- Sadie Hawkins Day -
Another Tiny Toons fanfiction

June, 1997

by Earl Allison
eallison@tiac.net

As always, all characters, with the exception of Willy Wolf and his
family are the copyrighted properties of Amblin Entertainment and
Warner Brothers. We give thanks to the mighty WB for not suing!
I hope you all enjoy this!


	Willy was in trouble again.  Fifi had wrapped herself around
the little wolf, showering his face and ears with kisses.
	"Do not resist, mon petite wolf!  Zhis was meant to be!" she
exclaimed, assaulting him with another barrage of kisses.
	Willy struggled helplessly, trapped by the sexy skunkette.
Unlike their previous encounter in Paris, it seemed that there were
no end credits to save him this time.  His attention was attracted by
a new sensation.  Fifi was nibbling on his ear.
	"Oh!  Fifi, please ... stop," he protested mildly.  Still
wrapped in her long tail, he continued to struggle helplessly.
"I hardly know *oh* you, please *ouch!*"  That last nibble
HURT!  He renewed his struggles more forcefully as she began
to constrict like an anaconda, crushing the life out of him.  "Fifi,
let go, you're hurting me!" he pleaded.
	"Non!  If you weel not be mine, zhen no one can 'ave you!"
she retorted nastily, a wicked glint in her eyes.
	The pain was increasing.  Fifi wasn't playing anymore.  She
was biting him as she tightened her tail, growling as she yanked at
his ear.
	Willy sat straight up in bed, eyes wide.  The pain and tightness
was still there.  It was then that he noticed little John clinging tenaciously
to his ear, growling and snarling through gritted fangs.  The little terror
was perched on his brother's shoulder, arms wrapped around Willy's
neck, slowly choking his air off.  Even worse, it looked like little John
was still sleeping, and couldn't hear him.
	"Get *ack* off, John!" Willy screamed, trying to dislodge the
miniature monster.  It was no use, John had too good a grip, and
wasn't letting go.  In desperation, Willy reached for a baseball bat,
and his bedroom door opened.
	"William Wolf, what are you doing to little Johnathan?" his
mother accused.  She was standing in the doorway wearing a robe,
fuzzy slippers, and lots of hair curlers (even in her tail).  At her
appearance, John awakened and dislodged himself, shrinking
back from the bat in terror.
	"Me?  But Mom, he ATTACKED me!" Willy pleaded.
"He was choking and biting me!  Why won't you ever listen?"
	Mrs. Wolf sighed, then walked into the room and picked
John up.  "Oh Willy, you always say that John is doing something
to you.  Mom, John bit me.  Mom, John poured salt in my cereal.
Mom, John tried to murder me in my sleep.  Honestly, you'd think
your brother was a criminal mastermind or something."
	"But he DID!  He did all those things!  OK then how did
he get in here?" Willy retorted.
	"Your father let him out earlier, so he could crawl around.
He probably crawled in here to snuggle with his big brother, and
he just had a bad dream."  She then jounced little John, who giggled
innocently.  "Now, couldn't that be right?" she asked.
	Willy mumbled something unintelligible.
	"What was that?" Mrs. Wolf asked, her voice hovering
between annoyance and anger.
	"Yes, Mom, I must have dreamed it," Willy relented,
looking suitably chastened.
	"That's better," she said, nodding.  "Now, get cleaned
up and dressed for school.  You don't want to be late for school,
do you?"
	"No, Mom." Willy replied.  This was just as bad as last
night's dream, except then, it was Shirley who had been all over
him.  When he resisted *her*, she zapped him with electricity,
and he awoke to find "innocent" little John plugging his tail into
a wall socket.  Mom hadn't believed him then, either.
	Willy dashed into the bathroom to get ready.  First, he
took a bath, and shook himself dry.  He then got his industrial
sized toothbrush, put some 'FANG GLEAM' toothpaste on it
(*4 out of 5 bite victims agree; 'FANG GLEAM' makes fangs
their whitest!*), and got to work cleaning his impressive array
of choppers.  He then got dressed.
	For Willy, dressed meant a clean blue football jersey
and a shiny pair of red sneakers.  Gathering up his books, he
stuffed them into a small backpack with a sketchpad and some
pencils.
	He then came into the kitchen, got his lunch and stuffed
it in his backpack, and sat down for a quick bowl of cereal and
milk.  After wolfing down his food (and grinning at the awful play
on words), he raced out the door to go to school.
	Acme Looniversity was a great place to learn, especially
after he and the others all got acclimated, but Shirley and Fifi were
really overdoing it.  He had tried to find ways to escape them, but
nothing ever worked.  Plucky was constantly offending Shirley, so
she felt justified in chasing the little wolf, and Fifi chased any boy
she thought she might catch,  Hamton's recent romantic entanglements
with a seductive waterfowl he met in Florida didn't help to curb the
sexy skunkette's antics any, either.  Fifi had taken Hamton's straying
as an open invitation to go back to her boy-hunting ways, and poor Willy
was her prey.  Babs had offered what seemed to be the only solution,
just pick one.
	Willy had wanted to avoid that, largely because he wasn't sure
*what* he wanted, although he was fairly certain that it wasn't to be
pulled apart by two cute girls!  He also hadn't wanted to risk splitting
up such good friends by picking one over the other, and his indecision
seemed to make things worse.
	As he arrived at the steps of the Looniversity, he saw Buster
and Babs walking towards him.
	"Hiya, Buster, Babs!" he said, smiling and waving.
	"Hi, Willy!" Buster greeted.
	Babs smiled.  "Ready for the big test in Cartoon Physics?"
she asked.
	"Yeah, I'm ready.  Um, Buster?"
	"What is it, Willy?"
	"Do you think Mister Popular could help me out?"
	"If you mean telling you who to date, then, Willy, I wish I
had your problem." Buster grinned.
	It was cut short by the impact of a large mallet, driving the
blue bunny into the ground like a tent-peg.  "Care to repeat that?"
Babs said, frowning.
	An unsteady voice answered from the impact crater,
"Nothing, dear!"
	"That's better!  Now look, Willy, you gotta make a choice.
Which girl do you want to go out with?"
	"I dunno, I mean, Fifi's really romantic, but she's, well ...
stinky when she loses control.  Shirley is nice too, and not nearly
as aggressive, but she's really, really weird sometimes.  I just don't
know what to do!" he wailed.
	Babs was about to speak when she saw something posted
on the bulletin board at the door.  "Hey, look at that!" she exclaimed,
pointing.
	The poster read as follows:
	'SADIE HAWKINS DANCE FRIDAY NIGHT
	7PM - 10PM
	LOONIVERSITY CAFETERIA
	DATE CHASE THURSDAY AT 3PM
	PRIZES AWARDED'
	"Hunh?" Buster asked, looking confused.
	Willy just shrugged.  "Don't look at me, I only go to school
here."
	Babs  frowned.  "Sheesh!  Guys are sooo ignorant!  It's a girl
thing.  Girls ask the guys, and the chase just makes it more fun!"
	"What kind of chase?" Willy asked.
	"Well, the guys get a head start, run like the dickens, and we
girls hunt you down!"  Babs twirled into a safari outfit complete with
pith helmet and large butterfly net.  "It'll be fun!"
	A beam of light from the clouds enveloped the wolf as a
heavenly choir started playing in the background.  Willy's expression
immediately brightened, and he began to jump up and down.  "I'm
free!  Yahoo!!!  I'm free!  I don't have to choose!"
	Buster grabbed the hyperactive wolf's shoulder, calming him
down.  "Um, Willy, take a minute and think, okay?"  The choir music
abruptly stopped, and the heavenly light winked out.
	"What about?"
	"There's your comedy." Babs added.
	"Rope it in, Babs.  Willy, I mean, think.  Fifi *and* Shirley
are going to be chasing you now.  Doesn't that sound like a problem
to you?" Buster asked.
	The wolf's expression changed as his little brow furrowed in
concentration.
	"You can almost hear the wheels turning, can't you?" Babs
asked sarcastically.
	First Willy looked thoughtful, then more thoughtful, then a
look of understanding crossed his muzzle, only to be replaced by
the fear of total comprehension.  He was doomed!
	Almost as if on cue, Fifi and Shirley walked by, stopping
as they noticed the poster.
	"Like, how totally karmic!  I just know we're destined to
be together!" Shirley exclaimed, hugging one of Willy's arms.
	"I do not zhink so, loon!" Fifi warned, grabbing his other
arm protectively.  "Zis leetle wolf, he ees mine!"
	Willy, trapped between the two, twirled around, breaking
the holds the girls had on him.  When he came to a stop, he was
wearing a dusty old jacket, a battered fedora, and a crucifix, which
he brandished like a weapon.  He had been practicing his Van
Wolfing impression for just such an occasion.
	"Back!  Back, I say!  The cross will keep you at bay!"
he said.
	Both Fifi and Shirley shrank back, pulling dark capes in
front of them and hissing angrily, baring their fangs.  Buster and
Babs looked on in shock, blinking in amazement.  Buster finally
regained his composure, and, steeling himself for the awful puns,
asked a question.
	"Willy, what are you doing?"
	"Using the cross," he beamed happily.  "It keeps vamps
away!"
	Buster put his head in his hands.  "No, Willy, it only works
on *vampires*, not vamps, and I don't think they qualify for that,
do you?"
	"Fifi's a vamp in training, isn't she?" Willy asked.
	Buster just looked at him, tapping a foot in annoyance.
	Willy turned back to his normal self, ears drooping.  "No,
I guess not." he sighed.
	Meanwhile, the girls had also recovered, looking more
than a bit annoyed with things.  Babs was trying to calm them
down.
	"Take it easy, girls.  Willy doesn't know any better,
right?"
	Both girls nodded, smiling at the little wolf.
	"Oui, vous are right.  It ees okay, Willy, we forgive
vous." Fifi said, hugging him.
	Shirley followed suite.  "Yeah, like, don't sweat it, or
some junk.  Sometimes we *all* get carried away."  She hugged
the little wolf as well.
	"Like, I just got a totally mondo cool idea, Fifi!  How
about, like, whoever catches Willy, gets to keep him, 'kay?"
Shirley suggested.
	Fifi was quick to respond.  "All right, winnair take all!"
	Both girls shook hands and walked off, giggling.
	"Buster?" Willy asked.
	"Yeah, Willy?"
	"Why me?  I mean, I'm not mean or rotten or anything,
what did I do?"
	"Like I said, I wish I had your problems.  Cheer up,
Friday night it'll all be over, right?"  As he said this, he
watched cautiouly, to make sure Babs hadn't heard him.
	Willy smiled.  "Yeah, I guess you're right.  One way
or the other, no more chases, no more having to play dead in
the hall until they go away, no more ..."
	"We get it, Willy.  We get it," Babs added.
	Classes were fairly uneventful, but the lunchroom was
abuzz with talk of the dance.
	Plucky was being annoying, as usual.  "No problem,
Shirl, I'll slow down and let you catch me."
	"Like, dream on, duck-toad." she replied, taking another
bite of her mung bean tofu dip.
	"C'mon Shirl!  A guy like me could get snatched up fast,
y'know!" he retorted.
	Shirley just ignored him.
	Plucky, never one to take a hint, continued.  "Look Shirl!
If you don't start treating me with the reverence and homage I
deserve, I might have to look for another girl!"
	"Like, promise?" she asked, her voice dripping with
sarcasm.
	"Hey!  Don't think I couldn't!" he retorted.
	Willy winced inwardly.  Plucky's comments weren't
helping.  If the duck treated Shirley better, she might forget all
about Willy, but that wasn't going to happen anytime soon.  Time
to check option B.
	"Hamton?"
	"What is it, Willy?" Hamton asked between huge gulps of
food.
	"Whatever happened to the girl from Spring Break?" he
asked.
	"Oh, her?  She's going to be coming here for the dance!
I got special approval from Bugs Bunny himself!" Hamton said
proudly, displaying an official-looking document.
	"D'oh!"  Willy drooped again.   "What about Fifi?" he
asked.
	"Oh, there are plenty of other boys out there.  If you're
looking for my permission ..."
	"No!  I was just ... concerned, that's all." he lied.
	"Oh, I see.  Here comes Fifi now." Hamton said.
	Looking up, Willy's eyes bugged out of their sockets,
his tongue trailed out of his mouth (and halfway down the aisle),
and he howled uncontrollably.
	Fifi sashayed over to the table, wearing a sheep costume
comprised of a small cap with ears, a slinky one-piece, and little
mittens and slippers, all covered in wool.  She smiled and batted
her lashes at the hormonally charged wolf.  "Bonjour, mon petite
wolf."
	Instead of answering, Willy howled again, leapt to his feet,
and began chasing the sexy skunkette around the table.  She was
giggling as she ran, slowing until he was nearly able to catch her,
and then speeding up again.
	As the others looked on in shock, Shirley frowned at the
pair.  Reaching back, she pulled a huge mallet out of the air, and
brought it crashing down on Willy, imbedding him in the floor.
Then, she grabbed Fifi's arm and hauled her into the girls' room.
	"Willy, you okay?" Babs asked, looking concerned.
	A woozy voice responded, "Just call me Fluffy," before
he passed out.
	"He's fine." Buster said, helping the wolf off of the floor.
	"What happened?" Plucky asked.
	"I dunno.  I saw Fifi's outfit, and I just lost it!" Willy
exclaimed.
	Buster smiled.  "Those wolf instincts run deep, I guess."
	Babs looked towards the ladies' room, where Shirley
was returning with a suitably chastened Fifi in tow, now devoid
of clothing (as she usually was).  A nudge from the loon elicited
a response from the French skunk.
	Looking down at her feet, tail swishing back and forth,
Fifi spoke.  "Willy, I am tres sorry.  Zhe loon 'as told moi how ...
wrong ... moi was.  Please forgive moi?"
	"Sure, Fifi.  I forgive you.  I don't know what came over
me."
	Buster leaned towards Babs and whispered.  "Well, at
least we know what to buy him for a wedding present, Babsie!"
	Babs just smiled back.
	After a few moments, everything was back to normal.
Everyone was chatting about the events of the day, and Willy
was trying desperately to ignore the stares he was getting from
Shirley and Fifi.
	He leaned in close to Plucky.  "Maybe if you apologize
to Shirley, she'll forgive you."
	"What!?" Plucky shouted.  "*Me* apologize!  Never!"
	Willy just put his head in his paws as the duck went on
and on about how this was all Shirley's fault.  He didn't talk for
long, though.  In a few moments, a loud KLANG silenced him.
	Looking up, Willy saw Shirley admiring her handiwork,
Plucky under a large anvil.  She had a smug grin on her lovely bill.
"Like, take that!  I wouldn't go out with you if you were the last
duck in Acme Acres!"
	"Great, just great," Willy muttered.  "How much worse
can things get?"
	Just then, Gogo Dodo popped out of the clock overhead.
"Cuckoo, cuckoo!  If you ask that, you're cuckoo!"
	Thursday afternoon came far too quickly for the little wolf.
Escape seemed impossible.  Several attempts had failed miserably,
among them a tunnel that put 'The Great Escape' to shame.  The
tunnel was a brilliant idea, but popping up in the Principal's office
was not.
	His next attempt, although more inspired, also failed.
Playing dead was a canine specialty, but Willy could do it with
the best of them.  Unfortunately, since toons didn't die, all he got
was a round of applause for his efforts.
	It seemed that Willy wasn't the only toon who tried to
avoid the event, and Arnold the Pit Bull had been hired to ensure
that *all* the boys were present for the chase.  So far, Willy hadn't
even gotten to the front door of the Loo, and had given up all hope
of escape by lunch after being zapped when he tried to scale a high-
voltage fence.  All he managed to do was get every hair to stand on
end, which was not a pretty sight.
	After lunch, the girls were taken to the assembly hall to hear
a lecture on the finer points of Man Catching, to help with the chase.
The guest lecturer, Minerva Mink, was certainly more than qualified,
having far more than her fair share of interested male suitors.
	As Minerva wiggled down the corridor towards the assembly,
leaving a trail of drooling male students behind her, Willy, Buster,
Plucky, and Hamton were all talking by a water fountain down the hall,
as much for self-preservation as for the water..  They had decided to
stay away from the seductive Mink, for fear of being pummeled later
by jealous girlfriends.
	"Aw, cheer up, Willy.  How bad can things get?" Buster
asked, trying to reassure the little wolf.
	"Yeah, it's not like Shirley and Fifi will tear you into little
pieces, right?" Plucky added.
	Willy's eyes just got a little bigger as he gulped, trying not
to picture Plucky's comment.
	Buster, noting Willy's distress, elbowed Plucky in the side.
"Thanks, Pluckster!  Willy's having a bad enough time, why don't
you just make him feel worse?"
	"What'd I say?" Plucky asked, genuinely confused.
	Willy finally spoke up.  "Is there *any* way out of this?"
	"Be a girl." Buster added helpfully.
	Willy looked to actually ponder it, shaking his head as a
picture of Wanda Wolf appeared over his head.  "Nah, there's
probably a down side I'm not seeing."
	Munching on an apple, Hamton tried to help.  "Look,
Willy, there's nothing you can do, right?"
	Willy nodded.
	"So," the pig continued, "just let things happen.  I'm sure
everything will work out in the end."
	The wolf's expression brightened.  "You're right, Hamton!
I'm not gonna let a stupid dance ruin my life!"  Striking a dramatic
pose, he shouted, "With Warner as my witness, I shall never be
whiny again!"
	Buster, Plucky, and Hamton clapped at the performance,
smiling.
	The blue rabbit leaned over to him.  "Not bad, Willy.
Been watching Babs a lot?"
	"Well, sorta.  I mean, she overacts better than anyone
else I know." Willy said, smiling.  "You're not angry, are you?"
	"Nah, I know you'll behave yourself, not like the Pluckster
over there."
	As both toons looked at him, Plucky was admiring himself
in a mirror.
	"Ah, won't Shirley be so lucky to catch me?" he asked.
	At that, all three of the others fell over laughing, clutching
their sides and rolling around.
	"Oh, *very* funny." Plucky said, his voice dripping with
sarcasm.
	After a few more minutes, the toonsters recovered, getting
up off the floor.  Willy, wiping tears from his eyes, looked back at
Plucky.  "Where are you gonna hide from Shirley?"
	"Hide?  I'm not going to hide, Willy.  I'll go to the pond, like
I always do.  She'll know where to find me."
	"Really?" Willy asked, swallowing every word Plucky fed him.
	"Sure!  Hey, who knows Shirley better than I do?" the duck
asked.
	"Her aura?" Willy answered innocently.
	"Her aura doesn't count!" Plucky snapped.  "Look, how
many waterfowl do you see here at the Looniversity?"
	"Just you and Shirley." he replied.
	"Right.  Now do you see what I mean?"
	"Not really.  I'm not a waterfowl, and Shirley keeps chasing
me." the wolf said.
	Plucky thought about that for a moment before answering.
"Let's just say I have a 'Plan B' in the works, okay?"
	With that, the four toons made their way to another assembly,
this one headed up by Bugs Bunny himself.  Who could give the boys
better tips on avoiding pursuit than the one who had eluded Elmer
Fudd for years?
	Listening intently, Willy tried to memorize every trick he heard.
Unfortunately, most of them would be of the most use to Buster.  Even
worse, Buster didn't need them!  Everyone knew that Babs would
chase Buster, he'd make a good show of it, and that the two would
show up at the dance together anyway, unless someone else actually
managed to catch him, but that was unlikely.
	Things were going far better (or worse, depending on your
point of view) at Minerva's assembly.  The girls were hanging on her
every word, especially Shirley and Fifi.  They might lack the mink's
impressive equipment, but they had wiles of their own.  With Minerva's
help, they would learn how best to use them.  Soon, the chase would
begin, and one of them, the skunkette or the loon, would claim Willy
for her own!
	At  three o'clock sharp, the toonsters were all assembled at
the steps of the Looniversity.  Gogo was dressed in the striped shirt
of a referee, holding a starting pistol.  As everyone waited, Arnold
came in dragging Montana Max behind him, kicking and screaming.
	"You can't make me go to the stupid dance!  I'm rich!  I'll
sue!" he screamed.  When this failed, he tried a different approach.
"What'll it take, ten thousand?  A million?  How about a lifetime
supply of biscuits?" Monty pleaded.
	Arnold glowered at Monty for a moment before dropping
him next to the other boys.  "Listen to me now and hear me on
Monday, vimpy little rich-boy!  You vill be in the race, ja?"
	Cowed by the massive pit bull, Monty nodded weakly,
taking a place next to the others.
	Willy smiled to himself.  He may be scared, but at least
he had his pride.  Well, that, and the fact that he was probably
faster than anyone here but Lil' Beeper.
	There were others here as well.  Some of the other Warner
Brothers toons had come to watch the race.  One figure that was
taking an interest was Wilford Wolf.
	"Oy!  That's our last, great hope for toon wolf villainy?"
Wilford asked, indicating Willy.
	"No, there is another ..." whispered a voice sounding
very much like Frank Oz.
	As the boys began to stretch and prepare for the chase,
Bugs and Minerva stepped onto a hastily assembled podium to
announce the rules, and to reveal the prizes.
	Minerva began first, taking a deep breath that sent
shudders through her torso, and riveted every male eye on her.
"Ahem, as you all know, there are prizes being awarded.  Specifically,
an all-expense paid dinner at the exclusive 'Chez Snooty' in downtown
Acme Acres, and a free limo ride to and from the dance."
	Bugs then took the mike.  "Eh, that's right, Minerva.  Da foist
goil what catches a guy gets a prize!"
	Babs raised her hand.
	"What is it, Babs?" Bugs asked.
	"What kind of incentive is that?  What'll keep the boys from
letting us catch them, or for us bothering after the first catch?" she
asked.
	Bugs looked over at Willy out of the corner of his eye, then
looked back to Shirley and Fifi, who were watching him intently.
Stifling a chuckle, he continued.  "Well, aside from some boys what
ain't real willing-like, the *last* boy to be caught wins da same prize.
How's dat?"
	The girls, as one, smiled wickedly, looking to the assembled
boys who, for an instant, became large hunks of meat to their hungry
gazes.
	Minerva stepped forward again, taking a deep breath before she
spoke (and riveting every male eye on her again).  "One more little thing,
any boy who remains free by sundown is free!  He can go to the dance with
anyone he wants, provided she hasn't already caught, er, picked, a date."
	Bugs spoke up again.  "Now, here's Gogo Dodo, da referee,
to explain a few ground rules."
	Gogo floated over to the mike, upside down.  Grabbing the
podium, he righted himself, cleared his throat, and addressed the
crowd.  "Okay!  The guys get a five minute start, after which, you
girls get to hunt them down!  To catch a guy, you have to touch him
with BOTH hands.  One hand doesn't count.  Other than that,
anything goes."
	Gogo then walked over to the starting line, where most
of the boys had already taken their places.  Calamity was strapping
on a pair of rocket-powered rollerblades and lighting the fuses, while
Plucky looked back at Shirley, shouting "I'll wait for you at the pond!"
Some of the other boys readied similar items, and most of the girls had
tricks of their own.  Some had massive all-terrain vehicles or motorbikes,
while others opted for more traditional items, such as lassos, tranquilizer
rifles, and assorted ACME devices.
	"Like, dream on, duck-toad!" she muttered angrily, concentrating
her psychic energies for the chase.
	Holding the gun at arm's length, Gogo pulled the trigger.  With a
resounding BOOM!, the little dodo was covered in soot, blinking his eyes.
The gun fired a small array of fireworks, reading 'THEY'RE OFF!'
	In a cloud of dust, the boys took off, racing as far and as fast as
they could.  With a loud whooshing noise, Calamity took off, actually
beginning to outdistance Lil' Beeper, until an oak tree loomed large in
his path.
	Unable to turn, Calamity smashed into the tree with terrific force,
embedding himself in the trunk.  Willy wanted to check on his friend, but
he couldn't risk falling behind, especially with Mary Melody closing in on
the fallen coyote.  Hoping that the coyote was all right, and thankful that
he had turned down Calamity's offer of extra rollerblades, he raced ahead,
keeping up with Buster.
	A few moments later, another shot was fired.  Looking up for
a moment, he saw another fireworks message, this one reading 'THERE
THEY GO!', complete with an arrow that seemed to point directly at
Willy.
	As he turned back to the path, Buster dove into the ground,
tunneling away.  Before Willy could follow, a large steel plate slammed
into place, sealing the entrance.  The wolf was shocked!  He had
expected such cutthroat behavior from Plucky, but not Buster.  He
couldn't dwell on it, though.  The girls would be here soon, and he
had to get away.
	Buster hated to abandon his friend, but Babs was right, this had
to end sometime, and this chase would take all the pressure off Willy.
As soon as one of them caught him, the whole tug-of-war for the toon wolf
would be settled, one way or the other.  Besides, who but Babs could find
him now that he was underground?
	Seeing Fifi and Shirley crest the small hill he had just passed,
he knew he had to slow them down.  Twirling around quickly, he
came to a stop clad head-to-toe in silver armor, with a goldfish bowl
style helmet on.  His fur had turned a frosted blue color, and he was
carrying a ridiculously oversized, futuristic rifle.  Turning towards the
predatory girls, he let fly with a witty remark before firing the weapon.
"All right everyone, chill!"
	Before Shirley or Fifi knew what hit them, they were encased
in ice!  Unfortunately for Willy, the combination of the bright spring sun
and the natural resilience of toons was melting the ice at a rapid pace!
Turning back to normal, he looked around for an escape route.
	Heading off the path, he crashed through the underbrush into
the woods.  He could hear other boys doing the same thing.  Thankfully,
he had a slight advantage.  Being a woodland predator, he could move
more easily through the woods, and that familiarity saved him.
	Either some of the girls had gotten here before the race started,
or the hunters were working overtime, because boys were falling left
and right, snared by concealed pit traps, snagged by loop traps and left
hanging, or trapped by cartoon bear traps attached to their backsides
or ankles.
	Willy deftly avoided the snares, making his way to the edge of
the pond.  Sure enough, Plucky was sitting in a rowboat in the center
of the pond, waiting for Shirley to catch him.  A crafty smile played across
the little wolf's muzzle.  If Plucky was here, and Shirley wasn't chasing him,
then this *should* be the safest place to hide!  The patch of reeds near the
edge of the pond cemented his plans.
	Diving under the water, Willy thrust one of the reeds into his mouth,
using it to breathe through.  Remaining still, he waited.
	"Ohm, ohm, ohwahatalooniam, ohwhatalooniam."  With her
trademark mantra, Shirley floated toward the pond, a slight pink glow
surrounding her.  She was in her usual lotus position, and her hands were
pressed to her temples as she sought out her target.  Opening her eyes,
she scanned the pond carefully.  Seeing nothing but Plucky, she came to
rest gently on one of the reeds.
	Plucky, having seen Shirley, began waving and shouting.  "Hey!
I'm over here!"  When she didn't respond, he thought to himself, 'She
must be playing coy!'
	Under the water, Willy's eyes widened.  He had seen Shirley
float overhead, and nearly bolted in panic.  Deciding that his hiding
place was perfect, he had remained, and that had proved to be a terrible
mistake.  Shirley was now resting on the reed he was breathing through!
After a few moments, Willy's eyes and cheeks bulged from lack of air, and
he began to change color, first from his usual light brown to red, from red
to yellow, and then finally to a deep blue.  As his need to breathe reached
a fever pitch, he surfaced, gasping for air and coughing.
	As he did, Shirley's eyes popped open, and she smiled softly.
"Like, I knew you were here, or some junk!" she exclaimed happily,
opening her arms to embrace him.  As Willy froze in terror, like a deer
in the headlights, Plucky inadvertently saved him.
	Rowing over, Plucky tried to grab Shirley, still not understanding
that he wasn't her target.  Unfortunately, Plucky was rowing too fast, and
he ending up hitting her with the boat, sending them both into the water.
Watching the chaos, Willy shot off, moving so fast that he was running
on the water's surface.
	Shirley surfaced from the pond, and saw her would-be date
escape.  Turning back to Plucky, her eyes began to glow a bright green,
and she raised her arms high.  As Willy dashed into the woods, he heard
the crackle of electricity and caught the scent of roast duck as Shirley
zapped Plucky angrily.
	Deciding that he was better off in the forest, Willy stayed in the
woods, hiding behind one of the larger trees.  Perking his ears, he heard
someone approaching.  "I am coming for vous, mon petite 'andsome
wolf!"  It was Fifi!
	Scrambling up the tree, Willy edged out onto one of the higher
branches just as Fifi LaFume came into view, prancing along at her
usual leisurely pace.  Looking around, she scratched her head.  "I could
'ave swore zhat zee wolf came zhis way."
	As Willy looked down at the lavender polecat, a small squirrel
started to creep out onto the branch Willy was using.  Unfortunately,
even the squirrel's slight weight was enough to bend the branch towards
the ground.
	Panicking, Willy waved his arms frantically, trying to scare the
squirrel away.  The squirrel tilted his head to one side, confused.
Interpreting the wolf's motions as an invitation, he crept right up to Willy,
staring him in the eyes.  By now, the branch was almost touching the
ground, right behind Fifi.
	He hated to do it, but he had to get rid of the squirrel.  Baring
his fangs, he growled menacingly at the little mammal, who squeaked
in alarm and shot back into the tree.  Hearing the sound, Fifi turned
around and saw him.  Hearts trailing behind her, she rushed forward
to catch her date.
	"Willy!  I 'ave you now!" she said, opening her arms wide.
	Unfortunately, without the added weight of the squirrel, the
branch shot back into place, catapulting the little wolf across the forest
like a small, furry missile.  Fifi watched, her heart sinking, as the wolf,
screaming the whole time, faded into the distance.  A few seconds
later she heard a loud CRASH!  Setting off in the direction he had
been hurled, Fifi pranced into the forest.
	As Willy regained consciousness, he could swear that there
were little squirrels circling his head, all blowing raspberries at him.
As they faded away and his vision cleared, he saw his new surroundings.
He was about chest-deep in the center of a large field of tall grass.
Gulping, he tried to forget the similar scene from "The Lost World"
(but he hoped  that Steven would see this and maybe give him a bonus
for the unsolicited plug).
	Suddenly, two trails appeared in the grass, moving towards him!
He tried to run, but they seemed to know his every move.  As he watched
in horror, one trail crested momentarily, revealing Shirley!  Running in the
opposite direction, he caught a glimpse of a lavender tail in front of him.
Fifi and Shirley had cornered him!
	Closing his eyes, he waited for the end to come.

	*****

	By the time the dance had rolled around, most of the toonsters
had done quite well.  Hamton was sitting down with his girl, the one he
met in Florida.  They were smiling and talking by the buffet table.  	
	Buster and Babs were dancing close, ears intertwined.  Both
perked up as Plucky entered with ... Margot Mallard!  Margot was a
knockout lavender waterfowl with magenta hair from Perfecto Prep, Acme
Loo's rival school.
	"How do you figure he managed that?" Babs asked, looking
perplexed.  "She wasn't in the chase, and she doesn't even go to this
school!"
	Buster smiled.  "I hear he blackmailed her.  He allegedly had
some pictures of her *not* cheating on her finals, and we all know
Perfecto's motto: 'cheaters always prosper'.  Besides, there aren't
enough girls to go around anyway, so Bugs made some exceptions."
Both rabbits laughed, and went to get some punch.  Plucky was
already there, but his eyes were still riveted to the plunging neckline
of Margot's black evening gown.
	"How's the date, Plucky?" Buster asked.
	"What?  Oh, the date.  It's okay." he said, tearing himself
away from the view.  Margot looked back angrily.  She had agreed to
put up with the annoying duck as long as she got the photos AND
negatives once the dance was over.
	"I take it Shirley caught Willy?" Babs asked.
	Plucky only shrugged.  "I dunno.  No one said anything after
the chase, so I have no idea."  Looking back over at Margot, he smiled
devilishly.  "And right now, I'm not really worried, either."
	"Poor Fifi." Babs said, hugging Buster.  "If Shirley caught him,
who do you suppose she'll show up with?"
	Buster pointed to the doorway.  "Don't look now, but I think
our answer just pulled up."
	Looking outside, the toons saw a large limousine pull up.  As
the back door opened, Willy stepped out, looking more than a little
uncomfortable in his suit as he helped Shirley out of the car.
	Shirley was clad in a drop-dead gorgeous blue gown, similar
to the one she wore in "The Amazing Three".   She waited patiently as
Willy turned back to the car.
	"Ah, that explains that!" Plucky said.  His jaw dropped with
the others as the rest of the scene played out.
	All the others looked surprised as Fifi stepped out, clad in a
bright red gown.  She looked as beautiful as Shirley!  The two girls
smiled, and each took an arm firmly, almost as if keeping the little
wolf from escaping.
	As the three approached the door, Willy looked up at Buster
and the others.  With an expression of tired resignation, he spoke.  "It
was a tie."  Then, when he thought the girls were distracted, he held up
a small sign, which read 'HELP ME!'
	As the three made their way into the dance, Buster and Babs
just looked at each other and shrugged.  "Who knew?" Babs said.
	"Well, at least he'll have a nice time." Babs said, stifling a giggle
as she observed the small scratches Willy's claws were leaving in the
floor as he was escorted/dragged inside.
	"Okay," Buster said.  "Willy was the last one caught, so who
won the other prize?"
	"Does that answer your question?" Babs asked, thumbing
towards another car pulling up.
	Unlike Willy's arrival, this one was much less ... voluntary.
As the rear door opened, a radiant Elmyra emerged.  Reaching back
into the limo, she grabbed one of Monty's arms and pulled with all of
her impressive might.  After a few minutes, Monty's grip on the car
door slipped, and he was dragged kicking and screaming into the
dance.
	Elmyra looked back towards the others and smiled.  "I always
get my way!  It's my spec-ial-ity!"
	As the dance gets into full swing, the scene fades out to a red
background with a heart-shaped window.  Nestled in the center is Willy,
with Shirley and Fifi to either side, hugging him close.  As both girls smile
and lead him towards the dance floor, everything fades to black.


THE END

"Au revoir, mon petite potato du couch!"

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