CATch that Bird!
					By,
				Leloni Bunny (lbunny@wingsisp.com)

Forward:
	Back in 1992 or 93, (It was awhile ago, so I don't remember exactly.) I spent 
a summer writing up a script for a TTA cartoon.  Unfortunately, about a week 
later, I saw a new (well, new to me) episode that had the basic same idea as 
my script.  Naturally, I was a bit upset.  Yet, I figured since an ep like that 
already existed, I should just shelf my script away.
	Now, a few years later, I'm bringing the script back out of mothballs for 
all you happy toonatics to read.  You'll find out which episode this is like as 
you read the story.  Only a few changes have been made to the script.  I've 
changed it into a story format because I find scripts a pain to read.  Secondly, 
I've updated a few of the gags to make the story better.
	So, sit back, relax and enjoy what was my very first attempt at a TTA cartoon!

	Life was going on as usual in the city of Acme Acres.  Traffic was crowded.  
Birds chirped.  And, the usual chase sequences raced through the alleyways.  As a 
lazy, tossed away newspaper drifted along a street corner, it suddenly found itself 
smacked into a pink canary's face.
	The canary, Sweetie Bird, tore the newspaper off of her face and fluttered 
around the street corner as fast as her wings would go.  Not far behind her came 
Furrball Cat.  And, he was looking quite hungry.
	Sweetie fluttered this way and that, trying to dodge the blue cat that was 
closing in on her fast.
	"Gotta hide!  Gotta hide!" she panted as she tried to outfly the alley cat.  
She spotted an old oak tree and flew over to it quickly.  There was an opening in 
the trunk and she hoped Furrball wouldn't think to look in there.
	Furrball watched her fly into the tree and thought for sure he would *finally* 
have his canary sandwich he'd always wanted. 
	He came to a halt behind a nearby gate.  Slowly, he slinked his way over to 
the tree and peered into the hole.  His head was immediately backed out as a monstrous 
wolverine head shot up into his face, growling viciously.  The poor cat screeched in 
terror and took off in a blue streak of lightning.  
	The wolverine head chuckled as two small pink wings lifted the mask and tossed 
it away revealing Sweetie underneath.  She smugly flew away before Furrball could 
realize what had happened.
	She soon stopped to rest in front of an electronics store.  'I've *got* to find 
a way to get that cat to stop chasing me.' She thought to herself as she panted.
	Behind her a voice spoke, "Fwiends, are you having twouble with someone 
pestewing you?  Are you sick and tiwed of it?"  Sweetie nodded and turned around,
looking up.  The Tvs in the electronics store were on and Elmer Fudd was talking in
them.  "Well then, you need to get my new book, 'How to Hypnotize Evewything'"
Here, he led up an ordinary looking red book,  "This book has been time tested and
approwved by me, Ewlmer Fudd.  It's gauwanteed to work on dogs, cats, humans,
biwds, Tazmanian Devils and especiawy wabbits!  So, don't deway!  Get my new book today."
	As the screen went blank, Sweetie chuckled to herself, "Hmm, with that book, I 
could be rid of Furrball for good!"
	"With that book, I could be rid of those dumb bunnies for good!"
	Startled, Sweetie looked up at Plucky Duck, who was standing beside her.  He'd 
obviously seen the ad too and was making his own devious plans.  "Hmmm, better yet, I 
could make Buster and Babs *my* sidekicks.  Wait my SLAVES!  That's even better!"  
The duck turned quickly, nearly knocking Sweetie out of the way as he did.  "Watch out 
you dumb bunnies, Plucky Duck is out to get you!" 
	With that, he took off for the nearest bookstore.  Sweetie followed at a bit of a 
distance.  She didn't intend to be in his way again.
	Meanwhile, Furrball was still hungry and still looking for Sweetie.  The hungry 
cat looked everywhere he could think of for that pesky bird.  He checked the trees, the 
bushes, the mailboxes and even the trashcans.  As he lifted a trashcan lid to peer inside 
it, he heard a yell.
	"Here kitty, kitty, kitty!  NICE TASTY BIRDIE OVER HERE!!!!"
	As he looked up, a banana peel came flying into his face.  Now extremely angry, 
the cat swiped the peel from his face and took off in the direction that the peel had 
come from, dropping the trashcan lid as he did.  The lid bounced on the can's rim for a 
few seconds and fell off of it, making a loud *CLANG* as it hit the cement.
	Sweetie leaned against a telephone pole, awaiting Furrball's arrival.  She seemed 
unconcerned as his shadow loomed over her.  Her expression still didn't change as he 
grabbed a hold of her, lifting her toward his saliva dripping sharp teeth.  As he brought 
her to eye level, she still gave him only that unconcerned glance.
	Suddenly, her expression changed.  Her eyes narrowed and her beak formed a devilish sneer.  With an ice cold glare, she began to hypnotize the feline.  At her first
attempt, he seemed dazed for a second.  Then he shook it off, returning to his previous
intentions of swallowing her.
	Sweetie tried again, this time giving him a stronger stare.  The cat couldn't fight 
it this time as his conscious thought drifted away.  His expression became blank, almost 
zombie looking.  He opened his paw and was in Sweetie's trance.
	"Well, what do ya know! It really works," exclaimed the canary with an amused, 
yet grateful, grin.  "Now what do I do with him?"
	She looked around for a few seconds, trying to think of something that would
keep Furrball away from her.  She soon found it.
	In the distance, an echoing 'Beep, Beep!' caught her attention.  The little red road 
runner known simply as Little Beeper sped past her and the cat.  With a quick 'Beep, 
Beep!' he was nothing but a streaking dust cloud, tearing up the road as if it were his
personal playground.  
	Sweetie thought for a moment, then rubbed her wings together.  "Perfect!" she 
said, "If he wants to chase a bird, I'll give him one."  She gave Furrball another dose of
her hypnotic stare.
	The cat shook his head as he awoke and stared, blankly, at Sweetie sitting in his 
open paw.  He quickly regained his senses and stuffed her in his mouth before she could 
pull something else on him.  
	"HOLD IT!" she yelled out, "I'm not on your menu!!!!!"
	Furrball suddenly began to feel as if he'd just taken a bite of something *very* 
sour.  His entire body shook with the sensation. When he could no longer stand it, he 
coughed, sputtered and spat out the canary.  Quickly, he gargled, spat and applied a 
minty smelling spray to get rid of the awful taste.
	As he did, Little Beeper raced past the duo again, this time attracting Furrball's 
attention.
	"Doesn't he look much yummier then poor defenseless helpless little me?" 
Sweetie asked the cat.  
	"Uh-huh," he mewed, nodding as he watched Little Beeper race off.  
	"Doesn't he seem like a much bigger tastier meal then me?" the canary asked him 
in a sweet voice.  
	He nodded again, beginning to look hungry.  
	"Don't you just want to gobble HIM up?" Sweetie asked.  
	Again, Furrball nodded, his tongue rolling out onto the ground.  The irises in 
his eyes changed to little roast road runners as he saw Beeper racing over the horizon.  
The cat began to drool ravenously, licking his lips in hunger. 
	Sweetie pulled out a checkered flag.  "On your mark," she called.  Furrball got 
down on all four paws, laying low on his front ones.
	"Get set," she raised the flag over her head.  Furrball raised his hind quarters.  
With a determined grin, he growled to himself as if in planning his meal.
	"GO GET HIM!!" roared the canary, dropping the flag smack on Furrball's head.
He quickly shook it off and sped off, leaving a small streak of fire behind him.
As Furrball disappeared over the hill, Sweetie giggled to herself.
	"Ah!  Peace and quiet at last," she said to no one in particular.
	
	Amazingly enough, Furrball soon gained on the sneaker wearing road runner.  He 
growled as he leaped into the air, hoping to pounce upon the bird.  Little Beeper 
heard the growl and looked behind him.  To his surprise, he was about to be pounced 
by a CAT of all things!
	The road runner increased his speed, narrowly avoiding Furrball's claws.
	Furrball landed, face flat, on the cement and slid a few feet.  The cat sat 
back up, looking a bit defeated.  He spat out a small mound of dirt.  
	Over by a bench, Little Beeper was laughing at the unfortunate cat.  With a 
determined glare, Furrball was up and racing after the bird again.  As he closed in 
on Little Beeper, the road runner side stepped him.  Furrball ended up running into 
the bench, his stomach receiving the brunt of his mistake.
	"Beep! Beep!" quipped Little Beeper before speeding off again.
	The cat took a deep breath, popping himself back into shape.  He took off at 
top speed.
	Seeing that he had company again, Little Beeper went on a mad dash, racing 
this way and that.  The duo sped through parks, buildings, streets, highways, up over 
traffic and even straight through an expensive painting that was being moved into an 
apartment building, much to the displeasure of the new tenant.  In a last ditch effort 
to lose the cat, Little Beeper sped right up the side of a building.
	Furrball saw it coming and hit the brakes.  His whole body turned around and his 
backside hit the building.  The poor cat just sat there, his tongue laying on the ground 
as he panted.
	Beeper's mocking "Beep! Beep!" caught Furrball's attention.  The cat looked upwards to see Beeper's head looking over the ledge at the top of the building.
	With a heavy sigh, Furrball dropped his head back on the cement.  He slowly got 
up and glanced up the wall.  Putting his claws out, he began to slowly and steadily climb 
up the side of the building.  As he reached a window ledge about halfway up, he lost his 
footing.  With a loud "RRRAAAAAAWWW!" he fell off the ledge.  Fortunately, the 
window was open.  Furrball's tail quickly swung around and latched onto a curtain just 
inside the window.  The cat wiped his brow in relief.
	"John, close the window.  It's getting cold in here," said a woman's voice.
	"Yes, dear," grumbled a man's voice.  Two hands reached up and shut the window 
directly on Furrball's tail.
	He yelped in pain and hurriedly pulled himself back up on the ledge.  Quickly 
yanking his tail out from under the window, he started climbing up the building again.
	After what seemed like an eternity, the cat _finally_ hoisted himself over the top 
of the building.  He glanced back down, panting all the while.
	Little Beeper was waiting right behind him.  A loud "Beep! Beep!" caused the cat 
to leap into the air.  His toes managed to grab the ledge and left him tetering on it.  
The road runner blew a puff of air in Furrball's direction.  That was all it took for 
the poor cat to lose his balance and fall.
	His pitiful screech was quieted by a resounding *SPLAT* as he hit the pavement.
	The cat's next trick was to use a balloon.  He pulled and stretched it until it 
snapped back into his nose.  Giving his nose a quick rub, he began to blow up the 
balloon.  As he did, the balloon began to rise, taking him along with it.
	Soon he reached the top of the building again.  Beeper was waiting there with a 
sharp looking pin in his wing.  Seeing this, the cat scrambled up faster.  He latched 
his arm around the road runner's throat before he could use the pin.
	Furrball grinned smugly, thinking that he was finally going to get his meal.  
	Little Beeper wasn't out of tricks yet though!  He reached his beak up and pecked 
at the balloon.  Furrball lost his grip on Beeper as he tried to stop the road runner 
from popping the balloon.  He was too late.  With a hole now in it, the balloon began 
to lose air quickly.  The balloon dragged poor Furrball all over the sky as the air rushed 
out of it.
	When the last of the air was gone from the balloon, Furrball breathed a sigh of 
relief, only to be scared again when he realized that he was still in mid air!  The cat 
prayed for a miracle as he began to fall.
	He oofed as he hit something.  Opening his eyes, he found himself on the back of 
Concord Condor.
	"Hiya, Sport.  That'll be twenty bucks for the miracle," the condore told him.  
Furrball was less then happy but paid.
	The cat decided that maybe some more advanced methods would be needed here.  
He found a payphone amd made a call.
	As he opened the booth door, a delivery truck stopped in front of him and sped 
off.  Only two blue feet could be seen since a large package had been dumped on the cat.  
The feet slowly inched their way off behind the apartment building. 
	Boxes, papers and wrappings were strewn everywhere as Furrball put his purchase 
together.  He quickly pounded, sawed and nailed a ramp into place.
	Next, he secured a rope around his waist, tying himself to a rocket that matched 
him in body size.  He added the last part of his getup, a pair of skates and the safety 
equipment that came with them.  
	Furrball made sure that the skates were fastened tightly.  He needed them to make 
sure he got the amount of speed he needed to get off the ground.  
	He struck a match and prepared to light the rocket.
	Suddenly, Plucky Duck walked in front of him.  The duck was carrying an armful 
of books.  His expression was only a blank stare.
	"Must serve bunnies.  Must serve bunnies," was all he kept repeating as he 
walked.
	Buster and Babs Bunny were walking a few feet behind him.  Babs said, "Gee, it 
sure is nice having Plucky around."  As an aside, she added, "I can't believe I'm actually 
saying that."
	"Yeah," agreed Buster, "But, this book does help a little."  He held up a simple 
red book, 'How to Hypnotize Everything'.
	With a puzzled look, Furrball watched them walk off.  He shrugged and light the 
rocket.
	The fuse burned up to the rocket and started it afire.  Furrball was flown up the 
ramp and into the sky.  As he flew up over the building, he reached out to grab Little 
Beeper.  The smart bird ducked missing Furrball's grasp by inches.
	The cat tried again.  This time, as he reached the ledge, he sliced the rope with 
his claws.  He landed on the ledge and rolled towards Little Beeper.  The road runner 
jumped over Furrball as if he were playing leap frog with the cat.
	Stunned, Furrball couldn't believe he'd missed.  He was unable to stop though.  
And, things were about to get worse.  He was heading straight towards an open door 
leading to the staircase!  Frantically, the cat tired to take off the skates.  They wouldn't 
budge.  He covered his eyes as he flew through the door and zoomed right off the first 
step.  He slammed into the opposite wall and slid down it.  He came to a stop as he 
reached the edge of the landing.  Not realizing how close to the ledge he was, as his front 
side was facing the wall, Furrball sat up.  Big mistake, he fell backwards and tumbled 
right on down every flight of stairs in that building.  Hitting the exit door was the only 
way he could stop.  He meowed in pain as his form was imbedded into the door.
	Now, very determained to catch that bird, Furrball turned around and ran back up 
the stairs.  He was coming up so fast that he didn't see Little Beeper standing at the top of 
theflight of stairs.  As the cat approached, the road runner quickly slammed the door in the cat's face.
	Unfortunately, he didn't get the results he'd expected.  Furrball tore right through 
the door!  The cat turned around to face Little Beeper.  His expression looked more then 
slightly unhappy.
	With a sheepish grin, Little Beeper took off back down the stairs and out of the 
building.  Furrball followed close behind. 
	The two, once again, raced through side streets, parks and traffic lights. They 
even went through a pizza parlor where the duo made a quick stop to grab a soda.
	Little Beeper raced into an alley, nearly hitting the wall.  He was now trapped!  
There was no place to hide and the wall had some sharp spike on top of it to stop any 
would be climbers.  He turned around, hoping that he might have time to get out of there.
	No such luck, there stood Furrball blocking the alley and the cat was just about at 
the end of his sanity.  His ravenous, drooling open mouth made it quite clear that he was 
through playing around.  Even his cold, hunger stricken eyes were without compassion.
	The cat started to close in on Beeper.  With each step, his shadow grew larger, 
trapping the road runner in it's darkness.  For the first time in his life, Little Beeper 
was scared.  He had nowhere to run and no way to fight.  He cowered in a corner, 
shivering over his certain doom.
	Now almost directly over the road runner, Furrball reached down to thrust him 
into the cat's starving mouth.  A sudden tap on his shoulder stopped him.
	Angry about delaying his meal, Furrball spun around to give the interrupter a 
piece of his mind.  His angry look soon changed to surprise and fear as he found himself 
eye to eye with Calamity Coyote.  The coyote was not in a very happy mood.
	Calamity's already narrowed eyes narrowed even more.  His frowning face 
becoming a fiercesome sneer.  The light that was cast on the coyote's face twisted it into 
a hellish glare that gave even Furrball's bones the chills.
	With a small gulp, the cat turned back to Little Beeper.  He patted the road 
runner's head, stood him up and shooed him away.  Beeper gladly sped off without a 
second glance.
	Casting a hopeful grin in Calamity's direction, Furrball stepped to the side and 
edged his way around the coyote.  Calamity's glare followed him all the while.  Once 
around him, Furrball back his way out of the alley.  Calamity stepped forward for every 
time the cat stepped back.  The coyote made a motion as if he were rolling up his sleeve.  
Furrball's slow moving steps suddenly become a life or death run as he turned around and 
ran off.  Calamity still followed in hot pursuit.
	After spending most of his life chasing after a road runner, Calamity had no 
trouble at all catching up to Furrball.  He leaped at the cat, grabbing onto his easily.  The 
two disappeared in a dust cloud where pounding and yelps of pain from both sides could 
be heard.
	As the fight raged on, the dust cloud moved about the street and on up the hill.  
It fell over the other side and vanished as Calamity and Furrball lost their balance.  
The two spiraled down the hill.  They tumbled down past a traffic cop and right on into 
a telephone pole, busting it in half.
	Glancing at the blue and gray whirl that tumbled past him, the cop shrugged, "Eh, 
and to think I retired from car chases so I could avoid the wierdos."
	The cat and coyote shook their heads to escape the stars circling around them.  
They glanced at each other.  Calamity held up a sign, 'Next time, chase your own prey 
and leave mine alone!'  He whacked Furrball with the sign and stalked off, leaving the cat 
dazed again.
	As Furrball regained his senses, again, he thought back to earlier.  Realizing what 
Sweetie had done to him, his face curled into an angry pout.  
	The cat got up and marched himself off in search of her.  His slow march quickly 
picked up speed, soon leaving him looking like a speeding bullet.

	Back in her nest, Sweetie was enjoying the peace and relaxation of not having to 
outrun a hungry kitty all the time.  She stretched and sipped her lemonade happily.
	'Now _this_ I could get used to!' she thought.  A spatchula swatting her like a 
fly soon changed her mind.  Her flattened body popped back into shape.  She glanced up 
and was surprised to see Furrball standing on the branch.
	With a look of fright, the canary quickly searched for her hypnotism book.  She 
threw out rackets, jars, cans, a rotting piece of pizza and even a kitchen sink looking 
for the book.  As she found it, a blue paw surrounded her and lifted her up off the ground.  
She opened it and read as fast as she could.  
	A grinning set of teeth greeted her as she finished reading and looked up.  She 
went into her icey, sneering stare, trying to hypnotize Furrball again.  She lost her 
concentration when she found out she was staring straight at a mirror!
	The canary was now in a trance of her own and at Furrball's mercy.  She dropped 
the book as her conscious thought drifted.  Furrball caught it and did some of his own 
reading.
	Glancing around, the cat saw a perfect target --a human child who was walking 
past the tree.  He cast his own hypnotic glance on Sweetie and set her off after the child.
	Sweetie fluttered down into the child's face.  The child blinked as she saw 
Sweetie come to her willingly.  The canary licked her lips hungrily.
	"Whee!  A pretty canary-wary head wants to be my pet!" cried the red headed 
child excitedly.  She grabbed a hold of Sweetie and hugged her, way too tightly.  "I'll take 
you home and feed you, and pet you and love you to itty bitty teensy weensy baby bits 
Miss Canary-head!"   
	Quickly realizing her bad choice of diet, Sweetie choked and sputtered in agony 
as she was dragged off to Elmyra's pit of torture.
	Furrball watched them go with a joyous grin.  Planting himself in a lounge chair, 
he sipped on his own soda and enjoyed the fact that for once, he was getting the better 
end of the deal.

All Tiny Toon Adventures and Looney Tunes characters (C) Warner Brothers.  
Characters used without permission but with lots of love.
A quick thank you goes to Calamity Coyote for spell checking.  Thanks, 'Yote!