Hi there fellow TTA fans! My name's Sean Campbell (aka Martin Doyle aka Dr. Finbar Zapek Solar) and I've been a huge TTA fan since 1994 when Irish television first showed The Horror of Slumber Party Mountain. Although I have been writing short stories for quite some time now, this piece marks the first occasion that I have attempted to use someone else's characters within the narrative. This story won't please everyone because it lacks the humour of TTA and is told in a serious style. A previous attempt to write a comedy piece turned out to be a complete disaster so I thought it best not to try anything like that again. It's also a tale of the crossover variety, featuring several supporting characters taken from books and film. A full list of copyright details can be found at the end of the story, along with an explanation of where these characters come from for those who don't know. If you have any opinions or questions about this tale then don't hesitate to contact me at FinbarZapek@Ireland.com. Whether your opinion is good or bad I'd love to hear from you. Note: Because I live in Ireland, some of the words contained use European style spelling ie. Colour instead of Color. I've done this because my spellchecker would have been driven mad otherwise. Fifi's dialogue was bad enough... So without further delay, here it is. DANCERS AT THE EDGE OF ETERNITY PROLOGUE I washed myself twice in the coldness of the Dragol, wet hands held to a dripping and heavily bearded face as I immersed myself fully into the calm waters. The sun gleamed dully from a sky still streaked with the redness of dawn, a cold breeze blowing across the grassy plain from the far north. In the distance, the sweeping forest that carpeted most of the area continued up along the inclines of a series of low hills, appearing as a bed of flattened moss to the naked eye. I enjoyed my quiet moments of solitude, the sensation of insignificance in comparison with the wonders of nature. It was something that had filled me with an extremely odd delight since childhood, a childhood that now seemed almost an eternity away. Surfacing, I glanced towards the distant Kalmar mountains, their mighty peaks snow-capped as was the case all year round. Taking several deep intakes of the cool, fresh air, I smiled. Wonderful... Simply wonderful. "Larry!" I heard Fifi's voice from just beyond the nearer trees, a distinctly worried tone fairly apparent. Making my way to the riverbank, I grabbed a hold of my cloak and spear, donning my brass coloured helmet in preparation for her arrival. She appeared a few moments later, majestic as ever in her peacock feathered head-dress and robe, her purple tinged irises glowing in the light of the rising sun. "It ees Zanzi," she said with a trembling voice. "It may be tres serious zis time." I stood in silence for a few moments, cold water lapping around my ankles. I had been expecting this moment for quite some time but I had never imagined it would happen as suddenly as this. I thought that I had prepared myself, thought that I was ready. But even as I grabbed the remainder of my clothes I felt my heartbeat intensify, my hands starting to shake. "Oh Zanzi," I muttered. "You knew this day would come too..." Staggering away from the river I followed swiftly after Fifi, both of us breaking into a run. The forest flew by us in the space of a couple of minutes, the Looniversity clock tower eventually coming into view above the higher branches. But no matter how fast we moved it never seemed to be any closer. It was almost as if time itself was slowing down. From within my chest came the beating of a heart which was now thumping uncontrollably. I was wrong... very wrong. I had never been prepared. I hadn't the courage to face this moment. "Zanzi," I cried. "Please... Please be all right." PART ONE BEYOND THE EDGE OF THE WORLD "Some kind of bird you say?" Joseph was standing directly above the spot where Brian lay quivering on his knees, the waves lapping almost silently against the nearby seashore as a warm breeze thrust his long, greasy hair out behind him like a dark veil. Despite the heavy cloud cover all three of us were sweating, Brian more than Joseph and myself put together. We had warned him not to stray off on his own but ever the adventurer he had ignored us, trying to make his way through the forest without any help. After almost an hour away he had returned in a state of sheer panic, eyes open wide in fear and confusion. It had taken us close to twenty minutes just to calm him down, another ten to finally get him to talk some sense. Only now did he seem ready to recount his tale. "It was a bird all right," he whispered after a few moments. "Small with green feathers. There was a strange sort of crest on its head... Looked a bit like an open umbrella." "Hardly something to get hysterical about," continued Joseph. "How big was it?" "Only about a foot or so high," expressed Brian. "But stranger than anything I've ever seen before. It didn't look like a real bird should. It looked almost like..." He paused briefly, holding one hand to the side of his head and staring towards me. "Almost like a painting come to life." "You can't be serious!" I exclaimed. "You must have imagined it." "Imagined!" shouted Brian as he rose to his feet, black jeans encrusted with white sand. "I imagined nothing! The thing was real I tell you. I'll never forget those black beady eyes and the way they looked at me." The three of us remained silent for the next five minutes or so, all feeling the same distinct sensation of fear. It had been almost six hours now since our arrival on this deserted stretch of beach, an arrival made all the more frightening by virtue of the fact that none of us could remember the journey. One moment we had been enjoying a quiet drink on the train bound for Dublin, the next, finding ourselves face down in warm, white sand. It seemed as if the change of location had been instantaneous but all of us agreed that this would have been impossible. We couldn't have just appeared here. It wouldn't be feasible. Yet here we were with nothing but the clothes upon our backs, jeans and short sleeved shirts against the harshness of the wild. If there were miracles in the world then it would appear that we had just unwittingly encountered one. It was Joseph who broke the silence. "Regardless of what you think you saw, we need to find out where we are and that means getting off this beach and trying to make our way through that forest. We'll have to come across a road or something sooner or later. I say we move fast because it can't be long till nightfall." "What about following the shoreline?" I suggested. "And face those cliffs?" he expressed, pointing towards the monoliths of rock that lay in both directions. "You must have a death wish Larry." I said nothing, realising that he was right. It would seem that a passage through the forest was indeed our only option. It came as no surprise that Brian wasn't eager for a second journey. Shaking his head from side to side he rose slowly to his feet and started walking towards the breaking waves where he stood in silence and stared blankly at the misty horizon. "We're all dead," he said after a short while. "The train probably derailed or something. I bet the police are digging our bodies out of the wreckage right now." "Shut up," I shouted. "We don't know what's going on and you shouldn't be making wild guesses like that. We'll be hysterical within an hour at this rate." Brian simply laughed, casting his eyes downward. It seemed pretty clear to both Joseph and myself that he was close to a breakdown. "We'll have to get him moving Joe," I whispered. "I don't know what he saw in that forest but whatever it was it scared him pretty bad." "Give him an hour," replied Joseph. "If he hasn't calmed down by then we'll have to leave him behind... We can always come back for him later if we find someone." All I could do was nod. As heartless as it may sound we initially set off without Brian, both of us assuring him that we'd be back as soon as we found help. About five minutes after entering the darkness of the forest however, we heard some rustling in the undergrowth behind us and turning around we saw that he was following. In his left hand he held a long, twisted branch, his face so devoid of expression that it was remarkable. "We're all in this together," he declared. "I won't be left behind." And without a further word he simply continued on after us. For the next half hour or so we gradually worked our way deeper and deeper into a maze of trees and tight clumps of foliage. A number of times we disturbed small, brown furry animals that would dart swiftly away before we could get a good look at them. About the size of mice, they made a slight squealing noise as we encroached on their territory. They were far too small for us to be bothered by their presence however, the encounters finally becoming so frequent that we came to simply ignore them. The trees extended upwards to a height of perhaps sixty feet or more, a thick canopy of branches reducing the sunlight to a series of intermittent flickers whenever there was a sizeable gap in the leaves. Joseph was in the lead by about ten feet, myself following on behind and Brian by my side. He had calmed considerably over the past while and was now walking at a slow but steady pace. He held the branch firmly within his grasp, using it to thrust aside the thick vegetation and occasionally smacking it against the side of a tree as a form of stress relief. It was only as we found ourselves approaching a sizeable clearing that I saw some of his old fear return. "This is the place," he said to me. "This is where I saw it." The clearing was perhaps fifty feet across, a small stream flowing along the centre and surrounded by a heavy covering of thick grass. Here and there were clumps of thin yellow weeds, a couple of odd, blue coloured flowers providing some variety. Once again walking ahead of us, Joseph approached the stream with caution, getting down on his knees and dipping his hands into the coldness in order to get a palm full of water. "Fresh," he expressed. "Tastes a bit strange but we haven't really got much of a choice." We all drank several mouthfuls, sitting idle for a few minutes afterwards as we allowed our sweat to dry up. It was still daylight, not quite as bright as it had been but light enough for us to see our immediate surroundings. We were surrounded by trees on all sides, the only sound coming from the rippling water. The stream was perhaps a foot across and pretty fast moving, green weeds floating by from time to time but no sign of any fish. It was this realisation that suddenly reminded us of just how hungry we were. "I suppose we could try some berries or something," suggested Joseph. "And poison ourselves!" I exclaimed. "We can't just stick anything in our mouths you know." We started to debate the possibility of climbing a tree to get at some fruit when I suddenly stood up and hushed him into silence. "Did you hear that?" I whispered. "There's something moving about in the bushes." Silence came over the clearing as we all quickly glanced around, Brian standing up and holding out his branch as a knight would his sword. "What did I tell you?" he said. "It's here... It's watching us." There came what sounded like a babble of voices from somewhere nearby, the sound of a breaking twig as something large shifted it's position. "We know you're there," I shouted. "Show yourself." Joseph was on his feet now, glancing all around and visibly frightened. There came another rustle and I thought for a moment that I saw a flash of lavender fur through some thin leaves. Even a quick glimpse was enough to tell me that whatever it was, it was fairly big. "Come on," hissed Brian. "Come on out.. Let's see you." There came another flurry of movement and this time I definitely saw something. It was only for a second and mostly hidden in darkness but the shape was pretty clear. Whatever it was it had a long, wide tail, a biped with two glowing eyes that stared towards us like light bulbs. My heart missed a beat. Behind me, I heard Joseph shout quite loudly. "Let's make a break for it... back to the beach." As he spoke the leaves of a nearby bush suddenly parted, an eternity seeming to pass before the strangest creature that I had ever seen strode into view. It was perhaps three feet in height and very obviously female, a thick covering of lavender and cream fur blanketing it's entire body. Behind it lay a long, fluffy tail and just above the left ear there was a large pink bow. It's eyes were extremely large and had an almost hypnotic quality, purple tinged irises beneath long, dark eyelashes. But perhaps the most amazing thing about the creature was that it didn't look real. It was just as Brian had described the green bird earlier on, like a painting come to life. For a period of about a minute we simply stared towards the newcomer and it stared back towards us, a loan moan coming from Joseph as he took two steps backward. My heart was thumping faster than it had ever done in my life, fear filling every fibre of my body. The creature didn't look threatening in the slightest, in fact it looked quite cute. It was just the strangeness of it... the distinct air of unreality that had suddenly filled the air. Nothing could have prepared us for what happened next. "Who are vous et why ave vous brought us to zis place?" The creature spoke! I think I screamed. Seemingly bemused by our reactions it spoke yet again. "Vous will not get away with zis. Send moi et moi friends back to where we belong at once!" Joseph fell to his knees and began to crawl away quite slowly. Brian was seemingly so frightened he had dropped his branch, his face white as a sheet. I'm pretty sure mine was too. The last thing I remember was the creature turning it's back to me and raising it's tail high. Then there was some kind of mist, a thick purple smog that seemed to come out of nowhere. Finally, in the moment before I lost consciousness I became aware of what was quite possibly the worst smell that I had ever encountered in my life. I think I was out cold before I hit the ground. I became dimly aware of my surroundings long before I was fully alert. The ground was cold but level, my fingers resting upon what felt like recently polished ceramic floor tiles. Through half opened eyes I could vaguely make out that they were set down in a chessboard pattern of distinct blacks and whites, running towards a nearby wall where a series of red metallic lockers seemed to stretch as far as I could see. A short distance away from me, a drinking fountain was set pretty low down between two of the lockers, a long, high window betraying the fact that it was dark outside. From the flickering nature of the lighting, I made the assumption that the place was lit by candles. There was something wrong, something very wrong. It took me several seconds to work out what it was. And then it hit me. Just like the tailed creature that had appeared before us in the forest, everything looked as if it were drawn. The tiles, the lockers, the drinking fountain... Everything had the same unnatural quality, everything looked as if it had been drawn. With memories of the recent past flooding back I tried to sit upright, a flurry of movement to my left as I moaned loudly. There were three creatures standing only a few inches away from me, the lavender furred one that I had already encountered and another one of around the same size that looked like a white female duck. She appeared to be wearing a pink sweater and had a sizeable mop of yellow hair, her eyes wide and intense. Standing directly behind her was another duck, this one green and dressed simply in a white vest. All three of them were looking towards me as if I was some sort of freak. I tried to clamber to my feet but my legs gave way and I fell backwards, head smacking painfully off the tiles and my eyes rolling back in my head to find themselves staring directly upward at a high, white painted ceiling. "Somebody help me," I whispered. "Do you zink he knows anyzhing?" said the lavender furred one. "I really don't know Feef," replied the white duck. "From what I can tell he seems to be like, totally afraid of us." "Ha!" expressed the green duck. "Don't believe that rouse for a minute Shirl. Look at the evil look in his eyes. He's out to get us for sure. Just you wait and see!" Ignoring him, the white duck looked directly into my eyes and smiled. "Hi," she said. "I'm Shirley. What's your name?" I wasn't too sure what to do, my head still spinning. "Larry," I said after several seconds. "Larry Sullivan. Who... What are you?" "Zat is what we were going to ask you," replied the lavender furred one. "Perhaps we should introduce ourselves kay?" said Shirley. "This here is Fifi LaFume and that dubious specimen behind her is Plucky. You'll have to get used to him." "Jeeze!" he muttered. "Maybe he is a killer but can't the guy make up his own mind?" "May as well save him the bother Plucky," she laughed. "But you all look like... You all look like cartoon characters." I spoke with a voice filled to the brim with panic, eyes darting from one creature to another as I tried desperately to keep my nerve. "Never seen a toon before Jack?" asked Plucky. "Well yes," I replied. "But only on the television." The three individuals before me seemed highly confused by my words, exchanging glances and shrugging. "Larry!" came Brian's voice from the far end of the corridor. "You have to see this place... It's unbelievable!" He was looking directly towards me and smiling broadly. Standing on either side of him was a cartoon rabbit, a pink female one in a yellow pullover and purple skirt and a blue male dressed in simply a red pullover. They were each about waist high in comparison with him. "Buster and Babs here have been showing me around," he said. "It's a school of some sort. Not like any school we went to though." "You've recovered very quickly," I said, finally managing to get up on my feet. "You've been out for almost eight hours," he replied. "Thought you were gone into a coma or something." "Eight hours!" I cried. Staggering down the corridor I grabbed a hold of his arm. "What have you found out?" I expressed. "Why are we here?" "It's a long story," he replied. "And a very strange one at that. I think we all need to have a very serious talk." About an hour later we were all sitting in a darkened classroom, my two friends and myself sitting on three tables and seven toons sitting in various positions around us. The only source of light was a long thin candle on a desk in the centre of the room, our shadows dancing as distorted monstrosities against the white painted walls. From what I could ascertain our company consisted of the two ducks and the skunk that I had already spoken to, a pair of rabbits named Buster and Babs, a coyote named Calamity and a strange green bird with an umbrella affixed to it's head. In addition to these strange creatures there were also two humans much like ourselves, an elderly looking man dressed in Edwardian style clothing and a teenage girl wearing fashions that seemed to come straight from the early 1960s. The former held a long wooden walking stick, a glint of light coming from the large blue stoned ring on middle finger of his left hand. He stood silently by the door, holding his fingers to his lapels and staring intently towards me with intense hazel eyes. As I had expected, he was the first to speak. "For the benefit of our new friends I think I should introduce myself. I am the Doctor and this young lady by my side is my granddaughter Susan." "Pleased to meet you," she smiled. "And like everyone else," the Doctor continued, "we would appreciate an insight into our current situation." He looked directly towards me once again and held out his walking stick. "So what is your story young man?" he asked in an authoritative manner. His voice was so commanding I didn't think twice about answering. "We just found ourselves on a beach," I explained. "We don't know how or why. Brian here decided to go exploring and he came back ranting about some strange green bird". "At your service!" expressed the green bird in a high pitched voice as he leapt onto a table. "If you're scared of me you're Cuckoo!" I looked towards Joseph, unsure of how to react. "But what about ze journey?," asked Fifi. "Do vous recall anyzhing about eet?" "Nothing," I answered. "Nothing at all. One moment we were sitting on a train, the next... we were just here. Can't remember a thing." "We cannot recall anyzhing either," continued the skunk. "One moment we were in class and ze next... we looked out ze window and ze Looniversity had moved! Quelle strange." "Not only that," said Babs. "All of our friends and teachers have vanished. Only a few hours ago there were hundreds of students here... Now there's just the seven of us." Buster held her hand tightly as she spoke, a distinct glint around her eyes betraying the presence of repressed tears. "We can't do wild takes anymore either," he said after a few moments. "I've tried but it just doesn't work. I don't know why." I had no idea as to what a wild take was but I said nothing. As the rabbits spoke Calamity held up sign with "I don't understand any of this and I'm supposed to be a genius" written on it, an action that only served to confuse me even further. "Grandfather and myself suddenly found ourselves in the forest out there," said Susan after a few moments. "There was no sign of our friends Ian and Barbara or even the Tardis... just us alone in the woods. We saw the clock tower of this building and made our way here. We met Shirley and Plucky soon afterwards." "So what you're all trying to say is that no one here has any idea as to what's going on," said Joseph. "Fer sure," replied Shirley. "Is there anyone else but us?" I asked. "Nada," replied Plucky. "Just what you see." I looked towards Brian and Joseph and they looked back towards me. It would seem that we were in serious trouble. I made an attempt to sleep fully clothed on a pile of cushions in the staff room but no matter how hard I tried I just couldn't drift off. By the break of dawn I was already up and pretty restless, wandering barefoot through the near deserted corridors of the Looniversity in a half dazed state. The amount of light coming in through the high windows wasn't particularly generous but everything was clearly visible in a pale outline of blue. Although the world about me still felt like some mad, distorted dream, I was now firmly of the opinion that it was all very real. I ran my fingers along the cold metallic surfaces of the lockers as I passed, the very texture of the red paint work against my skin confirming the reality of the situation. From all around came the scent of melted wax from the now extinguished candles, a cold chill brushing against my face from somewhere further ahead. This was definitely no dream. Perhaps I had gone mad. Checking on Brian and Joseph in their respective sleeping places, I saw that they obviously weren't suffering from the same insomnia as myself. Both of them were out for the count, Brian nestled under a desk in one of the classrooms and Joseph sleeping on top of a snooker table in the teacher's lounge. I didn't bother to wake either of them. It was on a table in the corner of the teacher's lounge that I came across a bowl of strange looking fruit, a collection of yellow ovals each about the size of a tennis ball. The skin was quite hard and hairy in places but they peeled easily enough and such was my hunger I ate three in a row without considering the consequences. They tasted slightly too sweet but they were passable and I placed another in my pocket before continuing my wanderings. Traipsing into what looked like a wide reception area I saw the main entrance and daylight beyond, realising that the chilly breeze was gently blowing inwards from the half open door. Outside lay a downward sloping flight of red stone steps, two massive statues on either side of the subsequent lane way. Like the inhabitants of the Looniversity the statues were of toons, a rabbit and a duck dressed in teacher's robes. Wandering into the morning air, I felt the coldness of the breeze against my face, closing my eyes as I took several deep intakes of breath. Seen from the outside the Looniversity was pretty large, at least three stories high with a clock tower rising about seventy feet or so in a central position. I noticed that the hands upon the face of the clock seemed to have stopped in the five to three position, a large grey bird that looked a bit like an oversized owl perched just above it. It seemed to cock its head to one side as it observed me, a few moments passing before it extended its wings and fluttered away silently into the dull, cloudy sky. Drawing my eyes away from it, I sat myself down on the steps for several minutes, watching my breath drift away like heavy steam and feeling my muscles ache from tiredness. Beyond the statues, the thin lane way stretched away for perhaps twenty feet or more. After that it got lost in thick bushes and eventually dense forest. What lurked beyond I had no idea. The dark, twisting forest was a breathtaking view of nature at it's most splendid but at the same time it was strangely threatening, an object of beauty which disturbed the watcher with its sense of mystery. "Trying to work out where we are?" I turned my head to see Buster standing beside me, the dazed look in his eyes indicating that he hadn't been able to sleep either. He was now dressed in a grey night-shirt, a sleeping cap hiding his long furry ears from view. I didn't bother to ask how he had come by his change of clothing. "I couldn't sleep either," he yawned, sitting down by my side. "So I went for a walk too". Although still slightly bothered by the fact that he was a three foot tall rabbit I found myself speaking to him as if he were any other person. "I know this place is called the Acme Looniversity," I said after a few moments. "But what is it... a school of some kind?" "Sure it is," replied Buster. "The best school for toons there is. You see the statue there, the one of the rabbit? That's Bugs Bunny, the best teech we had. He was my mentor." "Bugs Bunny?" I muttered. "Surely not the same Bugs Bunny from those old cartoons?" "The one and only," replied Buster with a broad smile. "But he's not real," I expressed, clambering to my feet. "He's a fictional character- just imaginary." "You really think that?" asked Buster with a look of surprise. "I know him well and he seems pretty real enough to me." "But..." I couldn't say any more, sitting back down and feeling an odd chill run through my bones. "Hey," said Buster after a few moments. "Where do you come from anyway?" "Dublin," I muttered. "I'm Irish. I was on my way home on the train when all this happened. Me and my friends had just been on a long weekend in Co. Cork. Believe it or not we actually thought we had experienced the strangest three days of our lives while we were there. We got caught up in a bank raid and were held hostage by a gunman for almost ten hours. Joseph saved the day in the end. He managed to wrestle the gun away from the guy after tricking him into believing he would help him get the money out of the country. Brave man indeed." "Wow!" expressed Buster. "Sounds like the plot to a movie of the week." "I know," I laughed. The rabbit's expression suddenly changed to one of confusion, staring directly at me with his huge, saucer plate eyes. "Don't they have toons in Dublin?" he asked slowly. "Toons aren't real where I come from," I maintained. "I don't even know how I can be talking to you now. This is far too real to be a dream." "I'm pretty sure I'm not a dream," said Buster, grabbing a hold of my hand and placing it to his wrist. His fur was quite soft and carefully brushed, holding within it the distinct feeling of warmth which could only come from a living creature. "There," he asked with a smile. "Can't you feel that pulse?" I nodded. "I'm just as real as you then," he continued. "We're all real. Me, Babs, Fifi, Plucky... Nothing fictional about us at all." "What about those other two humans here- Susan and the Doctor?" I asked. "Real too I presume," expressed Buster. "Although Plucky seems to think he's seen the old man somewhere before." "Up bright and early I see," came a voice from behind us and both turning around we saw Shirley standing just inside the doorway. "Out to watch the sunrise or some junk?" She was still dressed in her pink sweater, her yellow beak curled into a kindly grin. "Out for a breath of fresh air," I expressed. "I don't know why but I had the funny feeling that I might just find some answers out here." Then, glancing upwards I suddenly thought of something. "Does either one of you know how I can get up on that clock tower?" About ten minutes later I was enjoying a panoramic view of the entire area from seventy-five feet in the air. It was a fantastic spectacle but at the same time there wasn't much to see. I clawed at the grey brickwork of a support pillar with both hands as the wind blew harshly against my body, blinking twice before focusing in on the surrounding countryside. In front of the Looniversity lay the forest, a massive dark area of tall, closely knit trees and beyond that, a grassy plain that stretched far and wide into the distance. Far away to the left was the shoreline and the golden glimmer of the rising sun upon the surface of the ocean. I tried to follow the arc of the coast as far as I could see, noticing that it curved northward about four or five miles away, stretching into the misty distance and eventual invisibility. A range of mountains shimmered on the horizon, a thick dark band that was a flowing river clearly visible just beyond the boundary of the forest. There was no sign of life anywhere. No buildings, no roads, not even traces of smoke. Just clean wilderness extending in all directions except out to sea. Moving to the opposite side of the tower I saw that the view was mostly the same, no mountains this time but a series of low hills in the distance and a large shining area that I took to be a sizeable lake. Wherever we were it was a pretty big place, obviously not an island or peninsula. I wondered where it was. Alaska? I'd never been there but I assumed it would be a lot colder. Russian Tundra perhaps? Some part of Australia or Asia? I brushed each suggestion aside with growing apprehension. It could be that it was none of those places.... Maybe it was nowhere. I looked up into the dull morning, glancing towards a large break in the cold cover and the glowing blue that was the sky beyond. No sign of any vapour trails. Brian may have been right when he suggested we were dead... Was it possible that this could be some sort of extremely distorted afterlife? I was distracted in my thoughts by the arrival of Shirley and Buster, both of them standing by my right side and staring into the distance. "If we were still in Acme Acres the city would be about there," said Buster as he pointed a white gloved finger towards the gleaming lake. "My burrow right in the middle of those trees and the local Weenie Burger's slam bang in the centre of that hill." He stopped talking at the sound of a low sobbing and turning around I saw that Shirley was holding a handkerchief to her beak and choking back tears. "We're never going to see home again," she whispered, rubbing a white feathered hand across her large, blue eyes. "My parents... I'll never be able to talk to them again. I don't even have a photo to remember them by." Buster drew her close and held his hand to the side of her bill. "Dry those eyes Shirl," he said. "You'll see them again. I'm sure of it." Shirley looked at him and tried to smile. "You forget I'm psychic," she said. He cuddled her tightly as she once again began to cry. In the Looniversity science lab I came across the Doctor, Susan and Calamity. The Doctor was examining something that looked like a silver coloured the telescope, a monocle clasped tightly in his right eye. Calamity was standing next to him and whenever the old man would hold out his left hand, the coyote would pass him a tool of some sort. There were bits and pieces scattered all over the workbenches, a box full of screwdrivers perched perilously close to the edge of the nearest table to me. Sliding it into a somewhat safer position I glanced towards Susan who was sitting on a small, three legged stool. "What are they playing at?" I asked. "Grandfather thinks he can find out where we are," she replied. "He says there's enough equipment here in this lab for him to build more or less anything." "Such as?" I queried. "A Radionscoper young man," expressed the Doctor without looking upward. "When I get it working there's no reason why I won't be able to tell you our location immediately." "Have any theories?" I asked. "I never speculate about anything Mr. Saunders," he snapped. "I'll tell you when I'm sure." Not bothering to point out the fact that he got my name wrong I turned towards Calamity. "What about you?," I asked. The coyote remained silent, both hands full of tools. "Don't you talk like the others?" "I don't think he can," said Susan with a smile. "He usually writes all his answers on a sign." Suddenly pausing in his actions, the Doctor put down his tools and looked directly towards me with a look of intense curiosity in his eyes. "What may I enquire young man was the year when you got into that train?" "Nineteen eighty five," I replied. "March 19th." "The toons seem to be of the opinion that where they come from it's 1990," he said. "There's a few calendars around that seem to confirm it too. What does that suggest to you hmm?" "I don't know," I muttered. "What's it supposed to suggest?" "I'll tell you then," he said with a slight hint of laughter to his voice. "We've all been taken out of time that's what. The only question now is why?" "What year is it where you come from then?" I asked. "It's a long time since Grandfather and I have been tied down to one time zone," answered Susan after the Doctor failed to reply. "We're travellers in time and space. Of no fixed abode you might say." "You mean you have a time machine?" I exclaimed. "Oh the Tardis is much more than just a time machine," she responded. "We can go anywhere in the history of any planet in the universe. Well, we would if Grandfather would take more time to master the controls." "I know all there is to know about the ship," the Doctor said loudly without looking up from his tinkering. "It just doesn't know all there is to know about me." Susan simply grinned, shaking her head slowly from side to side. "You'll have to excuse Grandfather," she whispered. "He's gets just a little cranky from time to time." I accepted their claims of time travel without so much as blinking, mind now fully open to more or less anything. If ducks, skunks and rabbits could talk then I could just about believe anything and smiling, I wandered out of the lab. As I exited the Doctor held out his hand once again, Calamity placing a small hammer into his outstretched palm. "Quite the young genius aren't you my boy?" he smiled at the coyote. Silent as ever, Calamity simply nodded. I met Fifi in the corridor, a slightly worried look appearing on the young skunk's face as she saw me approach. "Eet is Larry non?" I came to a stop, nodding as I looked down at her. "I ave to tell you zat I am tres sorry about what happened yesterday," she said with a slight hint of guilt in her voice. "I did not mean to spray you but I was, how you say, tres frightened non?" "Don't worry about it," I replied. "I was pretty scared too." "I heard zat you were unconscious for a very long time. It will never happen again, I promise you zat." I knelt down by her side, placing my right hand on her soft furry head and gently stroking her left ear with my thumb. I could clearly see that the worry had been playing on her mind for some time. "It's okay," I said with a smile. "I was hardly mortally wounded now, was I?" She gave a slight giggle and her eyes seemed to light up. "I was so worried zat you would not like me," she said. "I try to make ze good impression whenever I am able." "I notice that you've got a French accent," I asked after a few moments. "The others seem to be American... Shirley especially. Was the Acme Looniversity multicultural or were you just a rare case?" "I zink zere was an Otter from Norway in ze year below moi but aside from zat I was as you say, ze rare case." "Well then," I laughed. "I think us European citizens should stick together, don't you?" "Oui," she replied, a broad smile forming just below her pink coloured nose. "I do indeed." After I had stopped off to get my shoes, Fifi and I made our way outside, walking towards the fringes of the forest to where my two freshly awakened friends were gathered along with Babs and Plucky. They were all staring upwards and following their gaze I saw that their eyes were fixed on a series of orange and red spheres that were gathered in groups of five amongst the uppermost branches. "What's the story?" I asked as I came within speaking distance. "Looks like we've found our food supply," answered Joseph. "Not much variety but I suppose it'll have to do." "I already tried some this morning," I said. "The taste is a bit strange but I suppose it's the best we're going to get." "There's always those things in the forest that looked like mice," said Brian. "I suppose we could stoop to that level if we get desperate." "I saw a river from the clock tower," I said, pointing into the distance. "A lake too. They both look about ten minutes walk from here but at least we'll have drinking water." "We already know about the water," expressed Plucky with a hint of annoyance. "Pink ears here made me carry three bucket fulls back to the Loo yesterday. She said she'd help me cheat on my next maths test but I reckon she lied." "Let's just hope there is a next maths test," countered Babs. "I don't want to be stuck in this place for the rest of my life. You guys are talking as if we're here for good. What about my family? What about my career?" "How tragic!" snarled the green duck. "I'm sure the world will never survive without Babs and her brilliant career." "I never thought even you could be that callous Plucky!" she shouted. "Aren't you afraid that you'll never see your family again? What about Hamton? He was your best pal and now he's gone. Aren't you even the slightest bit upset or bothered by that?" "I still have Shirl," he replied. "I'm sure that's a great consolation for her," hissed Babs. "Shut up ze pair of vous!" screamed Fifi. "We ave to try and keep our heads togetzer." "I agree," I said. "The last thing we need is to be at each other's throats." "She started it," muttered Plucky. "Don't look at me." I shook my head slowly from side to side. This didn't bode well. "Where's the Dodo?" I asked after a few seconds in an attempt to change the subject. "I haven't seen him all morning." "He likes to keep to himself," answered Fifi. "He ees probably gone off wandering. Eet was he who discovered ze fruit here yesterday and got eet down from ze trees." "I reckon we've all got little skills that can help us out," I continued. "Gogo can climb obviously. The Doctor and that coyote seem to be pretty smart so they might be able to find out where we are." "Shirl can read minds," muttered Plucky. "Much to my dismay of course." "And Fifi here has that scent," I added, patting her head gently as if to show that there was no offence intended. "As I know only too well." "Is there some point to all this?" asked Plucky with a look of extreme boredom. "I just feel that if we all work together and get along then there's a pretty good chance of survival," I answered. "We don't know how long were going to be stuck here so we better plan for the worst and the best way of starting is to avoid conflict whenever possible." "A good idea non?" said Fifi, looking towards everyone. To my great surprise they all nodded. "You might just have a point there Larry," said Brian. "You might just have a point indeed." I think we all spent those first few days living in the constant hope that we would wake up one morning to find ourselves back in our own beds at home. But as these days ran into weeks it soon became apparent that no such miracle was imminent and the more cynical amongst us began to suspect that our stay here was destined to be a very long one. I have to admit that I was such a like minded person. I inwardly knew that everything wasn't going to work out, that it was extremely foolish to expect such a neat tidying up of our troubles. I think I had known it since those first few moments on the beach. Perhaps this was why the others started looking up to me like some kind of leader. Without giving time over to hoping for a safe return home I was prepared to concentrate on our immediate survival. Together with Fifi and the Doctor, I began to draw up a series of tasks that would have to be achieved in order for us to live as normal a life as possible. The first of these was the regular provision of food and water. It was decided that at least two of us would travel into the forest each and every morning in order to gather fruit and berries, a task that in later days would be expanded to include hunting game. Buster and Babs fashioned long spears for such a purpose from the longer branches, an armoury that was soon augmented by the inclusion of bows and arrows. Our first samplings of meat came from a creature that we came to call foresthogs. These animals were quite small, no bigger than a rat and they moved slowly enough for us to capture them easily. The meat tasted quite similar to mutton and for almost three weeks it formed the best part of our diet. After both Calamity and Susan became violently ill from eating it however, we decided to cut down on our consumption, our meals gradually becoming vegetarian in nature as the days progressed. Early in the fourth week, Buster, Babs and myself began construction of a deep trench in the earth just outside the Looniversity's main entrance. Within ten days we had succeeded in our objective, to make the trench both long enough and deep enough to carry water from the nearby river to our doorstep. We named the river the Dragol and as time went by it became the life and soul of our little community, a place from which we drank, washed and had fun. Although swimming was the only real recreational activity that we could all enjoy, both Joseph and the Doctor enjoyed exploring the surrounding area. On each little expedition they got further and further away, sometimes reaching distances of up to ten miles or more. They would always come back with the same news however. No sign of anyone or anything, nothing but wild countryside as far as the eye could see. I think Joseph put it best when he said it was almost as if we had fallen off the edge of the world. We were nowhere. No time or place but simply nowhere, lost in a world that had swallowed us whole. Despite his claims that the radionscoper was working correctly the Doctor never did work out where we were but he did come up with a belief that scared us all. Apparently the stars were in the wrong position for us to be still in Earth's part of the galaxy. I was no astronomer so I couldn't verify this but according to both Calamity and Shirley he was correct. If this were indeed the case then it would seem that we were in very serious trouble indeed. It was a idea that none of us liked to think about. Because we had no electricity we were forced to make candles on a regular basis, a skill that Calamity soon made his own. After a few weeks he had managed to construct a small, hand operated device that would mix the relevant materials and then cut the newly manufactured wax into suitable shapes. Although he couldn't make nearly enough to light all of the Looniversity at any one time, what we did have was sufficient to keep the fear away during the long hours of darkness. There were enough rooms in the building to ensure that we all had our own private quarters and after spending the first few nights in the staff room I quickly adopted it as my own. It was pretty spacious and over a short period of time it gradually filled with my trinkets. These included a candle holder that I had carved from wood, some unusual seashells that I had found on the beach and perhaps my most treasured possession, a strange painting that Shirley had drawn with materials from the art room. It was an odd self portrait, a close up of the duck's face with a large, dark, owl like bird in the background. Both her eyes were closed tightly, an odd glow permeating from her forehead. When I had asked her what it meant she said she didn't know, it had apparently just come to her. Regardless of meaning I quite liked it, hanging it just above the pile of cushions that served as my bed. It made for a welcome splash of colour. As time went on I gradually got to know all our companions on a personal basis, many hours spent discussing our pasts and our hopes for the future. I became very close to Fifi over this time and she would often tell me about her life back in Acme Acres and before that in her native France. Sometimes she would talk for hours on end, continuing on for long after everyone else had gone to sleep and there were many occasions when I would wake up in the mornings to find her curled up in a corner across the room, her long striped tail serving as a natural pillow. This became such a regular occurrence in time that on the rare occasions when she was absent I would go straight to her room to make sure she was okay. It soon began to dawn to me that if I ever did manage to get home someday I would miss her very dearly indeed. We were all growing very tight knit and seemed to have our individual favourites. Brian spent most of the time with Buster and Babs, Joseph with Shirley. The Doctor, Susan and Calamity became natural companions. The only loners amongst us were Plucky and Gogo. The dodo was odd by nature and his constant disappearances were according to the other toons quite normal. Plucky's behaviour on the other hand wasn't. Most of the time he would wander the corridors alone, spending many hours by himself in his room or exploring the forest. Despite his well maintained front of bravado it was quite clear that he was the most frightened of us all. There were many times when I could clearly see pain in his eyes but he never seemed to want to talk about it. Always exploring, always hiding himself away... It was as if his mind was filling up with everyone else's suppressed emotions. He really did miss his family and his good friend Hamton. He missed them all so badly that on many occasions he seemed to be on the point of tears. "He'll get over it in time,", Buster had told me. "We all will". But I wasn't so sure. Until the day when we all found out exactly where we were the inner worries would never desert us. We could try and hide them deep down inside but they would always surface, always be ready to appear at any moment. Despite the differences in physical appearance we were all the same within. PART TWO A WIDENING CANVAS It was late in the third month when Joseph approached me with his suggestion. I was perched high up in the clock tower as I was prone to do in the mornings, sniffing in the fresh air as I surveyed the little patch of civilisation that we had constructed. The early morning light flickered off the wide stretch of water that was our reservoir, a fifty foot in diameter lake that was perhaps our crowing achievement. It had taken all of us almost five weeks to construct, small tributaries flowing away here and there which served as areas where we could drink, wash and swim. We also had a small pool for the purposes of going to the bathroom, a thin stream that connected with the one in the forest and eventually led to the sea. Beyond the reservoir lay a wide vegetable patch, an exercise that had been mainly overseen by Shirley. She had discovered some large, potato like vegetables while out walking through the forest one day and had taken some of them back to the Looniversity in order for us to try them out. They tasted good and thankful of a change from fruit and berries we planted a large amount of the roots within a short distance of our dwelling. Two weeks had gone by since that day but nothing was showing yet despite the recent rainfall. It was evident that I wasn't a very patient farmer. I became aware of Joseph's presence as he appeared by my side, his brown eyes focusing in on the distant mountain range that we had come to call the Kalmars. "Do you ever wonder what's out there?" he asked me. "Beyond those mountains. Beyond the horizon?" "Every day," I answered. "We all do. You know that." Suddenly turning to look directly at me, he smiled. "I have a proposition then". I didn't answer but I think my expression clearly displayed my interest. "We've all been working hard this last while," he continued. "We finished the reservoir and the vegetable patch and we've built up enough supplies of candles and weapons to last us at least a hundred years. I think the time has come for us to try and get some answers." "Care to tell me how?" "An expedition of course! Me, Brian, the Doctor, Buster and Babs. We'll set out on a journey- travel as far as we can and see what we find". "But you'll never survive out there!" I exclaimed in shock. "We've survived here," he answered. "We know how to hunt and protect ourselves. We know which berries and fruits are safe to eat. Survival won't be a problem." "But we need you here. We all have to work together just to stay alive. Our little system will fall to bits without you." "Rubbish!" he exclaimed. "There'll still be seven others here. If you all work just that little bit harder you'll have no problems whatsoever." "I still say it's a bad idea," I continued. "What if something happens to you?" "We're going to have to start taking some risks sooner or later," he said. "We can't just sit idle in this place forever. The others have already agreed and the Doctor seems to be pretty excited about it. The bunnies think it's a great idea too." "What about Brian?" I asked. "After that day on the beach I'm not too sure he could go through an ordeal like that." "It'll do him some good," replied Joseph. "Besides, he gets on great with Buster and Babs. They're best pals at this stage." I said nothing, staring down towards the reservoir and feeling the cool chill of the breeze on my face. Joseph was right. We couldn't just stay here forever. One way or another we had to find out what was going on. Slowly turning to face my old friend I said nothing, the silence telling all. "We leave in two days," he smiled, laying a hand on my shoulder. "Don't worry Larry, we'll be back. If we haven't found anything within two weeks we'll turn straight around." "Is that a promise?" He nodded slowly, smiling as he turned to face the distant Kalmars. In a small way, I felt slightly better. The day for departure came quickly and as the sun began to rise the five companions stood ready to face the elements. Carrying backpacks they had found in the Looniversity they faced the dawn each with a steely gaze of determination, the Doctor standing out in front with his cane held firmly within the grasp of his right hand and the sunlight glinting off his blue ring. Susan was beside him and looked very upset. "It's okay my child," he told her. "I've been in some bad situations before haven't I? This is relatively mild in comparison to what happened to us on Skaro or Marinus and we came out fine in the end on both those occasions." "But you don't know where we are this time," she sobbed. "We haven't even got the Tardis anymore." "The only way for us to get it back is for me to go on this journey," he replied, rubbing his hand against her cheek. "You know that makes sense don't you?" She nodded, tears clearly visible as she brushed her fingers across her eyes. Shirley stood by her side and squeezed her hand gently, great sympathy clearly evident. Surprisingly, Plucky had turned up to see them off, a blank look on his face as he gently shook hands with Buster and Babs. "Try and take care of yourselves okay," he said. "I wouldn't want to have to deal with any insurance complications or anything." "You better be careful Plucky," expressed Babs. "We might actually start thinking you like us." "Get real long ears! I'm just thinking about the five dollars you still owe me." "Of course you are," smiled Buster. "Of course you are." We all said our goodbyes relatively quickly, Fifi standing closely by my side on the Looniversity steps as we watched the five adventurers begin their journey into the unknown. "Will zey be safe do you zink?" she asked as they disappeared one by one into the trees. I couldn't reply, gripping her furry hand tightly as my eyes simply focused on the spot where Joseph had vanished into the undergrowth. I stared for quite a long time, almost waiting for him to reappear. But he never did. It was a good thirty minutes before it actually hit me that it was quite possible that I'd never see any of them again. The next month was without a shadow of a doubt the slowest and most terrible that I had ever experienced. Every morning I would stand on the Looniversity steps staring towards the forest, praying for the moment when our friends would return. On many occasions Fifi and Shirley would join me, both of them clearly just as worried as myself. Just to keep my mind occupied I volunteered to do all the foraging for the foreseeable future and every day I would spend five or six hours wandering through the forest in search of fruit and berries, a spear grasped tightly in hand as I rustled my way through the undergrowth. From time to time I would cross paths with Plucky. He seemed to enjoy resting in the small clearing where I had first encountered Fifi, spending most of the time sitting by the side of the tiny stream and staring at his rippling reflection. It was quite clear that he was going through a major patch of depression. Sometimes I would stop to talk but he didn't seem interested, listening to what I had to say but rarely answering back. Whenever he did speak however, he usually mentioned Shirley and on one occasion he even told me that he was in love with her. "Why don't you just tell her?" I had asked . His only response was that she wouldn't believe him. I felt really sorry for the little duck and tried to be as nice as possible to him whenever we met but it did little to no good. Eventually, I gave up trying to talk to him and simply concentrated on the job in hand. Two weeks went by, then three. If they haven't found anything they'd be on their way back by now I told myself and all during the third week I gathered twice as much food in preparation for their imminent return. The fourth week arrived with still no sign, then the fifth. I grew very scared, convincing myself that a terrible fate had befallen them all. I found it difficult to eat or even concentrate during the day, mind always working on horrible possibilities. Joseph and Brian were my only links to home, the only tangible evidence that it had actually existed and was not some distorted figment of my imagination. If I was to loose them I would be loosing practically everything. I feared for the safety of my new friends too. Buster and Babs may have seemed strange to me at first but I had grown very fond of them over the past three months and had come to accept them as almost family. The Doctor may have been very easily irritated and on many occasions spoken down to me as if I were a child but I still liked him, had adopted him as a surrogate Grandfather so to speak. I think we all had by this stage. It wasn't unusual for such a tightly knit group as our own to grow very fond of one and other. At night I would sit talking with Fifi for hours on end, sometimes not sleeping at all for fear of bad dreams. She was scared too and would often cry openly in my presence, letting all the bottled emotions of the past few weeks out in waves. Sometimes we would cuddle each other to sleep, her long and furry tail oddly comforting in my hours of need. She reminded me of an old teddy bear I had once had and when I told her about this she laughed for the first time in days. "You miss your mother non?" she asked when the giggles had faded. I told her that my mother had been dead for eight years and that I lived with my father in a two bedroomed flat near Dublin's city centre. He had been unemployed for as long as I could remember and I was paying most of the bills. How he would ever survive without me I didn't know. "He will manage," she said. "I am sure zat he will." I hoped she was right. "What about your family?" I asked. "I ave not seen zhem in a long time," she replied. "I used to call France long distance now and again to see how zey were doing. My Sister Anne would sometimes send moi a letter from Austria. She is studying how you say, journalism zere. I ave a brother living in London too but I hardly ever hear from him. We never really got on zat well." "It must be hard on your parents with all their children living so far from home," I said. She didn't reply, staring towards the floor with a face that had suddenly become quite ashen. "And now zey have lost a daughter," she whispered after a few moments. I moved over and laid a hand on her shoulder. "We need to cheer ourselves up," I said. "We all do. Let's forget about work tomorrow and have a party down on the beach." "What about ze food?" she asked, eyes lighting up. "I've been collecting more than usual the past few days," I replied. "We may as well use it." And smiling once again she nodded. "A party would be tres ideal," she laughed. "It has been quite a while since we ave had some fun." By early the following afternoon all seven of us were sitting on the beach, the seemingly endless sea stretching out towards the horizon and the crashing of waves against high cliffs from about a mile to the east accompanied by steam like explosions of spray. It wasn't quite as warm as it had been the past few days but it didn't matter. For the first time since our arrival in this place we were actually enjoying ourselves. Even Plucky had turned up, although this was probably due to Shirley's presence more than anything else. The two of them were standing ankle deep in the water, not saying a word but simply staring towards the horizon. Gogo sat perched on some rocks nearby, pointed snout darting from side to side as he surveyed the area. His umbrella was wide open, sheltering him from what little sunlight there was. I reckoned that even if I lived to be a thousand years old I would never be able to fully understand that creature. We had set up three small tables in the sand with bowels of fruit and a couple of bottles of berry juice on each, Calamity and Susan doing most of the work. The coyote was now relaxing in the shade at the fringes of the forest and I wandered over to him while munching on a piece of fruit. "How's it going?" I asked as I sat myself down beside him. He shrugged, holding up a piece of card with "As well as can be expected" written on it. "He misses his petite friend," said Fifi as she walked towards us. "Ze nerdy coyote et Little Beeper were almost how you say, a set no?" "Little Beeper?" I asked. "Let me guess. A roadrunner perhaps?" Calamity nodded and smiled, standing up and pretending to snarl with his hands fully outstretched before him. "And I bet you could never catch him," I continued. Calamity looked at me and frowned. He was about to write something but stopped with his pen grasped in hand, shaking his head slowly and putting the card away. "Thinking about his little friend again?" said Susan, approaching from the nearest table. "I guess so," I replied. "I suppose we all have someone we miss." "How far away do you think they are by now?" she continued, the conversation drifting onto a subject that I had hoped to avoid today. "Grandfather is usually adapt at any situation but I'm really worried about him this time. He has no idea where we are." "I am sure zat zey are fine," said Fifi. "Buster and Babs can handle anyzhing." "Have you and your Grandfather been travelling for long?" I asked. "For many years now," replied Susan. "We make ideal companions you know. We're both explorers by nature I suppose. We must have been from one side of the universe to the other by now." "So there's life in outer space then?" I asked. "Of course," she smiled. "You're talking to me aren't you?" It took several seconds for the words to sink in. "Then you're not...." I trailed off into silence. "I thought you knew," she said. "My home planet is called Gallifrey. My Grandfather is a Time Lord." I suddenly burst out laughing, holding my hands to the side of my head. "Don't you believe me?" she asked. "I suppose so," I answered after a few moments. "It's just that I got on that train with the intentions of going home and now here I am on a beach that's God knows where... surrounded by a bunch of cartoon characters and an alien woman. This wasn't mentioned in the Irish Rail brochure." "It was how you say, a real magical mystery tour no?" laughed Fifi, laying a hand on my shoulder. "Oui," I smiled. "It was indeed." "Hey you guys... Look at that!" Shirley was pointing towards us, leaping up and down in agitation as she struggled to get our attention. Within a second we had all made our way over to her, each of us feeling a sudden wave of fear as we followed her gaze. About half a mile down the beach an enormous creature had suddenly burst forth from the forest, a massive green scaled beast that supported itself on four, tree trunk sized legs. It's long neck gave it a look reminiscent of one of the larger, sauropod dinosaurs, a long writhing tail still half hidden in the foliage and a huge multicoloured frill around it's neck. As we stood in a combination of both fear and awe it opened its mouth to reveal a set of jaws that gleamed like sabres, brown oval eyes that must have been at least two feet across fixed on the rippling waters. But perhaps the most distinctive feature about its body was the massive pair of wings that lay folded up on top of it's back. They were a lighter shade of green than the rest of the body, thin skin stretched across extremely long, narrow bones. "A dragon," I whispered. "It's a bloody dragon!" We were all stunned into silence as it dipped it's head into the waves, the frill glowing bright red as it pulsed with blood. "You guys stare at it all you like... I'm out of here!" exclaimed Plucky, preparing to make a dash for the trees. Before he could move however, Shirley had grabbed a hold of his arm. "If we run we might attract its attention!" she exclaimed. "Let's all just stay perfectly still kay." I felt my right leg grow uncannily warm and I realised that for the first time in over twenty years I had wet myself. Fifi gripped my hand tightly, so tightly in fact that it hurt. "It must be over a hundred feet long!" whispered Susan. "Just look at those wings!" As she spoke the very wings that she had referred quickly unfolded, stretching out at least forty feet on each side of the monster's body. Then, withdrawing it's head from the water it momentarily looked towards us, my blood running cold as I felt its gaze run over our relatively puny forms. There came a brief moment when every one of us thought it was the end, Plucky closing his eyes and calling out for his mother. Then, in almost total silence the wings began to flap ferociously, a cloud of windblown sand rising around the beast's body and momentarily hiding it from view. I heard a low scream from my side, the usually dumb Calamity seeming to have at last found a voice. Then, as we stood frozen in fear, the beast rose slowly into the air, a fantastic but terrifying sight if ever there was one. For one horrible moment we all thought it was going to swoop towards us and Susan covered her eyes in fear. But then, just as it seemed the end was at hand it glided out over the waves, tilting away from us and making it's way towards the distant cliffs. Just before passing out of sight around the headland it swooped low, front legs entering the water in a massive shower of spray. When they emerged there was something clasped in it's claws, a large, black writhing object that looked like some kind of snake. Before we could get a good look it was gone, vanishing into the distance like a dream forgotten. There came a single residual scream, a high pitched wail that must have echoed for miles. Then there was nothing but the crashing waves, a light breeze chilling our quivering bodies. It was Shirley who spoke first. "Wasn't that like totally cool fer sure?" We all looked towards her with an expression of disbelief. "Sorry," she shrugged. "But you don't see things like that every day." "Is it safe to assume that the party's over?" asked Plucky. I looked slowly towards him and then towards the others. I think we all started running towards the forest at the same time. An hour later we were all sitting around the snooker table in the teacher's lounge, Fifi and Shirley both perched on high stools that brought them up to eye level with Susan and myself. The atmosphere was tense to say the least. None of us quite knew what to say but we could tell from the expression on each other's faces that we were all terrified. All except Shirley. She seemed genuinely overawed by the experience, looking for all the world as if she had actually enjoyed it. Predictably, she was the one who broke the silence. "That was like, totally fantastic!" she beamed. "The magic of the moment was like the merging of a thousand constellations or some junk!" "We are all glad you feel zat way Shirley," whispered Fifi with a clear hint of annoyance. "But for us eet was not exactly a tres wonderful experience." "I agree," said Susan, her hands still visibly shaking. "I don't know how we're going to be able to relax knowing that there's a thing that size roaming around the place." "But I felt no mondo negatory vibes," continued Shirley. "It wasn't interested in eating us... We're probably too small for it to take an interest." "Hostile or not it was bloody huge!" I expressed. "I think from now on we should try and stay as close to the Looniversity as we can and at least two of us should be on watch at all times. I'll stay up tonight... who's with me?" Calamity raised his hand and nodded. "We ave to defend ourselves also," said Fifi. "We ave a few spears and arrows but I zink we will need a lot more. We should spend ze next few days building up our arms." "We need to defend ourselves?" asked Plucky with a look of put on astonishment. "Well done Sherlock LaFume! Of course we need to defend ourselves! Did you get a look at that thing's eyes? Hungry for blood it was. I bet it especially enjoys roast duck." As he spoke his voice rose to an almost hysterical level, Fifi hiding her face in her hands as she started to cry. "It was starting to go so well," she sobbed. "And now ze fear starts all over again." "I'm telling you guys it wasn't a threat!" expressed Shirley, placing a friendly hand on the young skunk's shoulder. "We're just like, relatively small in comparison with the wonders of the natural world kay." "I saw a Tyrannosaurus once," muttered Susan. "Northern Colorado during the lower Cretaceous period. It wasn't half as terrifying as that thing." We all sat in silence for several minutes, our minds running over the experience again and again like a constantly repeating spool of film. During this time, Gogo wandered into the centre of the snooker table and prodded the white ball with his nose, potting a red in the process and coming so close to me that his tail feathers brushed against my nose. Although he didn't act much like the others he was clearly just as scared, his eyes open slightly wider than usual and his movements unsteady upon quivering feet. Even his umbrella seemed folded up. "These things must be rare," wrote Calamity. "We would have seen one long before now if they were the dominant life form in this place." We quickly thought this over, feeling slightly comforted by the logic of the statement but at the same time still wrestling with our primal fears. We were all thinking the same thing. What of our distant friends? Had they long since been attacked and killed by such a beast? It was a possibility that didn't bear thinking about. Despite Shirley's continued insistence that the creature was harmless, we spent the next few days in a state of catlike readiness, over fifty new spears and various carved weapons joining our armoury in an amazingly short space of time. Calamity and Plucky made most of them, sometimes working long into the night only to fall asleep next to their varying contrivances. The rest of us busied ourselves planting clumps of spears into the soft earth at various points around the Looniversity grounds. Each one was roughly five feet long, carved from a branch of sizeable thickness and pointed directly upwards at the cloud streaked sky. If any flying creature tried to land within a hundred feet of the building it would soon get a severe taste of pain. The clock tower was manned by a watcher at all times, someone ready to sound the alarm at the first sign of danger and at night we lit several fires at intervals of perhaps fifty feet or more, the protective flames filling the smoky air with a flickering, orange glow. No one went into the forest unless they had at least two companions with them and all recreational activities were temporarily halted. We weren't prepared to take any chances. Plucky abandoned his hermit like existence and resumed eating and speaking with the rest of us. It was clear that he was scared, very scared indeed. I think we all were. But after two weeks had passed without another sighting of the monster our fears began to dissipate and we soon came to realise that Calamity had obviously been correct in assuming the creature to be a rare specimen. Despite this, we were glad that our dwelling was now well defended and we decided to keep lighting the fires at night for as long as possible. Over time these fires were reduced in number to a mere two, a noticeable thinning of the forest in several spots where we must have felled at least fifty trees or more. The distinctive smell of burning wood permeated the candle lit corridors of the Looniversity every night, helping us all to sleep just that little bit easier by making us feel that we were safe. But I think deep down we all really knew that if a creature of that size was determined to attack us, we wouldn't last five minutes. It was late one afternoon, roughly six weeks after our sighting of the dragon that the clock tower bell suddenly began to chime. I was checking on the progress of our vegetables with Fifi at the time, both of us instantly looking upward in surprise. "Ze bell!" she exclaimed. "Monsieur Plucky must ave seen somezhing!" We raced to the Looniversity steps where the others were already gathering, all of us looking upward towards Plucky who was leaning over the edge far above and pointing into the distance. "I don't know what it is but it's big and probably very angry!" he shouted. We all held our spears high, Fifi grasping her bow and arrow tightly and aiming in roughly the direction that Plucky had pointed to. Shirley looked upwards at her green feathered counterpart and frowned. "Like don't spare us the details Plucky. What is it? Another flying monster or some junk?" "Can't see," he called back. "Whatever it is it's hiding in the trees. The branches are swaying from side to side like mad. A surprise attack!" "Is everyone here?" I shouted. "All except Gogo," answered Susan. "I haven't seen him all day." I gripped my spear as hard as I could, the various terrible possibilities that had filtered through my mind over the past few weeks now returning to haunt me. Fifi's tail rose into the defensive position, her eyes open wide and clenched teeth showing. "Prepare for ze attack!" she hissed. Slightly to the left of us, the taller trees began to sway from side to side. At the same time we all realised that the ground was vibrating ever so slightly beneath our feet. Something was coming all right, something big. Even Shirley seemed scared this time, eyes focused on the fringes of the forest. "I'm starting to get some very strange vibes," she muttered. "Whatever it is there's more than one." As she spoke a nearby clump of bushes was suddenly thrust aside, a tall, thin creature emerging so quickly we all jumped back at least one pace. It must have been at least eight or nine feet high, body similar to that of a kangaroo but with tiny, seemingly useless forearms. It stared towards us with large pink eyes, it's fur a very dark shade of brown and extremely tangled, loud snorting noises emanating from it's pig like snout. Behind it came another and then another, twelve of the animals eventually appearing before us within the space of ten seconds. Then, seemingly as one, they all came to a sudden, regimented halt. With a high pitched wail Fifi shot an arrow high into the air, the sharpened stick plunging into the soft ground some six feet from the feet of the nearest creature. It snorted loudly but didn't move, shaking it's head from side to side as if confused by our presence. Susan screamed. I was about to hurl my spear when I instantly froze, eyes opening wide as I suddenly noticed something that in my panic I had previously ignored. Sitting on the back of the nearest creature was my old friend Joseph! Like myself, he now had a heavy beard covering his face, shirt and jeans torn badly and covered in patches of dirt but despite this there was no mistaking him. It was definitely Joseph all right... returned as if from the dead! "I wasn't expecting this kind of welcome!" he beamed. On the creature behind him sat a similarly weathered Brian, the rest of our friends spread across two other beasts. With a squeal of delight Fifi skipped across the grass towards the animal that carried her two rabbit friends, hugging Babs tightly and kissing Buster full on the mouth. "I knew you would return," she cried. "Please do not go away like zat again!" Susan followed quickly after the skunk, trembling as she took a hold of her grandfather's hand. Unlike my two friends, the Doctor was still clean-shaven if a little dishevelled in appearance. His black frock coat was torn at the shoulder and his blue ring seemed to be missing but aside from that he was still energetic as ever for such a seemingly old man, his wide eyes full of the adventurous spirit that the past two months must have given him in more than generous quantities. I was just about to run over and greet my friends when I suddenly froze in amazement. For right behind them, dismounting from their animals and staring directly towards the Looniversity were two strangers. The closest one to me was dressed in the tattered remains of what appeared to be a late nineteenth century British army uniform, a dirtied face and two wide brown eyes staring towards me from beneath an unkempt mass of greasy black hair. The other was slightly shorter but considerably more unusual in appearance. Clearly oriental, he wore what looked like light blue samurai robes, a distinct gleam reflecting from the long sword that lay clasped at his side. His face was cast in an intense expression of surprise, a thin beard and a mass of black hair tied into a topknot completing the image. Both newcomers seemed intrigued by the Looniversity and its inhabitants, their eyes moving from one toon to the other as if not knowing quite what to do. I remembered this feeling quite well. "I told them that they'd find this a shock," laughed Brian. "It took them over a week just to get used to Buster and Babs!" I was far too stunned to comment, simply walking unsteadily towards my friends with an intense feeling of disorientation. Joseph's creature gave a loud snort as I approached, a large, three toed foot gently pawing the ground. Strangely enough, I felt no fear at all. "What... What is it?" I eventually managed to ask. "Just one element of an extremely long story young man," answered the Doctor. "One that is probably best told over a good meal." I nodded slowly, head still spinning. Predictably, the two newcomers were in shock for a couple of hours. By the time everyone else had washed up and were ready to discuss their adventures in the candle lit comfort that was the teacher's lounge however, they had calmed considerably and were more than willing to join in on the meeting. The man in the army uniform simply referred to himself as an Artilleryman, claiming to have been alone for so long that he had forgotten his real name. He spoke with what seemed to be a London accent, some of the words and expressions he used being slightly antiquated. This was somewhat explained by the fact that he was convinced the year was 1898, a belief that he refused to be shaken on despite our continued protests. He seemed kindly enough if a bit strange, his intense brown eyes sometimes staring into space for very long periods at a time, sudden and jerky bodily movements reflecting the fact that he had been acting on a pure animalistic survival instinct for the past three months. Whenever he heard a noise that he couldn't identify his head cocked to one side and his body seemed to brace itself for action. On several occasions he rose from his stool, walking with an almost aimless motion around the room for up to ten minutes or more. There was clearly a lot more to him than met the eye. Sanjuro was another case entirely. Clearly a samurai of some description, he had apparently leaped out in front of the wandering group as they had been making their way through a narrow, mountain pass. With his sword high and bellowing at the top of his voice he had seemed at first to be a pretty formidable opponent. It had taken several minutes to calm him down, a task made considerably more difficult by virtue of the fact that he didn't seem to be able to speak any English. Once he had put the weapon down however, he had seemed very happy to see them. Much like the Artilleryman, he had evidently been on his own for a considerably long time. Naturally, he was amazed by the sight of Buster and Babs but within a few days he had come to accept their existence without question. Although we couldn't be too sure, it seemed obvious that he had seen some strange sights during his enforced isolation, the presence of two talking cartoon rabbits not really adding up to anything that he hadn't already witnessed. The only thing he had been able to tell them was his name and no one was really sure if it was his real one or not. But curious as we were to learn about the newcomers there were far more pressing things on our minds. "So," said Fifi after a long pause. "You travelled quite a good distance non?" "I would estimate four hundred miles," answered the Doctor. "And that's not taking into account the two weeks we spent following the shoreline." "Shoreline!" I exclaimed. "So you reached the other side of this place then?" "Of course we did!" beamed Babs. "You didn't think we'd give up now did you?" "Then like, what's the deal with this mondo bizarro world?" asked Shirley. "Well for one thing we're not alone," replied Joseph. "Just beyond the mountains there's a group much like our own, slightly larger in fact, about fifteen of them. A very strange bunch indeed. They live in what looks like a castle of some sort" "There's even a couple of toons!" exclaimed Buster. "One of them was only a baby so he couldn't tell us what his name was but the other one was Slappy Squirrel." He looked towards Fifi and Plucky with a broad grin. "You remember Slappy don't you?" "Vaguely," replied Plucky with a shrug. "She wasn't very good." He suddenly developed a nervous look, glancing over his shoulder quickly. "Hey! You didn't bring her back with you did you?" "Don't worry Plucky," laughed Babs. "Your life is safe for the time being. She's staying on with the other group. In fact I think she's taken quite a shine to the guy in charge... Roger Thornhill I think he said his name was." "Lucky for him," muttered Buster with a distinct hint of sarcasm. "The rest of the group's pretty mixed," said Brian. "Mostly humans but there's a couple that were really strange. One of them's a female chimpanzee called Zira. She's at least five foot high! Speaks perfect English too which I thought was incredible. There's another one, a creepy sort who seems to keep to himself. Chamberlain he called himself. I don't know what he is but he sure is ugly, like a vulture or something." "I remember him well," said the Doctor. "A bird of some sort with dominant reptilian characteristics. I think he said he was a member of the Skek... Now what was that name?" He thought for a moment before remembering. "Oh yes. Skeksis is the word I'm looking for. As to what it means though I'm afraid I have no idea." "You stayed with this group for a while then?" I asked. "About a week or so," replied Joseph. "They're in more or less the same situation as ourselves, eating fruit and berries. None of them can remember how they got here." "After we left them we moved south for a few days," said Buster. "Made our way through another mountain range, a much bigger one than the Kalmars. And then we saw the red weed." "Ze red weed?" enquired Fifi. "It was everywhere," continued Buster. "Looked like a cross between the contents of a Weenie Burger and a cactus. The whole landscape was covered in it. That was where we met the Artilleryman." The Artilleryman nodded as he was mentioned, standing up and staring at all of us. There was a grim expression to his face. "I was on my own for what seemed like an eternity," he said. "Hiding out in a house a few miles from London. The Martians were everywhere. They brought the red weed with them and it was steadily choking the local plant life to death. Most of the people were either dead or running wild, the Martians hunting as many of us down as they could. I wasn't scared though, I had a plan. I was going to dig beneath the ground see. There's miles and miles of sewers under London, plenty of space to hide from them. Enough space for humanity to start all over again. I reckon I could have done it too were it not for the fact that one morning I woke up to find myself in this place." "Martians?" asked Shirley. "You mean like, guys from Mars or some junk?" "You haven't heard of them?" he asked in surprise. Those of us that hadn't been on the trip shook our heads. "They travel around in massive metal machines," he explained. "Huge tripods nearly a hundred feet high that move like they were alive. The Martian sits in a hood on top, controlling a weapon called a heat ray. It's so powerful it can cut through steel. I've been in the army for years and I've never seen anything quite as horrible." I suddenly felt a chill run down my spine. I had heard about these Martians before, I was sure of it. But try as I might I just couldn't place the memory. I could see from the look on the Doctor's face that he felt the same way. "Are zhese Martians here too?" asked Fifi to Babs. "We saw three machines in the distance one day," she replied. "They were very far off but we could hear them." She suddenly jumped up on the table and made a thoroughly horrendous noise. "Ulla! Ulla!" "A most excellent approximation young lady," said the Doctor with a grin, clapping his hands at the same time. "Extremely accurate indeed." "We didn't stick around there for long," she continued. "It took us two days to reach a spot where the red weed didn't grow anymore, a distance of about thirty miles. It was only then that we knew we were safe." "You only saw three machines though?" asked Susan. "Is it possible that's all they have?" "Maybe," replied Babs. "I really don't know." "We reached the coast a few days later," said the Doctor. "We followed the shoreline for at least another fifty miles and met a second group. They were gathered around a beached ship. There was only five of them, four humans and a small creature with hooves and horns who called himself Mr. Tumnus. Although we didn't travel any further they told us of an nearby island, a place where there were giant intelligent reptiles known as Mahars." "Needles to say we didn't go that way," continued Joseph. "But we were intrigued by the animals we found wandering nearby, the ones we rode home on. They're remarkably tame considering they've most probably never seen a human before. We only had to give them some food for them to trust us. We call them Roomounts... It was the Doctor who came up with that. Just as reliable as horses. Not quite as fast however but considerably stronger. We set out for here soon afterwards, the return journey taking almost three weeks less despite the fact that we bypassed the Martian area by a good twenty miles or so". "We had a bit of excitement here while you were gone," I muttered. "A few weeks back we saw what looked like a dragon down on the beach. It was huge. Over a hundred feet long". "Nothing would surprise me anymore," said Brian. "We saw lots of strange things. Giant owls, plants that seemed to be able to move by themselves... the list goes on." "But you survived and that's all that matters," said Susan, hugging the Doctor. "Don't ever go off like that again." "No fear my child," he replied with a smile. "For the time being I don't want to do anything else but relax." I think we were all in agreement. It was late in the night when I came across the Doctor. As always, I was having considerable trouble falling asleep and had decided to wander around the corridors for a while in an attempt to tire myself out. As I was passing the science lab I noticed that there was a candle still burning inside and popping my head around the door I saw the Doctor sitting at one of the benches, his right eye seemingly glued to the lens of a microscope. "Burning the midnight oil?" I asked. He quickly looked upward, his eyes clearly reddened from the strain of staring into the tiny lens. "I rarely sleep," he answered. "Especially not when there are important secrets to uncover." "Such as?" I asked. It took him quite a few seconds to respond, his eyes fixed on me and an odd expression crossing his face. Finally, after rubbing his forehead with a white handkerchief and taking a deep breath, he spoke. "I take it that you are a reasonable young man?" I nodded and smiled. "I hope so." "Then sit down a moment," he continued. "There's something I think you should know. Something that might very well effect us all." Intrigued but at the same time oddly disturbed I sat myself down on one of the stools, staring directly at the Doctor and the flickering candlelight that played upon his elderly features. "Well?" I asked. "What is it?" "Before I start I would appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone else about this just yet," he answered, his ringed finger pointing towards me. "I don't think the others would take it too well." I nodded slowly, a chill running down my spine. "Very well," he continued, lowering his hand. "But don't tell me that I didn't give you due warning young man. You might never sleep soundly again knowing what I know." My heart rate instantly increased, hands starting to shake mildly. But despite my growing apprehension I needed to know what he was going to say, needed to know the truth. "As you are no doubt well aware I have spent the past few weeks exploring this land," he whispered. "Making my way from one side to the other... A pioneer if you like. And as you were told earlier on we met two other groups while on our travels, one larger than our own, the other smaller." "I know," I said. "I assume we were told everything that there was to be told at the table." "Most of it," replied the Doctor. "But what I failed to mention was the fact that I was taking notes all the way, drawing maps of the landscapes we travelled through and more importantly, taking account of all those that we encountered." As he spoke he withdrew from his pocket a battered brown notebook, thumbing his way to the last few pages and showing me the list that he had scribbled down. "Some twenty two individuals of varying species," he said, handing me the notebook. "Do you notice anything about them hmm?" I scanned the list, noticing that some of the names had been underlined in red pen. "You've highlighted some of these," I enquired. "Why?" "That is what this conversation is all about young man. Those names have been underlined because those names are the ones that I recognise." I looked up in silence, not even blinking as I shook my head slowly in confusion. "Oh yes!" he exclaimed. "I recognised them all right. Our friend the Artilleryman, a Dr. John Watson, a Mr. Bounderby, the Mahars, the Martians and their tripod machines. I recognised them all because I had read about them in books. They're all fictional characters!" "The War of the Worlds...," I muttered. "I knew I'd heard about those Martians before but it's only now that you mention them that it's come to me. Good Lord!" "That's not all," continued the Doctor. "The very fact that our friends here in the Looniversity are cartoon characters would seem to imply that their fictional too." "No...," I whispered. "They're real. I've even felt Buster's pulse." "I'm not disputing the fact that they're alive," replied the Doctor. "I've run some tests on Calamity that prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that they are living, breathing creatures. I am just making it clear that they have somehow been born out of a fictional universe." Falling silent he leaned towards me, his face becoming darkened as it fell out of the candle light. "Which leads me to the rather disturbing conclusion that maybe we're fictional too." I stood up, shaking my head and laughing. "Impossible!" I cried. "That's just impossible. I'm not fictional. I'm real!" "I've been thinking back over my life these past few days," continued the Doctor. "Remembering all the adventures and narrow escapes that I've had, remembering my voyages through time and space. They're all far too fantastic to have been real you know. The more I think about it the more I come to realise that they most probably never happened at all." "No!" I hissed. "You can't expect me to believe this." And then, in a sudden horrible moment I remembered what Buster had said to me when I told him about the hostage situation I'd been involved in. "Sounds like the plot to a movie of the week." I held both hands to my head and then clenched my fists tightly. "No..." I muttered. "It's not true. It can't be." "I'm very much afraid that it is my boy," expressed the Doctor. "There's nothing we can do now but come to accept it." "Shut up!" I shouted at the top of my voice. "You're a madman. You're just trying to scare me. Trying to drive me insane!" He shook his head and sighed. "Obviously not a reasonable young man at all." Too disturbed to comment, I quickly fled the lab. Of the next few minutes I remember hardly anything, only the coldness of the floor tiles beneath my feet as I staggered through the corridors at great speed. I was trying desperately to escape the truth, to outrun the horrible realisation that the Doctor was right. My home. My family. Had they ever really existed at all? Was that day on the beach perhaps the first real day of my life? I knew it was true yet at the same time I was refusing to believe it. "I'm real...," I kept repeating over and over again. "I am real!" Turning a corner I ran straight into Fifi, the two of us falling backwards with the impact. "Sorry!" she squealed, struggling to help me up. But I wasn't listening. Reaching out I threw my arms around her and hugged her as tightly as I could, feeling her warm tail coil gently around me. "Larry!" she whispered. "What ees it...?" But I couldn't answer, tears now rolling down my face. "I am real," I whispered. "I know I am." As I spoke the candle closest to us blew itself out. PART THREE CHANGING TIMES The sun beat down from a clear blue sky as I rode my roomount across the great grassy plain. It had been quite warm the past week or so, a sign of a rapidly approaching summer. In many ways I was glad. The winter had been very harsh indeed, snow covering the ground for weeks on end. There had even come a time when we were convinced it would never thaw at all. Thirsty, I came to a stop by a small, trickling stream, dismounting my animal and dipping my self constructed flask into the cold water. The mountains were very close now, only about another hour's ride. I looked upwards at the mighty rocky peaks, the heavy covering of snow upon the upper slopes gleaming in the bright sunlight. A fantastic sight yet at the same time oddly foreboding. I hated the journey through the valley. This would be the third time I had been this way in the space of eight months and it was always the same. The huge cliffs towered above you on both sides, your mind already letting you see the inevitable rockfall that was bound to happen at some stage or another. It would be just my luck for that rockfall to take place today. Hearing the heavy tread of another roomount behind me I looked up to see Fifi finally catch up with me. This was the first time she had undertaken the journey to the second colony and the look on her face clearly betrayed the fact that she was highly surprised at the distance involved. "How far now?" she called to me. "Before sunset," I replied. "About an hour or so." Behind her followed a third roomount, several bundled up packages upon it's back. It was now almost three years since we had found ourselves in this place and trading with the second colony had become a vital need for our community. There was about eighty miles or so between the Looniversity and their castle and every month two people would undertake the journey in order to barter our vegetables and candles for whatever they had to offer. On this particular occasion we were looking for clothes. The second colony had a large amount of cotton in their possession and two of their members were quite adapt at making clothing from it. At the present moment I was making do with a jacket that I had put together from some old sheets, a small pair of badly cut shorts being all that remained of the jeans that I had arrived in. I had stopped wearing shoes well over a year ago and my feet had by this stage become well accustomed to being uncovered. The skin of my souls had thickened considerably and it had now come to the stage that even walking over hard rock caused little to no pain. "You don't know how lucky you are walking around naked all day," I laughed as the young skunk dismounted. "Although it must get pretty difficult during the winter." "I ave moi fur," she giggled. "Even back in Acme Acres I only wore clothes for how you say, ze formal occasions no?" I fell silent, Fifi's reference to her past life sending a cold chill down my spine. About a week after he had told me his theories, the Doctor had made it clear to everyone that it was quite possible that we were all nothing but fictional characters. Predictably, everyone had responded in much the same way as I had done. No one wanted to believe that we had no life outside of our present predicament, that our memories held nothing but fabricated lies. But as time had moved on we had all come to realise that it was most probably true. We were all definitely alive now, that was for sure. But as to how we had come to be here we were still very much in the dark. It had been so long now since our arrival that we had stopped trying to figure it out and had simply begun to concentrate on the here and now. Maybe we had once been fictional but by some unknown means we were now living beings and had to live our lives as such. That was all that really mattered. I shook my head of disturbing thoughts and attempted to smile. "Let's try and get this over and done with as soon as possible," I said. "If we play our cards right we might be back at the Looniversity by the day after tomorrow." I looked directly towards Fifi, noticing that she was staring past me with a look of confusion on her face. "Who ees zat?" she asked, pointing into the distance. Spinning around, I strained my eyes and tried to focus in on a dark shape that appeared to be shuffling towards us. It seemed to be an oddly hunched form, still about half a mile away but progressing steadily across the grass. "I don't know," I muttered. "But whoever it is they seem to be in quite a hurry." It took over five minutes for the individual in question to come close enough for us to make out any details and when he did, I winced in disgust. The creature that approached us was just a little under five feet high, a misshapen vulture like head atop a thin, scrawny body that was mostly hidden by a dark coloured robe. "It's Chamberlain," I expressed. "What's he doing this far away from the castle?" Fifi stepped back a few paces, a look of extreme worry filling her face. She had met Chamberlain only once before but the experience had still managed to scare her badly. "Has he seen us?" she whispered. "I think so," I replied. "Let's just be calm about this." A couple of minutes later it became clear that he was extremely agitated, his exceptionally high voice filled with what seemed to be fear. "Attacked!" he screeched. "Attacked by the three legs!" Then, finally reaching us, he collapsed in a heap on the ground and buried his lumpy beak in the water of the stream. "What do you mean attacked?" I asked after a few moments. He withdrew his beak, droplets of water dripping from his nostrils. "Three legs!" he screeched once again. "They attacked us in the night. Destroyed our home." I bent down, grabbing him by the arm. "The castle's been destroyed?" "Yes," he replied. "The Martians. They came in the night." Then, seemingly losing consciousness he fell face down into the stream. I pulled him up and left him lying on his side in the grass, glancing towards Fifi with a clearly whitened face. "You... You better turn around. You better turn around right now," I stammered. "What about you?" she whispered. "I have to see what's happened. I have to go on ahead." "Then I am coming also!" she exclaimed. I looked at her in silence, trying to think of something to say but nothing coming to mind. "O'kay," I muttered after about a minute. "But we're only going as far as the mountains. If we climb halfway up the side of the largest one we should be able to get a good view of the castle." "What about Chamberlain?" she asked. I glanced towards the ugly heap in the grass, water droplets still running down his beak. "We'll have to take him with us," I replied. "We can't just leave him here." I grabbed a hold of him, finding his body to be light enough for me to hoist it up onto the back of my roomount without much of a struggle. He groaned slightly as I carried him, one of his claw like fingers scratching my arm. Ignoring the mild pain, I slung him belly downwards across the roomount's back. Then, removing the packages from the third roomount and placing them carefully onto the ground I climbed up onto it. "Come on," I expressed. "We've only got an hour or so till sundown." We reached the inclination of the mountain within twenty minutes, both Fifi and myself dismounting and making our way steadily up the slope. Chamberlain had by this stage resumed consciousness and was now sitting bolt upright upon his carrier, staring at us but refusing to follow. Ignoring him, we continued on our way. It was a long climb, the inclination becoming steeper the higher we went and by the time we reached a suitable position we were both panting badly. I opened my flask and we both drank heartily, water running down my chin as I took in several deep lungfulls of much needed air. The sun was hanging low in the sky, some of the brighter stars already glinting in the heavens and a creeping darkness that was the rapidly encroaching veil of night prowling steadily towards us from the distant horizon. Below us lay a panoramic view of the area directly beyond the mountains, a spectacular landscape of hills, trees and lakes that stretched as far as the eye could see. But it was not this landscape that we set our eyes upon, it was the pillar of grey smoke that was rising high into the air from the spot where the castle used to be. I couldn't make out much detail in the growing darkness but it was very apparent that the building had been completely levelled. "Ees it true?" asked Fifi slowly. I simply nodded, my eyes now coming to fix themselves upon the three huge shapes that stood above the ruins like terrible omens of doom. Two of them were gigantic tripods, the third a smaller, spider like machine with five legs and two huge articulated claws. All three of them combined to form a truly terrifying sight, a fearsome display of power that made me feel completely and utterly helpless. "Martians," I hissed after several moments of silence. "Why did they do it?" "Let's go home," squealed Fifi, grabbing a hold of my arm. "Let's go home now!" I stared towards the Martian machines for another few seconds before nodding in agreement, following swiftly behind the young skunk as she half ran, half slid down the rocky slope. We reached the roomounts within a few minutes, finding Chamberlain to be in the same position we had left him in. "You see!" he squealed. "I was right! Right all along." I didn't answer, simply mounting my animal as quickly as possible and kicking it into motion. "Straight back home with no stops," I shouted. "We'll be there by tomorrow afternoon." And without a further word between the three of us, we set off at great speed. We moved much faster than I had anticipated, arriving back at the main entrance of the Looniversity long before midday. Our roomounts were so tired they almost collapsed under the strain and we left them panting by the reservoir as we ran quickly inside to tell everyone the bad news. The Doctor seemed to already know what we were about to say. "It's the Martians isn't it?" he asked. "We all knew that this might happen." "The entire place was destroyed," I explained. "Just ashes left behind." "What about survivors?" asked Babs in a near frenzy. "Who else got out besides Chamberlain?" "I was outside at the time," answered Chamberlain calmly. "I only saw the attack from the distance." "And you didn't go back and try and help anyone?" she hissed. "What could I do?" he continued. "They would have killed me too." "I know the Martians well," replied the Artilleryman. "The guys from the castle would have been lucky if they died instantly. I've seen how those monsters feed." I think we all shuddered, the Artilleryman's stories of how the Martians consumed the blood of other creatures coming back to haunt us. "They must have used up all the resources in their area," muttered the Doctor. "They've only started on the territory beyond the mountains so that gives us quite a while before they head this way." "And what can we do once that happens?" asked Plucky. "We might as well dig our own graves now." "We can't panic," I expressed. "We have to keep our minds clear on this." Joseph and Shirley nodded, fear clearly showing on their faces. "I knew there was a strange presence nearby," said Shirley. "I warned you before you went." "Oui, I remember," answered Fifi. "I am so sorry zat we did not take you more seriously." "Shirley," I asked after a few moments. "Can you tell us if there's any survivors? I mean, can you use your mind powers over that kind of distance?" "Hold on," she replied, holding both hands to the side of her head and sitting on the floor in a lotus position. Then ever so slowly she began to rise upwards. We had all seen her levitate like this on many occasions but it never ceased to amaze, our eyes fixed on her seemingly weightless form as she began her familiar chant. "OhwhataloonIam.... OhwhataloonIam." After several minutes of this she returned to the floor, opening her eyes to reveal pupils that were glowing white. "Yes," she whispered. "There are survivors... seven of them. They're hiding rough and they're very scared." "Can you tell us who they are?" asked Buster. "What about Slappy?" "I don't know," she replied. "I can sense the emotions but I can't tell who they're coming from." "If seven of them made it then I bet they'll try and make their way here," said Brian. "We should light some more fires over the next few nights to try and guide them in." "And attract the Martians!" shouted Plucky. "You must be crazy." "The Martians are on the opposite side of the mountains my boy," said the Doctor. "From what the Artilleryman has told me they are logical beings. They won't stray out of the area they're in unless they really need to." "Can we take that chance?" asked Plucky harshly. "For the seven poor souls out there we can!" shouted Babs. The two toons stared at each other coldly for the next thirty seconds, both of them looking for all the world as if they were about to pounce. Then, in silence, Plucky cast his eyes downwards and Babs smiled. "You see," she said with a smile. "No need to shout." We reckoned that on foot it would take the seven survivors about four days to reach us, assuming of course that they'd considered that option. After a week had passed without any sign however, it was generally assumed that they hadn't. Although we had hardly known the other group we mourned for them greatly, even to the extent of having a brief service for them. Although none of us were highly religious we made an effort to make the ceremony as solemn as possible, all of us holding candles and praying quietly as Brian and Joseph erected a small wooden cross near the fringes of the forest. Even the elusive Gogo turned up, remaining both quiet and still as he watched the proceedings from a distance. Afterwards, we all re-entered the Looniversity and ate our evening meal in silence. I had noticed during the service that Plucky and Shirley were holding hands, not saying anything but simply standing in silence together. Despite their frequent disagreements it had become quite clear over the past year or so that they cared very deeply about each other and although they never spoke about this relationship, I think everyone knew. If nothing else, this new danger from the Martians seemed to have strengthened their bond. Unlike our sighting of the dragon however, our fear of the Martians never grew to such an extent that we found it interfering with our daily lives. In the first few days after the massacre of the second colony we went about our regular business exactly as we had for the past three years, no deviation to the daily proceedings at all. We had all come to live with constant danger while in this place and the possibility of a sudden and terrible death no longer filled us with the same fear that it once had. In many ways I likened it to living back home. We could have died in a car wreck any day of the week but we didn't avoid cars because of this fact. Here we had dragons and Martians instead of motorised transport but the risk was no different. Death could come at any time, you just had to take it in your stride. Despite the non appearance of the seven survivors, Shirley was adamant that they were all still out there. At one point Joseph suggested heading out on a expedition to find them but through a combined effort we finally managed to dissuade him. They would have to find us, it was as simple as that. It took nine days for the first of them to show up, the female chimpanzee known as Zira simply bursting forth from the foliage one day and collapsing into the grass by the statue of Bugs Bunny. Dragging her unconscious body inside, we made up a bed for her and tried to help her out as best we could. She was quite delirious however, slipping in and out of consciousness for several days. It was almost a week before she had fully recovered but despite her ability to answer questions she had no idea as to the whereabouts of her fellow survivors. Then, about two days later, another arrived. The newcomer was a middle aged man with a Welsh accent by the name of Tom Price. He was very dirty indeed, having lived in the rough for quite a while but despite this, he appeared friendly enough if a bit lazy. He rarely helped out with the work, preferring to stay in his room or hover around the teacher's lounge eating, a mannerism which soon began to annoy us after a few days. Asking him if he had any special skills, he told us that he had once been a very adapt trapper, telling us many stories of how he used to catch rabbits in the Welsh hills. Although Buster and Babs obviously didn't take kindly to this, the rest of us decided he was probably the best man to help us start catching game again and we told him to start pulling his weight by doing a bit of hunting for us. This he did, although as Susan and Calamity had both experienced problems with the foresthog meat before, it was decided that that particular animal should be avoided. Tom seemed to specialise in a larger, badger like creatures that due to their intense, glassy eyed stare we simply called watchers. They averaged out at just over a foot long and although the meat had a near identical taste to that of the foresthogs, we experienced no health problems whatsoever. Within a week, watcher meat had become the dominant part of our diet. It was quite early in the morning when the Artilleryman and myself were both up on the clock tower, our eyes fixed upon the rocky slopes of the far off Kalmars. Although a considerable distance away I couldn't help but feel that they were still too close for comfort. Over the past few days we had begun to notice a faint trace of scarlet upon the lower slopes, the creeping presence of the red weed clearly evident. We had yet to spot any Martians but it seemed certain that they were still at large. "What exactly is that stuff?" I asked without drawing my eyes away. "It's a plant of some sort isn't it?" "As far as I know," he answered. "It seems to follow the Martians wherever they go. Perhaps they use it as a substitute food source." "You mean other than blood," I muttered. He failed to answer, his eyes fixed on something in the sky. "Look at that!" Following his gaze I froze in shock, my eyes focusing in on an enormous object that seemed to be sailing through the distant clouds. It was well over a hundred feet long, an enormous wingspan that would have dwarfed many a jet aeroplane. Despite the length of time it had been since my last sighting of such a beast, I still remembered it like it was yesterday. As I watched, the creature vanished behind a massive cloud bank and never emerged. "It's back..." I whispered once I had finally got over the shock. "We.... We have to tell the others." "So that's the famous dragon I've heard so much about," he expressed. "I would have expected something far more terrifying." Not responding, I quickly made my way towards the stairs. I met Calamity and the Doctor at the foot of the steps and quickly babbled out something that they failed to understand. I shouted the same thing in Buster and Bab's direction as I passed them by. It was only once I had gathered everyone together in the reception area that I found myself able to talk properly. "It's the dragon," I exclaimed through shortness of breath. "It's back... saw it from the tower." "Are you sure?" asked Susan. "How far away was it?" "A good distance," I replied. "Looked like it was moving away from us." "I knew he was back!" exclaimed Shirley. We all turned our gaze towards her, not quite understanding her obvious delight. Noticing that we were all looking at her she fell silent, a strange expression of guilt crossing her face. It was Brian who spoke first. "Forgive me if I'm wrong here but it seems to me that you're ever so slightly pleased it's back." Shirley remained silent, casting her eyes downward. "What are you not telling us Shirl?" asked Buster. Finally she looked up towards us, clearing her throat in readiness for an explanation. "There's kind of something that I haven't like, told you guys about." We all remained silent, awaiting the rest of her confession. "Well," she said. "I've sort of been in telepathic contact with the dragon for a while." We all exchanged glances, trying to figure out if what we'd just heard was correct. "How long?" I whispered. "Ever since that day we saw him on the beach I guess. His mind was so big and powerful I sort of just couldn't help it." "Ees this some sort of joke?" asked Fifi. "Fraid not Feef," answered Shirley with a slight hint of annoyance. "I know I should of told you guys this long ago but you were just like, far too scared of him. We can't all be perfect kay." "Well now that you have told us young lady what else do you know?" asked the Doctor. "Is the creature intelligent?" "Not really," replied Shirley. "Certainly no more intelligent than the average large animal. I was right about him not wanting to hurt us however. He only likes fish... gets them far out to sea or some junk." "Are you trying to tell us that you let us spend days defending this place when you knew all along we were safe?" asked Susan. "I tried to tell you guys at the time. You just wouldn't listen." "I suppose we didn't," I muttered. "Well," said Brian. "I guess we should thank you for finally setting our minds at rest about this issue... Even if it is three years too late." Plucky drew Shirley close and kissed her on the cheek. "Don't worry baby," he smiled. "I forgive you." She grinned and kissed him back. It was the first time that they had shown their affections this openly. Then, hand in hand they walked slowly away from us. I looked at the others and they looked at me. "Do you really believe that?" I asked. "At this stage I'd believe more or less anything," replied Buster. "Who else is up for a dip in the reservoir?" There was an unanimous show of hands. It was late in the Autumn when Sanjuro spotted the tripods. He had been helping Tom set up some snares when he noticed the giant walking machines through a gap in the trees. The first we heard of it was when he ran shouting and screaming through the corridors of the Looniversity, waving his sword around dangerously and babbling quite inconsistently. When we had finally managed to catch up with him and calm him down he explained what he had seen as best he could, using hand mannerisms to cover the sections where his limited English failed him. "Martians!" he exclaimed. "To the north. There were two machines." He had been a quick learner, having developed a reasonable mastery of the language over the space of about eight months or so and because Shirley had been his principle tutor, he had gained her accent and mannerisms. "How far off?" asked Brian. "Very far," continued the samurai. "Several miles or some junk." "Could be just a scouting party," I suggested. "They mightn't be necessarily moving towards us." "No," replied the Doctor. "If they are indeed checking out this area then I'm very much afraid they're about to move. I think we now have to face our worse case scenario." "Let's get out of here!" shouted Plucky. "The whole lot of us. We'll move down the coast." "After all we've achieved here," I shouted. "We can't just run out." "But we'll die if we stay here," continued the green duck. "Those things will blow us to smithereens or worse." "Larry ees right!" shouted Fifi. "We cannot just abandon zis place, not after all ze work we put into eet." "I'm not prepared to die over this building," said Buster. "For once I agree with Plucky." Babs nodded to signal her agreement also. As she did so I was horrified to see that Brian and Joseph were nodding too. "They're right Larry," said Brian. "This place ain't worth it. We have our lives to think about." I was speechless, turning to the others for help only to see that they were all equally divided. "I agree," exclaimed Chamberlain. "Let the Martians overrun this place. We shall be long gone by the time they arrive." I glanced towards Fifi but she seemed just as helpless as myself, watching in consternation as the differences of opinion within our community were made quite clear. Within a minute we had formed into two groups on either side of the corridor, each trying to convince the other of the sanity of it's argument. There were eight who wanted to leave, the two bunnies, Plucky, Chamberlain, Zira, Brian, Joseph and Tom Price glaring at the rest of us from across six feet of floor tiles. The remainder of us had huddled together as one, unsure of what to do. "All right then," said Joseph after a few moments. "It's quite clear who's got common sense here. We leave in the morning." "And just where will you run to?" asked the Doctor. "No matter where you go the Martians will turn up there eventually. We have to face them here and now." "Forget it old man," said Brian. "We haven't got a chance against those things." "There's always a chance as long as there's hope," he replied. "Save your hope," said Tom. "I've seen those fighting machines in action and I know we'd never survive." "Go then!" I shouted. "Get out of here the lot of you! We're better off without pessimists." Even as I spoke I realised I had made a grave mistake in letting my emotions out so aggressively. Brian looked at me long and hard, seemingly trying to formulate a clever response. After a few moments however he gave up, shaking his head slowly as he walked quietly away. Within a minute, the rest of them had followed suite. I turned to look at those who stood with me, the look of sorrow in their faces clearly evident. "They're probably right you know," I said finally. "We're mad to even think about staying here." "Madness and bravery walk hand in hand," replied the Doctor. "Don't worry my boy... We'll survive." "I hope you're right," I muttered. "For all our sakes I really hope so." I spent most of the night hoping that the others would change their mind about leaving, just waiting for the moment when either Brian or Joseph would enter my room and say that they had reconsidered. But as the hours of darkness wore on I began to realise that this wasn't going to happen. Fifi and myself sat staring at each other across a low table with a single candle between us, both feeling the same pain but being quite unable to put it into words. We spoke as we always did, telling stories from our childhood in order to keep our minds occupied and free of fear. But this time it wasn't working. This division within our group was the greatest threat we had ever faced and somehow it seemed that things could never be the same again. Neither of us slept, falling silent from time to time but never fully drifting off. The flame between us flickered and danced, distorting our shadows and throwing them high up onto the white painted walls that surrounded us. Then, in the early hours of the morning I quite suddenly and uncontrollably began to sob. Within a moment, my furry companion had followed suite. The dawn came quicker than expected, some loud noises coming from the surrounding rooms in the early hours as the others packed for their journey. By the time I had made my way to the main entrance they were already gathering upon the steps, babbling amongst themselves but falling silent as I approached. I could see from their reddened eyes that their night had been just as restless as my own. "Are you sure you won't come?" asked Brian after a few seconds. "The more of us there are the greater our chances." "I... I can't," I replied. "They need me here." Then, laying a hand on my shoulder he nodded. "Take care of yourself okay," he said, glancing up at the clock tower. "I'm really going to miss this place you know." I nodded slowly as the group moved down the steps, Brian giving me a final, sorrowful glance as he disappeared into the forest. It was just like their expedition of three years ago except this time they really weren't coming back. I stood upon the steps for several minutes, trying desperately to hold back the tears. Then, unable to take it anymore I simply sat myself down, roaring and crying as I rocked myself gently backwards and forwards with both hands pressed tightly against my temples. For the first time in my life I found myself loosing the desire to live, emotions spiralling out of control despite my best efforts. "Come back," I whispered to myself. "Please come back." From the forest there came nothing but silence, a cold breeze upon my body and the equally cold pinpricks of stray raindrops. And then, like the hand of an angel I felt someone lay their fingers upon my shoulder. Opening my eyes and looking up I saw that it was Plucky. Beside him stood Shirley and Fifi, a look of extreme sadness in their eyes. "Plucky," I whispered. "I thought... I thought you were leaving too." "Shirl wouldn't come," he replied. "I couldn't just abandon her now, could I?" Through my tears I suddenly smiled, some of my former strength returning. "You're a much better person than I've given you credit for," I said, grabbing him by the hand. "A much better person indeed." His only response was a smile, his free arm drawn tightly around Shirley and holding her close. "If what the Artilleryman tells us is indeed correct, the Martians are more or less helpless creatures once stripped of their technology." The Doctor spoke as always with a voice filled with authority, a slight twinkle to his eye as he stared towards us each and every one. "As far as we know they only have four machines, three of which are the large scale tripods and the fourth some manner of construction device. Much like the bigger machines, it too is fitted with what the Artilleryman so colourfully refers to as a heat ray but aside from that it doesn't seem half as well armoured." He had drawn some rough sketches of the machines in question upon the blackboard in one of the larger classrooms, walking stick held in hand as he addressed us as a teacher would his pupils. "So what can we do?" He looked directly at Plucky as he spoke, pointing his stick in the young duck's direction. Plucky gulped, glancing towards Calamity for help. "You have to think for yourself young man," frowned the Doctor. "You may not have your friends to help you once the moment arrives." "We could... We could dig trenches," spluttered Plucky. "It might trip their war machines up." "Very good!" exclaimed the Doctor. "There's hope for you yet." As the old man turned away Plucky gave the coyote a savage glance, pointing towards the Doctor as he did so. "This guy's worse than Foghorn!" he whispered. "Trenches might work," said Susan. "We could also try and spread lengths of chain between the trees for the same purpose. If we kept them well hidden it might take them by surprise, give us a fighting chance." "We could try and cut off their fuel supply," I suggested. "A good idea but alas we don't know what fuel source they're using," answered the Doctor. "I assume it's something they refine but as to what it is I have no idea." "Ze refining would be achieved by ze smaller machine no?" asked Fifi. "Almost certainly," said the Doctor. "From what I've heard of it, it appears more than well equipped for such a task." "Zhen I suggest we attack zat one first," exclaimed the skunk, standing up and facing us all. "It is ze smallest of ze four. We can do it easily." "Are you mad!" I asked. "It may not be well armoured but it's always got at least one of the big tripods with it." "I suppose we could like, create a diversion or some junk." All eyes turned towards Shirley. "We could try and draw the tripod away before attacking the little one," she continued. "We could use the roomounts. It would work fer sure." Sanjuro smiled as he listened, not understanding half of it but getting a fair idea of what we were discussing. "I shall go," he said after a few moments. "I am like, a totally fast runner. I'll draw the big guy away while the rest of you make your move." As he spoke he scratched the back of his head, twitching slightly in his position as he awaited our response. "Are you sure you could do it?" asked Shirley slowly. "You could be killed." "I've almost been killed many times," he replied. "Once more won't be much of a problem." The Doctor put down his stick on the teacher's desk, walking over to Sanjuro and running his eyes up and down the samurai's body. "You seem extremely fit," he said after a few moments. "More than any of us that's for certain. You're probably quite a fast runner." Sanjuro nodded and smiled. "I would not have reached the age I am now were it not for my fitness," he replied. "Even if he does go, what about the construction machine?" asked Susan. "It may not be well armoured but it's still more than we can handle." In response, Calamity walked up to the top of the class, taking out his trademark piece of card and scribbling something down quickly. Then, holding it up he showed us the message that he had written in bold red ink. "Did any of you ever hear of a petrol bomb?" Calamity used some petrol taken from an old generator that he had discovered in one of the storerooms, pouring it into some empty milkbottles taken from the arts room. There was only enough of these for ten bombs but according to the small coyote that amount would be more than enough. Each device was about fifteen inches high, filled to the three quarters way point with petrol and with an oily rag stuffed in the maw. Other than these, it would appear that our only weapon would be surprise. Then, after two days of carefully preparing ourselves, all ten of us set out towards the mountains on our roomounts, Gogo included. None of us had the courage to stay behind counting the hours in wait. This time we all wanted a piece of the action. Fear seemed to have deserted us, replaced with a basic desire to live. It no longer seemed to matter that the mission was highly dangerous, all that we now cared about was living the rest of our lives free of the Martian menace. We had to succeed. If we failed life would become next to unbearable. Ever since he had admitted his love for Shirley, Plucky had become a new person. Gone was his self centred personality and extreme cowardliness. All that remained now was a young, determined toon with a simple desire to protect his lover. He took the lead as we moved across the grassy plain, sometimes venturing out maybe a mile or more ahead of us in almost feverish anticipation of our ultimate encounter with the Martians. In many ways, he was the bravest of us all. It took a day and a half for us to reach the lower slopes of the mountains, hiding our roomounts behind a large outcropping of rock before making for the entrance to the valley. Red weed carpeted all the surrounding foliage, thick scarlet fronds creeping across grass and stone alike like glistening veins. Here and there, large cactus like plants sprouted upwards from the alien sea, quivering in the cold breeze as we passed as silently as possible. Then, while moving around a small clump of trees Plucky froze, holding his hand up as a signal for us to halt. There, standing amongst the red weed less than a mile away stood the glittering form of a tripod, rigid against the overcast sky. Behind it lay our quarry, the spider like construction device moving slowly across the grass, a tree trunk held in the clasp of one of it's mighty claws. Despite seeing it up close and realising how big it really was none of us so much as stepped backwards. We all knew that there was no turning back now. The job had to be done, it was as simple as that. "Is there just the one tripod?" I whispered. "As far as I can tell," replied Plucky, fingering the bottle within his grasp. "If there's another it's well hidden." As he spoke the tripod suddenly moved away from us, a terrible noise filling our ears. "Ulla.... Ulla" Still none of us blinked. It was now or never. I turned to see if Sanjuro was ready to go, noticing for the first time that he was no longer behind us. It was only a matter of seconds before Fifi answered the question that I had yet to ask. "Look!" she exclaimed. "He ees already moving!" All our eyes fell on the small form that was moving briskly away from us, the samurai crouching down on all fours in the long grass as he neared his target. Then, waiting until the tripod had swivelled it's hood towards him, he suddenly jumped up and shouted at the top of his voice, sword held high in the air. Whatever it was he had screamed none of us knew, it was clearly in Japanese. Regardless of its comprehensibility however, the tripod instantly began striding across the grass towards the tiny human, screaming out it's war cry once again as the samurai quickly bolted for the nearby trees. "Come on," shouted Plucky, lighting the rag in his bottle with a match that Calamity had given him. "This is our only chance!" As one we fled towards the construction device, each one of us lighting our rags and screaming as we held our bottles high. The device barely had time to turn around and face us before Plucky had reached it, hurling his bottle towards the hood as he ran between two of it's legs. It smashed against the cold metal exterior, falling to the grass in a shower of flames. "Come on!" screamed the duck. "Do the best you can!" The Martian tried to strike Plucky with one of the machine's huge metal claws but the little duck was far too quick for it. Leaping nimbly out of the way the claw struck only earth, the entire device shuddering under the impact. As it moved we all flung our bottles at almost the same moment, two of them falling inside the hood and exploding in a ball of fire. "Back!" I shouted. "Everybody back!" Before the words had even left my mouth there came a massive explosion, the machine's limbs jerking in a spasm like motion as black smoke poured from the now flaming hood. It finally managed to swivel round towards us, a flash of light as it used the weapon that up to this moment we had only heard about. I felt an extreme blast of heat as the beam missed my body by perhaps six feet, diving to the ground and covering my head with dirty hands. As I fell I heard a second explosion, a loud hooting coming from the machine as one of it's claws fell clean off, hitting the ground with an enormous thump that sent a quiver through my entire body. Then, almost in slow motion, the machine's legs buckled, the hood exploding in orange flame as the Martian within gave out a loud, drawn out scream. Just for a second I thought I saw it writhing in agony, a creature not unlike an octopus with many arms surrounding a large, bulbous body. But before I could fully take in the image it had gone, becoming lost in a sea of flame as black smoke poured out of the hood and darkened the sky. Struggling upwards, I ran towards the trees, noticing from the corner of my eye that the large tripod was already on it's way back. Sensing my friends close behind I plunged into the heavy undergrowth, all of us getting down low beneath a mass of red weed as the massive machine strode by and made for it's fallen comrade. Just as it reached the construction device the burning machine finally exploded, a large metallic claw slamming down into the grass less than twenty feet away from our hiding place. "Let's get out of here," whispered Fifi, each word spoken between deep intakes of breath. "Let's get out of zis place now!" Nodding, I began to crawl through the scarlet fronds towards the shelter of the trees, sweat pouring down my face as I moved. Beside me crouched the Doctor, his face reddened with exertion. I could hardly believe that such a seemingly old man could have moved as fast as I had seen him do. By the time we reached the trees we were all together, finally standing up and turning to view the devastation that we had wrought. The construction machine was now nothing but a pile of burning wreckage, a murdered insect destroyed by the might of a magnifying glass. The grass was smouldering on all sides, the huge tripod standing in the shimmering heat haze as it swivelled it's hood one way and then another, searching fruitlessly for those who had killed it's companion. I think we all smiled, realising that it had no idea where we were. Finally giving up, it howled once again before striding off into the distance. "There was no real need for us to murder the Martian," the Doctor muttered after a few moments. "We should have found some way to get it out of the machine before it exploded. Did you not hear it's dying screams." "Yes," I replied grimly. "But it was either him or us. You saw how powerful that heat ray was." The Doctor said nothing for a few moments, simply shaking his head as Susan held him gently by the hand. "Despite the Doctor's objections I'd call that a stunning victory," smiled the Artilleryman. "There's hope for us yet you know." Not responding I simply stared towards the burning machine, eyes focusing in on the surrounding grass and trees. "Where's Sanjuro?" I asked slowly. "He was supposed to meet us back here." We all looked towards the distant trees, a very sick feeling coming over us. "He said he was fast," whispered Shirley. "He'll be back... He's just like, taking his time." Her voice was clearly quivering, filled with unmistakable anxiety. None of us dared say anything, simply remaining silent as we stared blankly into the distance. We were still there late into the evening. We reached the Looniversity within twenty hours and despite our extreme tiredness we immediately made our way to the teacher's lounge for an emergency meeting. Then, once we had gathered in an orderly fashion around the snooker table, the Doctor spoke. "It's only a matter of time before the Martians figure out where that attack came from," he said grimly. "We must be on our guard for the next week or so. Knowing now that we constitute a serious threat they will almost certainly try and wipe us out." Shirley looked up with obvious pain in her eyes, shaking her head slowly from side to side as she cleared her throat. "Our friend is dead," she whispered coldly. "No matter what we plan now we can't bring him back. The others were right in getting away from here." "Our friend died because he believed in what we were doing," snapped the Doctor. "Maybe we can't bring him back but the least we can do is to honour his memory by continuing the fight." "It's crazy," sobbed Shirley. "How many of us will be left by the end of it?" Plucky laid a hand on her shoulder and cuddled her tightly, whispering something that was inaudible to the rest of us. "Running away is no option," continued the Doctor. "What could we do? Become nomads perhaps? The Martians will keep on moving until they have this entire land under their heel. Where will we run then?" "Grandfather's right," said Susan. "We have to face them now." Shirley continued to cry, looking up with reddened eyes. "Kay..," she sobbed. "I just don't want any more of us to die." "We won't," replied the Doctor, laying a kindly hand upon her shoulder. "If we use our minds we will survive." I wished I could have had his confidence. We had a short service for our fallen comrade early the next morning, placing another small cross by the side of the one we had already erected for the inhabitants of the castle. We engraved it simply with his name, all falling silent for a minute as we honoured his memory. He had been carving a spear for the past few days and I placed it into the soft soil directly behind the cross. "In memory of a brave warrior," I whispered. "May he rest in peace." Then in silence, we all made our way back to our rooms and mourned in private. I awoke to the heavy clanging of the clock tower bell, my heart throbbing as I sat bolt upright and stared towards the nearest window. It was early in the day from the look of it, the sky quite overcast with a mass of dark clouds. As I watched I saw Calamity run by, a spear clasped tightly in his grasp and a look of fear in his eyes. I didn't have to be told to realise what was happening. Quickly putting on my clothes and grabbing a hold of my bow and arrow I ran through the corridors towards the main entrance, finding everyone to be already gathered there in wait. High above, the bell finally fell silent, the distinctive features of Gogo Dodo peering down at us. "They've come at last," I muttered. "All three of them," shouted Plucky. "They're still about five miles or so away but they're moving pretty fast." As he spoke we heard a distinctive Martian howl from the distance, my stomach churning in fear. "We must keep thinking straight," expressed the Doctor. "Everyone to your positions." "We haven't had time to finish the trenches," I shouted. "We're not protected to the rear!" "No time now my boy," expressed the Doctor. "We'll just have to take this as it comes." As one, we all ran towards the fire that had been burning overnight, wrapping oily rags around our arrow heads and dipping them into the flames. As we did so, Calamity ran between each one of us handing out brass coloured helmets from a large wicker basket. He had been hard at work for the past two days, each helmet beaten from metal he had stripped from the Looniversity classrooms. I quickly slipped mine over my head, finding it to be slightly too large and rough around the edges. I was far too scared to care though, my hands trembling as I staggered away from the fire and took my position behind the statue of Bugs. As I crouched down low I saw the others vanish quickly to their respective hiding places, a cold wind bringing with it the first drops of rain. This was it... the moment we had all dreaded for so long. Whatever happened within the next few minutes would determine our entire future. The seconds passed with a painful slowness, my heart throbbing like mad as rain mixed with heavy sweat upon my forehead. The rag on the end of my arrow was now burning brightly, my hands tense and ready to fire. Just inside the main entrance crouched Plucky and Shirley, Fifi lying low behind the statue of Daffy to my left. I could tell from her expression that she was terrified. We were all terrified. Then, ever so slowly, we began to hear the tread of massive feet. "Ulla... Ulla..." The trees began to sway from side to side, several foresthogs running out into the open with squeals of terror. The rainfall grew stronger, a distinct rumble of thunder from the distance. "Ulla...Ulla..." Then, with a swiftness that took me totally by surprise, the grotesque hood of a fighting machine suddenly appeared above the branches. My heart missed a beat. Behind it appeared another, hood swivelling from side to side as the controlling Martian observed the area through thick, green coloured glass. Somewhere in the distance, I heard Susan scream. My nerve on the verge of breaking I suddenly stood up straight, rain lashing against my body as I raised my bow high. As I did so the first tripod suddenly stumbled, swaying to the left as it's foot got caught in one of our freshly dug trenches. This was it... The only moment we would get. Screaming at the top of my lungs, I fired my flaming arrow directly towards the metal monster, watching in horror as the smoking piece of wood bounced harmlessly off one of it's legs. Within a second there were over ten arrows flying through the air, all of us emerging from our hiding places and running madly towards the striding machines. Resuming it's balance, the first tripod raised it's heat ray high, a sudden loud hiss as an intense beam of heat flashed towards me. Diving to the ground, I heard a massive crash from behind as the statue of Bugs disintegrated into a pile of molten rock. "Ulla... Ulla..." The heat ray flashed again, the trees becoming a wall of flame. Getting up, I stumbled towards the fire, dipping two more arrows into the flames and firing them towards the advancing monsters. This time one of them penetrated the glass, the tripod tilting slightly as the controlling Martian attempted to compensate. As it moved, three more arrows hit home, black smoke now pouring into the sky as the creature within howled. There came a massive crunching noise as the tripod's feet got tangled up in one of our chain traps, the entire machine suddenly tilting at a forty degree angle. Loosing balance altogether, it wobbled slightly before keeling over, a single residual howl as the hood slammed into the ground less than twenty feet away from me. The glass shattered inward, legs jerking like mad as it tried to get up again. Before it had a chance Calamity had reached it, his spear held high as he ducked inside. Several seconds later there came a scream from the Martian, the small coyote reappearing from inside the hood with his fur streaked with blood. Before I had time to determine whether it was his own or the Martian's, a massive three pronged metal foot ploughed into the ground less than ten feet away from me, my eyes glancing upward as I fell to the wet grass. The second tripod towered high above me, heat ray aimed at the Looniversity as it's howl reverberated alongside a sudden crack of thunder. With a bright flash Daffy's statue lost it's head, the rest of it falling over and smashing into three pieces against the ground. Shirley and Plucky held each other tightly upon the steps, smoke billowing all around them as they stared death in the face. From the corner of my eye I saw the third tripod approach the building from the rear, Fifi firing a single arrow in it's direction as she screamed loudly. I knew that there was no hope. We were almost out of arrows. Our trenches and chain traps had failed to halt the Martian's advance. I awaited death with open eyes. And then, in a moment that will forever be engrained in my mind, there came a tremendous roar from the sky, hands covering my ears as I saw a massive shape appear out of the clouds. It was at least one hundred feet long, two massive green wings on either side of an enormous scaled body. My heart almost stopped. As I watched, the dragon swooped down low, eyes fixed upon the Martians as it signalled it's arrival with an ear splitting roar. The third tripod raised it's heat ray and fired at the rapidly approaching beast, beam flashing harmlessly away into the sky as the dragon tilted sharply to the left. Then, claws held out in front of itself it slammed into the machine that stood directly above me, the Martian barely having time to howl as it tumbled towards the flaming trees. With a tremendous crash it slammed into the earth, the hood exploding on impact. The third tripod fired it's heat ray again, this time hitting the dragon's left wing. Screeching, the beast flew straight into the metal monster, the two giants falling to the ground with a tremendous concussion. At least half the windows of the Looniversity shattered as black smoke filled the air, the writhing dragon barely visible through the heat haze. There came another crack of thunder, my body now soaked to the skin as I stared at the tremendous sight before me in a bizarre combination of terror and awe. Out of the smoke rose the dragon's tail, yet another deafening roar filling our ears as flames shot high up into the sky. About fifty feet away from me stood Fifi, lavender furred body streaked with dirt and her bow still clasped in hand. She was simply standing open mouthed, tail curled tightly around her body. There came a final howl from the fallen tripod, one of it's legs jerking as the dragon slowly tore it to pieces. Then, raising it's scaly head high into the air the beast's neck frill glowed bright red, huge wings extending as it prepared for take off. I was now far too stunned for fear to take effect, eyes simply following the beast as it rose slowly into the air, a large piece of the tripod's hood clasped in it's claws as it began to glide swiftly away from us. It circled the area once, giving out one final roar before finally disappearing beyond the flaming treetops. Rain falling heaving all around I glanced towards my soaked companions, all of them carrying the same identical expression of astonishment as myself. All except Shirley. She was simply staring towards the trees, a broad smile clearly visible upon her face as she waved slowly. "Thank you," she whispered. "I knew you'd come." And seemingly in exhaustion, she collapsed unconscious to the cold concrete steps. PART FOUR THE ADVANCE OF TIME It rained constantly for the next two days, putting an end to the fires that had threatened to consume the forest. Shirley was in a coma for almost a week and when she did finally recover, she had no recollection of the final battle with the Martians. Despite this, we all assumed that she had used her psychic connection with the dragon to bring us some much needed help in our darkest hour. No one was prepared to speculate further. With all major dangers seemingly now in the past, we began to settle back into our regular lifestyle as the weeks wore on. A general effort to improve our way of life took precedence over a need to defend ourselves and as time advanced, protective comforts such as the nightly fires and the digging of trenches grew less and less. It was generally assumed that there were no more Martians lurking in the distance, the massive dragon now an undisputed hero rather than a threat. Despite the loss of Tom and his excellent trapping skills, we continued hunting the watchers, becoming quite expert at it the more practice we got. In time, our diet was expanded to include several new types of berries and vegetables, even the odd stew made from the still to be found red weed. The strange alien plant had obviously been cultivated by the Martians for as soon as they had been wiped out it swiftly began to vanish. There were still places where it could be found for long after however, mainly gathered in clumps around rivers and streams but even these patches were growing smaller each month. Within a year, it had vanished altogether. Plucky and Shirley's relationship grew stronger by the day and they would often disappear into the forest together for hours on end. No one thought anything of it when Shirley started to act slightly peculiar, getting sick in the mornings and becoming very adventurous in her diet. It was only when the Doctor pointed out to us that she was pregnant that we suddenly realised how foolish we had been to miss it. Although none of us were quite sure how to deal with the situation, we tried to make her feel as comfortable as possible, watching her expanding stomach with a combination of fear and delightful expectation. None of us were too sure what we would do when the moment finally arrived but Fifi convinced Shirley that all would be well. Although the school library seemed to contain mostly academic textbooks relating to toon logic, I did manage to find a couple of medical tomes and I tried to take in as much information on childbirth as possible in the small amount of time that we had. They might as well have been written in Chinese for all the good they did me and after I had reread both of them for the third time I came to realise that when the moment finally arrived we would more than likely have to improvise. Despite the ending of the Martian threat our old friends never rejoined us at the Looniversity. Although they returned a few times in order to trade or simply just to visit, they somehow seemed cold and distant, as if our time apart had driven a wedge between us. Although each group was more than willing to forgive the other, they decided to keep to themselves, having come to enjoy their nomadic lifestyle. At one stage Buster and Babs even tried to convince the other toons to go with them but their only reply was a quiet no. Whether we liked it or not, the Looniversity was now our home and we had no wish for our little family unit to be broken up any further. After asking at least three times the two rabbits finally gave up, deciding to respect the wishes of their old friends. They mostly stayed within fifty miles of us however, and on many occasions we would run across them while out foraging. Despite our differences, a strong friendship was retained. Shirley finally gave birth during the coldest month of the year, the teacher's lounge becoming a temporary maternity ward as we all spent a period of perhaps ten hours or more dashing around the place with hot water and blankets. Fifi eventually took control of the situation, delivering the baby almost single handily while the rest of us fell into a state of sheer panic. The child was a boy, very small with snow white feathers and intense blue eyes. For seemingly no other reason than she had spent her many hours in labour staring at a globe, Shirley named the child Zanzibar, her and Plucky refusing to stray away from him even for a moment. According to a book I had read on toon children, the baby was extremely healthy at three pounds four ounces, just about the average weight of a new-born duck. Needless to say, over the following few months his nightly screaming sessions kept us all awake for hours. The Doctor and Calamity were examining some test tubes when I walked into the science lab early one morning, the old man not bothering to look up as I entered. "Very interesting," he muttered. "Very interesting indeed." I didn't bother asking any questions, simply walking over to his side and laying my hands on the side of the desk. "What is it Mr. Summers?" he asked, getting my name wrong as always. "It's about Zanzi," I said. "I've been thinking about him all week and about what you told me a long time ago... About the fact that we may all be nothing more than fictional characters." "There's no may about it," replied the Doctor, holding up the test tube. "These tests I've been running show that we're all genetically identical regardless of species. I think that suggests beyond a shadow of a doubt that we've been put here for a reason." "If you say so," I muttered. "But what about Zanzi? He was born here right? Does that make him real?" "I genuinely don't know my boy," answered the Doctor. "It's possible I suppose. I'd need to take a blood sample to tell for sure but I don't think his parents would appreciate me sticking a needle in their baby." The Doctor suddenly developed an odd expression, staring me straight in the eye. "There is one thing however," he whispered. "What's that?" "Young Zanzibar seems to be ageing. Have you seen how big he is now?" "He's growing normally from what I can tell," I replied. "But what is normal?" asked the Doctor. "Haven't you noticed the fact that you don't seem to have aged a day since you first found yourself on that beach? You may have grown yourself a beard and have your hair hanging long but you're no older at all." "It's only been four and a half years," I answered. "People don't age that fast anyway." "Trust me I can tell," continued the Doctor. "And the urine samples that I've been taking from all of us confirm the fact. No one in this building is ageing but Zanzibar." "Are you trying to tell me that we're all going to stay young forever?" I whispered. "I don't know," he replied. "Unless we die in accidents I think it may just be possible." I fell silent, unsure of what to say. Then, after several minutes of staring into space I finally spoke. "Then I guess you were right all along. We are just figments of someone else's imagination." "We are who we are," he replied. "You have a mind and a soul just like any real person. We all do. It doesn't matter that our pasts never really happened... What does matter is that we're all alive and well now." I nodded slowly, my gaze falling on Calamity who was smiling in my direction. "I suppose so," I said. I met Fifi in the corridor a few minutes later and instinctively hugged her, running my fingers through her warm lavender fur. "What was zat for?" she giggled. "I don't know," I replied. "A signal of acceptance perhaps." "Excuse moi?" she asked. "Never mind," I smiled, rubbing her soft, furry head. "I think everything's going to work out fine from now on." And still smiling I wandered down the corridor. By Zanzi's first birthday it was quite clear that the Doctor was correct. The child was now quite big and could walk by himself, his few words spoken in a strange combination of all our accents. We had a party for him down on the beach, the sun shining brightly as we presented him with a large piece of fruit with a candle stuck in it. He laughed out loud as he blew it out on the first attempt, trying to join in as we all sang Happy Birthday. Not knowing the words however he could only hum, giggling as he saw us smile. I had carved him a small toy car as a present, giving it to him after everyone else had handed him their own gifts. His look of confusion clearly showed that he had no idea what it was but after a quick demonstration by myself he clasped it tightly within his grasp and began to run it up and down the length of the table. "You learn fast," I told him. "You're going to be a great kid." Smiling, he continued on playing. "What is it Uncle Larry?" Zanzi was now ten years old and still had the little car. He was now almost as tall as his parents and looked somewhat like a white feathered version of Plucky. I had been sitting on the steps of the Looniversity when he had sneaked up behind me as he liked to do, suddenly laying his hands upon my shoulders in an effort to scare me. Although his sudden attacks had ceased to surprise me long ago I always pretended that they did, a look on delight appearing upon the young duck's face every time. It was only after several minutes of sitting beside me that he asked the question about the car, his words surprising me by virtue of the fact that it was the first time the subject had come up. "It's a motorcar," I answered. "I told you what it was called before." "I know what it's called," he replied. "What's it for though?" "Well," I muttered. "It was... Well it was a transport device. A real car was much bigger than that of course, large enough to carry about six people." "Would a real car be pulled by roomounts or some junk?" he asked. "Well no," I said. "Real cars ran by themselves. They had a... had a combustion engine." He obviously didn't understand the words but he seemed to know the meaning. "Were you ever in one?" he asked. "I remember being in hundreds of them," I replied. "Aeroplanes too. They were a bit like motorcars but travelled through the sky. Like giant mechanical birds I suppose." "I don't believe you," he laughed. "How would they stay up in the air?" "I don't know," I replied after a few moments of thought. "I never figured that one out myself." "You're silly Uncle Larry," he giggled. "They're just fairy stories." "Maybe they are," I answered with a smile. "Maybe they are." By the time Zanzi was twenty he was almost twice the height of his parents and roughly shoulder height with myself. No one else but him had aged, a fact that if he had noticed, he had never mentioned. He simply lived his life as we did, working to survive in an unfriendly environment. That said, our standard of life had improved somewhat dramatically over the years. Using metal left over from the fallen tripods, the Doctor had constructed a pipeline that carried water into the building and together with Calamity he had even constructed a heater that made it possible for us to take warm baths for the first time. They had also constructed a set of crude solar panels that provided us with limited electricity. Although most of the old bulbs in the building were no longer working we did get some enjoyment out of an old film projector that we had found in the vaults. There was nothing else on offer but some old cartoons but we watched them over and over again just the same. For Zanzi it was the equivalent of magic. For the other toons it was a window on a world that they now knew had only ever existed in their minds. Sometimes we would stay up all night watching them, falling asleep with the projector still running. By this stage we had become quite adapt at making our own clothing and most of our garments had been put together from the multicoloured feathers of some strange, peacock like birds that we had found while exploring the shoreline. We had brought several of them back with us and they had now bred to such an extent that there were close to two hundred of them wandering the nearby forest. Life was getting far easier for us, a situation that was not before time. Zanzi's thirtieth birthday came and went, his fortieth coming along so quickly it scared us all. Time seemed to have lost it's meaning. Days flowed into weeks to become one long, continuos blur, each year seemingly no different from the last. Plucky and Shirley never had another child, knowing in their heart and soul that one day they would see Zanzi grow old and die. They never mentioned it but you could tell from their eyes the inner pain they felt. For some the prospect of immortality would seem to be a dream come true but we all knew the terrible truth. Immortality was a curse unless it was given to everyone equally and Zanzi had been dealt a poor hand. But Zanzi was something more than any of us could ever be. His childhood memories were real. The good times, the bad times, they had all actually happened. Unlike the rest of us, Zanzi could really say that he had lived a full life. From the age of about fifty five onwards, Zanzi would become violently ill on a regular basis and no alteration of diet seemed to help. Sometimes he would become so bad that he was bedridden for weeks on end, vomiting up almost anything that was fed to him. "It's his age catching up with him," the Doctor had told us. That was when we knew he hadn't got long left. No matter how much we all tried to block it from our minds the inescapable truth that Zanzi was going to die was never fully eradicated. We all tried to prepare ourselves for it as best we could, going out of our way to be as nice to him as possible. He knew by this stage that he was very different from the rest of us. We couldn't tell him why of course because we didn't quite know ourselves. Watching him talk to his parents was a truly bizarre sight, a fifty five year old duck whose mother and father were still both teenagers. His white feathers were greying at the edges now, his once bright blue eyes now dull and glassy. He couldn't keep up with us as we worked, having to rest for longer and longer periods each day. Yet despite this he was always good humoured and kind, best friends with all of us and going out of his way to be as polite as possible. He still called me 'Uncle Larry', had pet names for us all in fact. He even referred to the Doctor as grandfather. In many ways this was making it even harder on us. It was late one evening in high summer, many, many years after our arrival in this place that I sat with Fifi and Zanzi upon the cliff face, staring towards the setting sun as the red tinted waves crashed against the shore far below us. Sometimes, the waves would come in so forcefully that we were showered by white flecks of spray, both Fifi and Zanzi giggling loudly whenever this occurred. She sat with her tail curled around the old duck, her cheek pressed against his arm. I think she thought that if she held him tightly enough nothing could happen to him. Of all of us, she was the most emotional about his inevitable death, sometimes crying for hours on end when the thought came into her head. But on this particular day we were attempting to have some fun, a little picnic just for the three of us. The food lay scattered on the grass behind us, a cold breeze chilling our bodies despite the fact that we were wrapped up well. I wore the helmet that Calamity had given me on the day long ago when the Martians had attacked. It was still reasonably clean, slightly dented and tarnished perhaps but it made for a fine hat nonetheless. Both Fifi and Zanzi wore clothing made from the peacock feathers, the young skunk having made herself a wonderful head-dress that gave her a distinctly regal appearance. The feathers that covered it fluttered mildly in the breeze, her eyes closing as she took several deep breaths. It was the little moments like this that made us forget our hardships and simply realise how great it was to be alive. It was Zanzi who broke the silence, quickly getting to his feet and pointing downwards. "What's that Uncle Larry?" he asked. "Down there on the beach?" Fifi and myself both followed his gaze to see five roomounts heading towards us, a dark cloaked figure seated upon the first. Whoever it was held a long staff in one hand, the cloak trailing off behind them as a billowing cape. Three of the other roomounts held a similarly dressed rider, the third simply carrying some packages. "No one we've seen before anyway," I answered. "Ave zey spotted us?" asked Fifi, her voice filling with fear. "I guess so," I replied, standing up. "I suppose the best thing we can do is to say hello." Together, the three of us climbed slowly down the cliff face, the uneven surface giving us plenty of handholds. It took us about five minutes to reach the beach, by which time all five roomounts had come to a halt and their riders dismounted. I eyed the newcomers carefully for a few moments, wondering what to say. Although they didn't appear to be carrying any weapons, their black cloaks and firmly held staffs gave them a distinctly eerie appearance, like messengers of death here to claim us all. The wind blew harshly against our bodies, the crashing of the waves against the nearby rocks intermittently showering us with spray. Strangely enough, it was Zanzi who spoke first. "Who...Who are you?" Despite the fact that he wasn't used to strangers, the words came out firmly and with no trace of fear. The one who appeared to be the leader slowly walked towards us, the cloak thrust open by the wind as we watched. It was a toon. An oddly familiar one at that. Standing about four feet high, the newcomer was clearly a female squirrel, grey fur covering her body and a large, bushy tail protruding from behind. Upon her head sat a extremely battered old hat, a single wilting flower drooping to the left. "Slappy?" I asked after a few moments of stunned silence. "Is... Is it really you?" "If it ain't you better call my agent," she grinned. I remembered her well, an oddly aggressive but at the same time quite charming individual whom I had encountered a number of times during those long gone days when I used to make regular trips to the castle. As she spoke the others removed their cloaks to reveal a varied group, three humans and another toon that I didn't recognise. He looked like a five foot rabbit, orange furred and with the same intense expression that Zanzi possessed. "But I thought... We all thought..." I trailed off, unsure of how to continue. "That I was dead?" Slappy asked. "A lot of people have told me that I look dead but I ain't lying down just yet." "But ze Martians," said Fifi. "Zey destroyed the castle." "I can't be gotten rid of that easily," she said with another smile. "People have been trying to blow me up my whole life but I'm still here." "After the castle was destroyed we moved east," said one of the humans, a tall man that I instantly recognised as Roger Thornhill. "Along the coast we came across another group, a party of five living in a beached ship. We moved in with them so to speak. As time went by another two wandering groups joined up with us." "Aren't you going to say hello to me Larry?" I looked towards the final person, a heavily bearded man that stood with his head held high. "Brian!" I exclaimed, running forward and shaking his hand. "It's been years!" "Too long," he answered. "How's the Looniversity?" "Still standing," I replied. "A bit musty in places but then again, so am I." Smiling, Brian pointed towards the toon rabbit. "I'd like you to meet Buster Junior," he said. "If a middle aged rabbit can be referred to as junior that is." I looked towards the rabbit and smiled. "How are your parents?" I asked. "Getting along just fine," he replied with a grin. "You know them?" "I used to. Fine toons, both of them. Maybe I'll see them again some time." "Allo Bustair," smiled Fifi. "You must be so proud of your mere and pere." "You must be Fifi LaFume!" he exclaimed. "My dad told me all about you. He said you were very beautiful." "He did?" she exclaimed with an extremely wide grin. "I never knew he was interested in moi." "It's getting late," I said, pointing towards the setting sun. "I think we should finish this conversation indoors don't you?" There was a nod of agreement all round. We all gathered together in the teacher's lounge and talked for hours on end, the visiting group telling us many tales of their life on the opposite side of the continent. Apparently their group now numbered sixty eight, many of them ageing offspring just like Zanzi. They had long since abandoned the beached ship and had constructed a small town of perhaps ten houses or more, up to three families living in each one. Although their life was simple it was fulfilling, everybody working together for the common good. There were no major threats to them either, a few large animals living in the surrounding grasslands perhaps but they were mostly harmless. They had even learned to live in peace with the Mahars, a race of intelligent Pterodactyls that inhabited a small island off the coast. "And what of this land?" the Doctor had asked. "Do you know anything about it?" Slappy explained that her small group were currently on a long expedition to try and map out the entire coastline, a trip that had so far taken eleven months. They had come to the conclusion that the continent was over a thousand miles across at its widest point and that at an early estimation it was at least two and a half thousand miles in length. "We call it Cardonia," she had told us. "But as to why that name was chosen don't ask me. One of the guys back home came up with it." "We've met several more groups along the way," explained Brian. "From what we've seen so far I reckon there's a population of at least one hundred thousand." As the night wore on the conversation turned to the theme of our seemingly ageless bodies, a subject that no one seemed to have a firm understanding of. Most of us simply accepted it at this stage, not thinking about the future but simply living for the moment. "Perhaps it's better not to know," Brian had said. "If that sort of knowledge was intended for us we'd have found out long ago." I think everyone agreed. The group of four stayed with us for a week, helping out wherever they could and all the time telling us more and more about this place they called Cardonia. Despite their promises to return we were all quite sad to see them getting ready to leave, especially Zanzi. He and Buster Jr had gotten along very well indeed, both of them finding solace in the fact that the other was similarly effected by ageing. It really came as no surprise when Zanzi came to us and said he was going with them. "I know I haven't got long left," he said to me. "It's just that I want to see some of this world before I die. I want to see strange landscapes and meet new people. Can't you understand that?" "I suppose so," I replied. "If that's what you really want to do then I'm not going to stop you." "Thank's Uncle Larry," he said as he hugged me tightly. "You were always good to me." I really had to struggle to hold back the tears. Despite our great sadness at Zanzi's decision we couldn't really say no. He deserved this chance more than any of us. Having spent his entire life in the ten square miles that surrounded the Looniversity he deserved a change of scenery. Plucky and Shirley were very upset indeed but they respected his desires and even helped him pack. "I'll be back," he told them. "I'm not going away for good you know." Despite his words they both cried for days after his departure. Zanzi was gone for almost two years, Plucky and Shirley standing on the steps every day during this time awaiting his return. The rest of us were no different, myself and Fifi sometimes standing up on the clock tower for hours on end scanning the horizon for any sign of movement. When one day we saw three roomounts approaching from the mountains we almost thought we were imagining things, Fifi rubbing her eyes in disbelief. By the time they reached the main entrance everyone was waiting for them, a cry of delight all round as the familiar form of Zanzi dismounted. He was visibly sick, some of his feathers missing and an odd swaying motion to his gait but we were still unbelievably pleased to see him, Shirley hugging him constantly for at least a week. He had been from one side of Cardonia to the other, met hundreds of new people and had had more adventures than the rest of us put together. The Doctor was pretty envious of this. It would seem that Zanzi had in reality become the explorer that he himself had only ever been in his mind. The trip had got the better of him though. From this point on he was almost always bedridden, not a week going by when he wasn't sick. Sometimes he would drift off into his own little world, speak to people who weren't there and cry out in the night. We knew now more than ever that his days were numbered. It was quite soon after Zanzi's return that the Doctor came to me to say goodbye. He was dressed up in a heavy cloak and helmet, a belt containing various shining gadgets attached to his waist and a heavy bag slung over one shoulder. He looked ready for a very long journey. "What do you mean goodbye?" I asked slowly. "Zanzibar's little excursion has made me quite envious my boy," he answered. "Makes me realise just how little travelling I've actually done." "But you've done quite a bit. You were on the first expedition, you were the one who found the castle and the second group." "That was a very long time ago," he replied. "I yearn for adventure every day you know, it's in my blood I suppose. In many ways I think I'd really like to become that person my memory tells me I am." I looked at him for a moment, trying to think of something that would make him change his mind. But nothing would come. "What about Susan?" I asked after a few seconds. "You can't just abandon her." "She's coming with me. We're both eager to see some of this world, get to know the local populace so to speak." "You've said it to the others?" "I told Madame LaFume earlier on this morning. She understands, I was hoping you would too." For a few moments I wasn't sure what to say. Then I smiled. "I suppose I do," I said, holding out my hand. "Just be careful out there okay." The Doctor grinned, clasping my hand and shaking it heartily. "I will my boy, I will. You're a fine young man Mr. Sullivan. Don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise." I grinned, realising that for the first time in all the years that I had known him he had finally got my name right. "Thank's Grandfather," I whispered. "Thanks for everything." He left an hour later, him and Susan riding their roomounts into a fiery sunset. It was early one morning as I was bathing in the Dragol that Fifi came to me in a state of near panic. "It ees Zanzi," she cried. "I zink it may be tres serious zis time." We ran through the forest as quickly as we could, time seemingly slowing to a crawl as the Looniversity clock tower appeared in the distance. My mind was already alive with horrible possibilities, my heart thumping madly within my chest as I moved. I wasn't ready for this... I don't think I ever would be. By the time we reached his bedside everyone else was already tightly gathered around, Shirley's tears dripping to her son's chest as Plucky held her tightly. "You don't have to cry mother," Zanzi croaked, stroking the side of her face. "I've done everything I wanted to... I've seen things that I never dreamed I would. Nothing can take those memories away from me now." "You're more than any of us could ever be," I whispered, kneeling down by the bedside. "Your life was real. All your memories... Your mother and father, your childhood. They all really existed, you know they did." Not saying anything he simply smiled, grabbing a hold of my hand. "I love you son," sobbed Shirley, holding his other hand. "I always will." And then he was gone. No long, drawn out death or final words. He simply closed his eyes and never opened them again. We all bowed our heads, silence filling the room as the sad truth finally sunk in. And then, seemingly as one, we all cried. As the sun began to set I wandered out of the building alone, making my way through the forest towards the darkening beach. It was cold but I didn't care. Life seemed so empty now, so meaningless. The sky above was streaked with redness, the setting sun a vast red ball on the distant horizon. Here and there, the brightest stars were already visible, a cold breeze whispering against my face as I stepped out of the trees onto the sand. I stood there for perhaps half an hour or more, very close to the spot where I had first found myself more than sixty years ago. Much like myself, the area seemed no different. The waves crashed against the nearby cliffs, spray shooting high into the air like giant snowflakes. The wonders of nature had lost their lustre, become tarnished by the death of a friend. I somehow felt as if I would never be happy again. I was standing there for quite a while before I felt the presence, spinning around in alarm as I heard the crackling of breaking twigs. There, standing at the fringes of the forest was a very bizarre creature, a five foot high brown feathered animal that looked somewhat like a giant owl. It had huge dark eyes in which I could see myself reflected, two long feathered arms that culminated in three fingered claws. I felt little to no fear, my feelings of sorrow blocking all other emotions. Somehow the creature seemed oddly familiar. I had seen it before, I was sure of it. But where? Then it struck me. It had been a very long time ago, just after my first night in the Looniversity. I had seen it perched high on the clock tower. "Larry Sullivan?" The voice came into my head without any movement of the creature's beak, a long feathered arm pointing in my direction. Despite it's source there seemed to be a friendly tone to the voice, a sense of concern even. "Yes..." I whispered. "How do you know my name?" "Why are you so sad?" it asked without answering my question. "Is it because the little one has died?" I nodded slowly. "He was a good friend. A very good friend indeed." "You will remember him of course?" "Yes... I'll never forget him." "Then he shall live forever... as shall the ones who created you." I blinked, trying to decipher what I had just heard. "The ones who created me?" "Mankind," replied the creature. "You were born through their myths and legends. We may have given you life but they were to ones who brought you into being." "Are you trying to tell me that it is you... your kind who is responsible for me being here?" "We are a race of storytellers," continued the creature without moving. "Over the past million years we have travelled from one side of the universe to the other... collected the tales of a thousand worlds. Those cultures may be long gone now but through their works of fiction they will always live on." "I don't understand," I whispered. "Why... Why am I here?" "Your purpose here is to serve as a monument to the peoples of the Earth. You and the other inhabitants of this continent are now all that remains of their culture." "The Earth is gone?" I asked slowly. "It's sun died more than ten thousand years ago. The last human being is now but dust. You will live on though and as long as you survive then they will never be gone." "Then I am just a fictional character," I answered. "We all are." "It is true that your origins lie in a work of fiction. But we have given you life... given you what you would refer to as a soul. We have provided you with suitable food, given you shelter. We do this so that no race ever need die. It is true that we have made mistakes. Bringing the Martians here was one such error but despite that we have tried to make you as comfortable as possible." I fell silent, drawing my eyes away from the creature and staring at the distant horizon. The sun had now all but vanished, the sky growing increasingly dark by the moment. Everything had the feeling of a dream, a distinct sense of unreality. For one brief moment I thought I was about to wake up back on the train, being nudged into consciousness by my friends as we pulled into Heuston Station. But it never happened, the world about me remaining as it was. "Will I die?" I finally asked after several minutes. "Perhaps," replied the creature. "You were designed to be genetically perfect however. It might be many hundreds of years before you begin to age." "Unlike Zanzi," I whispered. "Children were unexpected. I am sorry for your pain." I glanced back towards the creature, head throbbing. It was all too much to take in, too much to believe. Was this thing really what it claimed to be? "Sorry for my pain?" I shouted. "Do you think you were right in giving us life?" "It was the right thing to do for the Earth. As long as you survive it will live on in your heart." Then, as I watched, the creature seemed to glow brightly. It rose slowly into the air, massive feathered wings extending on both sides. "You will understand in time. One day, perhaps when you are more prepared, we shall meet again." And then, in a sudden flash of light it was gone. Creeping darkness returned, stars shining bright as the evening finally gave way to night. Had it been real? I shook my head, unsure of anything. "Are you okay Larry?" I turned around to see Fifi exit the forest, her eyes still reddened from crying but with a smile upon her face. "Better now that you've come along," I replied, hugging her tightly. Whether the creature had been real or not no longer seemed to matter. The words it had spoken had been quite correct. As long as we remembered Zanzi then he would never be dead. And somehow, it no longer seemed to bother me that my childhood had never really taken place. For it existed in my mind and nothing could ever take that away from me. Memories were part of who I was, part of all of us. And as this thought entered my head I suddenly found myself smiling, experiencing happiness for the first occasion in a long, long time. Perhaps I had been born out of the pen of a long dead writer but that no longer mattered. It no longer mattered for one good reason. I was alive. THE END That's it then. If anyone would like to add anything to this story, perhaps write a sequel or fill in some of the details about what happened during the six decades or so following the Martian defeat then by all means feel free to do so. With the exception of Larry, Joseph, Brian, Zanzibar and Buster Jr, all featured characters in this story are taken from film, books and tv. The Tiny Toons gang and Slappy Squirrel you know, so no explanations are needed there. The Doctor and Susan are both taken from the first season of the British science fiction show Dr.Who. On screen, the Doctor was played by the late William Hartnell and Susan by Carol Ann Ford. Hartnell was the first of eight actors to play the renegade Time Lord. The Artilleryman, the Martians and their war machines are taken from the classic novel The War of the Worlds, first published in 1898 and probably the best piece of work by H.G.Wells. (Well, in my humble opinion anyway) Sanjuro is taken from the movies Yojimbo (1961) and it's sequel Sanjuro (1962), both directed by Akira Kurosawa. On screen the character was played by the great Toshiro Mifune. Both these movies are excellent and are well worth checking out if you can tolerate subtitles. Chamberlain is taken from the early eighties fantasy movie The Dark Crystal, an all puppet feature from the late Jim Henson. Tom Price was featured in the first season of the BBC tv series Survivors. He was portrayed on screen by the great Welsh actor Talfryn Thomas. Along with TTA, Survivors is probably my favourite show of all time. Pity I've only ever been able to see season one... Zira the chimpanzee is from Planet of the Apes and the briefly mentioned Roger Thornhill was the main character in the Hitchcock thriller North by Northwest. They were played by Kim Hunter and Cary Grant respectively. And least I forget, the Mahars featured heavily in Edgar Rice Burrough's Pellucidar novels, the first of which was At the Earth's Core (1922). THE LEGAL BIT... All Tiny Toons characters and Slappy Squirrel are copyright of Warner Bros. The Doctor, Susan and Tom Price are copyright of BBC Enterprises. All characters from War of the Worlds are copyright the estate of H.G.Wells Sanjuro is copyright of... er... Toho Studios I think. All featured characters are copyright of their respective owners and are used without permission.