DIZZIES By Ryan Farnsworth On the far side of the galaxy, lying on an a small moon, is an intergalactic maximum security prison. Inside, behind thousands of locked cell doors, are brutal savage beasts, locked away for eternity. The animals snarl at each other in anger and hunger, chewing on the cell doors. A door slides open as the shadowy figure of the warden silences the prisoners. The animals shrink back in fear at the sight of their warden. Warden Elmyra. "Hello my cuddly wuddly aminals." The animals shriek and scream in horror while others scratch franticly at the wall trying to escape. Elmyra paces through slowly, waving and smiling at all the animals. She suddenly stopped in front of one of cells and pulled out her keys to the doors. In front of her stood a large sign over the cell. It read: DIZZIES. Dizzies were one of the most fearful predators in space. There appetite knew no limits. They would eat anything or anyone. Elmyra unlocked the door and went inside. "Dizzy wizzies? Where are you?", she called. She heard low growling from underneath a bed being held up by chains. The mattress had been torn to shreds and teeth marks surrounded the wall. Elmyra got down on all fours from a distance and gazed under the bed. She smiled and waved at six pairs of glowing red eyes. "Come on out! Look what Auntie Elmyra has for you," she said holding up a juicy holiday ham. The Dizzies's eyes widened. They jumped onto the ham and began chewing loudly. The Dizzies were no bigger than the size of a chicken because Elmyra fed them so little. Elmyra was a little below average when it came to intelegence but even she knew better than to over feed the Dizzies. The six purple furballs practicly inhaled the ham. It was gone in less than a few seconds."That's enough for today," she said yanking the bone out from under them."Bye-bye til tomorrow," she said waving. But the Dizzies weren't finished. One of them hurled himself at Elmyra, sinking it's sharp teeth into one of her fingers. "Ooooooooooowwwwwwwww!!!!" she yelled waving her arm up and down trying to throw the creature off. The other five focused their attention on the open cell door."Dizzy outta here", they all spoke. They whirled around and around like miniature tornadoes and sped out the door to freedom. "Wait!", Elmyra yelled throwing the Dizzy against the wall. "I have so much more love to give!" She slammed the cell door and rushed to the window in time to see the Dizzies speeding away in a spaceship from a docking bay. "I'll never catch them now," she said rushing over to a radio. "But I know who can." Deep in space, Elmyra's call for help was picked up by a pair of intergalactic bounty hunters on their way to the prison. "So that's your mission," Elmyra said briefing the hunters,"If I can't have those cuddely Dizzies, no one can" "Besides, I still have one," she said pointing to cell where the remaining Dizzy growled. "You'll get paid only when I have proof that those Dizzy heads have been destroyed." The hunters spoke not a word but looked at each other for a moment and then blasted off in pursuit of the Dizzies. The bounty hunters were burly figures completely clothed in leather. Attached to each of their belts was a laser cannon that looked like a portable bazooka. As for their faces, they were round bulbus heads who's faces were blank. The hunters turned on a monitor over their heads showing the Dizzies ship nearing a planet. A strange planet. Our planet. Earth. The hunters were a half an hour away from the Dizzies's ship as they shot through the boundries of space. Meanwhile, back on Earth, the Dizzies's ship was just landing in an open space near a large bilboard. It read: NOW ENTERING ACME ACRES. Only one thought came to their minds, FOOD! The Dizzies whirled off again but in different directions. In Acme Acres, it was a quiet night. Toons were begining to head home as it started to get dark. Unaware of what would soon happen. Babs Bunny was home in her burrow talking on the phone. Babs was pacing around the room talking with Fifi on the phone."Hey Fifi, guess what! I just found out that....." Babs paused as she gazed across her room at a pile of stuffed animals. "Fifi, can you hold on a minute?" she said putting down the phone. In the pile there were hundreds of pink and yellow stuffed animals and a strange ball of purple fur that looked like it was breathing. Babs slowly reached out to pick up the strange lump of fur when suddenly, the ball turned around snapping at Babs narrowly missing her hand. Babs ran out of her room slamming the door behind her. Babs took a moment to catch her breath. Babs heart was shooting out of her chest as she looked into the kitchen to see the refrigerator door open and another Dizzy throwing vegetables around the room. Babs raced out of the burrow leaving a trail of dust behind her. Fifi, still on the phone, was now a little worried."Babs are you zere?" One of the Dizzies approached the phone picking it up with it's furry paw. "Babs I know you're zere I can ere you breazing" The Dizzy shoved the reciever into his mouth and began to eat the phone. Fifi pulled the phone away from her ear in disgust from the loud crunching sound."Hesesterical Babs!" Fifi said slamming the phone down. Fifi decided to sleep on the whole matter as she turned off her light and began to sleep. Across town, at Hamton's house, another bizzare encounter is about to take place. Hamton sat in an easy chair with the remote control in one hand and a gigantic hero sandwhich in the other. Hamton opened his mouth wide preparing to bite into it when there was a knock at the door. Hamton placed the sandwhich on a table and went to open the door. "Hello," he said as he opened the door. But no one was there. He slammed the door and went back to his easy chair. "Probably Plucky's idea of a joke", he muttered. Hamton reached over for his sandwhich but found nothing but crumbs scattered over the table. "Now what!" Suddenly there was a loud crash in the kitchen. Hamton picked up a broom and slowly approached the kitchen. "Plucky?! If that's you I'm warning you, I'm armed!" Hamton pushed the door open. The refridgerator door was slightly open and something was behind it tossing food everywhere. Hamton pushed the door open with the broom revealing one of the Dizzies snarling with a stack of prime rib stuffed in its mouth. Hamton slowly backed away before yelling and screaming, running out the door into the night. Several more incidents were happening all over town. Meanwhile, on the other side of town a spacecraft was silently landing. Two figures emerged from the craft as the ship's thrusters powered down. The hunters had arrived. The two hunters began to walk towards the town, unstrapping their blasters from their holsters on their belts. "We'd better transform in order to blend in," one of the hunters spoke. They raised their arms revealing holographic transmitters around their wrists that looked like watches. Bright screens lit up in front of them, flashing images of Earth's personalities. Pictures of rock'n'roll groups, commercials, tv shows, and singers whizzed by. The hunters froze their screens on an episode of Tiny Toon Adventures. The images of the cartoon characters seemed to interest them. The hunter's faces began to twitch and glow. Suddenly the their faces started to shake and begin to take shape. One of the hunter's hands began to sprout blue fur. A large white striped purple tail shot out from behind the other hunter. And while the hunter's ears began to grow, the other hunter noticed a strong aroma coming from his body. Fully transformed, the hunters continued into town in search of their targets. Inside the Weenie Burger, Plucky and Shirley are having a discussion over burgers and shakes. "You know we don't have to stay here", Plucky began. "My folks are outta town for the weekend so what do ya say we..." Plucky was smacked across the face by Shirley before he could finish. "Like, get crucial Plucky!" Shirley replied slamming the hamburger over Plucky's head. "Is that a yes, no, or a maybe?" "Yo! Another burger over here", Plucky called to the waiter. But the waiter leaped over the counter screaming in panic, locking himself in the men's room. "Like, what's his problem?" "When ya gotta go ya gotta go," Plucky said shrugging. Suddenly three Dizzies popped up from behind the counter, snarling at customers. One jumped at Plucky with its mouth wide open preparing to take a bite out of the green duck. Plucky held a metal tray up in front of him just as the creature was less than an inch away. "Ouch!" the Dizzy replied leaving an imprint in the tray. Plucky grabbed Shirley's arm and ran outside slamming the door behind them. Plucky stood outside the Weenie Burger catching his breath while several toons gathered around the Weenie Burger murmuring and wondering what was happening inside. Just then, something started pushing through the crowd slowly advancing to the front. Plucky and Shirley looked on in awe as Buster and Fifi walked past the crowd. But something seemed different about them. "Since when did Buster and Fifi wear leather outfits?" "And whats with the serious firepower," Plucky continued, pointing to large blaters held in each of their hands. "Say, Buster how bout' a little help over here?!" Plucky said running in front of Buster grabbing the collar of the leather suit. The hunter's face was expressionless. He picked up Plucky by his t-shirt with one hand and flung up in the air and into Shirley's arms. "What's gotten into that rabbit?" The two hunters, in the forms of Buster and Fifi, slowly opened the front doors to the Weenie Burger and entered quietly. The place was a mess. Ketchup packets covered the floor, salads and french fries were splattered everywhere, and mustard stains coated the walls. The Dizzies were behind the counter flipping burgers, and spraying each other with cole slaw and ketchup. The Dizzies were so busy goofing off, they didn't even know the hunters were there. Fifi picked up a stool and broke it in half. She slid one of the legs of the stool through the handles of the door so the Dizzies couldn't escape. The hunters stood there with their weapons pointing at the Dizzies. Fifi grinned as she starred at the Dizzies through the sights of her blaster. The Dizzies slowly gazed up and spoke two words,"UH OH!" An erruption of sparks flew from the barrel of the gun blowing one of the Dizzies apart. Several more shots filled the air knocking the purple hairballs to the ground. One leaped for the door. But the door wouldn't budge an inch. The Dizzy whirled into a tornado and shot through the window, shattering the glass. Minutes later outside, all was quiet. As the smoke inside began to clear, all that was left of the Dizzies were a few peices of singed purple fur. The hunters walked outside to hundreds of roaring toons. They cheered and applauded as the hunters passed them. Hamton came towards them."Hey Buster! What'd I miss?" Hamton began. "Hi, Fifi", Hamton said blushing a little. Fifi's face began to glow and twitch again. Her purple fur faded and her tail was sucked in from behind her. Hamton suddenly passed out. Standing before him was the hunter, but in Hamton's image. The two hunters were about to leave when Buster turned and fired into a bush narrowly missing Plucky. Plucky suddenly had an overwhelming urge to join Hamton. Plucky fainted. Shirley pushed aside the bush revealing a pile of ash with a beanie on top of it that used to be the Dizzy. Hamton picked up the beanie and put it in his pocket."Mission complete," Buster said. Just then Fifi and Babs walked over."Who are you guys?" Babs questioned. Buster and Hamton just turned and began to walk back to their ship. Fifi began to follow them. "At least give me your phone numbair! Maybe you need a secretary no?" "Poor Fifi, when will she learn?" Babs said. Suddenly Babs saw Fifi overhead in the bounty hunter's ship. "Fifi where are you going?!" "To find love in ze final fronteer!" The next day, everyone tried to forget the bizarre incident that happened that night. But it would not be long forgotten. Inside one of the trash bins at Weenie Burger, lay seven eggs. Seven purple speckled eggs. Seven Dizzy eggs. THE END?! ATTENTION ALL AUTHORS: Should the hunters return to finish the job? Who's form should they take on? Ideas, comments, or suggestions are welcome. E-Mail at FARNSO@AOL.com