(Authors' note: Howdy folks! I am here again to torture you with yet another of my, well, stories. Before I forget, I want to mention that if anybody out there would like to do some fan-artwork for one of my stories, feel free to do so. There's only one catch. I would prefer to see a copy of said artwork before it gets published. Thanks! Also, thanks to HKUriah for posting this story for others to read.) A Friend Of A Different Color by The HellCat Int. Chris Pews' home. As dawn breaks, a large beam of sunshine lands on him. In the sudden illumination, he rolls over grumbling to himself. He has been sleeping on the red over-stuffed couch, and covered with a large patchwork quilt. After about ten seconds of trying to go back to sleep, he sits up. He throws the quilt off of himself, gets up, and walks over to his coffee pot. He plugs in the percolator, and switches on a small radio sitting next to it. The radio is just beginning to play the song "American Woman." After a few minutes, Chris pours himself a cup of the black mixture, goes over to his couch again, and sits down. Chris (groggily): "Well, here's to the first day at school." He then promptly 'downs' the whole cup of coffee rather quickly, and shakes his head vigorously. He then looks at a watch on his wrist, and blinks his eyes. He shakes his wrist, and then holds the watch next to his ear. He then looks at his watch again. Chris: "Huh. I guess time just _feels_ slower in the morning." He walks over to the coffee pot, unplugs it, leaves his java mug there, and switches off the radio. After yawning, stretching out his arms and legs, and checking his watch again, he grabs his coat off of the rack next to his door. He opens the door, and finds himself face to face with Fifi La Fume (she is wearing a green back pack), who knocks on his forehead. After hitting him gently a couple of times (causing him to wince, thinking she was really going to hit him hard), she notices her mistake, and giggles a little bit. Chris: "Thanks Fifi. I needed that." Fifi: "Je regrette (English translation - I'm sorry)." Chris: "That's okay. Stupid mistakes happen to the best of us!" Chris says this as he puts his leather jacket on, steps outside, and closes the door to his Lincoln behind him. The two skunks walk over to Chris' DeLorian. Chris (stopping): "Just a second Feef, I need my backpack." Chris opens the gull wing door, grabs his bag, and shuts the door. He then swings the pack onto his right shoulder, as both he and Fifi begin walking out of the junkyard toward the Looniversity. Fade out Fade in Ext. The front of the Acme Looniversity. The two skunks come walking up the street. Chris stops at the Looniversity steps. Fifi: "What eez eet mon passionate one?" Chris: "This is going to be some of the first formal education, that I've ever received. What could I have possibly been thinking." Fifi: "When vous left 'ome?" Chris: "No, when I agreed to this." Fifi looks at his face quizzically. She finds that he's just joking, by the smile that he's giving her. Chris: "C'mon Feef. We've got a whole year to go, and I need to get registered." The two skunks start up the steps. Fade out Fade in Int. The school lunch room. Several hours have passed. Until this point, Chris has spent most of the day on a tour of the school, as given by the usual loud mouth for the job, Plucky. We look at a clock hanging on the wall. It reads 11:59. Gogo Dodo pops out from underneath the clock (coo-coo clock style), and turns the minute hand of the clock to read 12:00. He then looks at the empty lunch room, and yells. Gogo: "IIIIIIIIIIIIT'S LUNCH-TIME!" Gogo then 'goes' back into the clock. Suddenly, a bell rings and the room quickly fills with students visiting, eating, and 'zipping' from table to table. Chris is standing in the lunch line ahead of Calamity. The kid genius coyote has a triangular shaped beaker filled with a neon-green liquid. As both are getting their lunches', Chris bumps Calamitys' beaker. It rocks for a moment, and then spills onto Chris' lunch. Chris grabs a Coke, and picks up his tray. As he does this, the edge of the tray catches the edge of the beaker, and stands it up-right on Calamity's tray. The only difference is that now it's empty. Chris leaves with his tray. When he is gone, Calamity looks down to notice that the beaker is missing it's glowing contents. He looks at us (the audience) and holds up a sign that says, "My experiment!" He flips the sign over. It now reads, "It evaporated!" Meanwhile, Chris walks over, and sits down at what is obviously 'the guy's table'. He sits next to Buster, and across from Plucky. Chris (making a disgusted face at the food sitting before him): "In all of my life, I don't think I've ever seen anything so revolting, given the name "Food". Buster, what the heck is this junk, anyway?" Buster: "Nobody's sure." Plucky (poking his lunch with a fork): "This looks like something one of the bus drivers probably hit on the way to school this morning." Chris: "Please Duck, I'm nauseated enough as it is. I don't need help, believe me." Hamton (sitting down next to Chris): "Hi guys! What's up?" Plucky: "Hey Hammy." Gesturing to the blue skunk. "Oh, this is Chris." The skunk and pig shake hands briefly. Then, Hamton begins eating. Chris: "Is it poisonous?" Hamton (swallowing, and then giving Chris a strange look): "No, why?" Chris (shrugging): "Oh, no reason." Chris eyes the food before him carefully. Chris: "If you can't beat 'em..." He cuts a hunk of meat loose with his fork, and takes a bite of it. His eyes widen a bit. Chris: "Wow! This stuff is actually pretty good!" He takes two more bites, and then drops his fork. He has a look on his face that is a cross between confusion and pain. The other guys stop eating, and watch the skunk. They all swallow hard on what they are eating. Chris gets up, and staggers towards the door. He gets to about the middle of the room, and collapses onto his knees. The cafeteria is silent. Some of the students that haven't finished lunch look at their trays cautiously, and then push the food away. Camera wipe to 'the girl's table'. Shirley (pointing across the room): " Hey! Like, is that Chris, er sum junk?" Babs: "Yeah! And it looks like his stomach just couldn't handle the..." The girls look at each other, and then push their meals away. Fifi jumps up from her lunch, and runs over to Chris, with Babs, Buster, Plucky, Shirley, and Hamton at her heels. Fifi: "Mon amour! Zay have KEELED vous!" The six toons stop dead in their tracks, to stare in horror as to what is happening to Chris. Chris looks at his right hand. It is shaking a little. It slowly begins to change colors. The tips of his fingers turn a bright white. The color begins to 'bleed' down his arm, and then all over his entire body. Chris closes his eyes tightly, and arches his back a little bit, as if he he just got a small charge of electricity shot through his body. When the white color reaches the parts of him that are normally white (his face, chest, and belly fur, along with the stripe down his back), it changes them the same shade of blue that the rest of his body used to be. When the color change has ceased, the skunk appears to be a bit more relaxed. He opens his eyes, and looks up at Fifi. She gasps in fright, at what has happened to him. The iris' of his eyes have turned to a deep shade of blood-red. Chris (in a raspy voice): "Fifi, I don't feel so good." He then passes out. Fade out Fade in Int. Bugs Bunny's office. As Chris opens his eyes, he notices that Bugs is on the phone. He also sees Fifi sitting in a chair nearby, with a worried look on her face. Bugs (glancing at Chris): "Eh, dats right! And from what I hear, it looked pretty... Eh, I think he's coming to. Ya might not need to send that ambulance after all. Thanks doc. Bye." Bugs hangs up the phone. Chris tries to get up, but just falls off of the brown leather couch that he has been resting on. Chris: "Ooph! That hurt." The weak skunk gets onto his hands and knees. Fifi helps him up, as Bugs rushes over. Chris sits down on the couch. Chris (squinting): "Would somebody please close the curtains, it's _way_ too bright in here." Bugs (going behind his desk, and shutting the curtains): "Better doc?" Chris (opening his eyes): "Yeah, actually. Thanks." Fifi (sitting next to him): "Are vous okay?" Chris: "Give me a little while to get back to ya on that Feef." Bugs: "Can I get ya anything?" Chris: "Yeah. How about the resident genius." Bugs goes over to an intercom at his desk. Bugs: "Eh, Granny? Could ya have Calamity, and Wile E. Coyote come to my office immediately?" Granny (a little distorted over the speaker): "Sure thing, Bugs." Minutes later, the two irate Coyotes come barging into Bugs' office. Wile E.: "Bugs, what is the meaning of this!?! I was in the middle of class, when I had to get Elmer to cover for me." Calamity produces a sign that says "And I was in the middle of a physics test!" Bugs: "Eh, sorry guys, but we kinda got an emoigency here." Bugs then gestures to Chris, who is still seated next to Fifi on the large couch. He is holding Fifi's hand, and is looking down. He looks up at both coyotes. Calamity holds up a sign that says "Ouch." Bugs: "Ouch is right kid. We've gotta get him back to his usual self. So Wile E., what do ya think?" Wile E. (studying Chris very carefully): "I don't know Bugs. I've never seen anything like this before in my entire life! How did this happen?" Chris: "Well, I was trying a school lunch for the first time, and this is what happened to me. I've had some bad reactions to ill-prepared foods in the past, but this is _ridiculous_!" Calamity sheepishly holds up a sign that says "I bet I know what happened." Bugs: "Eh, did _you_cause dis Calamity?" Calamity walks over to Bugs' desk, and gestures to an empty sheet of notebook paper sitting on the desk. Bugs: "Eh, sure kid. Ya need a pen?" Calamity shakes his head. He grabs a pen out of his right pocket (hidden fur-coat pocket), and writes for about a minute. He then hands the sheet of paper to Chris. Chris (reading the paper): "Well, this makes sense. Sort of, anyway." Fifi (leaning against him, and trying to read the paper over his shoulder): "What does eet say Chris?" Chris: "I was going to conduct an experiment on the kitchen's meatloaf. While I was getting my lunch, the liquid that I was experimenting with mysteriously disappeared. I fear that it somehow or another managed to get onto Chris' lunch." (setting the paper in his lap, and looking at Calamity) "Hey, it's okay Calamity. I'm not mad. These things just happen." (looking at Wile E.) "After all, it's not like I'm going to be stuck like this for the rest of my life, is it?" Wile E.: "It's hard to tell. Calamity, what was in that chemical you were using?" Calamity grabs the paper out of Chris' lap, and jots down an equation. He then hands it to his mentor. Wile E. looks at the equation, and then at the ashamed Calamity. Wile E.: "Well, it isn't _totally_ hopeless." Bugs: "I take it dat's not too good for odds." Wile E.: "There is a way to cure this, but unfortunately there is a time-limit. I'll make up a list for you. Bugs, they're going to need some help. May I suggest the usual for this situation?" Bugs: "Coitainly." (into his intercom). "Eh, Granny? Would you call Buster and Babs Bunny, Plucky Duck, and Shoiley da Loon to my office please?" Granny: "Okay Bugs." Bugs: "Tanks." (to Wile E.) "Anyting else?" Wile E.: "Just one. Chris, I would suggest that you avoid prolonged exposure to sunlight, and be sure to wear sunglasses when you go outside. This chemical that entered your system, has somehow caused a severe case of Albinism." At that moment, the two rabbits, duck, and loon walk into the room. Babs: "Is he any better Bugs?" Bugs : "See for yourself little lady." Bugs gestures to the now Albino skunk. Buster: "That _had_ to hurt." Chris (in a now clear voice): "Pal, you don't know the half of it." Wile E. gets the group's attention, and explains everything to them. Wile E.: "Then, after you have retrieved all of the items on the list, meet Calamity and I in my laboratory, downstairs. But unfortunately, Chris can not go with you." Shirley: "Like, why not? Wouldn't the sun totally, like, bring some color back into him, er sum junk?" Wile E.: "No! I'm afraid that it might hurt him severely! Which reminds me, do you need a ride home Chris?" Chris: "With the way you've been talking about it, YES! After all, I don't need to get hurt anymore than I already am!" Wile E. (not knowing about the robotic parts of the skunk): "Point taken. Calamity, here are the keys to my Mercedes. You know what it looks like. Take Chris home, and then come back here." Calamity takes the keys from Wile E., and then holds up a sign that says "O.K." Wile E.: "And Calamity, you remember my one rule." Calamity produces a sign from behind his back again, as he rolls his eyes (he has obviously been told this more than once). The sign reads "No chasing Road-Runners with the car." Wile E.: "Good." As Calamity and Chris leave the room, the song "Come Together" by the Beatles begins playing. We follow Chris and Calamity down the hall, until they walk outside. Calamity opens the door, and takes a deep breath as he walks outside. Chris opens the door, and then quickly turns away. Chris: "AH! MY EYES!!!" He pulls a pair of silver thin-rimmed sunglasses out of his inside jacket pocket, and puts them on. He turns around again, and walks outside. As he gets to the bottom of the front steps, a brand new silver Mercedes Benz pulls up in front of him. He opens the front passenger door, and gets into the car. The car quickly pulls away from the curb, and drives off. Fade out Fade in Int. Bugs Bunny's office. Chris and Calamity had just left. Wile E. hands Fifi his list of things needed. Wile E.: "Here are the items that you will need, in order to save Chris. Any questions?" Fifi: "Oui. Vous said zat zere eez zee time leemeet?" Wile E.: "Yes. You have approximately twelve hours." Buster looks at his watch, and notes that it is 2:30. Bugs: "Eh, you kids is gonna need some transportation." (Bugs hands Buster a set of car keys). "Be careful Buster. I just had 'her detailed yesterday." Buster (astonished that he is holding the keys to Bugs' car): "Y-y-yeah! N-n-no problem!" (turning to the rest of the 'gang'): "Okay crew, lets' _hit_the_road_!" Fade out Fade in Ext. The teacher's parking garage, behind the Looniversity. The skunk, two rabbits, and waterfowl are sitting in a 1959 drop-top Cadillac El Dorado Barritz.. Buster starts the car, as they all fasten their seat belts. Just so this is imaginable, Buster is driving, with Babs riding shot-gun. Fifi is sitting between Plucky and Shirley in the back seat. Buster: "Where to first Fifi?" Fifi: "Zee grocery store!" Buster puts the car into reverse. The Cadillac screeches out of it's parking space, and comes to a neck-wrenching halt. Everyone in the car glares at Buster, who just slinks down into his seat. Buster: "Wow! This thing is just a little _too_ touchy!" Buster puts the car in 'Drive', and the Caddy zooms off. Fade out Fade in Int. The Acme Supermarket. The six toons walk into the store. Fifi pulls out a list, and begins searching. Plucky takes a glance at the list Fifi is holding, and then looks at the camera. Plucky: "This may take a while folks." He then turns, grabs a shopping cart, and starts after the others. Fade out Fade in Int. We're still in the grocery store, about two hours later. The toons are waiting patiently (as patiently as possible) in line to get checked out. Babs hangs on Buster, and then on a magazine rack, and so on (basically, just driving everybody nuts). Babs (staring up at the cashier, a look of pure boredom on her face): "Come _on_! What's taking so long!?!" Cashier (punching computer buttons): "The cash register froze up! I guess I'll have to go find my manager." With that, the cashier leaves. Fifi looks at her watch. Fifi (impatiently tapping her foot): "We'll _never_ get out of 'ere!" Babs: "That's it! If you wanna ever get anything done..." (Babs then spin-changes into a replica of the cashier's uniform). "...Do it yourself! Taa daa!" Buster (slapping himself on the forehead, and then dragging his hand down his face): "Babs, are you serious?" Babs jumps up onto the counter, and looks down at Buster. Babs: "Just toss me the groceries, Blueboy!" Babs get smacked in the face with a tomato. After wiping her face off, she glares downward. Babs: "I saw that, Duck!" Fifi: "Eef vous don't stop zees cloning, we weel be, how you say, too late to be saving heem!" Shirley: "Like, that's clowning Fifi. Cloning is a pathetic attempt at playing 'God'!" Plucky: "Whoa! Calm down Shirl! Remember how long it took Perfecto to renovate, after the _last _ time you went off the deep end?" Plucky (having no idea that he said anything wrong), gets' fried by a very unhappy Loon off camera, as we watch Buster and Fifi toss groceries to Babs. Babs catches the groceries, scans them, bags them, and then tosses them back into the cart. She does this so fast, that she is merely a pink blur. When all of the groceries are finished, she hops off of the counter, and spin changes back into her normal outfit. When she is finished with all of that, she collapses into Buster's arms, out of pure exhaustion. Just then, the cashier returns. Cashier: "Do you remember what I was doing?" Fifi: "Oui! We were getting ready to, how you say, pay vous." Cashier: "Oh! Right! That'll be $200.98." Plucky (still smoldering): "200 bucks!" Fifi pulls a large wad of folded-up dollar bills out of her hidden fur coat pocket. She mumbles something about Chris 'owing her one', as she thumbs through the bills, and hands $201 of it to the cashier. The cashier then hands her two pennies. After this, she puts the money (still a rather substantial amount) back into her pocket. Babs: "Wow Feef! Where'd ya get THAT kind of money from?" Fifi: "Ah have saved everything zat mon family sent weeth moi to Acme Acres. Ah steel get a beet of money from mon pepe (father) every month." The cart is so loaded down with groceries, that it takes both Buster and Plucky pushing as hard as they can, just to move it. They start on their way out of the store, with the girls following them, and talking to each other. Fade out Fade in Ext. Everyone is standing behind the car, as Buster slams the trunk shut. He turns to the group. Buster: "Okay gang, we have about eight hours left. What else is there Fifi?" Fifi looks at the list, and gulps hard. Fifi: "Just two theengs. But ah don't like zem at all." Babs: "Aw, come on Feef! How bad can they be?" Fifi: "Zee umbrella from a Dodo's 'ead, et, (gulp) zee bow from _Elmyra's_ 'ead! All in unison: "ELMYRA!!!" Babs (turning to us): "Say! Just what kind of crazy cure _is_ this, anyway?" Fifi (grabbing Babs by the shoulders): "Ah don't know, but ah'm not letteeng Elmyra be zee cause of mon boyfriend's torture!" Shirley: "But Fifi, going to Elmyra's house is like, committing _suicide_, er sum junk!" Fifi: "Look, Loon. Ah am saveeng mon boyfriend, weeth, or weethout vous. _All_ of vous!" Buster looks at Fifi. Her eyes show how much she cares about completing this task. Plucky on the other hand, just wants to save himself. Plucky: "OOOHHH NO! I'm outta here." (Plucky begins walking away) "You guys can _have_ Elmyra for all I care. And I also remember what happened the _last_ time we went into Wacky Land." Buster grabs Plucky by the neck, and drags him back. Buster: "Forget it Plucky. If I'm in, you're in. And I'm _IN_!" Buster drops the strangled Duck in front of Shirley. Buster: "C'mon, Loon girl! Whadda ya say? He'd probably do the same for us." Shirley: "Like, okay Buster. I'm in." The whole group turns to Babs, who has her arms crossed, and is looking very defensive at the moment. Buster: "Well Babs?" Babs just 'throws' down her arms, and sighs. Babs: "Okay, ya got me. I'm in." Buster: "Great! Next stop, Wacky Land!" Fade out Fade in Ext. The crooked bridge leading to Wacky Land, that is blocked off by the giant "DANGER" sign. The Cadillac stops about 50 feet away, and all of the toons (and toonettes) exit the car. They all stop, just before their trip into the unknown. Buster: "Well, gang. All set?" Babs: "All set!" Buster: "Then here we go!" The five toons walk across the bridge, and enter the craziest place that anyone has ever seen. Just as they enter Wacky Land, Fifi stops. Noticing her, the whole group stops as well. Babs: "What's wrong Feef?" Fifi: "Ah don't know what eet ees, but ah have zee feeleeng zat ah should not be, 'ow you say, looking down." Buster (knowing better than to look and see if they were on firm Wacky Land soil, or not, reaches down to feel the ground. From a backed-up view, we can see that they have walked off of the edge of the bridge, and are standing about 10 feet off of the ground. Buster: "Oh boy. This could hurt." Babs: "What?" They all look down together, to discover that they are rather far from the ground. All: "AAAIIIIIEEEEEEEE!" *WHUMP* After untangling themselfs, they look around to discover Gogo fishing at the garden-hose stream. The only strange thing (for even Gogo), is that his fishing line is sticking straight up in the air. They all walk over to see what he is doing. Shirley: "Like, what're you doing Gogo?" Gogo: "Fly fishing!" Babs: "Hold it, Gogo. Haven't we done this joke before?" Gogo: "Yeah, but I thought it would be good for anybody who missed that episode." Babs (shrugging): "Good enough." Gogo sets down his pole, and begins talking. Gogo: "So, what brings _you_ to Wacky Land?" Babs: "The car." Buster: "We were wondering if you could help us out Gogo. Ya see, we kinda need the umbrella off of your head." Gogo: "My WHAT!?! No way!" Gogo crosses his arms, and turns around, so that his back is facing the group. Fifi gets down on her knees, and begins pleading. Fifi: "Please Gogo! Eet ees pour mon boyfriend! He was eenvolved een zee tres 'oreeble aceedent! Nous need zee umbrella from your 'ead, to cure heem!" Gogo uncrosses his arms, and turns back around. Fifi stands up, and anxiously awaits his reply. Gogo: "Well, since you asked so nicely..." The Dodo pulls a briefcase from behind his back, and opens it. Inside it are about six umbrellas, just like the one on his head. Gogo: "Sure!" Fifi happily snatches one of the umbrellas' out of the briefcase. After thanking Gogo again, the group turns around, and goes to cross the Wacky Land bridge. Gogo puts the briefcase away, and picks up his fishing pole. The group gets to where the bridge is, and notices that they now have to climb a ten foot ladder to reach it. Babs: "Gogo, You _still_ haven't fixed this bridge right!" (the bridge to Wacky Land was severely damaged when the woman from the Adult Coalition Against Funny Cartoons used her machine against Wacky Land itself) Gogo: "Don't worry Babs, I'll fix it!" Babs (under her breath, as she starts climbing the ladder): "Yeah, right. When I'm older than Bugs Bunny." The group climbs the ladder, and crosses the bridge back into Acme Acres. Every one then piles into the car. Buster: "Okay, crew. Next stop, (gulp) Elmyra's house." Fade out (as the Caddy drives back toward Acme Acres). Fade in Ext. Outside of Elmyra's house, as the Cadillac pulls up to the curb, about two houses down (after all, who in their right mind would want Elmyra to know that they were around). It's about sunset, as the five toons exit the car, and assemble on the sidewalk. Shirley: "Like, how much time do we have left Buster?" Buster (glancing at his watch): "About six hours Shirl. Okay gang, we can't afford to get caught. So, anybody got an idea?" Plucky: "Yeah! Let's just knock on her door. When she answers, WHAM! We hit her over the head with a mallet." Babs: "For once, I think the Duck just might have a half-way good idea!" Plucky is about to say something, but Buster interrupts him. Buster: "Okay. Let's go." The five toons cautiously make their way to Elmyra's house. When they reach her front door, Plucky is about to knock when Elmyra suddenly opens up the door Elmyra: "EEEEEEWWWWWW! Bunnies, and Duckies!" Before they have a chance to run, she grabs them and drags them into her house, slamming the door behind her. Fifi (who was smart enough not to stand with the others), pokes her head around the corner of the house to see if the coast is clear. She then walks to the front door. Knowing that it can be considered potential suicide, she quietly opens Elmyra's front door, creeps into the house, and (without making a sound) she silently closes the door behind her. She creeps around Elmyra's house being very _very_ cautious of booby-traps scattered throughout the house. Fifi slips upstairs, and peeks into Elmyra's bedroom. There, she watches her friends get caged by Elmyra. Elmyra: "Now you stay here, and I'll get you your mud pie dinners." Elmyra turns, and skips out of her room. Fifi ducks into the bathroom down the hallway. Elmyra suddenly stops skipping, and sniffs at the air. Elmyra: "EEEWWW!!! The bathroom smells funny again! I'll fix it!" A look of panic forms on Fifi's face. Elmyra would find her for sure! Elmyra walks into the bathroom, and grabs an aerosol can from the edge of the bathroom sink. She sprays the can for a moment, puts it back, and then leaves, closing the door behind her. Fifi throws open the shower curtain, and falls out of the bathtub coughing hard. Fifi: "(Hack, hack, hack, gasp) Ah _hate_ zat stuff!" She then quietly gets to her feet, and walks to the door. She gently opens the door, and looks around. When she sees that Elmyra isn't around, she darts from the bathroom into Elmyra's bedroom. Fifi goes to the rabbit cage first. Babs (just above a whisper): "Fifi! How did you keep from getting caught?" Fifi (pulling a bobby-pin out of her hair, and then trying to pick the cage's lock): "Just zee, how you say, pure luck!" Just as Fifi is about to get the rabbit cage opened, Elmyra comes skipping into the room, and drops her mud pies when she sees Fifi. Elmyra: "EEEEEEWWWWWW!!! The cute purple stinky kitty!" Elmyra pulls a can of tomato juice out from behind her back, and soaks Fifi with it before she can do anything. The next thing Fifi knows, she is sitting in a locked cage, and covered in tomato juice. About four and a half hours later, all five toons are still in their cages. The light in the room has been turned off, and it is dark outside. Plucky is trying his best to bend the bars of his cage. Shirley and Babs are talking, and Buster is softly playing a tune on his harmonica. Fifi is just sitting in her cage. She has her legs pulled up against her body, and is holding them close with her arms, while she silently stares out Elmyra's bedroom window. Babs: "Hey, Feef. Whatcha lookin' at?" Fifi (turning to Babs): "Notheeng. Ah was just theenkeeng." Fifi then turns, and looks out of the window again. Shirley looks at Babs, who just shrugs. Suddenly, Fifi notices something streak into the bedroom through the window, and disappear into the shadows. She lets go of her legs, and crawls to the edge of her cage. Fifi (whispering): "Hello. Who eez here?" Chris' face appears out of the darkness, close to Fifi's cage. Chris: "Bonjour." Fifi: "Chris!" Chris (whispering): "Shhh! Are you nuts? Keep your voice down! I don't really want to meet whoever did this to you." Chris holds his right hand near the lock on Fifi's cage. He forms a fist, with his pinkie finger extended (for those of you who forget, toons don't have 'middle' fingers). The first joint of his finger 'flips' open, and a skeleton-key extends from the small opening. Chris (beginning to unlock Fifi's cage): "I'll have ya outta there in just a minute Feef." Before Chris can get the lock opened, he hears an innocent, yet strangely scary voice. Elmyra: "Are my bunny-wunnies ready to take a bath?" Fifi: "Hide Chris! Eef she finds vous, we are _all_ doomed!" Chris retracts the skeleton-key, and his finger shuts, as he slides under Elmyra's bed. Elmyra walks into the room, and switches the light on. Elmyra: "Where are my bunnie-wunnies?" Babs (whispering): "Quick, Buster! Think of something!" Buster: "I'm trying!" Just as Elmyra is about to open the rabbit cage, Chris Pew slips out from underneath Elmyra's bed, wearing his sunglasses. Naturally, she spots him instantly. Elmyra: "EEEEEWWWWW!!! A cute _white_ stinky kitty! I've never had one of _those_ before! Come to me cute kitty!" Now, you have to remember that Chris has absolutely no idea what so ever as to who Elmyra is. All that he knows about her, is that she's a threat. He takes the position that a wrestler would use to begin an attack, and charges at Elmyra. She opens her arms, expecting him to run into her arms. Instead, he falls to his knees at the last second, and slides under Elmyra, causing her to trip and fall flat on her face. Before Elmyra can even _think_ (which is actually a contradiction of terms for Elmyra) about getting up, Chris grabs her, and locks her in one of her own cages. Elmyra: "Hey! You're supposed to be _my_ pet!" Babs: "It's Chris! We're saved!" Chris again opens his pinkie finger, and extends the skeleton key. After he opens the cages 'holding' his friends, he leads them outside. When they get outside, Buster leads them to the car. Buster is about to open the drivers side door. Chris: "Wait, Buster. Let me drive. I'm faster." Buster: "But, this isn't my car." Chris: "I know. That's why I didn't suggest that Babs drive." Babs: "I heard that!" Buster (tossing the keys over the car to Chris, who catches them): "Okay. You win." Buster and Chris trade places, as they all get into the car. Everyone puts on their seat belts, as Chris starts the car. Buster: "Say Chris, something's been bothering me." Chris: "What?" Buster: "How'd you know where we were?" Chris: "Easy. I just followed the rabbit, duck, and skunk tracks to the front door. Besides, how many Cadillacs in this town have plates that say 'B.Bunny'?" Buster: "Good point." Chris shifts the car it 'drive'. We watch from a rear view as the Caddy peels away from the curb, goes 'rocketing' down the street, and screeches around a corner. As all of this is happening, we can hear the Rolling Stones playing "Jumping Jack Flash" Fade out Fade in Ext. Outside the front of the Acme Looniversity. The song is still playing, right from where it left off, as the Cadillac comes to a screeching halt across the street. When it stops, the trunk 'pops' open, and the six toons exit the car, slamming the doors behind them. All of the toons grab as many groceries as they can carry (naturally, Chris has the most). Chris slams the car's trunk shut, and races after the others into the building. They run through the empty halls of the school, down a stairwell, and down another hall, until they arrive at the private laboratory of a one Wile E. Coyote. From inside of the lab, we can see Calamity and Wile E. working on a large computer that is connected to a massive cauldron, and what looks like the large "beaming" pad, from Star Trek. Both Coyotes are busy typing the last few commands into the computer's memory as Buster bursts into the room, and the song ends. Surprised, they turn to look at him. Buster: "Pant, pant, pant, are we late?" Wile E.: "Almost! Where have you been? And where are the others?" Buster: "It's a _really_ long story. As for the others..." Just as Buster is about to finish his sentence, Babs runs into him from behind, causing both rabbits to fall forward into the room. Babs (a little dazed, staring up at both Coyotes): "Did someone call?" Now Fifi, followed by Shirley come running into the room, tripping over both rabbits, and falling on the floor (all are still holding onto what they are carrying). Fifi: "Of all of zee redeeculous places to take a nap Babsie." Babs: "Well _excuse_ me!" The two rabbits, loon, and skunk manage to untangle themselfs, just before Plucky comes rushing into the room, followed by a rather weighed-down Chris Pew. Chris just manages to squeeze through the door. The top half of him is not even visible. All that we can see of him, is a giant pile of grocery bags. Chris (from behind all of the bags): "Where do ya want these things?" At the sight of this, Calamity's jaw drops to the floor, with a loud *CLANG*. Wile E. just stares at this sight, in complete disbelief. Wile E.: "You can just set them down there." Chris drops all of the groceries into a large pile on the floor, and walks around it (the pile is about twice as big as Chris is). Babs walks over to Calamity and presses his nose, causing his lower jaw to quickly retract into it's original position, with a loud *KACHING*. Wile E.: "How?" Chris: "I'll explain it later. As for now, can we just get me back to my original color combination, please?" Wile E. quickly shakes his head for a moment, as if 'snapping' out of a trance. Wile E.: "Oh! Right! First thing's first. We need to get all of those groceries out of their sacks, unwrapped, and into the cauldron. And hurry! We don't have much time left!" With this said, the toons 'dive' into the gigantic pile of groceries. Wile E. and Calamity are forced to run behind the computer, to keep from getting hit by any flying objects. We can literally see an arc of flying groceries, landing in the cauldron. View to Wile E. and Calamity. The kid genius Coyote holds up two signs. Together they read: "I've heard of fast food, but this is _ridiculous_!" Soon, the food has finished flying. The two Coyotes peek out from behind the computer, to see if the coast is clear. When they establish that it is safe to leave their hiding place, they approach the group. Wile E.: "First, I need the umbrella." Fifi pulls the umbrella from out of her hidden fur coat pocket, and hands it to the elder genius. Wile E. takes it over to the cauldron. He then takes a small shaker out of his hidden fur coat pocket, and sprinkles it on the umbrella. After putting the shaker away, he drops the umbrella into the large 'pot', with the groceries. He then approaches the group of young toons again. Wile E.: "Now, the bow." All of the toons look at each other. Shirley: "Like, didn't you get it from Elmyra before she caged you Fifi?" Fifi: "Non! Ah thought that Buster, or Babsie, how you say, gabbed eet!" Babs: "What about Plucky?" Plucky: "I was too busy trying to defend myself!" Chris walks over to a nearby chair, and sits down, resting his head in his hands. Chris: "It figures. It just figures. So close, and yet, so far." Fifi walks over to comfort her distraught lover, when she suddenly notices something about his tail. Fifi: "Hold steel Chris." Chris (trying to turn around to see what she is doing): "What?" Fifi grabs his tail, and begins feeling around in a certain spot for something. Chris: "Fifi, this is hardly the time. Much less the wrong place!" Ignoring him, she keeps feeling for something. Suddenly, she stops and her eyes 'light up'. She grabs onto something in his tail fur, and pulls it out. It's Elmyra's bow." Chris: "EEEEEYYYYYOOOUUUUUCCCCHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!" He leaps out of his chair, and begins rubbing his tail where she pulled the bow from. Fifi (quizzically): "How deed _zees_ get into your tail?" Chris: "It must've been from when I tackled her." Fifi hands the bow to Wile E. He takes it over to the cauldron, and drops it in. Calamity then joins his mentor at the large computer terminal. Wile E.: "Chris, I need you to stand on the center pad." Chris walks over to the large pad, and stands in the center circle. Chris: "Is this thing safe?" Wile E.: "We'll soon find out!" Chris: "What!?!" Before the skunk can do anything, Wile E. presses the "RETURN" key on the key board, and causes the albino skunk to be engulfed in a soft blue light. He is lifted off of the ground about an inch or two. He closes his eyes tightly, and arches his back as if he is being shocked by a small charge of electricity again. His body that is now white, slowly changes back to its original shade of blue, and the parts of him that are now blue (his chest, face, tail stripe, and belly fur) slowly change back to their original shade of pure white. When all of the color change has completed, he slowly floats back to the ground, as the soft blue light disappears. Fifi rushes to him. Fifi: "Chris! Are vous, how you say, back to zee normal?" Chris opens his eyes, to reveal that they are back to their normal color, and smiles at her. Chris: "Pretty sure I am. How do I look?" She embraces him in a hug. THE END If you liked this story, cool. If you didn't, oh well. If you would like to send me comment(s), or criticism, my E-mail address is cneu@trib.com . Please just have a reason for writing, though. Also, I have written three other stories. In order, they are Chris Who?, To Travel, and Skunknapped. If this story (A Friend Of A Different Color) didn't make much sense to you, then you probably need to read the three previously mentioned stories first. Now for the legal stuff. I _think_ the song American Woman was 'done' by The Grand Funk Railroad, but I'm not too sure about that one. The song Jumping Jack Flash was 'done' by the Rolling Stones in 1969. And last (but certainly not least), all caricatures that were used in this story (besides Chris Pew), are copyrights of Warner Brothers Entertainment, and were used without permission. However, I'm not making any money for doing this, so I _should_ be fairly safe (for a while, anyway). -HellCat (Without laughter, there would be no true meaning in life). [personal observation]