Hare Hysteria
		          By Kevin Mickel
		    (HKUriah3@AOL.com)

     "I'm hEEEeeeerrrr!!" cried Babs Bunny as she walked out onto
the stage.  "Hmmm," she said thoughtfully when the audience failed
to respond.  "Tough crowd, huh?" she asked them.  "Well, let's see
how you like this!"
     Babs went into one of her famous spin-changes, and she
emerged from it completely unchanged.  "Huh?" she said with
surprise.  "What gives?"
     She immediately went into another spin change, and this time it
worked, sort of.  Her regular outfit had been replaced with
something very similar.  She was now wearing a lavender sweater,
yellow skirt, and her ear ribbon had been removed and tied around
her ankles.
     "AHHHH!!!" she screamed when she saw the strange results of
her spin change.  She quickly reached out of the frame and pulled
an old fashioned privacy screen into place in front of her.  A few
seconds after her odd colored clothing was seen flying out from
behind it, she pushed the screen aside to reveal that she was back in
her normal attire.
     "What's going on here?" she asked crossly, but to no one in
particular.  Then, she realized something very odd.  Through all of
these strange occurrences, there had been absolutely no response
from the audience.  Growing more concerned, she called out,
"Uhm, can we have the house lights up, please?"
     As the lights came up, Babs was shocked to see that she had
been performing to an empty house.  "Well now this is certainly
weird," she murmured.  Then, with more than a little irritation in her
voice, she called up to the animator and said, "Hey, what's going
on?  Who's in charge around here?"
     In response to Babs's question, a giant pencil came down eraser
end first, and it erased everything around her, leaving her standing in
front of a stark white nothingness.
     Comprehension suddenly formed on Babs's face.  "Oh no you
don't!" she said with defiance.  "I am not playing this game!"
     Reaching up over her head, she pulled down the background
that had Buster's rabbit hole on it.  "Buster!" she cried as she dove
down into the tree stump.  "You gotta help me!"
     Buster, who had been sitting on his couch watching TV, was
a little surprised at Babs's sudden arrival.  "Whoa, Babs, chill. What's
wrong?  Is Elmyra after you?"
     "Worse," said Babs as she looked upwards with wide eyed fear. 
"Some crazy animator is giving me the Duck Amuck treatment!"
     "What?" cried Buster in anger.  "Well I'll just see about that.
There's no way I'm gonna let..."
     Buster's declaration was cut off as the eraser came down again
and rubbed first him, and then everything else, out.  From off in the
distance, Babs heard an echo of Buster's voice calling, "Sorry,
Babs..."
      Babs looked sheepishly up at the animator.  The fear in her eyes
was genuine.  After just a couple of seconds though, she took a
deep breath and composed herself enough to say, "All right, look.  I
don't wanna play this game, and I won't.  If you keep trying these
crazy ideas, I'm just gonna stand here and do nothing.  That, my
friend, will make for one boring cartoon.  So...  You can either try
to exasperate me, and fail, or you can give me a nice background
that I can work some kind of a story onto.  What's it gonna be?"
     A paintbrush appeared and paused thoughtfully next to Babs as
the animator decided what to do.  "Well?" asked Babs after a
moment.
     In a flurry of motion, the brush created a nice beach scene.
"Ah," said Babs as a smile formed on her lips.  "I see you've come
to your senses."
     Noticing a spot laid out with all of her beach stuff, she walked
over to it and said, "Now this is more like it.  Lemme change into
something more appropriate.
     Babs went into another spin change.  When she stopped, she
was completely baffled by what she saw.  Two Babs Bunnies
starred at each other in disbelief.  One was clad  in her purplish
bikini, the one that complemented her solid pink fur quite nicely, and
the other was wearing her black bikini, and matching ear ribbons,
the one that contrasted her white belly fur quite nicely.
     The two Babs's watched as the amazement she was feeling was
mirrored in the other's face.  "Oh come on!" shouted Pink Babs at
the animator.  "I know people like to argue over which look is
right..."
     "...but this is ridiculous!" finished white Babs.
     "Hey," they shouted in unison.  "Fix this!!"
     The eraser came down and wiped out both Babses and the
background.  "Well?" asked Babs once everything was gone. 
"Where am I?"
    The paintbrush came down and suddenly Dot Warner was
standing in front of the white nothingness.  "Well that's better," she
said with Babs's voice.  "I think.  I don't feel quite right."
     "Oh, I get it," she said suddenly.  "This is the screwball gag from
Duck Amuck, right?  So, what am I?  I monster?  A duck?  A weird
something or other?  *SIGH*  All right, let's have the mirror so we
can get this over with.  But I warn you, It won't work."
     Rather obligingly, the paintbrush came down and created a
mirror for Babs, or Dot, or er, well, you know, to look in.  She
slowly turned towards it, and once she saw what was there, she
reacted the only way possible; her eyes popped out of her head with
a loud "AHOOGAH!" as she proceeded to perform what had to be
the most extreme wild take ever done by a rabbit.  "AAAAHHH!!!"
she screamed as she saw what had been done to her.
     She seethed with anger as she glared up at the animator.  She
opened her mouth to protest, but no words came out.  Forcing
herself to calm down, she went into a spin change, reemerging as her
normal bunny self.  "I am *NOT* Dot Warner!"
     "You got that right, sister," said Dot as she popped into the
frame.  Pulling out a huge mallet, she promptly flattened Babs with it
and said, "*I'M* the cute one!"
     Slinging the mallet over her shoulder, she smiled sweetly and
said, "Bieeee!" and casually walked off screen to the right.
     "DAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" screamed Babs as she
suddenly popped back into her normal shape.  She looked up with
exasperation as she panted heavily.  "All right, look," she said in a
ragged voice, "this isn't working.  Isn't there some way we can
work together without you trying to destroy me?"
     The paintbrush came back down and created a Calamity 2000
Escape Proof Bunny Cage around her.  A note was attached to it
that said, "Let's see if you can get out of this one."
     "Oh no you don't!  I am *not* gonna let you or anyone else put
me in one of these things ever again!  Good Bye!"
     With that, she pulled out an eraser and from her pocket and
promptly erased herself from the scene.  From off in the distance,
Babs could be heard laughing maniacally as she said, "There!  I beat
you at your own game!"
     Sitting back from his animator's desk, Hamton J. Pig set down
his paintbrush and sighed.  "Well," he said with a faint smile, "I did
manage to hold my own against her for a little while."
     "Th-that's re-uh-right, Hamton," said Porky Pig as he placed a
congratulatory hand on his protege's shoulder.  "You de-uh-di-uh,
did a gee-uh-grea-go, uh...  Well done!"

			THE END

This fanfic came to the strange thought patterns of Kevin Mickel
while he was at work at the Boston Copley Marriott Hotel on
March 10th, 1999 and was written in less than 2 hours.

All things related to Tiny Toon Adventures and Looney Tunes
are owned and copyrighted by Warner Bros.  The author claims
no rights to those things, and this unauthorized fanfic should in no
way be considered to be infringinging upon those rights.

I know the ending makes no sense, but hey, it's a cartoon.

Oh yeah...  I'm baaaack!

Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it.

Thee-uh, that's all, Folks!