Introduction: The prologue takes place one year before Acme Looniversity came 
into existance, and the setting isn’t Acme Acres – it takes place in a completely 
different location. Okay, now onto the actual story…

The Last Thing Expected
By Dark Helmet
darkhelmet47@hotmail.com


Prologue


      It was just before class was set to begin at Tooningwood heights school. As 
usual, the students were section off in their small social groups, completely 
detached from anybody out of their circle. The somewhat strange but highly 
popular group of girls sat by the lockers; the unpopular groups hid away in 
smaller corners, passages and alcoves, and the other popular group wandered the 
halls almost aimlessly looking for something to pass the time.
      "Like watch it jerk!" a female voice shouted as one of the wandering students 
walked by and stepped on her webbed foot.
      "It's not my fault you and your group of airheads are taking up half the hall!" 
he answered. He then walked away as he glared back at the girl.
      "Shirley, it seems like every morning you and Danforth there find some stupid 
reason to fight or some junk," a friend standing near her commented.
      "I couldn't help it - he totally crushed my foot on purpose! This was his fault."
      "I guess but what about when you dumped that water on the floor so he would 
slip into the girl's washroom?" Before Shirley could answer, the bell rang. 
Suddenly hundreds of students were racing madly down the hall to reach class.
      Inside the classroom, Shirley and her group occupied the front row except for 
two seats at the end - one empty, and one, the one right next to Shirley, taken up 
by another student. Meanwhile, Danforth and his group sat as far back as they 
could get, and they took up an entire row.
      What was a very noisy classroom when the students first came in was 
immediately silenced as soon as the teacher stepped into the room.
      "Good morning class," a tall, bespectacled green rabbit said from the front of 
the room. "I trust you all had a good weekend. As I said before you left on Friday, 
we are going to be starting our history projects today. Now, due to some... 
unpleasantness last time I am going to let you choose your own groups. Is that 
alright? Excellent. Now then, everybody get a partner and get to work."
      "Hey Shirley!" Danforth shouted from the back. "Not to break your heart or 
anything, but I can't work with you on this."
      "Oh, and I really wanted to work with you loser," Shirley answered. The two 
continued arguing as around them all of the other students were pairing up. By the 
time Shirley and Danforth quit insulting one another, all of Shirley's friends had 
chosen other partners.
      "Hey!  Like come on guys!" Shirley pleaded to her friends. Nobody answered 
- they had all started to work already. "Totally great. Who am I supposed to work 
with now?" Shirley then starting peering around the room and noticed that the 
pudgy blue duck to her left remained alone. She sighed and then asked," do you 
have a partner yet or something?"
      "No. Why, do you need somebody to work with?"
      "Kinda..."
      "Alright Shirley. I'll work with you."
      "Great. So, like what's your name?"
      "I've sat next to you since September and you don't know?" he asked. Shirley 
shrugged. "It's Pollard." Pollard pushed his desk right up next to Shirley's and 
pulled out a textbook. Meanwhile, as these two had paired up, Danforth had 
started to work with the last remaining member of his group without a partner - a 
relatively tall, dark red cat in dark clothes. 
      "Did you see Shirley and her bunch of bimbos yesterday at lunch? What 
losers. I mean, who meditates during school?" Danforth could be heard 
commenting from the back of the room. He received the usual few chuckles and 
agreements from his buddies.
      "Ah! I totally wish I could just turn him into a bug er some junk!" Shirley 
exclaimed.
      "Who? That guy?" Pollard asked, looking in the direction of Danforth.
      " Sorry, I was talking to one of my friends," Shirley answered. "What did you 
say?"
      "Nothing..." Pollard turned his attention back to the book and began to write.

      As school ended that day and the students began to walk home, Shirley was 
pulled away from her group for a second when she felt a tap on her shoulder. It 
was Pollard.
      "Like, what is it?" she asked.
      " I just wanted to know when you think we should get together to work on the 
project?"
      "Whenever."
      "Okay, then I'll come by sometime to work on it."
      "Alright. My address is..."
      "Shirley, I have lived across the street from you since I moved into 
Tooningwood Heights ten years ago. I know where you live."
      "Never noticed. Anyway, I'll see ya later." Shirley then ran to catch up with 
her friends.
      "I must be invisible or something..."

      As most students walked right home, Shirley and her friend headed for 
Tooningwood Park. There, huddled under a tree, each girl closed their eyes, 
crossed their legs, and repeated over and over, "oh what a <insert species here> I 
am..." After doing this for several minutes, they all stopped.
      "I heard with enough practice you can float in the air when you meditate," one 
girl remarked.
      "That's totally off. There is now way you can do that," Shirley replied.
      As the two argued back and forth, Danforth and his associates, each one with 
a cigarette in their mouth and coughing loudly, stood on the other side of the park.
      "What could possibly look cooler than this?" one of them asked.
      "Smoking in a sports car," Danforth answered.
      "But Danforth, you're too young to drive and like your family could afford a 
sports car anyway. I mean, none of us are exactly rich here."
      "For right now anyway," Danforth added. " I still believe that one day I will 
be disgustingly rich, no matter what you guys think." His companions just looked 
on skeptically.
      "You've got the disgusting part down!" Shirley yelled. Danforth turned around 
to see the Loon and company carrying a very long hose. "Your voice always 
pollute the air - do you have to make it worse by smoking?"
      "Please, you airheads don't have the guts," Danforth mocked as he looked at 
the hose. Shirley reached her hand up and made a signal with her fingers. Her 
frightens all tightened their grip, amd a large stream of water started spraying over 
Danforth and his friends. After a few seconds of spraying, they dropped the hose. 
Shirley and company dusted their hands together and walked away, leaving the 
dripping group on the ground. Danforth slowly sat up and stared at them intently 
as they walked away.

      The following morning, Danforth's wandering clique just happened to pass 
through a small alcove in the upper part of the school. As they passed by, 
Danforth noticed a familiar face in the corner speaking with a couple of other 
toons he had never seen before. It was Pollard.
      "Hey you!" Danforth shouted over at him. The whole group went silent and 
peered at the unwelcomed visitors. Pollard also remained silent with his head 
barely up high enough to see Danforth as he awaited what was going to be said 
next. "Tell that crazy girl you're doing your project with I'm going to get her for 
that little stunt yesterday." Danforth then motioned with his arm and his entire 
group left along with him.
      "Hey, what was that about?" one of Pollard's friends asked. Pollard just 
shrugged.
      "I don't know - but I think I would rather stay out of it."
      As the students entered the classroom that morning, Pollard said nothing to 
Shirley about what he had been told. At the back of the room, Danforth was 
quietly laughing to himself about something. As always, a noisy classroom was 
silenced by the teacher's entrance.
      "Good morning class. Now, before we get to our usual work, I have a special 
announcement. We have a new student. I'll let him introduce himself." The door 
slowly opened and in walked a short, round pig.
      "Um... hi..." he said quietly. He then turned to the teacher. "Um, what should I 
say?"
      "Start by telling them your name."
      "Oh right..." he then faced the class again. "I'm Hamton." A few class 
members greeted him, but most sat silent. Hamton slowly made his way over to 
the empty seat next to Pollard.
      "At least he makes you look thin Fowler," somebody in the back commented. 
Pollard ignored it; Hamton slouched down.
      "Pollard, Shirley," the teacher said. "Hamton will need a group to join for the 
project, and I think yours would be the best. After all, you're both A students."
      "No problem," Pollard answered. Shirley said nothing - she was too busy 
talking with some of her friends. Hamton pulled out his textbook and Pollard 
began explaining what exactly they had to do to him. As he was telling him about 
the project, Pollard threw in a few things about the other students.
      "By the way, just to let you know," Pollard started," there are a couple of 
people that probably won't get along with you. Those guys at the back to start 
with. Danforth and his friends aren't the nicest students on Earth to say the least. 
The people next to us are harmless - Shirley's friends don't give anybody any 
problems. Out of them, only Shirley argues with anybody, and even then only 
Danforth. That's pretty much all I can think of right now - and please, don't repeat 
any of this. I really don't want to start anything..."
      "Oh... alright," Hamton answered, feeling a little overwhelmed and confused 
by the whole thing.

      Lunchtime rolled around and still Danforth had done nothing. Pollard was 
starting to wonder if he should have warned Shirley or not - he didn't want 
anything to happen to her, but he didn't want to be involved either. The time for 
him to decide would run out rather quickly.
      Shirley sat down at her group's table with her daily bowl of soup. Just before 
taking the first spoonful, she thought she noticed something moving. Shirley 
looked closer and saw a couple of small spiders moving around in there. Shirley 
screamed as she leapt to her feet. She then looked over and saw Danforth and his 
friends laughing hysterically. Without realizing Pollard was about to stand up 
directly in the path, Shirley picked up the bowl and tossed it towards Danforth. It 
splattered all over Pollard's face. He looked over and saw Shirley trying to hide 
her face, but Pollard was well aware of who threw it. He picked up his soup bowl 
and faced Shirley. He drew his arm back, quickly turned around and threw his 
food at Danforth. Pollard's friends as well as Shirley were stunned. Within 
seconds the whole cafeteria had erupted into a giant food fight. As this went on, 
Pollard nervously ducked under his seat as he felt tightness in the pit of his 
stomach and his heartbeat began to race, and he wondered what he had just done.

      "Now Pollard, you've really surprised me," the principal stated as he sat down 
and spoke with the blue duck in his office. "Why did you start that food fight? 
You've never done anything like that before."
      "I don't know... it was just a sudden reaction and... Well, I'm really sorry..."
      "Alright, since you've never been in trouble before I can let it go. Just don't 
make it a habit." Pollard nodded in agreement and walked out. Seconds after 
stepping into the hall a dark red cat walked up to him and stood directly in his 
path.
      "Hey loser. You might remember me from class. I'm Cone, one of Danforth's 
friends. Your little stunt at lunch was not a good move. Clearly you're on that 
Loon's side, and that right there is a good enough reason to make the rest of this 
year suck for you. You've now got more problems than just being unpopular," 
Cone told him. "See ya around." Cone then pushed Pollard down as he walked 
past him. Pollard began to shake nervously.

      Pollard was several minutes late returning to class. Cone and Danforth looked 
at him with cold gazes as he entered. As he sat down, Shirley gave him a little 
smile.
      "Like thanks," she whispered to him.
      "Yeah..."
      "Can I just like ask you something? Why did you do that? I've seen Danforth 
pick on you before and you never did anything."
      "Because his stupid tricks are really getting on my nerves... but, I kinda wish I 
wouldn't have done that. Now I don't know what they might do to get back at me."
      "Relax. He can't really do anything." Pollard nodded and forced a little smile, 
even though in his mind he was more nervous than ever. He wanted some way to 
get noticed by somebody, but this was not the way he had always pictured doing 
it.

      School ended and as everybody walked out in the usual way, Shirley stopped 
her group for a second as she saw Pollard walk by. He ran up and pulled him over 
to her friends by his arm.
      "Yeah Shirley?" he asked, confused.
      "I just wanted the girls here to meet the guy who finally did something to that 
loser Danforth." Shirley's friends greeted him like they knew him, even though 
this was the first time they had ever spoken to him. Pollard nervously returned the 
greeting.
      "If you guys ever did anything on your own to make Danforth totally stop 
acting like he does then we wouldn't have this problem," Shirley said to her group 
of friends.
      "Shirley, that might mess with our karma. Besides, we don't really care that 
much."
They all then turned back to Pollard said how great it was to see somebody else 
stand up to him and most said they couldn't have done what he did. Comments 
like that expanded the nervous feeling in Pollard's stomach into a burning pain. 
After a few minutes of pleasantries, Shirley's friends took off. He dashed home as 
quickly as possible hoping to avoid Danforth and his friends.
 
      That night passed without incident, except for a little insomnia on the part of 
Pollard. The same could not be said for the following morning. As he walked 
down the hall, Pollard felt a shove on his back. He turned around and saw Cone 
standing there.
      "Guess who!" Cone shouted. Pollard started to back up quickly, but Cone was 
catching up to him again. The cat drew his claws out, and was preparing to strike. 
Pollard almost passed out from fear. He was shaking violently and he ducked his 
head, preparing for impact. Just before Cone swung his paws, a mysterious spray 
of gas knocked him down. Pollard looked up and saw Shirley standing there with 
a fire extinguisher in her hands. Shirley then took off down the hall with the 
extinguisher in her hands. Pollard got away from Cone as fast as he could.
      "Danforth!" Shirley yelled as she spotted him. Her face was now bright red 
and there was a little steam coming out of her ears. He turned around just in time 
to be sprayed back into a locker with the extinguisher. She pinned him to it with 
her arm. "Like what do you think you're doing sending your loser friends to beat 
up Pollard?"
      "Seriously, I had nothing to do with that. I don't even know what you're 
talking about. If I thought that geek was even worth doing something to don't you 
think I would do it myself? If a friend of mine took matters into his own hands 
fine but..." and then the bell rang. Shirley slowly backed away while Danforth 
took a second to catch his breath before heading for class.

      "Hey Dan! Guess what happened this morning," Cone exclaimed as Danforth 
sat down next to him.
      "Whatever you do, don't tell me. It's working, it's bothering Shirley, and I'm 
all for that, but the less I know the better."
      "Are you alright?" Hamton asked Pollard as he sat down.
      "I don't know."
      "Well... I know something about this... there were jerks like that at my last 
school."
      "This isn't normal, though - this is some weird rivalry between Shirley and 
him that I've just stupidly stuck myself in. I really don't think you had anything 
like that before." Just then, Shirley sat down.
      "My karma is totally off," she stated to one of her friends.
      "Are the stars out of whack er some junk?"
      "No. It's way loss cosmic than that. This school is starting to stress me out to 
the max."
      "Sorry to ask," Pollard interrupted, "but what are talking about?" Shirley's 
friends all sighed.
      "Karma. Psychic channels. Cosmic energy." Pollard just sat there with a 
puzzled look on his face. "Come by the back field at lunch and I'll show you what 
I mean."
      "Sure, alright," Pollard answered. He smiled a little, but this time it wasn't 
forced. For whatever reason he was now very excited about the prospect of going 
to hang out with Shirley and her friends at lunch, even if he didn't understand 
what they were going to be doing. The rest of the morning seemed to take forever.

      Lunchtime came and Pollard ran through the halls towards the back exit as 
quickly as he could. Before reaching the doors, he heard a voice shout his name. 
His body seized up. His heart began to pound. He slowly turned to face whoever 
it was, and to his great relief it was Hamton, not Danforth or Cone.
      "What is it Hamton?"
      "I just wanted to know when we were all going to work on the project after 
school."
      "Shirley and I were thinking tomorrow night. Hope that works for you. 
Anyway, I have to go. See ya." Pollard then ran outside without waiting for 
Hamton to say anything else. Out there, he saw Shirley and her group with eyes 
closed and meditating under a tree. Pollard took a seat next to Shirley. After a few 
seconds, the group was released from the trance.
      "Hey Pollard. Mondo good timing - we're just about to try and channel our 
auras," Shirley explained. Pollard shrugged his shoulders. "Wanna join in?"
      "I guess I could give it a shot... of course it would help if I knew what an aura 
is..."
      Shirley helped Pollard get the positioning right. He then closed his eyes, 
connecting his hand to Shirley's and focusing as best he could. After a few 
minutes, the two began to both feel something very strange - like an energy 
pulsing through them. They opened their eyes and saw green images of 
themselves standing there.
      "It worked!" Shirley shouted with glee. "It's never worked before! This is 
totally fantastic!"
      "I'm not sure I even get this," Pollard remarked as he looked at this version of 
himself. "Shirley, how did this happen?"
      "Good karma. It's like when your cosmic energy is totally balanced." The 
auras disappeared in seconds, but neither one could easily shake the images of 
what they had just seen. Shirley remained ecstatic about it for the rest of the day 
while Pollard was still confused.
      "So now the airheads are taking him in? What about his geek friends?" Cone, 
who had watched the whole thing from a nearby bush, asked himself.
      "Cone! What are you doing?" Cone heard Danforth's voice ask. He turned 
around and saw him standing behind him.
      "Watching. Can you believe this kid?"
      "Who? Shirley? I hate to brake it to you, but this isn't exactly new for her."
      "No. Pollard. I can't stand that kid. Now he's trying to hang out with the 
airheads."
      "Calm down. If you get anymore against him you'll have a rivalry like mine 
on your hands, and I don't think you're ready for it. The only difference would be 
yours would have no good reason."
      "Oh? And what's your reason?"
      "None of your business. Now, come see me when you're not hiding in a bush." 
Danforth then took off and Cone continued to stay in his little spot in the bush 
watching everything that happened.

      That afternoon, Pollard walked into his house with the unpleasant sound of his 
parents arguing. He could never make out what these fights were about - they just 
sounded like one jumbled mess of unpleasant sounds. They had only occurred 
recently, and there had been no explanation. Pollard just ran upstairs, threw his 
books in his room and headed for the door again. As he turned the knob, his father 
stopped him.
      "Pollard, son, can I talk to you for a minute?"
      "Yeah dad?"
      His father tried to say something, but before the words came out he stopped 
himself. "You know what? Never mind. I'll talk to you about it later. You just 
have fun working on your project over at the McLoon's house, okay?" Pollard, 
finding this a little strange but doing his best not to think about it now, nodded 
and ran across the street.
      Pollard rang the doorbell at Shirley's place. In what seemed like the eternity 
before the door was answered, a million thoughts filled his mind - how much fun 
he had with Shirley that day and even over the past little while working with her. 
But, of course, he didn't know what to make of it. The question filling his mind 
was if Shirley was actually a friend of his or not. To most people, he figured, this 
would be a minor question, but to him it meant a great deal.
      Finally, Shirley opened the door for him. Pollard stepped in and took the view 
of her house. It had many decorations that he couldn't even identify, but 
nevertheless they were quite pleasant to look at. There was a crystal ball in the 
living room where most people would have a television. There were long strings 
of beads hanging over the window.  "Nice place Shirley."
      "Like thanks for sure. Some people think it's totally weird."
      Pollard sat down and cracked opened the book. Shirley sat down closely next 
to him and read over his arm. This was what he had hoped for - some time with 
her without anybody else there to figure out exactly what was going on. Shirley 
looked at him warmly, but right before she said anything, the doorbell rang. 
Shirley got up and answered it. Hamton walked in.
      "I saw you were going over here with your books so I figured we were going 
to work on the project," Hamton explained. "You might not have noticed, but I 
live just down the street from you, too, so if you guys want to come over or 
something like that feel free to."
      With the opportunity lost, the three simply got down to work and were able to 
complete a great deal of the project, which was good because this was their last 
chance before their attention would be seriously divided and taken away from 
school work.

      The next morning the school was a strange sight that was unlike anything the 
students had ever seen before. On every locker, wall, and flooding the floors in 
the hall were bright flyers. The noise in the hall was deafening with all the 
conversations about what they said. Pollard picked one up immediately as he 
arrived at school, and after reading it, he ran to where Shirley was.
      "Have you read this?!" he asked her.
      "Duh. They're everywhere Pollard."
      "I don't get it. What is this talking about?"
      "It means just what it says - in two weeks we all have to go to this place and 
audition for whatever this show they're talking about. I asked a teacher and we 
have to do it because it has something to do with our credit - preparation and 
presentation skills er some junk. I don't the flyers, but maybe they just don't want 
any excuses."
      "Bizarre... why wouldn't they have mentioned this before?"
      "So they could see how fast we could get ready and do a good job. Duh."
      "I guess. Do you figure they just made this show up, or is Tiny Toon 
Adventures going to be a real show?"
      "I doubt it, Pollard. Why would they want any of us on TV?"
     
      Down the hall, Danforth's group was too occupied making small paper 
airplanes out of the ads to care about what they were actually saying. Danforth 
aimed for Shirley, Cone aimed for Pollard, and the rest just thew them off in 
random directions. A couple hit their targets; one hit a teacher. As soon as this 
happened, they stopped immediately and hid the ones they had behind their backs.

      The whole day was filled with talk about this. The teachers all repeated the 
story that Shirley had been told about the skills this was testing, but none said 
why it had come out of nowhere. The students wasted little time getting ready - 
many prepared their acting and singing skills already. At lunch these students 
were reciting Shakespeare and singing show tunes. This was transforming what 
had been a normal school. With only a few weeks of school left this was going to 
be one of the last chances for marks, so students seemed to be taking it seriously. 
Even during classes where tests were administered the students were working on 
acting skills, even though most had never acted before.

      After school, with one of those flyers in hand to help explain what had 
happened, Pollard ran home as fast as he could. When he arrived his excitement 
was replaced by confusion and shock - there, on the lawn, sat several boxes that 
were labeled and taped up. Pollard ran inside and discovered his parents placing 
their belongings in boxes and taping them up. His parents looked up at him with 
very sad expressions on their faces.
      "Mom? Dad? What's going on?" Pollard asked in a weak voice.
      "It was just so hard to explain to you..." his father stuttered. "Son, we lost all 
our money... we can't afford to stay here anymore." Pollard's jaw hit the ground 
and his eyes filled with water.
      "But where are we going to go?" he managed to ask.
      "Don't worry, Pollard," his mother said. "When the McLoon's heard what was 
happening, they invited us to go and stay with them for as long as we need to." 
Pollard could hardly believe what he was hearing. He had gone from, in a short 
period of time, from thinking his home life was secure and barely knowing 
Shirley to losing his house and moving in with her.
      "This doesn't make any sense!" He cried out. "Why didn't you two warn me 
about this? I think I could've taken it, and at least you wouldn't be springing it one 
me!"
      "Pollard, son, we know how you are. I'm not sure you would have taken it 
well if you had to think about it for so long. You have always been so worried that 
I don't think it would have been good for you. You probably would have an ulcer 
by now or something," his father said. Pollard stared on in amazement at what 
was happening before running out of the back of the house and into the backyard.
      After an hour of sitting alone and silently thinking and trying to stop himself 
from screaming, he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to see Shirley 
standing behind him.
      "Like, I really don't know what to say right now," Shirley said sincerely.
      "You really don't have to say anything. It probably wouldn't help right now. 
As soon as I stand up I can never come back." Shirley sat down and put her arm 
on his shoulder. "They never even told me we were having any problems - they 
said it would worry me too much. It doesn't make any sense..."
      "Well... it's kinda cool that we'll be hanging out all the time," Shirley said, 
trying to cheer him up. Pollard forced a tiny little smile. "I've got an idea - we can 
find out right now if you'll be totally okay er some junk. Gimme your hand." 
Pollard hesitated for a second but eventually moved a little back from Shirley and 
extended his hand. Shirley turned it over to the palm and started looking deep into 
it. "Ow wow... cosmic..."
      "What is it Shirley?"
      "I haven't been reading palms that long, but this says you'll be more than 
fine... you'll have everything you need, and have a pretty unbelievable future. It 
won't even take that long. It sounds mondo cool."
      "You're just saying that to feel better, but thanks."
      "That's what you think..." Shirley thought to herself. Shirley gave the blue 
duck a hug and told him," I'll see you at my place when you're ready to go." She 
then left while Pollard stayed and returned to thinking.
 
      Several hours later Pollard walked into the McLoon residence. Shirley ran up 
and greeted him.
      "Shirley, like why don't you give him a tour?" Mrs. McLoon suggested. 
Shirley nodded, grabbed Pollard by the arm and started to take him around the 
house. The two-story house was nicer than Pollard's, but at the same time he 
couldn't shake the feeling that he didn't belong there. It was so different than what 
he had ever been exposed to he knew it would take a lot of adjusting to. The last 
stop on the tour happened when Shirley pulled him up to the door to her room.
      "Pollard, I totally don't like anybody going in there. Even my parents aren't 
allowed in there - it's my sanctuary. It's where I meditate and check out my past 
lives and things like that. I hope you're not mad that I can't show it to you."
      "Don't worry Shirley - I'm too grateful to your family to be mad about 
anything. I mean, without you guys where would we be? I don't know how to 
thank you and your family."
      "Pollard, we totally believe in karma. By giving you and your family a place 
to stay, there is no better karma. You don't have to pretend to be happy for us - we 
can tell that you're still upset."
      "Is it that obvious?"
      "Well, we are all mind readers, Pollard. Well, I'm still working on it, but you 
know what I mean."
      "Yeah... well, anyway, I'm kinda tired, Shirley. It has been the strangest day of 
my life, and I would assume end it before anything else insane happens. Can you 
show me where I'll be sleeping?" Shirley dragged him down into the basement 
where sheets and a pillow were placed on an old couch. All of his belongings, 
although still in boxes, were down there. He turned down the lights and tried to 
block everything out of his mind so he could get to sleep - it didn't work, and he 
just laid awake in the dark all night long.

      The next morning, a very tired Pollard stumbled upstairs only to find that the 
McLoons were all huddled around the table meditating. Pollard started making his 
own coffee, and as it brewed he just stared at what they were doing. He had never 
seen anybody do this before Shirley, and now he saw an entire family 
participating. Just as his coffee finished, Shirley and her family came out of it, 
each with relaxed smiles on their faces.
      "Did you sleep alright Pollard?" Shirley's mother asked.
      "Fine."
      "Oh, come on. Don't lie to me. Try and get some sleep when you two get 
home from school, alright?" Pollard nodded his head, grabbed his books and ran 
out the door, right behind Shirley.
      The two walked into the school together, but as soon as they were past the 
door Pollard started to walk in the opposite direction before Shirley grabbed him 
by the arm and pulled him back.
      "Where are you going?" Shirley asked him.
      "I'm going off to see my friends. I thought you would be, too."
      "Pollard, if we're going to be living in the same house we should probably get 
used to being around each other most of the time," Shirley pointed out.
      "You're probably right. Can we just stop by my strange little alcove? I have to 
talk to my friends for at least a few minutes about this."
      "Sure."
      As Shirley and Pollard walked off down the hall, they didn't notice that Cone 
had been standing by them the entire time. "Living together? Well, these two just 
get stranger by the minute. Wait until everybody hears this."

      As Pollard and Shirley walked into class, everybody in the room, including 
the teacher was staring at them. The strange glances continued as they sat down, 
and even a few comments could be heard coming from around the room. Both of 
them were starting to feel a little uneasy about the room.
      "Hey you two! Why don't you get a room? Oh wait - I bet you have on back at 
her house!" one student shouted from the back.
      "What is that supposed to mean?" Shirley asked. The toon didn't answer.
      "I didn't even think you two were going out, and you're already living 
together?"
      "Aren't you two a little young?"
      The comments just didn't stop. Even the teacher chimed in with some 
comment about changing bodies and feelings. It was becoming unbearable. 
Pollard looked over and saw Shirley ducking her head on her desk.
      "Let me clear this up," Pollard volunteered.
      "Pollard, these people don't have to know what's happened to your family," 
Shirley answered. "I'm sure this will all stop soon." Pollard didn't have to be 
psychic to tell that Shirley didn't really believe that. After a few more comments 
were thrown their way, Shirley got up and stood on her desk.
      "Like shut up already!" she shouted. The whole class went quiet. "We live in 
the same house because... because..." and she couldn't think of a way to finish that 
sentence.
      "Because I have to live there. My parents and I have nowhere else to go," 
Pollard admitted. The whole class was quiet and hid their faces. The teacher's face 
was red with embarrassment. "I bet you all think this is funny." Pollard then sat 
back down while Shirley remained standing, staring down everybody. The rest of 
the morning was mostly silent and awkward.

      Lunchtime came and Pollard sat at Shirley's table. Her friends made some 
conversation with him, although he didn't really know what to say to them, and 
vice versa. He was getting very used to being around Shirley constantly, even if 
he had only been doing it for a day. By the time they got home, it was like they 
had been friends for years.
      "Shirley, Pollard, how are you?" Mrs. McLoon asked as they walked in.
      "I'm alright," Pollard answered.
      "Same here. Pollard here was just telling me the funniest story," Shirley said.
      "I would share it with you," he started," but I really want to get some sleep. I 
hope I don't fall down the stairs on the way to the basement." Shirley's mother 
smiled a little, thinking he was joking, but Shirley followed him there just in case.

      "Pollard. Pollard." Pollard slowly opened his eyes to see Shirley sitting right 
above him. "Are you hungry or anything?"
      "A little bit."
      "Okay. Well, the food's waiting upstairs."
      Pollard slowly sat up and rubbed his eyes. "Thanks. You know, you're really 
helping me to get used to this place. Whenever I fell asleep in the afternoon my 
parents would always wake me up to eat, but of course I'd usually just fall asleep 
again when I was finished. I guess they're still out, huh?"
      "Yeah. Both of them drove off with my Dad - he's helping them look for a 
job."
      "Well, I hope they can find one soon. Not that I won't have fun here. It's 
just..."
      "You don't have to explain." Pollard stood up slowly and the two walked up to 
have dinner together. Waiting on the table was tofu sandwiches and tomato soup - 
Pollard, although a little nervous about eating this, forced himself to just start in 
on it. To his pleasant surprise, the tofu wasn't bad at all.
      "Pollard," Mrs. McLoon started, "since tomorrow is Friday I think I could 
work taking you and Shirley to the mall without any problems, if that's alright 
with you."
      "Sure, okay. It's just I haven't been given an allowance or anything in weeks 
and..."
      "Don't worry about it. If you want to get something, just ask me. Price isn't a 
problem. Now Shirley, this isn't a problem for your schedule is it?"
      "No, not at all."
 
     "What do you mean you're not coming to the part tomorrow night?" a friend 
asked Shirley on the other end of the phone. "It's only like the biggest part of the 
year."
      "Well, Pollard wasn't invited and he kinda needs some help right now," 
Shirley explained.
      "Yeah, I guess I can see how you would feel sorry for him. Alright, don't 
come. I'll cover for you - you came down with the chicken pox. Just try and look 
itchy tomorrow or something so they don't know I'm lying."
      "Sure. Whatever."
      "Alright. I'll see you tomorrow at school. Just don't forget we need to get 
ready for the audition next Saturday - after all, it's worth a lot to our final grades."
      "Trust me I remember. Anyway, I'll talk to you later." Shirley then put the 
phone down. She was having a hard time believing she had just turned down a 
party she had been looking forward to for two months to go to the mall with her 
mother and a guy she just knew from school. Things were definitely changing 
there, and Shirley couldn't help but wonder just how much more was still to come.

      Friday night was more fun than either one had anticipated. Pollard was almost 
having fun for the first time since he had moved in, and he was at least able to 
forget what had happened in recent days. Shirley was able to push the party 
completely out of her mind as well. The two ate and shopped together for several 
hours, and the night ended with the two at a movie - a horror movie, where 
Pollard prepared to hide Shirley's eyes at the scariest moments, but it ended up 
working the other way around. They finally arrived home at ten-thirty that night.
      "Thanks, that was fun," Pollard said as they walked in the door.
      "Yeah, it totally was. Thanks mom." She then turned to Pollard. "Tomorrow I 
might not be here when you get up. Me and some friends are getting together to 
rehearse for that silly audition. Have you rehearsed yet?"
      "Actually, I'm getting together with some people to do the same thing," he 
answered. Shirley suddenly didn't feel bad about having to ditch him to go 
rehearse with her friends.
      "Alright, cool. I guess I'll see you late tomorrow then." Pollard smiled and 
headed off to bed, and Shirley did likewise.

      "Like guys, this is totally weird. What do you need to come up with these 
characters for?" Shirley asked.
      "You need a good character to audition as. Duh. You can't just go as yourself. 
If this were a real show you wouldn't get the part if you just acted like you. You're 
too normal." Shirley laughed a little at that last comment and continued reading 
lines in her normal voice, acting just as she normally would, while her friends 
tried a variety of accents and characterizations.
      Pollard's friends were taking a different approach - most of them had decided 
to just wing it and see what happens. They weren't too excited about pretending to 
act, something they had never done before. Pollard wasn't practicing too much for 
his audition, either - he thought he could do just fine with the skill he already had.

      "So how did your rehearsing go?" Pollard asked Shirley as she walked in the 
door.
      "It was alright. They took it a little to far, though - I think all of that junk they 
were trying to do to sound better is really going to mess with them when they try 
and perform."
      "Well, my friends really didn't care all that much. They said that they weren't 
interested anyway, and they would only do this because they had to. I guess I'm 
the only one out of us excited about this. You know, if we want to get in a few 
good rehearsals before its time, we could always practice together." Shirley 
nodded in agreement with the idea, and then she walked upstairs and went to 
sleep.

      "Pollard! Wake up Pollard!" Pollard slowly woke up, first glancing at the 
clock before checking on who just forced him awake. It was 6 AM. He looked 
over to the left a little and saw Shirley standing over him. "Like come on. We 
have to get there early or we'll be there all day. Pollard slowly dragged himself off 
the couch in the basement, and prepared to leave as fast as he could. Shirley was 
already set to go. Fifteen minutes later Pollard emerged from the basement, but 
before he could get anything to eat or do anything else, Shirley grabbed him by 
the arm and pulled him all the way to the car.
      The two filled the long drive with long talks about what it would be like if this 
were an audition for an actual TV show. Shirley said that if she became a star, she 
wouldn't want to change a thing. Pollard, on the other hand, said that he would 
have to change some things if he were to be on television - after all, what kind of 
a show has a character like him?
      Finally, they arrived. The line was exceptionally long. There were hundreds if 
not thousands of other toons - obviously, this involved more than just their school. 
To their great surprise, the next person in line in front of them was Hamton. 
Shirley poked him on the shoulder for several seconds trying to get his attention 
before he actually responded.
      "Hey! Stop tha... oh, hi you guys. I thought I would get here early and get it 
out of the way. Any idea where all these other students came from?" Shirley and 
Pollard both nodded no. "Hm. Well, I hope they can move the line quickly."
      The line wasn't too quick moving - two hours later, Hamton was at the front of 
the line. Two hours of silence and small talk had made getting up to audition more 
of a relief than anything else. Pollard and Shirley couldn't hear or see Hamton's 
audition, but the pig was smiling when he finally walked back by them again.
      "I'm guessing it went well," Pollard stated.
      "I got a part on the show," Hamton answered.
      "Huh?" Pollard and Shirley said simultaneously.
      "Tiny Toons. It's a real show. That's why all these people are here," Hamton 
explained. Shirley barely had time to pick her jaw up from the floor before she 
was called up to audition. Pollard's head was spinning and his mind was racing, 
and he only snapped out of trying to figure out what he had just been told when he 
was called up. Without knowing if Shirley's had turned out well or not, he was 
pulled up to the table where a blue and a pink rabbit were sitting.
      "Name please," the blue rabbit asked.
      "Pollard. Pollard Fowler."
      The two alternated asking him questions and had him read a short monologue. 
After he finished that, he was asked to sit down again.
      "Well?" Pollard asked. The two rabbits froze for a few seconds and exchanged 
glances.
      "Can you excuse me for a second?" the blue rabbit asked. He then disappeared 
for over a minute before he returned. "Sorry. We already have a character like 
you." Pollard didn't say another word - instead, he just started walking around 
looking for Shirley.
      "Pollard! Over here!" he heard her voice shout. He looked over and saw an 
elated loon running towards him. "I got in!" She declared.
      "Congratulations, Shirley," Pollard said in a disheartened voice.
      "You didn't, did you?" she asked. Pollard nodded no. "That's alright. I'm sure 
you can come with us."
      "Come? Where?"
      "To be in this you have to move to some strange place called Acme Acres. I 
just have to go home and get my stuff er some junk.
      "How do you know your parents will say yes to this?"
      "I'm psychic. Duh."
      On the ride home, Shirley explained everything to her parents. They would be 
given a house, jobs, and everything else. Just as Shirley had predicted, they had 
no objections, and as expected they invited the Fowlers to join them. They were 
going to have to leave very shortly, though. In two days, it was off to Acme 
Acres. All signs pointed to a smooth transition, until late that evening when the 
phone rang while the two families were eating dinner.
      "Hello?" Mrs. McLoon said. "Uh, sure. Just a second." She turned to Pollard's 
father. "It's for you."
      "Hello?" he asked as he picked up the phone. "What? And this is serious? You 
aren't joking? Well, I'll have to talk it over with him - call me back tomorrow. 
Thanks." He then put the phone down. "Pollard? Can I speak with you in the other 
room?" Pollard then ducked out for a few minutes and returned with a very 
confused look upon his face.
      "Shirley? Can you come talk to me in the basement for a minute?" he said. He 
then ran down into his room and the loon followed behind him.
      "Shirley... that phone call... I'm so confused!" he shouted.
      "What did they say?" she asked.
      "Somebody out there saw my audition today. They called up and offered me a 
role for a little while - they can't say how long it will take. But during that time 
they would give us a place to stay and everything, and maybe before it's done my 
parents could find jobs. It's a chance to get out lives going again. But, this would 
mean I can't go to Acme Acres with you." Shirley's face dropped.
      "You have to like, take it, don't you?" she asked.
      "It wouldn't be right if I didn't. A chance like this might not come along again. 
I have to take it, Shirley." The two both were apparently very upset now - they 
stared into each other's eyes for a few seconds before both reaching out and 
embracing each other.
      "I'm really going to miss you," they said simultaneously.
      "Shirley, I promise that somehow I'll get a hold of you. I don't know how 
since we don't know each other's addresses or anything, but trust me - I will. Just 
give me a little time, alright?" Shirley nodded. The two stayed with each other in 
silence for several more hours, before both fell asleep in the basement.

      Packing and making plans more than anything else took up the next two days, 
but Shirley and Pollard did manage to spend almost all their time together. The 
school had told both of them that their year was over after the auditions, and they 
would be sent their grades. This just left time for a long goodbye. Eating, walking 
and talking together took up a lot of this time. Finally, Tuesday night came. Both 
families prepared to leave for their new lives. Shirley and Pollard sat together on 
the edge of a short, grassy cliff nearby with their legs hanging over and the two 
looking deeply into each other's eyes.
      "Shirley..." Pollard started on his way to the door. "This is really hard... I don't 
know what to say to you..."
      "Pollard, we'll see each other again. Don't worry." Shirley didn't sound like 
she meant it. The two embraced each other one more time, this time with tears 
filling their eyes. Shirley kissed him on the cheek, and then she stood up. Shirley 
walked away slowly while Pollard sat alone for another few minutes. She stepped 
into one car that had been sent, and Pollard stepped into the other. Finally, he got 
up and walked back towards the McLoon's house for the last time. As he arrived 
there, he saw Shirley's car speeding away. He watched it for as long as he could 
see it, and when it had finally disappeared into the distance Pollard stepped into 
the back of his parents' car and they sped off into the night towards whatever was 
waiting for them.


Acme Acres - Three years later

Chapter 1

      It was still very early in the morning. There was just a faint orange light 
coming in through the windows at Acme Looniversity. It was six o'clock in the 
morning, and Buster and Babs were already roaming the hallways on this first day 
of school.
      "It's so nice right now," Buster commented as they turned a corner.
      "Yeah. Too bad in a couple of hours this place is going to be noisy and 
crowded, especially with all the new students trying to figure out where they're 
going and what's going on. At least they have us to help them figure it out."
      The school was decorated with signs welcoming everybody back and maps to 
direct all of the transfers and new students to where they're supposed to be. There 
were also walls of pictures with highlights from the previous season of Tiny Toon 
Adventures. Buster and Babs were right about the silence and how it would 
disappear very quickly - by seven thirty, the halls were completely filled and there 
was barely anywhere to stand.
      "Hey! Star coming through. Out of my way!" Plucky said as he pushed his 
way through the hall, knocking several other students over in the process. He 
eventually cleared a path to Shirley's locker where he walked up behind the Loon 
and put his arm over her shoulder.
      "Hey Shirl. I haven't talked to you in weeks - I don't even know how your 
summer was," Plucky said.
      "Fine Plucky," she answered. She then started to walk away.
      "Fine? That's it? You aren't going to tell me anything else?"
      "Later Plucky. Don't be so mondo pushy. I have to go see Fifi and Babs first." 
Shirley then walked off. The students actually moved out of the way for her so 
she didn't have to forcefully remove them. At the end of the hall she saw her two 
best friends standing up against Fifi's locker. She started running as soon as she 
spotted them and they all began to scream with joy.
      "It seems like I haven't seen you guys in forever!" Babs exclaimed.
      "Babs, we saw each other three days ago," Shirley answered.
      "It iz ze principal of ze thing, Shirley. Ze amazing three are back at Acme Loo 
for another year."
      "So are you two ready for another group of fan boys who start here and won't 
leave us alone for the first month?" Babs asked.
      "I'll totally never get used to it."
      "Me neizere. It iz so annoying, and I think it really bothers Hamtone."
      The three continued speaking for a few minutes longer before the sound of the 
bell chimed throughout the hallways.
      "Hit the deck!" Babs yelled as the bell went off. The three hit the floor while 
covering their heads just in time to not be knocked down by the stampede of 
students. When the large group had finished rumbling through the hallway the 
three finally pulled themselves up.
      "Oh great," Babs remarked as she looked up at the clock. "We're going to be 
late!"
      "Cuckoo! Cuckoo!" Gogo said as he emerged from the clock. "If you're late 
on the first day you're Cuckoo! Cuckoo!"
      "Like chill out Babs," Shirley said. She then closed her eyes and made a 
motion with her hands. Suddenly, the hands of all the clocks in the school began 
to move backwards. They stopped after going back five minutes. The three then 
ran to their classes.

      "Eh, good morning class," Bugs said over the PA speaker. "I hope ya had a 
good summer. All new students and transfers please report to da cafeteria for 
orientation. All students who were here least year, remember - just because they 
are new doesn't mean you can do anything to dem. Dat's all."

      The cafeteria soon filled with hundreds of students waiting to be told what 
they were supposed to be doing and what they could expect.  When they had all 
finally piled in, the doors were shut and Arnold walked up to the front of the 
group.
      "Welcome puny children," Arnold said. "I am Arnold, and I will be in charge 
of making sure nothing happens to you while you are here because you are puny 
little freshmen. If anybody tries something stupid, let me know and I will pound 
them into dust. Now, here are some wimpy looking bunnies to speak to you."
      "Wonderful way to start of your Acme Loo career, isn't it?" Buster asked 
rhetorically as he walked to the front of the cafeteria. "Welcome new toonsters to 
the happiest place on Ear..."
      "Uh, Buster?" Babs asked.
      "What is it Babs?"
      "Remember last year when you called it that? Those Disney lawyers didn't 
leave us alone for months."
      "Oh right. Sorry. Welcome to the wackiest school on Earth. I'm Buster Bunny, 
and this is Babs Bunny."
      "No relation."
      "We know!" shouted the entire group back at them loudly enough to push 
both bunnies into the wall.
      "I guess we don't have to ask if you've seen the show then, huh?" Buster asked 
as he pulled himself out of the wall. Over the course of the next hour, Buster and 
Babs went over every little part about the school, telling them where they have to 
go, what to do, and why they should never eat in the cafeteria. The students were 
almost asleep by the time Buster said, "that's everything. Any questions?" A few 
hands went up in the air.
      "How do you join the football team?" a squeaky voice asked.
      "Either with talent, hard work and determination, or think up a really wacky 
way to win a game," Buster answered. "Next?"
      "This place scares me. How do I transfer out of here?" The voice sounded 
familiar.
      "Hey Mary! Get out of this group - you're not new!" Mary Mellodie stood up 
and walked out. "One last question."
      "Where can I find Shirley the Loon?" a quiet, somewhat deep voice asked.
      "I'll answer that one," Babs said, pushing Buster out of the way. "You fan 
boys couldn't even wait until after orientation, could you? You know, some of us 
don't like you creepy new students following us around the halls!" Babs then 
stormed out of the cafeteria.
      "I guess that's all folks." The group stood up and it seemed everybody was 
trying push out the door at the same time, causing a massive student bottleneck. 
Nobody realized there was another door, which Buster slipped out of.
      Over an hour passed. It was now in the middle of a class. Babs was just 
walking out of her classroom to get something from her locker when she noticed a 
student peering in through the windows of classrooms at the end of the hall.
      "What are you doing?" she called down.
      "Looking for somebody."
      "I don't believe it - another fan boy looking for Shirley or Fifi. Why can't you 
just leave them alone already? I really don't think they want to see drooling fans 
like you anywhere near them." The student didn't reply - he simply walked away. 
Babs wasn't able to get a good look at him before he left she didn't really know 
who to watch out for.
      Lunchtime came around. All of the new students were huddled at the two 
tables in the back corner while everybody else took their usual seats from the year 
before.
      "Shirley, you wouldn't believe these pathetic guys looking for you," Babs said 
as she sat down.
      "I had ze same problem," Fifi added. "I got more marriage proposals this 
morning than I could count."
      "There was one guy who asked where to find you during orientation. Then, I 
saw him peeking in classrooms trying to find you."
      "Did you like get a good look at him?"
      "No. He was too far away." Just then, Buster walked up.
      "Hey Shirley. Some guy was standing near the library asking some people 
where he could find you."
      "Alright! That's it!" Shirley declared. "Where is he?" Buster stood up and 
walked with her to the doors of the library. Oddly enough, all the lights were 
turned off.
      "I think I can see him in there," Buster said as he strained to see inside. "Yeah, 
that's him. He's sitting at the back of that long row of books straight ahead." 
Shirley kicked the doors open and walked in.
      "Listen creepo! If I wasn't so centered you would be totally sorry!" she 
shouted as she started for the long row of books. "Why don't you come out and 
show me your face? " No answer. Shirley walked over to the wall and flipped on 
the lights before continuing for him. He was no longer standing at the end of the 
row - instead, Shirley could just see an arm. As she headed for the person, she 
didn't notice that Buster, Babs, Fifi, Plucky and Hamton had entered the library to 
see what was going on. Finally, with her heart pounding and her face bright red, 
Shirley turned the corner into a more open area where she saw the toon who was 
waiting for her. Shirley's eyes grew very wide as she saw the dark blue duck in a 
green shirt standing in front of her with a mile-wide smile on his face.
      "Pollard!!" she shouted as she saw him. She then ran right up to him and gave 
him the tightest hug she could possibly muster. He returned the embrace, his face 
now glowing.
      "Oh wow. Shirley, I can't believe it! I'm finally here and seeing you!" The two 
stared at each other in disbelief for several seconds before Buster walked up.
      "Um, I think I speak for all of us when I ask what's going on?" Buster asked. 
Pollard turned to the other toons and looked at them adoringly.
      "This is amazing!" He then pulled out a camera and took a picture of the 
group.
      "Well, it's nice to know you think that, but who are you?"
      "Like guys, this is Pollard Fowler, a friend of mine from..."
      "From before she was here," Pollard said, finishing off her sentence. "Hamton, 
it's nice to see you, too." Hamton just waived to him a little. "Look, I've been 
waiting forever to meet all of you, and I really want to, but right now I want to 
talk to Shirley. You don't know how hard it was to get here, and I really can't tell 
you how much I want to talk to her."
      "Shirley, you've got a lot of things to tell us later," Babs told her as the group 
started to leave the library.
      "Don't worry, I'll fill you in on everything." Finally, they were all gone. The 
two spent another few seconds looking the other one over to make sure that this 
was real.
      "How?! When?! Why?!" Shirley managed to force out.
      "Shirley, that's a longer story than I can really explain to you right now. This, 
though, should help with most of it," he explained as he handed her a videotape.
      "What's this?" she asked.
      "This is what I've been doing since we last saw each other. You wouldn't 
believe it if I told you, so just watch the tape. Now, trust me, I know what you've 
been doing."
      "You've been watching the show, then."
      "I love the show, Shirley. You don't get enough airtime. And, I'm sure I'll love 
watching it all happen while I'm here."
      "So how long are you going to be here?"
      "For most of the first semester - then, I have to go back." Just then, the bell 
rang. "We can talk later. Just watch the tape - everything else I say will make a lot 
more sense then." Shirley gave Pollard a peck on the cheek and then skipped off 
with the joy still obvious in her face. Pollard walked out more slowly, pinching 
himself along the way just to make sure that this wasn't a dream.

      Now in his first class after lunch, Pollard was completely ignoring what 
Professor Porky at the front of the room was saying. He was caught in a daydream 
about what he could do now that he had time to spend with Shirley. He was 
snapped out of it when he heard his name being called at the front of the room.
      "Pollard Fowler, go to the principal's office," Porky said.
      "Why? What did I do?"
      "Nothing. Principal Bugs is just trying to meet a few of the new students," 
Porky explained. Pollard shrugged and walked out of the classroom and into the 
principal's office, admiring the halls that he had seen on television so many times 
before. It still felt surreal. As he stepped into Bugs' office, his breath was almost 
taken away by the sight of the cartoon legend sitting before him.
      "Eh, Pollard?" Bugs asked. He nodded yes and sat down. "I've been reading 
over your file. It says here that you have been staring in a cartoon series broadcast 
in Canada called 'The Last Thing Expected.' That sounds pretty impressive, kid."
      "Thanks," Pollard answered.
      "Now dis I find strange. I've never seen da show, so maybe dis would make 
more sense if I did. Why does it say 'Prince' in front of your name here?"
      "I guess back home that would be my title. You see, in the show, I am actually 
Prince Pollard of, well actually I don't think our land even has a name - don't ask 
me how that happened, because I have no idea."
      "So, do you like live in a castle er something?"
      "No. Actually, we live in this really strange mansion - seeing the show would 
probably help this make more sense to you. The title is really just for effect. I can 
bring you a tape if you want."
      "Dat's okay," Bugs replied. "So you'll be leaving in December to start the new 
season of dat show, right?"
      "Yeah. I would love to stay longer, but with how much it took to get here, I'll 
take the time I can get." Bugs looked a little puzzled at that last remark, but said 
nothing. "Did you need to ask me anything else?"
      "No, dat's alright." Pollard shook Bugs' hand, stood up, and walked out. Bugs 
started looking over the file again.
      Pollard emerged from the office and started walking down the halls he had 
seen on television everyday. He was heading for class, but as he walked past the 
door labelled 'Calamity's Lab' he couldn't resist. Pollard pulled the door open a 
crach and peered inside. He saw Calamaity standing in the room in front of a large 
machine with a chamber on the front. Calamity placed a small ant farm inside and 
pressed a button. After a few seconds of lights flashing and the machine shaking 
Calamity pulled it out. He then pressed a few buttons on the device and a new, 
larger ant farm appeared in its place. Pollard could barely believe his eyes, and he 
was only pulled out of watching Calamity play with this amazing machine when 
the bell rang, signaling the impending start of the final class of the day.
      Pollard stepped back from the lab looked to his left and saw a large mass of 
students, most of which he had seen in the cafeteria that morning, charging down 
the hall as if they were about to be late for their next class. Pollard, not wanting to 
get trampled, jumped into a garbage can right next to him until the stampede had 
passed. As he ducked down, Pollard had a chance to pull out his schedule and see 
that his final class was Daffy's - a teacher he had been looking forward to having 
a class with since he knew he was coming to Acme Loo. Finally, he poked his out 
and saw the coast was clear. He crept out and ran to his next class.
      As he stepped in, just seconds before the bell was going to ring, he surveyed 
who was in the class, as he had done in every other class. At the very back corner 
of the class, next to Fifi and Babs, he saw Shirley who had an open seat to her 
left. He started to head for the seat when some other student took it. Shirley 
pointed a finger at the other student, and he was suddenly zapped. Singed and 
embarrassed, the occupant left and Pollard sat down. The two exchanged another 
small embrace before turning to the front of the class.
      "Welcome back students," Daffy said. "I hope you all had a good summer. It 
had to be better than mine, but that's something I'm sure you'll hear about for the 
next two months. Just let me check the class last." As he started to read it over, 
Daffy's eyes bulged out when he came across something. The whole class noticed 
this. "It's nothing," he told them as if they would forget his strange reaction. Daffy 
threw down the list and peered out in the room, looking somewhat annoyed now.
      Daffy began to write on the board and talk about something, but Shirley and 
Pollard didn't pay any attention.
      "We're all gonna watch the tape after school er some junk," Shirley told him. 
"Well, the three of us. Oh, and before I forget, you've gotta like give me your 
address and phone number er some junk." Pollard, already having this written out, 
handed her a piece of paper. Shirley handed him one back. As both glanced them 
over they immediately turned back to the other.
      "We only live three doors away," they both pointed out at the same time.
      "What is so important you have in interrupt me?" Daffy asked from the front 
of the room. "Pollard, wait in the hall."
      "Like I was talking - he was just kinda listening," Shirley protested. "Kick me 
out."
      "I said Pollard, go in the hall." Before Shirley could argue once more, Pollard 
got up and walked out of the room with his head low. Shirley just stared at Daffy 
like he was crazy. The rest of the class passed, and Daffy never did go out in the 
hall to see him. Shirley found him still waiting next to the door when she walked 
out at the end of class.
      "That was totally mean," she said to Pollard as she grabbed him by the arm. 
"I've never seen Professor Daffy do that before."
      "Yeah, it was weird. I've seen every episode of the show and I don't remember 
him kicking anybody out. If it was Yosemite or Elmer then maybe, but..."
      "Look, just try not think about it. I'm sure you'll have a better time in there 
tomorrow. After all, you heard Daffy - he's just upset about something else." 
Pollard shrugged, and the two walked out of the school. They walked together out 
the front door where they saw Babs and Fifi leaning up against the Bugs statue. 
"I'll come over and see you after I watch the tape and do some other stuff," 
Shirley explained.
      "I really can't wait." Shirley smiled and then ran over to her friends. Pollard 
started to slowly walk home, uncharactaristically unbothered by what happened 
with Daffy. Instead, he still felt amazing after seeing Shirley. "Who knew that 
three years of waiting and it could feel even better than I thought to see her 
again."
      Pollard found himself taking in every last inch of Acme Acres on his walk 
home. He recognized a lot of it from seeing them on Tiny Toons. Buster's rabbit 
hole. Plucky's house on the swamp. Monty's mansion. The alley where Furrball 
spent most of his time. Pollard realized two things - these were even better in 
person, and he had just walked several miles out of his way and it would take him 
a while to get home by foot. This didn't worry him, either - he extended his arms 
and took off through the air. Unlike Plucky, he didn't have any problem with 
flying. He hurried home and waited for Shirley's arrival there.
 
Chapter 2
 
      "So how much are you going to tell us?" Babs asked as the three sat down in 
the food court at the Acme Acres mall, where they had headed right after school.
      "Such as?"
      "Like who he is, where you know him from..."
      "And if you are going to dump Plucky for heem," Fifi added.
      "Are you ready for a mondo long story?" Shirley asked.
      "Let me get some more food and then I will be," Babs answered. When she 
returned with a large tray of food, Shirley started to explain what was going on. 
She told them all about Tooningwood, Pollard, Danforth and Cone, and 
everything that had happened. Forty-five minutes later when the story was over, 
Babs and Fifi asked her a few questions.
      "So how come you never told us about this guy before? Or that you went to 
school with Hamton back then? Or about Danforth? These would've made good 
stories when we were all bored, you know."
      "And how much have you two told me about your old schools?" Shirley 
asked. The two went silent. "And to answer the other question, Plucky is my 
boyfriend. I don't want to dump him, and even if I did, they said they need us 
together for some of the shows this season, so I really couldn't." The other two 
shrugged and continued eating.

      Later that night, the amazing three were assembled at Shirley's place watching 
the tape that Pollard had given them. Just after it ended, Shirley turned to the 
other two.
      "That was strange," Babs responded. "Not really bad - just different." Fifi 
agreed with that description.
      "Are vous sure he isn't ze one you want? Look at his huge house. His money. 
His own show. The fact zat he isn't full of heemself."
      "Yes I'm sure, Fifi. I liked it - it was a lot different than most cartoons. I just 
wonder why they never put it on here."
      "Well, it seems like you've got a lot of stuff to ask him, you we'll let you go 
there now," Babs told her. "We'll just stay here until you get back. Mind if I get 
something out of your fridge?" Shirley just sighed and walked out, leaving her 
two friends sitting in her living room. After the thirty second walk to Pollard's 
place, she walked up on his porch and surveyed the house. It was nice, and a good 
size - nothing like what she had just seen on the show, but not bad. Finally, after 
checking the entire front out, she rang the bell. A few seconds later Pollard 
answered.
      "Shirley," he said as if he was surprised it was her.
      "So you're a prince, rich, have your own show, and Cone is the villain?"
      "Didn't I say it would be better to show you? Anyway, when I'm here, I'm an 
Acme Loo student whose main problem is Perfecto Prep just like the rest of you. 
Anyway, do you want to come in?"
      "Duh." Shirley walked in and sat down in the living room. "I've got a few 
more things I want to ask you."
      "I knew you would. After all, since you haven't seen me in three years that is 
kinda obvious. I just have two simple questions for you before you ask me 
anything - why did they make you change your last name? I like McLoon a lot 
better."
      "Because I guess somebody threatened to sue er some junk."
      "Strange. Second question - when did Danforth start talking in that ridiculous 
voice? He used to have a perfectly normal sounding voice, and now he sounds all 
stuffy and strange.
      "I have no idea."
      "Hmm. Okay, now you can ask me anything."
      "First, why didn't you ever write to me or call me? I'm sure you could have 
found out my address from Warner Bros. at least."
      "I wanted to - I was told I couldn't. About a thousand times I asked why I 
couldn't go to Acme Acres even for a little while, but they told me no. My 
parents, the show's producers. Everybody. They returned every letter I tried to 
send. They said something about needing to keep everything separate." Shirley 
raised an eyebrow at this response, realizing it sounded a little suspicious.
      "So like where are your parents?" Shirley asked, realizing that she hadn't seem 
them since walking in.
      "They're, uh, not here. They stayed back at home. But, don't worry about me - 
they sent with me with more than enough money to take care of myself, and there 
are some people around here I can call if I need anything. They even paid for this 
house."
      "How much did they pay to rent this for you?"
      "This isn't rented - they bought it. I don't know why, actually, if I'll only be 
here a few months."
      "Boy, things really have changed - you've gone from losing your house to 
having a few of them. You were right - the tape helped to explain a few things. 
Do you mind if I keep it?"
      "Go ahead," he answered. "But, just to let you know, I've only managed to get 
my hands on a tape of the pilot episode. Nobody has really explained where the 
copies of the others are, but I've been told they are out there somewhere."
      The two went on talking about everything for hours - Pollard told her about 
what life was like in the world of this other cartoon, about the indescribable 
landscape, about his house and about the startling changes his life had taken since 
leaving Tooningwood. He also talked about Cone, and how strange it was to have 
a constant nemesis. Shirley talked about what was different about Acme 
Looniversity compared to what was broadcast. Without realizing it, they had 
talked until one in the morning. When Shirley looked down at her watch and 
realized this, she suddenly looked very startled.
      "Pollard! Do you know what time it is?" He looked over at a clock.
      "Wow. When did it become one in the morning?"
      "Pollard, my parents are totally gonna freak er some junk."
      "Sorry. If I had realized what time it was..."
      "It'll be alright? Okay. Fine. Bye," Shirley forced out very quickly as she ran 
out the door in the direction of her house. Pollard meanwhile just fell backwards 
on the couch as fell asleep with the memories of the best day he had experienced 
in a very long time still running through his brain.

      The following morning was obviously a little less hectic. Shirley and Pollard 
were walking down the hall together, right past all of Shirley's usual friends. All 
of them seemed understanding, except Plucky who groaned as the two walked by.
      "Oh come on, Plucky. You can't be upset about this," Buster told him.
      "And why not? This guy just busts in here and tries to steal my girlfriend?"
      "Plucky, she's known him longer than she's known you. I'm sure after a few 
days things will get a little more normal, but for right now you're gonna have to 
just leave them alone." Plucky still didn't look too happy about this, but he said 
nothing else at that moment.
      Just as the two were about to turn a corner, Pollard stopped for a second and 
looked over a poster that caught his eye on the wall. "The Acme Bowl is already 
next week? The year just started."
      "I guess they just want some story about Perfecto against Acme to come up 
earlier this year."
      "Strange. Well, it should be a great game. I can't wait to go."
      "Hey, like maybe you could join the football term er something." The two 
both started laughing after that comment and continued walking.
      The day passed almost uneventfully, until the very last class of the day, when 
the assembled inside Daffy's class.
      "Alright class," Daffy spit out as the students sat down," I hope there won't be 
any problems like we had yesterday." Daffy then started to write something on the 
board, but occasionally he kept looking at the back corner of the room. Pollard 
didn't notice that Daffy kept staring at him, but Shirley did. Every time he would 
look back, the Loon would look right at him and his face would turn around. 
"Now everybody, for tomorrow I want a complete report on what happens when a 
toon is crushed by an anvil, including why it happens and how they recover from  
it. Any questions?" Shirley was tempted to ask him why he kept looking at that 
corner of the room, but she resisted.
 
      "I'm staying after to start decorating the stadium for the Acme Bowl," Shirley 
told Pollard as they walked out of the class. "Did you want to help?"
      "I would love to, but I've got some stuff to take care of."
      "Alright. I guess I'll see you later er some junk."

      It was early in the evening when the decorating committee called it a night. 
Shirley was walking back through the school to her locker to get some books she 
had left behind when she walked past Bugs' office and noticed the lights on, and 
voices coming from inside. She crept up next to the door and started listening.
      "Oh, thanks a lot Bugs. You just had to put him in my class, didn't you? You 
didn't think I would feel a little weird about that?"
      "Daffy, it was three years ago. I thought you would be over it by now. You 
made a choice and you stuck by dat. Who knows da difference?"
      "Oh sure. You can act all calm. You don't have to deal with this. One day 
when I'm Principal I'll make sure to do something like this to you." Daffy then 
stormed out of the office. Shirley flattened herself as much as she could against 
the lockers so that Daffy wouldn't see her when he opened the door. After he was 
out of sight, Shirley continued to her locker trying to figure out what she had just 
heard.

      "Good. Fine. Alright," Daffy commented on each paper as they were handed 
in the next day. When he was handed Pollard's, however, he handed it right back. 
"Not good enough. Why wouldn't you put some work into it?" Pollard just looked 
at him with a confused expression. All of the other papers that had been handed 
appeared to be shorter and less detailed than his. Still, he just said nothing and 
walked back over to his seat to try and do something to his. Shirley had just 
watched this exchange, and thought right away this had to be connected to what 
she had heard the previous night.
      "Um, Pollard. Does it seem strange at all that Daffy is being a total jerk to 
you?"
      "Yeah, but what can I do about it? I mean, he's a teacher and if he wants to 
single me out for no reason he can and I can't stop it." Shirley, not being very 
willing to accept that, approached Buster, Babs and Plucky about it the next 
morning.
      "Do any of you know why this would be going on?" she asked after filling 
them in on what was happening. Babs, despite being in the class, hadn't noticed. 
"I mean, Daffy didn't even know who he was until a couple of days ago." Buster 
and Babs nervously exchanged glances, but Shirley didn't notice. Instead, she was 
looking right at Plucky as if he was supposed to know something.
      "Hey! How should I know? Just because he's my mentor doesn't mean he tells 
me everything."
      "Yeah, and how would we know?" Buster added, followed by some nervous 
laughter. Babs elbowed him in the side as if to tell him to stop talking. Shirley 
gave them both a strange look before walking off.

Chapter 3

      Another week had passed with nothing new of consequence - Daffy's strange 
behavior continued, Pollard and Shirley continued spending a great deal of time 
together, and Plucky was just about past his limit for accepting the Shirley's old 
friend excuse for her hanging around him all the time. This lead us to the night 
that two schools had been waiting for since the dramatic Acme Loo victory the 
previous year - the Acme Bowl. The two sides had been preparing since the 
middle of the summer for the earlier game this year, and there was the usual 
assortment of attempted tricks and stealing of playbooks. Finally, it was game 
day.
      "Shirley, are you sure I'm allowed to stand on the sideline and watch the 
game?" Pollard asked as Shirley led him over behind the Acme players bench.
      "Relax Pollard. Nobody will like even notice you're here." As Pollard stopped 
and starting looking at the field, Shirley picked up her helmet and prepared to 
once again pull double duty as a player and cheerleader, just like the year before.
      "Wow, this is so exciting," Pollard commented as he watched the players start 
to head for the field. "I must've watched the tape of the last Acme bowl about a 
hundred times."
      Just then, the Perfecto players headed out of the lockeroom and ran to the 
sidelines. They were met by a chorus of boos. To help them ignore this, each 
player wore earplugs as they headed for the field.
      "Just ignore these losers," Roddy told his team as they reached the sidelines.
      "What'd you say? What about looters?" Danforth asked in reply. Roddy just 
grabbed him by the back of the jersey and pushed him in the direction of the field, 
as he did with every player that he wanted to start the game.
      The starting lineups for the teams took to the field where Gogo Dodo, the 
referee again for this year's game, was waiting.
      "Perfecto call it in the air," Gogo said. The dodo then jumped up into the air 
and turned himself into a coin.
      "Heads!" Roddy called. Gogo neared the ground and just before he was about 
to land heads-up, he stopped and turned himself over, giving Acme a win in the 
cointoss. Buster chose to receive, and the game was finally about to get underway.

      "And welcome to a great afternoon for football," Sylvester spit out. "Here we 
have the two biggest football rivals anybody around here knows about - Acme 
Loo and Perfecto Prep. These two teams have tried everything to get the jump on 
each other. I heard Acme Acres even sent Perfecto a plate of their cafeteria food - 
now that's a low down dirty trick!" Just like last year, the booth was already 
beginning to fill with saliva. After another few seconds it was finally time for the 
kickoff. The entire crowd cheered as the ball was booted into the waiting hands of 
Buster Bunny, but they went silent again when he was flattened after about three 
yards.
      The game went back and forth for the entire contest. On every good play 
Acme made, Pollard, who was wearing an Acme jersey on the sidelines, cheered 
and jumped on the sidelines. When Shirley scored a touchdown early in the 
second quarter, he had to resist the urge to run over to the field and congratulate 
her. When Perfecto made a good play, Pollard hid his face a little as if he had 
done something to cause it.
     Both teams had used almost every single player at their disposal. Between 
falling anvils, holes being created in the field, and players being chased off by the 
biggest memebers of the other team, both benches were very thin by the time the 
end of the game was drawing near. It reached a point where there was less than a 
minute left in the game and Acme was up 21 - 17. Perfecto had just received the 
ball following an Acme Loo touchdown. During the stoppage in play, Buster, 
seeing that Hamton could barely stand because he was so tired and covered in 
sweat, ran over to the sidelines to see who was left.
      "Let's see... even Sweetie has played a few downs," Buster remarked as he 
looked at the sidelines that were covered in tired players. Finally, he noticed that 
Pollard was wearing a uniform. As Hamton came over to the sidelines, Buster 
took his helmet and put it on Pollard's head.
      "Hey! Buster, I'm not on the team," Pollard said.
      "Yeah, but we need somebody else to get out there for two plays at the most. 
Don't worry - you probably won't even have to do anything." Pollard slowly 
started walking towards the field, hoping that nobody noticed him. Play then 
resumed.
      Roddy took the snap and handed off to Danforth. Danforth took it and ran 
Plucky down when he tried to tackle him. Danforth picked up another thirty yards 
before Shirley was finally able to catch up to him and knock him down. Now, 
with the clock running down to ten seconds left, Roddy signaled for time.
      "And Perfecto Prep calls a timeout. They have one last shot to win, or Acme 
will beat Perfecto for the second straight year!" Sylvester shouted up in the 
announcer's booth. Roddy walked over near the Perfecto bench and tore off his 
helmet.
      "So who hasn't played yet today? We need somebody who hasn't been tackled 
by Dizzy yet." One hand went up. "Well great. You're in at receiver," Roddy told 
the unfamiliar face. He was looking down at a tall, dark red cat. "What's your 
name?"
      "Cone McKatton." Cone put on his helmet and ran to the field. As Perfecto 
returned, Pollard looked right at the new Perfecto player coming onto the field. 
He couldn't really make out the face, but it seemed familiar. Pollard inched over 
to Shirley.
      "Shirley, does that new Perfecto look at all familiar?" he asked. Shirley looked 
at him for a second, and she too thought he looked familiar to her. Both of them 
discovered why when he removed his helmet for a second to adjust it. Pollard 
nearly fell over and Shirley's jaw hit the ground in surprise.
      "Like what on Earth is he doing here?" Shirley asked.
      "I have no idea. All I do know is this can't be good."
      Across from them, Danforth and Cone inched closer to one another and spoke.
      “Naturally, those two would have to hang off each other,” Cone said.
      “Yeah, but what did you expect? I mean, they haven’t been around each other 
for years so of course they are going to go right for each other. You know the old 
saying – absense makes the heart grow fungus.”
      Before they could say anything else about it, the play started. Pollard ran as 
fast as he could back to where he was supposed to be. Just as he got back into 
position, Cone came streaking forward. He ran Pollard down and continued a very 
fast spring down the field. As this was going on, Roddy dropped back and saw 
Cone was running wide open. He pulled back to throw the ball, but Buster had 
made it into the backfield and managed to tip the ball as it was leaving Roddy's 
hand. The ball flew in the direction of Cone, but it was wabbling and was off 
target. Nevertheless, Cone was fast enough and tall enough to pull the terrible 
pass in. As soon as he caught it, he turned upfield and ran uncontested into the 
endzone. As he passed over the line, time expired. Perfecto had just won the 
game.
      "Hey! Perfecto isn't supposed to win the game! Who wrote this script?" Buster 
protested as he saw Perfecto begin to celebrate in the endzone. Nobody answered 
him and the Acme players started to slowly walk off the field and into the locker 
room as Perfecto continued to celebrate on the field. Cone hadn't let go of the 
football yet. As the Acme players started to head back, Danforth and Cone threw 
off their helmets and looked right at Shirley and Pollard. Both of them smirked, 
and Shirley and Pollard tried their best to ignore them.

      "I was amazing on that last play! Wasn't that a great throw?" Roddy asked the 
locker room as the team was busy changing after the game. Nobody answered for 
a few seconds until Cone finally said something.
      "Yeah, if you call five yards to far to the right great. You're lucky I had the 
speed to go over and catch it."
      "Hey, my throw made you look good rookie," Roddy replied. "Don't you 
forget it."
      "Hey, so who are you anyway?" somebody in the room asked. Before Cone 
could answer, Danforth stopped him.
      "This is Cone McKatton, our new star receiver," he said. Nobody really said 
anything else, but it was obvious by the look on his face than Roddy already 
didn't like the new guy.
      "Nobody tries to upstage me on this team, especially not some newbie," he 
muttered to himself. "He'll see in the next game that he made a big mistake."
      As Danforth and Cone stepped out of the locker room, Margot ran up to him 
and threw her arms around Danforth.  
      "Danforth, that was wonderful," she told him. She then looked over his 
shoulder and saw the hero who had caught the last pass, and pushed Danforth out 
of the way to talk to him. "Hi, I'm..."
      "Margot Mallard. Trust me, I've seen you before. You were in the only 
episode of that wretched show I ever watched - the last Acme Bowl, and I only 
used that to motivate me for this year. I guess it paid off."
      "I guess so."
      "Hey Margot, we've gotta go for our victory celebration," he said as he put his 
arm back around her.
      "I'll see you two later," Cone said to them as they started to walk off.
      "Yeah, alright," Danforth answered.
      "Definitely," Margot said back. The two when exchanged smiles when 
Danforth wasn't looking. Cone waited a minute and then started to walk away. 
Before he made it all the way out of the tunnel, Roddy stood in front of him.
      "What's the big idea rookie?" he asked.
      "What? You mean besides the fact that I caught the winning ball despite the 
bad throw?"
      "Hey, don't mess with me. Just because you're some big shot back on your 
own little show doesn't mean you're anything here."
      "We'll just see, won't we?" Cone said. He then moved Roddy aside and kept 
walking. Roddy glared at him for a few seconds and then walked away.
      "I guess we will."

Chapter 4

      Cone stepped into the halls of Perfecto Prep the following Monday with the 
compliments from several other students on his catch coming his way. He thanked 
each one of them as they complimented him, but he made sure not to sound to 
appreciative - after all, he was a Perfecto student now. As he continued for his 
locker, a large poster in the hall caught his eye. It said on it," Roddy for president 
- as if you had a choice!" He turned around from this and saw Danforth standing 
behind him.
      "Roddy has been class president for the last three years. Actually, in all that 
time not a single student has run against him," Danforth pointed out. "Really, 
don't tell him I said this, but I think we might want a change of pace for once. 
And, to tell you the truth, I think you might be able to beat him."
      "Isn't he your friend? I mean, aren't you supposed to support his campaign?"
      "This is business. Roddy knows that better than anybody. Now, considering 
how popular you suddenly are after that game, you would be the perfect candidate 
to run against him."
      "You're crazy, Dan... but, you really think I could win?"
      "With me as your campaign manager, you couldn't lose. I'll get working on it 
right away. Just don't tell Roddy - that might just screw things up."
      "Fine. I'll talk to you later and we'll go over the details. Right now, I've gotta 
go do something."
      "Sure. See ya."
      Cone walked away, and after traveling down a couple of halls, came across 
Margot.
      "Hey there," she said.
      "Hey yourself. So guess who's running for class president."
      "Oh. This could be interesting."
      "Well, I trust I can count on your vote." Margot just kind of smiled and the 
two looked at each other silently for a few seconds before the bell rang. "I'll see 
ya later. Make sure to call me tonight," he told her as he handed her over a small 
business card with his picture on it. He then walked away.
      "Danforth never had a business card. This is too cool."
 
      Back at Acme Loo, the atmosphere was much more somber. The students 
were still in shock about the loss, especially those on the football team.
      "Relax Buster," Babs assured him as they spoke in the hall that morning. "It's 
just a game - they'll get over it." Buster opened his locker and a pie fired out of it 
into his face. He the turned to Babs. "Okay, not right away, but they'll get over it."
      Shirley, who was walking this morning with Plucky, their arms joined, found 
Pollard sitting by himself in the library that morning.
      "Like what are you doing?" she asked as she walked in with the green duck.
      "Thinking. I'm not sure you get what we saw at that game."
      "Shirley told me all about this guy," Plucky said. "He just sounds like a 
normal preppie to me."
      "That's not true. I didn't get a chance to tell you what he's like now, Shirley. 
You see, The Last Thing Expected is a little more... serious, than Tiny Toons. Not 
that much more, but somewhat. Cone goes a little beyond what you're used to out 
of Perfecto students, especially when he's mad. This could really mean bad things 
for Acme Loo, and I'm trying to think of what to do about it."
      "Well shouldn't you be used to dealing with him by now?"
      "I don't know... it's too different here to know exactly what to do." Pollard 
then returned to staring blankly and thinking like Shirley and Plucky weren't 
there. The two got up and left him alone.

      Lunchtime came and the cafeteria was silent. None of the usual remarks about 
the food or anything like that was flying. Instead, it was eerily quiet.
     Shirley sat down at their unusually quiet table before Pollard arrived. Despite 
the silence she started to speak as soon as she sat down.
      "I've got an idea," Shirley said to Fifi. "Tonight I am totally going to go see if 
I can find another episode of Pollard's show. After all, I kinda want to see it, and 
he's been looking for a copy." She looked up and saw the dark blue duck headed 
for their table. "Don't tell him, alright Fifi?"
      "Oui..." she answered in a low tone. Just after that, Pollard sat down right next 
to Shirley.
      "Well this is turning into a fun place," Plucky remarked. "Everybody here's 
still mad about that football game, except Shirley's old friend who's acting like the 
world is coming to an end because this Cone guy is at Perfecto Prep."
      "You know Plucky, Pollard's sitting about three feet from you," Babs pointed 
out. Pollard hadn't noticed what Plucky had said; he still appeared as wrapped up 
as he did that morning. "How is it that the wackiest school on Earth can become 
so dead in just a day?"
      "We've never lost to Perfecto before," Buster reminded him. "It takes some 
getting used to."
      "Oh come on! We need to liven this place up again," Plucky told them.
      "You know, I think he's right," Babs chimed in. She then jumped up on the 
table. "Hey everybody! Listen up! Your school needs you!" She now had the 
attention of the entire cafeteria. "Are we gonna let those Perfecto snobs ruin our 
school?" Everybody mumbled. "I can't hear you!"
      "No!" Hamton shouted. Everybody turned and looked at him. "Wow. Where 
did that come from?"
      "Hey, if even Hamton get shout no, then you all can too. Are you gonna let 
those Perfecto losers get us down?"
      "No!!"
      "That's right. So what are we gonna do? I'll tell you what - we'll throw the best 
party in the history of Acme Acres, that's what!" Everybody started yelling and 
cheering.
      "We seem to be in the mood swing capital of the world," Pollard commented 
to Shirley. She didn't offer any argument to that. The whole room was now 
buzzing and excited.

      "Here it is Cone - your first campaign poster," Danforth said as he pointed at 
the poster on the wall. There was a picture of his touchdown catch and just a sign 
telling people to vote for Cone.
      "When did you have time to print this off?" Cone asked.
      "During the time when loser schools have 'class.' Who needs that? Now, our 
next step is proving you're rich enough to deserve the office. Everybody by now 
knows who you are, and when the school is covered in these ads by tomorrow, 
everybody will know you're running against Roddy. I'll get to work on that later, 
but for right now I've gotta go." Danforth then took off. Cone turned around and 
saw Roddy standing right next to him.
      "What do you think you're doing, newbie?" he asked with a scowl on his face. 
"You can't run against me."
      "And why not? I've been a class president before, and I think I proved that I 
can get done what needs to be done," Cone answered. Roddy's face was turning 
very bright red now, but Cone stood perfectly calm and stared right back at him.
      "One lousy play on the football field doesn't make you fit to run the greatest, 
richest school in the world. Nobody's gonna vote for you. First, I'll beat you at the 
election, and then make sure you'll never want to step foot in Perfecto again." 
Roddy then walked off, while Cone just smirked and continued on. As Roddy 
sped off in an angry hurry, he encountered Danforth standing near his locker.
      "Can you believe that new guy? Who does he think he is, coming in here and 
trying to upstage me?" Roddy complained. Danforth nodded in agreement.
      "You can never tell what these new guys are going to try to pull to look like 
they're important. Don't worry - you shouldn't have any problem dealing with 
him."
      "Even so, I hope I can count on you to help deal with this problem."
      "Don't worry Roddy - I'll definitely be involved." Danforth then shut his 
locker and walked off.

      "What do you mean we don't have the money?" Babs asked Bugs. "We need 
to do this!"
      "Sorry but da budget has been cut back a little. We can't afford anymore than 
just da normal dance at dis time. Sorry, Babs."
      "Then can you break it to everybody? I don't think they'll throw food or tables 
at you when you tell them." Babs then walked out of the principal's office feeling 
both disappointed and angry. As she walked down the hall she kicked a garbage 
can in frustration, but right after kicking it she heard a voice.
      "Ow!" Babs ran looked up and saw that her flying garbage can had hit Pollard 
in the face.
      "Sorry!" She walked right up to him and started making sure he was alright.
      "I'm fine. Now, what was that about?"
      "Bugs just stopped that party we wanted to have for the school. It was 
something about not having enough money. This is just what we needed." Pollard 
stopped and thought for a second.
      "You know, I think I can help with that. In fact, I'm sure I could make it 
happen."
      "Really? Thanks Pollard!" she then gave him a hug and his face turned bright 
red. Babs then walked off while Pollard sat there for a second. "This is unreal - 
I'm helping Babs Bunny! Oh, I'm getting goose bumps. This must be what it feels 
like to really be part of an episode of Tiny Toons."

      "So Pollard, are you ready explain what it is you can do to help with the 
party?" Babs asked him as they started walking towards the exit at the end of the 
day.
      "Well, I would like Shirley to be there before I explain."
      "Speaking of Shirley, where is she? She normally meets us here after school.
      "She said she had something important to do, so I told her I would talk to her 
later."
      Back in the school, Shirley slowly walked down the old stairs on her way to 
the basement of Acme Loo, to the film vault. She walked into the cold room and 
saw rack upon rack of cartoons both old and recent sitting down there. She 
proceeded to the L section, and on the bottom shelf she found episode one of "The 
Last Thing Expected." However, next to it was something completely different. 
She looked around on the nearby shelves, but there were no copies of the other 
episodes - just episode one, the same one Pollard had given her. A little 
disappointed, Shirley headed back out of the film vault.

      "I'm glad you all came," Pollard said to the toons sitting his living room. 
"Before we start, can I just get a picture?" Before he was given an answer, Pollard 
rushed out and came back in again holding a camera. He didn't even wait for them 
to get ready - he just snapped a shot of Buster, Babs, Plucky, Fifi, Shirley, and 
Hamton sitting in his living room. He then put the camera back, came back in and 
sat down next to Shirley. "Alright, my plan is this. Before I left my parents told 
me that besides just food and stuff like that, if I really wanted to, I could have 
some extra money to do something like this. Something completely off the wall 
and that I don't really need. We could use it and not just throw a big party that 
would beat anything Acme Loo has done, but one that also beats those Perfecto 
parties."
      "Sounds like a great idea, Pollard," Buster answered. Everybody else appeared 
to agree. "So, what do you have planned?"
      "Me? You want me to do it? No, really I shouldn't. I'm not great at that kind of 
thing. I don't really like bossing people around like I would have to so we could 
get this organized."
      "So you're royalty, and you don't like telling people what to do? What kind of 
Kingdom must that be?" commented Plucky.
      "Buster, Babs, this seems to be the kind of thing you would be good at. Do 
you want to be in charge of putting it together?"
      "Sure Pollard, if that's really what you want," Buster answered. Pollard 
nodded yes.
      "I'll get you the money tomorrow. So, I guess that's really all I had to say. If 
there's nothing else then I suppose you can all go home." Everybody except for 
Shirley stood up at once and started walking out. She sat there and waited for 
everybody to leave. Finally, when the last one had closed the door behind them 
she started to speak.
      "Pollard, after school I went down to the film vault and I still couldn't find any 
more episodes of your show," she told him.
      "That's strange. I thought that vault had practically everything."
      "It does. That's the weird part. They have shows that nobody has heard of, but 
they only have episode one of your show that's been on for three years." Pollard 
started trying to figure it out.
      "They never did tell me why there were no tapes of the other episodes. I mean, 
compared to some shows, the first episode wasn't even that great," Pollard told 
her. "We were all so nervous when it was going on, it looked like some of us 
didn't even belong on television." Shirley laughed a little at that, remembering 
that not everybody at Acme Loo seemed like an instant cartoon star off-camera.
      "So like how did they decide to let you finally come here?" she asked him.
      "Well, I could just sit here and explain it to you - but, in case anybody's 
watching this right now, I think a flashback might be little more interesting."

Chapter 5 (a flashback to the previous June)

      Pollard walked in the huge front doors of the estate and threw his books down 
on the floor. He let out a long sigh and fell back onto a couch. Sitting for a 
second, a removed the small golden crown from the top of his head and placed it 
down next to him. Just as he started to drift off right there, his parents walked in 
the door.
      "How does it feel to be done the third season of the show?" his father asked in 
a very enthusiastic voice.
      "Great..." Pollard answered. "It's just that filling the summer isn't that easy." 
"The only thing I really have planned is trying to get my driver's license and 
maybe writing something."
      "Well, Pollard, we'll see if we can't come up with something more... exciting 
for you to do."
      "Yeah. Well, I'm just gonna go up to my room for a while, alright?"
      "Sure thing, son." Pollard walked over to the elevator installed in their house 
and within seconds he was in his room. He sat down on his bed and started staring 
at the walls - there were Tiny Toons posters and merchandise everywhere. He 
popped in a tape of Prom-ise her anything, on of his favorite episodes. Sitting 
back, he watched Shirley and Plucky at the prom, and smiled a little. "One day 
Shirley..." He watched the episode through about three times before he heard a 
knock on his door. When he opened it, there was his father.
      "Well Pollard, I think we need to talk." Pollard shut off the TV and sat down 
in the chair. "Now, I know you're going to ask again this year - and really, once 
again, we really did try - but, it doesn't look like we'll be able to get you to Acme 
Acres this year. I'm sorry."
      "Can I at least write yet? It's been so long..." he said in a weak voice as he 
stared at his feet.
      "Sorry, but like I've said, it just can't be done. It's really too tough to explain." 
Pollard said nothing. With the disappointment obvious on his face, his father 
decided to leave him alone.
      Hours later the teenage duck could hear his parents talking in the next room. 
"Honey, we really need to do something about this. He's really upset about it. If it 
weren't for that show I would be surprised if he remembered what Shirley was 
like. Can't we pay somebody to make this work?"
      "You mean like the same people who gave us all this in the first place?"
      "Okay, but all the same we should call them again tomorrow. You would 
think somebody out there would be able to help us out."
      Pollard heard all of this, and at least felt a little better knowing that they were 
trying. Still, optimism wasn't his strong suit, and he still held out little to no hope 
of getting to Acme Loo.

Six weeks later...

      Pollard's alarm went off at six o'clock, four hours earlier than he usually woke 
up during the summer. He looked next to his bed and saw three suitcases. He 
walked downstairs and saw his parents loading some items into the car.
      "Hey, what's going on?" he asked.
      "Pollard... we have a surprise for you," his mother started.
      "Yeah. We're taking a little trip today. Well, you are."
      "Not to get my hopes up but... do you mean..." They both nodded yes. His 
face was covered by a shocked smile, and then he passed out from surprise. He 
was revived in a few minutes, and they were off in a very long, white limo.
      "How did this happen?" he asked.
      "I really can't explain right now... anyway, don't worry about that Pollard," his 
father told him. "Just sit back and enjoy the ride." He did just that. Pollard stared 
out the window at a very unfamiliar stretch of land - the mountainous backdrop he 
was used to was now replaced with just a vast desert. There was nothing for as far 
as his eyes could see. After a while, he wasn't really looking - he was too lost in 
thought about what he was going to do when he got there. Then, after about an 
hour, he blacked out. He didn't fall asleep - all he could remember was being 
forced out. When he came to, he was pulled up in front of the house in Acme 
Acres and told that they would be back in December.
     He ran inside and threw his stuff down. Before he set out to go find Shirley, 
something caught his eye. The calendar said September, even though it was 
August when he left. He found a small note that tried to explain this - it claimed 
there was a major time difference between the two places. This note also told him 
a lot of things about Acme Acres - including that the next day was the first day of 
school at Acme Loo. Figuring that would be the best place to find Shirley, he 
decided to hold off one more day. After all, what was twenty-four hours after 
three long years?

Chapter 6

      A butler greeted Danforth as he rang the doorbell at Cone's house late that 
night.
      "Guess who I want to talk to," Danforth said. The servant disappeared and 
Cone walked up.
      "Isn't it kinda late for campaign planning Danforth?" he asked.
      "I just want to make sure this place is as suited to be out headquarters for this 
as I think it is," he answered. "After all, there's no better time to do this kind of 
thing as when the competition's sleeping." Danforth surveyed the place - it wasn't 
nearly as big as his place, but it was quite large, especially with only one occupant 
and three servants. "I definitely got what I paid for. See, when I told you we 
would only give you the best accommodations when you agreed to come here I 
wasn't lying."
      "I live in a small house with my parents near a mountain top back home," 
Cone told him. "I would've been impressed by almost anything. I still can't 
believe your campaign backers funded a place like this."
      "They've seen your work back on your show, and they really think you could 
do the things to make Perfecto even better. And, if it works out, you'll never have 
to go back to that loser cartoon again." Danforth started walking around the 
house, mapping out in his mind where everything would go as the election 
planning went on. He also admired what he had made other people pay for - if 
Cone didn't win, this could make a nice summer place for himself.
      "So how much of the show have you actually seen?" Cone asked him as they 
walked up the stairs to the fourth floor.
      "What show?"
      "The Last Thing Expected. The one where I'm the main villain," he reminded 
him.
      "Right. Good stuff," he said insincerely. Cone took this as something of a 
compliment, ignoring the insincerity in his voice. "Now, tomorrow the television 
ads start. Don't worry - I already had a company make commercials up for you. 
Roddy won't know what hit him - but if you tell him what I've done for you here, 
I'll have to find a new candidate to back. Only Margot knows."
      "And why is that?"
      "It just makes it easier. I have to work with him all the time - if he knew I was 
working against him, who knows what might happen to Perfecto? With no 
Perfecto, I would bet Acme Acres wouldn't take too long to disappear. After all, 
we're holding it together. The rich rule this area and this stupid show." The two 
both laughed at that a little and returned to business.

      At about this same time, Shirley was lying awake in bed. For some unknown 
reason, she couldn't fall asleep. She felt this strange feeling like something bad 
was going to be happening, but she had no idea when. After a little while of 
tossing and turning the Loon ran to the crystal ball sitting on the desk of her room. 
He placed her fingers on the sides and tried to see what it was she was sensing, 
but all she could make out were a few vague images involving rooftops, shaking, 
and a lot of water. Then the vision was lost. Shirley slowly crept back to her bed 
and tried to fall asleep again.

Chapter 7

      Lunchtime the next day came, and over at Perfecto Prep Cone was counting 
down to the minute when his ad for the school presidency was going to hit the 
airwaves and not just cover the monitors in the halls of their school, but all over 
Acme Acres. This was becoming more than just some school presidency - it 
meant everything, and everybody had to know what was going on. So, Cone 
huddled near a large television in a dark room of the school and waited anxiously. 
Danforth was sitting in the cafeteria as if he knew nothing.
      "Hey there," Cone heard a familiar voice behind him say. He turned around 
and saw Margot standing there.
      "Hey. What're you doing here?"
      "Well, Danforth didn't want me to blow his cover, so I thought I'd watch the 
premier with you. After all, it's your commercial." The two sat very close to each 
other, and after a few seconds Cone put his arm around her.
      "When I rule this school, you'll be right up there with me."
      "I have a boyfriend - of course, you already know that."
      "So? I have a girlfriend back home, and I catch her with other guys all the 
time."

      Pollard, carrying a tray with a considerable amount of food, started walking 
towards the usual table, but he wasn't paying much attention as he walked. 
Without realizing where he was walking, he ran right into Daffy's legs, spilling 
soup and a drink all over the teacher. Pollard didn't know what to say, so he sat 
silently. Daffy was looking down at him, and he didn't look impressed.
      "Watch where you're going!" Daffy shouted at Pollard. Pollard saw what he 
had spilled on Daffy, and then he looked down to discover that he, too, was 
covered. Pollard started to run out of the cafeteria to find something he could 
clean himself off with. Shirley saw the whole exchange and she went after him.
      "Pollard, you've got to like watch out more," she said.
      "Sorry. You know I'm clumsy, Shirley." Shirley started to lead to him to the 
teacher's lounge. The two stepped in where they saw most of the staff sitting in 
there.
      "Can we like have a towel or something?" Shirley asked with Pollard standing 
behind her.
      "Eh, sure. There's some on the back counter," Bugs answered without looking 
at them. Everybody was staring at the screen of the television in the room. Just as 
Shirley picked up a towel, the screen suddenly filled with static. It then came up 
on a picture of a familiar - looking toon: Cone. Pollard and Shirley both froze, 
staring at the screen.
      "Hello all. You should all remember me as the hero of the game where we 
crushed Acme Loo once and for all. Now, I want to help take it a step further. 
You see, Roddy has been running the show for three years now, and the school 
has just stayed frozen. I will actually take it somewhere. Trust me, if you actually 
want an improvement then vote for Cone McKatton when the time comes. I have 
the money, the brains, and the motivation. Roddy just has the money, and not 
even as much as I do." The picture then disappeared and regular programming 
resumed.
      "No, he wouldn't," Pollard said as he saw that. "He can't... no, this isn't right!" 
Pollard then turned and looked at Shirley. "Shirley, we have to do something!"
      "Like calm down. It's just the Perfecto election. What difference would that 
make to us?"
      "Cone is a little different than you might remember. He's meaner, and he can 
lose it sometimes. If we was put in charge then he could have Perfecto go after 
Acme Loo in ways you've never seen." Shirley then paused for a second, 
remembering the strange feeling of dread she had experienced the night before. It 
then occurred to her that something like this could easily be what it was about.
      "Alright, Pollard. What do you suggest we do?"
      "I'll get back to you," he yelled as he ran out of the room.

      The final period of the day started. Daffy was taking attendance and noticed 
that Pollard wasn't in class, despite how he saw him at lunch. "Shirley, where's 
your friend Fowler?" he asked.
      "Like he had a... um, doctor's appointment er something," she told him. Daffy 
didn't look like he believed it. "Well, tell him without a note he'll be getting a 
detention tomorrow." Shirley said nothing to that. Instead, she turned to the side 
and looked at Babs.
      "I've never seen Daffy act like this to a student before," Shirley said. "Plucky's 
gotten away with not being in class like dozens of times."
      "Daffy's playing favorites with his protégé. What'd you expect?"
      "But even so, this is too weird."
      "I guess that's just the way it is..." Babs said, followed by some nervous 
laughter.
      "Babs, that doesn't sound like you. What are you keeping from me?"
      "Nothing." Shirley looked at her in disbelief. "Alright, I'll explain it to you 
later. Buster kinda needs to help. I hate secrets - I always get blamed when they 
come out!"

      After school, Buster, Babs and Shirley headed for the back of the school.
      "Now, this isn't like a big deal," Babs said.
      "It's just your friend Pollard really wouldn't want to hear this," Buster added. 
"With how much he loves this place, knowing this might not be really good for 
him."
      "Get on with it already," Shirley told them.
      "Alright," Babs told her. "When you introduced us, both of us thought Pollard 
looked a little familiar. We took a look back at the tape of the Looney beginning 
and saw him there right by you."
      "Then it all came back to us. We remember his audition - it was good, and we 
wanted him on the show. The only thing was, with the older toons all wanting 
characters that fit them to mentor, they were going to have some say in who we 
cast."
      "Daffy called us in the middle of Pollard's audition. He said that he was 
watching and this wasn't the character he wanted to work with. Basically, he kept 
Pollard from being added to Tiny Toons, and now that he's here anyway, Daffy 
probably remembers and thinks of turning him down three years ago."
      "Please don't tell Pollard."
      "There's no way I would," Shirley answered. "I know him, and he really 
shouldn't hear things like that. I will talk to Daffy, though." Shirley then started to 
walk away now with one mystery cleared up, but not with the kind of solution she 
had hoped for.
      Just as she neared her house, Shirley decided instead to walk over and see 
Pollard. As she walked into his house, she started fighting back the urge to say 
anything about what she had just heard. Instead, she just started asking about what 
he done with the remainder of the day.
      "So like where did you go?" Shirley asked.
      "I headed right home. I needed to try and come up with something. I should 
have seen this coming - he can't stand seeing anybody in a position of power. 
That's probably why he moved from just disliking me to really hating me."
      "Did you come up with anything?"
      "No. Back home I have a few ways of dealing with these things, and normally 
Cone finds a way to foul it up on his own, but this seems different. I'm really 
nervous about this - my head is spinning and my stomach feels like it's having a 
hole punched through it."
      "This really was never my kind of thing, either," Shirley told him.
      "I don't know - remember back at Tooningwood when you were the only one 
who did anything back to Danforth?"
      "What about when you threw that bowl of soup at him? That's when I first 
actually like starting hanging out with you."
      "How could I forget?"   
      The two reminisced for a few hours about the different pranks Danforth would 
pull, and about he was always having his friends pull little stunts too. Finally, at 
the end of the conversation, both of them realized something - no matter what 
stories they remembered, there was no way they could know what to do now to 
try and deal with this.
      "So do you give up?" Shirley asked him.
      "Yeah. I guess we'll just have to ask Buster and Babs - after all, they've 
always been great dealing with the Perfectos. Of course, Danforth and Cone are a 
little different than Roddy and Rubella, but I would bet they could help. After all, 
they're Buster and Babs. Anyway, I've got a few other things I need to get to 
doing, so I'll see you later, Shirley. And, thanks for coming over. Remembering 
all that stuff is always fun." Shirley gave him a hug and then walked out the door.

      The following day at lunch, Shirley and Pollard walked up to the table to see 
Buster and Babs both reading over a flyer that had a picture of Cone on it.
      "What's that?" Pollard asked.
      "Someone from Perfecto must've come by and stuck these on a few of the 
lockers," Babs answered. "It's talking about some rally for the guy running against 
Roddy tomorrow." Shirley grabbed it out of her hands and read it over. It said that 
if Acme Loo students wanted to actually pretend to be important for a minute, 
they could come to the rally, but they must cheer for Cone or be kicked out like 
the losers they are.
      "I think this is our chance," Pollard said in a low voice to Shirley. She nodded 
in agreement.
      "Are you like gonna ask them then?"
      "Well, I don't know. I don't know if Buster and Babs would want to or not and 
well..."
      "Uh guys," Buster said. "We're rabbits. We have good ears. What is it you 
want to ask us?"
      "Well, you see, we kinda need to do something about this guy running at 
Perfecto Prep and neither of us are any good at this sort of thing and you are and 
well..."
      "So you want us to help you mess up this rally?" Pollard nodded yes. "I don't 
know. He is running against Roddy."
      "And we are all a little tired of him being there," Babs chimed in.
      "I'll help!" Plucky volunteered.
      "Plucky, what are you doing?" Hamton asked in a whisper from next to him.
      "Don't you get it Hammy? If I help Shirley with this then it'll at least let me 
spend some time with her. She has barely talked to me since Pollard got here. It 
also won't give Pollard more time alone with her so he can't move in or 
something. I could also get a few secrets on what to do to get rich and powerful 
like he is back on his show. No matter what, I win!" Hamton just shrugged. 
Something about the awkward guy he knew for a few months three years back 
being a Prince still didn't seem right to him.
      "Buster, I know Roddy is bad, but Cone is past that. He can go off sometimes 
and it can get really ugly," Pollard explained. "There was this one time he made 
all of the sewers overflow and push the manhole covers off - it took days to clean 
up. I was lucky to live on a hill." Buster and Babs exchanged looks and hesitated 
for a second.
      "Alright you two. Count us in."

      Back at Perfecto, Roddy was busy in the halls at lunch ripping down all of the 
posters for Cone and putting his own up. Some took direct shots at Cone, while 
others just promoted himself. He also advertised his own rally to happen on the 
same night.
      "Ah Danforth," Roddy said as he saw his supposed best friend approach. "I'm 
just about ready to respond to those dumb flyers and commercials. Wait until you 
see my commercial."
      "Oh? You have one?" Danforth asked.
      "Yeah. It cost a lot of money, but who cares? It's not like I'm running low on 
funds."
      "Well, it looks like your campaign's going fine. You must have some people 
working on it with you."
      "Right now only Ruby's done anything. Last year you did a lot more for it. 
Why haven't you helped this year?"
      "Because, I've had other stuff to do." Roddy looked at him with a little 
suspicion.
      "You're not working on the other campaign are you?"
      "Roddy! How could you even suggest that?"
      "Sorry, but I need to make sure. I know you wouldn't do that."
      "Thank you. Now, I have to go take care of something." Danforth then walked 
away down a few halls and pulled out his cell phone. "Yeah, I'm glad I got a hold 
of you. I need you to replace Roddy's commercial. I don't care what goes in its 
place, just get rid of it. Alright, thanks. The check's in the mail." Danforth then 
hung up the phone. "It's nice having friends at the TV station."
      A few minutes later, the televisions flashed the words, "and now a message 
from Roderick Rat, once again set to be president of Perfecto Prep." Just then, it 
flashed a tape of Buster and Babs at the previous year's Acme Bowl, just after 
Acme Loo had won. The whole school started to boo simultaneously. Roddy 
couldn't believe his eyes.
      "No! Stop! This isn't my ad!" Roddy started to shout. He then ran frantically 
around the halls trying to cover up the television sets. The commercial ended with 
the words," vote for Roderick Rat - Buster and Babs would!" Roddy dropped to 
the floor in front of the television in disbelief. After a minute, he was able to turn 
himself around and saw an angry group of students assembled behind him, each 
one with either a piece of food in their hand. Roddy blocked his face just in time 
to get bombarded with the objects. Standing at the back of the group that had 
surrounded Roddy was Danforth, who just smirked a little. He didn't want to see 
his friend hurt like this, but right now the campaign meant more.

      As the last class of the day came around, Shirley stared right at Daffy as she 
walked in, still thinking about what Buster and Babs had told her. After a few 
seconds, Daffy looked at her and noticed the look on her face.
      "Is something wrong?" he asked. Shirley hesitated for a second, but then 
walked right up to him.
      "Totally. Buster and Babs told me about the auditions," Shirley pointed out. 
Daffy looked confused.
      "Eh... auditions for what, exactly?"
      "The Tiny Toons auditions. I know that you totally sent Pollard off back then 
and you don't want to remember that so that's why you don't want him here."
      "Oh. That. Well listen, I had every right to do that. After all, if it's the student 
I have to work with for at least four years I should get some say in who it is. You 
can't make me feel guilty about it and neither can Bugs."
      "Bugs?"
      "Never mind."
      "Just totally lay off him, alright?"
      "Fine. Now, can you please take your seat?" Shirley complied, walking back 
over the chair next to Pollard. "Hello class. Today we're," Daffy started before a 
loud crashing sound from outside interrupted him. The whole room shook with 
the tremendous noises. The entire class rushed to the window to see several 
construction trucks and workers standing out there.
      "Oh. This is kinda my fault," Pollard said. "You see, they're starting to set up 
the building for the Acme Loo party and well, I guess they didn't understand start 
this after school."
      "I thought we would be setting this party up Pollard. In the gym. You know, 
the building we already have?" Babs pointed out.
      "Well, I just didn't think it was big enough. Don't worry - you and Buster will 
still be in charge of decorating and everything, but this new place will be better 
for doing it." The crashing finally stopped for a minute, and everybody turned 
around and saw Bugs standing in the doorway. Pollard walked right over to him 
and was pulled out into the hall, closing the door behind him.
      "Eh, what is going on? Those construction guys said you told dem to do dis."
      "Well, the thing is I just forgot to ask you, and we really need a new building 
to throw the party, and well, I guess I didn't think about it," Pollard explained 
nervously. Bugs could tell that he was even shaking a little.
      "Look, I know what you're trying to do, but dey can't interrupt class. I'll just 
tell dem to come back in a few hours, and don't do something like dis again." 
Pollard nodded in agreement and walked back in. "I didn't think dis place could 
get any stranger," Bugs thought out loud as he headed back for his office.

      As Pollard walked back in, the class was returning to normal. Pollard took his 
seat and nothing more about what just happened was said. Daffy began to write 
something on the board.
      "Pollard, Shirley," Babs said in a whisper. "Me and Buster came up with some 
great ideas for Cone's rally."
      "Great. I'm actually kinda looking forward to it," Pollard told her.
      "We are, too. After all, we've never actually been to Perfecto Prep. It'll be 
pretty exciting to go there."
      "You might want to hide your identity. After all, I don't think they like you 
guys there."
      "We've got it all worked out. You two and Plucky just come to my place 
before it starts and we'll get ready. If those Cone guy thinks of you the way he 
says, you probably shouldn't be seen there either. I'll see if Fifi and Hamton want 
to come, too. This could be fun."

Chapter 8

      It was now Wednesday night, the night of the two Perfecto prep rallies. 
Pollard, Shirley and Plucky all dropped down into Babs' burrow together at about 
four-thirty. They walked in and saw four other toons standing with black 
sweatshirts and dark pants on. Babs and Buster both had their hair tied back, and 
both had wigs that were visible a little under the hoods of the shirts - Buster's was 
black and Babs' was brown. Hamton had glasses on and his face was shadowed 
over by the hood. Fifi didn't change much about her look, just her clothes. Buster 
walked up and handed Pollard and Shirley their outfits for the evening.
      "Um, why are we all dressing the same?" Pollard asked.
      "You fit in the background better this way, as long as we don't all sit 
together," Buster answered.
      "Plus, we got a discount for buying six of the same sweatshirt," Babs chimed 
in. Pollard shrugged and put the shirt on, and he was already wearing black pants. 
Shirley disappeared into another room for a second and came back out wearing 
jeans and the sweatshirt. Shirley was barely able to hold up the pants as she 
walked.
      "Like these are too big!"
      "Oh, I bet I have a belt you could use. Just a second." Babs ran into her room 
and came back with a  bright red belt in her hands.
      "Yeah, that's gonna blend into the background," Plucky remarked. Shirley did 
place the belt around her waist, but then she pulled her sweatshirt down to cover it 
up.
      "Is everybody ready to go?" Buster asked. Everybody nodded and then the ran 
out of the burrow on their way to Perfecto Prep.

      "So there it is," Buster said as they stepped onto the grounds of the school. 
The security guard posted didn't even notice them - instead, he was reading a 
magazine and complaining to himself about how none of the students ever tipped 
him, giving the Acme Loo students a chance to sneak by.
      Once past the gates, they snuck around the side of the building, making sure to 
stick very close to the wall due to the security cameras overhead. After clearing 
one corner, they noticed a stage set up not too far away, and Cone's picture was 
the backdrop on it.
      "This must be the spot," Buster said. "Let's get to work." With that the six 
toons headed for the stage and started making a few changes for that night's 
events.

      Two hours passed. The toons left the grounds for a short time after setting up, 
and returned when the festivities were about to start. All around, Perfecto students 
were taking seats. The Acme group split up - Plucky, Shirley and Pollard went to 
one area, Buster and Fifi went to one area, and Hamton and Babs went to another. 
Meanwhile, just as Cone's rally was setting up, on the other side of the school 
Roddy's presentation was also about to begin. Roddy had explained to the whole 
school that wasn't his ad, and he managed to blame the Acme Loo bunnies for 
that. Most people believed him, but Cone was still gaining support.
      "Is everything ready out there?" Roddy asked Danforth.
      "Absolutely. Now, since you've already got my vote, and I've done everything 
here, I'm going to go see the competition's speech and I'll let you know what he's 
claiming he'll do," Danforth explained.
      "Thanks. With us working together, no newbie is going to beat me." Danforth 
took off for the other stage, leaving Roddy alone and ready to make his 
presentation.

      Back at Cone's stage, the seats were all filled and there even a few students 
standing up and watching. There were also a large number of adults sitting in the 
back row, each one in dark business suits. The lights went out, and then a 
spotlight appeared on stage. Cone walked out, but when he stepped into the 
spotlight, it moved. This happened several times before they just gave up and 
turned on the overhead lights.
      "Good evening fellow Perfecto students," Cone said into the mic. "Now, as 
I'm sure you know by now, you really only have two choices for class presidency 
- the right choice, and Roddy. Roddy, who can't even outsmart two dim-witted 
rabbits from Acme Loo. Roddy who couldn't even cheat well enough to beat 
Acme last year. Well, things will change when I'm elected. For one thing, I'll 
bring a little dignity to this office." Just as he said that, a small part of the podium 
opened up, and a mechanical hand with a pie emerged. It splattered Cone with 
lemon morang and then disappeared. Cone wiped his face off and scowled at the 
crowd for a second before continuing his speech.
      Danforth had arrived backstage just in time to see that happen. "This is not 
good," he thought out loud. "At least he kept himself under control."
      Cone continued his speech, and over on the other side Roddy was making his. 
His audience was also full. As Roddy was speaking all of the lights went out. 
Back on Cone's stage, Roddy's yelling could vaguely be heard. Danforth laughed 
a little as he knew his little trick had worked. Meanwhile, Cone was just finishing 
up his speech.
      "Now, are there any questions?" One of the toonsters stuck their hands up, but 
purposely didn't stand. "Yes?"
      "What is your policy on the financial dynamic of such an institution and 
stopping the massive inflation that such an extravagant school could cause as it 
relates to the remaining educational institutions?" Buster had just made that up 
and had no idea if what he just asked made any sense.
      "Hey, what are you talking about? Huh? Why don't you ask something that 
makes some sense?" The crowd didn't look impressed after Cone's yelling. "Next 
question?" Fifi's hand went up.
      "Iz it true that Roderick paid vous to run against him so he could look better 
when he won?" Cone took a big step forward to shout his response, but as he put 
his foot down a trap door in the stage opened up and he fell in it. The crowd 
gasped as Cone pulled himself out of the pit, now with tattered clothes and dirt 
covering his body.
      "One last question!" Babs put her hand up.
      "What are you going to do about that big anvil right above you?" Cone looked 
up and saw a large anvil suspended by a thin wire hanging above him. It dropped 
right after he looked at it, flattening him. Once again, the crowd gasped and Cone 
struggled to get himself out from under it. As he pulled himself out, all of the 
lights above him began to flash and circus music began to play. Cone's eyes went 
very wide, his claws came out and he stared with rage in his eyes at the audience.
      "Uh oh," Danforth remarked from back stage. Knowing he couldn't make an 
appearance during this, he started looking around for something to pull him back 
with. All he saw was a chord on the ground, so he picked that up and twirled like 
a lasso. Right before Cone could jump off the stage and into the audience, the 
wire came out, wrapped around Cone and pulled him back, and also shocked him 
along the way. As soon as he was safely out of sight, Danforth untied him. "What 
do you think you were doing?!" Cone didn't answer - instead he was staring at 
something in the audience.
      "Acme kids..." Cone said in a low tone.
      "What?"
      "Those people right there! They're Acme kids!" He pointed to the ones in the 
black shirts. He started to get up and run after them, but Danforth tackled him 
before he could get out there.
      "Later, alright? You'll get them later. Now isn't the time. I know a little event 
that will be happening at Acme Loo soon, and it'll give you your chance. Right 
now just get out of here."

      Over on Roddy's side, the lights were still out. It had been twenty minutes and 
still nothing. "That's it! Everybody go home! This stupid thing isn't going to 
work!" Roddy shouted. The crowd mumbled as they stood up and walked out. 
Roddy just kicked some items on the stage. "How did this happen? That newbie 
must have messed it up before we started. There's no way he'll get away with 
that!"

      The seven students in the black clothes convened as the crowd dispersed.
      "That was great!" Pollard commented. Everybody shushed him.
      "Okay, let's just slip out the back and nobody will notice us," Buster 
suggested. As they started to walk out, Plucky tripped over the leg of one of the 
chairs and his hood came off. Several Perfecto supporters looked down and 
recognized him.
      "He's from Acme!" one shouted.
      "Run!" Buster yelled. The seven of them all started to run as fast as they could 
with a mob of Perfectos chasing right behind them. Cone was watching the 
proceedings still. As the hoods came down when they ran, he recognized a certain 
blue duck and Danforth immediately noticed Shirley.
      "Why that little twerp, trying to come here and screw me up again," Cone said 
to himself. "There's no way I'll let that happen!"
      "Ah, Shirley, it's just like the good old days," Danforth remarked in a low 
voice.

      The Acme Loo students barely made it off Perfecto property with their lives. 
After avoiding projectiles and people running after them, they all managed to get 
in a waiting taxi. A seven-toon taxi was uncomfortable, but they did manage to 
get away while the mob of snobs sat on the sidewalks and yelled less-than-
pleasant remarks at them.
      "That was close," Buster remarked while still trying to catch his breath.
      "Yeah, but did you see the look on his face? That was priceless!" Plucky 
shouted.
      "No, that was scary," Pollard said. "It isn't funny when somebody like that 
really starts to lose it. Who knows what he might do now? I knew I never should 
have asked to get something done about this rally."
      "Relax Pollard," Shirley told him. "No matter what we're all working together 
on this."
      "Yeah. It isn't like back in the old days when nobody would ever take a 
stand," Hamton chimed in. "After all, this affects all of us. And you saw tonight 
that we'll all do something like this to stop anything from happening." Pollard sat 
silently and thought about this - he wasn't used to any help in dealing with Cone.
      "You know, I don't think I've ever felt closer to you guys," Buster remarked.
      "How could you? Any closer and I wouldn't be able to breathe," Babs 
answered.
      "And Fifi's foot would be down my throat," Plucky chimed in. The mass of 
toons in the back did barely manage to survive the cramped car until they made it 
home later that night. At about the same time, Cone, Danforth and Margot were 
all sitting around Danforth's living room discussing strategy.
      "So your parents don't really care if we come in here past eleven at night and 
talk about school politics?" Cone asked. "Strange."
      "Hey, they know what's important," Danforth answered. "No, down to 
business. We need some way to recover from what just happened. Any thoughts?"
      "Blame it on Roddy. Say that he knew he couldn't win so he had to sabotage 
me," Cone suggested.
      "And what about the Acme Loo students being there?"
      "Roddy hired the security guards during his presidency."
      "Good thinking. Now, I have to go get something, so you two just wait here." 
Danforth then got up and walked out of the room, leaving Margot and Cone all 
alone on the couch. The female mallard placed her hand on his leg.
      "No matter what, you've still got my vote," she told him.
      "I know. Otherwise, I'd have to work really hard to get it back." The two 
looked deeply into each other's eyes for a moment and then their lips connected. 
The two kissed for a few seconds, but then the sound of approaching footsteps 
separated them as quickly as they had connected. Danforth came back in seconds 
later.
      "Well, I hope you two are getting along," Danforth said as he placed some 
papers down on the coffee table.
      "Absolutely."
      Danforth turned the television on to the Perfecto network. It was in the middle 
of Perfecto late night, a show similar to the Tonight Show. The comic on stage, a 
horse standing on two legs, was in the middle of a monologue.
      "Did you see those two election campaigns tonight? Oh man, what disasters. 
One couldn't get the lights on and the other couldn't stop from getting lit up. It 
was ridiculous and whoever wins should just be impeached the next day. I mean, 
this is ridiculous!" Cone couldn't watch this anymore - he picked up a thick book 
off the table and threw it through the screen, shattering it.
      "Calm down Cone. Now, let me tell you how we can win points with the 
voting students and get back at the Acmes at the same time. Trust me - it'll be 
great."

Chapter 9

      It was down to two days before the Acme 'morale' party. The building had 
been thrown up pretty quickly, and inside of it right now a large crew of toons 
was busy setting up, lead by the bunnies.
      "Hey Plucky can you throw me that hammer?" Buster, who was standing on a 
ladder, asked Plucky. Plucky picked it up off the table and threw it at him. Buster 
ducked just in time not to get hit. "I think you need to learn about figures of 
speech, Plucky."
      As the place was being prepared, Pollard was wandering the floor trying to 
find something useful to do. Finally noticing this, Shirley walked up to him and 
handed him a few decorations. "Like here. Go put these up."
      "Are you sure? I mean, I did kinda break that last box of them..."
      "Don't worry about that." Shirley then walked off and Pollard attempted to 
make himself useful.
      "So how does it look to everybody so far?" Buster asked, still perched atop the 
ladder. Everybody shouted back.
      "Fine!"
      "It's great to see everybody thinking for themselves," the blue rabbit thought 
out loud.

      At this same time, Danforth and Cone remained at Perfecto Prep working on 
the campaign. The election was only a week away and they were now in a dead 
heat with Roddy - ten percent each, and eighty replying with "not voting." 
Apparently the screw-ups in the past few weeks had taken their toll on both of 
them.
      "If we can just prove to a few more people that none of this stuff was our fault 
then we could pull ahead of Roddy," Danforth told Cone.
      "And you still think whatever we're doing tomorrow night is going to do 
that?"
      "Of course it will. It'll show we have leadership and initiative and the ability 
to crush any opposition to us. Plus, you'll get to take a few shots at Pollard and I 
get to pick up a fun, old rivalry. All in all, how could the evening be more fun? Its 
just too bad Margot's busy all that night, or she could have a front row seat."
      "Margot's not coming?" Cone asked in a disappointed tone. "Why didn't you 
tell me that?"
      "Sorry, I didn't know that really changed your life in some way. Anyway, just 
in case this plan isn't enough, we'll run a few more ads putting down Roddy and 
maybe try another speech or something in public - only, this time, we'll bring 
better security. After all, we don't want somebody for Roddy getting involved 
again. At least he's still trying to get over having his speech wrecked too."
      Both sides continued working for the next couple of hours. Danforth and Cone 
stepped into the same limo as they exited the school.
      "Are you just heading home Dan?" Cone asked.
      "Nah. I've got a few things I want to do first. I'll just drop you off at home." 
The long car stopped outside of Danforth's house and the red cat stepped out only 
to find Roderick and Rubella standing on his front yard. The limo sped off in a 
second, leaving just the three of them.
      "And what do you think you're doing?" Cone asked.
      "What I need to. Don't think for a minute I won't resort to anything to win. 
After all, I follow the school motto - we never lose." Roddy and Ruby then 
walked off. Cone extended one claw and just looked at them as they headed off.

      "That doesn't look like Monty's limo," Pollard commented as they saw the 
expensive car at the end of the road. Along with Shirley and Plucky he had just 
arrived in front of his house. The car pulled up and stopped next to them.
      "Hello Shirley," Danforth's voice said as the window in the back started to 
come down. Shirley said nothing. "What? No Hello? You know, the writers for 
Tiny Toons have done a nice job of keeping us apart. I wonder why that could 
be?"
      "Like what do you want Danforth?" Shirley asked. Pollard and Plucky were 
standing beside her but they said nothing.
      "I just wanted to drop by. I'm sure you know about the election. Pollard, your 
old friend Cone has a great shot at winning, you know. And all of you are going 
to help him."
      "Hey. Does Roddy know you're helping the competition?" Plucky asked.
      "No. But you can go right ahead and tell him. I'm sure coming from an Acme 
student that'll mean a lot. But, I'm really just here to talk to Shirley. Maybe I 
should talk about that little get together all your students are having this Friday. 
I'm betting your going with Plucky, aren't you? Or maybe you'll go with your old 
boyfriend, Pollard."
      "He was never my boyfriend!" Shirley protested. Pollard nodded in 
agreement.
      "Sure. Well, in your mind. I bet as far as he was concerned you were dating. 
And you did live together, didn't you?" Plucky, having not heard about this 
before, looked stunned when he heard that.
      "He had to! His family lost their house!"
      "Whatever. If you can balance an old flame and a new one, more power to 
you. See you later Shirley." The window then closed and the limo sped away. 
Shirley stomped into Pollard's house ahead of the other two. Before Pollard could 
started walking after her, Plucky stopped her.
      "So you two really lived together?" he asked in disbelief.
      "She lived across the street. Her family offered. And, the rest of what he said 
wasn't true. You do know that right?"
      "Yeah. And you know me and Shirley are going to that dance together, right?"
      "Of course. Well, at least that's settled. Now we should try and calm Shirley 
down a little." Plucky walked in and Pollard followed behind. Well he tried not to 
show it, he was now seriously worried about what Cone and Danforth might be up 
to.

      Friday night arrived. As they always did before such occasions, Shirley, Babs 
and Fifi were preparing to go together. Shirley looked noticeably less excited 
about going than the other two.
      "Lighten up Shirley," Babs remarked as she looked at the Loon's down turned 
faced.
      "Oui. Vous are going to have a great time. Zose horrible students from 
Perfecto won't be able to wreck zis night," Fifi added. Shirley shrugged and 
continued to put lipstick on the end of her beak. Just as she finished doing this, 
Shirley's doorbell rang and the three ran to the door, straightening up their dresses 
as they headed for it. Shirley reached out and opened the door to find Buster, 
Plucky and Hamton dressed rather casually.
      "Boy, you guys are kinda dressed up for this aren't you?" Buster asked as he 
looked at the three formally attired ladies.
      "Yeah, I mean this isn't like the prom or something," Plucky said. The three 
girls said nothing - they just frowned, left the room for a second, and returned 
wearing their normal clothes.
      "I wish we would have known that three hours ago," Babs said as they came 
back. The other two nodded in agreement.

      The new addition to Acme Loo had lights that could be seen from a good 
distance away. Even the outside looked magnificent - there were spotlights, a red 
carpet and several fountains on the path up to the door. The scene in the door was 
just as breathtaking, but in a much different way. The speakers were huge, the 
dance floor was lighting up and there were six small openings in the ground with 
small signs next to them reading," Warning: Fireworks." It was a great deal bigger 
than the school gym they were used to using for such events.
      As they walked in, the three girls immediately noticed that ever other female 
in the room was wearing more formal clothes. Each one looked at their dates 
accusingly, and each boy tried to hide his face.
      "Hey guys!" Pollard said as he ran up. "Does it look like you hoped it would? 
Maybe I should have sprung for a bigger building."
      "No, it's great Pollard," Buster assured him. At that moment, a song was 
starting. Hamton and Fifi along with Buster and Babs went to the dance floor. 
Plucky started to head that way but Shirley didn't follow.
      "Plucky, I'll catch up with you in a second," Shirley told him. She then pulled 
Pollard off to the side. "Any sign of those two cosmic disasters yet?"
      "Not so far, and I've been watching. We've got Arnold waiting at the door to 
keep them out. I'll let you know if I see anything." Shirley nodded and then ran 
out to the dance floor to be with Plucky, leaving Pollard watching from the 
corner.
      "I suppose it doesn't help that every girl I know at this school already has a 
boyfriend," Pollard thought to himself as he watched the couples dance. Several 
more dances passed, and Pollard didn't head out onto the floor he had paid for 
once. He spent most of his time talking to students who were taking a break from 
dancing. After about an hour, Hamton and Fifi both stopped. She went off to get a 
drink while Hamton walked over to Pollard.
      "Gee Pollard, don't you think you should do something with this place? You 
probably won't get another chance to," Hamton pointed out.
      "And who am I supposed to dance with? Hamton, at least you found Fifi. I 
would love to dance with Shirley but I can't exactly do that."
      "Well... why not?"
      "I don't want Plucky to start thinking I'm trying to take his girlfriend or 
something." Before Hamton could respond, Fifi walked up behind him and 
handed him a drink.
      "Are vous going to be ready for ze next song?" she asked. Hamton nodded 
yes. As one song ended, a voice came on over the speakers.
      "Hey, this next song is a big ****in dance song, so everybody get up," 
Fowlmouth said over the speakers. "Seriously, even if you're some loser who's 
been sitting in the corner all night without a date, get up and dance. Arnold, I 
think you can take one song off from guarding the door. Whoever these **** 
losers are they aren't gonna show up." Arnold pulled away from the door and 
stepped onto the floor. Pollard wasn't going to get up until Shirley ran over to the 
corner and dragged him onto the floor. The song started. As it started, the floor 
began to flash and everybody was moving, even Pollard although it was very 
awkward.
      Nobody was now paying any attention to the door. Without being seen, Cone 
and Danforth stepped in. Danforth was all ready to make some comment about the 
lousy dance conditions the poor school had, but his jaw hit the floor when he saw 
the elaborate setup. Cone didn't look impressed. They started to walk in, and just 
as they did the fireworks began firing off. Danforth was absolutely stunned.
      "So that stupid rich duck paid for a dance hall. Who cares? Why don't we just 
do what we came here to do," Cone said. He then started to approach the dance 
floor, not noticing the fireworks dispenser below him. He stepped over it at 
completely the wrong time and was blasted backwards. Arnold looked over and 
saw the two that weren't on the floor. Not recognizing them, he walked right up to 
them.
      "Girly men! Get on the dance floor or Arnold will have to make you!" The 
two didn't move, so Arnold picked them both up and threw them into the middle 
of the dancing crowd. The two, in their efforts to get around the large group 
dancers, were moving in a way that resembled the high-energy dancing going on 
around them. Shirley looked over to her left and saw the two. She pushed through 
a few people and got over to Pollard.
      "Look who's here," she said as she pointed to Danforth and Cone.
      "Oh great. So, what do we do?"
      "Wait - I've got an idea," Shirley whispered. She then stepped away for a 
second and came back with a camera in her hand. More specifically, an Acme 
self-developing camera. 
      "What are we going to do with that? Try to blind them with the flash?"
      "No, Pollard. They're dancing at an Acme Loo party - if that doesn't ruin their 
campaign at Perfecto nothing will." Just as Shirley lifted up the camera to take the 
shot, Plucky came over and pulled her to an open spot. She dropped the camera 
on the floor as she was being taken away. Pollard picked it up off the floor and 
took the shot of Cone at the Acme Loo party, making sure that you could even see 
Buster and Babs in the background. Unfortunately, Danforth didn't make it into 
the shot. When the picture finished developing, he quickly placed it in his pocket 
and nervously slipped into the middle of the dance floor as if Danforth or Cone 
would have seen him with it.
      "You know something?" Danforth shouted, trying to be heard over the noise. 
"Crashing the Acme party isn't going nearly as well as I thought it would." Cone 
replied with a nod of agreement, and both started to try and push their way out of 
the crowd, only to be pulled back into it when they tried to move. This continued 
on until the song ended. The second the music stopped, the two Perfectos dashed 
for the door.
      "I guess they weren't enjoying the party," Babs remarked as she saw them 
leave.
      "Did you..." Shirley started as she walked up to Pollard after the dance. He 
pulled the picture out of his pocket and showed it to her. Cone and Danforth were 
right there, dancing in the middle of a group of Acme Loo students, and it even 
appeared as if they were smiling. "Perfect! Just make sure nothing happens to it er 
some junk, okay?"
      "What, you want me to hang on to this? But what if I lose it or something?"
      "Just try not to. I totally don't think you will." Pollard slid it back in his pocket 
and returned to the back corner and the music started up again. Shirley looked 
over at him and looked with a little bit of pity at her childhood friend. After all, 
without him this dance wouldn't have happened.
      "Plucky, would you mind if I like, danced with Pollard for this one?"
      "What? Why? Is there something wrong with how I'm dancing? Please don't 
ditch me, Shirl - I'll dance better, I promise!"
      "No, Plucky. It's just that, you know, he came here by himself and well, he 
should have at least a little fun," she explained.
      "Fine," Plucky conceded. He walked over to the food table as Shirley headed 
over to Pollard and extended a hand to him.
      "Are you sure this is alright with Plucky?" he asked. He then regretted asking 
- he was risking a moment he had dreamt about for three years.
      "Like it's fine," Shirley replied. The two ran out to the dance floor and a very 
slow song started. They kept the dance simple - basically, they were just swaying 
back and forth with the song.
      "I've been waiting for an event like this since we all left Tooningwood," he 
told her.
      "Really? It doesn't look like you're having fun."
      "Oh, I am. It's just I'm trying to take it all in. I can't stop thinking about 
everything that's been happening lately and how every second in Acme Acres is 
better than I could've hoped for." He then paused for a second. "Oh, sorry. I really 
didn't mean to sound all dramatic or something. You know, this is the first school 
dance of any sort I've ever been to."
      "Really? You don't have them back where you live now?"
      "They do, but there isn't anybody there I want to go with. Sure, there's this girl 
the writers always want to force me to go with, but I really don't like her all that 
much. She's kinda weird, and not in a good way. Of course, you wouldn't know 
anything about that." The dance seemed to last forever, but when it finally did end 
Pollard could barely pull himself away from Shirley. When he finally managed to, 
he decided it was time to go.
      "Look, Shirley, I hope everybody has a lot of fun for the rest of the night. I 
think I've done what I needed to do, so I'll be heading home now."
      "You sure?"
      "Yeah. I'll talk to you tomorrow or something. See ya." Pollard then slowly 
walked out making sure to remember exactly what this scene was like. There was 
nothing like this back where he lived. Shirley returned to dancing with Plucky and 
the rest of the night went on uneventfully.

Chapter 10

      Monday came and both Danforth and Cone came in and said nothing. Both of 
them still looked very angry, although nobody else there knew why. Finally, after 
seeing Cone in the hall, Margot walked right up to him and started talking.
      "Listen, what is wrong with you today? You look like you want to rip into 
somebody," she commented.
      "So does Danforth."
      "Oh right. Him. Well, what's bothering you? Nothing really happened with the 
election over the weekend."
      "It's nothing I want to talk about. Trust me, I'll get over it. When I do, you'll 
be the first girl I call. Which reminds me, we need a little time away from Danny 
boy. What do you think about you coming over to my place tonight?"
      "Sure. Whatever you say." Margot then walked off, leaving Cone feeling at 
least a little better. However, this good feeling disappeared pretty quickly when he 
saw a host of new Roddy posters and banners everywhere. With five days left he 
needed some way to separate himself from the rat, and this wasn't helping. At 
least Roddy had the same problem.
      "So have you come up with anything?" Roddy asked Danforth as the two 
found each other in the hall.
      "I've got nothing, Roddy. Sorry, I guess my brain's just run out since last year. 
This is why I told you I couldn't be your manager this time around. Why didn't 
you just pay a pro like you wanted to?"
      "It's against school rules, and they wanted more than it was worth to pay to 
break that rule."
      "This school has rules? Hm. News to me."
      "Yeah. Anyway, I guess I'll have to come up with something." Roddy then 
started walking to class while Danforth headed for the video editing room - his 
next idea to make Roddy look stupid had just come to him.

      Lunchtime rolled around and in the Perfecto Prep cafeteria, which was 
actually a very classy dinning hall with waiters and candle light, Cone stood up on 
the stage at the front of the room. He had a television wheeled up there next to 
him.
      "Just so those of you not in the hall can see this," he said into a microphone, 
interrupting everybody's eating," I need to make sure you all remembers Roddy's 
track record as class president." He then placed a tape in and showed clips from 
several Tiny Toons episodes where both Roddy and Rubella failed against the 
rabbits. He started with the Acme Bowl, then moved onto Butt out, and Miniature 
Goof. Each was an example of Roddy being outdone by the rabbits, which at 
Perfecto Prep was unbelievable. Finally, the taped stopped and Roddy was 
fuming. "This has been a reminder from your friendly neighborhood future class 
president. Enjoy your lunch." Cone then jumped down off stage and exited the 
cafeteria.
      "Everything that newbie does it using old Tiny Toons episodes against me," 
Roddy said to Ruby. "Is that all he can do?"
      "Yeah, but it seems to work. Every time he does you go down a little and he 
goes up."
      "Well, maybe we'll just have to use his show against him."
      "And how are we gonna do that? We've never even seen it."
      "No, but I know how we can find out."

      The end of the school day came, and as usual the Acme Loo students were all 
walking out. Pollard was halfway home as he walked alone when he noticed a 
white limo barreling down the street. He stopped in his tracks and waited for it, 
assuming it had something to do with him in one way or another. It stopped right 
next to him, a door opened, and a hand pulled him inside. Once inside Pollard saw 
Roderick Rat sitting before him.
      "What is it Roderick?" he asked nervously. Roddy snapped his fingers and the 
car started to drive again.
      "I'll make this easy on you - you are the only person here who knows anything 
about Cone and what I could use to stop him in the election. Just give me a copy 
of one of the episodes where I could find something useful and that'll be it."
      "Well, I only have one copy of an episode... hm, sorry I can't give you that. 
Maybe there's something else I have..."
      "It'd better be something I can actually use or you're in trouble, duck." Pollard 
started fumbling around in his pockets for a second and he pulled out the picture.
      "Will this work?" he asked. Roddy grabbed it out of Pollard's hands and 
looked at it. He then started laughing.
      "Oh, this is just what I need. Nobody will want to vote for him after seeing 
him associating with Acme Losers. Isn't it strange that my campaign will owe 
something to someone like you?"
      "Yeah. Can I please get out of this car now?"
      "Go right ahead."
      As the limo sped around a corner, Pollard was pushed out of the car and he 
tumbled into a few garbage cans. He pulled himself out of the garbage cans, 
brushed himself off and started to walk home.

      Later that evening, Cone's visitor arrived. Margot walked in and sat down next 
to him on the couch in his massive living room.
      "Finally, some time without Danforth," Cone remarked. "I bet that's a relief 
for you, too."
      "You bet. Danforth's great, but once he starts out on something like this he 
just isn't fun anymore," Margot explained.
      "Well, don't worry - I'm still fun." Cone wrapped an arm around her. He then 
pressed his lips up against hers. It lasted for a few seconds before he heard the 
phone ring. He picked up the receiver and stated, "Whoever you are, you are so 
dead."
      "Cone, it's Danforth. Listen, we've got a few things to work out about the 
election so I need you to get down to the school now.
      "Now now. I'm busy. Call me later." He then threw down the receiver and 
continued what he was doing.

      "You gave Roddy the picture?!" Shirley exclaimed as Pollard explained what 
had happened over the phone.
      "It just kinda happened - look, he's gonna do exactly what we going to anyway 
with it, so I don't think it should be a big deal. Anyway, can you hang on for a 
second - I've got a call on the other line." He then switched lines. "Hello?"
      "Hello son. It's your father."
      "Oh hi. I haven't heard from you since I got here. How's everything back 
there?"
      "Well, everybody's excited about starting out fourth season just as soon as you 
get back," he told Pollard. "Your schedule hasn't changed, has it?"
      "No."
      "Alright then. Just tell the limo driver when you need to go back home. 
Remember, you have to be back before the date we talked about or you may not 
be able to get back."
      "Why not?"
      "We can talk about that later. So, how's Acme Acres. Better than you thought 
it would be?"
      "Much better. Actually, I have Shirley on the other line right now so can you 
call back later?"
      "Oh, sure son. Take care. Bye."
      "Bye." He then changed back to Shirley's line. "That was my dad. He was just 
checking how I was doing and everything."
      "Well, maybe next time he calls you can see if he could get you one of those 
other episode er something," Shirley suggested.
      "I'll look into that. Anyway, I have to go now so I'll talk to you later, alright?"
      "Okay. See ya Pollard."

      Nothing more happened on the election front until Thursday morning. 
Danforth walked into school to find a large group of students heading for the 
auditorium.
      "Hey, what's going on?" he asked on passing by.
      "Roddy's called some press conference. He says that he was some proof that 
Cone is associating with Acme Loo kids," the student answered. Danforth pushed 
this students out of the way along with several others as he started a mad dash to 
the auditorium. As he ran in, Roddy noticed him from the stage and motioned him 
up with his hand. Danforth reluctantly walked up and stood next to Roddy along 
with others supporting his campaign. Finally, after the room had filled Roddy 
approached the mic.
      "I'm glad you all came. I wanted to call this at the last minute so the other 
campaign wouldn't have a chance to make up some excuse for this," Roddy 
explained. He placed the photograph on a projector. The image of Cone in a group 
of Acme students was now being projected before hundreds of Perfecto students. 
"This was handed over by a star of another cartoon - one that works with Cone all 
the time. If anybody knows that this guy shouldn't be in charge of a school, it's the 
guy I got this picture from."
      Cone was sitting in the back row listening to all of this. "Pollard, that little..." 
he started to mutter to himself. Just then Margot removed the person in the seat 
next to him and sat down there.
      "Now this can't be as bad as Roddy is making it out to be," she told him. 
Roddy continued talking about the picture and how it meant that Cone couldn't be 
trusted.
      "Now I ask you - do you really want somebody who goes to Acme Loo school 
dances running the greatest school in the world?"
      "No!" the whole room shouted. Roddy left the stage knowing that he had 
finally found the advantage he had been searching for all along.
      Cone's claws were now out and his face was redder than usual. He started to 
breathe heavily and his face displayed obvious anger. The red cat stood up and 
stormed out of the room before the rest of the students left. He ran through the 
halls tearing down every Roderick Rat poster and flyer that he could find. He also 
kicked a few lockers for good measure. As he was in the middle of pummeling 
one locker, Danforth walked up behind him.
      "Calm down already! We can't just give up now. People should get over this 
by tomorrow night and you'll still have a chance. We'll still go to campaign 
headquarters at your place and we'll still act like you can win."
      "Maybe I could win if my campaign manager wasn't always hanging around 
with the other side all the time!" Cone shouted.
      "Hey! Calm down. It isn't my fault that Roddy got a hold of that picture. If 
anything it's because of those two old pains at Acme Loo - Pollard and Shirley. 
They are even more irritating now then they were three years ago. Now, try not to 
make a complete fool of yourself. Just stay calm and I'll see you tomorrow at 
campaign HQ." Danforth then headed off while Cone tried to retrain himself.
      "One thing's for sure - if I lose now, Pollard is going to pay for it."

Chapter 11

      It was now Friday night and Cone's house was packed. There were several 
people there that he had never even seen around the school, and, sitting near the 
back of the room, there were several men in dark suits - the same ones that had 
been at the rally the week before.
      "Gentlemen," Danforth said as he walked by them. They all nodded and he 
kept walking. Cone nervously sat down in a chair in the corner watching the 
Perfecto Television Network alone with the up-to-date results flashing by. As 
music and laughter was going on all around the room, Cone couldn't stop staring 
at the television screen was an almost frightening look in his eyes.
      "How are we doing?" Danforth asked as he walked up next to him.
      "We're getting killed," Cone answered. "If we fall any further behind, that's 
it."
      "Well, if that happens you let me know. Right now, I'm going to go mingle 
with your guests. Remember, the ones you're supposed to be greeting and making 
small talk with?" Danforth got up but Cone remained glued to the television 
screen just waiting for something to happen. Cone didn't notice when Danforth 
walked out the front door and got in a limo.
 
      "It's about time you showed up. We're just about to put this loser away," 
Roddy said as he opened the door and saw Danforth standing before him. "What 
took you so long?"
      "The trouble my driver had finding a place to park with all these cars here was 
unbelievable. Of course, he isn't the best driver, either." Danforth stepped in and 
saw the room full of students and faculty, all of them looking very formal and all 
seeming to be having a good time. "So, how much longer will it be until this is 
over?"
      "Give it ten more minutes, and then we should have won. I should probably 
thank that fat duck for helping me out, but I won't."
      The time started to tick away. Danforth forced a smile on his face as he 
watched the results passing on the giant screen that had been set up in Roddy's 
house, but inside he was feeling very nervous. He knew that any second now it 
would be official - he had failed. Finally, the last few votes needed were 
calculated and the screen flashed with a bright red sign declaring Roddy the 
winner. Confetti began to fall inside the rat's house, and Danforth did everything 
he could to stop from falling to his knees.
      Back at Cone's place, the losing party of the election picked up the television 
set and smashed it on the ground. His guests started to walk out on him, and he 
didn't try and stop them. A few hung around and started eating the remainder of 
the food, and the men in dark suits stayed at the back.
      "I knew you couldn't lose," Danforth told Roddy. "I'll be there to help your 
third straight presidency be even better than the last two. But, for right now, I'm 
just going to step out and avoid all the hassle. You've got people to accept 
congratulations from."
      "Alright. I'll see you Monday when I officially take over the school once 
again." Danforth slipped out the front door and started on his way back to Cone's 
place.
      "I'm sorry you lost," Margot said as she put her arm around his shoulders. 
"You know I won't hold that against you." She then started to move a little closer 
to him and it looked as if they started to kiss again.
      Danforth was now outside. The men in dark suits were waiting for him on the 
porch now as he approached the house. "I'm sorry," he said to them. "I had no 
idea we were backing such a complete idiot. I'm about to go tell him where he has 
to go from here. I'll do what I can with Roddy in charge again. Just remember - 
this isn't my fault. Cone blew it himself." The men in the suits said nothing - they 
simply walked away. Danforth stormed in the front door only to see Margot and 
Cone kissing on the couch.
      "What are you doing?!" he shouted as he looked at them. Cone stepped away 
from her and turned to Danforth.
      "Being comforted in my hour of defeat. What else is going to make me feel 
better about this right now?"
      "You know, I had some doubts about how I would react to what I'm about to 
do, but now I know I'm going to enjoy it." He then walked right up to Cone and 
started him straight in the eye. "I hope you didn't get too used to Perfecto or this 
house or pretending to be rich, because as of tomorrow it's all gone."
      "What are you talking about?"
      "I mean, the house is being taken back. The car is being taken back. 
Everything is going back to those who paid for them. The backers that are 
responsible for you being here have no more use for you now that you've failed."
      "Backers? Dan, you're not making any sense."
      "Let me explain some reality to you. Remember those men in the dark suits? 
They are financial backers for the Perfecto school presidency campaign that I ran 
for you. They told me to find somebody to come and run against Roddy and they 
would pay for everything. A house, transportation, a car. Everything. They told 
me to make sure it was somebody that could win but that we could control from a 
distance. I couldn't run myself because if I lost I would have just fallen out with 
the winner, so that's where you came in. If you won, it would be just like I was in 
control. If you lost, then no harm done to me. The only reason we had you here 
was to win an election, and you couldn't do that so tomorrow you get yourself out 
of this house and you get back to your stupid little other cartoon in your shack in 
the mountains. As for me, I need to start working on some things for the winner." 
Danforth then turned to Margot. "And as for you, you'd better make this up to me 
really fast or you just lost the richest boyfriend you'll ever find." Danforth then 
stormed back out of the house and Margot chased after him.
      Cone's hands started to shake. His claws extended further than ever before. 
His eyes and limbs started to twitch. He then picked up a chair and threw it 
through a window and he screamed at the top of his lungs.
      "How could I let him do that to me?!!" he shouted to nobody. "All this time he 
was just using me to win the election for him, and then Pollard had to screw this 
up to just like everything else. Neither one is going to get away with this." He 
then continued smashing objects in the room.

      "Shirley," Pollard shouted as he ran in her front door. It was late but he felt he 
needed to tell her this now. "I just saw on TV that Cone lost by a landslide"
      "Like that's good, isn't it?"
      "Yeah. I mean, it is what we wanted, but I’ve been thinking. We don’t really 
know how Cone is going to take losing, but if what I’ve seen is a good 
example…” just as he said this they heard brakes squealing at the end of the 
street. Both Shirley and Pollard ran outside to see what was causing it only to 
discover an old, beat up car with a familiar driver speeding down the street, with 
one side of the car up on the sidewalk. The two ran back inside and slammed the 
door.
      "This can't be good. Especially since Cone doesn't have a driver's license," 
Pollard pointed out. They both crept to the window and saw that the car had 
cleared the corner. "I guess he doesn't know where we live. That's a plus."
      "So like what would you normally do now back on your show?"
      "Well, back on my show, some of the secondary characters would show up 
and we'd come up with some way to slow Cone down just enough so he gives up 
and goes home. Here, I don't know what we could do." Shirley stopped and 
thought for a second. She then ran over to the phone and made a few calls.

      "So did you want to tell us what this is about or should we just stand here all 
night and guess?" Plucky asked, standing along with four other toons outside 
Shirley's front door. Each one of them was still wearing what they had gone to 
sleep in.
      "We might have a small problem with a certain angry character from another 
show, and well, I have no idea what to do about it," Pollard explained.
      "Like what kind of problem?" Plucky asked. Just as he said this, a loud sound 
of breaking glass could be heard. The seven of them ran towards the sound and 
several minutes later came across the sight of a warehouse with several of the 
windows smashed out and some writing on the side that was difficult to read by 
the glow of the street light. They then all looked down the street and saw that 
several mail boxes, garbage cans and anything else in the way had been run down. 
Every light on the street was on and most of the front lawns had residents 
examining the destruction and trying to figure out what had just happened.
      "Oh this isn't good," Pollard remarked. He then faced the others. "I'm really 
sorry. I should have known he was going to do this before I ever got involved in 
him losing the election."
      "We can deal with that later," Buster answered. "Right now I think we need to 
find this guy. We'll split up into groups - Shirley, you go with Pollard and Plucky. 
The rest of you, come with me." The seven split up and headed in opposite 
directions. Both sides found a trail where Cone had been in each direction they 
traveled - form the broken windows to the overturned lawn decorations and the 
cowering pets, it was obvious that he had been through there.
      After several minutes of trying to follow the trail that had been left, the group 
of ducks passed by an alley and all three picked up a familiar voice.
      "Furrball, Furrball, Furrball," Cone's voice said from in the dark alley. "Now 
really, you would think they could give a cat a better part than this on a TV show. 
I mean, they don't let you talk or really do anything. They don't even give you a 
house! What kind of life is that for a toon cat? I have a house, a staring role and 
everything else." The three slowly started walking down the alley and Cone 
spotted them. He jumped up and the claws on his feet just barely allowed him to 
cling to the side of the walls.
      "Cone! What are you doing?" Pollard yelled. Cone ignored him and made his 
way up the rest of the wall, onto the roof and disappeared as quickly as they had 
found him. The three ran out of the alley and continued their pursuit.

      "Oh great!" Buster exclaimed as they surveyed another example of Cone's 
damage - this was to his home. Buster found some cement had been poured down 
his rabbit hole. Not enough to do anything, really, but looking down he saw some 
of it had hardened to his floor. There was also the same smudged writing left on 
his mailbox as they had seen on the warehouse.

      "Don't you normally find him by now and stop whatever he's doing back on 
your show?" Plucky asked as the group continued to trek around Acme Acres.
      "I'm not used to tracking him down in the dark in a place I don't entirely know 
my way around. At least back where I'm from he just has a few usual spots I can 
check." The three passed by Weenie Burger, which was still open even at this late 
hour. The window had the smudged writing on it, too.
      "What does that say?" Plucky asked as he examined it.
      "I've never figured that out, but I see that writing more times than I can count 
everyday back home," Pollard answered. They looked inside and saw that food 
had been thrown all over the floor and there was ketchup and mustard 
everywhere.
      "At least he did Acme Acres one service," Plucky commented. "He saved 
somebody from having to eat that food."

      Buster's party noticed an old car slammed up against a telephone pole. The 
whole group walked up and examined it as best they could considering how dark 
it was. In the back seat sat a pile of posters for the Perfecto election that had never 
been put up.
      "I think we can guess whose car this was," Buster remarked as they looked it 
over. Clearly there was nobody inside. In the immediate area around them there 
was a now familiar path of destruction - broken windows, turned over garbage 
cans and debris scattering the road. It seemed that every house on the street had 
been hit.

      Shirley's group found themselves at the end of one trail of destruction left 
behind by Cone, which led them to an intersection. In each direction there was 
some evidence that the rampaging cat had been there.
      "So... where do we go from here?" Plucky asked.
      "Well, whatever we do we don't want to split up. If we do that there is no way 
this is ever going to work. I guess we just choose a direction and go with it." Just 
as he finished saying this, a loud thud was heard coming from up ahead.
      "I choose that direction," Plucky stated. The three then started running 
towards it. After a minute, they realized exactly where they were running to - 
Acme Loo. The three approached the school and saw the door was hanging wide 
open.
      "No, not even he would break into there," Pollard remarked. He took a deep 
breath and started to walk dark for the entrance with his two companions. The 
inside of the school was eerily and silent. The three of them could hear every step 
they took very clearly. As they slowly passed an intersection in the hall, they all 
heard a sound and stopped frozen in their tracks. The sound of loud footsteps and 
mumbling. It was coming from a stairwell down the hall, the one that lead into the 
basement of the school. Shirley and Pollard started heading for it, but Plucky 
didn't.
      "Um... you guys go ahead without me and I'll keep watch here, alright?" 
Plucky said.
      "Like come on, Plucky. Hurry up already!" Plucky didn't move. "Fine, we'll 
go one without you." The other two ran for the basement as the green duck stood 
in the middle of the hall and watched.
      The lights in the basement were already on as Shirley and Pollard entered. 
They could hear a noise coming from up ahead. The two ran just in time to see 
Cone turning a corner. They continued their pursuit, but Cone was an exceedingly 
fast runner. Finally, after turning a few corners, they had lost him and both found 
themselves standing in a large opening with pipes surrounding them.
      "Oh... great..." Pollard forced out as he tried to catch his breath. "You alright... 
Shirley... ?"
      "I guess. You?"
      "As much as I could be."
      "Good." She then walked up right next to him. "You know Pollard, you're 
doing great right now. I can't see why Daffy would've ever thought that you 
wouldn't make a good protégé." Shirley then gasped and realized what she had 
just said.
      "What was that?" Shirley stayed silent. "Shirley, what about Daffy?" Shirley 
hesitated for another second, but then finally she started talking.
      "I didn't really want to tell you this, but Buster and Babs told me why Daffy 
was being such a total jerk to you before. You see, when you were auditioning 
Daffy like called Buster and Babs and told them that you weren't really what he 
was looking for, even though they wanted you on the show." Pollard stopped and 
thought this over for a second.
      "Well, at least that explains something..."
      "You're not like mad or anything?"
      "Was I mad at Buster and Babs when I thought they turned me down for Tiny 
Toons? No. Listen, they can make whatever decision they want. This is just kind 
of a surprise..." just as he said this, they heard footsteps. They looked ahead and 
saw Cone standing at the end of the clearing, near a large pipe. There was an 
opening on the bottom and a handle on the side.
      "I hate to interrupt your touching moment," Cone said," but this is my 
moment, remember? This is where I go crazy and rip your stupid little cartoon 
town apart. Then, I go work on the Perfectos. So, tell me Pollard, did it feel good 
wrecking my campaign with your stupid little picture?" Pollard didn't answer. 
"Naturally - you never answer, do you? Never once have you stood up for 
yourself. You just sit there quietly and hope the problem goes away, don't you? 
That's just one of the things I can't stand about you."
      Pollard still stood still and silent, but Shirley started to take a step forward. As 
she did, Cone stuck his hand on the lever on the side. "I wouldn't move if I were 
you. If I pull this a huge wall of water will come forward, and you wouldn't want 
that would you?" Shirley stepped back, but Cone didn't take his hand off the lever. 
"Oh, why not? I'm a jerk anyway!"
      He then pulled down the lever and water started gushing out very quickly, 
forming a small, fast moving wall. Shirley and Pollard both started to run. Both of 
them made it around the first couple of turns, but at the third one things changed. 
Shirley was still running fine, but as he cleared the corner, Pollard slipped a little. 
The wall of water caught up to him and started pushing him before he could get 
up again. It forced him at a great speed right into a pipe that sticking out of the 
wall. The right side of his body was slammed right into the steel pipe, and he fell 
right to the ground. Shirley stopped and saw him lying in the shallow pool on the 
ground, knocked out. She stopped and started heading back for him. The wall of 
water seemed to stop as she made her way back through the pool of water that 
was a little past her knees. She knelt down at lifted up his head.
      "Pollard! Are you alright?!" she yelled as she looked down at his unconscious 
body. His right leg seemed to be twisted around badly and his head has a large 
bump on the top. She picked him up and walked as fast as she could out of the 
basement.
      Back out of the basement, Plucky was still waiting in the hall. He saw a figure 
run out of a door down the street, running very quickly. As it passed by, Plucky 
stuck his foot out. The figure tripped over it and rolled into a locker. It was Cone. 
Just as Plucky started to walk over to him, Shirley appeared out of the main 
basement entrance carrying Pollard. She gently placed him down on the ground. 
She then looked over and saw Cone getting up.
      "I'm going to call the doctor," Shirley told Plucky as she started to run for a 
phone. Plucky turned towards Cone. As he started walking over, Cone stood up. 
He looked at him for a second and then he started running down the hall. Plucky 
followed after him as fast as she could. The chase led them right out the front 
door of the school. Cone glanced back as he ran out the doors of Acme Loo and 
didn't see Plucky behind him, and for a moment he thought he was safe. Then he 
looked forward again and saw Danforth and a group of men in black suits parked 
out front. Cone stopped in his tracks.
      "Cone, we need to make a deal," Danforth said. "Either you call somebody 
and leave for your own little cartoon right now or we'll take you there." Cone 
pulled a cellular phone out of his pocket and pressed a button. He then put it right 
back in.
      "They're on their way." A few seconds later, a small car pulled up in the 
parking lot and Cone got in the back seat. The vehicle sped off towards the 
passage out of Acme Acres. Just as that car left the parking lot, an ambulance 
pulled in. Out of the back three people ran out and came back within seconds 
carrying Pollard, whose eyes were now open although they looked a little glazed 
over. Shirley and Plucky walked out close behind. Danforth just stared at what 
was going on and just for a second actually showed a little concern on his face.
      "Not that I should care what's going on with an Acme student," Danforth 
said," but is he alright?"
      "We don't know yet," Shirley answered.
      "He should be okay," one of the people placing him in the ambulance assured 
them. "It's nothing too serious."
      They slammed the doors on the back and the ambulance pulled away. Shirley 
and Plucky started to head off to find a way to the hospital themselves when 
Danforth stood in their way.
      "Now isn't the best time I can see, so I'll talk to you later, Loon," Danforth 
said. He then entered his limo and was driven away.

Chapter 12

      Pollard slowly opened his eyes with his head still spinning. He could still feel 
some pain in both his right leg and arm. Finally, his eyes opened up completely 
and he saw Shirley, Plucky, Buster, Babs, Hamton and Fifi all standing around. 
He then looked to his side and saw his leg was in a cast and was hanging in a 
sling attached to the ceiling, and his arm had a bandage wrapped around it.
      "How are vous feeling?" Fifi asked him.
      "Well... considering my leg is broken, my arm is hurt, and I still can't really 
remember most of last night - except for the slamming into a pipe - I'm as good as 
I could be."
      "Cone's like gone," Shirley told him.
      "What?"
      "Danforth. He made him get out of Acme Acres." Pollard let out the longest 
sigh of relief they had ever heard.
      "Now I won't have to deal with him until I'm back on my own turf then... and, 
it'll give me a chance to heal a little... say, he didn't cause too much damage 
before he left, did he?" Everybody just exchanged glances.
      "Let's just say there's a little cleaning up to do," Babs told him. Pollard's face 
turned down a little.
      "Sorry... I guess it's kinda my fault that he did what he did," Pollard said.
      "No it isn't. You didn't make him do any of that stuff," Buster told him. Just 
then, the door opened and Elmyra, dressed as a nurse, walked in wheeling a tray 
with food on it.
      "Time for your breakfast cute ducky head," she said as she wheeled up the 
food tray.
      "And here I thought the hospital would heal my injuries and not give me more 
of them," he remarked as he saw Elmyra.
      "Well, we'll leave you alone to try and force down this awful food," Babs said. 
The six left the room and assembled in the hall.
      "I think we should do something to try and cheer him up a little," Buster 
suggested.
      "How about getting him a different nurse?" Plucky suggested.
      "Like I've totally got it," Shirley said. "He has been saying that he wants a 
copy of some of the episodes of his show besides the first one but can't find one. 
What if we could like get him one of those?" Everybody seemed to agree with this 
idea.
      "So, where do we start on that?" Buster asked.

      Late that afternoon, Shirley and Fifi huddled around a computer screen at the 
Loon's house. They tried searching for The Last Thing Expected.
      "Somebody on here has totally got to know where we can get some of these 
episodes," Shirley remarked. They sat there and stared at the screen as the search 
was being performed. A Gogo icon appeared as it was searching with one hand 
spinning around. After several minutes of waiting, the icon had become hypnotic 
and left Shirley and Fifi in a trance that was only broken when the icon 
disappeared and the results appeared. The first page on the list seemed almost 
perfect - "The Last Thing Expected - Complete Cartoon Information" was the 
name of it. Shirley clicked on it and the two both started reading the long page of 
information.
      The first paragraph on the page read as follows: "The Last Thing Expected - a 
Promising Cartoon released only in Canada that unfortunately was pulled from 
the airwaves after only one episode."  The two looked at each other in disbelief. 
They read the rest of the page that described the main characters - Pollard, Cone, 
Pollard's parents, and several secondary characters. Finally, they reached the last 
paragraph. "Somehow, after only one episode, this show managed to gain 
something of a fan base and there are a few sites around the Internet where you 
can find material on it. There is a fan fiction sight that seems to be keeping these 
characters going even if the show only lasted a very short time."
      "Zis cannot be right!" Fifi exclaimed as they finished reading. "He talked 
about ze other episodes and filming zem and..."
      "No, Fifi. It makes total sense," Shirley said. "The fanfic. They don't know 
that there show has been cancelled, so they just keep thinking what they are doing 
is new episodes. They probably get the fanfic, think it's a script and then go with 
it."
      "But, when a toon has no more interest in zem, don't they..."
      "But they do er some junk," Shirley explained. "If they have a following like 
this says, then those fans are what are keeping them going." Both of them turned 
back to the screen. It made at least some sense to them, but they still both couldn't 
believe it.
      "Do we tell zis to Pollard?" Fifi asked.
      "I think we have to... keeping something from him kinda made him get into 
the mess he's in right now." Shirley clicked on the print icon and they waited as 
the page printed out. When it finished, Shirley picked up the paper, folded it up 
and headed for the door with Fifi following behind her.

      "I think I should tell him this alone," Shirley said as they stood outside 
Pollard's hospital room.
      "Are vous sure?"
      "Yeah." Shirley opened the door and walked in to see Pollard just sitting back 
and staring at the ceiling and not looking very pleased.
      "Oh, hi Shirley," Pollard said as she walked in. Shirley sat down on the end of 
his bed.
      "Like what's wrong?" Shirley asked.
      "Nothing... well, actually, something. Shirley, are you sure Acme Acres is 
okay after what Cone did?"
      "It's going to be fine, Pollard."
      "Are you sure? I mean, I just feel really bad about it. I can't help but think that 
it's my fault that Cone went off like that. It has been every other time he's done 
it."
      "Don't worry about that." Pollard looked at her face and noticed that she didn't 
look at that well, either.
      "So what's wrong with you?"
      "Well..." she started. She then pulled out a piece of paper. She hesitated for a 
second and then forced herself to finally hand it over. Pollard read the first 
paragraph and then looked up with a blank look on his face. "Are you okay?" 
Pollard said nothing. His hands started to shake a little, but his face remained the 
same. Shirley tried waiving her hand in front of his face, throwing water on him, 
and shaking him, but he didn't come out of this shocked trance. "I'm really sorry 
to have to do this," Shirley said as she put her hand on his broken leg. She then 
moved it a little. Pollard exited his trance with a giant scream of pain.
      "I don't know what to say..." Pollard told her. His eyes turned back to the 
paper and he forced himself to read the rest of it. "So I guess these fans are what's 
keeping us from disappearing, huh?" Shirley said nothing. She just placed her arm 
around his shoulder as Pollard nodded his head in disbelief. "And they just let us 
keep going for three years without ever telling us? I wonder if anybody back 
home knows."
      "I totally don't think you should tell them. If they knew, you don't know what 
might happen."
      "So I now have to go back there and pretend like what we're doing actually 
means something. Shirley, I don't know how I can do that just for their sake. 
Ignorance is definitely bliss."  Pollard pulled away from Shirley for a while. 
"Shirley, can I be alone for a while? I've got some serious thinking to do."
      "Sure..." Shirley stood up and left the room. Pollard sat back and stared 
blankly at the wall, trying to figure out something that he could do.
      "How did he take eet?" Fifi asked Shirley as she emerged.
      "He's really upset over it," Shirley answered.
      "Well, wouldn't vous be?"

      Saturday night came and Shirley was by herself at home. She heard a knock 
on the door at around eight. When she opened the door she saw Danforth standing 
in the doorway.
      "Hi Shirley. I was out slumming and I thought I'd see the dump you live in."
      "What do you want Danforth?"
      "I have been doing a lot of thinking, Shirley, and well, isn't it amazing how 
interesting this past week has been? Without us, this would have been the most 
boring week ever."
      "Interesting? This week has been terrible!" Shirley shouted.
      "It's all in how you look at it. But seriously, doesn't this remind you of old 
times? I mean, you against me, and having that change just about everything 
around us. If I hadn't paid to have Cone brought here then none of this would have 
ever happened. Your friend Pollard would have had no way to get here and this 
would have just been an everyday week in Acme Acres." Shirley didn't say 
anything, but it was clear by her face turning red and her hands locked up tight in 
fists that she was becoming very angry. "Well, I'll leave you alone right now. But, 
this week has just been too much fun - I can't just forget our old rivalry like I did 
before. I'll be seeing you again Shirley." Danforth then closed the door and left. 
Shirley kicked it and returned to what she was doing.

      Monday morning came and Pollard was still lying in his hospital room, only 
now with a television set on. As he flipped through channels, he heard a knock on 
his door. Bugs Bunny entered.
      "Oh... Principal Bugs. What are you doing here?" Pollard asked.
      "How are ya?" Bugs asked.
      "I don't know..."
      "I heard about everything. Even da story behind da show," Bugs explained. 
Bugs then pulled up a chair next to his bed and sat down.
      "Bugs, what do I do?"
      "Pollard... ya can't tell da people back where you live about da show being 
cancelled. If they stop believing they are in cartoons then bad things could 
happen."
      "So I just have to lie to everybody and pretend like its all okay for the rest of 
my life?"
      "It ain't so bad. You're not the first toon to have to do dat."
      "Thanks for the advice. At least somebody is being straight about this stuff for 
once." Pollard then paused for a second. "I might be leaving earlier than I told you 
I was going to before."
      "Like how much earlier?"
      "Tomorrow. So much stuff has happened that I think I need to get back home 
and try to sort some of it out."
      "If that's what you want to do... is your leg good enough to travel back with 
wit?"
      "No, but I'll manage." Bugs nodded with something of a disappointed look on 
his face. He then stood up and walked out of the room. Pollard sat back and tried 
to force back the tears. Leaving was the last thing he really wanted to do, but with 
everything that had happened, he now felt like he had no choice. Pollard, noticing 
a set of crutches sitting in the corner of the room, forced his leg out of the sling 
and stood up on one leg. He hopped over to the corner and grabbed the crutches. 
Slowly, he managed to push himself out of the room. He exited his room and 
went down the hall to the payphone. He picked up the receiver and punched in 
several numbers.
      "Hello?" a deep voice on the other end said.
      "Dad? It's Pollard. Look, I'll be coming back tomorrow. There's a lot of stuff 
we need to talk about, alright?"
      "Are you sure, son? You still have a couple of months before we need to start 
filming the new season of the show."
      "Yeah. Well, once I tell you what's gone on, you'll know why. Just send the 
limo tomorrow morning and have it pick me up at Acme Acres hospital, okay? 
Bye." Pollard then put down the receiver and then tried to hop back to his room. 
After a few steps, he fell over and landed with a great deal of weight put on his 
injured leg. He fell to the ground, gripping his leg in pain. A nurse ran up and 
helped him back to his hospital room.

      Late that evening, Pollard was in the middle of throwing what he could from 
his bed into a suitcase when Shirley walked in the room. She froze when she saw 
him putting his belongings in the case.
      "What are you doing?"
      "Getting ready to go home."
      "But you like can't leave yet. You can't even walk."
      "No, I mean home. Like where I really live." Shirley looked stunned at this.
      "But, like... why?"
      "Shirley, in my time here I have found out that one teacher doesn't want me in 
the school, I have indirectly caused Acme Acres to get smashed up, I found out 
my life is a big lie, and to top it off I have a severe leg injury. This isn't the dream 
I thought it would be. I think I should go before anything else happens. Besides, I 
need to start practicing lying to everybody back home."
      "You can't leave!"
      "I have to. I'm sorry..." He then started facing the floor and his eyes began to 
water a little. Shirley's eyes began to fill, too. Just before it went any further a 
nurse stepped in.
      "I'm afraid visiting hours are over," she said. Shirley walked silently out of the 
room. Pollard continued packing what little he could.

      "I'm not going to let him leave like this!" Shirley said to Babs and Fifi, who 
had both come right over when they heard what was happening. "It's like he left 
because of something totally awful before and now it's going to happen again!"
      "So it's settled then - tomorrow, you follow him back," Babs said. Shirley 
raised an eyebrow. "Think about it - you follow him back to his world there, 
convince him to come back, and bring him back for as long as he can stay." 
Shirley started to open her mouth to respond with some remark about how that 
wouldn't work, but then she stopped herself.
      "I'm going to do it!" Shirley declared. Both of her friends smiled.
      "Great! Now don't worry - we'll cover for you at school," Babs assured her.

Chapter 13

      The next morning, Shirley kissed her parents goodbye and walked out the 
door as usual. Instead of walking in the direction of the school, however, she 
turned in the opposite direction and walked towards a waiting cab and jumped in.
      "Hey, where to?" the driver asked.
      "Acme Hospital."
      The cab arrived just in time to see a blue duck wheeled up to a long, white 
limo in a wheelchair. He had a suitcase in one hand and a pair of crutches being 
loaded into the back.
      "So, are you getting out or what?" the driver asked. Shirley waited to answer 
until the limo started to leave the parking lot.
      "Follow that cab, okay?" Shirley told him. The driver shrugged and started 
following the limo.

      Back at Acme Loo, during the first class of the day, attendance was about to 
start.
      "Trust us Plucky!" Babs said as they handed him a large yellow wig. "Nobody 
will ever know the difference." Plucky reluctantly put the wig on and sat in 
Shirley's seat.
      "L... L... Loon," Porky stuttered.
      "Like, here, for sure, cosmic er some junk," Plucky said in his best imitation 
of his girlfriend. Porky, surprisingly enough, didn't notice and marked Shirley 
down as there.
      "Now you just have to do that in every class," Buster told him. Plucky sighed.

      "Hey, listen, we've been following this limo for two hours. Are you gonna tell 
me anything about what's going on?" the cab driver asked.
      "It's way too hard to explain," Shirley answered. The driver shrugged and they 
continued to press forward. They were now driving around an almost empty area - 
there was just a dirt road and not much else. There had been no signs of 
civilization for at least an hour. This was a part of Acme Acres Shirley had never 
even heard about.
      Up in the limo, Pollard sat stretched out with his leg propped up on a table. He 
was staring out the window, completely lost in thought. He broke his silence for a 
second to ask, "how much longer until we're there?"
      "Give it another, oh, forty-five minutes, sir," the limo driver answered. Pollard 
nodded and continued his lost staring.

      It was now the third class of the day back at Acme Loo. Sitting in the back 
row was Plucky, once again throwing on his Shirley wig and clothes. As he sat 
there and uncomfortably stared at the front of the class, Fowlmouth walked up 
right next to him.
      "Uh, Shirl. Hey Shirl. Say, I was wondering if ya wanted to go out with me 
sometime or something?" Fowlmouth asked. Plucky turned to him.
      "No! I already have Plucky, the greatest guy in the school!" He shouted loud 
enough to knock Fowlmouth back into a wall.
      "I'll take that as a maybe," Fowlmouth said to himself as he pulled himself out 
of the hole he had just created.

      Another hour passed and the two cars, now with some distance between them, 
were driving through a desert area. There was now just a road and absolutely 
nothing else but sand around them. The taxi driver could just barely see the limo 
in front of them - Shirley could just barely stay awake.
      "This is it, sir," the limo driver called back to Pollard. The car started to shake 
violently for several seconds, followed by a large flash of light.
      The cab driver slammed on the breaks after he saw the flash. He looked ahead 
and saw that the limo was gone. After trying to figure out what had just happened 
for a second, he turned around to his passenger. "Hey, you don't want me to keep 
driving do you? Whatever that was, I don't want any part of it."
      "Of course I want you to keep going," Shirley answered. The driver unbuckled 
his seatbelt and got out of the car.
      "Fine, then go ahead. Keep going yourself. I'm gonna find a way home." He 
then started walking away. Shirley got out of the cab and moved to the front seat. 
Nervously, she took the car out of park and started driving it forward. She moved 
forward for a few seconds before she started to feel the car shaking. Right after 
that, the flash of light covered her car. Shirley couldn't tell exactly what was 
going on for the next few moments, but when the light finally disappeared, she 
found herself somewhere completely different.
      Shirley stopped the car and got out to check out her surroundings. It was 
almost dark out here. She couldn't see much from where she was except for 
several mountains far off in the distance. Shirley got back in the car and sat down. 
She closed her eyes and placed her fingers on her forehead. She started to say, 
"oh, what a loon I am... oh, what a loon I am..." She could practically feel herself 
becoming more and more centered and focused. After a few minutes of this, she 
opened her eyes to see a red outline of the car right in front of her. Inside, she 
could see her own aura sitting in the seat. The aura motioned with its hand for her 
to follow as it started to move. Shirley turned her car back on and began to follow 
this image.

      Meanwhile, a limo had just pulled into a long, circular driveway. The driver 
set up the wheelchair, but Pollard pulled himself out and managed to get up on a 
crutch. "Really... I'm fine," he told the driver as he started forward. He looked up 
and saw a very familiar sight: his real home now. The outside of the house 
appeared to be made up of white stones. It was a towering structure that shadowed 
everything nearby from its perch upon a large hill.
      "Please, sir. I insist that you use this," The driver said as he pulled up the chair 
next to Pollard. Pollard sighed and sat down, reluctantly letting himself be 
wheeled inside his house. As he was brought in, both of his parents ran up to greet 
him.
      "Welcome home, son!" his dad yelled.
      "Oh you'll have to tell us all about your trip," his mother added. Then, both of 
them noticed the broken leg and the chair. "Oh, honey. What happened?"
      "Without telling you the details right now," Pollard started. "Cone was there. 
Things got ugly. I was mangled on some pipes. Can I go up to my room now?" 
Pollard wheeled himself over to the elevator and was carried up to his room. His 
parents exchanged worried glances.
      Up in his room, Pollard wheeled over to his bed and forced himself out of the 
chair and onto it. He ignored the pain he felt when he rolled down and instead 
stared at the Tiny Toons merchandise around his room. He then started punching 
his pillow still not being able to believe what had happened in the place he had so 
desperately wanted to go to for so long. Just as he finally stopped unleashing 
some of his anger, the door opened and his mother walked in.
      "Pollard, just to let you know, since both you and Cone are back so soon, 
we're going to be starting the new season in a few days. That also means that the 
passage to Acme Acres will be closing again, okay?"
      "Yeah... fine..." His mother then left the room. Pollard reached in his pocket 
and pulled out the paper that said that his show didn't really exist. "I guess there's 
somebody else who needs to see this..."

      Shirley's guide continued to lead her down the path towards Pollard's house. 
She was now heading past a number of houses. These homes were much bigger 
than the ones she was used to in Acme Acres. The sidewalks were wide and very 
well lit, and there were people out walking the street even though it had been dark 
for quite some time now. This place was looking even more different than Acme 
Acres. She could see the mountains that she had spotted in the distance more 
closely now, although they were still a little ways away. There was another thing 
she started to notice very quickly - a lack of street signs. As she turned each 
corner, she jumped a little for fear of running into another car or a pedestrian. 
Except for a couple of close calls, though, she was fine.

      According to the time that this area was working on, it was now eight that 
night. Pollard, upon hobbling downstairs with his crutches, noticed that his 
parents had hidden themselves away watching television at this point and 
probably would have no way of noticing him as he left the house. Making sure 
again that he had the paper with him, Pollard began making his way out of there. 
He left the house, barely managed to make it down the hill and started walking the 
streets as fast as he could. As he headed down the road, just about everybody who 
saw him stopped and greeted him. He returned the greetings as sincerely as he 
could, and he told them he was hurt in just another encounter with Cone. Each 
person said they were looking forward to starting the new season so early. He 
walked alone for over an hour, thinking about how he was going to keep what he 
knew now to himself. He headed past the city with its brightly lit streets even at 
night and managed to make his way to the base of the mountains.
      "This is it," he said as he pulled the paper out. There was a small mail chute 
next to him now that took the note up the mountain to the only home at the top - 
Cone's house. Pollard read it over one last time. He read about how his show only 
existed for one measly episode. Like every other time had had read it, he missed 
some small text at the bottom. It was a part barely caught by the printer.
      "Click here to read about the cancellation of Tiny Toons" followed by a last 
updated date of two months ago. Pollard scribbled something on the bottom of the 
page and then placed it in the chute. It was brought up the tube running right next 
to the mountain path and it dropped right inside the small house at the top.
      "Like where are you taking me already?!" Shirley shouted at her aura, which 
had been leading her back and forth, in circles and doing u-turns for the last 
several minutes. Finally, it spun out around a small rocky path and her aura 
disappeared. Shirley parked her car where the image had vanished and she got out 
and started walking. She walked for a minute or so without knowing where she 
was going until finally she heard a voice.
      "This is really all I needed..." she heard it say. It was Pollard's. Shirley started 
running as fast as she could towards it. When she saw him, Shirley stopped right 
in front of him.
      "Shirley! Wha... what are you doing here?!" Pollard asked, his eyes wide with 
surprise.
      "Pollard, I couldn't let you leave like that. It was totally bad karma," Shirley 
said.
      "I didn't want to... but, I didn't think I had a choice. After all, it I wasn't for me 
Cone never would have gone on that rampage. I got hurt, found out more than I 
ever wanted to know, and everything else while I was there. I didn't want to risk 
anything else bad happening in Acme Acres because I was there."
      "But Pollard, nobody blames you for anything," Shirley explained. "Okay, 
well, a few people might, but they'll get over it. You still have a little while left - 
please come back and make the most of it."
      "No, I don't. Because I came back they think they are starting the next season 
already. If I leave then they won't believe in the show anymore, and then who 
knows what might happen. You're going to have to leave soon, you know. As 
soon as the season starts, you aren't going to be able to get back to Acme Acres 
from what I'm told, so I guess you'll have to leave soon..." Shirley stuck her hand 
out. Pollard returned the gesture and the two held onto each other's hands.
      "So like... I guess this is it, huh?" Shirley said.
      "I guess... if only there were some way I could be here to keep this place 
going but still be back in Acme with you..." Shirley's face turned down, as did 
Pollard's for a second before lighting up a little. "Shirley, I think I've got it."
      "Like... what?"
      "I have an idea about how they can think I'm here but I can really be back in 
Acme Acres. Calamity Coyote."
      "What's Calamity going to do?"
      "Simple. On my first day there I saw Calamity playing with a machine where 
he could make copies of living things and even edit those copies. If he could bring 
that back here then we could leave this place a slightly changed Pollard and I 
could come back with you."
      "That could totally work!" she exclaimed.
      "Great. Listen, you're going to have to go back, get Calamity and have him 
bring that machine to me. I'll stay here - we can't have anybody suspecting 
anything." Shirley started running back to the car she had taken there. "Good luck, 
Shirley." Shirley nodded, hopped in the driver's seat and sped off.
      Pollard returned home where he found his parents sitting in the reclining 
thrones overlooking the rest of the land.
"Mom... Dad... I need to talk to you," he said.
      "Well you could have just called us in, son," his dad said. "After all, we don't 
want you hurting your leg again or anything like that."
      "I've told you already not to worry about that. Listen... how really attached are 
you to this place?"
      "I'm sorry. What's that?"
      "I mean, let's say there was a way we could move to Acme Acres without this 
land knowing the difference..." both of his parents sighed.
      "Pollard, there are reasons why we can't just leave..." his mother started.
      "I've got it all taken care of. Listen..." he then explained his plan to them about 
leaving copies in their place and how nobody would know the difference, and, not 
being sure what his parents knew, he made sure to say that the show could go on 
fine with the copies.
      "And you're sure you could do without being the star of this show?" his 
mother asked in disbelief. Pollard said nothing. His parents exchanged glances. 
There was a moment of ackward silence before his mother said, "You know, don't 
you?" Pollard nodded his head yes. Both of his parents sighed. "Then I guess 
there's nothing left for you here."
      "Does that mean we can do it?"
      "If that's what'll make you happy, son, we'll do it," his father said. Pollard 
smiled and ran upstairs to start packing his stuff.

Chapter 14

      It was down to the last day. Shirley the Loon had yet to return. Everyday 
Pollard had sat at the giant telescope watching the spot where she had left before 
to return to Acme Acres to see if she could get that machine, and still nothing. 
      "I'm gonna go wait for Shirley," Pollard said as he passed by his parents on his 
way to the front door. They offered up no argument, so he just kept walking as 
well as he could.
      As he continued his walk, when Pollard began to travel the streets on this 
rainy day he didn't pass by as many people as he had the last time, and he soon 
found out why. His walk took him past the city square, and in it he saw thousands 
of people gathered, waiting, staring at a blank stage. The same thing they did the 
day before each season was about to kickoff. Outside of this square, the city was 
empty. Pollard looked at them for a moment, took a second to try and remember 
their blissful ignorance of what was really going on, and then he kept walking.
      He neared the mountain base now where he had seen Shirley the last time 
before she left. However, a few hundred feet from it, a cloaked figure approached 
him on this otherwise barren path. The figure, whose face was hidden, passed 
over a note. Pollard couldn't read it - the writing was too smeared. Pollard looked 
at the figure again, and this time the hood cloaking the face of it was removed. It 
was Cone.
      "I guess you won't be seeing me anymore," Cone said. "I can't just sit here and 
pretend I don't know the truth. I wanted to tell the truth to others, to make them 
aware, and that's when it happened. I was told to leave town, leave the "show" and 
never come back."
      "I can't say I'll miss you. You tried to ruin my life for three years, and you 
came very close more than a few times."
      "Believe that if you want, but I know the truth here, too. Somebody sheltered 
and polite and pleasant like you needs somebody like me. I balanced this place. 
It's too bad you'll never thank me for that." Cone then started to walk past him. 
"Oh, and the writing. That just says 'everything you know is wrong.' It kinda fits 
this place, doesn't it?" Cone then kept walking. Pollard didn't look at him as he 
walked off. As he turned the first corner after passing Pollard, Cone was 
approached by another cloaked figure.
      "You all set to go?" he asked. The other figure pulled off the cloak - it was 
Margot.
      "Ready as I'll ever be."
      "Don't be scared - you'll see things you couldn't have even imagined before. 
Just think of all the fun we'll have." The two then put their cloaks back up and 
walked away together.
      Pollard was now staring at his watch. He paced uncomfortably as he 
continued to wait. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he saw two 
headlights speeding towards him. As it got closer, he recognized the cab from 
before - and the driver. Shirley and Calamity hopped out. Calamity ran around the 
back of the car and popped open the trunk to reveal a big machine inside. This 
machine was about seven feet high, black and had a large chamber with a 
transparent cover on it. Pollard walked right up to it and started examining it.
      "Does it still work?" Pollard asked.
      "We had three Plucky's running around for a day," Shirley answered.
      "I guess that's yes then. Let's get this thing back to my place." They all 
managed to force themselves and the machine into the car and drove off to 
Pollard's home. As the car pulled up, Shirley started to stare at the house in awe.
      "This makes Montana Max's house look like a box," Shirley remarked as she 
saw it. The three stepped out and headed for the door. Shirley was still marvelling 
at the structure - the gold that lined the borders of the windows and the door, the 
statues sitting out front, and the incredible view of this strange place. As they 
walked in, Shirley was given even more to amaze her. There was art and 
sculptures everywhere. Beneath her was a long, red carpet.
      "Are you totally sure you want to leave this place?" Shirley asked. Pollard 
nodded yes.
      "Shirley, would you be comfortable with this much? I'm not cut out to be 
royalty. I can't lead. The attention's nice, but this place isn't where I belong. 
Especially not now. My parents don't belong here either, and I think somewhere 
they know that."
      Pollard led Calamity to an empty room where the grey Coyote started to set up 
his machine again. As this was going on, Pollard took Shirley by the hand and 
started leading her around the house. Shirley saw the reclining thrones, the indoor 
fountains, and countless other things. This tour ended with Pollard's room. Shirley 
saw all of the Tiny Toons merchandise scattered around the shelves, the videos by 
his telelvision, and a number of other things.
      "Sorry... I kinda forgot about this stuff," Pollard lied as he saw Shirley's 
surprised look. "I wasn't ever kidding when I said how much I wanted to be in 
Acme Acres, and I couldn't believe I was there for almost every second I stood in 
that place." Pollard then reached under the bed and pulled out a large box full of 
papers. "These are all the letters I tried to write to you only to be told that we 
couldn't send mail to Acme Acres."
      "Can I read them?" she asked.
      "I think I've said most of what I wrote. But, I'll let you read them sometime - 
just not now. I think I have a clone to have made." With that, Shirley and Pollard 
stepped into the elevator by his room and headed back down. Once they returned 
to the room Calamity was setting up in, they saw Pollard's parents standing there 
and checking what he was doing.
      "Pollard, we tried to introduce ourselves to this boy but he won't say 
anything," his father said. "Is he a friend of yours?"
      "Yeah, he is. I have another friend here, too." Shirley then walked out and 
both of his parents looked at her with warm smiles. "Mom, Dad, I'm sure you 
remember Shirley."
      "Why hello dear. It's been so long," his mother said. Shirley smiled and 
waived at her. "How are your parents? I still think that without them we wouldn't 
have made it this far. It was a shame we had to lose touch with them when we all 
moved. After all, they were out friends for the longest time."
      "You know, you never even mentioned knowing them until we moved in 
there," Pollard remarked.
      "You never asked." Pollard sighed and turned to Calamity.
      "Are you ready?" Calamity gave a thumbs up and Pollard walked over. He 
stared at the machine again for a second before saying, "Alright. I'm ready." He 
then stepped into the chamber. Calamity pressed a red button on the side, and 
several lights flashed inside. The machine let out a huge noise and started to shake 
violently. Finally, just when it was shaking so hard it appeared to be about to fall 
apart, it stopped. There was a small bell sound, and the chamber opened. Pollard 
slowly stepped out, looking slightly singed and with his eyes glazed over a little.
      "How do you feel?" his mother asked.
      "Great..." he said without much sincerity. He then fell over and landed on the 
floor. Calamity pushed a few buttons on the side and after a few seconds, a taller, 
thinner blue duck appeared inside with his eyes closed.
      "This is the Pollard we are going to leave here," Shirley explained. " He'll just 
say they switched animators or something. He won't know the difference and 
neither will anybody else." Calamity reached in and pulled the clone Pollard out 
and gently laid him down on the floor.
      Pollard's parents reached down and pulled their son off the floor. "You're 
next," Pollard said as he started to stand again. First his father, then his mother 
stepped into the machine. It went just like it had for Pollard, only their copies 
were exact doubles. As they started walking away from the machine, Calamity's 
foot caught a cord on the device and it toppled over with several pieces smashing. 
Calamity began to try and fix it while the Fowlers went to put thier clones in their 
places. Those who had been copied took their dopplegangers and placed them in 
the correct bedrooms. Calamity had told them that in fifteen minutes they would 
wake up and think they were the rightful royal family of this area.
      After placing them down, the three Fowlers returned to the main hall where 
Shirley and Calamity were waiting. All three of them were carrying large 
suitcases. All three took one last look around the magnificent palace they were 
leaving behind so they could go be average citizens of Acme Acres.
      "I'll miss this place," Pollard said as the party started for the door," but I'd 
miss Acme more if I stayed here." With that, he walked out the door with the keys 
to the old place in his hands as a memento. They all filed into a much larger car 
than the cab they had come in with. Pollard's father began to drive. He took them 
all on one last look around the place, and then he started heading for the gate 
between the two places.
      As they passed through the gate back to Acme Acres, both Shirley and 
Pollard, although barely awake by this point, started to cheer from the back. They 
then turned to each other and smiled again. They then held hands and both drifted 
off in the back of the car. As this was going on, Calamity was trying his best to fix 
his machine in the limited space.
      "Wow. This is even better than it looked on television," Pollard's dad 
commented as they began to drive through familiar scenery. He marveled at each 
location that had been shown on Tiny Toons on their way home. Shirley was 
dropped off, exhausted from the trip, and Calamity began to walk home. This only 
left the Fowlers getting back into their home. The three headed through the front 
door of the house and turned the lights on. Inside, they found several gift baskets 
and welcome cards.
      "I knew there was a reason I bought this place and not just rented it," Pollard's 
father remarked as they looked around.
      "I think my room is still set up, so I'm going to go try and sleep," Pollard said. 
He then hobbled to his room while his parents sat and took in the house from the 
kitchen.
      "I know this isn't the best time to ask, but what are we going to do about 
money?" Mrs. Fowler asked.
      "Don't worry - we have more than enough from back there to last us the rest of 
our lives." He then pulled out a small piece of paper. "This basically entitles us to 
all the money we need from Warner Bros. Kind of like a pension combined with 
taking some of what was ours back there."
      "Then this is going to be great. We get to relax. Pollard's happy. And nobody 
back there knows the difference."

      Up in his room, Pollard started looking through a few of his suitcases. Inside 
the first one he opened, he saw his crown sitting on the top. He pulled it out and 
admitted it for a second. Then, as he sat back to try and go to sleep, he placed it 
on his head. "This feels more right here then it ever did back there." He then 
drifted off with it still sitting upon his head, and he started to dream of the 
possible adventures he might have here in the future. It was finally time for his 
real cartoon life to begin.

      Back in his mansion, Danforth sat alone in his room working on something for 
Roddy. As he started to write something down, his phone rang.
      "Hello?"
      "Danforth," a deep voice on the other end said. "There a few things we need to 
discuss with you. I trust you expected this"
      "Well, then tell me what it is," Danforth said. Danforth then sat back and 
listened to what the voice had to say. "I see. I'm not surprised. We'll just see what 
I can do about that... alright, I know. Nothing's really over. We'll discuss this later. 
Goodbye." Danforth then hung up the phone, sat back and waited. 

The End