Sincerely Yours, Oliver.
By Zucccini@aol.com

	This was one of those days for Fifi LaFume. It couldn't get any
worse.
	That day, Hamton had given her a note in gym class that said he
wasn't allowed to go out with her any more. His parents set up a new
rule about dating your own species, which meant he and Fifi were
through. Fifi always thought Hammy was just a little too much of a
momma's-boy, but she respected his decision (if you can call running
into the bathroom and crying on a total stranger's arm while telling her
how rotten a guy is "respect"...).
	Not only that, but her mentor Monsier Pepe LePew had told
Fifi, his best student, that she was slacking off and not putting her best
effort into her work. She wasn't sure what was wrong with herself. It
had started out as a pretty good week, but it just kept going downhill,
be it boy problems, school problems, or even health problems. Fifi had
strep throat earlier that week, and her throat was still sore. She spoke
to Shirley on that terrible Thursday afternoon about her grief.
	"Fifi, I totally follow you here," Shirley stated as she hovered
over Fifi's head. Fifi was clutching her knees and leaning up against a
tree.
	"I do not know what is wrong wiz me. I vas doing shust fine
last week, and les week before, but for some reason, I have been in ze
sky," complained Fifi.
	"You mean your head is in the clouds?" asked Plucky, as he
walked up to his floating girlfriend. Fifi nodded and Plucky rolled his
eyes. "You've been hanging out with loon girl here too long," Shirley
gave Plucky a cold look, and he slowly backed away.
	"Fifi," continued the loon," I'm connecting here, and I think it
has to do with your relationship with the opposite sex, dig?"
	"Relationship? What relationship?" asked Plucky. Another cold
look was shot at him.
	"Have you had any recent convo's with a guy? You know, like,
talk to a soul mate?"
	"Vell, yesterday morning I had six cups de coffee and les bag de
M&M's. I ended up having ze intemite coversation with mon juice
blender."
	"No, no! I'm totally talking about a spiritual connection with a
potential dreamboat on a less 'intemite' level, or some junk." Fifi looked
puzzled. Plucky again rolled his eyes.
	"She means some guy on the internet! Sheesh!"
	Fifi thought a moment, but she couldn't come up with anybody
but some drooling fan boys. "Did you know zere was a flub on mon
face in zat episode 'Les Amazing Three'?"
	Shirley looked down at Plucky as he slapped his forehead.
"What does that have to do with anything?"
	"I do not know, but some bizzare person named Zuccini told
me zat"
	"Okay, I'm outta here!" Plucky shouted as he stood up. "This
'convo' is going nowhere. I'm gonna go munch some burgers with
Ham-bone,"
	As Plucky walked off, Fifi remembered Hamton and began to
sob. She got up, brushed aside some tears, grabbed her school books
and walked home, leaving Shirley to hover and wonder.

	Fifi knew she'd left Shirley and Plucky a little clueless. She'd
meant to do that. The truth was, Fifi didn't feel like living. It's not just
these new problems, but the fact that she has no parents, no love
interest, no real hobbies but looking for a love interest, and almost no
goal for after high school just doesn't seem like much to look forward
to for the next day and the next. There were things she wanted to be,
like CEO of Time Warner, but she didn't want others to laugh at her, so
she bottled up her feelings and wrote them down whenever she
returned home.
	" Dear Oliver,
                        It is me, you're beloved pen pal. I'm afraid this may be
my last letter to you.-"
Fifi sniffed a little, than continued.
"-for I am very dissapointed with my life. I have few friends, no family,
and no future. And unless some miracle happens-"
A teardrop splashed onto her paper.
"I may not make it tomarrow. I have enjoyed being your pen pal, ever
since I moved to America, because you have always been there for me.
My only regret is that I won't be there for you any longer.
                                                                                  -sincerely yours
forever,
                                                                                                   Fifi
LaFume."

	The next day, Fifi went to school and had yet another horrible
day. Montana Max had mocked her for being lame enough to actually
have gotten dumped by Hamton. Word got around that Hammy was
seeing some girl in Florida, but that seemed sort of stupid to most
people.
	At lunch, Shirley tried to make conversation with her, but it
wasn't going very far, that is, until Babs mentioned something about
long distance relationships.
	"... so anyway, these two geeks named Nefaria and HKUri--
something like that-- were bothering me about how attractive I am and
stuff when it occured to me, these people must be total losers! So I
signed off the internet and called Harriet,"
	"These fanboys don't even know what we look like! I'm totally
shocked whenever I, like, sign on, ya know? My mailbox is just so
crammed!" gagged Shirley, who was stuffing tofu into her mounth.
	"So, Feef, what happens to you? You must get tons of letters!"
asked Babs as she munched on her carrot chips.
	"Vell, actually, I do not get on zis, how you say, cyber city too
much. I have a pen pal I write to," she replied, sadly.
	"Fifi! Like, why didn't you tell me about this snail mail male?"
Shirley replied, excitedly. "It is a 'guy', right?"
	"As vou would say, totally. However, he is a geek and certainly
not ze potential love interest,"
	"Have you ever seen him before?" inquisited Babs.
	"No,"admitted Fifi," but his name is 'Oliver'. 'Ow many skunk
hunks do vou know of zat are named 'Oliver'?"
	"Point taken,"


	After school, instead of going to the mall with the gang, Fifi
walked home, alone, with a big bottle in her back pack. Inside her car,
she pulled out the bottle and revealed what was inside-- white out.
  You guessed it, Fifi was going to erase her existence.

	As she lifted the bottle up to her mouth, she saw a picture of
her friends at a picnic from last summer. She was currled around
Hamton, who was eating a watermellon the size of his head, Babs and
Buster were holding hands, and Shirley was hovering over Plucky.
	Fifi whiped away a tear and turned the photo so it was faced
down. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. But just as she was
about to drink...

	"STOP RIGHT THERE!"

	Fifi was so surprised she dropped the bottle and ink spilled all
over the appolstry. Than she turned to the intruder.
	"Who do you zink you are? And vhat are you doing in mon
home?" she asked.
	"It appears that I'm saving your life, sweetheart," said the
stranger. "My name's Oliver."
	Fifi gasped. Her pen pal's name was Oliver! Was this him?
	"Oliver, why are vou here?" she asked.
	"I thought I already answered that one. I'm saving you from
death!"
	After seven years of writing to Oliver, she finally met him, and
he wasn't anything Fifi thought he would be. For one thing, he wasn't
even a skunk. He was a blonde Californian otter. His hair wasn't like
most male toons' hair, it was messed up and a lighter blonde than his
fur. His left ear was pierced, which Fifi had _never_ seen before on a
toon, and his eyes were soft blue. He wore an aloha shirt, which made
him kind of look goofy, yet handsome at the same time. It was
unbuttoned so that his chest and stomach were showing. He wore a
pair of swimming trunks that were red, and he was holding a
skateboard in his right arm.
	"Vou are definately from California," she thought aloud.
	"What was that?"
	"Zat is, uh, you look much different zen I had imagined. For
one, I zought you were a skunk, too,"
	"Yeah? Well, I always figured you were a poodle or
something," he snickered.
Fifi looked a little offended, but than her eyes focused on his earing. He
noticed this and said something. "I'm not a freak, I just have this, thing,
about my earing. It's sorta symbolic of a person I knew long ago.
Believe me, it's the only thing pierced,"
	Fifi smiled and Oliver smiled back.
	Later, the two went out for some ice cream and to discuss stuff
about each other they'd never shared with anybody else. They were,
after all, best friends. You see, when Fifi and Oliver first started writing
to each other, they were about seven, maybe eight years old-- two
years before Fifi moved to America. They weren't real close, it was all
part of an international school thing where students try to connect and
get to know other students from around the world. They weren't told
what the other's species was or what they looked like, just what their
names were and how old they were. But when Fifi wrote Oliver, who
lives in Los Angelas, that she was moving to live in California also, they
became close. Oliver taught Fifi how to speak fluent English by sending
her recordings, tapes, books, and videos that could help her. She
eventually learned, and they soon after became best friends.

	"Are you absolutely positeeve zat zis boardskate is safe?" asked
Fifi, warily stepping onto Oliver's skateboard.
	"Skateboard, Fifi. They're called 'skateboards'," corrected
Oliver. Oliver was trying to teach Fifi how to skateboard, but with no
such luck. But suddenly, Fifi stopped wabbling and began moving.
	"I zink I got it!" she exclaimed.
	"Fifi! Wait! You're goin' downhill!" Oliver shouted something
else at Fifi, but she had already began to race downhill. She was going
at a considerably fast pace, screaming the whole way. Oliver had to
help her!
	"Oliver! Do somezing!"

	*OOF!*

	Fifi was laying on top of Buster Bunny. He and Babs had just
walked out of a bike shop when Fifi had hit a rock and went flying into
Buster.
	"Hiya, Feef," greeted a dizzy Buster. "Nice of you to drop by,"
	"Hey, is that a skateboard?" asked Babs, pointing at the broken
piece of wood and wheels.
	"Oiu. I was attempting to ride mon friend's, but I suppose I
took les big plunge,"
	"Fifi! You TOTALLY whiped out!" shouted Oliver as he
approached her. "I couldn't have done better myself, kid!"
	Buster stood up and looked at this newcomer. "And who might
you be? The fifth Ninja Turtle?"
	Oliver, being good- natured as he was, responded by
introducing himself. "My name is Oliver C. Otter, and I'm visiting Fifi
for the weekend." He then shifted his eyes towards Babs. "And who
might you be?"
	Buster replied for her. "I'm Buster Bunny, and this is Babs
Bunny,"
	"Um, any such relation?"
	Babs and Buster glanced at each other. "None,"
	"Vell, now zat you all have grown somewhat aquainted, 'ow
about somezing to eat at Veenie Burger?"
	"Sure thing! And the food's on me!" brought up Oliver, "On to
Veenie-- I mean, Weenie Burger!"

	The gang headed out to Weenie Burger, and when they got
there, they were surprised to see Shirley and Plucky--together-- already
there. Shirley and Plucky were about to wave at the group until they
noticed Oliver.
	"Whoa! Check out the 'totally tubular dude' heading our way,"
snickered Plucky, reffering to Oliver's clothes.
	Shirley saw him and thought the same thing, only with less
sarcasm. "Wow! Check out the totally tubular dude heading my way, or
some junk!"
	"Plucky, Shirl', this is Ollie," introduced Buster.
	"We can call you Ollie, right?" asked Babs.
	"No,"
	"Hi, Ollie," greeted Shirley and Plucky together. Oliver rolled
his eyes. He hated being called "Ollie".
	Fifi scooted in next to Babs and Shirley. "Oliver here is mon
pen pal,"
	Shirley glared up from her shake. She looked at Ollie and then
leaned over to Fifi. "Like, I thought you said he was a mondo geek-o.
This dude is totally fly!"
	"Vell, I only assumed..."
	"So, 'dude',"poked Plucky. Ollie glanced at Plucky and the duck
just sort of s,iled back. "What are ya in for? Serving time in Fifi's car?
Or did she get tired of seeing black and white and decided to go for
something with a little more color?"
	Ollie looked down at his rather loud shirt and shorts. "Hey, I
wear what suits me. I also have the decency to wear pants," Buster and
Plucky both looked a little embarrassed. The girls just laughed, and
later everyone learned that Ollie was a very humerous fellow.

	"Okay, I got one! What do you get when you cross a wolf and a
turkey?" asked Babs.
	"A bloated wolf, I'd say," joked Ollie. The others laughed.
Shirley found him extremely cute, Babs liked his spirit and humor,
Buster liked his coolness, but Fifi and Plucky were actually some what
sick of him.
	"Is he _always_ like this?" asked Plucky. Fifi nodded her head.
	"He is so much more sinsere in his letters, I am just as surprised
as every ozare person is here,"
	"Well, like, I have to go! Meditation is serious stuff, and I
shouldn't ignore my aura's need to relax," noted Shirley as she and
Plucky got up. Buster and Babs also began to leave.
	"Yeah, see ya Ollie. Bye Fifi!" added Babs.
	"Hey Ollie," Buster whispered. "do you need a place to stay? Or
are you staying with LaFume?" He nudged Ollie in the side and winked.
Ollie, taking this rather offendedly, turned away from Buster, whom
walked out with Babs, Plucky and Shirley.
	"Well, nice bunch of friends you got there," commented Ollie,
after the group of looney toons left. "Why on earth would you want to
leave them?"
	Fifi's tail drooped and her head sunk. Ollie saw he needed to
help his friend out. "I think I'm gonna have to stay a little longer,"


	That night, Fifi told Ollie her whole problem. He had to agree
with her that her life was something of a mess, but not a mess a little
elbow grease could fix. So while they were talking, he asked Fifi a few
questions.
	"So, Fifi baby, what kind of a guy would you want?"
	Fifi, being half asleep, just turned onto her belly and mumbled a
few things. "Vou know, I zink a handsome toon zat has soft fur and les
great smile, a sense de humor, sturdy build and love for sports would
do moi shust fine. A caring fellow zat is not shy nor easily scared avay
by an approaching skunkette--"
	"You?" asked Ollie, who was jotting down notes the whole
time.
	Fifi yawned and rolled over again. "Oiu, oiu, zat is right. I vant
a fun loving toon zat is available to me and ready to love me for who
'ah am. A great kisser and someone zat respects other cultures. In one
word, I want..."
	Ollie looked over and saw Fifi asleep on her bed. He smiled and
looked at his notes. "I think I may be able to help you out."


	The next morning, Fifi woke up and put on her robe. She was
unnable to find Ollie until she looked out the window. She nealy fainted
when she saw what she did. It was a line of toons interested in dating
Fifi. She ran outside and much to her surprise found Ollie in charge of
it all.
	"Oliver! What in les world is going on?"
	"Let's just say I think I can find you that special someone," he
said while giving her a reassuring wink. She shook her head and went
back inside. Ollie had hoped she would, because he preffered that she
wasn't watching this brutal scene.
	"NEXT!"

	A blue dachsund hopped in front of Ollie. "And you are?"
	"Newt," replied the dachsund. He spoke with a German accent.
	"And why do you think you can satisfy Miss LaFume?"
	"Because my family has for generations been known to
especially hunt weasle like mammals with long, fluffy tails and slender
bodies with soft fur."
	"Hmmm, I think I know you from some where,"
	"Oh surely not! Believe me, I'd remember a pelt from
anywhere!"
	But Ollie remembered Newt well from a previous incident
involving his coat and an oil barrel. "NEXT!"

	The next toon was a deer named Vinnie.
	"So Vinnie, tell me, do yo have a job?"
	"No,"
	"Do you go to school?"
	"No,"
	"Would you consider yourself sincere and witty with a good
sense of humor?"
	"Mamma didn't raise no fool!"
	"I'm sure she didn't. NEXT!"

	"Allow me to introduce myself, I am The Brain," said a little
white mouse with a big forehead.
	A skinny white mouse jumped up next to him. "And I'm Pinky!
ZORT!"
	The big headed mouse grabbed Pinky's nose and pulled him to
the ground. "Please excuse my incoherant partner, here. He's not well,"
he said, giving Pinky a stomp on the head.
	"Hmm, violent fellow isn't he," thought Ollie. "Aren't you just a
tad bit- not to sound rude or anything- too old?"
	"Why, I'm appalled! Can't a middle-aged lab mouse bestow his
heart to a teenager?"
	"Gee, Brain, I thought you were going to use Fifi to sneak into
the French--" Pinky was quickly bashed again. "Poit! Nevermind, narf!"
	"Actually, we are two lab mice bent on taking over the world,
but not without Madame LaFume, of course,"
	The Brain gave a quick smile at Ollie, but Ollie raised his
eyebrow and shouted "NEXT!"
	The two mice walked off, and Ollie could hear the little one
saying something about world domination. He laughed to himself.
"Mice ruling the world, heh heh!"

	A young British badger named Austin showed up. Ollie thought
this guy had possibilities. He was a flashy dresser and had an accent,
like Fifi, but there was one tiny problem Ollie soon found out about.
	"Austin, so far you're the number one stud. One final question:
for Fifi's sake, do you consider yourself a good kisser?"
	Austin smiled and crossed his legs. "Care to find out?"
	" NEXT NEXT NEXT NEXT NEXT!!!"


	Things were deffinately going downhill. At this rate, Ollie was
affraid Fifi was going to be alone forever, or stuck with some psycho
path. Then came a dark character with white gloves and a bright red
nose. He answered every question almost perfectly, and he had that
child like quality Fifi said she was looking for.
	"Well, so far so good, mister..."
	"Bond. James Bond."
	Ollie raised his eyebrow.
	"Heh heh! Just joking! The name's Yakko, and I live in a
watertower,"
	"Well, at least you have a sense of humor. Why do you like
Fifi?"
	"Are you kidding! She's got more curves than a mountain road,
and a voice that's to die for! I mean, come on! If I were a cheetah and
she was a gazelle, I'd pounce her in a second! Roooowwr!"
	Hmmm. He definately talked the talk. And Ollie wasn't going to
doubt that he didn't walk the walk. Maybe this was the best choice for
Fifi. But wait, didn't he mention he lived in a watertower?
	"I guess some girls need their variety. Alright, you're in! Are
you free this Friday?"
	"That all depends on who's asking, you or her?"
	"She'll like you... I hope."


	"Fifi! Hi! Like, where's your awesome pen pal, Ollie?" asked
Shirley when she saw Fifi coming up the road towards her.
	"You vill not believe sis, but I zink he is trying to get mon
date," she said.
	"Wow! I knew he was totally right fo you! Do you know where
you're going?"
	"He is getting me a date with zombody else, Shirley. I zink he
wants me to be wiz some guy, vou know?"
	Shirley smiled. She really liked this Oliver fellow, but she was a
little disappointed in them both for never being more than friends. She
was about to say something when Babs hopped up.
	Heya, girls! What's up, down, and all around?" she asked while
jumping everywhere.
	"Looks to me like you are, Babs. Guess what California Boy is
doing for Fifi?"
	Babs whirled around until she looked like an airheaded teen
with high heels and a skimpy outfit. "Like, oh-mi-gosh! He's going out
with Fifi! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
	Fifi shook her head and got up. "Vou two are such, how you
say, looney toons,"
	Shirley and Babs leaned in together. "Thanks!"
	Fifi began to walk off when Shirley floated up to her. "Like,
c'mon, Fifi, we were just having a little fun, or some junk! We'd love to
help you get ready for your blind date,"
	"Yeah," piped in Babs. "Why don't we go to Acme Mall and see
if we can't find you something to wear for that lucky guy!"
	The two grabbed Fifi by the arms and dragged her to the mall at
full speed. Fifi knew this was going to be a very strange day.

	Well, sure enough, Friday came, and Ollie had gotten things
ready for this date he'd arranged.
	"Oooooooh Fifi!" called Ollie as he knocked on the door to
Fifi's car. "I have a surprise for you,"
	When the door opened, Ollie was surprised to see Fifi walk out
in a stunning dress. It was blue with a white sash and it made her glow.
Her hair had been done so that it was wavy in texture but just as soft as
before. Her eyes glowed blue and her necklace matched her irises,
which were as purple as any LA sunset.
	"Ewww, what are you wearing!" scoffed Ollie.
	Fifi frowned. "Babs and Shirley--"
	"Ah, say no more, kid. But you've overdressed. You're just
going over to Weenie Burger,"
	"Veenie Burger! But I sought I was going to some expensive
Italian restaurant!"
	Ollie laughed. "Kid, you know I live in a boat on the wharf! Do
you think I can afford anything more than fast food? Heck no! Now
change into something a little less formal unless you care to wash out
hamburger stains in the morning. Believe me, for this fellow, you'll
want to wear as little as possible!"

	Fifi shrugged and walked back inside. She was actually glad to
be rid of that dress, it was itchy and so tight she couldn't sit down. So
instead she threw on the green dress she wore in "Born To Be Riled"
and skipped out to Weenie Burger.

	"I hope this Warner fellow doesn't hurt her like so many others
have," thought Ollie as he saw his best friend skip merrily to her date.



	When Fifi arrived, she sat down in a booth and ordered a diet
free soda. When it came, she was about to take a sip when suddenly it
started to bubble. A lump formed in the straw and gradually climbed to
the opening. Then out popped Yakko, and he slid in next to Fifi. She
was still rather surprised, but she shook her head and asked him "Are
vou mon date?"
	Yakko spun around and turned into a romantic Frenchmen.
"Ah, oui, oui! Let me take you into mah arms and just stare into your
deep, violet eyes,"
	Fifi melted. She hadn't been talked to like that before--ever! "I
zink I am going to like zis von, non?"


	Ollie was pacing back and forth on the front steps to Fifi's car.
He looked at his watch. "Ten forty five," he mumbled. They had been
out much too late, an he was afraid Yakko was being a little too
"friendly"...

	"Hey, surfer dude!" Ollie turned his head and saw Plucky
coming up the path with Shirley next to him.
	"Oh, hi. Have you two seen Fifi?" They both shook their heads,
and Ollie frowned.
	"Why the bummer vibes, Ollie?" asked Shirley.
	"Well," he began, "I sent Fifi out on a date with Yakko Warner-
-"
	Plucky jumped in. "As in the Animaniacs Yakko Warner?"
	"One in the same, Plucky. Anyway, they were supposed to be
finished with their meal and movie bye nine o' clock, but it's almost
eleven and--"
	"Awe c'mon, dude! Their just having a little fun! You have
nothing to worry about," reassured Shirley.
	"Really?"
	"Fer sure!"
	Ollie looked back down at his watch. "No, I told her to call.
She hasn't called yet, I have to go find her."


	"Fifi, please! Just one little kiss! I've had all my shots," begged
Yakko. He had Fifi at his watertower, and he was trying to coax Fifi
into a make-out session. Surprisingly, he wasn't having any luck.
	"But Yakko, zere are kids around! I zink I should shust go
home, oui?" Wakko Warner had a tight grip on Fifi while Dot used her
fluffy tail as a jump rope.
	"They've had their vaccines too. Now, how about a little
smooch?" When Fifi refused a second time, Yakko, a little aggravated,
jumped back. "I think I know what'll start your motor!" Yakko ran into
a closet and when he came out, he had painted a white stripe from his
forehead to the tip of his tail. Fifi's eyes bugged out and she got all
lovey- dovey. She knocked Yakko's sibs aside and lunged on top of
him, kissing him all over his face. Yakko winked at the camera. "You
just gotta know your prey!" he smiled.
	KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
	Dot opened the door and in rushed Ollie. Dot saw him and she,
too, got all lovey-dovey. "Helloooooooooooo, otter male nurse!"
	Ollie had been knocked over by Dot's lunge towards him, and
when Yakko came in to see what was wrong, he saw Dot smothering
Ollie in kisses.
	"Ollie, hey!" greeted Yakko. "I got to hand it to ya, this skunk
chick is one pleasurable woman! I'm surprised you didn't grab her when
you had the chance!" Yakko was about to dash back to where Fifi was,
but Fifi walked in and saw Ollie lying on the floor, struggling to get
away from Dot.
	"Oliver, vhat are you doing here?" she asked.
	He pushed aside Dot and stood up. "I've come to rescue you!"
	Fifi was taken aback and she began to get a little angry. "So,
vou did not trust me wiz sweet, dear Yakko here?"
	"No, frankly," replied Ollie. Fifi opened her mouth to say
something, but instead walked back to the Warner bedroom, nose in
the air and tail up. Yakko looked at Ollie coldly and Ollie began to
walk out. Dot stopped him.
	"Excuse me, doll, but just how did you know you'd find Fifi
here, in Burbank, of all places?"
	Ollie pulled out a map of that region of California. He handed it
to Dot and pointed to a caption next to Burbank. "Fifi Is Here," Dot
read. "Cartoons; gotta love 'em!"


	Ollie, whom was all by himself, was walking back out of the
WB lot when he came across the guard, whom did not see Ollie come
in.
	"Duh, does you'se have a pass?"
	Ollie shook his head, and when he did, the guard grabbed him
by the scruff of the neck and dragged him to the street. He gave Ollie a
good kick and sent him sailing across the street, landing in a trash can.
	Ollie got up and, wobbily, dusted himself out. "Wow, that was
almost pointless, I was going out of the lot anyway,"


	Back at the 'tower, Yakko and Fifi were sitting on the top of the
watertower gazing at the stars.
	"You're incredible, Fifi. And the best kisser I know!"
complimented Yakko. Fifi smiled, but she felt a little down. She was a
little upset for forcing Ollie to leave like that, and she didn't know
whether she should run to him and beg for forgiveness, or to focus on
Yakko.
	"Have you ever seen a head shrinker?" he asked her. Of course,
she shook her head and the next thing she knew, she was in the office
of Dr.Scratchnsniff. Dot and Wakko were also there.
	"Hey, Scratchy!" cried the sibs, when Dr. Otto Scratchnsniff
walked in. He was a tall European man with a wrinkled brow and thick
glasses. He was sporting a white coat and didn't seem all too pleased to
see the Warners.
	"Oh, okay, let's start ze session, ya?"
	"Ya!"
	Fifi whispered to Yakko "You are in zerapy?"
	Yakko, Wakko, and Dot all nodded, as though they all heard
her. Fifi gulped.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
	Ollie sat on the steps of Fifi's car. He was looking very forlorn
when he suddenly had the urge to swim. So he rushed over to Plucky's
hut and banged on the door. Plucky opened the door with a nightcap
on and peered out sleepily. "What is it, ya crazy mammal?"
	"Plucky, I gotta swim. I can't control this feeling, and I gotta
swim. I'll go crazy unless you allow me to swim!"
	Plucky gazed at Ollie only half awake. He really didn't care, just
as long as he could sleep. "This isn't in the script, ya know,"
	"I gotta swim!"
	"Fine, knock yer self out," and he pointed to the pond. Ollie
didn't hesitate to take off his shirt and dive in. Plucky shook his and
closed the door.

	The next morning, Plucky walked outside and found Ollie still
swimming in his pond!
	"Oh, hey Plucky! The water is great! Take a dip, it's like
floating in jell-o,"
	"Ollie, look, I said you could swim in my pond for a little while,
but it's morning now and--"
	"Have you seen Fifi?" interrupted Ollie.
	This time, Plucky looked pitiful. It had finally gotten through
his thick skull that Ollie missed Fifi and was worried sick about her.
"I'm gonna call Shirley, now, so stay put."

	"Like, hello?" answered Shirley when she picked up the phone.
	"Your surfer dude is surfer- sick over here! He still hasn't found
Fifi! Last night he came to my house and--"
	"And he's been swimming in your pond since," Shirley finished.
	Plucky grumbled. "I hate talking to mind readers,"
	"Plucky," began Shirley "I've noticed that Ollie seems to avoid
talking about his feelings and things that seem to be, like, emotional.
He's totally bummed out that Fifi's found someone to cuddle up to,"
	"But he worked so hard to get her a date, why is he sad?"
	"Because, Plucky, it isn't him anymore."

	Just then, somebody was banging on Shirley's mansion door.
She put the phone down and opened it, and to her horror she saw Fifi
frizzed up and twitching. She hadn't seen Fifi like that since they first
saw the One-Eyed Jack. She brought her freaked- out friend and sat her
down.
	"Fifi, like, what gives?" asked Shirley while she got her friend a
warm drink.
	Fifi, in her spastic way, began explaining what happened. "Y-
yakko was toooooo weird! Zat is i-it, he was, 'ow you say, off his
rocking ch-chair!"
	"Close enough," thought Shirley. "Like, say no more. Let's get
you spiffed up and over to Plucky's house."
	Fifi wasn't sure as to why she had to go to Plucky's, but she was
confused all over from last night with the Warners that she didn't really
care. She was walking up the stairs to Shirley's bathroom when Shirley
heard Plucky shouting over the phone. She rushed over to it and picked
it up.
	"Crazy loon! Where were you?" he shouted.
	"Sorry, Plucky, but Fifi's here,"
	There was a pause at the other end of the line, and then Plucky
asked quietly "Is she coming over?"
	"She's, taking a shower, er some junk. How's Ollie?"
	"He's doing the breast stroke. Earlier he had lapped the pond
three hundred times in eight minutes. Tell that skunk friend of yours to
hustle up before this guy does the high dive off of my house!" he
finished, hanging up the phone. Shirley was a bit angry, but before she
could do anything she saw Fifi come down the stairs with a towel on
her head.
	"Vhy are we going to Plucky's house?" asked Fifi, who was
drying her hair.
	"There's someone you totally need to talk to,"answered Shirley,
grabbing Fifi's wrist and pulling her to Plucky's. Fifi stopped and flipped
Shirley's grip away.
	"Ah do not zink I can face poor Oliver again. I hurt him so
much last night," she sighed. But Shirley paid no attention to Fifi. She
used her powers to lift Fifi into the air and they both floated full speed
to Plucky's.

	"... and then I saw her happy with Yakko. Of all people, she
was happy with Yakko!" complained Ollie. Plucky had allowed the
poor otter to pour his feelings out to him, but Plucky had heard all he
could take.
	"Sheesh, pally! I told you that you could share some pain with
me, but I didn't say you could tell me everything that's happened to you
since the LA Riot!"
	"Sorry," sighed Ollie. "I'm new at this emotions thing," But to
his surprise, Ollie saw Fifi fall from the sky and land with a splash into
the pond. Ollie dove in and when he came up he was holding Fifi in his
arms. Shirley floated down and appologized for her poor landing.
	"Hmph, you zink you are les sorry one..." thought Fifi. Then she
looked and saw that Ollie was holding her. She began to cry.
	"There, there, kid! You'll be alright! A little water never hurt
anybody!" joked Ollie. He swam to the bank and lifted Fifi out onto the
grass. He then went underwater and quickly lept out of it, like a
dolphin in the ocean. Fifi gasped.
	"Vhere did you learn how to do zat marvelous trick?"
	Ollie raised his fingers up to his left ear and griped the earing.
"A long time ago, somebody I was very close to taught me a few things
about swimming,"
	"Are they gonna kiss?" whispered Plucky to Shirley. She
nudged him in his side and then motioned for him to leave with her.
	"I think they, like, need to be alone, 'kay?"
	As the two crept away, Fifi asked about his earing. "Well, Fifi,
I've never told anybody this story before, but years ago, my family was
killed in an oil spill. We lived in Alaska at the time, and you may have
heard about the great Alaskan oil spill. Well, me and my family were
diving for fish when my father told me to go up to the fish shop to
collect the money the man owed us from the last load of fish we
brought in. You see, we made our living by supplying his store with
fish, squid, and other sea foods. Many otters in the area did it, and it
was good honest work."
	"About an hour later, I came back with the money, but when I
came to the beach, I dropped it in shock. The ocean was black with oil,
and the beach was littered with dead or dying animals. My father was
one of them.
	"Scared, I rushed to him. I asked him what had happened and
he told me a tanker not far from here had crashed into a huge rock,
spilling it's cargo; oil. My father reached into his pocket and pulled out
the family ring--"
	"Ze family ring?" asked Fifi.
	"It's a tradition that otters have. Every family has a ring, and it's
sorta like a family coat of arms. Anyway, my father gave me the ring
and told me this.
	"'Son, I want you to know that you will never be alone. You
mother, your sister, and I will always be close to you always. If you
ever feel like you haven't a friend in the world, let this ring remind you
that you'll always be loved by someone,' he said, as he handed me the
ring."
	"What happened next?" asked Fifi, with a small tear forming in
her eye.
	"Then he died."
	Fifi began to cry on Ollie's shoulders. She had no idea Ollie's
parents were dead, and she remembered many times reminding Ollie
that she had nobody to turn to, thinking he in fact did.
	"Hey, cheer up, sport! I'm not miserable. I moved down to
California a week after the incident in hopes of starting a new life, and I
did. My fur turned blonde from the sun, I enjoyed the warmer waters,
the people there are so interesting-- and I got my ring made into an
earing to fit in, ya know?"
	Fifi sniffed a little. "Seems to me vou have it as an earing so it
vill always be vith you, oiu?"
	Ollie didn't answer. He just sat down against a tree and sighed a
deep "Sigh."
	Fifi sat next to him and rested her head on his shoulder. Feeling
uneasy, Ollie stood up and walked over by the water's edge. He
stretched a little, and then jumped in. He started doing laps around the
pool again. Fifi could see his muscles rippling as he glided through the
water. She'd never really noticed it, but he was actually a very sturdy,
good looking young man.
	"Um, I am going home, I feel a little uneasy. If you do not
mind, could you tell Shirley zat I appreciate--" but Fifi noticed Ollie
wasn't listening, so she began to walk home.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

	When Fifi reached her house, it was four o' clock. It was a long
walk from Plucky's pond to down town Acme Acres, but she made it.
She'd stopped along the way to talk to Babs, but she wasn't much help
to Fifi. She was confused, and Babs was feasting on pixie sticks.
Whenever she asked about Ollie, Babs would reply with something like
"Take two eggs in the morning and you'll feel hunky-dorey at
daybreak!"
	As Fifi cleared junk off of her bed, she saw a piece of paper
with descriptions of guys on it. It was in Ollie's handwriting, she could
tell, but these were all descriptions that she came up with.
	"So zat is why he asked me what kind of guy I would like, ze
little boy! He tried to help me find a man by using ze descriptions I
gave him! 'Ow could I have not seen it before?"
	She began reading the list. "Not shy, humorous, sports lover, a
great person, good kisser..." she continued reading the list when she
came to the bottom. In parenthesies, it said "In a nutshell, Oliver old
boy, she wants a guy like you."
	Like a stone, it hit her. She dropped the paper and grabbed her
coat. She had to find Ollie. She opened the door and as she raced out,
she ran right into the guy she was looking for.
	"Whoa, slow down Fifi! Where are you off to in such a hurry?"
	Fifi smiled and clutched Ollie. He was a little surprised, but
before he could ask any questions, she kissed him. It was good and
long, and Ollie couldn't do much about it. At first he struggled, but then
he just let himself relax. Fifi let up and broke the lip lock.
	"Nice to see you too, sweetheart!" joked Ollie.
	"I know who I need, and it is vou. I vant nobody else but you,
my sweet Oliver,"
	Ollie sat up. "Why me?"
	Disappointed, Fifi backed away. "Oliver, do you not see it? You
have saved me, in every way a man can save a girl you have done so,"
	"Awe, now you're quoting that movie, ya know, the one with
the boat and--" he stopped. She was right. He'd saved her life, her
confidence, her love life-- everything. Even if it was a poor quote from
a box-office smash, it was true.
	"I love vou, Oliver,"
	"I, I love you, too."

	"Hey Ollie! Yo, ya left your shirt at my house!" shouted Plucky,
coming up the path to Fifi's. He stopped when he saw Fifi and Ollie in a
deep, long kiss. "Well, " he thought. "I guess everything's been patched
up between them."


	Ollie backed away from Fifi. He took out his earring and held it
in his paw, looking at it. Suddenly, he tossed it into a big pile of trash.
Fifi thought he'd gone insane. "Oliver! You will never find your ring
now!"
	He turned to face Fifi. He wasn't worried, but he was smiling.
"Fifi," he started, taking her hands, "I don't need it anymore."
	She was so touched by this that she didn't know what to do or
what to say. "I have not been zis confused since I dreamed I vas dating
Plucky Duck,-" (Plucky at this moment had dropped his jaw, for he was
still nearbye and was hearing every word.) "- but I hope, Oliver, I hope
wiz all mah heart zat zis is no dream."

	"Hold it right there!" interrupted Plucky. He threw Ollie's shirt
at him and grabbed Ollie's hand. "Put your shirt on and come with me.
You're spending the night at my house! I don't want you alone with her
for another second! This fanfic aint supposed to be TTBS, and as much
as I would like it to be TTBS, it is not going to turn into that!"
	Plucky grabbed Ollie and dragged him away. Ollie was so upset
with Plucky that he wanted to tear out his beak and stuff every feather
on his body into it. But even he had to admit that Plucky was probably
right about that TTBS stuff. So instead he waved Fifi good bye. She
blew him a kiss and walked daintily back inside her home. She moved
with such grace and she looked so beautiful to him that he melted into a
gooey puddle.
	"Hey, Ollie, you're getting a little light back there," shouted
Plucky as he dragged his liquid companion back to his place.




	It was Sunday when Fifi woke up. She felt so wonderful that
she had finally found true love that she couldn't wait to see Ollie again.
	She skipped out of her car wearing her cheerleading uniform
(which seemed to catch many boys' attention) when she stumbled apon
a letter. She opened it with care and read it.
	"To my dearest Fifi,
	                         It is Oliver. I tried to call you last night, but the
duck patrol here wouldn't let me get near the phone. So I wrote you
this, it's a goodbye letter-"

  Fifi seemed to just freeze. She stood stiffly, holding the letter, with the
only movement being a tear trickeling down her cheek. "I thought he
loved me," she sighed to herself. She looked back at the letter.

	"But don't think I don't love you. I have a world of my own in
LA, and you can't possibly understand it. Therefore, I'll save us the
trouble and just say this. I do, I love you more than anything-- the stars,
the sky, the moon, even the ocean, blue and gentle. I love you more
than anything else dear to me. I hope you can see that, and I hope you
never forget it. I know I won't."

	She clutched the letter close to her heart. He did still love her.
She read the last line of the note, and she read it aloud.

	"Sincerely yours forever,
	Oliver"


THE END