Well, thanks to my newsreader's recent acquisition of a SIX DAY propagation delay, I have no idea when this will show up anywhere, but for the record, I posted it on the 14th, which strikes me as fairly appropriate. (Author's note: Before I begin the story, I wanted to give some background on how it came to be written. I would ask that you not hit 'n' halfway through this note: things may be other than they seem. Those of you who have been on the group for a while will remember the intensely acrimonious debate last summer over the subject of sex and the 'toons. Some of you may remember Dennis "Quozl" Falk's effort at writing a TTA sex story ("A Night In Babs' Room") that was not reminiscent of the dread Dr. RR's atrocities. I read the story. I wrote a 60-line critique of it. Quozl's response led me to realize that most of my objections boiled down to "I don't think it would happen that way." I further realized that if I didn't think it would happen _that_ way, I must have some idea of how I thought it _would_ happen. He suggested that I write my own version. Understand, I personally don't think the two characters involved would have sex at all and I also have grave moral and religious objections to pre-marital sex. Despite this, the idea began to weigh on me. Finally, harboring _serious_ doubts as to my continued sanity, I sat down and wrote my version. This is _not_ that story. That story "Things Change," was shown to a few friends who _independently_ told me that I was not insane, just very, very bored. I was reassured. But I still wasn't comfortable with the sex (which is why that story will never be distributed). So I picked a good branching point and rewrote it so they didn't do the deed. This _is_ that story. A little non-explicit making out. But no sex. None. If you want to hit 'n' now, go ahead.) "But I Won't Do That" by David M. Hungerford III e-mail: invertd@primenet.com Copyright 1993,1994 inspired by "A Night In Babs' Room" by Dennis "Quozl" Falk (Tiny Toons characters are TM Warner Bros. and Amblin, and are used without permission.) It was a quiet Thursday afternoon in Acme Acres. The sun hung majestically in the clear sky, illuminating the bucolic campus of Acme Loo. On the clock tower, the minute hand completed its slow trip to vertical and the bell began to ring, disturbing, but not destroying the genteel picture. That happened a second later when the main doors flew open and the Loo began pouring forth toons. Amid the tumult and chaos, we pick out one voice. "Babs! Babs!" "Oh, hi, Buster." "You got much homework tonight?" "Did it last night. You?" "Nothing worth mentioning. So, you up for some Numbmindo?" Babs turned an appraising stare on Buster. "Funny, I never figured you for a masochist." "Huh?" "Buster, when was the last time you beat me at _any_ Numbmindo game?" "Yeah, yeah, but that was then. I've been learning from the master." "Plucky?" "Yep." "Hmm. Well, that should at least make it interesting. You're on." "Great. Weenie-Burger first?" "Why thank you, Buster." Buster suddenly looked chagrined as he realized he'd just been suckered into paying for both of them. Then he shrugged. No big deal. They entered the Weenie-Burger just in time to see Plucky make yet another attempt at asking Shirley out. "So, uh, Shirl, my folks are away this evening. You wanna come over and..." He winked. "...watch a few movies?" "Like, I might consider it if you promise not to get fresh or some junk." Plucky looked genuinely offended. "Moi? Get fresh? I mean it's only to be expected that someone as charming and irresistible as myself should have problems with girls getting fresh with me, but me get fresh? Perish the thought." Shirley looked at him thoughtfully. "You promise?" "You wound me. But yes, I promise." "Uncross your fingers." Plucky sheepishly withdrew his right hand from behind his back and stared at the fingers. "Oh, these fingers? No problem." He uncrossed them. "Promise?" "Promise." "So, like let's head for the video store." "All taken care of." She looked at him in surprise which quickly turned to suspicion. "And just what did you rent?" Plucky hastened to reassure her. "Nothing but classics for this date." Shirley appeared mollified. Then a quizzical look crossed her face. "And like, exactly what do you consider a classic?" Plucky looked enthusiastic as he listed his selections: "I got _Eddie_Cougar_Part_37_, _Gamera_vs._Zigra_, and _Great_Moments_In_Cheerleading_." For a moment there was an awful silence. "Ewwww, like mondo bad vibes! For_get_ it, Plucky!" "But..." "Like just get _out_!" The crestfallen duck departed, mumbling disconsolately about rental fees. The entertainment having ended, Buster and Babs ordered. As they went over to their booth, they passed Shirley, glumly sucking on a milkshake. Babs detoured. "Shirley, hey, we just saw that. Can you _believe_ the movies he had rented? Talk about clueless!" No response. "C'mon, girl, talk to me. You can't be that down over Plucky." "Like, it's not just Plucky. It's the complete lack of acceptable male fowl around here." Buster jumped in. "Oh, come on, it's not that bad. There's Plucky, and Fowlmouth, and...uh...okay, there's Plucky and Fowlmouth. We just watched Plucky, but what's wrong with Fowlmouth. The kid really has it bad for you." Her eyebrows rose. "Buster, by chance do you remember me telling you about our date last summer?" Buster deflated. "Good point." He paused, then rallied. "But mostly that's just immaturity. He's a good guy, he's just a little young yet. Give him time." Shirley considered. "Like, you may be right, but what about right now?" Babs edged her way back into the conversation. "Just don't worry about it. You're beginning to sound like Fifi." "'Just don't worry about it.' Easy for you to say." "Huh? Whadda you mean by that?" Shirley's gaze moved from Babs, to Buster, and back to Babs. "Us? We're just friends! Nothing at _all_ romantic between us. Right, Buster?" Buster looked startled for a second, then recovered. "Oh, yeah, sure, not even a hint of romance over here." Shirley looked skeptical. "If you say so. Like, anyway, I gotta go now. See ya." "See ya." "See ya." A somewhat miffed Buster turned to Babs. "You owe me $2.47." "Huh?" "If there's nothing at all romantic between us, then you can pay for your own darn Weenie-Burgers." Babs looked shocked. Then worried. "Buster, I had to say that. If I'd told her the truth, she'd have been even more depressed." Buster thought that over for a second. Then he nodded. "Okay. I'll buy that." He paused. "And your Weenie-Burgers. Now let's eat before they get cold." Twenty minutes later, the bunnies had left the Weenie-Burger and reached Babs' burrow. "Babs?" "Hi, mom." "Afternoon, ma'am." "Oh, hello Buster." They walked down to the end of the hall to Babs' room. Buster closed the door behind them while Babs turned on the system. "Hey, Buster, any preference for first game?" "Nope, you pick." Babs seated the cartridge into the machine, then handed Buster a controller as they both sat down on the foot of her bed. She hit Start. A few hours later, a pile of discarded cartridges littered the floor in front of the bed, and a tiny thundercloud had formed over Babs' drooping ears. "Aaauuugghhh! That's the twenty-seventh game in a row I've lost! And I never lose to you!" Buster chuckled. "I told ya, I've been practicing with Plucky. Face it, Babsie, I've gotcha beat this time." "Never!" muttered Babs under her breath. "I'll just have to ummm...selectively change the environment. Yeaahhh, that's it. It's not cheating, it's environmental modification." An evil grin lit her face, then quickly vanished as Buster looked over at her. "You ready to throw in the towel yet?" "One more game." "Your funeral." Buster reached out and reset the game. "Ready?" He glanced over at Babs, and saw a look of pure determination on her face. "Yeah, you're ready all right." He hit the start button. For half a minute, there was no movement except that of rapidly twitching fingers. "Hmm, two hits to none. One more and I win...again." As he spoke, one of Babs' ears drooped in front of his eyes, blocking his view of the screen. "Do you mind, Babs?" His own ear reached down and moved hers out of the way just in time to see Babs score a hit on him. He turned and glared at her, but when her expression of utter innocence refused to crack, gave it up and refocused on the game. "Come on...that's it...just a little more...HEY!" He flinched away from the ear stroking his neck, missing the easy shot he had set up. He again turned to glare at Babs. "Watch it with..." ZOT! Another hit. "Why you..." He turned back to the screen, fuming. He settled down again but this time kept one eye on Babs. Unfortunately for him, that left only one eye for the game and against Babs that simply wasn't enough. "YEEHAH!! I WON!!!" Babs sprang up and began jumping around the bed. "Babs, you cheated!" "Moi?" "Yes, you! Don't even _try_ to deny it." Babs stopped jumping and turned towards Buster with her hands on her hips. "And just what are ya gonna do about it, blue boy?" she challenged. Buster stood, a black look on his face. As if in response, the room darkened, dramatically silhouetting him. Somehow, his stature seemed to increase, and his voice, when he spoke, was deep and resonant. I will have such revenges on you, That all the world shall-I will do such things- What they are, yet I know not; but they shall be The terrors of the earth! The effect held for another second, then dissipated, leaving behind only a bill from ILM. When Buster again spoke, it was his regular voice. "King Lear, Act II, Scene 4." Babs' eyebrows rose. "Impressive." An impish smile lit her face. "But ya gotta catch me first." Buster's response was immediate: he gathered himself and leaped at her in a flying tackle. Except Babs wasn't there anymore. Anticipating his move, she had vaulted upward out of his flight path. Then, as he passed under her, he found himself shoved down onto the bed as she used him as a springboard and pushed off toward the wall. As he stood, a silky smooth voice came from behind him: "C'mon Buster, is that the best you can do?" He froze for a second, then turned to face her and began stalking across the bed towards her. As he approached, she jumped away. He followed and the chase was on in earnest. For the next minute all that could be seen were two blurs bouncing off all available surfaces and objects, the blue one always just a hare behind the pink one. But soon enough she zigged when she should have zagged and the two landed in a heap on the bed. There was a short struggle which ended with Buster kneeling on Babs' legs, arms pinning hers to the bed and one ear looped around both of hers. "I've had enough trouble from those already." Pinned as she was, she was unable to perform one of her spinning costume changes, but she brought forth her best gangster voice anyway. "Okay, copper, ya got me." Her normal voice returned. "But all _you've_ got free is one ear. Whadda ya gonna do, poke me to death?" "Well, I figure you used only one ear on me so I should use only one ear on you. And this one ear should be _quite_ sufficient for my purposes." "You think so, huh?" "Yep. So much so that I'm gonna give you an out. You apologize and I let you go. Otherwise it's no quarter asked or given." She studied his face for a moment. "You're bluffing, Buster. 'Terrors of the earth?' Bring 'em on." The gangster voice returned momentarily. "You'll never break me, copper." Buster looked down at her with a wicked gleam in his eyes. "Okay, but remember: you told me to do it." With that the tip of his free ear darted down to her belly fur and began moving in rapid patterns. Babs' eyes widened in distress. "Buster, no, stop, that...tickles!" She barely managed to get the last word out before breaking down into helpless laughter. A look of grim satisfaction tinged with excitement was Buster's only response as Babs squirmed helplessly. After a few minutes she regained enough control to gasp out words in between fits of laughter. "Okay,I give...uncle...you win." No response. "Buster...please...I can't take anymore...I'm sorry...I'll never do it again." The implacable gleam in his eye remained. "I'll let you...no, I can't...AAAUUUGGH...I'll let you read my diary." He stopped. "Really?" Babs' eyes flicked wildly over to the nightstand where the padlocked diary sat, back to his eyes, and finally to the relentless ear hovering over her. Her mind reeled as she considered the awful internal conflict. This was her _diary_. No one, not even Harriet, knew all its secrets. And to let Buster, who figured so prominently in so much of it, read it. But if she didn't then that ear would quickly drive her completely out of her mind. Finally she reached a decision. "Yes." She visibly sagged as she answered. Buster chuckled for a moment. "Babs, Babs. You'd hate me almost as much as you'd hate yourself if I took you up on that. Some things are just _too_ much. Sorry, no deal," he said as he resumed tickling her. Caught once again with her guard down, it was several seconds before she could even think again. When she could, the first thing through her mind was "Kennedy. Just this once, I wouldn't mind Kennedy." Another minute passed in excruciating slowness. Then inspiration hit. Marshalling her remaining strength, she picked her head up and kissed Buster as hard and effectively as she knew how. Mercifully, the ear stopped. The effect on Buster was literally electric. His entire body spontaneously stiffened as the force and the emotion of the kiss overwhelmed him, driving all rational thought from his brain. He began to sag and melt. But his instinct for self-preservation was equal to the challenge and he began channeling some of the excess energy into kissing her back. The two fed more and more energy into the kiss in an ever-increasing feedback loop that ended when the two simultaneously underwent total overload and Buster collapsed bonelessly on the limp form of Babs. When he came to, the only things he could see were Babs' eyes, into which he spent a few seconds falling. As more of his brain came on line, he began to take inventory. He was lying on top of her with his arms around her. But then, her arms were around him, so that was all right. Her ears were wrapped securely around his head, maintaining the eye contact, while his were...where were his ears? He shifted his gaze downward and found them...down Babs' blouse. Eyes widening in fear of imminent death, he attempted to simultaneously disentangle his ears and the rest of himself from her. A serene smile crossed Babs' face as she tightened her grip, preventing his escape. "Leave 'em there, Buster. It's...friendly." "Friendly!?" sputtered Buster. "And you know you've wanted to do that for a long time now" she continued. Under the circumstances, anything less than the absolute truth was simply not an option. "Yeah. That and...other things." "I know. Why do you think I wear a miniskirt all the time?" "You mean you noticed all those times..." "Buster, a girl would have to be blind not to notice...especially after she created the situations to begin with." "Bu.." He was cut off as her lips closed on his again. Though no less vigorous than the first, this one was far more a cooperative effort. When the kiss broke an eternity later, Buster rolled off Babs to stare at the ceiling. Such fascinating patterns there. He looked over at Babs. She was kneeling on the bed with her arms crossed in front of her and was.... Buster blinked. Yep, she was taking off her blouse. With a supreme effort of will, he reached out and grabbed her wrist. "Babs. Don't." Babs looked at him incredulously. "You don't want..." "More than you can imagine." "Then why..." Buster looked up at the ceiling again. "I'm gonna hate myself in the morning." he muttered. He turned back to Babs. "Babs, you know we've held off on anything serious because we haven't felt ready. This has...changed...in the past few minutes. But Babs, doing that. It's too much, too soon." Her face began to cloud up. Sitting up and taking her hands in his (as much in self-defense as anything else), Buster attempted to hold off the storm. "Babs, please, this is not a rejection. You are the most beautiful girl in the world to me, as well as the sexiest, and there is almost nothing I would rather do than let you finish taking that blouse off and let things go from there. I can't even begin to express how much it means to me that you would want to do that with me now. But I don't feel ready for that. Not...yet. Maybe not for a long time." He paused. "But when that time comes, I don't want it to be with anyone but you." Babs stared at him, a confused welter of emotions on her face. Then her control crumbled and she broke down sobbing. "Aw, geez, Babs, please don't cry." Buster looked up at the ceiling again, a "why _me_" look on his face, then awkwardly crawled to her and held her. For a few minutes the only movement was the rhythmic shuddering of Babs crying. Then she straigtened, and looked into Buster's eyes, and saw the pain in his nearly matched the pain in her own. She turned and put her arms around him. Her head against his shoulder, voice muffled by his fur, she spoke. "Buster Bunny, how do you do this to me!?" she wailed in frustration. "Animal magnetism?" Her head whipped up in shock. "Hey, the angst was getting a little bit thick in here." "Oooooh, Buster Bunny!!" Almost of its own volition, her arm pulled back and she slammed her fist into his jaw. He hit the wall headfirst. "Ow." And slid down it to the floor. For a moment Babs stared in shock at what she had done, then sprang to the floor herself. Cradling his head in her arms, she almost began crying again. "Oh, Buster, if I've hurt you I'll never forgive myself." Buster remained limp. "Come on, wake up." She shook him. Nothing. "Well, it worked in the book..." She bent down and kissed him. Instantly, his entire body stiffened and remained so until she broke the kiss, some seconds later. This time, his eyes were open. He looked up at Babs groggily. "Y'know? That was almost worth the trip." Torn between relief that he was okay and a strong desire to see how the opposite wall would take the impact, she did the only thing she could. "Buster, I'm ignoring you." She dropped his head to the floor, turned, and stalked off. At least as far as the bed, anyway, where she flopped down and turned on the TV. Still groggy from the whole experience, Buster lay there for another minute, gathering his wits. Slowly, he stood. "Babs?" She ignored him. "Okay, but listen anyway. I think it would be best if I went home now and we sorted this out tomorrow with clearer heads. _My_ head's not too clear, anyway." As he passed by her, he stopped and gave the top of her head a quick kiss. "Love ya, Babs." With that, he turned and left. Had he bothered to look back, he would have seen Babs staring at him, stunned. After a troubled night, the next morning, Buster climbed out of his burrow to find Babs sitting nearby. "Hiya Babsie. What's up?" he called in a greeting that was anything but casual. "Buster, did you mean what you said when you left last night?" "Huh? That I thought we should sort this out when we had clearer heads?" "No, silly, after that." The look of incomprehension on Buster's face remained. "When you kissed my head?" she said, somewhat archly. "Oh, that! Well, I uh...I uh..." He stopped and shook his head. "What am I _doing_?" He considered for a moment. Did he love her? What was love? He remembered something he had read. Something like "Love is that state of being where another's well-being is essential to one's own." Did this qualify? Was there anything he _wouldn't_ do to make Babs happy? Well, yeah, but Babs was hardly likely to ask him to take up a life of crime. Not without a good reason, anyway. So maybe? Yeah, he thought, I guess I really do. Returning to the here and now, he saw Babs staring at him expectantly. He opened his mouth. No sound emerged. He tried again. Nothing. Seeing his difficulty, Babs stepped behind him and slapped him on the back. "Barbaraannebunnyiloveyou." Babs froze. "What?" Speaking very slowly, Buster repeated himself. "Barbara Anne Bunny, I love you." "Don't call me that. And I love you too." The two embraced then, and their kiss seemed to go on forever. "Hey, you two, break it up." The two hastily broke and looked over to see...Plucky. Of course. "C'mon, we're gonna be late for school." "You go on ahead, Plucky. We'll catch up." Turning back to Babs he said, "Now, where were we?" A few minutes later saw them walking down the path to school. Buster sighed. "I was hoping to keep all this quiet until we had a better handle on what's going on, but with what Plucky saw, I don't think we have that option." "Yeah. If I get my hands on that green busybody, I'll..." Buster broke in. "Or will it actually make a difference?" "Huh?" "It's not like he hasn't seen us kiss before, and as self-absorbed as he is, I doubt he noticed anything different." "Hmm, you may be right. So play it cool, huh?" "Got it." Soon enough, they strode nonchalantly into the main quad of the Loo. To be greeted by the massed voices of everyone there. "Buster and Babs, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage, Then comes the baby in the baby carriage." Buster was the first to speak. "Well, so much for that theory." "Won't notice, huh?" Her voice turned playful. "But, as long as they all know, we may as well act the part." Buster's eyebrows rose. Then he stepped back and bowed formally to Babs. Extending his elbow, he murmured "Milady?" Babs curtsied gracefully and took his arm. The two walked grandly up the steps of the Loo and disappeared inside. As anyone who remembers childhood knows, it's no fun teasing those who refuse to be bothered by it. Accordingly, that was the last they heard of it. At least until lunch, when their friends wanted all the details. Neither was inclined to oblige. Babs didn't particularly want it known that she had offered herself to Buster, who didn't want it known that he had turned her down; and there was no way to edit that out and still leave a coherent account. Afterwards, the four friends could only watch frustratedly as the pair left together. "Like, _something_ happened last night, that's fer sure." Fifi's jaw dropped. "Shirley, you are not saying that they..." Plucky jumped in. "They did _that_?!!?" "Like, take a chill or some junk, and Plucky, get your mind out of the gutter. If they had done that I would have seen it in their auras." Hamton got in the last word. "Gosh, I wonder what did happen." As school let out, the Bunnys met out front. "Whew, I thought today would never end." "Tell me about it!" said Buster. "So, what now?" "My place, we figure out exactly where we stand?" "Okay." They walked the rest of the way in silence, simply enjoying each other's presence. Thus, they did not notice a small, green form shadowing them. Upon reaching Buster's burrow, they climbed down inside and by unspoken decision, sat facing each other at opposite ends of the couch. Meanwhile, Plucky had reached the burrow entrance. From his pack, he produced a tape recorder with a microphone on a cord and a pair of headphones. Donning the headphones, he lowered the microphone down the hole until he could clearly hear the pair inside. "Buster, I didn't know whether to hug you for being honest or kill you for turning me down." "Hah! If you had any idea how close I was to taking you up on that offer..." "Really? You weren't just saying that?" "Babs, at that point, all you would have had to do was reach down and lift my hand off your wrist. If you'd gotten your blouse off, there would have been no turning back." Plucky's jaw dropped and his entire body sagged for a moment. Including the arm holding the microphone cord. Down in the burrow, Buster spotted the sudden movement of the microphone. He blinked. His eyes widened. He indicated to Babs that she should keep talking, then pointed to the microphone. Rage filled Babs face and she began to get up. Buster signaled that she should stay where she was. Then he pointed around the burrow and then to himself. Then he pointed to the microphone, and again to himself. His burrow, his friend, his problem. He walked up to the microphone and placed two fingers in his mouth. Up top, Plucky had recovered from the shock of what he had heard and was avidly listening to Babs speak. "Ah, so close and yet so far. But it would have _WHEEEEEEEEEET!!!!!_" Buster's whistle nearly imploded Plucky's eardrums. Dazed, he looked up a moment later to find Buster staring at him, a look of imminent death in his eyes. "Well?" "Uh, well, I, uh, was, uh, just...trying out the equipment! That's it, I was trying out the equipment. And the doggone stuff doesn't work. Couldn't hear a thing. Well, I'll just be going now. A hand flashed out and grabbed him around the neck before he could move. He found himself eye to eye with a highly annoyed Buster. "Not even close to good enough. Plucky, right now, you had best be glad of one thing." "What's that?" "That _I'm_ up here now and not Babs." Plucky paled. "Exactly. Now, if you expect to survive until graduation, you will forget you heard anything here. And you absolutely will not tell anyone about this. If I find out you have told someone else, or written to someone else, or in any way communicated any of what you heard here, not only will _I_ flatten you, but I'll give Babs the remains to play with, _and_ I'll tell Shirley that you were sneaking around like this and your next chance for a date with her will be in your next lifetime! Which will come _very_ quickly. Got that?" Even an ego the size of Cleveland can be cowed under the right circumstances. Plucky's response was a choked whisper. "Yeah. I got it." "Good. Now get your scrawny green carcass out of here before I change my mind." Plucky was gone so fast, he left a hole in the air. And some trees. And a few rocks. Buster dropped back down the tunnel. Babs was waiting. "Buster, you were so...so..." Buster puffed his chest out. "Manly?" "Ineffectual." Buster deflated. "I would have tied him in a bowknot and booted him clean to Antarctica." "Hey, Babs, take a chill. If I'd done that, he would have been plotting revenge from the moment he landed, and his overriding emotion would have been anger. In a state like that, he probably would have put a display ad about us in tomorrow's Acme Times without even considering the consequences. This way, all he can think about _are_ those consequences, and his fear will keep him silent. All we need to do is glare at him every few days." He paused. "See, you can't just act spontaneously, you've got to think these things through." "Hmph. You didn't seem to mind me acting spontaneously last night." Buster's smug expression vanished. "Ah, well, um, er, uh..." "That's what I thought." She sat back down on the couch. "So. Now that we've established how close we came to doing something we might have regretted, just how do we feel about what we did do?" "Well, I sure enjoyed it." "Yeah, although I could live without the 'terrors of the earth' stuff." "What?" began Buster semi-facetiously, "That was the best part." Picking up on the tone of his voice, Babs played along. Standing up on the couch, she walked over to him and stood with her hands on her hips. "The best part, huh?" "Yeah." Hooking a foot behind her legs, he swept her feet out from under her and she fell backwards on the couch. A second later she was pinned and his free ear was again hovering over her. He looked down at her face. As Babs gazed serenely up at him, he paused a moment. "Aah, skip it." He bent down and kissed her. Some minutes later, the pair began to untangle themselves. "We need to do this more often." "Yeah," agreed Buster. He paused and looked up into her eyes. "Babs?" "Yes?" "Will you be my girl?" "As if I wasn't already?" "I just wanted to make it official." "Oh. Yes, Buster, I will be your girl." Several more minutes passed. At the end of these, they were successful in untangling themselves. "So. We seem to have gotten the formalities out of the way, what do we do now?" "I dunno. This is all kinda new for me." He paused. "We could go see a movie tonight." "It's a date. What's playing?" "Babs, it's the Acme Gigaplex. What _isn't_ playing there? "Oh yeah. So, whadda ya wanna see?" "Well, _Coathanger_ looks good." "_Coathanger_!? Are you kidding? I want something with some romance, like _Made_In_Armenia_!" "What? That clunker? I'd sooner watch _Haplessly_Ever_After_!" They both shuddered. "Eeugh. Filmation." "You said it." "Okay, so what _do_ you want to see?" "I told you, _Coathanger_." "No." "_Super_Pluckyo_Brothers." "Not after last night." "Good point. _Excessive_Farce_." "No." "_Filthy_as_Sin_." "No." "_Slimmer_." "Buster!" "Sorry. _Menace_II_Sobriety_." "No." ... The two bunnies reached the ticket window. "Two for _Made_in_Armenia_, please." Aside, he commented "It was either this or get kicked out of my own burrow." They headed for the doors. "Hi, Monty. Glad to see you feeling better." "Not you two again! Listen, rabbits, if I find you theater-hopping this time..." "Monty, normally I would take that as a challenge and hop whether I had been planning on it or not. But tonight, I'm out on a date with my girl, so chill." Babs snuggled up against him as they walked into the lobby. "Buster, that sounded so good it gave me shivers." "Yeah, I guess I told him off good." She pulled back and glared at him in annoyance. "Not that. 'Out on a date with my girl.'" "Oh. Yeah." He paused. "That does have a certain...something to it, doesnt' it? C'mon. You go find some seats, I'll get the popcorn." Babs headed off for the theater. A short time later, burdened with popcorn and drinks but considerably lighter in the pocket, Buster entered the theater. He looked around. No Babs. He walked down front. Still no Babs. He turned around. _There_ she was, in the very last row. Muttering, he retraced his steps and joined her. "How come you're sitting back here? You can hardly see the screen from here." Babs practically leered. "Who said anything about _watching_ the movie?" It was several seconds before Buster could speak. "Babs, we spent four hours arguing over which movie to watch, and now you just want to use the darkness as an excuse to make out?" "Well, I had to be sure to pick something that wouldn't distract you." He gazed at her evenly. "That almost makes sense...if you're completely nuts!" He thrust Babs' drink into her hand, set the popcorn on the armrest, and resolutely stared at the screen, munching popcorn defiantly. "So he thinks he can just ignore me like that, huh?" muttered Babs. "We'll see how long he lasts." Twenty minutes later, the popcorn and Buster's patience were about gone. The movie was as insipid as he had feared, but from the look on her face, Babs was totally involved. Sighing, he uncrossed his arms and leaned back...into a waiting ear. He looked over at Babs. An unusual look, almost contrite, was on her face. "You done being mad?" He started to sit back up and opened his mouth to say no, but found he didn't have enough anger left to sustain it. He leaned back again. "Yeah, I guess so." Babs reached down and put the drinks on the floor. "Remind me to get those when we leave." "Right." Things progressed nicely from there. After the movie, the two walked to Babs' burrow in silence, content just to hold hands. At the entrance, they stopped. "Buster, everything from last evening on has been the most wonderful time of my entire life." Buster looked playful. "Even the 'terrors'?" "Considering where they led, even them. But if you _ever_ do that again, I'll...I'll" "Laugh real loud?" he inquired archly. "Yeah. And then I'll boot _you_ to Antarctica." "Okay, okay." He paused. "Babs, you've made me the happiest rabbit in the world." A voice floated up from the burrow. "Babs, is that you?" "Yes, Mother, I'll be down in a minute." Recognizing a cue when he heard one, Buster took her in his arms and kissed her. An endless time later he felt a tap on his shoulder. He looked up. Uh oh. Babs' dad. "If you're done with my daughter for the evening, I'd like to have her back now." Buster hastily broke the clinch. "Oh, uh, sorry sir." "Good night, Buster." "Good night, Babs." "Good night, son." "Good night, sir." As Buster turned to leave and Babs and her dad went down into the burrow, a voice came from the darkness: "Good night, John-boy." The End, More or Less Well, there it is. Comments, questions, reviews, etc. actively encouraged. I am aware that my prose stylings are ummm, awkward in spots. I would greatly appreciate any tweaks that would make this story less clunky. Oh, for the record, should any of you care, the branching point from "Things Change" occurs immediately after the two electric kisses when Buster is staring at the ceiling. In this version, he looks over at Babs and stops her from removing her blouse. In the other version, he does not look over, she successfully disrobes, and things proceed from there.