Bad Hare Day
       A Tiny Toon Adventures Fan Fiction
                 by Don Speirs 
 (E-mail: dp1don@aol.com or dp1don@whidbey.net)


     Our story opens on the cafeteria at Acme Loo, with lunch in full swing. 
At one table, Buster, Plucky, Hamton and the boys are again having another
rousing round of "Will Dizzy Eat It?"
     Buster holds up a dripping sack with flies buzzing around it.  "Behold. 
Here in my hand I hold the scraping from the floor of the library screening
rooms from the last two years." He waves the sack around, flinging drops of
liquid onto the table in front of him.  Drops that hit the table start eating
away the surface in a cloud of fumes.  A fork and spoon, seeing the
approaching rain of doom, run screaming from the table.  "And of course, the
big question we all want to know is . . . "
     The guys all chime in. "Will Dizzy eat it!"
     Buster smiles and tosses the bag into the air, directly above a smiling and
confident Dizzy.  The young Devil looks up, judges the trajectory carefully,
and leaps into the air, catching the bag at the apex of its arc.  Dizzy lands
easily, pirouettes once and swallows the bag with a single loud gulp. The
guys start to cheer Dizzy, who beams back at them with a toothy grin.
"Yummy.  Dizzy love popcorn!"
     The ladies table across the cafeteria is full with the usual suspects.  Mary
Melody and Sweetie have their books open, discussing the day's physics
assignment (Effects on the trajectory of pies by filling which flew farther-
lemon meringue or coconut custard).  Babs wanders up with her lunch,
followed by Fifi and Shirley.
     The young loon looks over at the guys.  "Like, that is so totally grody.  I
mean, like, where does Buster come up with junk like that, Babs?"
     "Beats me.  It hasta be a guy thing, I figure."
     Fifi looks over slyly at her friends. "Oui, but then, they are better at some
guy things then others, no?"
     "Like, I'm sure, Fifi.  I mean, come on.  That kind of stuff is rough on the
doo, ya know."
     "Awww, mon petite loon, just because your hair eez not so stunningly
gorgeous as moi, vous must work harder at it than moi. Moi eez tres
understanding and tres sympathetique." 
     Babs shakes her head.  "Come on, Fifi, Shirley's got a point.  Longer hair
styles are a lot of trouble to take care of.  Just ask Mary, she's a runner and
she keeps it short for that reason. Right, Mary?"
     Mary thinks about this for a second, seriously weighing the issue as only a
teenage female can truly do.  "No, I just think it looks better short on me. 
Personally, though, I agree with you about long hair."
     Fifi looks daggers at Babs.  "Well, moi does not think that vous should
have an opinion, Babs.  After all, vous has no hair at all,  just a little short
pink fur on top.  Nothing to be styled, teased, or curled into the tres
magnifique work of art that moi has."
     The table goes silent as everyone looks at Babs, sensing the change in
temperature..  Babs herself reaches quickly for a witty comeback.  "Well, of
course I don't have hair, I am a hare!"  The laughter around the table sounds
as forced as Babs' reply.  
     Shirley, sensing the change in the shared karma at the table, moves to
prevent anything worse from happening. "Well, like, Babs, I need help on my
film study. Come on and, like, a hand in the library finding this old junk?" 
     Babs nods, grateful for the excuse. "See ya later."
     As they head down the corridors toward the library, Shirley gliding and
Babs walking beside her, the atmosphere is tense.  Shirley decides she can't
be silent anymore.  "Like, your aura is reflecting some, like, mondo heavy
conflict, Babs.  I mean, it's like, green, and making it cold in here.  You
aren't, like, letting her get to you with that stuff?"
     "I know, it's stupid.  But I am jealous sometimes.  I mean, when you want,
you can change your hair and that changes how you feel sometimes.  Me, all
I have are these ears, and they sometimes have a life of their own, it
seems...."
     "Whoa, chill out the major negatory vibes, there, Babs.  You are who you
are, or some junk like that.  Like, don't sweat your differences, they make
you Babs.."  Shirley stops for a second. "Like, wow, I sound like I'm
channeling June Cleaver or something."
     "Look, Shirl, I know you mean well. But I can't help wishing I had some
sort of hair.  I mean, look at all the fun I miss out on...flipping my hair oh so
seductively at Buster, spending hours in the beauty parlor with you and Fifi,
things like that." 
     Shirley glances up at Babs "Ohmigosh, you have got to be kidding.  I do
not spend HOURS in beauty parlors, Babs.  And you are just fine as you are. 
Now let's get over to the library and to study, or something like that." 
Shirley increases her speed, forcing Babs to run to keep up.
     The pair continue on into the library and move into a projection booth. 
They proceed to view a number of old cartoon shorts of Petunia Pig and
Daisy Duck. Shirley has an upcoming oral exam on female sidekicks, and
isn't quite sure yet which character she is going to use as her case study. 
After about an hour, Shirley turns to Babs.  "I need to stretch my aura a bit. 
Like, will you stay here and hold this room for me?  I'll try to be back
quickly."
     "No problem, Shirl.  I think I'd like to stay here and think for a while.  Not
that I'm hiding from anyone, you understand."
     Shirley nods and smiles, then floats out of the room.
     Alone at last with her thoughts, Babs sighs.  As much as I hate to admit it,
Fifi is right.  I am jealous of her and Shirley and all the others with hair. 
Heck, even Sweetie has hair!  Oh, the heck with it, I probably would look
dorky with hair anyway.  But sometimes I just wish I could have the chance
to know that for myself."
     As these thoughts cross her mind, the screen in the room starts to fluoresce
with a strange greenish glow.  Babs stops thinking as she grows aware of the
glow and does the first thing she can think of...she ducks behind the first row
of chairs.  She cautiously peers over the chairs, ears behind her, and sees a
whirling green cloud, the size of a quarter, in the middle of the movie screen. 
The cloud appears to be  growing in size as it moves closer toward her like a
cheesy 3-D movie effect.  Babs cowers down as the cloud hovers above,
quickly growing both in size and intensity.  The cloud started to coalesce into
something, and as it does so, it's color deepens, becoming darker, and redder,
until, with a bright red soundless flash, the cloud disappears.  In it's place is a
7-foot tall red hairy creature wearing tennis shoes, a pair of strap on wings
held on with what appeared to be bandoliers, and a flickering neon tiara,
floating about 5 feet above Babs' head. The creature sees Babs and smiles.
     Babs takes all this in and decides to do something eminently logical. She
faints.

*******

     The shock from the icewater quickly changes Babs' state from one of
blissful unconsciousness to one  of total wakefulness.  A slightly detached
part of her mind notes the presence of her hairy companion as her altitude
quickly increases, propelled by the large volume of air she exhales as she
screams from the shock in defiance of gravity.  Gravity decides it doesn't like
being defied, as that sets a bad example for the others, and rapidly reasserts
itself, bringing our screaming heroine quickly to earth.  Before she has a
chance to be turned into a pretty pink smear on the ground, the creature
reaches out it's arms and catches Babs.
     Babs, seeing her savior again, opens her mouth to scream again.  This
time, however, the scream never escapes, as a large hairy paw covers her
mouth.  The creature looks into her eyes.
     "Is that all really necessary?"
     Babs stared at the creature.  The last thing she expected was a cultured
Oxfordian accent. Her brows furrowed from the confusion.
    "I say, miss.  You summoned me, and thus my existence.  Now, we can
continue this screaming and yelling and thrashing about, like a bunch of silly
people, or we can get about down to business.  The choice is yours.  Now,
please nod if you understood this."
     Nod.
     "Righto.  My, but your voice is piercing.  I will remove my hand from
your mouth if you give me your word that you will not scream, screech or
make any other horrible noise.   Will you promise me that?"
     Nod.
     The creature removes his hand from Babs' mouth, and then sets her gently
down.  Babs backs up two steps, and carefully looks her companion over.
"You say I summoned you?  Who are you?  For that matter, what are you?"
     The creature smiles at the predictability of the questions.  "Yes, you
summoned me. I am known by many names, but you may call me
Gossamer-"
     "Gossamer?  GOSSAMER?"  Babs starts giggling uncontrollably, rolling
on the floor.  Tears are streaming from her eyes. "A 7-foot hairy thing named
Gossamer?!!!!!"
     Gossamer sighs, a heavy rolling sigh that bespeaks years of seeing this
type of reaction. He waits patiently while Babs laughs, occasionally rolling
his eyes heavenward.  Finally, his patience starting to wear just a little thin,
he speaks "Alright, you have had your laugh, miss.  Shall we get down to
business?"
     Babs, the occasional giggle still bubbling out of her, sits up and looks up
at her new companion.  "OK, I'll bite.  Why are you here?"
     "Simple.  I am your Hairy Godfather."
     "My what?"
     "Your Hairy Godfather.  Simply put, you wished to know what it was like
to have hair, and I am here to grant your wish."
     "You mean, like a genie or something?"
     "Well, err, I suppose that is one way of putting it.  Simply put, I am here
to grant you some wishes, but they can only affect you, and they all have to
do with hair."
     "Well isn't that special.  Come on, be honest, this is a joke, right?  Buster
and Plucky set you up to this, didn't they?  Well I'm not biting.  So why don't
you just take your wings and things and just leave."  Babs turns and starts
angrily toward the scrrening room door.
     Gossamer sighs again, and follows her, his wings fluttering lightly to
propel him down the aisle.  "No, Miss Barbara Anne Bunny, I am sorry, but
your youthful companions did not  put me up to  this' as it were.  You did,
and I cannot leave until my mission is fulfilled.  Union rules and all that."
     Babs comes to a quick stop and turns, her eyes narrowing as she looks at
Gossamer.  "I did not put you up to this. And don't you ever call me that."
     At this point, Babs hears a door open, and a familiar  voice behind her. 
"Hiya Babsie, who ya talking to?"
     Babs whirls on Buster, her anger building.  "You!  It's all your fault! 
What's the big idea sending this... this.... thing to tease me."
     "What thing?"
     "This big hairy creature floating on wings behind me."  She points over
her shoulder.
     Buster squints as he looks hard where she is pointing.  All he sees is an
ordinary cartoon screening room.  Maybe a little bit cleaner than ordinary,
since this is the room he cleaned out for today's "Will Dizzy Eat It" segment,
but otherwise, with no distinguishing features. 
     "Umm, Babsie, are you feeling alright."
     Babs starts yelling at Buster, her voice getting more strident with every
syllable. "Don't play that game with me, Buster!   Next you'll tell me I'm
imagining things."
    Buster backs away slowly in the face of Hurricane Babs.  "Look, I don't
see anything.  And I didn't come here to argue with you.  I don't know what
has you worked up into a lather, Babs, but I wish you'd rope it in.  I'll catch
you later."  The door slams behind Buster as he quickly beats feet from the
projection room.
     From his vantage point, Gossamer sighs.  "I do so hate it when I see hares
falling out like that, don't you?"
     Babs cringes and draws a paw over her face.  "Alright, enough already. 
Why couldn't Buster see you?"
     "Because, my dear Miss Bunny, I am not here for him, I am here for you. 
It is your wishes, not his.  He will never hear me or see me...nor will any of
your other friends, I daresay."
     "So if I mention you to anyone, like I did with Buster..."
     "Yes, they will think you are a flaming loony tune.  So sorry, but it is one
of the rules."
     "Uhhh, Gossamer"
     "Yes, Miss Bunny?"
     "I already am a toon."
     "Uhhh...yes, quite.  Well, anyway, be that as it may, I have to ask...what
kind of hair would you like?"
     Babs wanders over and sits down in a front row seat, her arms behind her
head.  "Hold on a minute there, mister.  You said wishes, plural.  What are
you holding back on me?"
     Again, Gossamer sighs and shrugs.  "I am not holding out on you, so to
speak.  Another of the rules is that I cannot reveal any answers to you
without you asking a direct question.  If you do not ask, and thus do not
discover the limits on your gift here, no additional levels on the gift will be
revealed to you.  That I have already revealed the multiplicity of your wishes
to be granted makes it probable I will be punished when I return from this
assignment."
     "Punished?  By who?"
     "The union. The Amalgamation of Fairies, Witches and Things That Go
Bump In The Night, Local 422.  A bit of a stickler when it comes to the
rules, but they do have an outstanding benefits package."
     Babs rolls her eyes.  "OK, so let me see if I understand.  You are my fairy
godfather?  Sheesh.  Now, I get some undetermined number of wishes, at
least more than one, and they have to do with hair?"
     "In the vernacular, I believe the answer is, quote, You've got it right,
sister, unquote."
     Babs looks up at Gossamer.  "And how many wishes do I get, tall red and
fuzzy?"
     "Three, to be exact."
     Babs gets up and starts pacing.  We can see the wheels turning in her
mind, as the typical cartoon convention balloon appears over her head,
showing three gears turning.  She is muttering to herself, "Three wishes about
hair?  How useless can you get? Still, it would give me a chance to see how
the other half lives, so to speak.  And maybe I can turn the tabes on Fifi just
once.  Maybe I can make some of the boys have their jaws drop when walk
by. Maybe..."
     As Babs muses on these thoughts, the gear balloon above her grows, each
thought adding an additional cog. Gossamer, fascinated by this, floats over to
the balloon, where his fur gets caught in the gears.  The gears drag him into
it, spinning him round and round, until he gets spit out and impacts against
the rear wall, looking like, well, a chewed up 7 foot tall red monster.  He
slides slowly down the wall into a red furry heap and utters single syllable.
     "Ouch."
     "...and maybe Buster would learn not to take me for granted anymore. 
Alright, I'll try it. Come on, Gossamer, let's get moving here, I've got to go
get ready for the new me."  Babs starts to exit, grabbing a handful of
Gossamer as she goes by and dragging him out behind her.  The door slams
shut behind Babs, catching a chunk of Gossamer's hair in it. We hear a
ripping sound, followed by a loud scream of agony as we fade to black. 

>>>>>>>>>>>>

     As the iris opens onto our scene, we find ourselves now in the familiar
bedroom of one Barbara Anne Bunny, who....
     "DON'T CALL ME THAT!"
     Ahem.  Yes, sorry....the familiar bedroom of one Babs Bunny.  The pink
four poster canopy bed has flopped upon it out heroine, portable phone
hermetically attached to one ear as she talks into it.  Atop the canopy,
squeezed rather uncomfortably in the space between the canopy and the top
of the burrow, is Gossamer.  Gossamer is just slightly less hairy than before,
as a bald patch with a small white x-shaped bandage is on one side of his
head.  Other bandages wrap various parts of our hairy fairy, who is still
recovering from his ordeal.  He mutters quietly to himself about toon teens
and self control.
     "Yes, Harriet.  The old three wishes routine, only about hair!  Is this a
scream or what?"  Small garbled voice noises reply to her from the phone. 
"What am I going to wish for?  I don't know!  I mean, you do have to be
careful, or else you could find yourself doing something stupid, like wishing
for Shirley's hair, or..."
     PFZZZT!
     "ARGGGGGGHHHHHH!"
     Bab's scream is almost deafening in the small space.  Her eyes now round
as saucers, she ignores the anxious questioning sounds coming from the
phone as she stared at her altered reflection in the mirror.  There staring back
at her with just as much horror was a pink bunny wearing a stylish mop of
blond hair.  There are two lumps on each side for a second, then Babs' ears
emerge, raising up above the hair like a pair of periscopes.  As she gets over
the initial shock, Babs recognizes the hair immediately.  It's Shirley's, alright.
     The phone sits on the floor of the burrow, Harriet's voice coming over it in
squawks.  Babs looks at the her reflection in the mirror again, and without
looking at it, reaches down for the phone and picks it up.  She starts talking
into the earpiece, realizes her mistake, and flips the phone around. 
     "Ummm, Harriet, something's popped up, so to speak.  I'll get back to
you.  No, I'm fine.   No, don't come over here.  I'll call you later."  She clicks
the off button on the phone, and let's it slip from her hand....and then closes
her eyes for a second, almost wishing for the hair to be gone, but afraid what
that might mean.....
     Babs' shakes her head, and stops, realizing it feels, well, different.
     "Yes.  It has weight, volume.  It moves, it reacts.  Some have said it has a
life of it's own."  Gossamer floats down from near the ceiling, hovering next
to Babs as she stands there, her eyes closed.  "Songs and sonnets have been
written about it, women have wished for it, men have died for it...and now,
you have it.  That's one wish...sign here please."
     Babs opens her eyes in surprise at this last statement and looks down. 
Gossamer has produced a receipt book, filled out to show Babs as recipient
of one wish.  He holds the book and a pen out to her, smiling.  Babs takes the
pen and signs the receipt, which then disappears in a small cartoon puff of
smoke.
     "Well, then, that's that.  So, how do you like your new hair, hare?"
     Babs smiles and reaches up tentatively, savoring the feel of her own hair
for the first time.  "Oh, it's wonderful.  I never knew how nice this could feel.
And think of the possibilities!"  With that, Babs starts a spin-change, as
Gossamer moves toward her in reaction.
     "No! Don't!" Gossamer stops as he realizes it's too late and shields his
eyes, knowing what is coming.
     Babs starts her spin change, but then seemingly loses control, spinning
around her room and wreaking havoc, similar to a twister.  We zoom in and
see a toy mobile home on the floor get destroyed as she spins through. 
Finally she comes to a rest, almost totally encased in a cocoon of blond hair. 
Only her eyes, her feet and one ear are visible.
     "Mmmmph phmmm pppffffft!"
     Gossamer floats around Babs, tsk-tsking as he examines the situation. 
"Obviously you are new at this.  Let me give you a piece of advice....rapid
spinning will turn your hair into a tangled mess."
     Babs furrows her one visible brow and makes a low grumbling noise.       
"Oh, don't take that tone of voice with me, young lady.  You are entirely too
impulsive, and this is your own fault."  
     "Mmmffff-mmm-ppppfftttt-mmmmm"
     "What?  No, I couldn't quite make that out.  Hang on for a moment." 
Gossamer reaches over and separates the hair in front of Bab's mouth.  Babs
takes in a deep breath, and then yells at Gossamer. "Get me out of here, you
idiot!"
     "Temper, temper, Miss Bunny.  You have created a knot of Gordian
proportions.  Now I will have to exercise some caution here about how I split
hairs without splitting hares, so to speak." He flutters around, examining her
situation   Finally, he nods, and reaches behind himself, pulling out a huge
piece of armament that fairly screams "GUN" from a distance of 30
kilometers.
     Babs sees this impressive piece of artillery and starts to shiver.  Her
shivering increases when she realizes the weapon is aimed directly between
her eyes.  "Ummm, Gossamer..."
     "Shhhh....be vewy vewy quiet, the aim on this is very sensitive...."
     "Gossamer, ummm, what is that gun...."
     "Ready...."  Our winged fairy pulls back on the slide, and undoes the
safety.
     "GOSSAMER!!!!"
     "Aim...." A red beam lances out from the weapon, illuminating a point
directly between Babs' eyes.....
     Babs starts to pray, loudly, and closes her eyes, resigning herself to
oblivion.
     Gossamer smiles, a particularly evil looking grin. "Fire!"
     As he pulls on the trigger, a surprisingly quiet "pop" sound is heard for
such a large gun.  Out of the guns barrel comes a shell the size of an ostrich
egg, hurtling toward Babs. As the shell approaches her, it suddenly halts,
splits in two, and opens, revealing some mechanical arms loaded with hair
spray, curlers, combs and scissors. The device starts circling Babs too
quickly to be tracked, but from within the blur of motion we hear sounds like
those inside a lumber mill.  We also see the byproduct of all of this activity,
blond tresses flying in all directions.
     Finally, the projectile finishes by saying "Voila!  Est Manifique!"  It then
flies back into the gun.
     Babs opens her eyes and sees she has indeed been cut loose, and the
projectile has trimmed the hair into a shorter Dorothy Hamill bob style. 
Babs is in awe, and her jaw drops as she sees her reflection.  
     "I gather you find the new style satisfactory, Miss Bunny?"  Babs turns to
see Gossamer pressing a prominent button on the weapon, causing her to
flinch.  Gossamer chuckles as the cannon extends out a vacuum hose which
quickly sucks up the 14-foot haystack of blond hair sitting in the corner.  
     "You know, miss, you really do have to realize that looks can be
deceiving.  It is what is inside that counts, I always say."
     "Thank you, Dr. Joyce Brothers.  Just do me a favor and put that thing
away before someone gets hurt?  I mean, hit the wrong button on this thing
and we may find out how permanent a permanent really is...or get teased to
death..."
     Gossamer groans under the increased weight of the bad puns filling the
room.  "I see your point, Miss Bunny.  And to quickly change the subject,
how do you like Miss Loon's hair?  I see you are adapting well to it."
     Babs looks into the mirror and playfully fluffs the hair, assuming different
poses with it.  "Oh, I don't know, it's not so bad once you get....."  Babs'
voice trails off, as what Gossamer actually said reaches the reasoning centers
of her mind.... "Shir--Shir--Shirley's hair???  What exactly do you mean by
that?  You mean it's LIKE Shirley's hair, right?"
     "Well, as your friend, Miss Loon would say,  it's, like, my hair, for sure.' 
It is what you wished for, Miss Bunny."
     Babs looks again at the hair in the mirror.  "But I asked for hair LIKE
Shirley's, not Shirley's hair, you enormous hairball!"  
     Gossamer shakes his head, smiling, "Au contraire, Miss Bunny.  You
received EXACTLY what you wished for, and that is all you got.  Nothing
more, nothing less.  Here, look at your receipt."  Gossamer snaps his fingers
and the receipt materializes in a small poof of Acme Special Effect Smoke
(tm) in front of Babs.  She reaches down and picks it up, reading it aloud.    
     "Granted: One wish to Miss Barbara Anne Bunny, as specified in the
following wish:  I mean, you do have to be careful, or else you could find
yourself doing something stupid, like wishing for Shirley's hair...'  Said wish
is non-transferable, non refundable.  No warranty is implied by this receipt,
except in Vermont and in three very small towns in Idaho no one has ever
heard of anyway."
     Gossamer floats smugly above Babs.  "No doubt about it, the wish was as
requested by the hare with the skinny pink chin. Enjoy your wish.  Now, if
you don't mind, I'm going to get to work on the paperwork.  You would not
believe the paperwork involved in granting a wish...Emotional Impact
Statements, Licenses, all of them in triplicate and witnessed by Rotary
Notary Privates.  If you need me, just holler out, and I'll be, ahem, hare." 
Gossamer starts to chuckle at his own joke as he fades from site, humming a
tune that sounds suspiciously like "I'm Gonna Wash That Hare Right Out of
My Hair."
     Babs watches him fade away, and then flops back onto the bed.  "Oh no. 
This is a disaster!  When Shirley realizes her hair is missing, she'll blow a
gasket.  Or worse!"   Babs notices a strange feeling she has never had
before...the hair on the back of her neck standing up....
     Babs turns around behind her, and watches as Shirley's karma comes
floating into the room. Babs winces as she sees a bandana tied over Shirley's
head where her hair would normally be.  The air around the astral projection
is tinted an angry red, and her chant her seems to have a more ragged tone,
each syllable of "Ohwhattalooniam" coming out as if it were bitten off.  Babs
decides to try a nonchalant attitude.  "Oh, hiya, Shirley.  I was just about to
call you."
     "Traitor.  Thief.   Network Executive!"
     "Now just a minute!   It's not my fault!  I didn't know..."
     Shirley's apparition looks at Babs, fire in her eyes.  "Like, don't even try
the ignorance routine on me, you thief.  Like, how totally uncool to the max
can you get, stealing my hair. And, like, what did you do to it?  You cut
it?????? Like, Babs, I am like, so totally angry at you....."
     "Shirley, please.  I didn't steal it.  Will you listen for a minute?  Just let
me talk for one minute, and if you still don't believe me, then you can still
take whatever revenge you were planning on."
     "Like, why should I listen to you?  You'd just lie, or something."
     "No, I wouldn't.  And honestly, Shirley, if I am telling the truth, what
kind of bad karma would come from zapping me?"
     The loon's astral projection looks at Babs, and the nods.  "Alright, Babs,
you were my friend, so that's worth a minute.  But, like, this had better be
good."
     Babs looks soberly at Shirley and nods.  "Sister, trust me.  I couldn't
make up a story this crazy...and for me, that's saying something."  She then
starts to relate everything that happened from the time Shirley left her in the
projection room until now.
     Shirley listens quietly, a couple of times opening her beak as if to say
something, but then waiting as Babs quickly moves on to another point. 
"And finally, he left, saying to call him if I needed anything.  Shirley, I am so
sorry.  I wanted hair like yours, but not your hair!"
     Shirley's projection wavers a bit as she ruminates on what Babs has said. 
"So, like, this fairy fellow, he's made the switch without warning you, or
anything?  Egads, I mean, that's like so totally uncool.  But there is, like, no
way I will go back to school tomorrow without any hair."
     Babs gets up and starts pacing.  "I know.  And if I show up tomorrow
with your hair, I'll be the laughing stock of the school.  Look, Shirley, isn't
there some way you can, well, zap the wish without turning me into some
sort of Crispy Critter?"
     "Eww, like, I dunno.  This is way out of my league, Babs."
     A knock on the door startles Babs. She looks toward the door. "Who is
it?"
     "Babsie, hiya.  It's me, Buster.  Your mom said it was OK for me to come
back.  Can I come in?"
      "Don't come in!  I'm not decent!" shouts our heroine, as she dives into
her closet to look for a hat. Various items come flying out, including sports
gear, exercise equipment, books, cartoon props of varying sizes and shapes,
and clothing of different styles. Shirley dodges the various flying items in
vain before getting buried under a pile of yellow sweaters.  Babs finally
emerges wearing a huge 30-gallon Stetson with a very floppy brim.   She
closes the closet door and flops onto the bed, turning on her TV, trying to
look nonchalant.  "OK, come on in Buster."
     Buster tries to open the door, but can't get it moved more than a crack
because of the pile of stuff from the closet residing against it.  He pushes and
grunts and groans, forcing the door open inch by inch with a grating sound
like stone on stone.  Finally he has enough room and slips into the room,
looking around the room.  He lets out a low whistle.  "Wow, was it time to
redecorate?  I can't quite see the look you were going for here, Babs. 
Lemme guess, early Sanford and Son?"
    "Ha, ha, very funny.  What do you want, Buster."
    "I want to know what's going on, Babs.  You snap at me at the library,
you're acting funny.....you're wearing a really big hat.   What's going on?  Is
Shirley channeling Ross Perot into you or something?"
     A muffled voice comes from under a 6-foot pile of yellow sweaters behind
Buster.  "Like, leave me out of this, Buster.  It's, like, not my fault, or
whatever."  The pile starts to levitate and moves over near Babs.  
     "Alright, you two, rope it in.  Babs, what's going on!"
     Babs chews her bottom lip for a second, debating what to say.  She
decides to say it all in a rush.
     "LookBuster, Imadeawishforsomehair andthisgreatbigredhairything
showedupandsaidhewasmyfairy godfatherandwhenIaccidentlysaid
IwantedShirleyshairhegavemeit andnowtheresabigmessandIdon't
knowwhattodo!" She breaks down and starts to cry on the bed.
     The rush of words hits Buster like a gale.  Our hero leans into the storm,
wrapping his arms around one of Babs' bedposts to keep him in place. The
pile of sweaters is blown off of Shirley as she valiently tries to hold on, but
the rush soon throws her back against the wall.  The astral projection hits
with a loud "whump" sound, and then slides down the wall and through the
floor, muttering "Like, ouch, or something.  I'll be back soon, Babs." 
     "Whoa, Babs.  Slow it down, it'll be alright.  Just take a few deep breaths
and get a hold of yourself, OK?"  Babs nods, still crying.  She gulps in some
air as she tries to calm down. "Now, then.  You said you have Shirley's hair? 
How did that happen?"
     Babs again explains what happened.  Buster nods as he listens, trying to
follow it all. When she finishes, he just shakes his head.  "Well, you forgot
one important point, Babs."
     "I know.  I should be happy with who I am, instead of trying to be
something else."
     "Uhhh, no.  Good moral, but not even close."
     "OK, oh wise one.  What did I forget?"
     "That it doesn't matter what you do, I am there for you."
     "Hmmmm.  I dunno, I think my moral works better with the story."
     "Whatever.  We can iron it out later.  The important thing is for us to get
things set right again.  Though I've gotta admit, I'm curious.  Can I see what
it looks like?"
     Babs reaces up shyly, and slowly removes her hat.  She looks down, not
wanting to see the look on Buster's face.  As the tears fall from her eyes, she
feels the gentle touch of his paws slowly stroking her hair.  
     "It's beautiful.  It does look very nice on you, Babsie.  But then again,
anything would look nice on you."
     Babs looks up, smiling a little shyly.  "Flatterer.  But thanks anyway,
Buster.  I needed to hear that"
     Buster slides off the bed and flops down onto one of the debris piles in the
room.  "What I don't understand is why.  I mean, why would you want a
head of hair?  I mean, from what you've said, it sounds like more trouble
than it's worth."
     Babs gets off the bed ad starts to pace.  "You don't know the half of it. 
But Buster, haven't you ever been jealous of someone becuase they have that
you don't?  Or can do something you can't?"
    "Sure, Babsie.  Lots of times.  But then I remember something Bugs once
told me.   Remember, kid, it's not how the cards are dealt, but how you play
 em that matters.'  It's how we make use of what we've been given that
matters.  Look, Fifi has that hair, right?  But she is pretty one dimensional,
too.  I mean, how many times have you seen her do a spin change?  And how
many "Skunk Hunks" has she ever actally stuck with?"
     Babs nods at this.  "OK.  But still, now what do I do?  I mean, I'm still
wearing Shirley's hair."
    Buster sakes his head.  "Wrong question.  It's what do we do?  And I do
mean  we', Babs.  I'm here for you, no matter what."
     Babs smiles and comes over to her boyfriend.  "Thanks Buster. You keep
restoring my faith in myself."
     Buster grins.  "I guess that would make me a hare restorer?
     Babs groans.  "Keep making puns like that and I may have to become a
hare remover, if you catch my drift."
     There is another knock on the door.  Buster opens it and in floats Shirley.
She is wearing a purple bandana on her head, but the shape of it makes it
very clear the she no longer has any hair.  She looks over at Babs.  "Like, I
rushed over here as fast as I could.  I don't think anybody else saw me. 
Wow, this is like, so weird." She sees herself in the mirror again. "Like,
ewwww,  I look like a Sinead O'Connor wannabe or something."
     "Sorry about that, Shirley.  Hmmm...Buster, what do you think we should
do?"
     He shrugs.   "Buy Shirley a wig?  Seriously, maybe you should just call
that fairy guy and say you want it changed back."
     Babs hits herself in the head with the palm of her hand.  "Duh!  But this
may take a while, I don't even know HOW to call him."
     At that moment, there is another knock on the door.  Buster looks over at
Babs.  "My, this place certainly is becoming popular."
     Shirley closes her eyes and concentrates for a second, then opens them
wide in panic.  "Like, ohmigosh, hide me, quick.  Plucky must have seen me
and followed me all the way here.  Like, I can't let him see me like this!" 
She dives back under the pile of clothes in the corner.
     Babs looks over at Buster.  "Well, it IS my fault.  Can I get your help
dealing with Plucky?"
     Buster smiles. "Piece of cake.  This should take care of the problem." He
reaches into a pocket and pulls out a remote control with a single dial and a
large red button.  The label on it reads "ACME ANVIL DISPATCHER." 
Buster turns the dial and we see a series of pictures on it swing by: one avil
dropping on a silhouette of Plucky, two anvils next to each other, one really
BIG anvil, etc.  He moves the dial to the "Random Mayhem" setting and
reaches to push the button.
     Babs reaches out to stop him, looking slightly panicked. "No!  Buster,
dropping an anvil on him will just make him suspicious.  I kind of want to
keep attention off of me and Shirley unil we get this one figured out."
     "I see your point.  Well, I'll follow your lead."
     Plucky opens the door and enters the room uninvited. "Babs, I'm looking
for Shirl, I've just got to tell her something!"  
     "Sure, Plucky, come on in.  I haven't seen Shirley, but you're always
welcome.  He's always welcome, isn't that right, Buster?"
     "Yessirree, Babs, always welcome."
     Plucky pulls up to a stop when he hears the tone of their voice.  Without
thinking, by reflex he immediately looks overhead, searching for the location
from which the anvil he just knows in his heart is going to hit him will come
from.  Not seeing it, he quickly wipes his brow, but all during his
conversation with Buster and Babs, he keeps sneaking glances at the ceiling.
     Babs walks up behind Plucky and taps him on the shoulder.  "Anyway,
Plucky, as said, I haven't seen Shirley, but I can always get her a message. 
What's the news?"
     Plucky turns around to talk to Babs.  "Well, I was just coming back from
Acme Loo and I saw....gaaa!"  Plucky's beak drops wide to the ground and
his eyes pop out of his head when he sees the change in Babs.  "What
the....how....when....why?"  
     Babs looks at Buster, who has moved around behind Plucky.  He is
making gestures with his hands, like pulling something down over his head. 
He then points to the bed.  Babs looks quickly, and realizes that she forgot to
put the hat back on her head.  "Oh, great.  Think fast, Barbara Anne, or this
duck is gonna cook your goose."  Sudden inspiration hits her.
     Babs grabs the hat and smiles at Plucky." Do you like it?  Buster gave it
to me.  He wants to do a Western as our next project."
     Buster is taken aback for a second, and then jumps right in.  "Yea.  It's a
project Babs and I have been working on for a while now.   Ricochet
Rabbits.'  We're still in testing stages, as you can see, but we think it'll be
great.  Of course, there will need to be a villain...wait a minute...Babs, let me
try something."
      Buster grabs a makeup pencil and draws a thin handlebar moustache on
the end of Plucky's beak.  "Yeah, this will work just fine...Now Plucky, can
you give me a truly evil laugh?"
     "What, like this?  Bwa-ha-ha-hoo-hoo-ha-ha."
     "Well, that's close.  A little more maniacal, a little less crazy.  But we can
work on it."  Buster starts to hustle Plucky to the door.  "Babs and will send
you the script as soon as we start...er, finish writing it.  Meanwhile, you
practice that laugh."
     "Sure thing, Buster, old buddy old pal. As long as get equal billing with
you rabbits.  I'll call you tomorrow.  Oh, and Babs, nice hair.  Is it for the
new project?"  He heads out the door, his search for Shirley forgotten,
practicing a maniacal laugh all the way.
     Babs closes the door behind him and sighs.  "Whew.  Way too close for
comfort.  A Western, huh?"  Babs does a quick spin change and is now
dressed like Mae West.  "Well, big boy, we had better figure out a way to
corral us that hairy fairy guy, or Shirley there is gonna need a new
nickname...and I don't think she's gonna be too fond of Baldy McLoon."
     Shirley peeks out from under the sweater. "Like, I have got to find a
better place to hide someday, or some junk. I mean, these clothes  are so
nasty, they're like giving my aura a static charge or something."  She
demonstrates by trying to pull someone of  Babs' sweaters away from her...it
gets tossed away, stops in midair and rushes back to her, wrapping it's arms
around Shirley in a big hug. The neck comes to rest on Shirley's shoulder. 
"Like, I think maybe this thing likes me, or some junk."
     "OK, enough fooling around.  We need to find this Hairy Fairy guy. 
Babs, do you remember what he said when he left?"
     "Not offhand...hang on a second."  She pulls out a dog-eared copy of a
script from her back pocket and quickly leafs through it.  "Here it is, page
11."  She shows the section to Buster and Shirley:


                    GOSSAMER
"If you need me, just holler out, and I'll be, ahem, hare."
      (chuckle at own joke, fade from site)
(Note: hum a few bars of "I'm Gonna Wash That Hare Right Out of my
                     Hair.")
                        
     "Like, well, your Hairy fairy guy sounds like a real jerk or something."
     "You got that right, Shirley."
     Buster takes the script for a second, idly turning the pages.  He then turns
to the back and reads the last few pages.  "Oh, wow, you mean that's going
to happen!  How did the writers ever get THAT by the producers?"
     Babs grabs the script back.  "Hey, no fair peeking!  We still have a ways
to go here, Buster.  You know the rules.  No foreshadowing allowed."
     Shirley looks over at Babs.  "Well, like, are we gonna just sit here all
day?  I mean, it's time to get crucial."
     "Alright, Shirley, what do we do?"
     "Like, let's all join hands, or something, so we can let our auras flow
together." She walks next to Babs and takes a hand, then together they hold
out their hands to Buster.  "Like, come on, Blue Boy, we could use your help
here, ya know."
     Buster reluctantly walks over and takes their hands.  "I have a bad feeling
about this, but anything for Babs."
     Shirley speaks up.  "Like, quiet down, Buster, we need to tune our auras
to the astral plain." She starts chanting softly, "Oh what a loon I am.  Oh
what a loon I am."  Babs picks up the chant, on a slightly different note,
higher than Shirley.  Finally, Buster starts mumbling the same chant, feeling
a little ridiculous as he does so.  As his voice joins theirs, the resultant chord
rings through the room, echoing in the space, and then seemingly beyond.  A
faint blue glow starts to surround the toons, growing in intensity around them
as they chant.
     Finally, Shirley decides the time is right and decides to direct the energy
across the boundaries of the ethereal plain.  "We call upon the spirit known
as Gossamer, the Hairy Fairy."
     A disembodied voice echoes back to them.  "Hello, you have reached
Fairy Central.  If you know the extension number of the sprite you wish to
contact, please chant it now.  Otherwise, please hold, and our next available
medium will be with you."  Across the tenuous connections, faint strains of
computer generated "Greensleeves" comes wafting toward them.
    "Ewww, like, how uncool.  I hate Voice Mail systems, they are like, so
impersonal, or some junk.  Like, Babs, did Gossamer , ya know, like, give
you an extension?"
     Babs stops chanting for a second.  "No."
     "Like, how typical.  Well, like, ummm, let's wait and talk to a medium
there and see if they can connect us."
     The trio of toons start to chant again, and soon a familiar voice comes
back across the line.  "Hello, you have reached the office of Gossamer and
Rudolph, Hairy Fairies, Ltd.  We are unable to answer your ethereal
communication, but if you leave a message at the tone, we will be in contact
with you upon your next visit to the Astral Plane.  Don't forget, for the fairest
of fairy hair, it's the Hairy Fairies.  Please leave your message."  A eerie
moan, like wind howling through a hallway, sounds for a second, followed
by a mechanical voice. "Please leave your message now."
     Babs rushes her words out, not sure how long of a time she has to leave
her message. "Gossamer, it's me, Babs Bunny.  I need to get my wishes
reversed and end this.  Please hurry.  I don't know how much-"
     BEEP.  A loud obnoxious tone comes from the ether, followed by the
mechanical voice.  "Thank you for leaving a message.  If you want to make
another connection, or leave an additional message, please start a new
seance.  Thank you."
     Buster starts to get angry.  "Now wait a minute, Babs wasn't done yet. 
We want to leave another message.  I demand-"
     ZAP!  A great bolt of red lightning appears and hits Buster.  When the
smoke clears, he is singed and still steaming.  "Ummm, I see your point."  He
falls over, backwards.
     The toons stop chanting, the seance broken.  The blue glow fades into a
distant memory. Babs goes over to Buster.  "You OK?"
     "Did someone get he number of the truck?" Steam continues to rise from
Buster.  "I knew this was a bad idea."
     "Like, I'm sorry Buster.  I'll, like, file a complaint with customer service
next time I'm online, or some junk."
     "Sure, Shirley.  Just warn me before you do, OK?
     "Like, why, Buster?"
     "So I can be someplace very far away."  He faints backward.
     "Like, what a mondo negatory attitude."
     "Yeah, well, my attitude isn't much better, Shirl.  This means we can't get
this straightened out until Gossamer answers that message.  We're gonna
have to go to school tomorrow looking like this!"
     "Like, not to worry, Babs.  This Gossamer dude will show up, or
something.  And when he does, I mean, like, you just make another wish, and
like, presto, back to normal.  Ohmigosh, like, wow, time for me to head
home and study.  Like, we've got that Physics test tomorrow, you know. 
Later." She floats up and out of the room through the door, then ducks back
in for a second.  "Just remember, don't make any more wishes until tha
Gossamer dude shows up."
     "Don't worry. After all, how could this get any worse?"
     We are left to ponder this as the screen irises out around Babs' face.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

     Our scene opens again onto the entrance plaza to Acme Looniversity. The
day, as always, is bright and sunny, as our young toonsters make their way in
for classes.  Among them we see a green duck, now dressed inexplicably in a
black cape and flat black hat, wearing a thin handlebar mustache at the end
of his beak.  He seems to be practicing skulking back and forth, occasionally
letting go with a maniacal laugh.

     Hamton sees this as he arrives and walks up to him.  "Hiya, Plucky. 
Whatcha doing?"
    "Oh, hi, Hamton.  Babs and Buster are working a new project, and they
want me to be the villain.  I'm practicing my villain stuff.  I think I have the
perfect villain's laugh down...Here, let me try it on you." He backs up a
second, then leaps up, cape wide open and draws it across his face.  "Mwa-ha-ha-ha.  You will never catch me, Sheriff Buster."
     "I don't know, Plucky.  You just don't seem the villain type to me."
     Plucky takes a step back, aghast.  "Not the villain type?  Hamton, you
have no idea the depths of my talent.  I can play all types from hero to villain,
and many in between. Yes, that's me, the consummate duck actor.  Of
course, Buster needs me in his project to lend it the weight that only a truly
great actor can."
     Hamton looks over at Plucky, his face screwed carefully into a neutral
expression.  His eyes betray his disbelief, however.  "Well, that's nice,
Plucky.  Just be careful, you remember the last time you did a project with
them.  You weren't consummate then...just consumme."
     That brings Plucky up short.  "What's that?"
     "Duck Soup."
     "Ahhh, that was just a little accident.  Besides, this time I have insurance. 
Well, gotta fly, Hamton old buddy.  Hey if you're nice, I'll ask Buster and
Babs if you can be my sidekick.  Every villain has to have a sidekick..."
     Hamton watches the duck slink into the halls of the Looniversity, and just
shakes his head.  "Will he never learn?"
     "Oui, that duck eez, how does vous say, tres idiot."
     "Oh, hiya, Fifi.  My, you're looking lovely today." Hamton blushes a bit.
     Fifi dimples, happy as always to receive compliments.  "Merci beaucoup,
my piggy friend.  Has vous  zeen Babs or Shirley today? Moi has been
looking for le pink buuny damsel since repast yesterday."
     "No, I haven't.  Come to think about it, I haven't seen Buster either. 
Plucky just mentioned they were working on a film project, though, so they
may have been busy."
     Fifi starts to tremble. "Le what?  Babs, Shirley and moi were supposed to
be working on le grande film project for next week.  How dare they tossez
vous moi for that blue bunny and obnoxious green duck. Moi eez, how do
vous say, tres aggravated!"  She starts to scent the area without thinking.
     Hamton, as ever prepared, pulls out a gas mask and puts it on.  He
continues, ever the gentlemen. "Well, it isn't fair if that's what they did, but
maybe you should ask them first instead of getting mad right away, Fifi."
     "No. My honor, eet haz been le injured, and moi shall be avenged. Au
revoir, my passionate piggy friend.  Nous will see each other again, merci." 
Fifi stalks up the stairs and into the school, in a foul mood.
     Hamton watches her enter, then sighs as he takes off the gas mask, sprays
it with his handy personal size can of ACME Industrial Strength
Deodorizer(TM), and puts it away.  As he does, he glances up and sees
Buster.  He is curious, as Buster is dressed like someone trying to be very
inconspicuous: dark glasses, fedora pulled down low and a trench coat.  Of
course, at Acme Loo, that outfit stands out just as someone wearing a Buster
costume would on Wall Street.  Standing by the bushes in front of the school,
glancing nervously to and fro, Buster keeps looking up at the bell tower, then
down at his watch. Hamton, curious about this, walks over for a better look.
     "Good morning, Buster.  That's a new look on you.  Let me guess....hard-boiled detective day?"
     "Umm, no.  My...that is, I.....I mean, all my red sweaters are al in the
laundry and this was all I had lying around"
     "I see.  Say, have you seen Shirley and Babs this morning?  Fifi is looking
for them, and she's awfully mad." 
     Buster looks fearful for a second, but then composes himself.  "Uhh, no
Hamton, I haven't today.  I know they were studying together last night on
a....um....project they're doing together."
     "Oh, OK.  Well, I've got to get to class.  Professor Fudd's giving that
Physics test today, and I want to get some last minute lab work in before it. 
See you later."  He starts to walk away, then turns to the bushes as he goes
by.  "See you two later, Babs and Shirley."  He heads into the school.
     Babs and Shirley stand up.  They are dressed, like Buster, in trench coats
and dark glasses, with large fedora's pulled down on their heads.  "Well,
like, so much for being inconspicuous.  I mean, I look like a reject from a
bad spy film, or some junk."
     Babs takes on a bad Bogart accent, trying to fit the part.  "Eh, don't knock
it, sweetheart.  I don't think the pig'll squeal.  Now all we have to do is get
past the big stinker and we'll be home free."
     Buster looks over at Babs.  "Rope it in, Bogie.  We still need to get
through the day today."  The school bell starts to ring. "Come on, that's first
bell.  If we hurry, we can sneak in and sit in the back of the room for the
test."
     The trio looks around, and start up the stairs, collars pulled up.  High
above them, Gogo lounges upside down and watches them enter, then looks
straight at us.  "And they think I'm crazy?  WooHoo!  Honk Honk!"
     Our three protagonists enter the back of Freleng Memorial Hall, the large
lecture all on campus. They take seas at the back of the hall, in the upper
deck.  As we pan down, we see the hall is roughly the size of the Los Angeles
Memorial Coliseum.  Down toward the front of the hall, we see a tiny
chalkboard and an even tinier podium.  Through the aisles, vendors are
hawking various items to the students.
     A vendor walks by them, calling out. "Get your cold drinks here.  Ice cold
carrot sodas."
     Buster looks over at Shirley and Babs. "Well, this far back, we should be
somewhat inconspicuous." 
     A second vendor comes up the aisle. "Red Hots.  Get yer red hots right
here."
     Babs nods.  "I just hope we can get through the day without anything
worse happening.  Shirley, have you picked up anything on our fairy
fellow?"
    Shirley, who has had her eyes closed and is quietly chanting to herself,
looks up at Babs for a second.  "Like, negatory, Babs.  Seems like this
Gossamer dude has taken a powder, or something."
     Across the hall, a third vendor is making his way around.  His voice
reaches Buster and Babs.  "Get your fresh Number 2 pencils here. 
Sharpened number 2 pencils, right here!"
     Buster ponders this news.  "Umm, Shirley, what about if YOU channeled
this Gossamer fella.  Couldn't you use his powers?"
     "No can do, blue boy.  Like, he's a guy, you know, and the polarities of
our astral projections would be all wrong, or some  junk."  She gets a
thoughtful look on her face.  "But, there is, like, another choice.  I could
channel him into you, Buster."
     "Me???"  Buster flashes back on visions of himself steaming from a
recent lightning strike.
     "Yes, you."
     "I don't know, Shirley.  Isn't that dangerous?"
     "Like, no more so than me channeling those powers.  I mean, like, you
were real willing for me to be the channeler, or some junk. What about
you?"
     Babs looks over at Buster.  "I know you don't want to, and I understand if
you say no, but we need your help, Buster.  Please?"  She bats her eyelashes
at him, and then gets the most adorable sad puppy dog eyes.
     Buster flinches, unable to resist.  "Ok, Ok, I'll do it.  Just lose the puppy
dog stare.  What do I do, Shirley?"
    "Like, just sit back, close your eyes and relax, Blue boy. It'll be over in a
minute, or some junk."  She closes her eyes and goes into a transcendental
trance.  "Like, I call upon the spirts of the world, or some junk. I call forth
the spirit of the Hairy Fairies, Gossamer and Rudolph.  Like, their powers I
now call unto Buster, to wield as his right, as Babs' protector."  Buster raises
his eyebrows when he hears this, but otherwise doesn't move. "Like, I call
you forth now."  She points at Buster with both hands.  Two streaks of red
lightning leap from her hands and envelope Buster, illuminating him like a x-ray.  They stop, and we see him there, steaming.
     Babs looks over at her now slightly crispy friend.  "Buster, are you OK?"
     He opens up one groggy eye at peers up at Babs.  "Yeah, I'm alright. But
hey, Shirley, next time, can we at least let me get grounded before you hit me
with 1.21 Gigawatts?"
     Babs does a quick spin change and is now dressed like Dr. Emmet Brown. 
"1.21 Gigawatts?!?"
     Shirley and Buster both look over at Babs.  In unison, they say, "Babs!"
     Babs spins back.  "Sorry.  Sometimes I just can't help myself."
     Shirley turns to Buster  "Like, sorry, dude.  I mean, there was more power
there than I expected.  How do you feel?"
     Buster shrugs.  " I don't know.  Kinda weird.  Why?"  Suddenly he
notices that he is starting to look down on Babs and Shirley.  He looks down
at himself. "Yipes!  What's going on?"
     Babs is speechless.  Before her eyes, her friend is turning into a 7-foot tall
hairy hare.  She turns to Shirley.  "Well, it looks like it worked."
     "Like, duh.  Of course it worked. Buster, I don't know how long it will
work, but you should be able to grant Babs' hair wishes now."
     "Good.  Buster, I wish that.."
     "Crib notes, get your crib notes here!" A vendor comes up behind them at
that point.  "Get your crib notes!"
     "I wish that you would change me and Shirley back to norm-"
     "GET YOUR CRIB NOTES!"
      The vendor is now practically shouting in Babs' ear.  She turns to him,
and starts to shout back. "WILL YOU BE QUIET?  I-"
     PFZZZZZT!
     Buster automatically raises a hand and red lightening shot from him
toward Babs.  However, when Babs turned, the bolt missed her.  Striking the
reflective railing behind her, the bolt reflects in about 20 different directions
and starts bouncing around the hall. Some parts of it strike walls or floors
and dissipate harmlessly. But a few find friendlier targets.
     Babs and Shirley look up with obvious horror on their faces as they hear
shouts of exclamation coming up from the hall.  Shirley looks down at
herself, and then faints  as she realizes her feathers have been replaced with a
light lavender fur and a single white stripe.
     Buster looks at Shirley, and then at Babs, and hits his head.  "I knew this
was a bad idea."
     Babs grabs Buster's binoculars and looks out through them across the
lecture hall.  As she does so, her eyes bug out of the front of them in standard
toon panic reaction number three.  As we look across the hall, we see why.
     Down in the front section, a number of toons are arguing and pointing at
each other.  Hamton is now sporting a coat of white feathers, while Plucky
and Sweetie have changed both size and color.  Plucky now looks up at the
cute big green birdie and mutters, "Mother" before fainting to the ground. 
The biggest shock, though, is from Fifi.  She screams once and cowers behind
her chair, blushing, and then reaches gingerly for Plucky's cape and grabs it. 
Babs watches from behind as her hair tormentor is now completely bald and
totally naked.
     At this moment, Professor Fudd walks in, pushing in front of him a
wheelbarrow piled 10 feet high with tests.  He is startled by the reaction, but
ignores it for the moment. After all, students always hate mid-term exams,
don't they?  "A little whining and gnashing of teeth will do them vewy well, I
think," he says to himself.  Suddenly, he feels a tugging on his arm.  He looks
over and sees what he thinks is Plucky.  It slowly dawns on him what he is
seeing is now a 4-foot tall cute green birdie.  
     "Uhhh, Sweetie, what happened to you?"
     "I dunno, Professor.  One moment, I'm minding my business, and the
next, KABLAMMO!  I'm tall and green.  Kinda weird, huh?"
     "My word, this will nevuh do.  I must go see Pwincipal Bugs wight away. 
All of you, wemain calm, help will be hewe soon."  He hustles off, leaving in
a flurry of tests papers.  As he heads down the hall, you here him screaming. 
"Help!  Help!!!!" 
     Babs looks up at Buster.  "Now look what you did!"
     "What I did?  It was your wish that caused all the trouble in the first
place.  Can I help it if I'm a lousy shot?"
     "Great.  Now what do we do?" 
     "Excuse me, what's this  we' stuff?"
     "Well, you're the one channeling the powers."
     Buster starts to say something when a red whirlwind appears around him,
shrinking him back down to normal size.  "Uhhh, then again, maybe not."
     The whirlwind moves above Babs, and coalesces into a familiar 7-foot tall
hairy monster.  Babs and Buster move together and hold each other for
comfort.  "Oh boy, are we in trouble now."
      "There you go again with that  we' business."
      "SILENCE!"
      Buster and Babs look up at one very angry red hairy fairy. Gossamer's
eyes are glowing white hot from the rage inside him.  "How dare you take
and channel my powers without my permission.  And look at the results. Out
of control magic, wildly flung around the hall here, things totally out of
control.  Giant green birds?  Furry lavender loons?  Naked skunkettes? 
Have you lost your minds?"
     Buster stands up to Gossamer.  "Now wait a minute here, Mister.  We
tried to contact you, and YOU wouldn't show up.  You failed to come when
called upon, per your own rules.  Maybe we tried and failed to do your job,
Mister, but you never even showed up!"
      Gossamer opens his mouth to rebut the rabbit, then stops.   He looks for a
second, and then a look of understanding comes over him.  "Egads, you may
be right.  I forgot to check my messages before went to sleep.  Oh dear, the
union is going to be very severe in this case."  He starts muttering and pacing
in mid air "This will never do.  I'll lose the promotion...I'll never get
promoted...I may even be demoted to...dare I say...dust fairy." He shudders at
the thought.
     "Darn right they will...but maybe they'll go lenient if we clean up this
mess?"
     Gossamer looks down at Buster and Babs.  "You are wise beyond your
years, rabbits. Ummm, I don't suppose you have any ideas on how to clean
this up?"
     Buster looks back at him. "No....I was kind of hoping you might."
     Babs chimes in.  "Sheesh.  This one is so simple, even I can think it up. 
Gossamer, does my third wish cover taking me back to when this all
started?"  He nods. "OK.  If I go back and then don't wish...none of this ever
happened, right?"
     "My word, what a brilliant piece of reasoning.  So be it."
     "Hang on a second, Gossamer."  Babs turns to Buster.  "Look, thanks for
everything.  You won't remember what you did for me over the last day...but
I will."
     "Hey, all in a day's work for me, getting barbecued and blown up for
you."  He pulls her close and hugs her.  "See you on the other side."
     "Ahem.  Sorry to interrupt, but it's time.  Are you ready, Miss Bunny?"
     Babs reaches up once, takes off her hat, and one last time runs her fingers
through her hair.  Wistfully, she lets her hands fall to her side.  "Yes. 
Gossamer, I wish all of this was reversed, and that I am taken back to where
I was before I made the first wish."
     Suddenly, Babs' world lights up, like a million flashbulbs going off in
quick succession.  The pressure of the light pushes at her, and she finds
herself taking two steps sideways as she shields her eyes against the light. 
Suddenly, her ears are assailed by the cheers from the boys' table, as they
encourage Dizzy to finish what he's eating.
     Babs looks around, and sees she's seated next to Shirley, while Sweetie
and Mary Melodie are going over their Physics notes.   Thankfully, everyone
appears to be back to normal.  
     It appears Fifi and Shirley are having a discussion.  The stunning
skunkette speaks up "Awww, mon petite loon, just because your hair eez not
so stunningly gorgeous as moi, vous must work harder at it than moi. Moi
eez tres understanding and tres sympathetique."
     Babs shakes her head.  "Come on, Fifi, Shirley's got a point.  Longer hair
styles are a lot of trouble to take care of.  Just ask Mary, she's a runner and
she keeps it short for that reason. Right, Mary?"
     Mary thinks about this for a second, seriously weighing the issue as only a
teenage female can truly do.  "No, I just think it looks better short on me. 
Personally, though, I agree with you about long hair."
     Fifi looks daggers at Babs.  "Well, moi does not think that vous should
have le opinion, Babs.  After all, vous has no hair at all,  just a little short
pink fur on ze top.  Nothing to be styled, teased, or curled into the tres
magnifique work of art that moi has."
     Babs opens her mouth to reply, and then stops for a second.  Suddenly she
has visions of Shirley bald, and with purple fur, Sweetie tall and green, and
startlingly, Fifi naked as a jaybird.  She reaches up on her head and feels,
almost ghostlike, the shadows of the hair she wore.  "It really happened." she
thinks.
     All of her friends at the table are looking at her.  Suddenly, Babs starts to
laugh.  "Ha, Fifi! Hair is probably much more trouble than it's worth!  I
know I am."  The table erupts with laughter.  
     The laughter attracts the attention of the guys table.  Buster, Plucky and
Dizzy wander over. Plucky stands next to Shirley, while Buster stands next
to Babs.  "Ok, so what's so funny?"
     Babs and Shirley look at Plucky.  They both suddenly have a vision of
him six inches high, wearing pink feathers and with a yellow bow in his hair. 
They look back at each other, and crack up, laughing so hard they fall to the
floor and start rolling around, holding their stomachs.
     Plucky looks over at Buster, who shrugs back. "Women."
    "Yeah, Pluckster.  I mean, who can figure them out."
    "You got that right, old buddy.  Still I wish just once I understood where
they were coming from.  Come on, let's get to the library."
      Buster and Plucky head out the cafeteria doors. As they are exiting, there
appears a smiling 7-foot tall red hairy monster,hovering over the doors.  Babs
is the only one who sees him.
     The monster smiles and winks at Babs, then follows Buster and Plucky
out the doors and into the hall. Through the small windows on the doors, we
see a sudden flash of red light, followed by the screams of a duck and a
rabbit.  
     Babs hears a high pitched voice coming from the hallway. "Plucky? What
did you do to us now?"
     Babs puts her hands over her face and looks at the camera.  "Here we go
again!"  The screen irises in on her face until black.

                     THE END