Ducks Out Of Luck A Tiny Toon Adventures/Darkwing Duck/Uncle Scrooge crossover. by Kevin Mickel (HKUriah@AOL.com) Author's note. This story is set at an indeterminate time in the future. Regular fans of TTA and DWD will notice that several major changes have taken place in the lives of some of the characters. On the very real chance though that someone reading this might not be familiar with one of those programs, and in one case, fanfic based upon it, I will offer the following quick reference to avoid confusion. Plucky and Shirley are married. So are Drake and Morgana. So are Launchpad and Beth Webfoot, a character from Rebecca Littlehales's excellent ongoing DWD fanfic series. I'll also state that most of these characters have met before. The tale of most of these initial meetings are related in an as of yet unreleased story. Based upon comments from the very helpful folks who took a pre-release look at thing for me, and they will be named later, I feel that it is necessary to mention that I have based the characterization and personalities of Scrooge, Donald, and Huey, Dewey & Louie upon that which is seen in the comic books of Carl Barks, and to a lesser extent, the even older Disney Theatrical Shorts. In other words, these are not the characters from DuckTales or Quack Pack. Got all that? Good. I'll shut up now and let you read the story. Gosalyn Mallard watched with curiosity as the tiny electric car pulled up in front of the house on the corner, figuring that whoever the driver was must be the house's new owner. She started towards the vehicle to welcome whoever it was to the neighborhood, but her curiosity turned to surprise as the driver got out of the car. She was a fairly attractive blonde who was dressed in a pinkish-purple sweater and had a large bow in her hair of the same color. What surprised Gos though was that she recognized her. "Shirley?" she asked. "Shirley the Loon? Is that you?" Shirley turned to see who had addressed her. She looked at Gosalyn for a few seconds before recognition seemed to form on her face and she said, "Like, Gosalyn, right? Gosalyn... Mallard, or some junk." "That's me," said Gos. "Don't tell me you didn't recognize me." "Well, the ponytail is quite a change from the pigtails you used to sport." Gosalyn nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I guess it is. So, what are you doing here?" "Well, I like, live here now. The sale becomes final as soon as I move in." Gosalyn's face brightened at that announcement. "Awesome! Shirley the Loon is gonna be my new neighbor!" "Oh," said Shirley with a faint grin, "actually, it's Shirley Duck now. Plucky and I got married three years ago. I'm surprised you didn't know. It was, like, in all the trades and stuff." Gosalyn shook her head. "Well, that was about the same time that Dad finally married Morgana. I was kinda busy then." "Oh, well, that explains it. You were to totally busy with stuff of your own to notice." "Something like that," said Gos with a wry smile. "Anyway, how come you're moving to St. Canard?" "Well, it's like this. Acme Loo is gonna be opening a new satellite campus here. Plucky and I are gonna be on staff, and Daffy's gonna be the dean, or some junk." "Wow. How'd they manage that?" "Well now that's a totally weird story. You see..." Shirley was cut off as a big moving van with the words "Acme Movers" on the side pulled up next to the house. "Oh, cool," she said. "Our stuff is here." "Can I help you move in?" asked Gos. "No need," said Shirley. "Like watch." By now the van had backed up so that it was next to the house. As Shirley told Gos to watch, the back end of the vehicle began to jack itself up until it's rear doors were just over the house's chimney Then, a giant mechanical hand came out of the roof of the truck's cab and put a huge funnel into the chimney. Then the cargo section tilted itself backwards, and a collection of furniture, anvils and other household items were poured out of the truck and into the house. This lasted for only a few seconds before the van was empty, the hand removed the funnel, and after it retracted into the cab, the cargo box cranked back down onto the vehicles frame, and the truck drove away. "Keen gear!" exclaimed Gosalyn as she watched it leave. "How'd they do that?" "It's like, an Acme thing. It'll be one of the things that we're gonna be teaching at the new Loo. How old are you know?" "Just turned 16." "Well, you should totally apply, or some junk. I'm sure you'd get in." "Maybe I will," said Gosalyn. "In fact I'd..." Gos was cut off as a huge black automobile with a duck bill shaped hood pulled up next to Shirley's electric car with a window rattling roar. After revving the engine a couple of times, the driver shut it down, and as it whined through the shutdown cycle, the car's canopy slid open and Gosalyn watched as a green feathered duck wearing a white T-shirt who was about the same height as her father climbed out of the car. After closing the canopy, he looked over at Shirley and said, "Hiya, Shirl. Did our stuff arrive okay?" Shirley rolled her eyes skyward as she looked at her husband's car. "Yes, Plucky," she said with effort. "The movers just left, or some junk." "Great!" he said with a mischievous grin and an odd gleam in his eye. "Whattaya say we go inside and..." Plucky cut himself off when he finally noticed Gosalyn. "Oh, hello," he said nonchalantly. "Who're you?" "Plucky," said Shirley as she and Gos made their way over to him, "This is Gosalyn Mallard. She lives down the street." "Drake's daughter?" asked Plucky with surprise. "Gee, the last time I saw you, you were just a kid." "Well that *was* awhile ago," said Gosalyn as she rolled her eyes skyward. Then turning to Plucky's car, and grinning widely as she pointed at it, she asked, "Whattaya call it?" "Oh, you like it, huh? Well, *this* is the Duckmobile! I used it in a couple of my old Batduck pictures. Warner Bros. let me keep it." "Cool!" said Gos with excitement. "How fast does it go?" "Well," said Plucky with pride, "let's just say that it would be a very popular car in those states with no speed limit." "Uh-huh," said Gosalyn absentmindedly as she wondered what she would have to do to be able to drive it, and how it would do in a race with her father's motorcycle, the Ratcatcher. She tried to think of a tactful way to ask if she could give the car a try when she saw that now would not be a good time to do so. Apparently the window rattling arrival of the Duckmobile had attracted some attention. Just about everyone who lived on Avian Way was coming out to see what had caused all the racket. "Uh-oh," said Gos when she saw that her father was leading the pack, and he didn't look too happy. "Now, Drake," said Morgana as she walked beside him, "try to control your temper." "Temper-shmemper," snarled Drake Mallard. "I wanna know what the source of all this, this, NOISE, is." "Hi, neighbor!" said Plucky in his most friendly voice as they drew near to him. "How goes it?" "How goes it?" asked Drake incredulously. "How goes it? How do you think it goes?!? How'd you like to have your much needed sleep rudely interrupted by a, a car that sounds like a refugee from a rocket factory?" "Sleep?" asked Plucky with confusion. "Who sleeps at 10:30 in the morning?" "I do," snarled Drake with a hint of threat in his voice. "Hey," said Plucky, stating to get angry, "it's not my fault. Most people sleep at *night* you know." "But I don't. And if I ever get awakened by that, thing, again, I'll personally take it apart one nut at a time!" "Oh yeah?" demanded Plucky. "You and what army?" "I won't need one." "You wanna bet?" "Just try me." "You're on." The belligerence in the two combatants was beginning to get more and more obvious. In fact, it was clear to all that they were about to come to blows when both of them found themselves bound by chords of light and were dragged apart from each other. "Stop it!" said Shirley and Morgana in unison. "Let go of me!" said Plucky and Drake simultaneously as they looked at their wives. Then they looked back to each other and added, "Huh?" Shirley and Morgana looked at each other with surprise. Shirley raised her eyebrows slightly and Morgana nodded in response. With that, Shirley released her psychic hold on Plucky, and Morgana released Drake from her spell. "Wow," said Gosalyn. "That was intense!" "Hmm," said Drake thoughtfully to Plucky, "it seems that we have a few things in common." "Yeah, it does." "Look," said Drake. "I'm sorry I came across so hostile. I just like to sleep late, that's all. I'm something of a night owl." "Ah, forget it," said Plucky. "Besides, I don't have to gun the engine while I'm in the driveway. I'll keep that in mind." "Great!" said Gosalyn, sensing that a mood of friendliness was now in the making. "So, now that that's all settled, can I take the Duckmobile for a spin?" "NO!" shouted Plucky, Shirley, Drake and Morgana in unison. "Eep!" said Gos as she raised her hands in surrender. "I was only asking." ########## Magica De Spell looked out the window of her sorcery shop on the slopes of Mt. Vesuvius. With a grim nod, she turned back to her notes to double check for errors. Everything was in order. Assuming that her theory was correct, then soon, very soon, Scrooge McDuck's Number One Dime would be hers, and then, untold riches would follow. There was only one problem, she needed to test it. She did not want to try it in Duckburg though. If it was a failure, she'd be hard pressed to make a clean escape. She needed to test, and perhaps ultimately try her idea when Scrooge, and hopefully his interfering nephews, were away from the sanctuary of his impregnable Money Bin. Unsure of how to proceed, she looked over her copy of The Duckburg Times and saw an interesting article. "Of course," she muttered as she read the article over. "St. Canard." Knowing now where she was going to deliver her strike, she turned to the question of how. For months she had been working to perfect a potion that would render any duck powerless to resist her commands. Realizing that she'd never get McDuck to drink such a concoction though, she modified the mixture so that it's vapors merely needed to be inhaled. Of course the problem of how to get the vapors to the nose of Scrooge, and anyone else that may be near him, was still eluding her. "It doesn't matter," she thought. "I'll think of something by the time I get to St. Canard, and at the moment, getting out of here to get there is my biggest problem." Looking out towards the rocks where the spies that Scrooge had sent to watch her and warn him if she were ever to leave the country were hiding, she mused, "But it won't be for long." Acting quickly, she filled a mason jar with foof bombs and shaped changed into a raven. Grabbing the jar in her talons, she flew out over the spies' camp site and proceeded to foof them into insensibility. Returning to her shop, and then her natural form, she chuckled to herself, knowing that after having that many foof bombs dropped on them the two spies would be out of commission for several days. "Well, at least I don't have to worry about them warning Scrooge that I'm on my way. Now if only I could figure out how..." Magica stopped when the answer finally came to her. "Of course!" she exclaimed. "I should have thought of it sooner. My foof bombs!" Finally knowing what she had to do, Magica took a medium sized bomb and immersed it in the concoction that she had spent so many weeks perfecting. Once she was satisfied that is was saturated with the stuff, she pulled it out of the vat, and dropping it into her purse, she said, "Soon, Scrooge. Very soon, your Number One Dime will be mine!" ########## The next morning, while Shirley was out buying groceries, Plucky was tinkering around under the hood of the Duckmobile, trying to figure out why the car wouldn't start. "Stupid no good razzafrazzin' pieceasoanso," he muttered. "What's wrong with it this time?" He continued to stare at the engine with futility when someone behind him said, "Gotta problem with your car?" Plucky turned to see a very tall and strong looking duck who wore a leather jacket and a flight cap standing over him. Plucky thought he looked familiar, but couldn't remember from where. "Yeah," he said with disgust. "The dumb thing won't start." "Hmm," said the newcomer thoughtfully. "Mind if I take a look at it? My name's Launchpad. Launchpad McQuack. My wife and I live a coupla houses down. I'm sort of a mechanic." "Sure," said Plucky with resignation. "Why not? I sure don't know what's wrong." "No problem-o," said Launchpad as he started to poke around under the hood. "Oh, here's the trouble," he said after only a few seconds, and the engine suddenly roared to life. "Hey, that's great!" said Plucky. "What'd you do?" "Oh, I just cleaned out your air intake. It was all clogged up. See?" With that, Launchpad lifted up the hose in question and pointed it in Plucky's general direction, and it immediately sucked the hapless green duck into the carburetor. As a result of this, the Duckmobile's engine began to cough and sputter as Plucky was forced through the system until he was forcefully blown out the tailpipe with a loud, "Plaaahhh!!!" "Oops," said Launchpad as he hastily killed the engine and hurried over to Plucky's side. He was covered from head to foot in black soot, and his eyes were glazed over as his tongue rolled out of his beak. "Uh, you okay?" asked Launchpad meekly. "No more for me thanks," said Plucky in his most groggy voice, "I'm driving!" Launchpad began to grow concerned for Plucky and he was about to call for help when the green mallard began to rigorously shake himself. Bits of soot and charred feathers flew away from his body, and after a few seconds of this he stood still, and looked every bit his normal self. "Oh man that hurt!" he said as he shook his head as if to clear it. Launchpad looked at him with amazement. "Hey! You're all right!" "Of course I am," said Plucky matter of factly. "It'll take more than a trip through an internal combustion engine to take out this little green duck!" "I guess so," said Launchpad as he considered what he had just seen. Then, his face brightened as a thought occurred to him. "Say," he asked with enthusiasm, "do you think you could teach DW to shake off injuries like that? He's always gettin' hurt on the job." "Why sure I could," said Plucky. "That's why we're here and... Say, did you just say, 'DW?' Now I remember you; you're Darkwing Duck's sidekick, aren't you?" "I sure am," said Launchpad with pride. Then, recognition came to him also. "Say, I remember you. You and DW once raced up the side of a building." Plucky winced as Launchpad said that. Not only was that "race," rather embarrassing, the circumstances that led to it were far from pleasant, and Plucky was trying hard to forget about them. "Yeah," he said with a shrug, "I guess we did." Then quickly changing the subject, he added, "Uh, Launchpad, you will see Darkwing today, won't you?" "Of course I will. Why?" "Well, I'd like to get in touch with him. Y'see, I'd like to offer him a job." "A job? Doin' what?" "Teaching Super-heroics 101 at the new Loo. I'd've done it myself, but the regents want a *real* superhero, so I figured he'd be as good a choice as any. In fact, you could probably do some sort of a course in side-kicking if you wanted to." "Me, a teacher?" "Sure, why not?" "Well, I..." "Hey, take some time to think it over. No need to decide right now. Still, do you think you could set up that meeting for me with Darkwing?" "Uh, yeah, I guess so. DW'd probably love to do it." "I'm sure he would," said Plucky. "In the meantime though, I need you to promise me something." "Sure, what?" "Never, ever point the Duckmobile's air intake hose at anyone!" "Gotcha!" said Launchpad with a grin. "No problem-o." About then, Shirley returned from the grocery store in her tiny electric car. Plucky turned to greet her, and noticed that she was not alone. With her was a tall duck-lady with shoulder length brown hair that she wore in a ponytail, and who had on thick round glasses. "Hiya, Shirl," said Plucky as the two of them climbed out of the car. "Who's your friend?" Before Shirley could answer him, Launchpad broke out into a broad grin and said, "Ah, that's just my wife," and he started over towards them. Plucky watched as Launchpad swept the woman into his arms, and after kissing her warmly, he said, "Hiya, Beth. I missed ya." "Hi yourself, Launchpad," said Beth as she smiled back at him. "Me too." 'Oh brother,' Plucky found himself thinking, but said nothing as Shirley, who could read his mind, glared at him. "Where'd ya go?" asked Launchpad. "Well, Shirley here needed to get some groceries, so I showed her where the supermarket is." "Well, that was nice of ya," said LP. "It totally was," said Shirley. "Without Beth's help, Ida been completely lost, or some junk." Plucky meanwhile, was looking at all the bags that were stuffed into Shirley's car. "Gee, Shirl," he said with confusion. "What'd you do? Buy a whole year's worth of stuff? "Oh, no," said Beth. "Most of that is mine. Launchpad, would you be a dear and carry our stuff home. It's in the plastic bags. Shirley's are in the paper ones." "Sure," said LP as he opened the cargo hatch and scooped the indicated mountain of bags into his arms. It was so large that he could not see over, around, or even through it. "Is this all?" he asked. "Yep," said Beth. "Great," said LP. "This oughta hold us until at least tomorrow." "I'm sure it will," said Beth with a grin. "Come on, I'll lead you home. Shirley, thanks again for the ride." "Like, no big deal. Anytime you need a lift, let me know." "I will. So, are we all set for tomorrow night?" "What's tomorrow night?" asked Plucky. "Beth's invited us over for dinner. I told her we'd come." "Hey, that's great," said Launchpad from behind his mountain of food. "I'll make some brownies!" Plucky could have sworn that Beth winced as LP said that, but pretended not to notice as she said, "Well, we'll see, dear." Then taking him by the sleeve, she started leading him home and said, "We'd better go before this stuff thaws. Bye, Shirley. Bye, Plucky." "Bye," said Plucky and Shirley in unison as they walked away. "Interesting couple," said Plucky once they were gone. "That's totally true," said Shirley with a nod. "But I like 'em. They're really nice, or some junk." ########## "And thso," said Daffy Duck, as he stood at the podium, "I am pleased to announth that the Sthaint Canard camputh of Acme Loonverthity will be thtarting clatheth thith fall!" After closing and putting away the umbrellas that they had been using to protect themselves from flying spittle, the small crowd that was gathered at the Looniversity steps, city officials, Looniversity faculty, and a few prospective students and their parents applauded politely as Daffy said this, more out of relief that he had finally shut up than anything else though. "I don't get it," said Donald Duck to his three nephews. "Why do you want to go to school here?" "Because, Unca Donald, this will-- "--be a great place to study and--" "--have fun at the same time!" "Whatever," said Donald as he rolled his eyes skyward. Even after all these years, he was still unable to figure out how his nephews were able to complete each others sentences that way, and it still amazed him when they did it. "Come on," he added, "let's take a look around." Donald and the boys explored the campus eagerly, and it wasn't long before they came across the first of many surprises. Heading over to the faculty building so the boys could make sure they knew where their various instructors offices' were going to be, they were shocked to see an office with a nameplate on it that said, "$ McDuck." "No," said Donald, when he saw it. "It couldn't be," and he reached out to knock on the door. "Come in," said a disturbingly familiar voice on the other side of it. Donald opened the door to see his Uncle Scrooge sitting at a small desk with a big smile on his face. "Well it's about time you got here," he said. "I was starting to wonder where you were." "Unca Scrooge?" said Huey, Dewey and Louie in unison. "What are you doing here?" "Well that should be obvious boys," said Scrooge as he stood up to greet them. "Your Uncle Donald certainly can't afford your tuition here, and as the sole heirs to my three cubic acres of money, you're ineligible for financial aide. That means the bill came to me. Well do you know how expensive this place is? I nearly passed out when I saw how much it was going to cost." "But that doesn't "--explain what--" "--you're doing here," said Huey, Dewey and Louie. "I'm coming to that, boys. You see, I found out that the relatives of faculty members get to attend for free. So I..." "So you got a job on the faculty," said Donald with a shake of his head. "Exactly," said Scrooge with a hint of triumph. "Not only do the boys get to attend for nothing, but I am going to make a tidy sum myself on my professor's salary." "But what are you gonna teach?" asked the boys. "Epic Adventurism," said Scrooge with pride. "My many exploits make me the perfect person to teach such a course." None of the Ducks could argue with that statement, having shared in many of those adventures themselves over the years. "But never mind all of that," said Scrooge. "I take it that you're still exploring the campus? Let's head over to the Rec Hall. If I know you three, that's one place that you'll want to be aquatinted with." ########## "Come *on,* Dad," said Gosalyn as she tugged at her father's arm. I'd like to see a few more things before it gets dark." "All right, Gosalyn, all right," said Drake as he shook his head and continued to stare at the mural depicting scenes from several WB superhero cartoons. "Maybe I *will* take that teaching job Launchpad mentioned," he murmured. "These people have got a lot to learn about being a superhero." "DAD," said Gos with growing impatience. "It hasn't changed in the last half-hour, and will still be there later. *Come on!*" With a sigh, Drake turned away from the mural and said, "Okay, okay. Where to now?" "How about the Rec Hall?" asked Gos. "I hear they got a whole wall full of arcade games!" Visions of Gosalyn spending all of her tuition money, one quarter at a time, began to form in Drake's mind as she said this. "Well, maybe," he said with reluctance. "But only if you promise to come back here and look at this thing with me some more later on." "Deal" said Gosalyn, with absolutely no intention of coming back later. "It's over this way." "Where's Morgana?" asked Drake as they headed over. "I think she went over there a while ago while you were busy staring at the wall." "I was not 'staring at the wall.' I was studying it." "Yeah, whatever," said Gosalyn. "Sure. Next you'll be telling me that being a super hero is just a hobby for you." They continued the argument all the way to the Rec Hall, and just before they got there they ran into Scrooge, Donald, and Huey, Dewey & Louie, who took one look at Gosalyn and sighed heavily. "Hi, Gosalyn," the three of them said together as they focused their full attention on the young redhead. "Oh great," muttered Gosalyn as she looked back at their puppy-dog stares. 'Where's Honker when I need him?' she thought. She'd always thought it was rather weird that the three of them had a crush on her, especially when none of them saw any conflict in it Taking a deep breath to build up her courage she said, "Hi guys. How you all been?" "We're-- "--just--" "--fine." "Ah," said Gos with a polite nod. "Good." Then whispering to her father, she added, "Get me outta here!" "Uhm, yes, well," said Drake as he tried to think. "Uh, here's the Rec Hall you wanted to see, Gos. Let's go take a look." "Great!" said the boys in unison. "That's where we were going!" "Thanks a lot, Dad," said Gosalyn as she went inside, with Huey, Dewey & Louie following her closely. "What I do now?" asked Drake with confusion as he watched them go. "Ah, who knows?" said Donald. "I still don't understand them." "Nor I," said Scrooge. "But don't worry about them. It's probably covered in that crazy Guidebook of theirs somewhere." With that, the three adults made their way into the Rec Hall. What they saw, amazed them. A crowd had gathered to watch an ongoing game of ping-pong, and what a game. At one end of the table stood Morgana Mallard with an intense look of concentration on her face as she waved her hands in small deliberate gestures. At the other end of the table, Shirley Duck floated in the lotus position and chanted "owhotaloonIam owhotaloonIam" over and over again. Between them, a ping-pong ball was being batted back and forth by a pair of paddles that moved of their own accord. "Keen gear!" Gosalyn exclaimed as she watched the ongoing contest. Huey, Dewey & Louie were busy leafing through the Jr. Woodchuck's Guidebook, trying to find an explanation for what they saw. "Look under magic." "No, psychic phenomena." "Try paranormal occurrences." "What about the chapter on unexplainable weird stuff?" "Already looked there." "Oh heck, look under ping-pong!" Meanwhile, the game continued unabated, with neither player scoring a point. About then, Plucky walked up to Drake and said, "Care to make a friendly wager?" "What'd you have in mind?" "Nothing serious," said Plucky. "Just a gentleman's bet. One dollar says Shirley scores before Morgana." "Hmm. What's the score now?" "Tied, zero-zero. They've been at it for twenty minutes." "Twenty minutes?!?" said Drake. "Hah! I know for a fact that when Morgue sets her mind to something, she can keep at it indefinitely. You're on!" ########## Magica wandered around the Looniversity campus, wondering just where Scrooge was hiding. After all the work she had gone to to be able to go after him when he wasn't holed up in his Money Bin, and then not be able to find him would not be a pleasant occurrence. He had not been in his office when she went there, and now she was simply searching the campus for him. Eventually, she made her way to the Rec Hall, and was at the same time thrilled and dismayed by what she saw. The thrill of course came from seeing Scrooge. The source of the dismay was the sight of Morgana. "What's *she* doing here?" she thought. "And who's that other one she's playing with?" For a moment, she considered scrapping her entire plan, but she quickly dismissed the idea as overly cautious. "They're all ducks," she reminded herself. "It'll work. The fact that two of them are fellow sorceresses is immaterial." Taking one last look around to make sure that no one was watching her, Magica reached into her purse and pulled out her specially modified foof bomb, and prepared to deliver it. ########## Morgana and Shirley's game continued unabated. Everyone in the room was transfixed upon the contest, wondering who was going to score first, especially Plucky and Drake, both of whom were growing more and more confident that it would their own wife who would do so, and thus collect an extra dollar. "Well, Plucky," said Drake with confidence, "it looks like I'm gonna be a dollar richer pretty soon." "I wouldn't be so sure of that," said Plucky with just as much assurance. "Shirley's not even trying very hard. She's just floating there. Look at the way Morgana's busy concentrating." "That's just do to the differences in their powers and the way they work," countered Drake. "Believe me, I know when Morgue's exerting herself, and she's not." "Uh-huh," said Plucky. "Well you gotta remember, Shirley's very well centered. She can set her mind to a single task to the exclusion of all else. She'll never tire or be distracted. Can you say the same about Morgana?" "I already told you that she can. Besides, Morgue comes from a long line of powerful witches, she's been taught well, and by the best." "Oh, yeah, well, Shirley *is* a long line of powerful psychics! She can call on the combined powers of all her past lives to keep her going!" "That may be true," said Drake, "but Morgana..." Unfortunately, Drake was unable to make his next point, and they would never settle their debate over who had the strongest powers, let alone collect on their bet, for at that very moment, there was a loud "FOOF!!" accompanied by a blinding flash of light. When everyone's eyes had recovered from the flash, they were amazed to see Magica De Spell standing on the ping-pong table with a look of triumph on her face. "Nobody move!" she ordered. "I command it!" To the surprise of everyone present, they found that they could not move. Magica hopped down off the table, and started over to Scrooge. "Greetings, my old enemy," she said in triumph. "At long last, I shall have what I have always wanted, your old dime, and with its power, untold riches will be mine!" and she reached into Scrooge's pocket to appropriate the coin. Everyone in the room watched with frustration, wishing they could move to his aide, but they could not. Everyone that is but Shirley. After she had gotten over the initial dizziness caused by the foof bomb, she found that she could move quite freely. It took only a second her to realize that she needed to do something, and fast. Standing up, she turned towards Magica, who's back was to her as she continued to fish around in Scrooge's pocket, and said, "Like, didn't anyone ever tell you that it's impolite to pick people's pockets, er some junk?" "Huh?" said Magica as she backed up and turned around to see who had addressed her. Seeing that Magica was no longer touching Scrooge, Shirley let a huge volley of psychic lightening bolts fly from her fingertips and proceeded to give the evil sorceress the shock of her life. She slumped to the floor, her hair frizzed out in every direction and her feathers singed as she stared off blankly into space. With Magica's concentration broken, everyone else was freed from her spell. Once Morgana had recovered, and seeing Drake discreetly slip from the room, she quickly conjured up some mystical rope. Then, after tying the still dazed Magica up with it, she said, "Nice work, Shirley. How'd you do it?" "Do what? All I did was let her have it." "No, I mean how did you get free of her control spell? I couldn't." By now, Magica had recovered her wits a bit, and this question caught her interest. "Yes," she said calmly. "How?" Shirley shrugged. "Like, I don't know. I don't think it totally effected me. I was never paralyzed in the first place, or some junk." "Impossible," said Magica. "I made sure that..." Before Magica could complete her sentence though, a puff of blue smoke appeared in the corner of the room. "I am the Terror that flaps in the night," came a powerful voice from the cloud. "I am the enchantment that locks you in the Dungeon of Despair!" The smoke cleared and Darkwing Duck appeared and added, "I, am Darkwiiiiing Duck!!!" "Well it's about time," said Scrooge. "Arrest that witch!" Scrooge's statement confused Darkwing a bit, until he saw that Magica had already been subdued. It was all he could do to keep from looking totally crestfallen as Morgana flashed him the subtlest hint of a smile and said, "It's okay, Darkwing. I got her for you. Are you going to take her into custody." Darkwing swallowed hard and forced himself to take it all in stride. "Of course, Mrs. Mallard," he said with bravado as he started towards her. "It's good to see that members of Justice Ducks are always on the alert to act against fiends such as this one. But then again, I did train you all rather well, so it's not surprising." "No," said Morgana calmly, not amazed in the least that he'd figured out a way to take the credit, "I suppose it's not." "Not in the least," agreed Darkwing. Then, turning his attention to Magica, he asked, "Are you gonna come quietly, or are you gonna make things difficult?" "I'll go," said Magica with resignation. Then, looking at Shirley, she added, "But first, I want to know how you broke free of my spell. I made sure that no duck could resist the incantation." "Oh," said Shirley as a look of realization formed on her face. "That was your mistake," she explained. "I am only, like, a Duck by marriage, or some junk. In reality, I'm totally a Loon!" Magica took that information in and looked at Shirley with real malice in her eyes. "We'll meet again, Loon. That's a promise," and she started to wiggle her arm a bit in its mystical bonds. "Look out!" shouted Morgana, but it was too late. As Magica squinted her eyes shut, a handful's worth of foof bombs fell out of her sleeve and flashed simultaneously as they hit the ground. It was several minutes before everyone had regained their senses, and once they had, Magica was gone. "Scrooge!" said Darkwing with alarm. "Your dime?" Scrooge withdrew the string that held the old coin from his pocket. "I've still got it," he said. "I think she was more worried about getting away than anything else at this point." Darkwing shook his head. "So she'll try again?" "She always does," said Scrooge. "She always does." "Yeah, whatever," said Plucky as he pushed his way forward. "Darkwing Duck? My name's Plucky. We met once before, a long time ago. Can I interest you in a job?" "You might," said Darkwing. "After all, I do have a lot to offer. Still, I'd need to know exactly what you have in mind. I mean, it has to be a position worthy of my many and impressive talents." As the two men walked away to discuss business, Morgana tapped Shirley on the shoulder and asked, "So do you think things will always be this looney around here?" "Like, I hope so," said Shirley with a grin as she winked at Morgana. "Otherwise it could get, like, real dull, or some junk." The End? This story was written basically for two reasons. For the fun of it, and to see if I could pull it off. Plucky Duck, Shirley the Loon, Acme Loo, Daffy Duck and all related Tiny Toons and Looney Tunes things created and owned by Warner Bros. Used without permission but with great fondness and respect. Drake (Darkwing Duck) Mallard, Morgana McCawber, Gosalyn Mallard, Launchpad McQuack and all other DWD related things created and owned by Walt Disney Co. Used without permission but with great fondness and respect. Scrooge McDuck, Donald Duck, Huey, Dewey & Louie, Magica De Spell, Old Number One and all other things related to Uncle Scrooge Comic Books created by Carl Barks and owned by Walt Disney Co. Used without permission but with great fondness and respect. Beth Webfoot created by Rebecca Littlehales. Used WITH permission and great fondness and respect. Realizing that this story has the potential to launch a series of stories, any interested fanfic writer is hereby granted permission to write one. However, the author urgently requests that Scrooge, Donald and Huey, Dewey & Louie, if used, follow the Barks mold and NOT the DuckTales one. The author wishes to thank the following individuals for their help and suggestions on how to make this story a better one. Many of these suggestions were so good that I actually made use of them. There were also a few excellent suggestions that I did not follow, but should have. I did not make use of these suggestions because I could not figure out a legitimate way to incorporate them into the narrative. Anyway, those most helpful people were: Mike Demico (RRQUEST@AOL.com) Kim McFarland (Negaduck9@AOL.com) Rebecca Littlehales (littlrs0@sisters.salem.edu) and Steve Kehoe (Kelnic@AOL.com) Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou. Released to both the Tiny Toon Adventures Fan Fiction Mailing List and the DAFT mailing list. For information about the TTA list, send an e-mail message to HKUriah@AOL.com. For information about DAFT, send an e-mail message to Honywumpus@aol.com I should also point out that the idea that Scrooge has detectives keeping watch over Magica, who calls them spies, comes from Don Rosa's incredible, and first, Magica story, "On A Silver Platter" It can be found in Uncle Scrooge Adventures issue number 20, if you are interested in reading it. Thanks for reading, I hope you all enjoyed it. "Let the show begin!"