky over the side of the
stairs and into a snow bank head first, and then walk inside the school,
leaving Plucky struggling to get free.
      As the Loon walked in the school, the place suddenly became dead
silent. Everybody seemed very surprised to see her actually there after
nearly tearing the place down the day before.
      " Like, don't all you people have lives or some junk?" Shirley asked
all those looking at her. " This place is totally starting to freak me out."
      Shirley walked over to once again meet her friends, as she did every
single morning.
      " You okay, Shirl?" Babs asked.
      " YES!" she shouted. After that, not a single person asked her how she
was. Shirley took a few steps away from the group, grabbed Fifi's arm, and
pulled her with her as she walked away from everybody else.
      " That was a totally bogus idea you had about trying to make my powers
work again," Shirley said. " How could you let all of them see that?"
      " Iz not ma fault."
      " I know... I'm totally sorry, but it's still bugging me."

      By the middle of the day, Shirley seemed to have calmed down to a
certain extent about what was going on. After twenty - four hours, she
returned to the same spot, with much different results.
      " Like, I am totally sure that electricity stuff came from some bad
tofu or some junk," Shirley stated.
      " What a shocking development," commented Babs.
      " That'll teach you to buy tofu out of a can," Plucky said.

      It was starting to seem like forever since the toon bird took off from
Antarctica. He had no idea where he was going, what he was going to do when
he got there, or how long he had been gone. He was also starting to realize
that maybe this trek wasn't the best idea he ever had. With tired arms and
sweat starting to drip down his face, the tern took a look down for a
second, and quickly noticed a red roof below him. He knew he had to land,
but just in case, he extended his right hand, and a small thermometer - like
gauge appeared on his palm, with the words," karma meter" written in red
directly above it. The liquid inside it started to glow red and release
steam, which was a bad sign. Never the less, he turned his arms towards the
ground and prepared for a landing.

      Inside the Acme Loo cafeteria, Elmyra walked up behind Shirley dressed
as a nurse again.
      " The doctor wants to check up on the cutie wutie ducky wuckie,"
Elmyra told Shirley. The Loon stood up and walked out of the eating area
with a few of her friends close by, all of them making sure not to get too
close to Elmyra.

      " I would tell you I think you're okay," Granny said," but I don't
know what you're normally supposed to be like."
      The Loon sat up and saw her friends, and one toon she did not
recognize. Standing at the very back of the room, barely inside the door,
was a tall, white toon bird with deep blue eyes, wearing dark blue clothes
and having a smirk on his face.
      " Like is this my concussion making me see things..." Shirley said,
"or is there a totally freaky guy standing at the back of the room?"
      " That would be me, not you," the strange guy in question said to
Plucky. Plucky frowned.
      He walked over with the intent of introducing himself, but as soon as
he arrived next to Shirley, the Loon's aura appeared next to her, glowing a
dark red color and frowning. The facial expression matched hers exactly. The
bird smirked, raised his right arm in the air, lifted his index finger, and
suddenly, a light blue aura was standing next to him, smirking just like the
toon version. Out of nowhere, "dueling banjos" played for a second as the
two auras stared at each other, but only lasted a few seconds.
      " Well, now that our auras are acquainted," he said," maybe we can be
introduced..."

Chapter V

      " Marshall Snow? That's kind of an odd name," Babs commented.
      " And of course, the rest of you just have regular, everyday names,"
Marshall commented sarcastically.
      " So you've really never heard of Tiny Toon Adventures?" Buster asked,
shocked that there was a toon out there unfamiliar with the show.
      " I live in the arctic," Marshall replied. " Television reception
isn't the greatest there."
      Marshall leaned up against the wall, awaiting more questions. Only one
other came.
      " So why are you here?" Buster asked.
      " Honestly," Marshall said," I wish I could tell you."
      Marshall, an arctic tern, clearly had his eyes focused on Shirley.
Shirley glared back at him with anger showing in her eyes. She did not even
blink.
      " Did I come at a bad time?"

      Shirley kicked down the door of the infirmary and stormed out with
Buster and Babs following along right next to her. Shirley was incredibly
angry at this moment.
      " Do you think you'd like it if some strange guy showed up and totally
started staring at you?" Shirley asked as she quickly walked off.
      " Well, it would be a nice change of pace..." Babs answered, glancing
over at Buster.
      Back at the door, Marshall watched as she walked away. He still wore
the same odd smirk he had since his arrival. Plucky and Hamton were giving
him strange looks, but Marshall did not seem all that concerned with that.
As soon as Shirley was out of sight, Marshall started to glance around the
schoolyard. He noticed Elmyra chasing after Furrball, Gogo smashing himself
over the head with a hammer, Calamity chasing Beeper, Sneezer blasting a
tree down with a single sneeze, and several more sights like that. " This is
going to be interesting..."

      Shirley lit up a ring of aromatherapy candles and quickly inhaled. The
scents were able to relax her a little, but she was still tense. Seeing that
all her tension wasn't going to go away completely, she slipped into her
silver - colored sensory deprivation chamber, shut the lid, and slipped
back, noticing that the scents were drifting in. She shut her eyes, hoping
that maybe she could now get a little rest that didn't involve collapsing on
the floors at school.
      Like every time she entered the chamber, the visions started with a
haze. This time, there was a distinct blue tint over the fog she saw.
Through the haze, the Loon noticed something that looked a monk's robe
walking on its own. It spun around for a few seconds, turned towards her,
and suddenly slipped away to reveal Marshall's face, looking worried. It
quickly faded out and revealed a blue door. The door swung opened and
revealed a mind in a sphere. Just as that appeared, Shirley returned to the
conscious world, feeling oddly refreshed. Without realizing it, she had
spent an hour inside.

      Two feet above the red - carpeted floor inside the Acme Inn Hotel in
his room on the 47th floor, Marshall floated with his eyes closed and his
legs crossed, meditating. He hummed something incoherently as he did this.
This process was interrupted by a knock at the door, causing him to fall out
of his trance and land flat on his face. Annoyed, he walked over and opened
the door. Standing before him was a hotel attendant with a phone in his
hand.
      " Call for you," he said.
      " Why wouldn't the call go to that phone over there?" Marshall asked,
pointing to the phone in the room with him.
      " Yeah... um... those phones don't work... the phone guys didn't want
to run a wire all the way up to the 47th floor, so those fake phones were
put here instead. Lazy jerks...  anyway, inside, you'll find a complimentary
mint. At least, they used to be complimentary. Cheap morons..."
      Marshall took the phone and slammed the door shut before the employee
of the hotel could speak again.
      " Hello?"
      " Hey Marshall, how are 'ya?"
      " Reed, I should have known you'd call me here."
      " Yeah, that crystal ball finally got fixed. Anyway, what kind of
strange place have you gone to now? Acme Acres? I've never even hearda the
place. You shoulda said you were going. Anyway, me n' Jol'll be up there
soon. See ya then, and let's hope this works out better than your last
coupla trips."
      Marshall laughed a little, as he knew Reed called because he was well
aware Marshall would be meditating at that moment. Instead of returning to
this, Marshall confirmed that the door was locked, and he sat back and
watched a terrible science fiction movie from the 1950's on television.
About half an hour into," Zarfergenon, defender from a dimension beyond
Mars", Marshall began to drift off. His eyes closed slowly, opened again,
and continued this for a few minutes until he was finally out completely.
      The next thing Marshall saw was a dark blue background with two
spheres in front of it, one pink and one blue, both glowing. This was
clearly a dream. The two spheres both fired what looked like electricity.
There was a blur over the haze, and it was difficult for Marshall to tell
exactly what he was seeing. It seemed the two points of light drew closer
together, pushed apart, drew together, and then went halfway apart, and then
he woke up. A knock on the door took him out of his shallow sleep. The
knocking pushed the door against his head. Somehow in his sleep, Marshall
had moved from the bed to leaning up against the door.

      "Excuse me young lady, but would you mind helping an old man crossing
the street?" a short character asked of Shirley as the Loon walked towards
Acme Loo. " I would ask a policeman, but I don't see any around. Normally,
officers, sheriffs, deputies... and marshals are there to help you, but
sometimes you never know..."
      Shirley stopped and took a good look at the person asking her help.
His voice seemed so raspy that it was almost like he was faking it. He was
very short; at least six inches lower than her. He had some gray hairs
sliding in front of his face, and his grin was practically toothless. He was
also dressed in an unusual brown coat that resembled a cloak.
      " Sure..." Shirley answered nervously. He took the old man by the arm
and took him over a crosswalk, not noticing that the light was red. It was
obvious that the old man could walk perfectly fine on his own, but Shirley
didn't stop helping him. Neither toon seemed to care that cars were coming
to a screeching halt on either side of them, trying not to run them over. As
soon as the two had crossed, the old man flashed her a toothless smile for a
second and waved farewell, but Shirley didn't even answer. She was getting
the strangest feeling from him, and she quickly turned around and walked
away.

      " Don't worry Shirley, there are lots of creepy old guys in Acme
Acres, and they're harmless," Babs assured her. " Just look at Professor
Fudd."
      " Between the scary old men and the scary young man, this is getting
weird to the max."
      " Speaking of which..." Babs whispered, pointing with her thumb to the
door just as Marshall walked in.
      " Greetings toonish creatures," he said. Shirley's frown grew the
second he spoke. " Boy, you're a happy looking toon. You know, for a cartoon
star you look pretty miserable." Shirley didn't answer his comments on her
mood; she turned her back to him and tried to once again speak to her
friends. Just as the Loon turned around to speak with Babs, Elmur Fudd
approached the group of toons with an angry facial expression and holding a
test paper with hundreds of red pen marks covering it.
      " Uh oh, here comes another lecture on how bad I do on that guy's
tests," Babs said, seeing her approaching teacher.
      " Care to explain this, Babs?" Elmur asked. Babs chucked as she saw
the caricatures she drew of him on the test, as well as answers that
included "some guy" "you know the one" and
"wouldn't you like to know." Babs just smiled and hoped that Elmur would go
away without another scolding about her poor tests. Just as Professor Fudd
prepared to tell her how bad she did, the Arctic Tern from the back row
stepped forward and raised a hand. His fingers squirmed for a second, and
Elmur's eyes became glazed over and flashed several different colors.
      " Repeat after me," Marshall said in a low, soothing voice. " You're
just here to commend Babs for a test well done."
      " I just wanted to congratulate you on a test well done," Elmur said
to the pink rabbit.
      " Good. Now, bark like a dog and walk away." Elmur started barking and
then walked off. Marshall's customary simper grew more than usual, but faded
as he noticed Shirley's admonishing expression. " Oh relax. He'll be fine in
a few minutes. I just hypnotized him." Shirley still looked very displeased
with him, and she took off. Babs and Shirley followed, but Babs whispered
back a "thanks" to Marshall.
      " This would be so much easier if she was the one I was here to
see..."
      He knew she wasn't going to talk to him right now, and he couldn't
really blame her. He decided to give it some time, and walked out the door.
Sitting at the end of the stairs was a short old man who shot Marshall a
toothless grin. Marshall raised one eyebrow and walked down to the end of
the steps outside of Acme Loo.
      " Hey boy. Ice with the Hollywood mentals? No?" the aging male asked.
Marshall looked confused. " Don't get what I'm saying? Crazy as a loon..."
the strange man with few teeth then stood up and walked off, leaving a
perplexed Marshall to try and figure out what had just happened.

Chapter VI

      " Strange pattern... still smells a little... seen a million
electrified walls like it..." Marshall commented to himself as he checked
over the hallway Shirley had inadvertently damaged days earlier. He was
squinting and looking in every single hole in the wall when he felt a tap on
his shoulder. The Tern turned around to see a gray rabbit behind him.
      " Hey, what's up Doc?" Marshall asked Bugs.
      " Kid, that's my line. Why aren't you in class?"
      " Why aren't you?"
      Bugs frowned. Marshall smirked.
      " Care to talk about whatever it is you're doing in my office?"
      Marshall followed Bugs into his office, looking into every classroom
as he went along the halls. Finally, the two ended up in the Principal's
office. A clearly irritated Bugs stared across at this toon he had found in
the halls, searching the damage to the walls.
      " You do know students are supposed to be in class now," Bugs told
him.
      " Good for them. Too bad I'm not a student," Marshall said.
      " If you're not a student, why are you here?"
      " Picture the X - files with a stranger plot."
      Bugs just raised an eyebrow at the last comment.
      " Look kid, I don't know what's with you, but you can't just show up
in the school and start looking around. You could have at least picked up a
guest pass."
      Marshall glanced across the desk and noticed a blank one lying out in
the open. He reached his feathered hand across to take it, but Bugs snatched
it away and placed it in a drawer.
      " Your filing cabinet is floating away," he pointed out. Bugs looked
behind him and noticed that his files were now hovering above the ground and
heading for the door. The principal rabbit ran up behind it and tackled the
cabinet, scattering papers all over the floor. After taking the pass,
Marshall walked over and helped Bugs try to put everything back in order.
The student files all contained pictures, and the one that had landed next
to him was a familiar picture. Shirley's file had scattered right next to
where he was standing, and he now had a name to put with the face. He took a
brief look over her file, and then walked off, leaving Bugs to put the
papers back in order.

      On the second floor, Daffy Duck's class sat ready to be dismissed with
only seconds left to go before the bell. Shirley, sitting in the front row
of this class, could easily see out the window into the hall. Surely enough,
she caught a glimpse of Marshall as he headed out and frowned for a moment.
The bell then rang and thirty students darted out the door, leaving the
still sitting Shirley coughing on a cloud of dust.

      " Shirl, maybe it's time we had a little talk," Babs said as the toons
sat around for lunch. " You haven't exactly seemed like yourself lately.
You've been more like... Mike Tyson."
      " Like, having freaky guys follow you around and destroying hallways
is starting to bother me. That mondo creepy guy was in the halls again this
morning."
      " Maybe he likes you," Babs joked. Shirley did not look amused.
      " Mon ami, it iz not az bad az you ahre mahking it out to be," Fifi
said. " After all, it is not like he has shown up at your house or
something."

      " Good afternoon, Mrs. Loon, I'm Officer Snow," Marshall said at
Shirley's front door with a police officer's outfit on. " I need to ask you
a few routine questions about what happened with your daughter at the school
a few days back."
      Shirley's mom took a long look at Marshall before reluctantly letting
him in.
      " Coffee?" Mrs. Loon asked.
      " No thanks. Got any tofu?"
      Shirley's mother got up for a second, and returned with a tofu
sandwich. Marshall started eating, but stopped chewing after a few seconds
with small crumbs leaking out of the side of his mouth, noticing the look he
was getting from the Loon's mother. " What?" he asked in a muffled voice.
      " I'm afraid you'll have to leave." Before he knew it, Marshall had
been tossed out the door, landing face first on the front lawn. After
standing up for a second and dusting himself off, he walked away from the
house, hurt and confused.

      Sitting in class that afternoon, Shirley was in the middle of class
writing a test. Her train of thought was suddenly interrupted by the sound
of what seemed to be her mother's voice. In a faint tone, she could hear the
voice tell her to avoid the arctic toon who had just come to her home.
Shirley shook he head for a moment to get the sound out, and out of the
corner of her eye noticed Marshall at the back of the room. Even though it
was the middle of a test with nearly thirty other toons in the room, Shirley
stood up and walked over to him. She then pinned him to the back wall with
her right arm and screamed in his ear.
      " WHAT DO YOU WANT!?!"
      " I'd love to tell you. But, can we go somewhere more private before
we discuss this?"


Part II coming soon...