Authors note: As most of you probably saw, I posted a message on the list a while ago asking peoply if they have seen the film Pulp Fiction or not. Well here is the reason why: This basically is a parody of PulpFiction using Tiny Toons. Here is what I've written so far. If you think It has potential and I should carry on with it, let me know, and I will. DarkmaN (the_darkman@hotmail.com) Enjoy >;-> First Draft, June 1997 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1. INT. WEENIE BURGER - MORNING 1. A normal morning at Weenie Burger in Acme Acres. It's about 9:00am in the morning. While the place isn't jammed, there's a healthy number of toons drinking treble choclate shakes, and struggling with the special morning burger. Two of these toons are a young pair of rabbits. The blue rabbit has a deep, kinda "bronchitis" style voice, wears a hawian type shirt and no pants. The pink rabbit wears two ribbons on her ears, a brown knee length dress and talks like she has suffered an over dose of cappachino! BLUE RABBIT No, forget it, it's too risky. I'm through doin' that stuff. PINK RABBIT You always say that, the same thing every time: never again, I'm through, too dangerous. BLUE RABBIT I know that's what I always say. I'm always right too, but -- PINK RABBIT -- but you forget about it in a day or two -- BLUE RABBIT -- yeah, well, the days of me forgittin' are over, and the days of me rememberin' have just begun. PINK RABBIT When you go on like this, you know what you sound like? BLUE RABBIT I sound like one sensible rabbit, is what I sound like. PINK RABBIT You sound like a duck. (imitates a duck) Quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack... BLUE RABBIT Well take heart, 'cause you're never gonna hafta hear it again. Because since I'm never gonna do it again, you're never gonna hafta hear me quack about how I'm never gonna do it again. PINK RABBIT After this one. BLUE RABBIT (with a sheepish grin) Correct. After this one. Just then, Fowlmouth comes by with a pot of coffee. FOWLMOUTH Anybody want any dadgum coffee? PINK RABBIT FOWLMOUTH, whadda you doin in this story! BLUE RABBIT Yeah, I thought they couldn't find you a part! FOWLMOUTH Don't talk to me about parts, I get a phone call this morning from my dadgum agent, tellin' me he got me a dadgum part. And look what it is; A DADGUM WAITRESS! BLUE RABBIT Err, gee, thats to bad! FOWLMOUTH Your dadgum right it's to bad! I'M A DADGUM GOOD ACTOR! BLUE RABBIT Err, yeah, I'm sure you are. But... FOWLMOUTH And another thing, who the heck made you two the stars! I.....ACKKKKKKK! A cane comes on from the side of the screen and pulls Fowlmouth off the scene.The Blue and Pink rabbit look at each other in puzzlement and carry on there conversation. BLUE RABBIT I mean the way it is now, you're takin' the same risk as when you eat a Mc. Donalds, in fact you take more of a risk. Mc. Donalds is easier. Mc. Donalds don't use any lard in cooking their burgers, you know that? Pink Rabbit shakes her head. You can't even get fat offa' Mc. Donalds. I heard about this one fellah, walks into one of their restaurants and orders 750 big macs. Completely cleans the place out, he doesn't even gain a pound! PINK RABBIT Did he pay for the burgers? BLUE RABBIT I dunno, maybe he gets alot of vouchers, but the point of the story isn't whether or not he paid for the meal, it's that he didn't gain any weight. PINK RABBIT So you wanna eat Mc. Donalds? BLUE RABBIT I didn't say that. I just meant that if we did then it would be easier than what we've been doin'. PINK BUNNY And no more Burger king? BLUE RABBIT Huh huh, you said it! BLUE RABBIT Besides, it isn't the giggle that it was before. None of the toys are as good as they used to be; figures, crayons. I mean, what ever happened to pull-and-go cars? or the wind up horses. Just, forget it, no way am I goin' back there. PINK RABBIT So, what then? Taco Belle? BLUE RABBIT Not in this life! PINK RABBIT Well what then? Blue looks around him. BLUE RABBIT This place! PINK RABBIT Here? Weenie Burger? The capital of colesteral? BLUE RABBIT Nobody ever eats greasy food anymore! Why not? Burger King, Mc Donalds, Jack in the box, you could open a weight loss center in one of them. This place, on the other hand, they POUR the food onto your plate! Fat, what's wrong with it? PINK RABBIT You mean; What ISN'T wrong with it! BLUE RABBIT No, think about it for a minute. We're toons! Right? PINK RABBIT Uh-huh. BLUE RABBIT We aren't supposed to die! Right? PINK RABBIT Yup. BLUE RABBIT So that chops the worry of a heart attack. What else is there? Getting fat? Huh, us toons stay fat for about five seconds before we return to normal again. So what's the problem? Huh? PINK BUNNY Okay then, lets do it, right here right now. BLUE RABBIT Allright. Same as usual, your on the soft drinks, I handle the food! The two look at each other and slap their ACME discount cards on the table. PINK RABBIT I love Blue ears! BLUE RABBIT I love you Honey Bunny! And with that the two jump up onto the service counter, cards drawn. BLUE RABBIT ALLRIGHT EVERYONE BE COOL, I WANNA DOUBLE BURGER WITH EVERYTHING ON IT! PINK RABBIT AND IF ANY OF YOU DON'T GIMME A COKE, I'M GONNA EXECUTE EVERY LAST ONE OF YA! CUT TO: CREDIT SEQUENCE: FAN FICTION by Luke Deegan (DarkmaN) 2. INT. '74 CHEVY (MOVING) - MORNING 2. A white '74 chevy nova cruises down a street in Acme acres. Plucky drives while Hamton sits in the passenger seat guzziling a double weenie burger, with extra grease.Both are wearing cheap black suits with thin black ties. PLUCKY -- okay, so, tell me again about disney world. HAMTON Well, gee Plucky, whatcha wanna know? PLUCKY Well, anvils are illegal there, right? HAMTON Yeah, it's illegal, but they ain't hundred percent illegal. I mean you just can't walk into a restaurant, take one out, and start smackin' away. You're only supposed to hit friends for laughs or arch villians. PLUCKY THAT all? HAMTON Yeah, it breaks down like this: it's illegal to buy them, it's illegal to own one and, but if you're the proprietor of a blacksmith, it's legal to sell them. It's illegal to carry one, but that doesn't really matter 'cause -- get a load of this -- if the cops stop you, it's illegal for this to search you. Searching you is a right that the cops actually don't have. PLUCKY That did it, man -- I'm goin' that's all there is to it I'm goin as soon as I can! HAMTON But WHY? PLUCKY Cause whenever an anvil falls around here, it's on ME! HAMTON Yeah, I suppose so. But you know what the funniest thing about disney world is? PLUCKY What? HAMTON The amount of food there! I mean you can walk into a movie theater over there and buy a popcorn, but not just any kinda popcorn, I'm talkin about a 40 gallon tub PLUCKY Huh huh, cool! HAMTON Also, you know what they call a triple weenie burger with Cheese in disney? PLUCKY They don't call it a triple weenie burger with Cheese? HAMTON No, Weenie Burger is a Warner thing they wouldn't know what theh heck a weenie burger is. PLUCKY So what'd they call it? HAMTON A Mickey Burger with cheese. PLUCKY (repeating) A Mickey Burger with cheese. What'd theyccall a special morning weenie burger? HAMTON Strange, I went lookin' for one and when I found it, it was called suicide in a jug. PLUCKY What do they call a Weenie shake? HAMTON I dunno, I wasn't thursty.But you know what they put on french fries in disney instead of ketchup? PLUCKY What? HAMTON Tabasco. PLUCKY Ughhhhh! HAMTON I seen 'em do it. And I don't mean a little bit on the side of the plate, they drown 'em in it. PLUCKY Uuccch! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Copyright DarkmaN 1997 all rights reserved. "Just because your paranoid, don't mean there not after you" Written by DarkmaN (the_darkman@hotmail.com) Tiny Toon characters copyright 1993/94 Warner Bros. Used without permission.