Jolly Mon Sing by: Dusty Patcher (E-mail to Link64@hiline.net) (Well, I actually have to credit this story to Jimmy Buffett, because he wrote\performs the song I'm stealing to write this. I'm a parrothead (Jimmy Buffett fan), and I thought this song would make a good Fan Fiction.) READER, since I am a Jimmy Buffett fan, (also because I'm kinda stealing his material) I have incorporated a lot of his music into this (All songs are Buffett's). ONE last thing (then I'll shut up *cheering sound*) This takes place as a kind of after-story to Kevin Mickel's What's in a Name? and That's a Wrap. It takes place on Buster and Bab's honeymoon (No, it is NOT that type of story, pervert!) \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ *Scene*: airport at a tropical island. Palm trees, sunset, you get the picture. A plane eases onto an old runway by an airport that is little more than a grass hut with an old prop plane beside it. Two personages emerge from the plane, one pink, the other blue. (not sad blue, BLUE blue.) Babs looks around thoughtfully, smiles and comments, "pretty isn't it?" Buster, carrying a triple armload of pink luggage (Guess whose) quipped, "Maybe if I could see it..." "What was that?" "Nothing." They proceed on foot through sandy dirt pathways up to the hotel, where Buster dumps Bab's luggage onto an unfortunate bellhop. "Would you please take these to our rooms?" he asked, trying not to allow a malicious grin spread on his face, and feeling in some way sorry that their room was on the third floor. (No elevators in grass buildings, remember?) "Well, now that that's take care of, wanna hit the beach?" asked Babs. "Why not?" Their progress takes them to a little cove, and after a few hours of swimming, they return to their hotel to change out of their wet clothing. "We won't want to miss dinner," commented Babs, "I haven't eaten since yesterday?" "Why didn't you eat on the plane?" asks Buster, then after a little thought, answers his on question, remembering the unidentifiable substance smeared across a greasy plate, and served hot (with the exception of the still-frosted center) "Yuk." "Well, you won't be hungry in a while. I hear they're having a luau tonight, and we're invited." "Any reason?" "They don't get many visitors here. We're the first in two years." "Well, let's go, then," replies Babs, dragging Buster by the wrist, "I'm starving" When they get to the dining area, (A large clearing) they seat themselves at a small table close to what appears to be a stage. Islanders are working to bring a set of steel drums (Y'know those things that look like oil barrels with the bottom pounded out, and make a really pretty plunking sound?) up to the side, and a guitar is placed to the other side of the stage, along with some islandish-looking drums you pound with your hands. "Looks like there's going to be a concert, Babsie," comments Buster. Overhearing, an islander begins a conversation by informing him, "the jolly mon is coming tonight." "And praytell," asks Babs, trying to keep the dryness from her voice, "Who is this 'Jolly-mon'?" After the moment it took him to realize that people from the USA might not know who the Jolly Mon was, the islander, feeling compelled to explain, said "He travels these islands, and he sings for us all. He is a great man. He once ran across three island just to sing for a sick little girl." (By the way, the islanders all have Jamaican accents) "When will he get here?" asked Buster. "Any hour now." "Hour?, " the asked in unison. "He runs across the islands to get where he wants to go. Unless he's had some sort of trouble, he'll get here tonight." About a half hour later, another joins them, just as the islander leaves. "Hi," said the young man, with a noticeably American accent. "Hi," they said in unison "Buster and Babs Bunny. No rel-," they broke off, looked at each other a moment, smiled, and then turned to the newcomer. "Who're you?" "My name's James Duffy," said the man of about 20 years. "You're the visitors' huh?" "Yep," answered Buster, and proudly added "And just married!" As Babs beamed at him, he furrowed his brow as a thought hit him. "Hey, I thought there were no other- uh- outsiders here." "I'm not," he replied, "I've been around here for about four years now, but I AM American." After talking a while more, James left them, mumbling something about having "something to do". As it turned out, he did. As the stage was set up and completed, a few islanders took their places at the instruments, a steel drum rippling through the crowd, as the drummer tested the tune of it. All of a sudden, the islanders quieted down. As a waiter took their now-empty plates, there was a sudden cheer from the audience, loud enough to knock Buster, who had been reclining in a non-reclinable chair, over. "Sheesh," he commented, dusting himself off, "what's with them?" Babs, fascinated, pointed to the stage, where a figure stepped into the light. It was (as if you didn't already know) James, greeted by cheers of "It's the Jolly Mon!" and "Sing a song!" He was obviously going to comply, as the band began playing the introduction. He began with a song titled Last Mango in Paris (If you'd like it, I could probably con my friend into E-Mailing it to you. Details later). Buster and Babs liked it, and the islanders obviously agreed, due to the numerous cheers. The followed up with The City, Lage Nom Ai (one of my favourites), Margaritaville, and (Of course), Cheeseburger in Paradise. He finished with Don't Chu Know? Come Monday, and Miss You So Badly. The applause was thunderous. After the concert, James walks up to the happy couple, and asks nonchalantly, "What did you think?" At this point, the connection between James and the figure on stage finally hit home, and they could only stammer out words of appreciation. It was hard to believe that the nondescript figure in grey and needing the back of his hair trimmed could be the same person that was on stage a moment ago. James laughed, self consciously plucking at the dusty grey T-shirt he wore. "Well, they're not my songs, I just sing them." Recovering her wits enough to make a jab at what appeared to be a new friend, Babs commented, "It's a pity you couldn't have sung at the wedding. You could've drowned out some of the others." she winced, remembering in particular the singing of a certain green duck... Immediately picking up on this, James and Buster simultaneously say "Watch it, pinky!" and all three laughed. "Well," began James, uneasily, "I'll let you Guys get back to your- um- honeymoon, and maybe see you tomorrow. There's a lot of beautiful places around here, and if you don't make too many jokes about my singing, I may just show them to you." Accepting the offer, Buster and Babs retired for the night. In the morning they emerge from the hotel to the sound of birds chirping, and the unmistakable *ping* of steel drums. After a breakfast of bread, fruit, and (of course carrots, they wait in the little food court for James to show up. Eventually he arrives from what appears to have been an hour of running (he must've gotten up at four thirty), he plunks himself down beside them, crams some fruit and bread down his throat, and even eats a carrot or two, they are ready. He excuses himself momentarily, and returns about ten minutes later from a shower which he was correct in assuming he needed. While they hiked past the gorgeous scenery, he was telling them of the place he had run to this morning. "It's on the other side of the island," he went on, "The waterfall comes from the cliff face, so that when you sit behind it, it looks like its falling from midair. And you should see the sunrise through it!" Then a thought strikes him, "Or sunset-- How fast can you run?" "Were rabbits, remember?" they say in unison. "Woah! Stereo. Alright, follow me!" He sets out at a grueling pace, leaping over roots over three foot high, and skipping over strategically placed stones in the creeks without either slowing or losing his balance. Buster and Babs gain a newfound respect for James, as they realize that not only are they having considerably more difficulty, but they also, as rabbits, have an advantage. *Scene shows James running, and the two bunnies trying their best to keep up while the song Take Another Road plays for this particular montage'. Finally, after what seems like (and actually has been) an hour, they break out of an area of dense vegetation onto an overlook that takes the breath away due to the altitude, the sheer drop, and the suddenness of appearance, as well as a beautiful and unimpeded view of the entire island. Whistling appreciatively, the two exhausted rabbits, and still energetic James edged carefully along the path until it passed behind a rock outcropping into a beautiful little crevice, and finally, behind James' waterfall. Excusing himself, James claimed he wanted to enjoy the view from the drop off for a while, smiling at them as he left. "You'd think *pant* that he'd at least *pant* have the common decency *pant* to be winded!" commented Buster with a little asperity. "Yeah, well-- huh?" she was distracted by a white paper fluttering by. it read: _____________________________________________________________________ | | | Hey, guys! | This is one of my favourite places to get away from it all, and after two nights | of parties, you'll probably want some peace and quiet. I left my camping | equipment here in case I needed it, but you're welcome to use it. If you need | A guide back to camp, beat the drum that's up a few levels, and I'll be there in | a half an hour. See you later, and enjoy the sunrise. I'll bring breakfast when | you send for me. Congratulations, | | | James _____________________________________________________________________ "Well that was certainly nice of him," commented Babs. "Did you see this?" "Lemme see it," he replied. "Yeah, that was nice of him. I'm kind of partied out. And he's coming all the way back from the village in the morning to-- Half an hour? It took us a full hour to get here!" For a moment they could picture the laughter in Jame's eyes, then their thoughts turned toward dinner, due to an ominous rumbling which they take as their stomachs letting them know that they've just spent a day of hard exercise on only fruit and bread. Luckily, James had left a fish trap in a nearby stream, and had a bit of ribbon leading to a grove of fruit trees. After their meal, and a suitable time to appreciate that James had planned this out for them, going so far as to run over fifteen miles total, they turned to thoughts of their lives together, an spent a pleasant night in each other's company. They woke just in time to see the waterfall turn the sunrise into a beautiful array of rainbows that filled the cavern in a watersplash dappling of colour. It was one of those warm kodak moments, as they stared out at the land that spread before them: a solid canopy of trees broken only by occasional streams and rivers flowing through it, and in the horizon, completing the picture, a volcanic mountain, giving the setting a perfect "islandish" touch. They could never make it back alone, so they were forced to call for James, who made it (Buster checked his watch, a tad envious) in twenty five minutes, (although out of breath.) "How was the *pant* sunrise, guys?" although he already knew what they would say, so as Babs affirmed pleased awe, James mouthed her exact words. Buster could not help but burst out laughing at seeing this quiet young man put one over on Babs (who was normally on the other end of this type of treatment). After apologizing profusely to Babs, he set out a pace that got them back, two of them winded, to the village in about an hour and a half. An islander ran up to James when he spotted him, and said in a low tone, "Jolly mon, Capiam says to tell you that you know who is back." "Uh oh. Party's over, guys. Have fun, and I'll see you in a while. Thanks, Nordstrom!" "Be careful, James!" the islander called back to him. Thoroughly confused, Buster and Babs asked the islander, Nordstrom, what was going on. "I have (remember, because of his accent, Nordstrom wouldn't use "I've" when speaking English) known James ever since he came here and his parents were killed." Shock started the two into staring, wide eyed after their new friend in sympathy. "It was four years ago," Nordstrom continued, "when his father brought them here for a 'vacation' that was supposed to keep him away from someone who was trying to kill him. He worked for the um-- FBI? Yes, that's it, FBI, and he brought his family here, but the men found him. We do not know his name, but only James can identify him. He has killed many, and can only get away with it if James is gone." (notice the plot visibly thinning) "James would want you to enjoy your honeymoon, so I suggest you do so. Not much bothers the Jolly Mon! If you need me, I'll be around." "Wait, one question," Babs piped up, "who's Capiam?" The islander turned, and replied "He took care of James," before walking away. On their dresses in the hotel they found a note from James reading: (If you don't mind, I'm not going to bother to make it look like paper this time) Hi, guys! Sorry about all that's happened. It hasn't been much of a trip for you guys, and I Apologise for that. Something's come up. You guys just enjoy the rest of your vacation, and I'll be back after I get a little matter cleared up. Best wishes, James P.S. If you need anything, just ask Nordstrom. After a moment, Buster speaks. "So we can either do the sensible thing, and stay out of it like all the people who are involved have told us, and continue our vacation in a beautiful tropical island, or we can see what's up. So?" he turns to Babs. She walks over to my computer terminal, and, after a moment, states, "Not much of an ending, guess we'll have to put our vacation on hold and go save this guy's writing career." I responded, "Thanks a lot, guys! Sorry about all this." "Don't mention it." So, asking directions every few miles, they eventually came to an old wood and grass thatch house that the islanders said belonged to Capiam. They knocked tentatively on the door, and an older man, whose appearance is haggard from unaccustomed seriousness, invites them in, and sets them at the same table as James, who attempts to rise, were it not for Capiam's wizened hand on his shoulder. "Hey, you guys should be enjoying yourselves. Why aren't you?" Babs is about to say something about 'hack writers' when I type in, "We're your friends, and we're here to help you." She glares at me, then turns her attention back to the story. "But," James protests, "what can you guys do? Why should you even get involved in something this dangerous? This is a guy who's spent eight years just to invent a weapon that can kill up to forty people, and still fit in a travel bag." "Sounds like your friendly neighborhood psycho, to me," quipped Buster, "What do you think we should do, Babsie?" She was spinning around, signaling that a change of appearance, and, quite often, personality, was imminent. She re-appeared, armed to the teeth, and said in an Austrian accent, "Ve Beet Heez puny weakling head een." "Seriously, guys," interjects James, "knock it off. This is serious." Babs deflated back to normal, and attempted to look contrite, but failing as her last weapon, a large blade, falls to the floor. "Watch it with that knife, Babsie!" Buster warned. Unable to remain too glum, James pulled an ornamental machete from the wall, and in an Australian (Not Austrian, there is a difference) accent, said, "That's not a knife," enjoying his own impression of Paul Hogan, he thrust it into the floor beside the knife Babs dropped. "That's a knife!" "*Ahem*," Capiam cleared his throat, "If you are quite finished, can we get on with this?" Suddenly serious, they nodded their heads in unison, giving the elder man their attention. "If we simply report them, they'll get away as always, so we have to find a way to simply hide James until they are either caught or leave." "I am not going to hide again," protested James, obviously continuing a debate, left off for a year or more. "Yes, you will. I did not say," he held up a finger, "that you had to like it, but you will do so." He said this with such authority that James subsided. "and I would appreciate it," he continued, "if you took someone with you. Maybe your friend Nordstrom..." he mused. "We'll go, too!" the rabbits piped up. "It might be nice to get some more peace and quiet," commented Buster. "And see some more of these islands!" added Babs. "So it's settled," finished Capiam. "James, these two are guests on this island, and since you know them the best, you are obligated to be their tour-guide." James said "And to your left is an outnumbered singer," without any tone of voice. The next day, four figures (Nordstrom had joined them) waved goodbye to Capiam, vowing to report back in a week. After admonishments to be careful were exchanged, the four headed off at a run, three of whom were having difficulty keeping up. They finally, by use of a sky-bridge someone had built ages ago between the islands, connecting then about halfway up the volcanic mountains, they made it to a pretty little clearing where an old trio of cabins sat, complete with a fire pit, grille, shower building, and a little spring with a basin built around it. "We're here!" called James, waiting about five, six, maybe fifteen minutes for the others to catch up. "What do you think?" "Very *Pant* nice, James." complimented the new couple. "Hey James *pant*," accused Nordstrom, "think you could *pant* slow down a little?" "Not a chance," he grinned. "Let's get settled in." The rabbits got the large cabin while James and Nordstrom took the two smaller ones. Nordstrom fishing out a book, and Babs admiring her ring, after polishing off a bit of dust. All of a sudden, James began to sing Cheeseburger in Paradise again. An infectios tune, the others could not help but joining in with "I like mine with lettuce and tomato, Heinz57 and French fried potatoes, A big kosher pickle and a cold *rootbeer*, good God almighty, which way do I steer?" (A line from the song, intended more to be shouted than sang.) All laughing, they ended the day with a dinner of fire-cooked fish (and some conveniently appearing carrots) and retired for the night, after James had sung Banana Republics, A Priate Looks at 40, Island, and The Weather is Here, Wish You Were, Beautiful. *Cut to a scene of Capiam working at a desk at midnight, and old clock quietly ticking away. An islander knocks at the door, and Capiam looks up at him silently, but with a 'yes, what is it?' expression on his face. "The authorities can find nothing. It's been two days now. Do you think the men have maybe gone?" "Don't know. Let's wait just to be on the safe side." Sighing, he goes bach to work. *Cut back to the camp on the little volcanic island where the four are staying. "Looks like its going to rain," commented James. "better get the fish traps, or we won't have anything to eat." Nordstrom calls after, "Wait! it's better if I come too. Be careful, guys!" he adds as an afterthought before dashing off after James. "Well, Babs, what do you want to do today--" he cut off his sentence, as he turned and saw Babs, complete with a dredlocks haircut and an oversized, multicoloured shirt, humming the tune to Off to See the Lizard to herself. "Very funny." James had reached the fish trap just as the storm broke, pouring water down in an unmerciful torrent upon the two runners. It did not help that Nordstrom had to catch his breath before he could move on. James, who wanted to be back in the cabins, (especially after lightning bolts began to rain down) decided to get home ASAP. "And besides," he thought to himself, "Nordstrom knows the way." He reached the end of the island bridge, flying down it, and across to the other side. Just as he was about to head off into the trees along the path that lead back to the camp, he thought he heard something. He paused, and attempted to listen over the now-frequent blasts of thunder. Just as he was about to dismiss it as his imagination, and head back, he saw a glimmer of light below him, out at the ocean. Then he heard a faint sound; someone shouting for help. He could have ignored it. Chances of surviving in a voat in a tropical storm like this were slim to none. The chances of rescuing someone were even less. The logical thing wouldv'e been to get help, then come back, which was exactly why he didn't. He ran back to the little boat that he used to check the fish traps, passing a muddy, winded Nordstrom on the way, kept on going, and finally reached the boat. He paddled out to the area below the island bridge to where he saw the light, and looked around frantically throught the sheets of rain to find something. He eventually located another flicker of light, and made his way toward it, his arms exhausted and feeling almost too heavy to lIft. He made it finally to the light, and the prow of his little boat hit the side of what was clearly a larger vessel. He called out, "Here! Over here! Get out if you can!" Unfortunately, the men inside were still just fine, as was, upon closer inspection, their vessel. Emerging from the cabin was a familiar, albeit older face that James recognized in shock. No one was in trouble. It was a trap. As Buster and Babs were settling dow to a nice hot dinner with the rain pounding outside, making a pleasant drumming sound on the cabins, a muddy, exhausted figure burst in. "Nordstrom!" they said simeltaneously, "What happened to you?" "It's *gasp* James!" was all he could get out before motioning them to follow. They head out the door and race down the mud that remains where the path used to be. When they reach the bridge, Nordstrom attempts to explain what he saw, but it takes a few minutes to get an understandable account from the exhausted and hysterical islander. "They just tossed him overboard! No one could swim through that!" he pointed frantically to the storm swept waves, rolling across the ocean in the winds of the tropical storm. "We have to help him!" "There's no way," replied Buster in the kindest tone possible for having to shout over the waves, "unless you plan on growing fins." An idea strikes him, and he dashes off. Figuring he's gone mad, the two rabbits start to follow him, stopping long enough to glare at my screen and say "Some honeymoon!" (I promised to re-erite a second one, but it will be someplace restful and quiet, so you guys probably won't want to read it.) Nordstrom finally drops to the ground, only to come up again with a shell. He puts it to his mouth, and blows a clear note that is heard far, even over the storm. Turning to the two rabbits, now looking like twin muddy furballs (furballs, not Furrball), he explains, "Dolphins! We train them! They can find him!" Shaking their heads, they attempt to gently lead him out of the surf. Just then, Babs shrieks. "EWWW! Something just hit my leg!" Nordstrom has obviously lost it, because he is jumping up and down, babbling about dolphins, when a large figure rears up out of the water, scaring the two rabbits out of their wits. It's a dolphin. "Find the Jolly Mon!" cries Nordstrom, pointing out to the waves, "Bring him here!" In the morning, the storm having subsided, Buster and Babs woke to what was obviously going to turn into sweltering heat as the day progressed. Nordsrom, quietly staring out to the sea, waits for anything to show up on the horizon, mumbling to himself, "We trained them well. They will come back with or without him, Then we will know. We trained them well." Moved by sympathy, Buster and Babs attempt to console him while they wait. *Cut to a scene of the ocean, where a limp James floats, barely alive. He feels something under his hand. Something smooth, like a-- like a fin! The dolphins! He was barely conscious enough for this thought to register, let alone carry any significance. But he somehow managed to force his stiff, tired hand to hold onto the dorsal fin of the little, light grey dolphin. He was barely aware that the water under him had turned to gravelly sand, and that the dolphin left him where he was slowly drying out. Actually, there were two dolphins who had rescued him. Thae were too young, and, consequently, had to take turns carrying the weight. Unfortunately, they had not been throuh complete training, and as a result, they could only communicate that James was safe, but needed "land people's" help, now. "Wonderful," said Nordstrom, viciously pleasant, then to himself "It would have to be Dart and Kale that found him. The only ones I haven't finished training yet." "But he's safe!" interjected Babs. "Go get help. We'll find James, C'mon, blue boy! The sooner this is over, the sooner we can get bach to our honeymoon!" (one more vicious look at me for good measure before they head into the cold water) Taking Kale and Dart by the dorsal fins, they wave goodbye-and-good luck to Nordstromand hold on for the ride. Being rabbits, the dolphins could carry them without much trouble (as rabbits are considerably lighter than 130 pounds of dead weight [the term dead used loosely]). After two hours of riding the dolphins, (although a lot of fun), it was determined that it was unproductive, and asking for "James" did not seem to merit any reaction "Okay, Buster," admits Babs, "we aren't getting anywhere. Let's head in." "Sorry, Babsie, but we can't say we didn't try," then, speaking out to the ocean, he waves and says, "Goodbye, Jolly Mon," using the islander's name for him. The result is a shocking reaction by the two dolphins. They begin to squeak, and motion back and forth, all but drowning their two passengers, and head off in what appears to be a determined direction. After a while though they stop, and begin to play. "This is great," comments Buster, "At this rate, we'll get there in time to bury him!" "Maybe they just get distracted easily," says Babs, thinking out loud, "Let's try something." Then to the dolphins, she says, "Find Jolly Mon!" The same response as last time. They kept on going for another hour or two, reminding the dolphins of their goal every ten to twelve minutes, until finally they made it to one of the smaller volcanic islands on the edge of the group, about seven miles from the island where they had began this whole trip. Back at the island, Capiam was very pleased. The authorities had fished some men out of a sinking ship in the middle of the storm. It had been the men who had been responsible for the deaths of James' family. As Nordstrom burst in he smiled with satisfaction, while saying, "Nordstrom! Good to see you! Get James, and we can put someone away who deserves it for a very long time." Then he saw Nordstrom's face. "What's wrong?" "You have a witness to a murder. But James isn't it, not the witness, anyway." Puzzling that out in his head, he had finally come to a conclusion, and sat down heavily looking up at Nordstrom's pained face. "Y-You mean?" "I saw the whole thing. They tossed him overboard in the storm. Kale and Dart found him, and he's on an island somewhere." Hope flared in the old man's eyes, "But then he's alive!" "If Buster and Babs can find him in time. Get a search party going. I'll see what I can do." Meanwhile, it wasn't hard to find James, once they had reached the island, and after the two had forced fruit and water down his throat, he sat up weakly, and said, "Hi, guys! Sorry 'bout your vacation." before he managed to fall asleep. "Let's get him on to something to help get him out of this sun," said Babas as she set to work hauling out two plant stalks, "lay some branches across these, and cover them with leaves to cushion them." "Otherwise," quipped Buster, "He'll get a stick up his--" "Buster..." she warned, "Just get to work." After they had gotten the unconscious James into the relative cool of the shade, they began to search the little island for food. By the time they had returned, James was recovered enough to be awake and coherent. He apologised profusely for what was obviously going to be a honeymoon to remember (though not with what could be termed fond memories). "Don't worry about it," Buster interrupted him before he could actually begin to berate himself, "It's not like it was your fault. As a matter of fact, you did the best you could to make sure nothing went wrong." "And," cut in Babs, "you don't need to be worrying about much of anything at this point. Get some rest, and we'll see you in the morning." "I'm feeling a lot better," James looked up at them from his pallet, "You guys could enjoy your trip here, as much as possible, anyway," he amended, "I can take care of myself now." "Thoughtful of you," said Buster kindly, "But you're in no shape to be alone." Pulling himself up as much as possible, and attempting to affect as much health and dignity as was possible for his sore body, James said half teasingly, "I'll have you know I've taken care of myself for the past year or more traveling around these islands, and I'm perfectly capable of doing so now!" "The effect of his pose was ruined, however, when he winced, and sat down to catch his breath. Thay all burst out laughing, and it was determined that one of them would check on him from time to time, and the rest of the time they all had privacy, James for recuperation, and Buster and Babs to try to recover what was left of their shattered honeymoon. After a day on the island, as the sun was about to set, they heard on the beach a staedily growing clamor, at first dismissing it, then, as they realized what they were hearing, began to run (or in James' case, limp) toward the beach. It was the dolphins, and Nordstrom and Capiam were with them. After the primary warm greetings, and cautious back-slapping was finished, James began to tell his old friends what had happened, and Buster and Babs decided to leave them alone to catch up on what was going on. They hiked up a dirt path to the forest which led to a little island lake, fed by fresh water from a spring of some sort. "Anyone for a swim?" asked Buster, although Babs is the only one there. Obviously she agreed, because she has already done that spin-change thing, and is in a bathing suit in the water, "C'mon in! The water's fine!" He placed his foot gingerly into the edge of the pool and withdrew it, encased in a block of ice (although how this is possible in a tropical climate is beyond me) and replied, "Ummm, I just remembered I'm allergic to the water." "Oh, get in here, you big baby! It's not that cold!" She didn't give him the opportunity to decline his own invitation, but rather grabbed his foot and yanked it out from under him, causing him to fall into the pool. *Fresh Prince of Bel Air impression of charachter Will Smith* "So ya wants to go ingly, "Well take this!" She winds up, and pushes a large spray of water directly at Buster, who, of course, can't get out of the way, and gets completely soaked, causing his fur to hang down in limp strands, like a drowned rat. "Looks like you're all wet!" Babs quipped. "Also looks like you've run dry on original comments," he returned, splashing her viciously, but good naturedly. In the ensuing water fight, they didn't notice they had acquired an audience, and when they heard Capiam tentatively clear his throat behind him, they both stopped, and looked embarassed at their childish behaviour, their fur turning matching shades of red. "Do not stop," said Nordstrom, looking deadly serious, "I have money on Babs!" Capiam snorted, then walked off, Nordstrom trailing after, calling back, "Almost time to leave!" Buster, industriously drying off with a towel, looked sourly over at Babs, who had done that spinning thing again, was in dry, clean clothes. "You'll have to teach me how you do that someday," he said over his shoulder. "Only if you behave," she quipped back. They couldn't take James all the way back to the island, due to his weakened condition, but about a hundred to a hundred and forty islanders decided to come to the island he was on at the time, where he was to rest a day or two before making his return journey in small twenty mile stages every other day. On the fourth day, (on the second island) there was another profound shock. About midday, a boat pulled into the beach, and two passengers disembarked. One was a girl of about eighteen, and the other was a man who looked familiar somehow, but it was a good familiar. (The men who tried to kill James had earlier, they learned, attempted to jump ship on the way to the United States. They never made it back. A fitting end to them, if you ask me). The older man made his way to Buster and Babs, greeting them in a friendly sort of way, kind of like an old uncle one rarely sees. He politely asked where he could find a "Captain Ian Duffy" "Sorry," said Buster, "we don't know a Captain Ian." "Wait!" exclaimed Babs as the old man prepared to leave, then turning to Buster, said, "Isn't James' last name Duffy?" "Come to think of it, Babsie, it is, but he's too young to be a captain." Turning to the old man, he said, "But if you'd like to see James, just ask Capiam there to take you to him." he pointed out the old man chatting amiably to some islanders, Nordstrom hovering close by. As the old man walked up to Capiam, he squinted at him and asked with incredulity, "Ian?" Startled, Capiam turned to face the old man, and his jaw dropped, "Marcus?! Is it you?!" "Ian, you old goat, how ya been? The years haven been kind to you!" he said, roughly embracing the old man. Then stepped back, "It's been a long time." "Uh," asked Babs tentatively, "Would someone mind letting us in on this? What's going on?" "That's what I'd like to know." James had limped out, looking on the scene with a combination of warmth, confusion, and humor. "James?" asked the older man, with almost proprietary pride, "is this little James Duffy? Don't you remember me? NO, I guess you wouldn't, but didn't Ian ever--" he broke off as a thought hit him. "You didn't tell him, did you?" "I thought it best not to. Guess I was waiting for now." James, more than a little confused at his guardian of four years discussing familiarities with a strange old man, demanded, "Will someone tell me what is going on?" "James," said the old man, fixing his eyes with a serious look, "you're looking at your uncle. Uncles, actually. I am your father's brother, Marcus Duffy," then he turned with good humor to Capiam, "And this wizened old goat is Captain Ian Duffy, the oldest in the family." "Don't rub it in, Marc," he said sourly "What's with the Capiam thing, anyway?" "The islanders couldn't pronounce 'Captain'!" As James stared at them, incredulously, the two old men cackled with laughter. That night, they had explained to him how they had tried to hide him from his father's enemies, and that was why they'd dropped the family name. "If someone asks, they can pronounce 'Ian Duffy' perfectly well. That's why I was 'Captain' or more popularly 'Capiam'." Buster and Babs watched on as they introduced the young woman, who turned out to be James' cousin. "Heartwarming, isn't it?" she asked, to which Buster placed his index finger in the back of his throat. "Very funny, wiseguy. Well, at least we can finally get back to our honeymoon!" But as he prepared to plant a kiss on her, someone cleared their throat from the general direction behind them. "*Ahem!* sorry to interrupt but--" "Who're you?" they asked simeltaneously of the grey clad, brown haired, unassuming figure. "Umm, perhaps you should open this before I tell you," he said, holding out an envelope. Inside were two first class airline tickets to the Caribbean islands. "Told ya' I'd make up for all of this," said (for all practical purposes, we'll call me *Dusty, and it's my story, so I can write myself in if I want to!) Torn between appreciation for the tickets, and anger at the one person who had singlehandedly put them through all of this, they scuffed their feet, trying to decide what to do. The appreciation won out, because *Dusty was one of those people who you just can't stay angry with, standing there scuffing one foot in the dirt. "Oh! And I've arranged a surprise for you, on the next stop!" "What?" they both asked. "If I told you," he began. "We know," they interrupted, in a nasal, sing-song pair of voices, "then it wouldn't be a surprise." *Dusty lived up to his word. On the next island, which had been carefully outfitted with ribbons and crepe paper waited all their friends, Plucky, Shirly, Fifi, Hamton, Furrball, Calamity, and any others whose name I may have forgotten, (Although it should be noted that I left the one girl, what's her name, who kills animals with 'love', behind.") "Surprise!" "And," *Dusty added, "Since James is feeling better, maybe he can provide us with a song!" Although haggard looking, James appeared to be enjoying himself, and sang well into the evening. Everything taken care of, James, who would continue to live in the islands with his newfound family, was happily taking requests, and frequent breaks to rest, as well as amiably chat with the islanders and the happy couple. Everyone wishes them well, (and better luck on this vacation) as James finishes, and agrees to sing Volcano for a little girl, a mischevious glint coming into both his and *Dusty's eyes. "What's up with you two?" asks Capiam (Let's keep it simple by keeping Capiam as his name). "Watch this," they simeltaneously instruct him, as James prepares to sing the final song. *Dusty leans over and whispers, "We rigged the mountain with some cheap fireworks. Volcano is the perfect song to toss a scare into the tiny toons with," (the natives would know an eruption from cheap pyrotechnics) "And the best part is that that girl picked it by pure coincidence!" It went spectacularly, aside from having to extract a certain green duck from under a bench, and prevent Buster and Babs from reaching *Dusty with a convenient set of fish knives (they were still a little miffed), and the applause was as thunderous as the simulated explosion. Determined to exit them with a final flourish, (and clear his debt once and for all) *Dusty whipped out a crossbow pistol and a crossbow bolt with a thin cable attatched. He fired it at the mast of the ship waiting to carry off Buster and Babs, secures a cord so as to slide along the one leading to the boat. Carrying Babs in his arms, Buster took the cord from *Dusty and slid, pirate-fashion down the cord, and onto the ship waiting to take them to the airport, a chorus of cheers and two plaintive "Sorry 'bout all this"'s following them, one James', standing next to his pretty cousin, and one *Dusty's, who still looked remorseful. As they reached the deck, they waved goodbye, and vowed to visit James and the islands again, and to see the rest back home in about two weeks. The boat (of course) sailed off into the sunset, the sails visible as silhouettes, perfectly shading the spectacular sunset. The End No Rights Reserved, Except for all the songs, (which are Jimmy Buffett's). I strongly recommend listening to Volcano, Jolly Mon, and all the others. If you liked it, thanks! If you didn't, who cares what you think? Finally, since I'm sure I broke a few CopyRights, I'm not putting my name on this thing, so I'm leaving it up to you guys to distribute. And if Jimmy Buffett gets ahold of this (Yeah, Right) hope you liked my lame attempt at a story!! *And if anyone wants to compliment me, drop by the chatroom #!!!!tinytoons and start talking about AAJman.TXT, and I'll hear about it. Big brother is watching you. (Reference to George Orwell's book, 1984, which I've never read, but always meant to. Never mind.)