Shifting Circles
By Felica Tabby  (f_tabby@hotmail.com)

     "...And whe-when a toon finds himself in a te-terrifying or p-perhaps harmful pe-
predicament the toon must produce an ea-exaggerated re-reaction for optimal come-
coma-comi-uh....funniness." Porky Pig finished his lecture as he stepped away from the
complex diagram etched on the chalk board.
     "Th-the results le-look something like this." Porky said to which he exploded into a
wild take. His eyes grew three times their normal size and stretched out far from his head.
His jaw fell completely to the ground as the rest of him seemed to float above it in
suspended fright. A large tongue rolled unnaturally far out of his mouth and on the end of
it was posted a small sign with the word "Yikes!" The top half of his bulbous head
exploded off and a train whistle popped out and screamed loudly.
     Then, as quick has he had begun, Porky reverted back into his normal self and looked
expectantly at his class. "And the-that's what is known as a w-wild take. Does anyone we-
want to try? T-te Tanya?"
     The pig teacher looked down at the young tiger student who was sitting front and
center in his class room. Tanya looked like she was doing her own version of a wild take
at the moment. She had been chewing on her pencil which fell from her extended jaw and
clattered noisily on her desk in the deathly silent classroom.
     "Holy crap! No way!" she suddenly exclaimed and jetted from her desk. She pounced
on the door and frantically tried to pry it open. "Hey! Who locked the door?!?" She
started pounding on it urgently as Porky advanced on her. "Someone let me out of this
freaky psycho ward!"
     "Ne-now Tanya." Porky said as he stepped closer. "It's n-not that bad. Just give it a
try."
     Tanya backed up against the door and stared at him with the terror of a cornered
animal. "No chance! Maybe you want to have the world record for throwing your eye balls
across the room, but not me. Not this little orange kitty. No sir! No how! NO WAY!"

     The bell rang, signaling the end of school for that day and toons of all shapes and sizes
descended the Looniversity steps. On one of the steps near the top sat Tanya Tiger,
hunched over and covering her face with her paws as eager students filed past her on their
way home.
     "Hey Tanya, what's the matter?" Marty asked as he walked out with the rest of them.
     "My eyes hurt sooooo bad." Tanya moaned, not moving her paws from her face.
     Marty looked down at her. "Why?"
     "Hey, there's Ms. Rockets-From-Their-Sockets!" Trudy giggled as he approached
them. The young lioness came down the stairs slower than the rest of the toons. She had
to watch each step carefully for the fact that she was wearing a pair of sea green roller
skates.
     "You're still wearing those things?" Marty criticized.
     "Have been since lunch." Trudy replied brightly. "I'm going for a new record this year."
     "Heh, good luck with the stiffs at this school." Marty huffed and then looked down at
his orange furred friend. "So what happened to you Tanya?"
     "The teacher made her do a wild take in front of the class." Trudy snickered before
Tanya could answer. "You shoulda seen it Marty! Tanya's eyes bugged out so far out of
her head they pushed the teacher out the window!!" Trudy interrupted into laughter.
     Tanya growled something from her place and without looking, reached out and shoved
her cousin. Trudy cried in surprise when she lost her balance and then started screaming as
she rolled and bounced uncontrollably down the long flight of stairs, unable to stop with
her skates on.
     "Hey, I saw that when I was sluffing on the football field." Marty recalled, indifferent
to the sounds of Trudy's screaming and then her brutal crash at the bottom. "I bet that guy
wishes his class room wasn't up so high. Good job Tan!"
     "Yeah, but now I have five more hours of detention." Tanya replied, still refusing to
open her eyes.
     Marty patted her shoulder sympathetically. "Hey, don't worry. I"ll do something to
catch up with you. But in the meantime, let's go find some place to eat. I'm starving."
     "Kay." Tanya said with little enthusiasm. She got up and the two started down the
stairs with Tanya still trying to use her aching eyes as little as possible.
     The duo passed the twisted, mangled form of Trudy without even a sidewards glance.
The eccentric lioness, seeing her friends were leaving her, quickly untangled herself and
skated after them.
     "Hey guys, wait up!"
     She caught up with them quickly and the three continued down the sidewalk and into
town.
     "So are you going back to class tomorrow Tanya?" Marty asked.
     "After what I did, probably not for a couple of days." Tanya replied.
     "Cool! I'll sluff with you!"
     "Well, just be grateful you don't have Cartoon Sets and Props like I do." Trudy piped
up. "That class is so boring."
     "What hour do you have it?' Marty asked.
     "Fourth."
     "Cool. I'll sluff with you."
     "Are there any classes you actually attend Marty?" Trudy wondered with a grin.
     "Just sluffing 101. Besides, you don't do squat during the first week of school anyway."
     As they continued through the town, past the buildings and stores, Tanya kept out of
the conversation as it went on. She continued to cover her eyes as much as she could and
therefore, was more sensitive to the sounds around her.
     Above the noises of her talking friends, the bustling of people and the near by traffic,
she head a song as they strolled by an appliance store. The song was light, up beat and
catchy. Tanya removed her paws from her eyes and gazed on the flashing tv screen in the
store's window.
     It was the words of the song the first caught her attention. They mentioned this new
place that she had just moved to and thus sparked her interest.
     "So here's Acme Acres, it's a whole wide world apart. Our home, sweet home, it stands
alone, a cartoon work of art. The scripts were rejected, expect the unexpected on "Tiny
Toon Adventures". It's about to start."
     Tanya watched the tv thoughtfully as the song went on to introduce the cast.
     "Hey Tanya, you coming or what?" Marty called from a distance down the sidewalk
when he realized she wasn't with them any more.
     "Yeah, I'm coming." Tanya called back and trotted up to them.
     "So what do you guys think of eating up there?" Marty asked, pointing to the local
Weenie Burger ahead of them. "I hear it's the place to be."
     "Weenie Burger?" Trudy scrutinized. "It doesn't sound too appetizing to me."
     "Eh, we'll give it a try. It's gotta be better than eating at The Worm at least." Marty
insisted. "Their gag-me food was the worst!"
     "Don't I know it!" Trudy broke in. "Brandon told me he found a rat tail in his burger. A
really hairy gross one!"
     "Well, Brandon's also full of crap too." Marty mumbled with distaste in his voice. "I'm
so glad he's not coming out here."
     "Well, actually....."
     "Don't start Trude." Marty warned as they stepped into the restaurant. "I don't even
want to hear it."
     The place was really packed with toons that day. Mostly of those who just got out of
school and were looking for some place to hang out.
     "You guys, over here." Stacy Fox called from a table next to the wall. Her brother
Russle sat across from her and both were enjoying soft drinks and french fries. "Go order
and then come sit by us."
     Marty, Tanya, and Trudy nodded and traveled over to the front counter where Mary
Melody was decked out in full Weenie Burger uniform and was taking orders.
     "Welcome to Weenie Burger," Mary repeated as if she were a recording. "What can I
get for you?"
     "Just the basics Lady." Marty grinned and leaned against the counter. "Burger, fries,
drink."
     "And you two?" Mary asked the cousins.
     "Same." Tanya and Trudy said in unison.
     "Your food will be ready in a minute. If you'll go sit down I'll bring it to you soon."
     The trio turned and started back to their friends.
     "Marty! Come sit by me!" Stacy called as she snatched the marten by the arm and
forced him into the seat before he could object. Tanya calmly took a seat next to him,
boxing him in while Trudy sat next to Russel on the opposite side across from them.
     "Gol Stace, yank my arm off why don't cha?" Marty complained and rubbed his
shoulder.
     "Well I didn't want you to get away from me cutie." Stacey purred. She leaned closer
and batted her eye lashes at him. Marty gave her a strange look and scooted closer to
Tanya.
     "So how was everyone's day?" Trudy asked.
     "Well we all know how Tanya's went!" Stacy chided.
     Tanya groaned and let her forehead drop none too gently on the table top with a loud
"thunk" and left it there in her embarrassment.
     As a conversation started up among them, Russle shifted uneasily in his seat. Every
time he looked up he saw a purple skunk sitting in a booth across the room and smiling
flirtively at him. He had seen her during school too. After he had run into her on the first
day, he just kept running into the femme skunk everywhere he went, and she was always
grinning at him like that.
     "Hey Marty," Russle whispered harshly. "Trade me places."
     "Huh? Why?" the marten wondered.
     Russle winced and slumped lower when Fifi winked at him. "Just do it, okay?"
     Marty followed Russle's uneasy gaze and leaned on Tanya to peek over the seat and
see the source of the fox's distress.
     "I see. Okay man, I'll switch with ya. But you have to hook me up with some of your
fries if I do."
     "Anything!"
     The two toons looked around to see they were both trapped in their seats by either
toons or the wall. They looked at each other and then they both slipped underneath the
table. Below in the lesser light, they met nose to nose.
     "Purple isn't a natural color for a skunk, is it?" Russle asked worriedly.
     "I don't think so." Marty said thoughtfully. "Maybe someone injected purple dye into
her egg, like they do with baby chicks on Easter."
     "Skunks don't lay eggs you idiot!" Russle berated.
     "Are you sure? I egged a car with some one time and they sure smelled like skunk."
     "Just get up there."
     The two popped back up in their opposite seats--Marty next to Trudy, and Russle now
between Stacy and Tanya. Russle relaxed visibly with the knowledge that the unnaturally
colored skunkette was at his back. But he quickly stiffened again when he saw her still
sitting in the exact position right in his sights, almost as if she were a mirror image.
     How does she do that? Russle thought. "Uh.....Marty? Could you--"
     "Fries. Right here fat boy!" Marty interrupted, demanding immediate payment for the
favor.
     "Here's your food." Mary Melody said as she come up with a large tray filled with
everyone's orders.
     "Food! At last!" Marty's mouth watered as he picked up his burger.
     "Now to see how they taste." Trudy said. The group all picked up their burgers, eager
to bite into them.
     "Ready?"

     Outside the restaurant, an old couple were making their way slowly to the entrance.
Just as they were about to open the door, a hoard of teenage toons stampeded out, almost
knocking the couple over as they raced by. The five of them pounced on the edge of a
near by dumpster and hurled their meals inside it.
     "See, I told you this was a happening place!" the old woman told her husband. "I want
whatever they had!"
     "Now Etta, remember what the doctor said." the old man warned as they went inside.
     After his stomach contents had been emptied thrice over, Marty stumbled woozily back
over to the restaurant's front doors.
     "Woa, I haven't puked like that since.....never!" He looked at building and threw his
arms sky ward proclaiming: "By this vile upchuck that was our dinner, I dub this
grotesque eating establishment as The New Worm!"
     A slightly green faced Tanya came wobblily up next to him, clutching her aching head.
"Next time let's go out for tacos."

     Buster and Babs sat in a booth at the Weenie Burger, watching through the window as
the sickly bunch of toons stumbled away.
     "Looks like those new kids just don't have the stomach for such fine foods." Buster
commented as he took a big bite of his burger.
     "Their loss." Babs agreed as she sipped her soda.
     A downhearted Fifi walked up to the two bunnies and sat dejectedly next to Babs.
     "Oye, I do not sink he likes me." the purple skunk lamented. "Why do I nevar  ave any
luck with ze boys?"
     "Aww, cheer up Feef." Babs patted her consolingly on the shoulder. "I'm sure there's
someone out there for you."
     "And tomorrow we're going to get them good."
     The three paused when they heard a part of the conversation in the booth next to
theirs. The trio poked their heads over the tall seat and peered down to spy Montana Max,
Dizzy Devil, Calamity Coyote, and Foulmouth huddled conspiritively around their table.
     "Those loosers will be running for their mommies before the day is over." Monty went
on to say.
     "Yeah!" Foulmouth heartily agreed. "We'll get those dad gum lunatics out of our dad
gum school, dad gum it!"
     Calamity nodded solemnly.
     "Me chew up loosers and spit them out!" Dizzy growled and started eating the table.
     Monty cackled to himself. He would see to it that these intruders to his school would
be out soon enough.
     Babs, Buster, and Fifi sunk back into their seat after hearing the villainistic plot.
     "Oh no, what are we going to do?" Fifi asked worriedly. "Monty is surlee going to
make life horrible for zem."
     The bunnies nodded their agreement.
     "So what are we going to do about it?" Babs wondered. "We can't just stand aside and
watch."
     "We won't Babsy." Buster assured her. "We'll just have to keep an eye out for now.
There's not much else we can do until they make their move. But one thing's for sure, we
can't let Monty get away with this."

     The next morning, Buster kept a suspicious eye about the halls as he opened his locker
to get his book for his first hour class.
     "Combat Bunny to Blue Boy. Come in Blue Boy. Over." came a strange, yet familiar
voice from inside his locker.
     Buster dug around in a stack of papers and pulled out a sputtering walkie talkie.
"Come back to me Blue Boy, this is Combat Bunny. Over."
     "Babs?" Buster asked the walkie talkie. "Is that you?"
     "Use my code name." Babs hissed back. "You never know who's listening! Over."
     "How did you get into my locker?" Buster asked again.
     "Question is irrelevant to the mission. Do you see any of the targets yet? Over."
     Buster took a quick look around the halls. "I don't see any. Where are you anyway?"
     "Right next to you. Over."
     Buster looked to the right and spotted a plant which looked suspiciously like a pink
bunny dressed in army camouflage and holding up a leafy tree branch in front of her face.
     "Babs, what are you--"
     "Sh-h-h!" Babs cut him off harshly. "You'll blow my cover."
     "Babs, get out of that ridiculous costume bef--"
     Babs cut him off a second time by putting a paw over his mouth. "Quiet! Target has
been sighted!"
     Babs pulled out a pair of binoculars and peered through the leaves of her disguise to
zero in on Marty Marten walking up the hall. Further up she saw Shirley getting into her
locker and at the end of the hall was Foulmouth walking towards them.
     Babs gasped. "We have a possible situation. I'm going in. Over." She tossed her branch
aside and started down the hall.
     "Hey Shirley." Babs greeted as she approached her friend. "How's it going?"
     "Like, really good today Babs." Shirley replied brightly. "My horoscope said, like, it
would be a perfect day er some junk. And the planets are totally aligned perfectly for
feeding maximum cosmic energy to my aura."
     "Okay......"
     "Yo Shirl girl!" Marty called as he wrapped an arm around the blonde bird's shoulder.
"What up mah friend?"
     "Like, hi Marty." Shirley smiled, seeming to be perfectly okay with the familiarness the
marten greeted her. "You've met Babs before?"
     Marty looked at the camouflage dressed rabbit. "Did someone pull a few pages off
your calendar or something? It's still a while until Halloween you know."
     Babs looked down, as if for the first time being aware of her spy gear. "Oh, whoops."
She went into a spin change and came out wearing her usual. "There, that's better."
     "Wow, do you guys ever have locker rooms in this place or can everyone do that?"
Marty quipped.
     "Hey you dad gum weasel!" Foulmouth hollered as he stormed up to them. "Get your
filthy dad gum hands off my girl!"
     "Oh no." Shirley moaned. "Like, not again."
     Marty moved away from Shirley and looked down at the smaller rooster. "Who are
calling a weasel shorty?"
     Foulmouth's face went red with anger and he let loose a legion of expletives that would
have peeled the paint off a barn door. Babs and Shirley plugged their ears in vain attempt
to shield themselves from the loud, vulgar language. Marty didn't seem too phased by the
insults, but did show some regret that the girls had to listen to it.
     "Woa little dude, hold on." Marty said, trying to get to him quiet down. "You know,
you're right." He stepped away from Shirley. "See? My fault. I'm sorry."
     "That's better." Foulmouth spat.
     Shirley gave Marty a look of apology for what he had to endure. But Marty just smiled
and winked at her.
     "Hey man, come here. I've got a joke for you." Marty crouched down next to
Foulmouth so he could whisper in his ear.
     Foulmouth listened to what was being whispered with only mild interest.  But as Marty
approached the punch line of his joke the rooster's eyes went really wide and then he
blushed profusely, his entire face painted bright crimson. Foulmouth let out a short, high
pitched squeak and then dashed away down the hall.
     Marty chuckled as he stood and watched him retreat. "Who was that guy?"
     "That's Foulmouth. He's, like, this jerk who's totally got this crush on me I just can't
get rid of!"
     "Weird how his parents knew how he was going to turn out when they named him."
Marty commented.
     "What did you say to him anyway?" Babs wondered.
     Marty patted her on the shoulder. "Trust me pinkie, you don't want to know."
     "So like, where's your sidekick today Marty?" Shirley asked.
     "Who? Tanya? I think she's down at the library or somewhere doing some kind of
research she said."
     "Well we had better get going." Shirley stated. "I, like, don't want to be late for class.
Are you planning on showing up today Marty?"
     The marten grinned wide at her. "Are you going to be there?"
     "Like, fer sure. I attend my classes regularly, unlike some toons."
     Marty chuckled and offered her his arm. "Let's go then, shall we?"
     "Like, you got it." Shirley took his arm to play along. "You coming Babs?"
     "Uh, you guys go. I'll meet you there."
     "Okay." Shirley replied and the two walked off together, talking like they had been
friends for years.
     As soon as they were gone Babs pulled our her walkie talkie. "Combat Bunny to Blue
Boy. Area secured. Repeat, situation A-OK. Over."
     "You can stop using that thing, I'm right here." Buster admonished.
     "Aww, you never let me have any fun." Babs pouted.
     The bell rang, signaling the start of school.
     "Later Babsy, I gotta go." Buster called as she headed for class.
     "Saved by the bell. Typical." Babs mumbled as she left for her own home room.

     Yosemite Sam glared at his first hour chemistry class. He had just explained the
experiment his students were expected to perform step by step and now, with two
stationed at each table, the students were ready to follow the procedures on their own.
     "Any of you got any questions?" Sam challenged, daring any of the young toons to
speak with his angary glare. The room was for the most part silent. "Okay. You varmints
can begin now."
     The students began with their experiment as previously instructed to and were soon
busy with the tools and chemistry sets supplied to them on their tables. Montana Max was
Calamity's lab partner on the table in the middle of the room. He watched with little
interest as the coyote began to professionally mix the chemicals he had. But he perked up
when he noticed little Robby Racoon sitting with Mary Melody at the table in front and to
the left of him.
     "Hey Cal, think you could whip something up for him?" Monty asked evilly as he
jerked a thumb in the unsuspecting racoon's direction.
     Calamity gazed over to where Max was pointing and a smile of villainistic glee crossed
his face. He held up a sign that read "No problem". Thus, the grey coyote began with
another beaker and started pouring different chemicals inside it with practiced preciseness.
     Behind them, Fifi tapped Buster, her lab partner, on the shoulder.
     "Bustar, I sink zey are up to somesing." Fifi told him.
     Buster looked up from his work and spied Montana Max and Calamity huddled and
chuckling over their experiments.
     "What are they up to?" he wondered.
     Calamity had almost finished with his chore. Only one more chemical was needed to
complete the mixture. He handed the beaker to Monty to keep it steady while he poured
the last ingredient in. Only one drop was needed, not a fraction more. He slowly, carefully
tipped the vile......
     "Um, excuse me?"
     Calamity looked up when he felt a tap on his shoulder and froze when he saw a rather
attractive foxette standing before him.
     "I'm sorry to bother you," Stacy smiled sweetly. "But I'm afraid I don't understand this
very well." She touched his shoulder lightly. "Could you give me a hand with this please?"
     She batted her eyes innocently at him. Calamity's mouth fell open and an involuntary
shiver went thought him at her touch. Monty, who was staring intently at the beaker,
looked up when Calamity froze. But then the coyote poured the entire contents of the vile
in his absentmindedness, causing the mixture to combust in Monty's face and charring it a
smokey black. Monty coughed and glared while Calamity eagerly held up a sign to Stacy
reading "Sure!"
     Stacy laughed and took his arm. "Ah, the strong, silent type I see. I like that."
     Monty grumbled angrily as he went to go wash up. From their place where they had
seen it all, Buster and Fifi looked at each other and shrugged before going back to work.

     The lunch bell rang as it did everyday at that time. Toons of all shapes and sizes once
again filed into the cafeteria. Russle Fox stood in front of the pop machine in the corner,
staring at it indecisively.
     "Twenty-four hours Russle." Trudy sang as she rolled up and skated in a circle around
him.
     Russle smiled at her and shook his head. "We really need to get you a hobby Trude."
he said as he pushed a button on the machine and his beverage of choice fell out.
     "But I've got to beat last year's record." Trudy insisted. "Marty doesn't think I can do it
and I just can't wait until I can prove him wrong."
     Russle took a casual drink of his soda. "Yeah, well out doing the village idiot isn't
exactly an achievement worth bragging about."
     "Come on Russ, he's not that bad."
     "Give me a break Trudy. The guy is a moron! I bet he doesn't even know what day it
is."
     "Oh yeah, we'll just see about that."
     The two approached the aforementioned marten who was moodily engrossed in
consuming a messy tray of nachos.
     "Hey Mar---"
     "Do I look like a weasel to you?" Marty quickly interrupted Trudy's question with one
of his own. "I mean, it's obvious I'm a marten, right?"
     "Yeah, but I just want to--"
     "There's a big difference between martens and weasels. Any idiot could tell them apart.
Look at these markings! It's perfectly clear I'm no weasel."
     "Yeah, okay. Whatever." Trudy said quickly as not to be interrupted again. "Do you
know what day it is Marty?"
     Marty paused from his complaints and looked at her. "What? Don't you know?"
     "I just wanted to make sure. What day is it?"
     "Go look on a calendar then. If you don't know I'm not going to tell you."
     Trudy turned from him, a bit exasperated.
     "See?" Russle grinned. "I told you."
     "That doesn't mean anything." Trudy argued. "Just because he's being a jerk doesn't
mean he didn't know."
     Russle rolled his eyes. "Oh good grief."

     Across the room , none other than Montana Max had the lion and fox right in his
sights.
     "Hey Dizzy," he whispered and grabbed the purple creatures shoulders. "There's some
loosers over there. Go get them!"
     Dizzy narrowed his eyes when he saw the duo Monty had pointed out. "Me get." he
vowed.

     Babs and Buster were walking over to their usual lunch table when the latter noticed
the two conspirators.
     "Uh oh Babsy. I see trouble." Buster said, tapping her on the shoulder. "Look." He
pointed to where Dizzy was spinning towards the unsuspecting toons.
     "Don't worry, I've got an idea." Babs assured him. She pulled a rope out of her
bottomless pocket, something which all toons had the luxury of having. "Here, hold this
end." She handed it to Buster and then walked across to the other row of tables and
crouched down.
     When Dizzy raced by, the bunnies pulled the rope tight and he spun right into it. The
bunnies let go of the rope and the Tasmanian Devil continued to twirl until he was
completely wound up in it. Dizzy fell to the floor tightly bound right at Trudy and Russle's
feet.
     The two stopped talking and looked down at the tied up toon.
     "Oh my gosh! Are you alright?" Trudy asked with concern. She knelt down and began
to untie him.
     Dizzy stared blankly at the unexpected act of kindness. "Uh, me okay."
     "Good, I'm glad." Trudy smiled. She stood and then pulled him to his feet. "Hey, that
spinning thing you do looks like fun. Could you teach me how to sometime?"
     Dizzy thought about it for a minute. "Mmm..okay!" He slapped her hard on the back,
hard enough, that with her skates on, caused Trudy to start spinning. Fast. So fast that she
was nothing but a blur as she raced like a spinning top right out of the cafeteria.
     "Hey! Wait for me!" Dizzy called as he spun after her.

     Babs walked up to Buster and saluted solemnly. "Situation under control sir."
     "At ease cadet." Buster replied as he and Babs sat down at their lunch table. Plucky,
Fifi and Hamton were already there.
     Buster pulled out a carrot sandwhich and was ready to enjoy it in peace when he heard
a piercing squeal that made him freeze in mid bite.
     "Ewe! There's that Mr. Fluffy Head!"
     "Eep! Hide me!" Buster panicked as he ducked under the table.
     Babs peered down at him. "Relax blue ears. She's not after you."
     "Huh?" The blue rabbit looked up curiously to see what had happened.
     "I've been looking for you everywhere!" Elmyra cried as she savagely snagged up
Marty in her arms, spilling the surprised marten's lunch on the table in the process.
     "Hey! My nachos!" Marty screeched angrily. "What's the matter with you lady? Go do
your python impression on someone else!"
     He picked up the remanents of the soggy chips and cheese and splashed the gooey
mixture in her face. Elmyra dropped her prey in surprise.
     "Hey, where'd you go my snuggly wuggly?" she sputtered, wiping cheese out of her
eyes.
     "Somewhere you're not!" Marty retorted and dashed out of the cafeteria.
     "Wait for me furry, fuzzy head! I love you!" Elmyra exclaimed as she chased after him
again.
     "Well," Babs commented. "They weren't kidding when they said there'd be changes
around here.
     "Hey don't knock it Babs." Buster said as he climbed back onto his seat. "That's the
first break I've had all week. Hmm...maybe bringing those new students here wasn't such a
bad idea after all."
     The friends started eating and for a while, were able to enjoy their meals in peace.
After a few minutes had past, a girl fox in a purple dress came up to them and sat at the
table across from Fifi.
     "Hi." she smiles cheerfully. "You're Fifi, right?"
     "Uh......we." Fifi replied, unsure of what the foxette wanted from her. 
     "Hi, I'm Stacy. I hear you've got a thing for my brother Russle."
     Fifi blushed a bit. "I do admit I sink he is kind of cute." she said in a soft voice.
     Stacy smiled at her. "Would you like to come sit by us?"
     "Oh yes!" Fifi said happily, but then she frowned. "Oh, but I do not sink your brother
likes moi." She paused and eyed the fox skeptically. "Why are you doing zis anyway?"
     "Oh come on," Stacy said. "You've seen him. The kid needs a girlfriend. Besides, I like
you. And I bet he would like you too if you wouldn't come onto him so fast. Here, let me
give you a few pointers." She pulled the skunk close and whispered in her ear.

     The lunch table across the room was practically empty save for Russle sitting across
from Robby and next to Marty's abandoned nacho mess.
     "Hey guys," Stacy called as she came up to them with a certain purple skunk in tow.
"This is my friend Fifi. She's going to eat with us today."
     Russle recognized her instantly and slumped in his chair while glaring coldly at his
twin. Stacy just smiled sweetly back at him.
     "Hello." Robby greeted politely. "I'm Robby."
     " Ello." Fifi replied and took a seat next to the racoon and pretended not to notice the
glaring fox across the way.
     Stacy sat next to her brother who continued to squirm in his seat.
     "So how does vous like ze school so far?" Fifi asked as she thoughtfully unpacked her
lunch.
     "It's okay." Robby replied. "The classes here are kind of weird though. But most of the
people here I've met are nice."
     Fifi smiled at him and politely chewed on her sandwich, pretending that Russle held no
interest to her now.
     By then, Russle had stopped squirming and seemed almost impressed with the
skunkette's subtle politeness. Stacy still smiled expectantly at him to which Russle
shrugged and held out his paw.
     "Hi, I'm Russle."
     Fifi paused for a moment. She smiled, reached out slowly and shook it.


     The bell once again rang to signal the end of another day. Toons r ushed outside with
the same eagerness they always had when the bell rang at 3:00. The halls were soon left
bare and quiet. But down the far hall, there was activity in the semi dark room behind the
door reading "Film Vaults".
     "I mean, have you seen this weirdo in action?" Marty complained. "There's got to be
something in the constitution against squeezing people to death."
     Tanya looked up from where she was shifting through a pile of film cases. "Seriously
Marty, I think you exaggerate a little too much." 
     "Exaggerate?! Easy for you to say! You don't have some raging psycho stalking you
everywhere. She caught me right during lunch. Again! I didn't even see it coming. She
picked me right off the ground, was calling me all types of weird names, and even made
me spill my nachos." Marty's voice cracked ruefully as he said the last part of the sentence
and he sniffed sadly as though someone had just shot his dog.
     "Yeah, yeah." Tanya mumbled, uninterested as she picked up a film case and started up
the stairs to where the projector was. Marty followed at her heels, yakking and whining all
the way as she threaded the film on the projector.
     "I swear she looks for me after every single class. Doesn't she have anything better to
do? I know I'm irresistible but please, do we always have to touch everything we see?!"
     Tanya sighed heavily with boredom as she started the movie and walked back down the
stairs and into the viewing room with Marty still talking up a storm behind her.
     "I think someone dropped her on her head when she was a baby. Repeatedly. There's
no other explanation for it. Unless her parent liked to sit her in front of the car's exhaust
pipe when she was a kid. That crazy chick is just too weird to---Hey, what are we
watching anyway?" Marty suddenly asked, having just noticed the large blinking screen in
front of him.
     Tanya sat down in one of the theater seats and looked up at the screen. "I'm not sure."
she admitted.
     Marty took a seat next to her as the show started and the music began......
     "We're tiny, we're toony. We're all a little loony. And in this cartoony we're in invading
your tv. We're comic dispensers, we crack up all the censors. On "Tiny Toon Adventures",
but a dose of comedy."

The End