Sincerely Yours, Oliver. By Zucccini@aol.com This was one of those days for Fifi LaFume. It couldn't get any worse. That day, Hamton had given her a note in gym class that said he wasn't allowed to go out with her any more. His parents set up a new rule about dating your own species, which meant he and Fifi were through. Fifi always thought Hammy was just a little too much of a momma's-boy, but she respected his decision (if you can call running into the bathroom and crying on a total stranger's arm while telling her how rotten a guy is "respect"...). Not only that, but her mentor Monsier Pepe LePew had told Fifi, his best student, that she was slacking off and not putting her best effort into her work. She wasn't sure what was wrong with herself. It had started out as a pretty good week, but it just kept going downhill, be it boy problems, school problems, or even health problems. Fifi had strep throat earlier that week, and her throat was still sore. She spoke to Shirley on that terrible Thursday afternoon about her grief. "Fifi, I totally follow you here," Shirley stated as she hovered over Fifi's head. Fifi was clutching her knees and leaning up against a tree. "I do not know what is wrong wiz me. I vas doing shust fine last week, and les week before, but for some reason, I have been in ze sky," complained Fifi. "You mean your head is in the clouds?" asked Plucky, as he walked up to his floating girlfriend. Fifi nodded and Plucky rolled his eyes. "You've been hanging out with loon girl here too long," Shirley gave Plucky a cold look, and he slowly backed away. "Fifi," continued the loon," I'm connecting here, and I think it has to do with your relationship with the opposite sex, dig?" "Relationship? What relationship?" asked Plucky. Another cold look was shot at him. "Have you had any recent convo's with a guy? You know, like, talk to a soul mate?" "Vell, yesterday morning I had six cups de coffee and les bag de M&M's. I ended up having ze intemite coversation with mon juice blender." "No, no! I'm totally talking about a spiritual connection with a potential dreamboat on a less 'intemite' level, or some junk." Fifi looked puzzled. Plucky again rolled his eyes. "She means some guy on the internet! Sheesh!" Fifi thought a moment, but she couldn't come up with anybody but some drooling fan boys. "Did you know zere was a flub on mon face in zat episode 'Les Amazing Three'?" Shirley looked down at Plucky as he slapped his forehead. "What does that have to do with anything?" "I do not know, but some bizzare person named Zuccini told me zat" "Okay, I'm outta here!" Plucky shouted as he stood up. "This 'convo' is going nowhere. I'm gonna go munch some burgers with Ham-bone," As Plucky walked off, Fifi remembered Hamton and began to sob. She got up, brushed aside some tears, grabbed her school books and walked home, leaving Shirley to hover and wonder. Fifi knew she'd left Shirley and Plucky a little clueless. She'd meant to do that. The truth was, Fifi didn't feel like living. It's not just these new problems, but the fact that she has no parents, no love interest, no real hobbies but looking for a love interest, and almost no goal for after high school just doesn't seem like much to look forward to for the next day and the next. There were things she wanted to be, like CEO of Time Warner, but she didn't want others to laugh at her, so she bottled up her feelings and wrote them down whenever she returned home. " Dear Oliver, It is me, you're beloved pen pal. I'm afraid this may be my last letter to you.-" Fifi sniffed a little, than continued. "-for I am very dissapointed with my life. I have few friends, no family, and no future. And unless some miracle happens-" A teardrop splashed onto her paper. "I may not make it tomarrow. I have enjoyed being your pen pal, ever since I moved to America, because you have always been there for me. My only regret is that I won't be there for you any longer. -sincerely yours forever, Fifi LaFume." The next day, Fifi went to school and had yet another horrible day. Montana Max had mocked her for being lame enough to actually have gotten dumped by Hamton. Word got around that Hammy was seeing some girl in Florida, but that seemed sort of stupid to most people. At lunch, Shirley tried to make conversation with her, but it wasn't going very far, that is, until Babs mentioned something about long distance relationships. "... so anyway, these two geeks named Nefaria and HKUri-- something like that-- were bothering me about how attractive I am and stuff when it occured to me, these people must be total losers! So I signed off the internet and called Harriet," "These fanboys don't even know what we look like! I'm totally shocked whenever I, like, sign on, ya know? My mailbox is just so crammed!" gagged Shirley, who was stuffing tofu into her mounth. "So, Feef, what happens to you? You must get tons of letters!" asked Babs as she munched on her carrot chips. "Vell, actually, I do not get on zis, how you say, cyber city too much. I have a pen pal I write to," she replied, sadly. "Fifi! Like, why didn't you tell me about this snail mail male?" Shirley replied, excitedly. "It is a 'guy', right?" "As vou would say, totally. However, he is a geek and certainly not ze potential love interest," "Have you ever seen him before?" inquisited Babs. "No,"admitted Fifi," but his name is 'Oliver'. 'Ow many skunk hunks do vou know of zat are named 'Oliver'?" "Point taken," After school, instead of going to the mall with the gang, Fifi walked home, alone, with a big bottle in her back pack. Inside her car, she pulled out the bottle and revealed what was inside-- white out. You guessed it, Fifi was going to erase her existence. As she lifted the bottle up to her mouth, she saw a picture of her friends at a picnic from last summer. She was currled around Hamton, who was eating a watermellon the size of his head, Babs and Buster were holding hands, and Shirley was hovering over Plucky. Fifi whiped away a tear and turned the photo so it was faced down. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. But just as she was about to drink... "STOP RIGHT THERE!" Fifi was so surprised she dropped the bottle and ink spilled all over the appolstry. Than she turned to the intruder. "Who do you zink you are? And vhat are you doing in mon home?" she asked. "It appears that I'm saving your life, sweetheart," said the stranger. "My name's Oliver." Fifi gasped. Her pen pal's name was Oliver! Was this him? "Oliver, why are vou here?" she asked. "I thought I already answered that one. I'm saving you from death!" After seven years of writing to Oliver, she finally met him, and he wasn't anything Fifi thought he would be. For one thing, he wasn't even a skunk. He was a blonde Californian otter. His hair wasn't like most male toons' hair, it was messed up and a lighter blonde than his fur. His left ear was pierced, which Fifi had _never_ seen before on a toon, and his eyes were soft blue. He wore an aloha shirt, which made him kind of look goofy, yet handsome at the same time. It was unbuttoned so that his chest and stomach were showing. He wore a pair of swimming trunks that were red, and he was holding a skateboard in his right arm. "Vou are definately from California," she thought aloud. "What was that?" "Zat is, uh, you look much different zen I had imagined. For one, I zought you were a skunk, too," "Yeah? Well, I always figured you were a poodle or something," he snickered. Fifi looked a little offended, but than her eyes focused on his earing. He noticed this and said something. "I'm not a freak, I just have this, thing, about my earing. It's sorta symbolic of a person I knew long ago. Believe me, it's the only thing pierced," Fifi smiled and Oliver smiled back. Later, the two went out for some ice cream and to discuss stuff about each other they'd never shared with anybody else. They were, after all, best friends. You see, when Fifi and Oliver first started writing to each other, they were about seven, maybe eight years old-- two years before Fifi moved to America. They weren't real close, it was all part of an international school thing where students try to connect and get to know other students from around the world. They weren't told what the other's species was or what they looked like, just what their names were and how old they were. But when Fifi wrote Oliver, who lives in Los Angelas, that she was moving to live in California also, they became close. Oliver taught Fifi how to speak fluent English by sending her recordings, tapes, books, and videos that could help her. She eventually learned, and they soon after became best friends. "Are you absolutely positeeve zat zis boardskate is safe?" asked Fifi, warily stepping onto Oliver's skateboard. "Skateboard, Fifi. They're called 'skateboards'," corrected Oliver. Oliver was trying to teach Fifi how to skateboard, but with no such luck. But suddenly, Fifi stopped wabbling and began moving. "I zink I got it!" she exclaimed. "Fifi! Wait! You're goin' downhill!" Oliver shouted something else at Fifi, but she had already began to race downhill. She was going at a considerably fast pace, screaming the whole way. Oliver had to help her! "Oliver! Do somezing!" *OOF!* Fifi was laying on top of Buster Bunny. He and Babs had just walked out of a bike shop when Fifi had hit a rock and went flying into Buster. "Hiya, Feef," greeted a dizzy Buster. "Nice of you to drop by," "Hey, is that a skateboard?" asked Babs, pointing at the broken piece of wood and wheels. "Oiu. I was attempting to ride mon friend's, but I suppose I took les big plunge," "Fifi! You TOTALLY whiped out!" shouted Oliver as he approached her. "I couldn't have done better myself, kid!" Buster stood up and looked at this newcomer. "And who might you be? The fifth Ninja Turtle?" Oliver, being good- natured as he was, responded by introducing himself. "My name is Oliver C. Otter, and I'm visiting Fifi for the weekend." He then shifted his eyes towards Babs. "And who might you be?" Buster replied for her. "I'm Buster Bunny, and this is Babs Bunny," "Um, any such relation?" Babs and Buster glanced at each other. "None," "Vell, now zat you all have grown somewhat aquainted, 'ow about somezing to eat at Veenie Burger?" "Sure thing! And the food's on me!" brought up Oliver, "On to Veenie-- I mean, Weenie Burger!" The gang headed out to Weenie Burger, and when they got there, they were surprised to see Shirley and Plucky--together-- already there. Shirley and Plucky were about to wave at the group until they noticed Oliver. "Whoa! Check out the 'totally tubular dude' heading our way," snickered Plucky, reffering to Oliver's clothes. Shirley saw him and thought the same thing, only with less sarcasm. "Wow! Check out the totally tubular dude heading my way, or some junk!" "Plucky, Shirl', this is Ollie," introduced Buster. "We can call you Ollie, right?" asked Babs. "No," "Hi, Ollie," greeted Shirley and Plucky together. Oliver rolled his eyes. He hated being called "Ollie". Fifi scooted in next to Babs and Shirley. "Oliver here is mon pen pal," Shirley glared up from her shake. She looked at Ollie and then leaned over to Fifi. "Like, I thought you said he was a mondo geek-o. This dude is totally fly!" "Vell, I only assumed..." "So, 'dude',"poked Plucky. Ollie glanced at Plucky and the duck just sort of s,iled back. "What are ya in for? Serving time in Fifi's car? Or did she get tired of seeing black and white and decided to go for something with a little more color?" Ollie looked down at his rather loud shirt and shorts. "Hey, I wear what suits me. I also have the decency to wear pants," Buster and Plucky both looked a little embarrassed. The girls just laughed, and later everyone learned that Ollie was a very humerous fellow. "Okay, I got one! What do you get when you cross a wolf and a turkey?" asked Babs. "A bloated wolf, I'd say," joked Ollie. The others laughed. Shirley found him extremely cute, Babs liked his spirit and humor, Buster liked his coolness, but Fifi and Plucky were actually some what sick of him. "Is he _always_ like this?" asked Plucky. Fifi nodded her head. "He is so much more sinsere in his letters, I am just as surprised as every ozare person is here," "Well, like, I have to go! Meditation is serious stuff, and I shouldn't ignore my aura's need to relax," noted Shirley as she and Plucky got up. Buster and Babs also began to leave. "Yeah, see ya Ollie. Bye Fifi!" added Babs. "Hey Ollie," Buster whispered. "do you need a place to stay? Or are you staying with LaFume?" He nudged Ollie in the side and winked. Ollie, taking this rather offendedly, turned away from Buster, whom walked out with Babs, Plucky and Shirley. "Well, nice bunch of friends you got there," commented Ollie, after the group of looney toons left. "Why on earth would you want to leave them?" Fifi's tail drooped and her head sunk. Ollie saw he needed to help his friend out. "I think I'm gonna have to stay a little longer," That night, Fifi told Ollie her whole problem. He had to agree with her that her life was something of a mess, but not a mess a little elbow grease could fix. So while they were talking, he asked Fifi a few questions. "So, Fifi baby, what kind of a guy would you want?" Fifi, being half asleep, just turned onto her belly and mumbled a few things. "Vou know, I zink a handsome toon zat has soft fur and les great smile, a sense de humor, sturdy build and love for sports would do moi shust fine. A caring fellow zat is not shy nor easily scared avay by an approaching skunkette--" "You?" asked Ollie, who was jotting down notes the whole time. Fifi yawned and rolled over again. "Oiu, oiu, zat is right. I vant a fun loving toon zat is available to me and ready to love me for who 'ah am. A great kisser and someone zat respects other cultures. In one word, I want..." Ollie looked over and saw Fifi asleep on her bed. He smiled and looked at his notes. "I think I may be able to help you out." The next morning, Fifi woke up and put on her robe. She was unnable to find Ollie until she looked out the window. She nealy fainted when she saw what she did. It was a line of toons interested in dating Fifi. She ran outside and much to her surprise found Ollie in charge of it all. "Oliver! What in les world is going on?" "Let's just say I think I can find you that special someone," he said while giving her a reassuring wink. She shook her head and went back inside. Ollie had hoped she would, because he preffered that she wasn't watching this brutal scene. "NEXT!" A blue dachsund hopped in front of Ollie. "And you are?" "Newt," replied the dachsund. He spoke with a German accent. "And why do you think you can satisfy Miss LaFume?" "Because my family has for generations been known to especially hunt weasle like mammals with long, fluffy tails and slender bodies with soft fur." "Hmmm, I think I know you from some where," "Oh surely not! Believe me, I'd remember a pelt from anywhere!" But Ollie remembered Newt well from a previous incident involving his coat and an oil barrel. "NEXT!" The next toon was a deer named Vinnie. "So Vinnie, tell me, do yo have a job?" "No," "Do you go to school?" "No," "Would you consider yourself sincere and witty with a good sense of humor?" "Mamma didn't raise no fool!" "I'm sure she didn't. NEXT!" "Allow me to introduce myself, I am The Brain," said a little white mouse with a big forehead. A skinny white mouse jumped up next to him. "And I'm Pinky! ZORT!" The big headed mouse grabbed Pinky's nose and pulled him to the ground. "Please excuse my incoherant partner, here. He's not well," he said, giving Pinky a stomp on the head. "Hmm, violent fellow isn't he," thought Ollie. "Aren't you just a tad bit- not to sound rude or anything- too old?" "Why, I'm appalled! Can't a middle-aged lab mouse bestow his heart to a teenager?" "Gee, Brain, I thought you were going to use Fifi to sneak into the French--" Pinky was quickly bashed again. "Poit! Nevermind, narf!" "Actually, we are two lab mice bent on taking over the world, but not without Madame LaFume, of course," The Brain gave a quick smile at Ollie, but Ollie raised his eyebrow and shouted "NEXT!" The two mice walked off, and Ollie could hear the little one saying something about world domination. He laughed to himself. "Mice ruling the world, heh heh!" A young British badger named Austin showed up. Ollie thought this guy had possibilities. He was a flashy dresser and had an accent, like Fifi, but there was one tiny problem Ollie soon found out about. "Austin, so far you're the number one stud. One final question: for Fifi's sake, do you consider yourself a good kisser?" Austin smiled and crossed his legs. "Care to find out?" " NEXT NEXT NEXT NEXT NEXT!!!" Things were deffinately going downhill. At this rate, Ollie was affraid Fifi was going to be alone forever, or stuck with some psycho path. Then came a dark character with white gloves and a bright red nose. He answered every question almost perfectly, and he had that child like quality Fifi said she was looking for. "Well, so far so good, mister..." "Bond. James Bond." Ollie raised his eyebrow. "Heh heh! Just joking! The name's Yakko, and I live in a watertower," "Well, at least you have a sense of humor. Why do you like Fifi?" "Are you kidding! She's got more curves than a mountain road, and a voice that's to die for! I mean, come on! If I were a cheetah and she was a gazelle, I'd pounce her in a second! Roooowwr!" Hmmm. He definately talked the talk. And Ollie wasn't going to doubt that he didn't walk the walk. Maybe this was the best choice for Fifi. But wait, didn't he mention he lived in a watertower? "I guess some girls need their variety. Alright, you're in! Are you free this Friday?" "That all depends on who's asking, you or her?" "She'll like you... I hope." "Fifi! Hi! Like, where's your awesome pen pal, Ollie?" asked Shirley when she saw Fifi coming up the road towards her. "You vill not believe sis, but I zink he is trying to get mon date," she said. "Wow! I knew he was totally right fo you! Do you know where you're going?" "He is getting me a date with zombody else, Shirley. I zink he wants me to be wiz some guy, vou know?" Shirley smiled. She really liked this Oliver fellow, but she was a little disappointed in them both for never being more than friends. She was about to say something when Babs hopped up. Heya, girls! What's up, down, and all around?" she asked while jumping everywhere. "Looks to me like you are, Babs. Guess what California Boy is doing for Fifi?" Babs whirled around until she looked like an airheaded teen with high heels and a skimpy outfit. "Like, oh-mi-gosh! He's going out with Fifi! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Fifi shook her head and got up. "Vou two are such, how you say, looney toons," Shirley and Babs leaned in together. "Thanks!" Fifi began to walk off when Shirley floated up to her. "Like, c'mon, Fifi, we were just having a little fun, or some junk! We'd love to help you get ready for your blind date," "Yeah," piped in Babs. "Why don't we go to Acme Mall and see if we can't find you something to wear for that lucky guy!" The two grabbed Fifi by the arms and dragged her to the mall at full speed. Fifi knew this was going to be a very strange day. Well, sure enough, Friday came, and Ollie had gotten things ready for this date he'd arranged. "Oooooooh Fifi!" called Ollie as he knocked on the door to Fifi's car. "I have a surprise for you," When the door opened, Ollie was surprised to see Fifi walk out in a stunning dress. It was blue with a white sash and it made her glow. Her hair had been done so that it was wavy in texture but just as soft as before. Her eyes glowed blue and her necklace matched her irises, which were as purple as any LA sunset. "Ewww, what are you wearing!" scoffed Ollie. Fifi frowned. "Babs and Shirley--" "Ah, say no more, kid. But you've overdressed. You're just going over to Weenie Burger," "Veenie Burger! But I sought I was going to some expensive Italian restaurant!" Ollie laughed. "Kid, you know I live in a boat on the wharf! Do you think I can afford anything more than fast food? Heck no! Now change into something a little less formal unless you care to wash out hamburger stains in the morning. Believe me, for this fellow, you'll want to wear as little as possible!" Fifi shrugged and walked back inside. She was actually glad to be rid of that dress, it was itchy and so tight she couldn't sit down. So instead she threw on the green dress she wore in "Born To Be Riled" and skipped out to Weenie Burger. "I hope this Warner fellow doesn't hurt her like so many others have," thought Ollie as he saw his best friend skip merrily to her date. When Fifi arrived, she sat down in a booth and ordered a diet free soda. When it came, she was about to take a sip when suddenly it started to bubble. A lump formed in the straw and gradually climbed to the opening. Then out popped Yakko, and he slid in next to Fifi. She was still rather surprised, but she shook her head and asked him "Are vou mon date?" Yakko spun around and turned into a romantic Frenchmen. "Ah, oui, oui! Let me take you into mah arms and just stare into your deep, violet eyes," Fifi melted. She hadn't been talked to like that before--ever! "I zink I am going to like zis von, non?" Ollie was pacing back and forth on the front steps to Fifi's car. He looked at his watch. "Ten forty five," he mumbled. They had been out much too late, an he was afraid Yakko was being a little too "friendly"... "Hey, surfer dude!" Ollie turned his head and saw Plucky coming up the path with Shirley next to him. "Oh, hi. Have you two seen Fifi?" They both shook their heads, and Ollie frowned. "Why the bummer vibes, Ollie?" asked Shirley. "Well," he began, "I sent Fifi out on a date with Yakko Warner- -" Plucky jumped in. "As in the Animaniacs Yakko Warner?" "One in the same, Plucky. Anyway, they were supposed to be finished with their meal and movie bye nine o' clock, but it's almost eleven and--" "Awe c'mon, dude! Their just having a little fun! You have nothing to worry about," reassured Shirley. "Really?" "Fer sure!" Ollie looked back down at his watch. "No, I told her to call. She hasn't called yet, I have to go find her." "Fifi, please! Just one little kiss! I've had all my shots," begged Yakko. He had Fifi at his watertower, and he was trying to coax Fifi into a make-out session. Surprisingly, he wasn't having any luck. "But Yakko, zere are kids around! I zink I should shust go home, oui?" Wakko Warner had a tight grip on Fifi while Dot used her fluffy tail as a jump rope. "They've had their vaccines too. Now, how about a little smooch?" When Fifi refused a second time, Yakko, a little aggravated, jumped back. "I think I know what'll start your motor!" Yakko ran into a closet and when he came out, he had painted a white stripe from his forehead to the tip of his tail. Fifi's eyes bugged out and she got all lovey- dovey. She knocked Yakko's sibs aside and lunged on top of him, kissing him all over his face. Yakko winked at the camera. "You just gotta know your prey!" he smiled. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK Dot opened the door and in rushed Ollie. Dot saw him and she, too, got all lovey-dovey. "Helloooooooooooo, otter male nurse!" Ollie had been knocked over by Dot's lunge towards him, and when Yakko came in to see what was wrong, he saw Dot smothering Ollie in kisses. "Ollie, hey!" greeted Yakko. "I got to hand it to ya, this skunk chick is one pleasurable woman! I'm surprised you didn't grab her when you had the chance!" Yakko was about to dash back to where Fifi was, but Fifi walked in and saw Ollie lying on the floor, struggling to get away from Dot. "Oliver, vhat are you doing here?" she asked. He pushed aside Dot and stood up. "I've come to rescue you!" Fifi was taken aback and she began to get a little angry. "So, vou did not trust me wiz sweet, dear Yakko here?" "No, frankly," replied Ollie. Fifi opened her mouth to say something, but instead walked back to the Warner bedroom, nose in the air and tail up. Yakko looked at Ollie coldly and Ollie began to walk out. Dot stopped him. "Excuse me, doll, but just how did you know you'd find Fifi here, in Burbank, of all places?" Ollie pulled out a map of that region of California. He handed it to Dot and pointed to a caption next to Burbank. "Fifi Is Here," Dot read. "Cartoons; gotta love 'em!" Ollie, whom was all by himself, was walking back out of the WB lot when he came across the guard, whom did not see Ollie come in. "Duh, does you'se have a pass?" Ollie shook his head, and when he did, the guard grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and dragged him to the street. He gave Ollie a good kick and sent him sailing across the street, landing in a trash can. Ollie got up and, wobbily, dusted himself out. "Wow, that was almost pointless, I was going out of the lot anyway," Back at the 'tower, Yakko and Fifi were sitting on the top of the watertower gazing at the stars. "You're incredible, Fifi. And the best kisser I know!" complimented Yakko. Fifi smiled, but she felt a little down. She was a little upset for forcing Ollie to leave like that, and she didn't know whether she should run to him and beg for forgiveness, or to focus on Yakko. "Have you ever seen a head shrinker?" he asked her. Of course, she shook her head and the next thing she knew, she was in the office of Dr.Scratchnsniff. Dot and Wakko were also there. "Hey, Scratchy!" cried the sibs, when Dr. Otto Scratchnsniff walked in. He was a tall European man with a wrinkled brow and thick glasses. He was sporting a white coat and didn't seem all too pleased to see the Warners. "Oh, okay, let's start ze session, ya?" "Ya!" Fifi whispered to Yakko "You are in zerapy?" Yakko, Wakko, and Dot all nodded, as though they all heard her. Fifi gulped. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Ollie sat on the steps of Fifi's car. He was looking very forlorn when he suddenly had the urge to swim. So he rushed over to Plucky's hut and banged on the door. Plucky opened the door with a nightcap on and peered out sleepily. "What is it, ya crazy mammal?" "Plucky, I gotta swim. I can't control this feeling, and I gotta swim. I'll go crazy unless you allow me to swim!" Plucky gazed at Ollie only half awake. He really didn't care, just as long as he could sleep. "This isn't in the script, ya know," "I gotta swim!" "Fine, knock yer self out," and he pointed to the pond. Ollie didn't hesitate to take off his shirt and dive in. Plucky shook his and closed the door. The next morning, Plucky walked outside and found Ollie still swimming in his pond! "Oh, hey Plucky! The water is great! Take a dip, it's like floating in jell-o," "Ollie, look, I said you could swim in my pond for a little while, but it's morning now and--" "Have you seen Fifi?" interrupted Ollie. This time, Plucky looked pitiful. It had finally gotten through his thick skull that Ollie missed Fifi and was worried sick about her. "I'm gonna call Shirley, now, so stay put." "Like, hello?" answered Shirley when she picked up the phone. "Your surfer dude is surfer- sick over here! He still hasn't found Fifi! Last night he came to my house and--" "And he's been swimming in your pond since," Shirley finished. Plucky grumbled. "I hate talking to mind readers," "Plucky," began Shirley "I've noticed that Ollie seems to avoid talking about his feelings and things that seem to be, like, emotional. He's totally bummed out that Fifi's found someone to cuddle up to," "But he worked so hard to get her a date, why is he sad?" "Because, Plucky, it isn't him anymore." Just then, somebody was banging on Shirley's mansion door. She put the phone down and opened it, and to her horror she saw Fifi frizzed up and twitching. She hadn't seen Fifi like that since they first saw the One-Eyed Jack. She brought her freaked- out friend and sat her down. "Fifi, like, what gives?" asked Shirley while she got her friend a warm drink. Fifi, in her spastic way, began explaining what happened. "Y- yakko was toooooo weird! Zat is i-it, he was, 'ow you say, off his rocking ch-chair!" "Close enough," thought Shirley. "Like, say no more. Let's get you spiffed up and over to Plucky's house." Fifi wasn't sure as to why she had to go to Plucky's, but she was confused all over from last night with the Warners that she didn't really care. She was walking up the stairs to Shirley's bathroom when Shirley heard Plucky shouting over the phone. She rushed over to it and picked it up. "Crazy loon! Where were you?" he shouted. "Sorry, Plucky, but Fifi's here," There was a pause at the other end of the line, and then Plucky asked quietly "Is she coming over?" "She's, taking a shower, er some junk. How's Ollie?" "He's doing the breast stroke. Earlier he had lapped the pond three hundred times in eight minutes. Tell that skunk friend of yours to hustle up before this guy does the high dive off of my house!" he finished, hanging up the phone. Shirley was a bit angry, but before she could do anything she saw Fifi come down the stairs with a towel on her head. "Vhy are we going to Plucky's house?" asked Fifi, who was drying her hair. "There's someone you totally need to talk to,"answered Shirley, grabbing Fifi's wrist and pulling her to Plucky's. Fifi stopped and flipped Shirley's grip away. "Ah do not zink I can face poor Oliver again. I hurt him so much last night," she sighed. But Shirley paid no attention to Fifi. She used her powers to lift Fifi into the air and they both floated full speed to Plucky's. "... and then I saw her happy with Yakko. Of all people, she was happy with Yakko!" complained Ollie. Plucky had allowed the poor otter to pour his feelings out to him, but Plucky had heard all he could take. "Sheesh, pally! I told you that you could share some pain with me, but I didn't say you could tell me everything that's happened to you since the LA Riot!" "Sorry," sighed Ollie. "I'm new at this emotions thing," But to his surprise, Ollie saw Fifi fall from the sky and land with a splash into the pond. Ollie dove in and when he came up he was holding Fifi in his arms. Shirley floated down and appologized for her poor landing. "Hmph, you zink you are les sorry one..." thought Fifi. Then she looked and saw that Ollie was holding her. She began to cry. "There, there, kid! You'll be alright! A little water never hurt anybody!" joked Ollie. He swam to the bank and lifted Fifi out onto the grass. He then went underwater and quickly lept out of it, like a dolphin in the ocean. Fifi gasped. "Vhere did you learn how to do zat marvelous trick?" Ollie raised his fingers up to his left ear and griped the earing. "A long time ago, somebody I was very close to taught me a few things about swimming," "Are they gonna kiss?" whispered Plucky to Shirley. She nudged him in his side and then motioned for him to leave with her. "I think they, like, need to be alone, 'kay?" As the two crept away, Fifi asked about his earing. "Well, Fifi, I've never told anybody this story before, but years ago, my family was killed in an oil spill. We lived in Alaska at the time, and you may have heard about the great Alaskan oil spill. Well, me and my family were diving for fish when my father told me to go up to the fish shop to collect the money the man owed us from the last load of fish we brought in. You see, we made our living by supplying his store with fish, squid, and other sea foods. Many otters in the area did it, and it was good honest work." "About an hour later, I came back with the money, but when I came to the beach, I dropped it in shock. The ocean was black with oil, and the beach was littered with dead or dying animals. My father was one of them. "Scared, I rushed to him. I asked him what had happened and he told me a tanker not far from here had crashed into a huge rock, spilling it's cargo; oil. My father reached into his pocket and pulled out the family ring--" "Ze family ring?" asked Fifi. "It's a tradition that otters have. Every family has a ring, and it's sorta like a family coat of arms. Anyway, my father gave me the ring and told me this. "'Son, I want you to know that you will never be alone. You mother, your sister, and I will always be close to you always. If you ever feel like you haven't a friend in the world, let this ring remind you that you'll always be loved by someone,' he said, as he handed me the ring." "What happened next?" asked Fifi, with a small tear forming in her eye. "Then he died." Fifi began to cry on Ollie's shoulders. She had no idea Ollie's parents were dead, and she remembered many times reminding Ollie that she had nobody to turn to, thinking he in fact did. "Hey, cheer up, sport! I'm not miserable. I moved down to California a week after the incident in hopes of starting a new life, and I did. My fur turned blonde from the sun, I enjoyed the warmer waters, the people there are so interesting-- and I got my ring made into an earing to fit in, ya know?" Fifi sniffed a little. "Seems to me vou have it as an earing so it vill always be vith you, oiu?" Ollie didn't answer. He just sat down against a tree and sighed a deep "Sigh." Fifi sat next to him and rested her head on his shoulder. Feeling uneasy, Ollie stood up and walked over by the water's edge. He stretched a little, and then jumped in. He started doing laps around the pool again. Fifi could see his muscles rippling as he glided through the water. She'd never really noticed it, but he was actually a very sturdy, good looking young man. "Um, I am going home, I feel a little uneasy. If you do not mind, could you tell Shirley zat I appreciate--" but Fifi noticed Ollie wasn't listening, so she began to walk home. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * When Fifi reached her house, it was four o' clock. It was a long walk from Plucky's pond to down town Acme Acres, but she made it. She'd stopped along the way to talk to Babs, but she wasn't much help to Fifi. She was confused, and Babs was feasting on pixie sticks. Whenever she asked about Ollie, Babs would reply with something like "Take two eggs in the morning and you'll feel hunky-dorey at daybreak!" As Fifi cleared junk off of her bed, she saw a piece of paper with descriptions of guys on it. It was in Ollie's handwriting, she could tell, but these were all descriptions that she came up with. "So zat is why he asked me what kind of guy I would like, ze little boy! He tried to help me find a man by using ze descriptions I gave him! 'Ow could I have not seen it before?" She began reading the list. "Not shy, humorous, sports lover, a great person, good kisser..." she continued reading the list when she came to the bottom. In parenthesies, it said "In a nutshell, Oliver old boy, she wants a guy like you." Like a stone, it hit her. She dropped the paper and grabbed her coat. She had to find Ollie. She opened the door and as she raced out, she ran right into the guy she was looking for. "Whoa, slow down Fifi! Where are you off to in such a hurry?" Fifi smiled and clutched Ollie. He was a little surprised, but before he could ask any questions, she kissed him. It was good and long, and Ollie couldn't do much about it. At first he struggled, but then he just let himself relax. Fifi let up and broke the lip lock. "Nice to see you too, sweetheart!" joked Ollie. "I know who I need, and it is vou. I vant nobody else but you, my sweet Oliver," Ollie sat up. "Why me?" Disappointed, Fifi backed away. "Oliver, do you not see it? You have saved me, in every way a man can save a girl you have done so," "Awe, now you're quoting that movie, ya know, the one with the boat and--" he stopped. She was right. He'd saved her life, her confidence, her love life-- everything. Even if it was a poor quote from a box-office smash, it was true. "I love vou, Oliver," "I, I love you, too." "Hey Ollie! Yo, ya left your shirt at my house!" shouted Plucky, coming up the path to Fifi's. He stopped when he saw Fifi and Ollie in a deep, long kiss. "Well, " he thought. "I guess everything's been patched up between them." Ollie backed away from Fifi. He took out his earring and held it in his paw, looking at it. Suddenly, he tossed it into a big pile of trash. Fifi thought he'd gone insane. "Oliver! You will never find your ring now!" He turned to face Fifi. He wasn't worried, but he was smiling. "Fifi," he started, taking her hands, "I don't need it anymore." She was so touched by this that she didn't know what to do or what to say. "I have not been zis confused since I dreamed I vas dating Plucky Duck,-" (Plucky at this moment had dropped his jaw, for he was still nearbye and was hearing every word.) "- but I hope, Oliver, I hope wiz all mah heart zat zis is no dream." "Hold it right there!" interrupted Plucky. He threw Ollie's shirt at him and grabbed Ollie's hand. "Put your shirt on and come with me. You're spending the night at my house! I don't want you alone with her for another second! This fanfic aint supposed to be TTBS, and as much as I would like it to be TTBS, it is not going to turn into that!" Plucky grabbed Ollie and dragged him away. Ollie was so upset with Plucky that he wanted to tear out his beak and stuff every feather on his body into it. But even he had to admit that Plucky was probably right about that TTBS stuff. So instead he waved Fifi good bye. She blew him a kiss and walked daintily back inside her home. She moved with such grace and she looked so beautiful to him that he melted into a gooey puddle. "Hey, Ollie, you're getting a little light back there," shouted Plucky as he dragged his liquid companion back to his place. It was Sunday when Fifi woke up. She felt so wonderful that she had finally found true love that she couldn't wait to see Ollie again. She skipped out of her car wearing her cheerleading uniform (which seemed to catch many boys' attention) when she stumbled apon a letter. She opened it with care and read it. "To my dearest Fifi, It is Oliver. I tried to call you last night, but the duck patrol here wouldn't let me get near the phone. So I wrote you this, it's a goodbye letter-" Fifi seemed to just freeze. She stood stiffly, holding the letter, with the only movement being a tear trickeling down her cheek. "I thought he loved me," she sighed to herself. She looked back at the letter. "But don't think I don't love you. I have a world of my own in LA, and you can't possibly understand it. Therefore, I'll save us the trouble and just say this. I do, I love you more than anything-- the stars, the sky, the moon, even the ocean, blue and gentle. I love you more than anything else dear to me. I hope you can see that, and I hope you never forget it. I know I won't." She clutched the letter close to her heart. He did still love her. She read the last line of the note, and she read it aloud. "Sincerely yours forever, Oliver" THE END