MY BRAIN RUNNETH OVER

By Razorback Jack
(glendarl@socal.rr.com)

Legal Notes:

All Tiny Toon characters (c) Warner Brothers 2000
All Looney Tune characters (c) Warner Brothers/Amblin 2000
All third-party characters (c) their respective owners
Any reference to another product/universe is used with the author's intent
All commercial characters (c) their respective companies

Author Notes:

Well, I think this system of legalese is WAY more effective than other systems. It
isn't as long, and it doesn't result in a mess of red tape.

Anyway, this is the prequel to "Violation," and it fills in a few key plot holes in
the storyline. Come to think of it, this SHOULD be the first story in the series.
But I started writing Violation shortly before I came up with this...but that doesn't
mean it'll be the first thing out up, now, will it?

Now, perhaps I should start with an introduction of the characters. Now, the
Looney Tunes and Tiny Toons are fairly self-explained, and the third-party
characters can all be found in HKUriah's TTA Fanfic archive. However, I should
give some thought to the main character, which I have created and based on
myself. There are also multiple personalities of myself running about, some of
which are sicker than Montana Max, more profane than Fowlmouth, more serious
than Honey Bunny, greedier than Daffy and Plucky combined, eviler than any
TTA villain, or just plain insane. And it all begins in an entirely different
universe...

---

A rainforest. And yet not a rainforest. The earth. And yet not the earth.

And so it was on one planet hiding amongst the billions upon billions of stars in
our galaxy. A lot of this planet was covered with rainforest, covering structures
more magnificant than many seen on Earth, or anywhere for that matter.

One such building stood sentinal atop a rocky hill, a stepped path leading to the
extravagant entrance. When inside, the sights were spectacular.

And so these sights were beheld by a certain female rabbit...

"Whoa...what is this place?"

"This is the Temple of Dreams, follower."

Lola Bunny, having just entered the magnificant temple, was startled to find an
alien nearly eight feet high, towering over Lola by a human's height. He was
wearing an oddly-shaped suit of yellow armor. He had hoofs instead of normal
feet, which arched from his seemingly avian legs. He had two fingers and a thumb
on each hand, blue and crackled like the skin on his face, which held no mouth,
and yet could still speak.

"En taro adun, follower. I am the High Templar Yutabinum, guardian of this
temple. This is one of the few temples remaining on this planet."

"This planet...what is it's name?"

"Aiur, my dear...Lola, is it not?"

"What?! How did you..."

"We Protoss have uncanny psychic abilities. Now, I can assume your trip went
smoothly?"

"Yes, of course...if being shot here by a giant cannon, or whatever it was, can be
called 'a smooth flight.'"

"I believe the proper term for the device would be 'Massdriver,' Lola. A
Massdriver can shoot an object of a huge size at incredible speeds, achieving the
'Railgun Effect.'"

"Why wasn't I told this BEFORE I came here?"

"We felt there was no need for you to know just then...now, you have a crystal in
your possession."

"A crystal? Oh, oh yeah, I have one...let me find it somewhere...here we go!"

Lola pulled out a glowing blue crystal from her shorts. It was roughly shaped like
the head of a spear, except from a top-view it'd look more circular in nature. It
had intricate lines and a seemingly fragile structure. And yet, it's powers were
unlike anything the known universe had seen...

Lola remembered well how she had gotten it. While on honeymoon with Bugs,
she had discovered the crystal after accidentally stubmling over it...quite literally,
in fact. In a fit of rage, compunded by the fact that Space Jam bombed and she
never got a very big part in it anyway, she almost heaved the thing at the moon.

But then she caught the glare of the crystal, and, admiring the beauty of this gem,
put it in her shorts. She'd kept it with her, even up to this point, to which she had
come after someone stuffed her into this metal ball, dropped it into a cannon, and
fired her to some place she'd never even heard of before...either that, or she was
somewhere in Brazil.

Presently, Yutabinum looked at the sparkling crystal and nodded his head slightly.

"Excellent...I believe I know someone who can find this of use...ishkaar moloch!"

At these words, the center mosaic inside the rotunda-like building's floor lifted up
to reveal an elevator of sorts. Lola cautiously stepped near it.

"Step inside..."

Lola hesitated at first, then cautiously stepped in, eyes closed, half-expecting a
terrible fate awaiting her. After about a minute, she slowly opened one eye, then
the other, and breathed a sigh of relief. She soon pressed a button she assumed
would bring the elevator down, and down it went. And so it began a long trek
downward through a dark tunnel, illuminated only by the faint glow the crystal
she held was giving. And then a flash of light dazzled her.

A giant crystal cavern, of apparently the same substance the crystal she held was
made of, appeared as the elevator reappeared from about 1,000 feet above. The
elevator soon stopped at a platform of some sort, and Lola stepped off. Lola then
looked around the cavern. It was bright, blue, but there was nothing in it. She
noticed the sparkling effect the crystal created, and her eyes became bedazzled.

"Wow...I wonder how much this stuff would sell for if I put it on a ring?"

"Probably nothing, lest you can convince them that this stuff's diamond."

She jumped slightly when she heard this reply. Where did it come from?

"Hello? Who's there?"

"Freeze! ATF!"

Lola jumped again, not only by the suddeness of the comeback, but because the
direction had changed...and it was the same voice!

"Alright, stop messing with my head!"

"How can I mess with it if I never touched you?!"

Lola was beginning to see a pattern here...

"Can't you just come out and SHOW yourself?!"

"Geez, can't you take a joke?"

She delivered a somewhat hasty ultimatum.

"You come out now or...uh...I'll break this crystal!"

Suddenly, some unseen force snatched the crystal away from her and flew it
across the room.

"Hey, come back here!"

"You don't want me, I'm the Hope Diamond! Go away and leave me in peace!!"

Lola was running after the crystal she had only minutes earlier held firmly in her
grasp. Suddenly, the crystal jumped back into her hands, lifeless. This was really
beginning to weird her out.

"What's going on here?"

"If you haven't figured it out by now, take the I-5 via the sixth onramp. Look for
me there, kid..."

Lola was now sure there was SOMEONE in the room. She just didn't know who.

"Uh...who are you? You seem so...strange."

"I'd thought you'd never ask: a convict."

Instantly, a bright flash permeated the room, and a lawyer stood in the center of it.

"Hey, I thought you said you were a convict!"

"I never said what kind. Now, I have you down on a charge of mishandling a
crystal, and I'm afraid I have to take your money as compensation."

"WAAAGH!"

It was more of the sudden appearance of a giant pair of hands than anything else
that seemed to freak her out. She dashed back to the elevator, only to find that it
was turning into raspberry Jello. The hands closed in on her...closer...closer...

"*yawn* This is getting boring. I'd better just cut to the chase and save you the
trouble of dying..."

In an instant, the hands disappeared, and the lawyer did something to the effect of
a spin-change (only with better quality special effects and more realism, and yet
no actual spinning, more like a break-away of some sort), and soon instead of the
lawyer, a teenager stood in the center of the cavern. He wore a silver jacket, blue
jeans, hiking boots, white t-shirt, and more than two feet taller than Lola.

"Sorry 'bout the routine. It's not often I have a visitor from a world derived from
humor. And certainly not you..."

"Just promise me something."

"What?"

"Well...DON'T EVER DO THAT TO ME AGAIN!!!"

The Ride of the Valkyries suddenly struck up, and the teenager was suddenly
clutching a bar, trying to keep from getting blown away.

"Agh...too...much...breath...must...talk...like...this..."

As abruptly as it began, it ended. Everything was suddenly back to
normal...except that a trout had spontaniously appeared on Lola's head. She
merely became very, very annoyed, or at least exasperated.

"Look, just let me go, okay?"

"We have a lot to talk about, actually. But I think I should tell you who I am,
before I go into one of my alteregos again. I'm Grid."

It was when Grid outstreched his hand that Lola noticed his ghostly appearance.

"What the...are you...are you a ghost?"

"An apparition would be a more proper term. I'm the spiritual representation of a
person in another dimension, one that you may or may not have seen before."

"Hmm...interesting...so, you go haunting often?"

"Haunting?! How am I going to HAUNT anything if I can't so much as hold my
own shape outside this chamber?!"

Loa was caught quite off-guard by this remark. "What? You haven't been outside
this chamber...ever?"

"Nope. 'Course, the visitors I get keep me company...but I do wish to get out of
this bloody place. But they said 'Noo, we can't let you out, if you don't have a
Khadaryin crystal with the right shape you'll vaporize...' Well I'm bloody tired of
it!"

Lola now noticed that Grid's accent had changed while he was talking. It seemed
like he could mimic an accent almost as soon as he heard it.

"You mimic voices well, don't you?"

"That depends on the voice...Lola, right?"

"Hmm...how exactly do you know my name?"

"I've seen 'Space Jam' before."

"I thought that was being held in a maximum-security vault at Acme Loo!"

Grid suddenly changed into a mobster.

"Not where I come from, sister...the Warner Brothers pushed that disaster
practically out the door, and sales took a nosedive into concrete. I got the goods
'round '98, but I first saw it in a classrom 'round '96."

"How'd it get into a CLASSROOM?!"

"Simple: my teacher had connections with the WB. Now, have a seat."

Crystal chairs sprouted from the ground, one for each. Grid appeared as his
"normal" self while Lola sat down on her chair.

"You know, I've been thinking...why are you so crazy, Grid? You're even loonier
than Daffy!"

"CRAZY?! I'll have you know I'm autistic!!"

"Autistic? What's that?"

"You don't know what autism is, eh? Well, to keep a long story short, it's basically
a behavioral disorder. I just happen to be one of the lucky ones."

"Lucky?"

"The majority of autistic people are mentally retarded. I'm high-functioning,
which means I'm, thankfully, NOT retarded. This is probably due to a 96.9%
increase in four major proteins, as opposed to 92% in those with mental
retardation, 9.2% in cerebral palsy patients, and no increase in normal healthy
babies. Strange to think that in California this sort of thing is happening to every
sixty births in a thousand, up from the 1/1000 rate before, which is the same as
the birth rate for 'criminal karyotypes,' or supermales, who have one X
chromosome and two Y chromosomes."

By this time, Lola was becoming somewhat confused.

"Uhm...why did Yutabinum shoot me here in a sphere from a 'Massdriver'?"

"Oh, so he's introduced himself, eh? Well, it's basically because at the distance
Aiur is from Earth, and because of the Tannhauser Gate we recently installed
outside the Solar System, we figured that the Massdriver would be the fastest way
we could think of. Besides, you know how much starships cost these days?!"

"No."

"Oh. Right then, carry on."

Lola just stared at Grid from some reason. What was the spirit of a lunatic doing
in the surroudings of a powerful psychic race of aliens? She needed to know, and
so at some point in their conversation she asked him. He muttered something
about a "Departure" and Stonehenge, then promptly sunk into the walls.

"Hey, where are you going?"

"Nowhere in particular, seeing that I'm stuck here for eternity."

"Hmm...say, about that crystal...remember how you were able to manipulate it?"

"Yeah? So?"

"Maybe you should try and tap into it."

"What? Hmm...well, it's worth a shot. Don't have anything better to do."

Grid then shot from the walls, then became a glowing sphere of energy, electricity
surging around the sphere. It then took the crystal from Lola's hands.

"Hmm...mmhmmm...hmm? There's an unusual power reading...matches that of...a
Khadaryin crystal?!"

Suddenly, the sphere completely enveloped the crystal, and after a spectacular
energy discharge, Grid returned to normal, but now with Lola's crystal inside him.
He seemed a bit wobbly, which seemed to indicate that the crystal had a definite
effect.

"Whoa, what a rush..."

"What just happened?"

Grid just shook his head somewhat violently. His head went flying off, and he had
to fumble around to get it, then put it back on and started explaining things as if
nothing had ever happened.

"Well, when I found out the crystal was Khadaryin, it triggered a reaction
between us, causing us to bond together. Maybe now I can get out of this
chamber!"

As Grid rushed toward the elevator shaft, he was oblivious to Lola. But then he
stopped as suddenly as he started. He turned to Lola.

"Thanks. I'll have to repay you sometime. Now, I think you can go now."

"Uh, don't mention it...by the way, do you have any idea what the crystal's
called?"

"Hmm...that's a good question...wait, it's speaking to me...the Crystal of Dreams,
eh? Figures."

Grid then shot up the shaft at an alarming speed. Lola was now alone again. She
entered the elevator, and pushed the button that made the elevator go up. As the
elevator rose, Lola saw a couple of flashes upstairs. When the elevator reached
the top, Grid was flying around outside, trying out his newfound powers. And he
seemed to be going a little overboard...

"Grid, for the sake of the Khas, get back here!"

"Yutabinum, I'm just taking this crystal for a test drive! Electrocute!"

Another flash, and a lightning bolt shot from Grid toward the sky. Now Lola was
starting to get annoyed, and worried.

"Hey Grid, get down from there!

"Nyahahaha! I'm flying, I'm flying!"

"Okay, but this is gonna hurt you a LOT more than it's gonna hurt me..."

Lola then resorted to a brand of cartoon violence. About two seconds later, Grid
was a pancake on the floor.

"Ow...can somebody get me the I.D. on that Tank? Ergh..."

Lola put away her mallet, then flapped Grid out a bit before he popped back into
shape and got up from his position.

"Sorry. I guess I got a little carried away. It's not often I get this kind of
opportunity."

"It's OK. It's not often I have to do that...except when I'm dealing with perverts."

"That bad, huh?"

"Yeah...uh, does anyone know how to get back to my home?"

"I might be able to. Though this crystal is relatively untested, I might be able to
get you back alive and in one piece."

"Well...OK. But if I wind up disfigured, it's going to be MUCH worse for you!"

"Not if my alteregos can help that..."

"WHAT WAS THAT?!"

"Er...nothing! Hehehe..."

Grid then performed a new spell. He created a trans-dimensional portal, with
varying stability. He motioned Lola to enter, and she did so, but not without
gulping and taking very tedious steps. Grid, on the other hand, was sweating
profusely, and his clothes suddenly felt very heavy...

When she finished walking through, she then opened her eyes. She saw Acme
Acres, bright as day. The portal then closed behind her, somehow knowing Lola
had exited. She then walked off to Acme Loo to get to her job as coach. But she
couldn't help but wonder hwo she'd gotten into this whole predicament in the first
place...

Back on Aiur, Grid closed the other end of the portal, wiped his brow, then turned
to Yutabinum.

"Say, Yutabinum! You mind if I give this a trans-dimensional whirl?"

"That depends. Personally, I'm not sure if you're quite ready for that sort of
travel..."

"Maybe I am...and maybe I'm not. There's really only one way to find out,
y'know."

"Hmm...all right, but I must warn you. The dimensional vortex isn't a smooth
road. Be careful, and use your thoughts to guide you."

"OK. I'll see you as soon as I finish!"

With that, Grid zoomed off into space, preparing for his first true trans-
dimensional journey...and his first mission...

Of course, it was completely on accident.

---

Lola finally got back to Acme Loo. She was almost late for her P.E. Class. It was
hell for her, being the coach of a basketball team with almost no experience. But
they had won their first match of the season, thanks in part to Rubella's untimely
"recovery." Still, they had plenty more games coming up, including one involving
a team from another dimension!

When she got into the gym, things were a mess. Most of them were socializing,
arguing, or just shooting the breeze. Only Elmyra, who was by far the most
energetic player on the entire team, was busy shooting baskets and practicing her
trash talk. Lola decided to blow the whistle on all of this. Within seconds, they
were all lined up in a row, as straight as they could. Almost as if they were some
sort of military unit. That could be said about the football team...

---

Out on the field, Nigel Carrotte (and also, coincidentally, Lola's adopted British
newphew) was drilling the team on their rugby tactics. They served useful during
the first game of the season, but the competition would get rough. They too, it
seemed, were also going to be facing a trans-dimensional team, and from a school
with quite a bit of prestige. But they didn't know who or where. All they knew
was that if they didn't straighten up their act, they'd be in for it.

While Nigel drilled, Lionel Carrotte and Miranda Mink were sitting on the
sidelines, but not literally. While Lionel sat on the ground, Miranda didn't have to,
mainly because of her wheelchair. Not that she didn't mind, considering they were
using actual grass (as far as toon grass went) instead of Astroturf. And Miranda
wouldn't have wanted to mess up her dress, even if it WAS Astroturf they were
using...which they weren't.

Lionel, meanwhile, was admiring Miranda more than he was paying attention to
the practice. Ever since he'd met her when he first got to Acme Loo, he'd felt
some sort of relationship forming. He wasn't sure why, but he didn't care.

Unfortunately, he'd been channeling the spirit of Grahmn Chapman recently.

In a split-second, he went into a non-consentual spin-change (the worst kind, for
obvious reasons), and was now in a British Policeman's outfit.

"Alright alright alright, my name is police constable 'Enry Thatcher, and this is a
raid! I believe there to be certain substances on the premise."

Miranda just sighed.

"This is worse than MY unprovoked spin-changes..."

"Beg your pardon?"

"Nothing!"

"Oh. Well, it's the uniform that gets to them. That and my bad breath."

And then, just as suddenly as it came, it went. Lionel was now his normal self,
more or less. It didn't really help that he sounded like Grahmn Chapman.

"Tell me, luv, what happened when I was in the washing machine?"

"You turned into Grahmn Chapman."

"It's that bloody spirit again! I'd shove 'im off, but then I'd 'ave to pay 'im nine
hundred pounds to keep 'im out."

"Nine hundred pounds?"

"Unemployment pay. Seems to be the new etheral policy these days."

"Is he a union worker?"

"What, Chapman? No, he's still an actor. 'E just hasn't been 'eard from for some
time."

"I gathered as much."

"I 'ave a theory, actually. I'm starting to think that these long ears are affecting me
spiritual reception. In other words, I'm tuned into the wrong channel."

"I might be able to fix that."

"But Miranda, luv, you're no technician! Nor are you any sort of spiritual advisor."

"Have you talked with Shirly about it?"

"No, I 'aven't had the time. As much as I'd like to, luv, that bloody ghost keeps
invading me privacy! I can't so much as drop tupence without 'im hounding me!"

"Maybe you should call her here..."

"You, like, rang?"

Miranda stared in amazement as Shirly floated over to the two.

"How'd you get here so fast?"

"I see all and, like, know all. I hear Lionel, like, has a problem, or some junk."

Suddenly, Lionel went into another spin-change, this time coming out dressed like
some kind of general.

"Like, calm down, Lionel. You're giving off some major bizarro karma."

"Right, stop that! It's silly!"

"Come again?"

"Just what I said. Now, no one likes a good laugh more than I do, except for my
wife Edna, and her friends...oh yes, and Captain Johnson. Come to think of it,
most people like a good laugh more than I do, but that's beside the point!"

"Like, what point?"

"I'm warning you not to get silly again. Now, we're going to sit back and watch
this rugby game."

"Like, this isn't rugby, this is football!"

"Hualp!"

Lionel then spin-changed again, but this time coming out dressed in African safari
clothes, complete with pith helmet, bandana/ascot, and...a trout?!

Lionel took aim at Shirly, and whaped her with the trout, propelling her sixty feet
before she came to rest in the swimming pool, where she was promptly eaten by
the resident shark. But soon, she came out of the water carrying a rather
interesting platter that looked suspiciously similar to the shark. She set it down,
and soon the football team devoured it whole, platter and all.

"Like, ewww, mondo disgusting! Lionel, like, get a makeover, or some junk!"

Lionel then spin-changed back to normal. Miranda turned to a rather PO'ed loon.

"Now what?"

"Like, stand back, Miranda. I've got to fry that spirit, or some junk."

With that, Shirly raised her arms and twiddled her fingers. She was about to cast a
bolt when a doctor shot out of Lionel.

"All right, all right, you win! I can't so much as possess someone before I get
'ounded out! Now I have to start that 'ole bloody process again! And I thought I
had problems when I was alive!"

With that, Grahmn Chapman's spirit flew away, carrying a suspiciously large
needle. Now Lionel stood, somewhat dazed. He looked at Miranda with a slight
fatigue.

"Tell me, luv, what happened between those three spin-cycles?"

"Not much. We just managed to drive Grahmn Chapman's spirit out of you."

"Oh, thank heavens. I was worried I'd never be able to sing again."

"Like, don't worry, Lionel. It, like, coulda been worse."

"How?"

"You could have been possessed by Wayne Knight, or some junk."

Suddenly, Wayne Knight's voice shot out from above.

"I HEARD THAT!!"

"Like, sorry, you big blubber belly. You give me some mondo freaky karma."

"I don't give a dang about karma, missy! Time to deliver the bomb!"

Enter Wayne Knight...unto Shirly.

"Oh good god, she's suffocatin' under there! Wayne, you bloody farie, get off 'er!"

"Oh, what are ya gonna do, bite me?"

"Thanks for the idea, luv. I haven't had a bite to eat in hours!"

Exit Wayne Knight...with a ridiculously sized throbbing red hand. And from
under him, Shirly reappeared after her "makeover." She was now flat as a
pancake, thin as paper, and had a headache that would have put the MAD
Magazine Mind Warpers to shame. She then accordioned back up, but was very
dizzy.

"Like, ouch..."

*WHUMP*

Shirly hit the pavement in front of Miranda and Lionel. They turned to each other,
wondering how they could fix up Shirly.

"Luv...y'think we should deliver 'er to the nurse?"

"Might as well. Pete'll have a fit when he sees a duck-shaped crater in the
pavement, filled with a hippie loon."'

"I take that as a yes."

Lionel and Miranda carried Shirly off the field while Nigel continued to drill, not
even noticing all this had happened...well, almost.

"I feel like I've got this big needle stuck in my back..."

And there it was, a giant needle that Grahmn Chapman had carried. Chapman was
snickering above, unaware that John Cleese was bearing over him...with a walrus.

---

The faculty was going into hiding again. One might mistake it for another stink
alert (and Pepe STILL refuses to use deoderant! Sheesh!), but it was
different...much different.

"WHAT?!"

Bugs pounded his fist into the table. He then swept up what was left and cast it
under the rug while Pete Puma brought in another table.

"Whadya mean we're broke?!"

"Like I said, Bugsy, we're broke."

"Yeah, it's because of all dose endorsements."

"Is it MY fault they demanded their money back?!"

"YES."

"Oh."

Daffy slumped sheepishly back into his seat while Bugs reevaluated the situation
with his usual dilligence and charm.

"OK, so we're dead broke, no tanks to Daffy here."

"Oh, sure, just rub it in, whydoncha?"

"Whatever. Anyway, we need ta find a new way ta raise money so da tax
collectors will get off our backs. Any ideas?"

Blank looks came across everone's face. No, really. They didn't have a single face
among them. I'm not kidding. Just look at them, sitting there, blank looks on their
faces...

"Uh, doc?"

Hmm? What is it?

"I tink we get the idea, doc."

Oh, alright. Go on.

"Tanks. Anyway, since no one can come up wit anyting, it becomes my duty to
tink of someting to get us out of dis jam. However, I can't seem to tink of a single
idea, so we'll just have to wait and see."

"I knew you weren't thinking all along..."

"I HOID DAT, DAFFY!"

Once again, Bugs brought down his fist. But this time, instead of broken wood,
there was duck l'orange on the floor.

"Gerk..."

---

Meanwhile, on the Cosmic Interstate, Grid casually walked on by, past the Great
War on Mobius, fought between Overlander and Mobian...

"I wonder if they'll ever realize they have a greater threat looming..."

Past the planet of Albia, with its many Norns...

"Reminds me of old times back home..."

Past the world of Monty Python...

"I'll stop there on my way back. I could use a good laugh..."

Grid continued to walk along the path of the Cosmic Interstate, stopping when he
reached a congregation of WB universes...

"Geez, I didn't think there'd be so MANY of these suckers flying about!
Hmm...well, maybe I can visit one..."

Grid raised himself off the path. He then flew to the congregation. For some
reason, each world was shaped more like a disc than a sphere.

"I wonder if this saves them the time of having to set time zones...hmm...well,
let's see what this one holds..."

Grid then flew down to a disc. But when he tried to land on it, it suddenly flew
away.

"Huh?!"

Grid was boggled. Why would a world just shift like that?

"Hmmm...let's try this again..."

Grid looked for another disc to land on. Upon finding one, he leaped at it, but to
no effect. Each disc he tried kept flying away from him.

"I think I'm beginning to see a pattern here..."

Then Grid looked around. Discs were flying all around him. And converging on
his position. Hundreds, even thousands were moving in on him, moving closer
and closer. Finally, the room around him turned pitch black, and a single word
crossed through his mind...

"Uh-oh."

The sound was deafening. The force was tremendous. Despite this, we still
managed to get exclusive verbal footage of Grid's reaction. And it goes like this:

"OWWW! MY BRAIN! SHIVENHUNT!! AAAAAAAGH!!! OWWWWEEEEE!!
AAAAAAAAAACKKK!!! MOMMYYYY!! HEEEEEELP!!
OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!! BOYSHEMOV!! KRAKEN!!
SWASTIKADIES!! BLAAAARG!!!! OOOF!!
OOOOOOGGOOOOOGGGOOOOCHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGG
GHH!!"

While the crushing and partial merging took place, energy waves shot through the
rock. The result...

---

The room was in a shambles. The sudden shock had thrown everyone against a
wall. It resembled a World War II debris field, and not an especially good one at
that. As Bugs' gloved hand was reaching up, a dark silhouette appeared off in the
dusty distance. Bugs struggled to get out of his concrete oppressor, and soon
managed to get the rock to budge. He heaved stone after stone out of his path
until he was fully out. And then, the horror...the horror!

"Good evening, I'm Mr. A of the IRS, and I couldn't help but notice that you are in
need of insurance. Now, do you require medical insurance, home insurance,
earthquake insurance, fire insurance, storm insurance, flood insurance, or just
plain ridiculous insurance?"

"What? Oh, er...*chomp chomp chomp* what's up, doc?"

"That's for me to know and you to find out. Now, do you require insurance? Or do
I have to reopen the Bugs Bunny vs. The City of Las Vegas case?"

"Hey, dat wasn't supposed to be made public!"

"Well, if you don't want insurance, I'll have no choice but to subpoena you! I'll see
you in court, mister!"

Bugs was in a tight spot...trapped...by the Lawyer from Hell!

"Excuse me, but I represent a firm that is not affiliated with any other-worldly
firm. Any slander of my name or the name of my firm will result in..."

OK OK, I GET THE PICTURE! SHEESH!

---

In another dimension of the WB Universe, a recovering city was devastated by a
sudden squall. Out from the rubble stepped the gang, but they were different.
They wore tattered green clothes. Parts of their bodies were either deformed or
metallic. This was the dimension of Fractured Images (shameless plug ;-).

Buster forced his way out and looked around.

"Man, what happened to the shidy?"

"I dunno, Buster. But as far as I know, we've got an earthquake here."

"Maybe, Barbara...shay, y'think the Million came back?"

"Do not be, 'ou vous say, ridiculous! Ze Million were destroyed ages ago!"

"Maybe sho, Feef, but thish ish sherioush!"

"I can't understand a ******* thing you're saying!"

"Cool it Hammy. We have more presshing concerns now..."

As the Gang walked about the rubble, a car could be heard revving up in the
dishtance...dishtance? Dang, now he's making ME do that!

"Shuddup if you know whash good fer ya, bub."

Oh! Sorry.

"Thash better. Now, we know the shidy got hit by shome short of tremor..."

"ROAD TRIP!!"

"What?!"

Instantly, a psychadelic car crashed in on the gang while whacking them with
whiffle bats. It shot off, then screeched to a halt.

"D*** it Lyin', I thought I told you to aim to the LEFT!!"

"Hey, don't **** with me, Lee! You KNOW that Uncle wanted us to always veer
RIGHT!!"

"Wait...I sense something..."

"Probably that bacon cheeseburger you had two miles ago..."

"Shut up, b****!"

Two people stepped out of the car. They were dressed in psychadelic clothing,
and had there weird medallions. One had brown hair, the other black hair. Both
were human, roughly 5'11" each, and of a serious disposition. The brown haired
one spoke.

"Who are THESE weirdos?!"

"Weirdosh?! You DARE call ush WEIRDOSH?!"

"It beats calling you congressmen."

"Like, that did not make any sense whatsoever!"

Now the black haired one spoke.

"Mmmm-Mmmm! Loon!"

"I still think that congressmen's a better term...what, loon?"

"You know what that means, Lee?"

"LUNCHTIME!!"

As they were about to dive in, Hamton unleashed two blows. Within minutes, the
two humans were straightening their jaws and cursing in Greek.

"Alright, it's time for..."

"THE REVENGE OF THE STUPID BROTHERS!!!"

"The Shtupid Brothersh?"

"I'm Lyin'..."

"Yeah, I can shee that..."

"...and I'm Lee!"

"Well, why doncha LEE-ve ush ALONE, wouldja?"

"Of all the b******* we run into, we have to hit the smelliest pile!"

It was then that Lyin' noticed that each cuss word was censored by an anvil thud.

"Whoa...****? *******!! ******' ****!! **** dat ***!!!"

Now Lee joined in, thus adding to the already unstable situation.

"Well, my daddy is so ****** up, you could shove live leeches ** *** *** and he
wouldn't mind cause he's an *******!! I swear, a ****** could **** him all day
and he wouldn't give a d*** because he's ***!!!"

"Oy! Ze are, 'ou vous say, tres immature! 'Ou did ze manage to get 'ere?"

"I dunno, Feef...but I gotta bad feelin' about thish..."

"That goes without saying."

"Good point, Barbara...alright, Shtupid Brothersh! What'sh your business?"

"We have come here to convert everyone! We can drink 50 gallons of gasoline
while standing on our nose hairs!"

"Like, did that not make sense or WHAT?"

"What?"

"Never mind, Lyin', they wouldn't understand our voodoo powers..."

"VOODOO DOODOO VOODOO DOODOO VOODOO DOODOO!!"

"It seems they're insane."

"We could figure that out, Hamton."

---

At the lavish mansion/condo/whatever of Buster and Babs Bunny (had a relation
for about twenty years or so after history had restored itself), everything had been
struck suddenly. Spilled carrot juice was on the floor. Buster and Babs sifted
through the rubble.

"Buster, what happened?"

"I dunno. Just when I was pouring myself some more carrot juice, an earthquake
hit!"

Suddenly, some of the house mysteriously exploded.

"Hey! That was the Art Gallery! Whoever's doing that will be paying for the
damages!"

Buster and Babs ran through the house toward their art gallery. They were
suddenly confronted with the cannon of an M1-A1 Abrahms Tank. Actually, to be
more precise, it was a Russian knock-off called the Pamir, which needed only one
person to operate.

"Uh, Buster...I don't think this is your average burgler..."

"Alright, come on out, ya rat!"

The lid popped open, and out stepped a man in camoflague pants, green t-shirt,
camoflague cap, and combat boots.

"Alright, maggots! What's the idea of standing in the way of the Army?!"

"THE ARMY?!"

"Yeah...I'm General Spitz Bricabrac, and this is gonna be our new Army Base in
Acme Acres! So vacate this property before we blow you to kingdom come!"

"Alright, 'General,' I'm Buster Bunny..."

"...and I'm Babs Bunny!"

"Total relation."

"Stop trying to bulldoze our house! We'll sue!"

"You're trying to push that trash on me? Prepare to fry, rabbits!"

Bricabrac crawled back into his tank, then ordered an armored division to attack
with every weapon they had.

"Eep."

---

QUAKABAKA!!

*ahem* Sorry. Just needed to vent some much-needed silliness.

Well, it just so happened that the merging interrupted a little reunion on the part
of the Bunny family. For some reason, everyone else was invited too. Of course,
the main people of concerned was the Bunny family itself, which included about
9,000 relatives. By a strange coincidence, Buster and Babs were themselves
distant relatives through sixteen generations of cross-breeding and in-breeding. Of
course, it was just a coincidence, as much so as the fact they had chosen to have
the reunion at Easter Valley.

Anyway, as the whole of the mess settled, they noticed that some of them were in
need of medical attention. Bill, Jessica, Buster, and Babs all had to carry a few of
their relatives, as well as the Pews (who were only there to deter thieves), and a
few red-shirted Starfleet cadets who were already dead (at least, only because
they ignored Ensign Throwaway's repeated cries of "I'm not dead yet!").

They went to the local hospital, which after a brief scene change came into view.
The whole of the parties injured were sent in, where they were cared for. Lola and
Bugs were particularly worried about the condition of some of their friends and
relatives.

"Well, dere goes da reunion."

"*sigh* I guess we can't get away from it all. I hate it when these California
earthquakes just roll over you..."

"True...but listen...it could be worse!"

As if on cue, the double doors leading into this particular room exploded open in
a violent burst of fire and broken test tubes. When the dust cleared, everyone
gasped. It was a mad doctor, chainsaw in one hand, laser in the other. Well, the
laser was somewhat useless, but the chainsaw could wreak major havoc.

"Ach, gutt evening, mein victims, er, patients! It's time for a checkup, so hold on
to your lederhosen, for Dr. Glentropy has decided to give you mein special
treatment!"

Dr. Glentropy raised his chainsaw, revving at high velocity, and lunged for the
first person he saw, namely, Lola. Soon, a chase was on, as Lola tried to outpace
the mad doctor chasing her with an archaic epidermal tissue disruptor. Quickly,
Dr. Glentropy lunged for Lola's torso...

I know what you're thinking, and no, he didn't cut that part of her clothing. So
zark off, ya bunch of turlingdromes!

Anyway, it seemed as though Dr. Glentropy was about to make mincemeat of
Lola, when suddenly he got hit by a flying mint julip. Well, it seemed to be flying,
but that's beside the point. The doctor turned around to see a fine southern
gentleman. This was, in fact, the Southerner. He was accompanied by his Scottish
half-brother, the Angry Scotsman, with his trademark cane and traditional
ridiculous appearence.

"Suh, I say suh, y'all bein' too rude to the young lady! I suggest that y'all cease an'
desist afore I sic mah half-brothah on y'all!"

"Ach, you Yankees are all alike! Why, der Fuhrer never liked you crazy
Amerikaners, so why in his name should I??"

"Tha's it, suh, you have aroused mah anger! Brothah, this is your scalawag. Whip
'im good!"

"Och, I says it's aboot time! Alright, ya mommy's boy, I'm gonna give you a
beatin' like yer ol' man never felt! Ya Germans are all alike! Take this, ya filthy
quack!"

With that, the Angry Scotsman turned his cane into a shelalah, and chucked it at
Dr. Glentropy. However, it was quickly chopped to pieces by the chainsaw. As the
doctor threw in, the Southerner decided to throw another beverage.

It exploded in a violent burst of fire. As it happened, the Southerner knew how to
make Molotov cocktails, so that was to the Angry Scotsman's advantage. He
quickly began to blast Dr. Glentropy with an elephant rifle he used when hunting.
Of course, his prey was a lot faster, and therefore, a lot more dangerous. Dr.
Glentropy, afraid of being blown to bits by the gun's bullets, ran away, the Angry
Scotsman right behind him.

"COME BACK 'ERE, YA WEE BASTARD!!"

At this point, it should be noted that there came the sound of a hundred thousand
people going "whop," but nobody cared. Nobody cared, likewise, that they stole
the flag pole outside, blew apart a good portion of the west wing with Kill-O-Zap
beams, and promptly went "foop." The manager later suffered a nervous
breakdown, and promptly pushed aside the Pan Galatic Gargle Blaster he had
been drinking.---