"Dial 'O' For Oddimals" by Zucccini@aol.com TTA characters and any others, most likely, are copyright Warner Bros. I wrote this, I get no money, yada yada. Oh, Oddimals are copyright me. If you want to use 'em in a story, fine, but tell me first : ) _________________________________________________________ "Show Goes Animani-ax," read Buster Bunny aloud. "Gee, looks like WB shut down yet another show." Babs nodded as she filed her nails. "Almost a pity. That Dot kid had one swell voice." "Hmph," muttered Plucky as he snatched the Varietoon out of Buster's paws. "Check this, you guys. 'Mice Got Nice, TTA Elmyra Mix With Trix'. They've added Elmyra to that Pinky and the Brain show!" Buster and Babs laughed. "Good one Plucky!" Before Plucky could correct them, Shirley walked up to the group. "Like, hi! Great morning, huh? Have you heard about Elmyra? She, like, got a job, or some junk." The two bunnies frowned as Plucky gave them each a raspberry. It had been so long since any of the toons at Acme Loo had gotten a job. They remained young only because a nice network called Nickelodeon ran their re-runs on a good timeslot. Warner Bros had, for the most part, ignored them. Now that Animaniacs had gotten canceled, they knew they would never be on as a cameo for a long time. As though it had been rehearsed, the group all let out one deep sigh at the same time. "We might as well face it, guys, we're never gonna be back in show business." Babs muttered. The group agreed. They all got up and walked to school. * * * * * "Now class," began Bugs as the students filed into the classroom. "I hope you had a good weekend, but before we discuss de reports on 'Comical Comebacks' you all did-" "All except _me_..." thought Plucky. "-I have a short announcement." Bugs reached inside a drawer in his desk and pulled out a note. He cleared his throat and eyed the class. They were all so talented and had proven to be worthy of the name "Warner Bros.", but the Big Boys wouldn't give them the time of day. "Class, Animaniacs has been canceled-" Bugs paused while the class gasped in shock. Some of the toons knew it had to come some day, but it was still rather sudden. When the clamor died down, he began again. "Warner Brodders wants to see some quality entertainment come outta dis school. If we can't come up with a handful of new characters, dis school is cartoon history!" As the classroom echoed with questions, Buster Bunny raised a paw. "But Bugs, WB doesn't want Tiny Toons, they want Zany Toons. The Looniversity doesn't have the type of characters to satisfy Warner execs." Bugs raised his paws and the class went silent. "Dat's a good point dere, Buster. But I've already t'ought of dat. The faculty and I got together and discussed things over carrot cake da odder week. It was our decision to import six young toons from Brazil." "Brazil?!? What the--" shouted Plucky. Before he could finish, Bugs had again silenced the class. He eyed Plucky and the duck slumped down in his seat. "If we can turn dese 'exchange toons' into kick-tail characters, da school won't close. I want six students to work wit dese guys. I want dem to be extra nice to dese fellows and pleasurable to work wid," Bugs reached in his pocket and pulled out a carrot. He looked it over pondering. The class knew Bugs was actually thinking of which students to choose. Every toon in the room gulped when Bugs looked up and took a deep breath. "Buster, I definitely want you to head da group, Mr. Student Body President. Babs, show dem da ropes. Furrball, I can see use for you here, along with Hamton, Fifi, and--" Bugs looked around and spotted Plucky sleeping on his desk. "--and Plucky,"-Plucky jumped a little when he heard his name- "Plucky will be da final member of da team." Plucky groaned and looked at Buster. He and the rest of the toons chosen all had the same expressions; "Why me?" * * * * * * * "Like, I feel so totally bad!" cried Shirley. "I should have volunteered!" "Eh, it aint your fault, Shirl'," comforted Plucky. "But I'll except your apology tonight at my place if you'd like!" Shirley pulled behind her back a pair of cymbals and smashed them together on Plucky's head. "Vell, Ah am, 'ow you say, flabbergasted!" exclaimed Fifi. "Why would he ever choose moi?" "First off, nobody says 'flabbergasted'," began Babs. "Second of all, who are these guys? I mean, why can't _we_ work on our own show?" Buster stood up. "We're has-beens. WB doesn't want washed up toons. They want new stars!" "They keep recycling Pinky and the Brain," The group laughed a little at Babs's remark. Suddenly, Plucky let out a yell. "Hey! What are you doing!" he shouted. As the gang turned, they saw Plucky rolling on the ground with a fuzzy green boa wrapped around his neck. They all pulled it off and to their amazement, a little fox-like animal smiled back at them. She waved her paw and pointed towards Plucky. "I'm sorry," she said. "Was that seat taken?" Plucky scrambled up and opened his mouth to say something when a brown bat flew right into his face. He peeled the animal off and a small bat with a long tail and bucked teeth smiled warily at him. "I n- need to work on m-my landings, huh?" The green fox hopped out of Buster and Hamton's arms and rubbed against Plucky's leg. She then jumped up on top of the bench the toons were sitting on before her arrival and licked her paw. "Excuse me if I seem to come on a little strong." "Zuccini! Wait for us!" came a shout not to far away. Up ran a panting dog-like animal. He shook himself awake when he saw Babs. "On second thought, run on up ahead, I have matters to take care of!" Babs whirled into a Mae West impression. "Hiya, big boy! Why don't you come down and see me some time?" "Boomer, where's Zuccini? Has she gotten us lost _again_?" The gang turned and saw a white rabbit hop up their way. A peculiar trait she had was her tail stuck out much further than a rabbit's. Buster and Hamton looked over and bulged their eyes out. They started drooling all over the ground and panting. The others looked and saw a beautiful aqua colored otter stroll up to them, with each move swinging her hips right and left. Buster started thumping. "Well, it seems now-a-days a girl can't even go out for a walk without a couple of droolers hangin' about." She went up to him and shut his mouth with her finger and winked. Babs just rolled her eyes. She then noticed a gray animal with a maroon colored cap coming their way. When he got to them, he smiled bashfully and stood over next to the green fox thing. He smiled again and said a quiet "H'lo." The Tiny Toons stepped back and looked at these odd animals. They didn't know who they were or where they were from, but they really didn't want to find out. So as they started to slip away, Bugs came up and stopped them. "I see yous kids has met the oddimals." The toons just looked bewildered. "Oddimals?" Bugs nodded and they looked back. The handful of misfits gave them a big toothy grin. Buster spoke to Bugs. "You can't be serious! These guys are, are--" "Looney?" figured the old rabbit. He smiled at Buster. Buster turned and shrugged to his comrades as Bugs walked away. As Buster turned to his Tiny Toon pals, Boomer stepped up to the rabbit. "Ya know," he said. " We aint as bad as we look. Well, Zuccini is--" the little fox thing smiled a toothy grin Buster's way. Boomer continued. " Give us a week, show us the ropes, and I guarantee you'll be surprised." "That's what I'm afraid of," whispered Plucky to Babs. * * * * * * * * * * * "Okay, Boomer, what do you know?" asked Buster as he and the dog walked to Buster's hole. He had wanted to talk to him and get to the guy. He seemed a natural leader and the obvious choice for these new characters. "I know the difference between real butter and I Can't Believe It's Not Butter." he replied. Buster stopped walking and turned to face his new friend. Boomer was a gold-colored animal that was part dog and part wombat. His ears were brown and flopped over like Hamton's and his tail was like Calamity's. He wore a blue vest that was unbuttoned exposing his stomach and chest. His muzzle was broad but fairly short and his nose was the same color as Buster's. He wore sneakers the same color as his vest and a pair of white gloves. His voice reminded Buster of Foxy's from Toon-Tone Town, only with an Australian accent. "That's silly, Boomer, _nobody_ can tell the difference! Now c'mon, my burrow is right over there." Inside, Buster showed Boomer his room. "Hey, Buster, who's this?' asked Boomer. He held up a picture of Babs and Buster as kids eating ice cream. "Oh, well that's Babs and me when we were three. Weren't we cute?" "You wore a diaper at age three?" Buster snatched the photo away. "all right, Boomer, you got a lot to learn. What are you good at?" "Lot's of things. Sports, girls, sleeping, girls, debate, girls--" Buster stopped him. "You say debate?" The dog nodded. "Think you can do much good at comebacks?" Boomer thought a bit. "Yeah, I suppose." "Okay, then, I'm going to say something and I want you to respond in a way that'll make me look stupid. Got it?" "Got it." "Good. First one." Buster cleared his throat and began. "Somebody's playing a cd player really loud. They then ask you 'got a problem with my music?' What do you say?" "No, I got a problem with the bonehead playing the music?" "Try again." "I can't hear you over the sound of that cat being ground up in that tractor over in the other room?" "Not bad." "No, I have a problem with that portable trash compactor you're carrying." "Nice!" complemented Buster. "I'd like to practice a little more, but I unfortunately have to get a few things and run to the library. Homework." "If you have to go, why did you bring me down here?" asked Boomer. "I figured you could use a break. Besides, I don't know what else to do with ya." Buster grabbed his books and walked towards his burrow entrance. Boomer stopped him. "I suggest you get Zuccini to help you out with that work. You won't need any books with her help." Buster just rolled his eyes as he walked up and out of his hole. He didn't believe Zuccini could help him with Toon Physics. He laughed a little as he walked to the library to meet his study partner, Plucky. * * * * * "Why won't you leave me alone?" asked Plucky. But his admirer just grinned. "I can't help it!" replied Zuccini. "I'm attracted to waterfowl!" Plucky looked across the table at his little fan. Zuccini had green fur that was lighter than his, almost yellow-green. Her ears were floppy and similar to the Animaniacs's Warner brothers. Her belly was light yellow and came up to her eyes. Like Mickey Mouse, she had her face the color of her stomach with ears and the back of her head the color of her body. Her eyes were gorgeous, having pretty lashes and large pupils. The iris was emerald and they sparkled as she stared dreamily at him. Her nose was black and her snout wasn't long nor short, just sort of there, and her lip wasn't split like a rabbit's. Her fingers and palms were light yellow and so were her toes. She had somewhat long legs for an animal her size, maybe Furrball's size. Her tail was long and bushy like a fox tail with a light yellow tip. She was, in a way, beautiful-- not sexy-- but pretty. Plucky looked away. "Whatcha got there?" she asked. Plucky looked at his physics homework and sighed. "Something for school." "Lemme see." Zuccini, or Zuzu as her friends called her, grabbed the paper and read it to herself. She grabbed a pencil and began working on the problems. In five minutes, every answer was solved. She handed the paper back to Plucky, who looked baffled at the sheet. "How did you do that?" Smiling, Zuzu replied, "It's a toon thing." Plucky couldn't help but smile. Maybe this group of oddimals would prove to be a worthy bunch of cartoon characters. "So, Zuccini, where'd the name come from?" "My best friend Bandit gave it to me. He said I looked like one." "Oh?" "Yeah, he's a sweet little guy. I could tell you the whole story, but I don't want to bore ya." "I see." Zuccini cleared away the junk on the table and jumped on top of it. She spun around like Babs would do and stopped in a skin tight emerald dress that glittered. She stood on her tip-toes in high heels. Her ears sort of morphed to hair that flopped over her right eye and gave her a very seductive look. I'd go into more detail on her figure, but let's just say she looked something like Jessica Rabbit. Plucky's eyes lit up and his mouth dropped. "You're not _bored_, are you?" asked Zuzu, stretching her leg out under Plucky's bill. He flipped in his seat. Plucky bounced around the library in a love-sick fashion, hitting book cases and tables and librarians. He bounced back into his chair with his heart pounding and sighed at Zuccini. "No..." he got out. Zuzu raised his head and sort of batted her lashes. She whispered into his ear a slow, soft "Good." She turned around and began slipping the dress off. Plucky turned into a lighted firecracker and flew out the door in excitement. Zuzu turned around and saw he was gone. The dress was off, her ears were back to normal, and the heels had been kicked away. She was back to normal. "Gee, I wonder were that silly duck went." she thought. Buster walked through the doors that instant and hopped over to her table. "Where's Plucky?" he asked. "I was supposed to meet him here. We have lots of work to do that may take hours to finish." "Awe, ya just missed him," she replied. She layed down on the table and batted her lashes. "I guess he had to blow." Buster looked at Plucky's paper and saw the answers were all filled out. "Whoa, did he do this?" "Nah, I did. Check 'em if you want, they're all right." Buster was just as shocked as Plucky was. "Oh man! You really ARE a genius!" "I know," she replied, with little care. * * * * * * ** Back at Buster's, Boomer was just turning on the radio when Plucky flew in. He fluttered around a bit and landed on the bed with a sigh. "I think she likes me," he sighed. "Who?" asked Boomer. Plucky sat up. "Where's Buster?" "He's gone to meet you," replied Boomer as he adjusted the tuner to a station he liked. "Now who likes you?" "Zuccini," Boomer froze. His ears stiffened and his paws clenched to form a fist. A song by Three Dog Night came on and the stereo blared 'One Is the Loneliest Number'. Boomer turned to Plucky and looked coldly at him. "What makes you say that?" "She got sexy for me!" he sighed. He was surprised to hear Boomer laugh. "Ah, she does that to everybody. Don't get me wrong, she's no flirt, but occasionally, she 'just can't help herself'." Plucky frowned in disappointment as the radio played the song. "...One is the loneliest number that you ever knew..." "Wanna carrot soda?" "Ewww! No thanks!" "Sorry. It's all Buster's got." "Tell me about it. That rabbit's got a craving for carrots that puts Bugs Bunny to shame." Just then, who should pop his furry lil' head down the hole but Buster Bunny. "So sue me, I'm a hare, what'd you expect?" As he hopped in, Zuccini followed. "We figured we'd find you here." She glanced over to Plucky and gave him a quick wink. He blushed a little and hid his head under a pillow. Boomer rolled his eyes. "You and your waterfowl." "Hey you guys, we're gonna go see how the girls are doing with Aurora and Olivia. Wanna come?" * * * * * * * * * Babs, Fifi, and Shirley had all taken the two other oddimal girls out to the Acme Mega Mall. Olivia had a load of cash and paid for everything the girls wanted. "Man! You're richer than Monty, Olivia!" exclaimed Babs as they sat down in the food court for a quick bite. "Where'd you get all this dough?" Olivia slurped a little at her soda and then set it down. "Well, I _am_ royalty." Shirley dropped her tofu burger. "No way! I had, like, no idea you were a princess!" Fifi was rather envious of Olivia. She peeked over her bagel and gleamed at her. Olivia was a beautiful otter. She had aqua colored fur with pink breast and belly. She wore a pink headband on her head and had a thick head of hair, but it was cut short so that it hung just below her ear. Her bangs hung similar to Fifi's over one eye. Her eyes were mulberry in color and she had long, thick lashes. Her nose was small and pink. She had a short muzzle and her bottom lip was pink. She was slimmer than Fifi and her legs were slightly longer and more shapely. Fifi's chest was fluffy, but Olivia's was smooth and slightly more formed. If you were to cross Minerva Mink with Fifi LaFume, you'd get an idea of what Olivia's body would be like. "Hey, Shirley, is that tofu?" asked Olivia, pointing at the loon's burger. Fifi squeezed her bagel and it crumbled. Even her voice was sexy. Olivia sounded something like Margo Mallard and Rubella Rat mixed. If this was an actual show, the great Kath Soucie would probably have lended her voice for Olivia. "Hey, Fifi, are you okay?" asked Aurora. Fifi nodded. She really liked Aurora. She wasn't competition, as Olivia was. Instead, the bunny/ wolverine hybrid was cute. Dot Warner would have had a tough time competing, but Fifi had nothing to fear. Aurora was all white except for her eyes and the distinctive blonde wolverine strip that led from her bangs to her tail. Her hair was like Lola Bunny's but bouncier. Her tail was that of a wolverines; medium sized, fluffy, and slightly curled. She wore a lavender jumper and a bow on her head to match. Her feet were as big as any rabbit she knew and her cheeks were as fluffy as any, too. She had pretty blue eyes, but instead of having just a blue iris, her pupil and iris seemed connected and was all blue, like how Buster's is all black. Her nose was small and white and she had a rabbit's buck tooth. Her ears weren't nearly as long as Babs's and instead of sticking strait up, they hung back behind her bow. She was cute as a button. "Like, wow! I didn't know you liked tofu, too!" exclaimed Shirley as she noticed Olivia's salad was seaweed. "Yeah, well, we otters seem to go for anything from under the sea." At this, Olivia pulled down a scenery of the ocean bottom. She whirled around and appeared in a mermaid outfit. Her hair became long and flowing and she began to sing. "Down here all the fish is happy, which makes for a real nice snack! They is all nice and crunchy. But fun is what they seem to lack. I came up to the land of no sea, and joined all the oddimals. And as you will all soon see-" "You is sure full of bull," finished Aurora. She pulled up the backdrop and Olivia went back to her normal self. Babs clapped. "So, what did ya think?" asked the pleased marine mammal. "You have a great voice!" exclaimed Babs. It was true. Olivia sang very nicely. Fifi got up at about this time. "If vou don't mind, I zink I shall leave. Mon welcome has been worn." She walked away from the table and exited the mall. Olivia shrugged. "I don't know what her problem was." "Yeah," added Aurora. "And what was she talking about? She doesn't wear anything..." * * * * * * * * "Now, Bandit, are you sure you've cooked before?" The little guy nodded stupidly and Hamton smiled. He handed him a chef's hat and Bandit got out some cake mix. He poured, stirred, and baked. In less time it takes Hamton, Bandit had a cake. "Wow! You sure _can_ bake!" exclaimed the little pig. He stuck his finger inside the icing mix Bandit had made and licked it. "Mmm, my favorite!" "Cheesecake ala strawberry, my own recipe," noted Bandit. Bandit was a cross between opossum and raccoon. He had gray fur with a brown band around his collar, wrists, ankles, and ears. His eyes were masked like a raccoons in brown and his tail, though bare, also had several little rings. His nose was bright red and he wore a raspberry colored cap. It wasn't a ball cap, more like a cap a kid would wear in 1920. He spoke with a cute British accent and laughed a little like Hamton. "Where do we meet the others?" asked the little hybrid. "Weenie Burger. It's a fast food joint." "Spew!" At that moment, a small brown squirrel stepped in. "Hey! That's my line!" * * * * * * * * "Le boo, le hoo, le boo hoo!" sobbed Fifi. She was crying alone on a park bench when a familiar figure walked up. "So, I see you've met Olivia," he said. Fifi looked up. It was Boomer. "It's okay, kiddo, she does that to everybody. There was this gal named Judy. Now, at this time, she was--" "Do you zink Ah am pretty?" asked the skunkette. Boomer sat down next to her. "You bet." "Prettier than Olivia?" Boomer sighed. "That's a toughie. Ol' has some smooth curves, but I think you're cuter." "Really? Zis is not some joke?" "Nah, no joke. I see Ol' every day. She doesn't faze me a bit. Maybe she used too, but I have my sights set on somebody more... intelligent." "Who?" Boomer stared at his blue shoes. He felt really awkward, but he straightened up and whispered to Fifi who he liked. "Vou like Zu--" "Shh," shushed the dog. "Yeah, I like her. Don't spread it around, though. I know she doesn't like me that way." "Maybe she does." "No, no, no. Zuzu doesn't go for mushy love stuff. I really ought to find somebody that does. I'm quite the romancer, it's in my blood." Fifi smiled a seductive grin. She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. "Zat's funny, because I most certainly like eet." * * * * * * * * Later on, the gang assembled at Weenie Burger. Everybody was there except Furrball and Jinx... "Where are those two?" thought Aurora aloud. :::Somewhere in an alley far away::: "Now now, Mr. Kitty. You don't want to eat me," cringed the helpless bat. Furrball approached him. "C'mon, now, uh, d-don't you want a nice j-juicy b-b-bird instead?" Furrball continued to salivate. He took out a salt shaker and sprinkled it on Jinx. He licked his lips as he stared at his prey. Jinx was a small bat that had dark brown wings, ears, and a dark brown tuft of fur on the tip of his bare rat tail. His stomach, cheeks, feet, and muzzle were peach, like his tail. He had large, frightened eyes, and the part that's normally white was yellow. His fur was a brown color and he wore a little red bandanna around his neck with the ties in front. He kept his wings folded behind his back and slouched when he walked. Like rats have, he had a large buck tooth that was always prominent. He was a pitiful creature. "Oh, fine," thought Jinx. He undid his bandanna and tied it around his eyes as a blindfold. "Good-bye, cruel world. It was rotten on earth, but I suppose the afterlife is a better place for us defenseless, pitiful creatures anyways." Furrball stopped drooling and raised Jinx up to his face. The little guy was still blindfolded and quivering from fear. Furrball felt his eyes get moist. He, too, was an unloved, pitiful soul left to wander aimlessly. He set the little creature down and began sobbing. "Awe, the world does you no justice either, huh?" Jinx said as he raised his bandanna. Furrball, with salty cheeks, meowed an "Uh-huh." "It's a conspiracy." They both clutched each other and shook with fear. ::: back at Weenie Burger:::: "Oh no," grumbled Babs. "Look who's here." The group turned to see Montana Max enter with Dizzy Devil and Calamity Coyote. He walked by the table and laughed. "Hey look! It's the no-money bunnies and their friends, the Wuzzles!" Calamity and Dizzy laughed. "Hey!" shouted Boomer. "Nobody compares us to Disney programming and gets away with it!" Monty smirked. "Oh, what's the big tough dog gonna do about it?" "C'mon, Boomer," settled Buster. "Let's not get into any fights." "What's the matter? I can take him!" shouted Aurora. The Tiny Toons all laughed. "Okay, rabbit. You want your chance? Fine. Your best man against our best man," Then Monty laughed. "Or in this case, your best bunny." Olivia, Zuccini, Boomer, and Bandit gasped and stared at Aurora. Her fur turned to bright red and her eyes glowed. Her ears stood straight up and she clutched her fists. Plucky leaned over to Zuzu. "What's going on?" he asked, cautiously. Zuzu ignored him and started to tremble. Aurora lept up onto the table and when she landed it shook like an earthquake had hit. Her teeth, which were actually quite sharp, were showing as she growled. Her cute body began to ripple with muscles and she inhaled and exhaled with such force it shook the group. Monty didn't look the least intimidated. "Ooh, what are you going to do? Breath your big bad carrot breath on me?" The enraged oddimal hopped in front of Monty. She lifted him up by the collar of his jacket and slammed him against the window. _Now_ Monty was scared. "If you _ever_ call me a bunny again, I'll pull out your tonsils and use them as a sponge to seep up all the sap in your head as I crush it with my bare hands!" She squeezed his neck to emphasize her words. Monty cried out hoarsely. "Arnold..." A huge white pit bull entered the restaurant and approached Aurora. Bandit and Hamton dove under the table. Boomer and Zuccini hugged in fear. Babs, Buster, Plucky, and Shirley all had confused looks. "You called for me, yah?" asked the pit bull. Monty nodded. "Crush the rabbit!" he whimpered. Arnold cracked his knuckles and peered down at Aurora. He sneered. "Hear me now und see me later! I vill crush you, you peunee veekling!" Aurora turned around, dropping a gasping Montana Max on the ground. She was about to say something, then stopped. "Yayaa, Big Boy! What a man!" Olivia peered over at the Austrian hunk. "My!" she thought. "He _is_ a big boy!" Arnold was startled. "Vhat are you doing? You crazy, eh, vhatever you are!" "Another man from the old country! Kiss me, hunk!" exclaimed Aurora. Buster leaned over to Olivia. "What's the deal?" Olivia looked over to the blue bunny. "Well, Aurora has a thing for European carnivores with big muscles. He'll be fine, unless he calls her--" "You crazy BUNNY!" exclaimed Arnold. Aurora stopped chasing him and froze. She started to foam and steam at the ears. Her muscles showed again and her eyes flashed red. Arnold stopped to catch his breath. "Well, looks like that little brat Montana is going to have to find another body guard," said Olivia. Buster and Babs just glanced at each other, both confused. Suddenly, Aurora leaped at Arnold and flung him onto the ground. She took hold of his neck and started to squeeze it with all her might. Arnold turned blue in the face, but before he could cry for help, a cloud of dust formed where Aurora was. It formed on Arnold now and you could occasionally see Aurora's head pop out with her viscious teeth. Plucky cringed at the sound of Arnold screaming with pain. Buster and Babs joined Hamton and Bandit under the table and Shirley froze with horror. The oddimals just sat eating their food. When Aurora stopped bashing Arnold, the cloud disappeared and Arnold sat on the ground, a puddle of wounds. His glasses had broken along with every bone in his body. Aurora stepped lightly off of him and as she walked over to her booth, she turned back and whispered, "Don't _ever_ call me 'bunny', 'kay?" * * * * * * * * * Montana Max had managed to slip away with his life. He, Dizzy, and Calamity had trotted off to somebody's house to ask of a request... "Hello, Monty-wonty! Now, what can I get you, snugglebear?" asked Elmyra as Monty entered her house. He saw dozens of cages with poor unfortunate animals hiding behind their bars. Calamity and Dizzy sat shaking in the doorway. "All right, you hairbrains! You can go home!" When Monty dismissed them, Calamity and Dizzy took off down the road. They didn't want to stay around Elmyra's house any longer! "Look, Elmyra, I got a small favor-- stop messing with my hair!" screamed Monty. Elmyra put her comb back in her pocket. "Tee hee! Sorry, honey. I just wanted to fix up your hair! It's _so_ messy!" Monty shuttered. "Yeah, yeah. Anyways, there are these animals and--" "Oooooh! Animals for me to love and to squeeze?" exclaimed Elmyra. "Uh, yeah, animals for you to squeeze. Tomorrow at school, you can--" "Fuzzy-wuzzy heads for me to play with and love and perform experiments on!" Elmyra clapped and jumped up in down with joy. "Meet me at the monkey bars at school tomorrow after lunch. I'll be there with your, uh, 'fuzzy wuzzy heads'," Monty told Elmyra. She agreed and he ran home before she could grab him for a nice little squeeze. * * * * * * * * * The next day at school had been rather interesting for the oddimals. They had, of course, never been to school and this was a whole new experience for them. "Wow! Is that Bugs Bunny?" shouted Zuzu. When Buster nodded, she rushed over to him. "Bugs! Hi! Where's Lola? Are you two gonna get married? Is there gonna be a Bugs Bunny show? Daffy's getting a show. Is Daffy single? Would he ever go for me? Do my ears look okay? Did you know I'm over a million years old? This is a nice school! Did you build it yourself? I had coffee today. Not a bright thing to do, huh? Hello." Bugs blinked with astonishment. He didn't know what to say. "Neh, what's up, doc?" Zuzu smiled. "That's all I wanted to hear! Thanks!" She hopped away and Bugs walked on, puzzled. At lunch time, Zuccini and Plucky were quietly talking. They had sat away from the others to try to get to know each other better. "So, Zuzu, what's the most irresistible feature about me, my stunning profile or my lovable self?" asked Plucky. Zuzu just sorta glanced at Boomer. He and Fifi were sharing an ice-cream sundae. She sighed. "I do so love ice-cream." she said. "You don't miss Boomer, do you?" She turned to Plucky. "No, I like ice-cream. Be a doll and get me some." Plucky nodded and went to get her a shake. She did miss Boomer, but not the way you would think. She liked arguing with him, and they hadn't fought once this whole trip. When Plucky returned, she grabbed the shake and slurped eagerly. Plucky frowned and looked at her tray. She had eaten most of the cafeterias food. "You sure do eat a lot," Plucky pointed out. Zuccini looked up from her shake. "Well, I _have_ been frozen in a block of ice most of my life, so yeah, a girl does get kinda hungry." Plucky raised his hands to show no offense and Zuzu smiled to show none was taken. She then explained how she got frozen in the first place. "Wow, millions of years in ice. So what are you, like, the first mammal on earth?" She nodded. "One of them. I'm not sure what order I belong to. We just say 'Category Other', or 'C.O'. It's easier on us." She then took out a sign from nowhere and held it up. "Http://members.aol.com/Oddimals" She took it away and grinned. "Heh heh, plug." Fifi and Boomer were getting along nicely. He didn't mind her smell and she didn't mind his odd appearance. "You know, I do so love your accent!" she smiled to him. "My accent? I like yours!" he replied. Fifi giggled. "I also like your sense of humor," He gently kissed her on the cheek and she held him closer. "Yeah, well, I'm not always funny. Not when I was with Zuzu. No, she was the funny one then." Fifi frowned a little. "You still like her, don't you?" she asked. "Maybe just a little. I mean, well, you know," he replied as best he could. The lovely skunk stepped away from Boomer. "Perhaps I cannot compete. I really should stick to mon own kind, nov?" Boomer got up to follow her as she walked out of the cafeteria but just sat back down. He did miss Zuzu, and he loved her more than Fifi. But he really wanted to go somewhere with that skunkette; she was nice, lovable, gorgeous, and had a great voice. Boomer began to sing to himself. "Gee, look at me, I'm caught between two, should I go for Fifi, or stick with Zuzu? I know Fifi likes me more, She probably always will. And she certainly aint a bore, I'd get further with her, but still... I love Zuccini's walk, I love how she talks. I love her innocent smile, though she's no queen of the Nile, I really can't tell, if we go too well. I'm so confused! Who should I choose?" Shirley stepped up to Boomer and patted him on the back. "Like, go with your feelings, dude! Let it be your guide!" Music began to play. It was old Native American music with somebody in the background singing. Boomer turned and saw Olivia singing. "Kway, kway, not too fast, you will understand!" She repeated this as Shirley began to sing. "Like, listen with your heart, you will understand! Push away your mind, you will totally understand! Let it break apon you, like an anvil on your head! Block away your mind, use your heart instead! Totally!" Shirley was then hauled off the school grounds by some guys from Disney. Boomer looked confused at Olivia. She nodded. "You know what to do!" Boomer was about to rush out after Fifi, but Monty stepped in his way. "Watch it, ya dumb mutt!" Monty walked on Boomer over to a table and took out his lunch. He began furiously eating it as if in a hurry. But as he tried to take a sip from his soda, he coughed and sputtered. Out of the soda came Zuccini with a scuba mask on. "I hate getting wet!" she exclaimed. She reached back in his drink and pulled out her shake. "What are you, anyways?" asked Monty as he wiped his face off. "I'll give you a hint," she replied. She took a big, long sip of her shake until her cheeks were filled with vanilla ice-cream. She set her drink down and put her two pointing fingers to her cheeks. With a huge amount of force, she pushed in and her drink went all over Monty. "I'm a zit! Get it?" The cafeteria roared with laughter as Monty wiped away her "visual". He gritted his teeth and stared t her. She smiled at him with an angelic look. "Look, you, do you know who you're dealing with?" "Sure, a maladjusted brat with a loaded wallet and an empty head. Why?" Again the room howled. Monty growled at Zuccini. "Are you gonna eat that?" she asked, pointing at his shake covered sandwich. Monty raised his arms as if to catch Zuzu but she took off like a bullet. She reached her hand back to grab Monty's food and then raced off again with Monty trailing far behind. They raced out of the cafeteria and around the nearby playground and training area. Zuccini, who was just a green blur, raced around the monkey bars. Elmyra was sitting by the monkey bars when she felt the wind from Zuccini. "Goodness! What was that?" She forgot what she said when she saw Monty race up to her. She grabbed him and hugged him. "Stop it, stop it, stop it!" he shouted. He gagged as Elmyra squeezed him. "Monty, baby, you almost set off the trap I made." Monty looked confused. "What trap?" At that moment, all the oddimals came out to look for Zuccini. Suddenly, a cage popped up out of nowhere and captured the five. They all screamed and struggled to get out, but it was no use. "That trap," smiled Elmyra coyly. Monty laughed. :::::::::::::::What will happen to our friends? Will Elmyra squeeze them to death? Will she love them to pieces? And will Sneezer ever get a tissue? Find out next week in "Trapped Like Oddimals" or "Hmm, That's Odd!":::::::::::::::: "Nah, we wouldn't leave ya hangin' like that!" assured Zuzu. She skipped over to the bleachers to watch Elmyra take the cage with her friends inside on her bus to go home. Monty climbed onto his own bus and drove home. Zuccini thought a moment. "I guess this means it's up to me to do something heroic and clever to save my friends. Fair enough." Back inside the cafeteria, the gang, minus Shirley, was all sitting and eating their lunches. "Gee, I wonder where those newbies went," thought Babs. "Yeah, I haven't seen hide nor hair of 'em since they all ran out to look for Zuccini," Buster said. "I hope nothing bad happened to 'em." At that moment, Zuccini walked by and overheard their conversation. "Oh, they've been kidnapped by Elmyra and hauled off to her house in a stainless steel cage. I love stainless steel. It's so... stainless." The others gasped. Oh no! Not Elmyra's! What a catastrophe! "Oh, mon poor Boomer. He must think moi horrible, nov?" mourned Fifi. Babs patted her on the back. "Don't worry, Feef. We'll get him back, and the others! Zuccini, ya with us?" But Zuzu was already out the door. No matter, they thought. Besides, nobody really thought that little gal could do much. They all gathered together to plan an elaborate method of retrieving their buddies. * * * * * * "So, Maximillion, tell me, what exactly are you planning on doing with these, what do you call them? Oddimals?" "Well, I figured I'd sell them to the Exotic Circus for about a million bucks. Swell huh?" replied Monty. The woman he had been talking to nodded her head. She had a fluffy green tail and a small black nose and large emerald eyes. It was, no doubt, Zuccini. "Oh, ingenious, Max! Can I call you 'Max'? Splendid!" she said in a snooty voice. She was wearing a blonde wig, business suit and skirt and high heels. "But you know, I'd offer you ten million bucks for them if you gave them to me." Monty's eyes did a bizarre dance around his head and then flashed dollar bill signs. "Uh, well, that would be negotiable!" "Splendid, Max, simply mah-rvelous! When can I pick them up?" Zuzu smiled. * * * * * "Okay, team, you know the plan," whispered Babs to Hamton, Fifi, Plucky, and Buster. They were all wearing ninja costumes and had huddled outside Elmyra's house. "All right, break!" The group split up in an array of flips and somersaults. Babs landed at the front door and spun around into a business woman's attire. She rang the doorbell and Elmyra answered. "Yes?" "Hello, there, miss. My name is Barbara Wallace and I'm hoping you're interested in animals." "Oooh, you bet! I love and squeeze them and--" "Spare me the details. But getting to the point, I want to inform you of the many bad things happening to animals today..." As Babs spoke to the dimwitted dork, the others slipped in to search for Aurora, Olivia, Bandit, Boomer, and Jinx. "Gee, do you think Fifi hates me?" asked Boomer. "Yes," they all replied. Boomer hung his head. "I like shinies," spoke up Bandit. He twisted one of the bars on the cage in order to make it shine and glimmer. "I can see that," put in Olivia. She had been cool and relaxed up until then. She grabbed the little bat next to her and shook Jinx rapidly. "This is your fault, you unlucky little hairball with wings!" "Olivia, calm down!" commanded Aurora. She grabbed her friend and shook her a bit. "But look at my hair! It's frizzing up! And it's collecting otter oils! I need water! I have to swim! Must groom! Is there a beautician in the house?!?!?!?!" The gang jumped on the panic striken mustelid to keep her quiet. She panicked and then settled. "Don't worry, Olivia, my sweet. I still think you're the most beautiful creature on earth... even with your hair frizzled." Olivia looked at Bandit as he said this. She sighed and sat down next to Boomer. "Why didn't I stay as a princess? Why?" Boomer shrugged his shoulders showing he had no clue and Olivia rolled her eyes. "D-do you think we'll e-ever get out of here?" asked Jinx. "You always look at the bad things that happen. Think of the positives of today! The pros, not the cons," suggested Aurora. She had remained sweet while most everyone else paced endlessly. Even Boomer, who normally remained cool in such conditions, was worried. "What positives? We're stuck in a cage in Elmyra's house." "At least we're together." "Zuccini's missing," "Well, that minor part. We're all happy..." Olivia laughed at Aurora's remark about everybody's morale. "Face it, hon'. This is like Hell but only half as cozy. We've been stuck here for almost forty five minutes and already I'm about to kill each and every one of you!" She glanced over to Bandit as he played with one of the bars. "And I'll get rid of bar boy first!" Bandit, startled, jumped back, still grasping the metal in his paw. The mesh broke and there before them was a hole big enough to fit through. Olivia's jaw dropped. "Who knew?" They all crept out of their cell. Each one tip-toed across the room until they reached the front door. Just as they were about to turn the knob, WHAM! It flew open and smashed them into the wall. Elmyra walked in with Babs. "I have a cage full of cute and cuddly new animals. Wanna see?" "That would be delightful!" Babs responded. But before Elmyra could take another step, Babs slammed her into the wall... against the oddimals. "Did you know that kidnapping was against the law?" "Huh?" Suddenly, a handful of ninjas came crashing through every window. They kicked, chopped, and made karate grunts and "heeyaaaa!" noises. Elmyra was (as always) confused. Through the confusion, Elmyra walked away from the wall, allowing the smashed oddimals to slide off the wall in a goop of pain, to open the door. It was Monty and Zuccini in her desquise. "Hey Elmigrane, gimme those oddimals!" demanded Monty as she let him in. He saw the ooze next to the door and scooped it up. He handed Zuzu the puddle and she rung it like a rag. One by one, the oddimals dripped out. "Here are your oddimals, now where's my money?" Zuccini winked at her friends and they knew it was her. "Oh, you want your ten million bucks _now_, do you?" As Monty nodded, Zuccini pulled off her desquise and resumed to using her regular voice. "Here they are!" Zuzu put her fingers in her mouth and whistled loudly. The ground began to tremble as ten million male deer ran straight for them! The oddimals and Tiny Toons just barely got out. "Ooh! Millions of cutee hoofey deers for me to love!" exclaimed Elmyra as her house swelled with bucks. Outside, everybody gathered around Zuzu. "How did you get so many deer on such short notice?" asked Buster. Zuzu winked. "I've got my connections," She ran to a tree and shook a young deer's hand. "Thanks, Vinnie, I owe you." "No sweat," he replied. "But make all checks payable to 'Bambi and Company'." Later that day, they had a big pool party to celebrate the return of the oddimals. It was held at Plucky's pond, and everybody was having a great time. Olivia was an excellent swimmer, and she grabbed Buster's glance a couple of times when she dried her fur with her towel. "Great party!" she told Plucky. He grinned, pleased with himself. He then looked over and saw Zuzu sitting under a tree, reading. He hopped out and walked over to her. "Come on in! Water's great!" Zuccini looked up from reading "Watership Down" and smiled. "That's okay, toots, it's all yours." He smiled sneakily and grabbed Zuzu. He ran over to the water and tossed her in. Buster, Babs, Hamton, and Fifi all laughed, but they stopped when they saw Boomer and Aurora quickly dive in to rescue their friend. But it was too late... "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" screamed Zuccini. She leaped out of the water in panic and horror. She landed on the ground and she had an insane look in her eye. She did a look-over like in the movie "Carrie" (or for those of you who haven't seen it, it's like when Shirley got drenched with punch in the Amazing Three). She looked at her soaking fur and growled, surprisingly deep and fierce for an animal of her size. She roared out loud and Plucky began to shake. She looked him in the eye and he gulped. But instead of being angry, she simply said, "Get me a towel, 'kay?" He nodded and scrambled for a towel. "Wait, nevermind," she corrected. She shook herself like a dog, but when she stopped she fluffed up twice her size. "Hmm, last time I use the spin cycle." As Plucky walked by, she grabbed him by the bill and softly but thunderously said "Don't ever get me wet-- EVER-- again..." Boomer whispered to Babs, "It's an allergic reaction to water." * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * "What a sensational story!" "I like it!" "Just sign here!" The oddimals smiled when they heard this. The network execs only had to see half the tape and they decided the oddimals were a sensational idea for a show. "Gee, I don't know what to say!" laughed Boomer. One of the guys from Warner Bros. handed him a contract. "Say you will! I see merchandising, movies, t-shirts, promos, advertisement billboards with your faces!" Olivia stepped in. "Finally! We're being seen for what we really are... stars!" Outside the office, Bugs, Buster, Babs, Plucky, Fifi, Furrball, and Zuccini all sat. "Well, it looks like we made a deal," stated Zuzu. "I guess this means we'll be leaving now." "So soon?" frowned Plucky. Zuzu nodded. "Thanks for letting us use some of you guys as characters for our cartoon." Bugs clapped his paws together and pulled out a flat box. He opened it and pulled out three diplomas. He handed them to Zuccini. "You kids deserve this! I don't think I coulda learned you so much in a year as to what you showed us this week!" Zuccini grinned as she took the sheepskins from Bugs and looked them over. It had been very confusing, but they had made a great demo tape that obviously pleased the head honchos. Bandit and Jinx stepped into the hallway. They looked very please. Bandit held up a pen to Babs. "Look! They gave me a shiny!" Babs nodded. She was beginning to cry. Jinx walked up to Furrball and gave him a quick hug. "Good luck, brother!" Furrball returned the hug and they both cried. "Bugs?" Boomer stuck his head into the hallway. "The big guys want to talk to you." Bugs walked in proudly as Olivia and Aurora followed Boomer into the hall. There they stood and admired the pictures of great animated characters and their creators. Bugs, Daffy, Porky, Pepe LePew, Taz, Elmer (well, he wasn't too great) and Chuck Jones, Tex Avery, Robert McKimson, Friz Freleng, etcetera. "Boomer," began Fifi. "I am so sorry. I wish I had never left you. Can you forgive moi?" Boomer looked coldly at Fifi. Then he took her in his arms, leaned her over, and kissed her passionately in the lips. Her tail frizzed up and when he broke off the kiss, she sighed and melted. Babs gave Aurora a quick hug and Buster punched Boomer playfully in the shoulder. Hamton shook Bandit's hand gentleman like "good-bye" and Olivia walked over to Fifi's puddle. "Um, Fifi?" The skunk reformed and looked at Olivia. "Oui?" "I'm sorry we didn't get along. I guess I was sorta jealous of your good looks." Fifi gave Olivia an unexpected hug and they said good-bye, too. Plucky was having some difficulty saying farewell to Zuccini. "Will you ever come back?" "Plucky, I told you, I'm really not interested," replied Zuzu. Everybody turned with shock. "What?" asked Plucky, hoping he'd heard her wrong. "I guess we just weren't meant to be. I mean, you're a duck, I'm a phsyco, you like water, I'm scared silly of it. You get it." "But opposites attract!" he shouted. Zuzu turned and looked him in the eye. She gave him a thoughtful kiss on the bill and scampered away. She and the oddimals left the building for a plane heading home. "WAIT! COME BACK!" yelled the desperate green duck. Zuzu came up the elevator alone and walked up to him. "What?" He grinned sheepishly. "I forgot," "Okay," "No, wait. Um, Shirley's doing time for that Disney thing, and I was wondering if I could, you know, ever contact you?" The TTA cast stared at Zuzu, waiting for an answer. Bugs walked in at that moment. "We did it! Acme Loo is saved!" he shouted. They all jumped for joy. "You toons did great teaching dese fellers how to act like a toon. A+!" Then he turned to Zuccini. "How can we ever repay you?" Zuccini smiled. She looked around at all her friends. "I dunno, but if you ever figure out how, just call us. You can reach us through the operator." She went down the elevator and Buster laughed. "Dial 'O' for Oddimals!" THE END! ***************************************** AUTHOR'S NOTE Hey! This sucks! But that's okay, I guess. Umm, oh yeah, my oddimals guys are my own creation. Lots of "fans", shall we say, asked me to write a story with a crossover between my characters and Tiny Toons. Voila. But I guess you need to know my guys to understand them. So, I suggest you go to http://members.aol.com/Oddimals to find out all about them. Sign the guestbook, it's customized especially for my page! I'd like to hear what you think of them. Anyways, thanks for reading, and I apologize for you having to read this. I guess. Oh well. Bye!