(Authors' note:  Howdy folks!  I am here again to torture you with yet
another of my, well, stories.  Before I forget, I want to mention that if
anybody out there would like to do some fan-artwork for one of my stories,
feel free to do so.  There's only one catch.  I would prefer to see a copy
of said artwork before it gets published.  Thanks!  Also, thanks to HKUriah
for posting this story for others to read.)

A Friend Of A Different Color
by The HellCat

        Int.  Chris Pews' home.  As dawn breaks, a large beam of sunshine
lands on him.  In the sudden illumination, he rolls over grumbling to
himself.  He has been sleeping on the red over-stuffed couch, and covered
with a large patchwork quilt.  After about ten seconds of trying to go back
to sleep, he sits up.  He throws the quilt off of himself, gets up, and
walks over to his coffee pot.  He plugs in the percolator, and switches
on a small radio sitting next to it.  The radio is just beginning to play
the song "American Woman."  After a few minutes,  Chris pours himself a cup
of the black mixture, goes over to his couch again, and sits down.
        Chris (groggily):  "Well, here's to the first day at school."

        He then promptly 'downs' the whole cup of coffee rather quickly,
and shakes his head vigorously.  He then looks at a watch on his wrist, and
blinks his eyes.  He shakes his wrist, and then holds the watch next to his
ear.  He then looks at his watch again.
        Chris:  "Huh.  I guess time just _feels_ slower in the morning."

        He walks over to the coffee pot, unplugs it, leaves his java mug
there, and switches off the radio.  After yawning, stretching out his arms
and legs, and checking his watch again, he grabs his coat off of the rack
next to his door.  He opens the door, and finds himself face to face with
Fifi La Fume (she is wearing a green back pack), who knocks on his
forehead.  After hitting him gently a couple of times (causing him to
wince, thinking she was really going to hit him hard), she notices her
mistake, and giggles a little bit.
        Chris:  "Thanks Fifi.  I needed that."
        Fifi:  "Je regrette (English translation - I'm sorry)."
        Chris:  "That's okay.  Stupid mistakes happen to the best of us!"

        Chris says this as he puts his leather jacket on, steps outside,
and closes the door to his Lincoln behind him.  The two skunks walk over to
Chris' DeLorian.
        Chris (stopping):  "Just a second Feef, I need my backpack."

        Chris opens the gull wing door, grabs his bag, and shuts the door.
He then swings the pack onto his right shoulder, as both he and Fifi begin
walking out of the junkyard toward the Looniversity.

Fade out

Fade in
        Ext.  The front of the Acme Looniversity.  The two skunks come
walking up the street.  Chris stops at the Looniversity steps.
        Fifi:  "What eez eet mon passionate one?"
        Chris:  "This is going to be some of the first formal education,
that I've ever received.  What could I have possibly been thinking."
        Fifi:  "When vous left 'ome?"
        Chris:  "No, when I agreed to this."

        Fifi looks at his face quizzically.  She finds that he's just
joking, by the smile that he's giving her.
        Chris:  "C'mon Feef.  We've got a whole year to go, and I need to
get registered."

        The two skunks start up the steps.

Fade out

Fade in
        Int.  The school lunch room.  Several hours have passed.  Until
this point, Chris has spent most of the day on a tour of the school, as
given by the usual loud mouth for the job, Plucky.  We look at a clock
hanging on the wall.  It reads 11:59.  Gogo Dodo pops out from underneath
the clock (coo-coo clock style), and turns the minute hand of the clock to
read 12:00.  He then looks at the empty lunch room, and yells.
        Gogo:  "IIIIIIIIIIIIT'S LUNCH-TIME!"

        Gogo then 'goes' back into the clock.  Suddenly, a bell rings and
the room quickly fills with students visiting, eating, and 'zipping' from
table to table.  Chris is standing in the lunch line ahead of Calamity.
The kid genius coyote has a triangular shaped beaker filled with a
neon-green liquid.  As both are getting their lunches', Chris bumps
Calamitys' beaker.  It rocks for a moment, and then spills onto Chris'
lunch.  Chris grabs a Coke, and picks up his tray.  As he does this, the
edge of the tray catches the edge of the beaker, and stands it up-right on
Calamity's tray.  The only difference is that now it's empty.  Chris leaves
with his tray.  When he is gone, Calamity looks down to notice that the
beaker is missing it's glowing contents.  He looks at us (the audience) and
holds up a sign that says, "My experiment!"  He flips the sign over.  It
now reads, "It evaporated!"
        Meanwhile, Chris walks over, and sits down at what is obviously
'the guy's table'.  He sits next to Buster, and across from Plucky.
        Chris (making a disgusted face at the food sitting before him):
"In all of my life, I don't think I've ever seen anything so revolting,
given the name "Food".  Buster, what the heck is this junk, anyway?"
        Buster:  "Nobody's sure."
        Plucky (poking his lunch with a fork):  "This looks like something
one of the bus drivers probably hit on the way to school this morning."
        Chris:  "Please Duck, I'm nauseated enough as it is.  I don't need
help, believe me."
        Hamton (sitting down next to Chris):  "Hi guys!  What's up?"
        Plucky:  "Hey Hammy."  Gesturing to the blue skunk.  "Oh, this is
Chris."

        The skunk and pig shake hands briefly.  Then, Hamton begins eating.
        Chris:  "Is it poisonous?"
        Hamton (swallowing, and then giving Chris a strange look):  "No, why?"
        Chris (shrugging):  "Oh, no reason."

        Chris eyes the food before him carefully.
        Chris:  "If you can't beat 'em..."

        He cuts a hunk of meat loose with his fork, and takes a bite of it.
His eyes widen a bit.
        Chris:  "Wow!  This stuff is actually pretty good!"

        He takes two more bites, and then drops his fork.  He has a look on
his face that is a cross between confusion and pain.  The other guys stop
eating, and watch the skunk.  They all swallow hard on what they are
eating.  Chris gets up, and staggers towards the door.  He gets to about
the middle of the room, and collapses onto his knees.  The cafeteria is
silent.  Some of the students that haven't finished lunch look at their
trays cautiously, and then push the food away.  Camera wipe to 'the girl's
table'.
        Shirley (pointing across the room):  " Hey!  Like, is that Chris,
er sum junk?"
        Babs:  "Yeah!  And it looks like his stomach just couldn't handle the..."

        The girls look at each other, and then push their meals away.  Fifi
jumps up from her lunch, and runs over to Chris, with Babs, Buster, Plucky,
Shirley, and Hamton at her heels.
        Fifi:  "Mon amour!  Zay have KEELED vous!"

        The six toons stop dead in their tracks, to stare in horror as to
what is happening to Chris.  Chris looks at his right hand.  It is shaking
a little.  It slowly begins to change colors.  The tips of his fingers turn
a bright white.  The color begins to 'bleed' down his arm, and then all
over his entire body.  Chris closes his eyes tightly, and arches his back a
little bit, as if he he just got a small charge of electricity shot through
his body.  When the white color reaches the parts of him that are normally
white (his face, chest, and belly fur, along with the stripe down his
back), it changes them the same shade of blue that the rest of his body
used to be.  When the color change has ceased, the skunk appears to be a
bit more relaxed.  He opens his eyes, and looks up at Fifi.  She gasps in
fright, at what has happened to him.  The iris' of his eyes have turned to
a deep shade of blood-red.
        Chris (in a raspy voice):  "Fifi, I don't feel so good."

        He then passes out.

Fade out

Fade in
        Int.  Bugs Bunny's office.  As Chris opens his eyes, he notices
that Bugs is on the phone.  He also sees Fifi sitting in a chair nearby,
with a worried look on her face.
        Bugs (glancing at Chris):  "Eh, dats right!  And from what I hear,
it looked pretty...  Eh, I think he's coming to.  Ya might not need to send
that ambulance after all.  Thanks doc.  Bye."

        Bugs hangs up the phone. Chris tries to get up, but just falls off
of the brown leather couch that he has been resting on.
        Chris:  "Ooph!  That hurt."

        The weak skunk gets onto his hands and knees.  Fifi helps him up,
as Bugs rushes over.  Chris sits down on the couch.
        Chris (squinting):  "Would somebody please close the curtains, it's
_way_ too bright in here."
        Bugs (going behind his desk, and shutting the curtains):  "Better doc?"
        Chris (opening his eyes):  "Yeah, actually.  Thanks."
        Fifi (sitting next to him):  "Are vous okay?"
        Chris:  "Give me a little while to get back to ya on that Feef."
        Bugs:  "Can I get ya anything?"
        Chris:  "Yeah.  How about the resident genius."

        Bugs goes over to an intercom at his desk.
        Bugs:  "Eh, Granny?  Could ya have Calamity, and Wile E. Coyote
come to my office immediately?"
        Granny (a little distorted over the speaker):  "Sure thing, Bugs."

        Minutes later, the two irate Coyotes come barging into Bugs' office.
        Wile E.:  "Bugs, what is the meaning of this!?!  I was in the
middle of class, when I had to get Elmer to cover for me."
        Calamity produces a sign that says "And I was in the middle of a
physics test!"
        Bugs:  "Eh, sorry guys, but we kinda got an emoigency here."

        Bugs then gestures to Chris, who is still seated next to Fifi on
the large couch.  He is holding Fifi's hand, and is looking down.  He looks
up at both coyotes.  Calamity holds up a sign that says "Ouch."
        Bugs:  "Ouch is right kid.  We've gotta get him back to his usual
self.  So Wile E., what do ya think?"
        Wile E. (studying Chris very carefully):  "I don't know Bugs.  I've
never seen anything like this before in my entire life!  How did this
happen?"
        Chris:  "Well, I was trying a school lunch for the first time, and
this is what happened to me.  I've had some bad reactions to ill-prepared
foods in the past, but this is _ridiculous_!"
        Calamity sheepishly holds up a sign that says "I bet I know what
happened."
        Bugs:  "Eh, did _you_cause dis Calamity?"

        Calamity walks over to Bugs' desk, and gestures to an empty sheet
of notebook paper sitting on the desk.
        Bugs:  "Eh, sure kid.  Ya need a pen?"

        Calamity shakes his head.  He grabs a pen out of his right pocket
(hidden fur-coat pocket), and writes for about a minute.  He then hands the
sheet of paper to Chris.
        Chris (reading the paper):  "Well, this makes sense.  Sort of, anyway."
        Fifi (leaning against him, and trying to read the paper over his
shoulder):  "What does eet say Chris?"
        Chris:  "I was going to conduct an experiment on the kitchen's
meatloaf.  While I was getting my lunch, the liquid that I was
experimenting with mysteriously disappeared.  I fear that it somehow or
another managed to get onto Chris' lunch."  (setting the paper in his lap,
and looking at Calamity)  "Hey, it's okay Calamity.  I'm not mad.  These
things just happen."  (looking at Wile E.)  "After all, it's not like I'm
going to be stuck like this for the rest of my life, is it?"
        Wile E.:  "It's hard to tell.  Calamity, what was in that chemical
you were using?"

        Calamity grabs the paper out of Chris' lap, and jots down an
equation.  He then hands it to his mentor.  Wile E. looks at the equation,
and then at the ashamed Calamity.
        Wile E.:  "Well, it isn't _totally_ hopeless."
        Bugs:  "I take it dat's not too good for odds."
        Wile E.:  "There is a way to cure this, but unfortunately there is
a time-limit.  I'll make up a list for you.  Bugs, they're going to need
some help.  May I suggest the usual for this situation?"
        Bugs:  "Coitainly."  (into his intercom).  "Eh, Granny?  Would you
call Buster and Babs Bunny, Plucky Duck, and Shoiley da Loon to my office
please?"
        Granny:  "Okay Bugs."
        Bugs:  "Tanks."  (to Wile E.)  "Anyting else?"
        Wile E.:  "Just one.  Chris, I would suggest that you avoid
prolonged exposure to sunlight, and be sure to wear sunglasses when you go
outside.  This chemical that entered your system, has somehow caused a
severe case of Albinism."

        At that moment, the two rabbits, duck, and loon walk into the room.
        Babs:  "Is he any better Bugs?"
        Bugs :  "See for yourself little lady."

        Bugs gestures to the now Albino skunk.
        Buster:  "That _had_ to hurt."
        Chris (in a now clear voice):  "Pal, you don't know the half of it."

        Wile E. gets the group's attention, and explains everything to them.
        Wile E.:  "Then, after you have retrieved all of the items on
the list, meet Calamity and I in my laboratory, downstairs.  But
unfortunately, Chris can not go with you."
        Shirley:  "Like, why not?  Wouldn't the sun totally, like, bring
some color back into him, er sum junk?"
        Wile E.:  "No!  I'm afraid that it might hurt him severely!  Which
reminds me, do you need a ride home Chris?"
        Chris:  "With the way you've been talking about it, YES!  After
all, I don't need to get hurt anymore than I already am!"
        Wile E. (not knowing about the robotic parts of the skunk):  "Point
taken.  Calamity, here are the keys to my Mercedes.  You know what it looks
like.  Take Chris home, and then come back here."

        Calamity takes the keys from Wile E., and then holds up a sign that
says "O.K."
        Wile E.:  "And Calamity, you remember my one rule."

        Calamity produces a sign from behind his back again, as he rolls
his eyes (he has obviously been told this more than once).  The sign reads
"No chasing Road-Runners with the car."
        Wile E.:  "Good."

        As Calamity and Chris leave the room, the song "Come Together" by
the Beatles begins playing.  We follow Chris and Calamity down the hall,
until they walk outside.  Calamity opens the door, and takes a deep breath
as he walks outside.  Chris opens the door, and then quickly turns away.
        Chris:  "AH!  MY EYES!!!"

        He pulls a pair of silver thin-rimmed sunglasses out of his inside
jacket pocket, and puts them on.  He turns around again, and walks outside.
As he gets to the bottom of the front steps, a brand new silver Mercedes
Benz pulls up in front of him.  He opens the front passenger door, and gets
into the car.  The car quickly pulls away from the curb, and drives off.

Fade out

Fade in
        Int.  Bugs Bunny's office.  Chris and Calamity had just left.  Wile
E. hands Fifi his list of things needed.
        Wile E.:  "Here are the items that you will need, in order to save
Chris.  Any questions?"
        Fifi:  "Oui.  Vous said zat zere eez zee time leemeet?"
        Wile E.:  "Yes.  You have approximately twelve hours."

        Buster looks at his watch, and notes that it is 2:30.
        Bugs:  "Eh, you kids is gonna need some transportation."  (Bugs
hands Buster a set of car keys).  "Be careful Buster.  I just had 'her
detailed yesterday."
        Buster (astonished that he is holding the keys to Bugs' car):
"Y-y-yeah!  N-n-no problem!"  (turning to the rest of the 'gang'):  "Okay
crew, lets' _hit_the_road_!"

Fade out

Fade in
        Ext.   The teacher's parking garage, behind the Looniversity.  The
skunk, two rabbits, and waterfowl are sitting in a 1959 drop-top Cadillac
El Dorado Barritz..  Buster starts the car, as they all fasten their seat belts.
Just so this is imaginable, Buster is driving, with Babs riding shot-gun.  Fifi
is sitting between Plucky and Shirley in the back seat.
        Buster:  "Where to first Fifi?"
        Fifi:  "Zee grocery store!"

        Buster puts the car into reverse.  The Cadillac screeches out of
it's parking space, and comes to a neck-wrenching halt.  Everyone in the
car glares at Buster, who just slinks down into his seat.
        Buster:  "Wow!  This thing is just a little _too_ touchy!"

        Buster puts the car in 'Drive', and the Caddy zooms off.

Fade out

Fade in
        Int.  The Acme Supermarket.  The six toons walk into the store.
Fifi pulls out a list, and begins searching.  Plucky takes a glance at the
list Fifi is holding, and then looks at the camera.
        Plucky:  "This may take a while folks."

        He then turns, grabs a shopping cart, and starts after the others.

Fade out

Fade in

        Int.  We're still in the grocery store, about two hours later.  The
toons are waiting patiently (as patiently as possible) in line to get
checked out.  Babs hangs on Buster, and then on a magazine rack, and so on
(basically, just driving everybody nuts).
        Babs (staring up at the cashier, a look of pure boredom on her
face):  "Come _on_!  What's taking so long!?!"
        Cashier (punching computer buttons):  "The cash register froze up!
I guess I'll have to go find my manager."

        With that, the cashier leaves.  Fifi looks at her watch.
        Fifi (impatiently tapping her foot):  "We'll _never_ get out of 'ere!"
        Babs:  "That's it!  If you wanna ever get anything done..."  (Babs
then spin-changes into a replica of the cashier's uniform).  "...Do it
yourself!  Taa daa!"
        Buster (slapping himself on the forehead, and then dragging his
hand down his face):  "Babs, are you serious?"

        Babs jumps up onto the counter, and looks down at Buster.
        Babs:  "Just toss me the groceries, Blueboy!"

        Babs get smacked in the face with a tomato.  After wiping her face
off, she glares downward.
        Babs:  "I saw that, Duck!"
        Fifi:  "Eef vous don't stop zees cloning, we weel be, how you say,
too late to be saving heem!"
        Shirley:  "Like, that's clowning Fifi.  Cloning is a pathetic
attempt at playing 'God'!"
        Plucky:  "Whoa!  Calm down Shirl!  Remember how long it took
Perfecto to renovate, after the _last _ time you went off the deep end?"

        Plucky (having no idea that he said anything wrong), gets' fried by
a very unhappy Loon off camera, as we watch Buster and Fifi toss groceries
to Babs.  Babs catches the groceries, scans them, bags them, and then
tosses them back into the cart.  She does this so fast, that she is merely
a pink blur.  When all of the groceries are finished, she hops off of the
counter, and spin changes back into her normal outfit.  When she is
finished with all of that, she collapses into Buster's arms, out of pure
exhaustion.  Just then, the cashier returns.
        Cashier:  "Do you remember what I was doing?"
        Fifi:  "Oui!  We were getting ready to, how you say, pay vous."
        Cashier:  "Oh!  Right!  That'll be $200.98."
        Plucky (still smoldering):  "200 bucks!"

        Fifi pulls a large wad of folded-up dollar bills out of her hidden
fur coat pocket.  She mumbles something about Chris 'owing her one', as she
thumbs through the bills, and hands $201 of it to the cashier.  The cashier
then hands her two pennies.  After this, she puts the money (still a rather
substantial amount) back into her pocket.
        Babs:  "Wow Feef!  Where'd ya get THAT kind of money from?"
        Fifi:  "Ah have saved everything zat mon family sent weeth moi to
Acme Acres.  Ah steel get a beet of money from mon pepe (father) every
month."

        The cart is so loaded down with groceries, that it takes both
Buster and Plucky pushing as hard as they can, just to move it.  They start
on their way out of the store, with the girls following them, and talking
to each other.

Fade out

Fade in

        Ext.  Everyone is standing behind the car, as Buster slams the
trunk shut.  He turns to the group.

Buster:  "Okay gang, we have about eight hours left.  What else is there Fifi?"

        Fifi looks at the list, and gulps hard.
        Fifi:  "Just two theengs.  But ah don't like zem at all."
        Babs:  "Aw, come on Feef!  How bad can they be?"
        Fifi:  "Zee umbrella from a Dodo's 'ead, et, (gulp) zee bow from
_Elmyra's_ 'ead!
        All in unison:  "ELMYRA!!!"
        Babs (turning to us):  "Say!  Just what kind of crazy cure _is_
this, anyway?"
        Fifi (grabbing Babs by the shoulders):  "Ah don't know, but ah'm
not letteeng Elmyra be zee cause of mon boyfriend's torture!"
        Shirley:  "But Fifi, going to Elmyra's house is like, committing
_suicide_, er sum junk!"
        Fifi:  "Look, Loon.  Ah am saveeng mon boyfriend, weeth, or
weethout vous.  _All_ of vous!"

        Buster looks at Fifi.  Her eyes show how much she cares about
completing this task.  Plucky on the other hand, just wants to save
himself.
        Plucky:  "OOOHHH NO!  I'm outta here."  (Plucky begins walking
away)  "You guys can _have_ Elmyra for all I care.  And I also remember
what happened the _last_ time we went into Wacky Land."

        Buster grabs Plucky by the neck, and drags him back.
        Buster:  "Forget it Plucky.  If I'm in, you're in.  And I'm _IN_!"

        Buster drops the strangled Duck in front of Shirley.
        Buster:  "C'mon, Loon girl!  Whadda ya say?  He'd probably do the
same for us."
        Shirley:  "Like, okay Buster.  I'm in."

        The whole group turns to Babs, who has her arms crossed, and is
looking very defensive at the moment.
        Buster:  "Well Babs?"

        Babs just 'throws' down her arms, and sighs.
        Babs:  "Okay, ya got me.  I'm in."
        Buster:  "Great!  Next stop, Wacky Land!"

Fade out

Fade in
        Ext.  The crooked bridge leading to Wacky Land, that is blocked off
by the giant "DANGER" sign.  The Cadillac stops about 50 feet away, and all
of the toons (and toonettes) exit the car.  They all stop, just before
their trip into the unknown.
        Buster:  "Well, gang.  All set?"
        Babs:  "All set!"
        Buster:  "Then here we go!"

        The five toons walk across the bridge, and enter the craziest place
that anyone has ever seen.  Just as they enter Wacky Land, Fifi stops.
Noticing her, the whole group stops as well.
        Babs:  "What's wrong Feef?"
        Fifi:  "Ah don't know what eet ees, but ah have zee feeleeng zat ah
should not be, 'ow you say, looking down."

        Buster (knowing better than to look and see if they were on firm
Wacky Land soil, or not, reaches down to feel the ground.  From a backed-up
view, we can see that they have walked off of the edge of the bridge, and
are standing about 10 feet off of the ground.
        Buster:  "Oh boy.  This could hurt."
        Babs:  "What?"

        They all look down together, to discover that they are rather far
from the ground.
        All:  "AAAIIIIIEEEEEEEE!"  *WHUMP*

        After untangling themselfs, they look around to discover Gogo
fishing at the garden-hose stream.  The only strange thing (for even Gogo),
is that his fishing line is sticking straight up in the air.  They all walk
over to see what he is doing.
        Shirley:  "Like, what're you doing Gogo?"
        Gogo:  "Fly fishing!"
        Babs:  "Hold it, Gogo.  Haven't we done this joke before?"
        Gogo: "Yeah, but I thought it would be good for anybody who missed
that episode."
        Babs (shrugging):  "Good enough."

        Gogo sets down his pole, and begins talking.
        Gogo:  "So, what brings _you_ to Wacky Land?"
        Babs:  "The car."
        Buster:  "We were wondering if you could help us out Gogo.  Ya see,
we kinda need the umbrella off of your head."
        Gogo:  "My WHAT!?!  No way!"

        Gogo crosses his arms, and turns around, so that his back is facing
the group.  Fifi gets down on her knees, and begins pleading.
        Fifi:  "Please Gogo!  Eet ees pour mon boyfriend!  He was eenvolved
een zee tres 'oreeble aceedent!   Nous need zee umbrella from your 'ead, to
cure heem!"

        Gogo uncrosses his arms, and turns back around.  Fifi stands up,
and anxiously awaits his reply.
        Gogo:  "Well, since you asked so nicely..."

        The Dodo pulls a briefcase from behind his back, and opens it.
Inside it are about six umbrellas, just like the one on his head.
        Gogo:  "Sure!"

        Fifi happily snatches one of the umbrellas' out of the briefcase.
After thanking Gogo again, the group turns around, and goes to cross the
Wacky Land bridge.  Gogo puts the briefcase away, and picks up his fishing
pole.  The group gets to where the bridge is, and notices that they now
have to climb a ten foot ladder to reach it.
        Babs:  "Gogo, You _still_ haven't  fixed this bridge right!"  (the
bridge to Wacky Land was severely damaged when the woman from the Adult
Coalition Against Funny Cartoons used her machine against Wacky Land
itself)
        Gogo:  "Don't worry Babs, I'll fix it!"
        Babs (under her breath, as she starts climbing the ladder):  "Yeah,
right.  When I'm older than Bugs Bunny."

        The group climbs the ladder, and crosses the bridge back into Acme
Acres.  Every one then piles into the car.
        Buster:  "Okay, crew.  Next stop, (gulp) Elmyra's house."

Fade out (as the Caddy drives back toward Acme Acres).

Fade in
        Ext.  Outside of Elmyra's house, as the Cadillac pulls up to the
curb, about two houses down  (after all, who in their right mind would want
Elmyra to know that they were around).  It's about sunset, as the five
toons exit the car, and assemble on the sidewalk.
        Shirley:  "Like, how much time do we have left Buster?"
        Buster (glancing at his watch):  "About six hours Shirl.  Okay
gang, we can't afford to get caught.  So, anybody got an idea?"
        Plucky:  "Yeah!  Let's just knock on her door.  When she answers,
WHAM!  We hit her over the head with a mallet."
        Babs:  "For once, I think the Duck just might have a half-way good
idea!"

        Plucky is about to say something, but Buster interrupts him.
        Buster:  "Okay.  Let's go."

        The five toons cautiously make their way to Elmyra's house.  When
they reach her front door, Plucky is about to knock when Elmyra suddenly
opens up the door
        Elmyra:  "EEEEEEWWWWWW!  Bunnies, and Duckies!"

        Before they have a chance to run, she grabs them and drags them
into her house, slamming the door behind her.  Fifi (who was smart enough
not to stand with the others), pokes her head around the corner of the
house to see if the coast is clear.  She then walks to the front door.
Knowing that it can be considered potential suicide, she quietly opens
Elmyra's front door, creeps into the house, and (without making a sound)
she silently closes the door behind her.  She creeps around Elmyra's house
being very _very_ cautious of booby-traps scattered throughout the house.
Fifi slips upstairs, and peeks into Elmyra's bedroom.  There, she watches
her friends get caged by Elmyra.
        Elmyra:  "Now you stay here, and I'll get you your mud pie dinners."

        Elmyra turns, and skips out of her room.  Fifi ducks into the
bathroom down the hallway.  Elmyra suddenly stops skipping, and sniffs at
the air.
        Elmyra:  "EEEWWW!!!  The bathroom smells funny again!  I'll fix it!"

        A look of panic forms on Fifi's face.  Elmyra would find her for
sure!  Elmyra walks into the bathroom, and grabs an aerosol can from the
edge of the bathroom sink.  She sprays the can for a moment, puts it back,
and then leaves, closing the door behind her.  Fifi throws open the shower
curtain, and falls out of the bathtub coughing hard.
        Fifi:  "(Hack, hack, hack, gasp) Ah _hate_ zat stuff!"

        She then quietly gets to her feet, and walks to the door.  She
gently opens the door, and looks around.  When she sees that Elmyra isn't
around, she darts from the bathroom into Elmyra's bedroom.  Fifi goes to
the rabbit cage first.
        Babs (just above a whisper):  "Fifi!  How did you keep from getting
caught?"
        Fifi (pulling a bobby-pin out of her hair, and then trying to pick
the cage's lock):  "Just zee, how you say, pure luck!"

        Just as Fifi is about to get the rabbit cage opened, Elmyra comes
skipping into the room, and drops her mud pies when she sees Fifi.
        Elmyra:  "EEEEEEWWWWWW!!!  The cute purple stinky kitty!"

        Elmyra pulls a can of tomato juice out from behind her back, and
soaks Fifi with it before she can do anything.  The next thing Fifi knows,
she is sitting in a locked cage, and covered in tomato juice.
        About four and a half hours later, all five toons are still in
their cages.  The light in the room has been turned off, and it is dark
outside.  Plucky is trying his best to bend the bars of his cage.  Shirley
and Babs are talking, and Buster is softly playing a tune on his harmonica.
Fifi is just sitting in her cage.  She has her legs pulled up against her
body, and is holding them close with her arms, while she silently stares
out Elmyra's bedroom window.
        Babs:  "Hey, Feef.  Whatcha lookin' at?"
        Fifi (turning to Babs):  "Notheeng.  Ah was just theenkeeng."

        Fifi then turns, and looks out of the window again.  Shirley looks
at Babs, who just shrugs.  Suddenly, Fifi notices something streak into the
bedroom through the window, and disappear into the shadows.  She lets go of
her legs, and crawls to the edge of her cage.
        Fifi (whispering):  "Hello.  Who eez here?"

        Chris' face appears out of the darkness, close to Fifi's cage.
        Chris:  "Bonjour."
        Fifi:  "Chris!"
        Chris (whispering):  "Shhh!  Are you nuts?  Keep your voice down!
I don't really want to meet whoever did this to you."

        Chris holds his right hand near the lock on Fifi's cage.  He forms
a fist, with his pinkie finger extended (for those of you who forget, toons
don't have 'middle' fingers).  The first joint of his finger 'flips' open,
and a skeleton-key extends from the small opening.
        Chris (beginning to unlock Fifi's cage):  "I'll have ya outta there
in just a minute Feef."

        Before Chris can get the lock opened, he hears an innocent, yet
strangely scary voice.
        Elmyra:  "Are my bunny-wunnies ready to take a bath?"
        Fifi:  "Hide Chris!  Eef she finds vous, we are _all_ doomed!"

        Chris retracts the skeleton-key, and his finger shuts, as he slides
under Elmyra's bed.  Elmyra walks into the room, and switches the light on.
        Elmyra:  "Where are my bunnie-wunnies?"
        Babs (whispering):  "Quick, Buster!  Think of something!"
        Buster:  "I'm trying!"

        Just as Elmyra is about to open the rabbit cage, Chris Pew slips
out from underneath Elmyra's bed, wearing his sunglasses.  Naturally, she
spots him instantly.
        Elmyra:  "EEEEEWWWWW!!!  A cute _white_ stinky kitty!  I've never
had one of _those_ before!  Come to me cute kitty!"

        Now, you have to remember that Chris has absolutely no idea what so
ever as to who Elmyra is.  All that he knows about her, is that she's a
threat.  He takes the position that a wrestler would use to begin an
attack, and charges at Elmyra.  She opens her arms, expecting him to run
into her arms.  Instead, he falls to his knees at the last second, and
slides under Elmyra, causing her to trip and fall flat on her face.  Before
Elmyra can even _think_ (which is actually a contradiction of terms for
Elmyra) about getting up, Chris grabs her, and locks her in one of her own
cages.
        Elmyra:  "Hey!  You're supposed to be _my_ pet!"
        Babs:  "It's Chris!  We're saved!"

        Chris again opens his pinkie finger, and extends the skeleton key.
After he opens the cages 'holding' his friends, he leads them outside.
When they get outside, Buster leads them to the car.  Buster is about to
open the drivers side door.
        Chris:  "Wait, Buster.  Let me drive.  I'm faster."
        Buster:  "But, this isn't my car."
        Chris:  "I know.  That's why I didn't suggest that Babs drive."
        Babs:  "I heard that!"
        Buster (tossing the keys over the car to Chris, who catches them):
"Okay.  You win."

        Buster and Chris trade places, as they all get into the car.
Everyone puts on their seat belts, as Chris starts the car.
        Buster:  "Say Chris, something's been bothering me."
        Chris:  "What?"
        Buster:  "How'd you know where we were?"
        Chris:  "Easy.  I just followed the rabbit, duck, and skunk tracks
to the front door.  Besides, how many Cadillacs in this town have plates
that say 'B.Bunny'?"
        Buster:  "Good point."

        Chris shifts the car it 'drive'.  We watch from a rear view as the
Caddy peels away from the curb, goes 'rocketing' down the street, and
screeches around a corner.  As all of this is happening, we can hear the
Rolling Stones playing "Jumping Jack Flash"

Fade out

Fade in
        Ext.  Outside the front of the Acme Looniversity.  The song is
still playing, right from where it left off, as the Cadillac comes to a
screeching halt across the street.  When it stops, the trunk 'pops' open,
and the six toons exit the car, slamming the doors behind them.  All of the
toons grab as many groceries as they can carry (naturally, Chris has the
most).  Chris slams the car's trunk shut, and races after the others into
the building.  They run through the empty halls of the school, down a
stairwell, and down another hall, until they arrive at the private
laboratory of a one Wile E. Coyote.  From inside of the lab, we can see
Calamity and Wile E. working on a large computer  that is connected to a
massive cauldron, and what looks like the large "beaming" pad, from Star
Trek.  Both Coyotes are busy typing the last few commands into the
computer's memory as Buster bursts into the room, and the song ends.
Surprised, they turn to look at him.
        Buster:  "Pant, pant, pant, are we late?"
        Wile E.:  "Almost!  Where have you been?  And where are the others?"
        Buster:  "It's a _really_ long story.  As for the others..."

        Just as Buster is about to finish his sentence, Babs runs into him
from behind, causing both rabbits to fall forward into the room.
        Babs (a little dazed, staring up at both Coyotes):  "Did someone call?"

        Now Fifi, followed by Shirley come running into the room, tripping
over both rabbits, and falling on the floor (all are still holding onto
what they are carrying).
        Fifi:  "Of all of zee redeeculous places to take a nap Babsie."
        Babs:  "Well _excuse_ me!"

        The two rabbits, loon, and skunk manage to untangle themselfs, just
before Plucky comes rushing into the room, followed by a rather
weighed-down Chris Pew.  Chris just manages to squeeze through the door.
The top half of him is not even visible.  All that we can see of him, is a
giant pile of grocery bags.
        Chris (from behind all of the bags):  "Where do ya want these things?"

        At the sight of this, Calamity's jaw drops to the floor, with a
loud  *CLANG*.  Wile E. just stares at this sight, in complete disbelief.
        Wile E.:  "You can just set them down there."

        Chris drops all of the groceries into a large pile on the floor,
and walks around it (the pile is about twice as big as Chris is).  Babs
walks over to Calamity and presses his nose, causing his lower jaw to
quickly retract into it's original position, with a loud  *KACHING*.
        Wile E.:  "How?"
        Chris:  "I'll explain it later.  As for now, can we just get me
back to my original color combination, please?"

        Wile E. quickly shakes his head for a moment, as if 'snapping' out
of a trance.
        Wile E.:  "Oh!  Right!  First thing's first.  We need to get all of
those groceries out of their sacks, unwrapped, and into the cauldron.  And
hurry!  We don't have much time left!"

        With this said, the toons 'dive' into the gigantic pile of
groceries.  Wile E. and Calamity are forced to run behind the computer, to
keep from getting hit by any flying objects.  We can literally see an arc
of flying groceries, landing in the cauldron.  View to Wile E. and
Calamity.  The kid genius Coyote holds up two signs.  Together they read:
"I've heard of fast food, but this is _ridiculous_!"
        Soon, the food has finished flying.  The two Coyotes peek out from
behind the computer, to see if the coast is clear.  When they establish
that it is safe to leave their hiding place, they approach the group.
        Wile E.:  "First, I need the umbrella."

        Fifi pulls the umbrella from out of her hidden fur coat pocket, and
hands it to the elder genius.  Wile E. takes it over to the cauldron.  He
then takes a small shaker out of his hidden fur coat pocket, and sprinkles
it on the umbrella.  After putting the shaker away, he drops the umbrella
into the large 'pot', with the groceries.  He then approaches the group of
young toons again.
        Wile E.:  "Now, the bow."

        All of the toons look at each other.
        Shirley:  "Like, didn't you get it from Elmyra before she caged you
Fifi?"
        Fifi:  "Non!  Ah thought that Buster, or Babsie, how you say,
gabbed eet!"
        Babs:  "What about Plucky?"
        Plucky:  "I was too busy trying to defend myself!"

        Chris walks over to a nearby chair, and sits down, resting his head
in his hands.
        Chris:  "It figures.  It just figures.  So close, and yet, so far."

        Fifi walks over to comfort her distraught lover, when she suddenly
notices something about his tail.
        Fifi:  "Hold steel Chris."
        Chris (trying to turn around to see what she is doing):  "What?"

        Fifi grabs his tail, and begins feeling around in a certain spot
for something.
        Chris:  "Fifi, this is hardly the time.  Much less the wrong place!"

        Ignoring him, she keeps feeling for something.  Suddenly, she stops
and her eyes 'light up'.  She grabs onto something in his tail fur, and
pulls it out.  It's Elmyra's bow."
        Chris:  "EEEEEYYYYYOOOUUUUUCCCCHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!"

        He leaps out of his chair, and begins rubbing his tail where she
pulled the bow from.
        Fifi (quizzically):  "How deed _zees_ get into your tail?"
        Chris:  "It must've been from when I tackled her."

        Fifi hands the bow to Wile E.  He takes it over to the cauldron,
and drops it in.  Calamity then joins his mentor at the large computer
terminal.
        Wile E.:  "Chris, I need you to stand on the center pad."

        Chris walks over to the large pad, and stands in the center circle.
        Chris:  "Is this thing safe?"
        Wile E.:  "We'll soon find out!"
        Chris:  "What!?!"

        Before the skunk can do anything, Wile E. presses the "RETURN" key
on the key board, and causes the albino skunk to be engulfed in a soft blue
light.  He is lifted off of the ground about an inch or two.  He closes his
eyes tightly, and arches his back as if he is being shocked by a small
charge of electricity again.  His body that is now white, slowly changes
back to its original shade of blue, and the parts of him that are now blue
(his chest, face, tail stripe, and belly fur) slowly change back to their
original shade of pure white.  When all of the color change has completed,
he slowly floats back to the ground, as the soft blue light disappears.
Fifi rushes to him.
        Fifi:  "Chris!  Are vous, how you say, back to zee normal?"

        Chris opens his eyes, to reveal that they are back to their normal
color, and smiles at her.
        Chris:  "Pretty sure I am.  How do I look?"

        She embraces him in a hug.

        THE END

        If you liked this story, cool.  If you didn't, oh well.  If you
would like to send me comment(s), or criticism, my E-mail address is
cneu@trib.com  .  Please just have a reason for writing, though.
        Also, I have written three other stories.  In order, they are Chris
Who?, To Travel, and Skunknapped.  If this story (A Friend Of A Different
Color) didn't make much sense to you, then you probably need to read the
three previously mentioned stories first.
        Now for the legal stuff.  I _think_ the song American Woman was
'done' by The Grand Funk Railroad, but I'm not too sure about that one.
The song Jumping Jack Flash was 'done' by the Rolling Stones in 1969.  And
last (but certainly not least), all caricatures that were used in this
story (besides Chris Pew), are copyrights of Warner Brothers Entertainment,
and were used without permission.  However, I'm not making any money for
doing this, so I _should_ be  fairly safe (for a while, anyway).

                -HellCat

(Without laughter, there would be no true meaning in life).
        [personal observation]