Pinky and the Brain and Elmyra in "Hands That Elmrya Binds" Written by Erika Leigh R.-1998 A fan fiction inspired by the show Pinky , Elmyra, and the Brain [Theme song rolls with the title shown after] [An outside shot of Elmyra's house is shown as the camera starts to zoom to her bed room window, where it shortly cuts to a shot of a cage on a table. Many moaning animals can be heard.] BRAIN: [mid shot of him in the cage pacing as Pinky's eyes follow him around] Today's plan will once again use the alert aspect of television and satellites. In ordered to gain power, we shall construct a popular day time talk show and have the masses flock to our attention. PINKY: But, if you do that, won't you get really fat? BRAIN: What do you mean? PINKY: I mean, look at Oprah, Rosie, and Kathy Lee. BRAIN: But Kathy Lee's not fat. PINKY: Poit. I know. BRAIN: I'm going to have to hurt you now, but let's let that moment pass. For I have picked the perfect location to shoot our new show. PINKY: Where? BRAIN: From right here, Pinky. Why do you ask? PINKY: Because of that big giant monster in the bed next to us. BRAIN: Yes, you do have a point, but how do we . . . . [the air is being squeezed out of him as Elmyra has just awaken to find her little mice friends] ELMYRA: Ooh, good morning my little mousie heads. Are you all wake-ey to play dress up? Tee-hee. Wait here and I'll get the clothes, make-up, and razors. [She throws Brain head first into the table with the cage and leaves the room.] BRAIN: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering? PINKY: I think so Brain, but does it really take 20 sparrows to eat a small roll? BRAIN: I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that. No, the clothes that she brings out will work and serve as perfect costumes for guest stars. PINKY: Oh, oh! Can I be Richard Simons or Dick Clark? BRAIN: I don't think that would be a good idea. Too many ninnies might traumatize our audience. Hmm. But, it might work. PINKY: Just one question, Brain. BRAIN: . . . . and that is? PINKY: How are we going to broadcast the show? I mean it's not like we could use a computer modem and just link it up from the internet. BRAIN: That was it exactly. PINKY: Yea! I got one right! And then can we surf around for more things on web pages on that adorable dancing baby? BRAIN: Don't get ahead of yourself, Pinky. First we need to make some sets like that last plan we had from "Brain Song". [he sees her coming back] Oh, no. This can't be good. [Elmyra returns with many Barbie dolls and Ken clothes with a beach doll house, and her cat Furrball drastically trying to escape her hold on him.] ELMYRA: Okay my little mousies. Aunty Elmyra's going to play fashion designer. Hmm. We could have a wedding. Here Furrbal! You can be the best man. [She quickly stuffs a tux-like shirt over him and sticks a top hat on him.] Now we need a bride. [She grabs Pinky and sticks a tight Barbie dress on him] There. Don't you look pretty? Hey! Where'd your friend go? [Brain is hiding under the bed hoping she didn't see him, but it's too late.] [Looking under the bed] Oh, there you are you big mousie head. You're going to be the groom. [She sticks a tux on Brain, but his head's too big] Hmm, that's weird. Let me go get my scissors. I'll be right back my little mousie heads. Don't leave. [She leaves the room again.] PINKY: Look Brain [happily] I'm a bride. [He bats his eyes and Brain knocks him over the head.] BRAIN: Snap out of it Pinky. We must make it over to her computer soon before she comes back. PINKY: But wouldn't it be easier to do all that when she's away at school. BRAIN: Pinky, that's brilliant. Sometimes you astound me. PINKY: I try. BRAIN: But for now, we must endure this small torture. At least we have our new set. Only problem to figure out is how to broadcast it. [Elmyra steps in with a large box and a video camera mounted on a tripod. Brain's eyes spy the camera and a smile appears on his face. He looks back at Elmyra and realizes the current situation.] ELYMRA: Now my little mousies, we're going to play wedding. [she holds both mice tightly and places them in front of the beach house.] All right Mr. Groom-head and his LOVELY bride, we're gonna start now. [She clears her throat while looking at a small book that she's holding] Dearly be-lov-id, we are gathered here to join these two mousie heads in [she can't make out the words] holy la-bad-omy. blah, blah, blah, blah. You may now kiss the - - ELMYRA'S MOM: [from far off] Hold it right there young lady. It's time for school. You're going to be late. ELMYRA: Darn. Oh, well. I guess you can kiss the bride when I get back. [She hums the wedding march as she skips back out of the room leaving everything a mess and the song shortly turns into a death march, then fades off into the distance.] At last Pinky, she's gone. Now we can start our latest plan for global domination using that camera, that computer, and THAT doll house. Now follow. [The two grab several wires from the box that Elmyra carried into the room and hook up the camera. Pinky turns the camera on as Brain pulls several wires with him and hooks them up to the computer. Pinky climbs downs and meets Brain over by the computer on a desk.] PINKY: Can I boot up the computer now, Brain? BRAIN: Yes, go ahead. PINKY: Oh, goody! [Pinky pushes a large button, and the computer screen turns on. It begins to play a music box version of the theme song.] [click] Aw, why'd you do turn the sound off like that? BRAIN: It was disturbing. Now, to hook this up. I can use the lab's old internet password for this to up link the signal. [Brain begins to type and the phone gives off signals as the computer connects. The satellite on the roof for the TV beings to turn.] Yes! Now all we need to do is get on the set and hit the button on this control I have hooked up to the computer to start the pirating of ALL the local TV stations. Eventually, we can get a stronger satellite dish and up link it world wide. Pinky, what do you think of the possibilities? PINKY: They're very nice Brain, but will she be on the show? BRAIN: And who would you be referring to? PINKY: The tall lady with the vacuum down the hall. BRAIN: Pinky, quick, hide. [The two climb down and hide under the desk. Elmyra's mom comes in with the vacuum cleaner, humming "Jimmy Cracks Corn." She goes around the room hitting several things with the vacuum, including the desk many times. Brain's eyes bulge as she gets closer and closer to hitting the phone wire. She does, and knocks it out of the socket.] BRAIN: [screams and clasps back] MOM: Oh, look at this! She left it on again. That girl needs to learn that she can't do that. Or at LEAST use a screen saver. [She continues muttering to herself, then knocks the vacuum into the camera's tripod it was sitting on.] Oh, my gosh! [She catches the camera and pushes the running vacuum aside] Well, that sure was a close one. [Leaving the vacuum on by the desk, the two are pulled into the suction, and into the vacuum's bag.] [While leaving the room, with the vaccum clearer and the mice still inside] I think I'm done here. I guess it's time to go iron my bed. [The vacuum is now off and stuffed inside a closet. It's now dark outside and Elmyra's searching for her mice.] PINKY: [cough] Brain, what are we going to do tomorrow night? BRAIN: [cough] The same thing we do every night Pinky. Force our way out of this bag, and then try to take over the world . . . . with out Elmyra's mom. [Outside shot of house] SINGERS: They're dinky They're Pinky and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain Brain . . . . And Elmyra All characters including Pinky, The Brain, and Elmyra are all trademarks of Warner Brothers Animation. If anyone thinks these characters are from reality, they either need their head examined or need to go visit the "Please, Please, Please Get A Life Foundation" (which is also trademark Warner Brothers Animation).