THE UNDISCOVERED CAMPUS

By Zachary A. Zulkowski (zzul518@village.ios.com)

   The newspaper headlines were practically screaming off the pages, all
over Acme Acres, (and the rest of Los Angeles County), was the news:
PERFECTO PREP BURNED DOWN, ARSON SUSPECTED.  This same
headline Buster Bunny was reading, (basically because he couldn't hear the
headlines screaming), through the glass of a newspaper vending machine
located in front of the administration building of Acme Loo.

   "Tsk Tsk Tsk"  Buster indicated, clicking his tongue.

   "What a terrible shame!"  Babs added, (not too convincingly), while
reading over Buster's shoulder.  "A perfectly good fire wasted on a school
like Perfecto.".

   "Yeah...terrible."  Buster replied, picking up on her mock sorrow.

   By just then Shirley the Loon walked buy and noticed their reactions.

   "You two should be, like totally, ashamed..."

   "Oh, the fire didn't burn the WHOLE campus down!"  Buster replied.

   "Unfortunately..."  Babs added, (which was met with a quick jab in the
stomach by Buster's elbow.).

   "That fire, like, totaled half of Perfecto's administration
building."  Shirley said.

   "Nobody was hurt!"  Babs retorted.  "There was only one case of smoke
inhalation; and Ruby's doing fine!"

   "We're were just having a little laugh...heh..heh!"  Buster explained,
that last part coming out just a little weakly, (considering the loon's
biting stare).

   "The meeting's starting..."  Babs commented, breaking an awkward
silence.

   The meeting was being held in auditorium that was adjacent to the Admin.
building.  The three of them found their way inside and found seats next
to Hamton, Fifi, and Plucky.   The clique was complete, and all seemed
right with with the world.

   Until...

   "Ladies and Gentlemen!"  Bugs Bunny said, banging a "gavel", (actually
a large carrot), on a podium the center of the stage.

   "Ladies and Gentlemen, can we have some order!  Let's have order in
this here meeting!"

   "I'll have a large carrot juice and salad to go!"  Boomed a familiar
young buck wearing a red shirt.

   crickets...
   
   This time Babs stood up, placed one of her soft, feminine hands on
his shoulder...and slammed him back into his seat.

   "Ah heh heh!"  He said, smiling weakly.

   "Now, as I was saying, ladies and germs...."  Bugs said.

   This time the audience howled with laughter.

   Bugs waited for a few minutes for the laughter to die down, then
continued:

   "As you know, early yesterday morning; a fire broke out on the campus
of Perfecto Prepratory School; destroying a large portion of that campus's
administration building, gutting three science labs, and a large percentage
of the dormatory area before it was contained.  One injury was reported,
a Ms. Rhubella Rat, who suffered smoke inhalation; and was released
shortly afterward.  The fire was the result of a accident, and no arson is 
involved."

   "However, I have received a notice from the California Board of
Education: due to the fact that because of certain...excesses, over the
history of Perfecto Prep, the school has no money to completely rebuild,
the Board has to choice but too...ahem...incorporate the Perfect Campus
into the Acme Looniverity campus; putting an end to almost seventy years
of hostility."

   This announcement cased quite a few murmurs in the crowd, including
some in particular:

   "I...don't believe it...."

   "Like...totally..."

   "Oh merde..."

   It took a little time for the audience to file out, and the gang waited
behind, (to ditch a little more class time), Buster saw Bugs motioning him
over with a finger.

   "We'll see you later."  Babs whispered, "...if there is one."  She then
directed the other four out the door.

   *Uh oh!*  Buster thought, *I'm in for it!*  He then folded his ears
back to tried on his best "whipped puppy" expression.  He then walked over
to where Bugs was standing at the podium.

   "Knock it off!"  Bugs remarked, "I've seen that in too many episodes!"

   "Well...what's up, Doc-Uncle?  

   "Well...nephew..."  Bugs said, suprising Buster as it was probably the
first time in Warner history that Bugs ever called him that.  "You seem to
have a lot in influence in what the students do around here."

   "Well I..."

   "You are what they call, a trend setter, a leader, a role-model,
everybody respects you, everybody loves you."

   "Why thank y-"

   "Shut up!"

   Bugs waited a few beats, he smiled, then placed a hand
affectionately on Buster's shoulder.

   "Anyway, I need a favor from yoose; eventually Perfecto students
will be attending classes here; they will meet with some hostikity, some
derision.  I want you to set an example for the students here; I want you
to be friends with them.  In short, I want you...to be our olive branch."

   "Why me?"  Buster was taken completely aback at this.  "I've...done my
bit...for...studio and country!"

   "Plucky does it better"  Bugs whispered, getting a shrug from Buster.

   "There is an old saying,"  Bugs continued, "only Nixon can go to
China."  

* * * 

   Some time later...

   It was night in Acme Acres, the stores were closing, and in a couple of
more hours, workmen will arrive to roll back the sidewalks.

   "I can't believe we're doing this!"  Pluck muttered, as him and the gang
were walking down the sidewalk, towards the local "Pizza Cave".  Since
this was an important dinner, they were all looking their best: the males
in shirts and jackets, the females in suits or dresses.  Even Fifi, whose
fur was usually to heavy to necessitate the need for clothing, was
wearing a green blouse and skirt.

   "I can't believe we're doing this either."  Buster replied, "but Uncle
Bugs wanted us to treat them to dinner...so we are!"

   "Least he gave us some money." 

   "A whole C note."  Buster said, opening up his wallet, (and sure
enough, a middle C note sounded).

   "More cheap gags like that, and this story isn't going to be taken
seriously."  Plucky muttered, offhandedly.
 
   Buster then couldn't help noticing the girl's constant chattering,
which was going on since this scene started. 

   "Oh, it's just girl-talk."  Babs remarked, sensing
his interest and trying to subdue a giggle..

   "They were discussing the merits of various Perfecto males."
Hamton commented, he was walking behind them and, to his embarrassment,
heard every word.

   "Babs!"

   "We ARE supposed to be friendly to them!"

   "Yeah, but not date them!"  Buster replied, at which point the girls
started giggling.

   "Speak of the devil..."  Plucky said, indicating up ahead, to the group
of...former Perfecto students at the entrance to the restaurant.  The group
consisted of Roddy and Rhubella Rat, Margot Mallard, Danford Duck and
Manny Mole, and like the Acmes, were dressed in simular attire.

   "I didn't think you Acme....students, were going to show!"  Roddy said,
wincing slightly from a nudge from Ruby's elbow.

   "Now are we the type who would to that to our new friends?"  Buster
replied, through a somewhat forced smile, this was rewarded with a slight
nudge from Babs.

   "Gee, are we that late?"  Hamton asked.

   "No..." Ruby said, her voice being a little horse from the accident,
"We were early!"  She then gave Roddy a slightly angered glance.

   The group then entered the restaurant.  Since the place was called the
"Pizza Cave" it was, of course, done in tacky Flintstone era style:
complete with fake rock walls and caveman costumes for the waitresses.

   "Ever since Warner took over Hanna-Barbarra..."  Buster offered, as an
aside to Plucky.

   "Tell me this place isn't franchised."  Plucky returned.
 
   After a few minutes, a waitress led them a line of several small tables
placed end to end.  There was a few seconds of hesitation and whispering; 
then both "gangs"...er "contingents" took their seats, with Acme on one
side and Perfecto on the other, (with Buster and Roddy at opposite ends),
causing both Ruby and Babs to roll their eyes upward: both having
visions of a white line drawn down the middle of the table. 

   After another few minutes of silent diplomatic posturing, the waitress
came around and they ordered three large "Kitchen sink" specials, enough
bread sticks to shingle a small house, and enough cola to house a swim
match.
 
* * * 

   Meanwhile....

   A limo enters the Perfecto campus, parks in front of what's left of the
Administration building, two human figures get out, both were about four
feet tall, and a little on the pudgy side; each were wearing cover-alls,
hardhats, and filter masks; all white.  They are armed with seltzer
bottles, pies, and other cartoony props of mayhem and mess.  It
was dark, the campus the almost empty, all systems were go...   

* * *    

   Back at the Pizza Cave...

   By this time the food was delivered, and the two waring factions were
enjoying a nice repast, relieved by the thought that perhaps having
dinner together will "break the ice". 

   "So, how are you feeling, Ruby?"  Hamton asked.

   "Fine..."  She responded, sounding a  little horse, "My throat should
be healed in a couple of days."

   "Margot, I hear you have a sister at Acme."  Plucky stated.

   "Yes, I do."  Margot Mallard answered, gaging on some soda, "she
enrolled last semester."

   "We don't see to much of her...Mona, isn't it?"  Buster offered, "She
spends most of her time in the library."

   "Yeah, we call her Mo-nerd!"  Plucky interjected.

   This was followed by a sharp konk on the head with a wooden mallot,
(courtesy of Shirley the Loon), which left the little green duck in the
standard collapsed-head-eyes-bulged-out-tongue-extended "boggle"; which he
was able to immediately recover from, with a quick shake of the head.

   "Thanks, I needed that."  He responded, weakly.

   Margot tried to force down what was left of the Pizza she was eating,
that last remark affected her more than she realized: strange, since she
called her younger sister worst...

   "If the situation was reversed.." Danford Duck asked Buster, "would you
ever consider leaving Acme Loo?"

   "Well, I never thought..."
   
   "To be or not to be!"  Roddy started.  "That is the question that
occupies our minds right now."

   "Huh?"  Buster mumbled.

   "With Perfecto being annexed, what becomes of us?"  Roddy asked.  "Are
you really prepared to welcome us with open arms?"

  *Well...sort of!*  Buster thought, only he just smiled and nodded.

   "We need breathing room."  Margot added.  "Acme is a good-guys only
club.  We might not be trusted."

   *Duh!*  Babs thought.

   "That is untrue!"  Hamton interjected. 

   The sound of Roddy banging on a water glass got everybody's attention:
no sense in arguing in a public place.   

   "Ladies and Gentlemen, a toast!"  He then lifted up his glass,
prompting the others to do the same.  "To the undiscovered campus!"

   This caused quite of bit of a murmur to go around the table.

   Roddy sensed everyone's puzzlement.

   "To the future!  Our two schools being united, each campus being
undiscovered by the other."

   This sort of made perfectly good sense, as much sense as anything else, 
and since the group didn't want to destroy the mood of the evening, they
toasted in that fashion.

   This jolly mood would have continued...

   BEEP! BEEP!

   If it wasn't for the interruption of Roddy's cellular phone.

   Both Rudy and Babs mouthed something, (that shouldn't be repeated in a
family cartoon), and Roddy reached into his jacket.

  "Roddy."

  He listened for a few seconds, the voice on the other end sounded
rather...excited.

   "Okay, we'll wait for you."

   He slowly replaced the phone, and   If a table full of cartoon
characters could get any more quieter, it wasn't possible.

  "Party's over."  Roddy said.

  This sounded like a clue to leave, if there ever was one.   The bill was
paid, and the entire group left the restaurant.

   As soon as they left the building, (as an example of good dramatic
timing), a limo screeched to a halt, with and a bunch of 
Perfecto...well...thugs...hopping out.

  "En Guard!"  Fifi said, spinning into a musketeer uniform and
extending a foil.

  "Wrong studio, Feef."  Shirley offered.

  "Alright!  A rumble!"  Plucky said. spinning into a gangster costume,
(complete with two circa-twenties Thompsons, obviously unloaded; but
symbolism is important.) 

  "Buster, I don't like the looks of this..."  Babs said.

  "Shhh!"  Buster reacted, drawing his finger across his neck, (the
universal sign to: "knock it off!").   "What's going on?"

  "As if you didn't know!"  Roddy responded.

  "What are you talking about, Rod?"

  "Don't 'Rod' me, Acme Loser!  You planned this all along!"

  "I don't understand...if I did something wrong, at least let me know
what I'm being charged with!"

  "In due time."

  Buster had one more order to give, (and he's probably going to regret
this).  "RUN!"
 
  They ran.

  Buster couldn't run anywhere, he was surrounded by Perfecto, Plucky was
tackled and was stuffed kicking and screaming into the back of the limo,
deposited next to Buster, The others got away.  As the limo started to
drive off, all that Buster could here were Roddy in the front seat saying:

  "Can you hear the chimes of midnight, Buster Bunny."

  *Hey! What's with the Shakespeare all of the sudden!*  Buster thought.

   Babs watched the limo drive off, snaking around corners as fast as it
can, to the hill that comprised the Perfecto campus.  She had her hands
crossed in front of her and a look on her face that was neither cute nor 
lady-like.  It was already getting late, and workmen from the Department
of Public Works were already starting to pry up the sidewalks.

  "Le fan...got really messy, no?"  Fifi asked, her control of English
lost in the altercation.

* * * 

   The next day...

   News of the...incident...has gotten around; at Bugs Bunny's office,
plans were being made.

   "We call this plan 'Operation: Rescue'".  Foghorn Leghorn said, 
indicating a large collection of charts, graphs, maps, chicken soup
recipes, etc, (most of which completely incomprehensible).  "Rescue... 
that is!"

  "Hold on there!"  Yosemite Sam interrupted, "We got to go in there
shoot'n and a blast'n"!  And with that, he drew his six-shooters and
opened fired in random directions, causing Bugs to duck down behind his
desk.

   "We'll cwean their cwocks!"  This coming from Elmer Fudd.

   The two men then spinned into all black leisure suites, (complete with
dark sunglasses and very strange looking heavy weapons).

   "You know how to use that thing, Fudd?"  The other inquired.

   "Haven't the slightest idea."

   "Me neither."

   "Now hold on yoose two!"  Bugs interjected, trying to maintain control.
"We are not going to make this situation worse by breaking and entering!"

   "But Perfecto belongs to us now!"  Foghorn Leghorn interrupted.  "We
got to keep these new students in line!  In line, that is!"

   "Maybe, but I'm not doing anything until after the dedication
Thursday." Bugs replied.

   "That's your final word?"  Foghorn asked.

   "This Wabbit is not above the law!"

* * * 

   Meanwhile....

   "You don't say!"  Babs replied, listening to the rather excited voice
on the other end of the cafeteria phone.  "You don't say!"

   She listened a little longer.

   "You don't say!"

   She then hung up the phone.

   "Like...who was it?"  Shirley asked.

   "She didn't say."

   The glare that Shriley gave her could have bored hole through three
miles of ferro-concrete.

   "I can't help it if there was no split screen.  Anyway, she gave me the
gist of what happened.  She couldn't talk too long... her voice was
sounding horse."

   Babs then proceeded to explain everything she was told about the
"attack",  the two coveralls, the pies, the seltzer, etc; disapointed that
there was no ripple-desolve flashback. 

  "Don't worry."  Babs explained. "I am sure Buster and Plucky have the
situation well in hand."

* * * 

   Cut to...

   "You can't do this to me!  I'm innocent I tell you!"  Plucky yelled as
he and Buster were carried to the "courtroom", (actually a hastily
redressed room in the basement of Perfecto's Administration building).

   "Hear ye!  Hear Ye!"  Announced Roddy, now in the costume of an Olde
English Bobby.  "The trial of the state versus Buster Bunny and Plucky
Duck will now commence!  All rise for his honor: Judge Roddy Rat!"

   He then immediately did a spin-change into a Olde English Judge and
took his seat behind the bench, producing a rather oversize gavel from his
robe, he banged the court to order.

  "I hate it when vilians do spin-changes." Plucky said, as an aside to
Buster.

  "Shut up."  Buster replied, melodicly.

  "Order!  Order in the court!"
  
   Everybody then turned to stare at Buster Bunny.

   "What are you looking at me for!  We've done this gag!"  He replied, a
little offended.

  "Council for the defense...,are you ready?"

  "Ready...your honor."  Ruby replied, dressed nicely in a HRC type
business suit, somewhat embarrassed.  She tries to straighten out the curly
white wig she was wearing, got frustrated, and tossed it aside.

  Prosecution, are you ready?"

  "Ready your honor!"  It was Roddy again, dressed as a British barrister, 
and sitting across from her with a smug look on his face.

  *And I would like to thank the Academy!*  Roddy thought.

  "Hey, you can't be both Prosecutor and Judge!"  Buster exclaimed,
standing up from behind the Defense desk he was sitting.

  "Why not, look at the Jury!"
  
  He motioned towards the Jury, and sure enough, ALL of them were Roddy
Rat.  In fact, the only people who WEREN'T" Roddy Rat were those in the
public gallery; most of those in the public gallery.

  "The studio must be undergoing budget cuts."  Plucky commented.

  "Are you executioner as well?"  Buster said.

  Roddy, (as a lawyer), raised his finger and began to speak...

  "Forget I said that."

* * * 

   Meanwhile.....
  
   Babs paced back and forth, her hand on her chin, thinking.  This went
on for a good hour or so, and a good portion of the Cafeteria floor was
being worn out in the meantime.  The place was largely empty; it was
well after lunch and the gang decided to ignore the usual school regimen
for the duration of the "emergency".

  "The only chance to save them." Babs said, "We have to prove their
innocence."

  "Qui?"  Fifi indicated?

  "How do we like...do that?"  Shirley asked.

  "We'll have to search the entire campus, tear this campus apart if we
have to."

   "What are we looking for?"  Hamton asked, "Transmissions?"

   Everyone sort of groaned at this one...

   "Coveralls."

   "Excuse me?"  Shirley ask.

   "The two goons were wearing coveralls when they vandalized the Perfecto
campus, they had to come from here."  She said.  "Which means they had to
put them back."

   "And if they put them back,"  Shirley continued, "we'll find out where
they came from...or some junk."

   "What if they laundered them, or destroyed them before they got
back?"  Hamton asked.

   "They wouldn't have time to launder them," Babs explained. "And if they
ditched them, there would be two sets of coveralls not accounted for, or
two pairs of perfectly clean coveralls.  So, either way, we are looking
for...coveralls."

   "That's...like...you know, pretty flimsy logic!"  Shirley said.

   "What do I look like, a Vulcan?"

* * * 

   Back at the trial....

   "I offer as my first piece of evidence...."  Roddy said, (as a lawyer),
"this!"

   He held up a single brown leather glove.

   "Objection!"  Ruby yelled, "That's not from the case!"

   "Oh all right..." Roddy admitted, tossing the glove aside.  "I offer as
my next piece of evidence...this!"

   It was a seltzer bottle.

   Lawyer Roddy Rat approached the witness stand where Buster was seated
and showed him the bottle.

   "Will you please read the label on the bottle."

   "Well...."  Buster said, as he adjusted the bottle for better lighting.

   "Don't wait for the translation!  Read the label on the bottle!"

   "Objection!"  Ruby cried.

   "Oh!...."  Roddy said, waving her off.

   "Hey!"  She said, standing up from the traditional Defense desk and  
putting her hands on her hips.  "You want to sleep on the couch for the
next five months?"

   "Sorry honey!"  He said, meekly.  This prompted Judge Rat to snicker
with his hand over his mouth.

   "Ahem!"  He said, clearing his throat.

   When a resemblance of order returned, he turned his attention back to  
to the witness stand.   "Now, read the label on the bottle."

   "It says: Acme Seltzer Co., subsidiary of Acme Soda, bottled in-"

   "Enough."  Roddy said, snatching the bottle away.

   "Acme Seltzer Co....as in Acme Loo?"

   "Objection!  That bottle could have came from anywhere!"

   "Judge, if it may please the court; I would like to also offer in
evidence, the sticker on the bottom.  You may read it if you like."

   "Why most certainly, kind sir."  Roddy, (as judge), replied.  "It says:
'Property of Acme Looniversity'".

   "That same sticker is all ALL of the stuff left behind by the
vandals!"

   "So it is!"  Judge Rat admitted,  "Brilliant Observation!"

   "I hope he busts a gut doing all those spin-changes."  Plucky said, as
an aside to Ruby.

* * * 

   Back at Acme Loo, the gang were busily going through lockers, boxes,
trash cans and such looking for two pairs of coveralls.

   At the same time: the school staff were preparing for the dedication
ceremony three days hence; and while workman prepared the auditorium for
the big occasion, a man dressed in a maintainence uniform carrys a large
tool box down a corridor.  He goes up some stars, and into a storage room
directly above the auditorium.  Checking some school plans and measuring
some distances, he saws a large circle directly above the speakers
podium, large enough to accommodate a large anvil placed ominously
near by. 

   The plan was simple: glue will keep the cover on the hole in place,
but it won't be strong enough to support the weight of the anvil...placed
on top at the right moment.

* * * 

   At the trial...

   It was Plucky's turn in the hot-seat.

   "For the records, please state your name?"  Roddy Rat, (the lawyer)
asked.

   "My name is Plucky Duck."

   "And how long have you been going to Acme Looniversity?"

   "Objection!" yelled Ruby.

   Roddy turned to look at her.

   "Continuity problem."  She replied.

   "Sustained..."  Judge Roddy admitted.

   "Be that as it may."  Lawyer Roddy continued: "what is your capacity?"

   "Well, let's see...I can drink..."  Plucky stumbled.

   "Answer the question!"  Roddy, (both of them), yelled.

   "Objection!"

   Roddy turned to towards Ruby.  "Whose side are you on, anyway!"

   He then addressed Plucky again:

   "Answer the question."

   "For the past several years, I served as Comic Relief and Buster's
sidekick."

   This statement got several oohs and ahhs form the audience.

   "And what is your impression of Buster Bunny?"

   Plucky then spinned-turned into a cheap blue rabbit costume, complete
with little red shirt, he starts muching a carrot.

  Roddy leans over the witness stand, grabs him by the shirt-collar, and
slaps him one.  Plucky changes back.

   "Sidekick...hmmm."  Roddy said, deciding to rephrase the question: 
 "and during your tenure as 'sidekick', what is your assestment of Buster
Bunny?  It he a born leader?  Popular?  Charismatic?  A true hero?
Everybody respects him, everybody loves him?"

   All of this was really pumping up Buster's ego, until he realized where
this was going.

   "Yeah...I guess so."  Plucky admitted.  *Forget the rabbit!  Let's talk
about me!*

   "Objection!  You're leading the witness."

   Roddy had enough, he walked over to Ruby.

   "Isn't there anything you can say that doesn't begin with the word
'objection'"?

   Ruby immediately pulled out her copy of the script, and began rapidly
flipping the pages.

   "Ahh....not for a few more scenes."

   "Anyway..."  Roddy said, turning back to the little green duck.

   "In your opinion...Mr. Plucky.  If Buster were to...suggest that
something be done, it would get done?"

   "I suppose..."

   "Your honor, gentlemen of the Jury..."  Roddy giving the jury a
victorious 'thumbs up'. 

   "Buster Bunny arranged to have dinner with us.  I submit: that this
was to distract us, and to lull us into a false sense of security; while
at the same time, a vicious attack was being made against our campus.  An
attack which he also ordered and planned."

   This statement got a standing ovation form the gallery, to which
both Lawyer and Judge Rat graciously bowed. 

   "I am also convinced, that the so-called 'accidental' fire which
destroyed our campus and started this mess was no accident at all, but
is part of the same conspiracy!"

   When Ruby heard this...she could hardly control herself.  Her lower lip
started to tremble and tears started to roll down her cheeks.  

  "Defense, do you wish to cross-examine."  He said, triumphantly.

   She stood up...sobbed...and quickly walked out the room, leaving Lawyer
Roddy with his mouth hanging open.

* * * 

   Back at Acme Looniversity, the search was proceeding apace for the
coveralls.  The first place that was searched was the janitorial supply
room in the basement, but two coveralls were missing.  The gang was about
the leave when a banging was heard from one of closets.

   Babs found two coveralls...and the people wearing them.

   Monty and Elmyra, were both bound and gagged and tied back to back.
Monty tried to talk but his voice was obviously muffled.  Babs
kindly pulled the gag out of his mouth.

   "You can't do this to me!"  He screamed, "I'm rich!  I'll sue!"  

   "Oh Monty-wonty!  This is so romantic, being tied up together like
that!"   Elmyra said after her gag was removed.  "Although I'm usually
not that kind-."

   "Shut up!"  Monty yelled.

   "Monty..."  Babs said, cradling Monty's face with her hands.  "Who put
you up to that stunt with the Perfecto campus?  You are usually not that
stupid."  

   "I am too!"  Monty replied, "I mean, I'll never tell!  Nobody put me up
to anything!"

   "But Monty-wonty, it was that nice mousey whose wife was in the
hospital!"

   "Roddy?"  Babs reacted.  "I knew I smelled a rat!"

   (Drum rift...cymbol crash!)  

   Babs cupped one hand over her face in embarrassment.

   "Why would Roddy wreck his own campus?"  Shirley asked.

   "Why not?"  Hamton asked, "He probably dosn't like this
situation any more than we do."

   "Like...of all the things we have to have in common with Perfecto."
Shriley commented.

* * * 

   *About time they got back to us*  Buster thought, as he and Plucky
stood before the "Judge" to await their sentencing.  The Jury was quick
and concisive, and brought in a "guilty" verdict in a little under ten
minutes...after discussing the merits of various Acme females.

   "Gee, they took a WHOLE ten minutes."  Plucky said.  "Somebody must be
slipping."

   "AHEM!"  The Judge said, trying to talk over a whole pile of
"evidence", (pie pans and seltzer bottles), each bearing a "Property of
Acme Looniversity" sticker.  Frustrated, he uses one of his arms to sweep
everything onto the floor.

   "You have been found guilty of being in violation of Acme Acres
municipal code 3727717.3, Paragraph 3, Section 2, Subsection 45: Conspiracy
to vandalize public property, throwing cream pies without a license, using
unregistered seltzer bottles, and the illegal detonation of toon-dynamite
within the city limits.  You are hearby sentenced to three hundred hours
of community service at the discretion of the offended party.  Sentence is
to begin immeadiately!  Court adjourned."

   As Buster and Plucky were being led off by a couple of Perfecto goons,
they overheard Roddy remarking to himself:

   "At least this gets them out of the way until AFTER the
dedication."

   This caused both the duck and the rabbit to look at each other in
suprise.

  As the rabbit and duck were being led out the door, Buster was heard
saying:

   "I wonder what other humiliations they're going to heap upon us."

* * * 

   A few hours latter...

   "I HAD to ask!"

   We find our two heros, Buster and Plucky out on some desert
highway, with trash bags in their hands, striped prison uniforms on their
backs, and large metal balls chained to their feet.  Behind them, an
unending desert landscape with mountains and mesas in the background: you
can film a Road Runner cartoon here; (they FILMED Road Runner cartoons
here).
   
   Apparently, their "community service" was to babysit Perecto's adopted 
highway, (which seemed unusually messy, considering); "guarding" them
were two females: an otter and a badger, They were dressed like Southern
prison guards, (complete with sunglasses and wide brim hats), and  all
they were doing were sitting on a blanket under an umbrella.  The badger
was reading a magazine, the otter was filing her nails. 

   "Nobody knows the troubles I've seen!"  Plucky began singing, this was
followed by a slap from Buster.

   They continued working a little longer.

   "Oh great, we'll spend the rest of our miserable lives here!"  Plucky
wispered.

   "Plucky, have you ever thought about the future?"  Buster answered, in
kind.

   "That's the point I was trying to-"

   "No, not this future!  The bigger future!  The ceremony, the annexing,
everything!  I swear, it never even really occurred to me to be friends
with the Perfecto; and they sure don't want to be friends with us."

   "Someone went to a lot of trouble to blame us for the incident."
   
   "Yeah, and you heard Roddy mention the ceremony.  We've got to get
out of here!"

   Plucky noticed the two girls, who were still oblivious to everything.

   "Helllllo!"  Plucky yelled, with his hands over his beak.  "I hope we're
not BORING you, are we?!"   

   Buster and Plucky continued to work a little while longer...until they
noticed the two girls motioning them over.

   A little while later, a pickup truck pulled up to the side of the
road, and as soon as it stopped, Ruby and a female duck hopped out of the
cargo bed.  They were both dressed in gypsie costumes, Roddy carring a
tamborine, the duck carring a mandolin.  Ruby raised her hands as if to
play...

  "What the..."

  Buster, Plucky, and the two "guards" were lying on the blanket under the
umbrella.  Buster and the badger were playing "cats cradle", and the otter
was peeling Plucky grapes.	

  Buster and Plucky noticed the other girls coming over to and got up to
meet them, (the iron balls weren't THAT heavy); Plucky especially, was
walking over to the other duck and attempting to introduce himself.
  
  "Ruby!  What are you doing here?"  Buster asked.

  "This was supposed to be a rescue."  She replied, a little under her
breath.

  "Gee..."  Buster began, embarrassed.  "I guess they kind of got bored
with guarding us."

   "I don't believe it!"  Ruby replied, walking around gesturing with her
hands and doing a slow burn.  " go through all this trouble to get these
disguises, and you're not even in the least amount of distress!"

   "Well, I WAS getting kind of tired of eating grapes."  Plucky
offered.

   This resulted in Buster hitting him over the head with a mallot.

   "Why...gypsies?"  Buster asked.

   "Agh!  It was the only costumes Wardrobe had left!"  Ruby
explained.  "They used up all the rest of them in that dumb
trial scene!"

    "That's the trouble with epics nowadays."  Buster said.

    "And that probably explains the general lack of epics in Hollywood."
Plucky replied.
   
    (Drum rift...cymbol crash!)

    "Ya wanna hit him?"  Buster asked.

    The gang noticed the two "guards", still on the blanket, hastily
looking over the script.

    "That's not going to help!"  Buster yelled.  "I think we're
improvising right now!"

    He then turned around and noticed the female duck as if for the first
time.

   "Who's your friend?"  Buster asked Ruby.   
   
   "Oh!  I'm Mona.  I'm here because of foreshadowing!"

   "Figures..."  Buster remarked.
   
   "We have to go back to Acme."  Buster said.  "Something's going down at
the dedication."

   Plucky couldn't help but wince from that line.
 
   "I know."  Ruby added, "The program will be starting soon, we don't
have much time."
 
   "Wait a minute!"  Plucky said, before getting into the truck.  "Why
should we trust her, after what she pulled at the trial!"

   "Like she had much of a choice!"  Buster said.

   "I'm sorry about that.  I....have my reasons." 

   The four of them climed into the truck, and as Ruby raised
the tailgate: she noticed the two girls on the blanket.

  "You better come along too, we might as well tie up ALL the loose
ends."

   Ruby signaled the still unseen driver to drive off, and as the truck
drove off into the distance; you could hear Buster say:

   "Ruby, get us out of these leg irons!"

* * * 

   Babs couldn't stand it!

   The dedication ceremony was about to begin, there was nothing she could
do.  Monty and Elmyra were turned over to security, and all she could was
wait.  She sat cross-legged in the auditorium with Shirley on one side and
Fifi on the other.  Hamton was sitting behind them.  The Auditorium
itself was impressively decorated:  The walls were lined with several
flags, paper ribbons ran across the ceiling, lights were everywhere.
Dignitaries from all over the state were in the audience: even the
Governor himself was in the audience, flanked by "guards".  All of this
only served to remind her of the enormity of the situation.  This is
probably the most important event in the school's history.

   "He has like, a lot of nerve, you know?"  Shirley said, indicating 
Roddy, who was sitting over on the other side of the room with the other
Perfectos.  It was like a national border ran down the middle of the
aisle.

   "The school dosen't want to..."  Hamton began.

   "I know."  Babs said, "They don't want to do anything until everything
is official."  Babs was honked, it was all she could to to keep from
strangling that little freak.

   The ceremony was begining.  The school's Principal, Bugs Bunny, walked
out on stage and stood at the podium.

   (The man upstairs checked his watch, he began to budge the anvil into
the circle.)

   "Ladies and Gentlemen."  Bugs began to speak.

   (Budge some more...)

   "We are here today at a crossroads in our history.  A time of
opportunity, a time of providence."

   (Budging....budging...)

   "A time to turn accident into opportunity, to turn tradgety into
triumph."

   "Stop!"

   It was Buster, to the suprise of just about everybody.  He was standing
at the entrance, still wearing his prison uniform, (not wishing to screw
up a perfectly good dramatic entrance), he even had a little spotlight on
him...

   He ran down the aisle between the seats, and gave a mightly leap onto
the stage, and in the process knocking Bugs over.

   Seconds before a very big and heavy anvil came crashing down.

   A man looked down the hole, saw what happened, and ran off.
   
  "Buster!"  Babs cried, as her and the others rushed onto the stage. 
"You're allright!"

  "What's going on here!"  Roddy insisted.

  "Roddy told Monty to trash the school."  Buster said.  "He then arranged
this...."

  "Why?"  Bugs asked, a little confused.

   "Probably to keep both schools at each other's throats."  Babs added;
"in spite of the annexing."

   "You can't prove a thing."  Roddy said, from his seat in the audience.

   "We have a full confession."  Foghorn Leghorn said, walking into the
auditorium with Monty and Elmyra in tow.

   "Then, who was that guy?"  Shirley asked.

   "Let's find out!"  Mona said, as Ruby and her, were walking into
the auditorium with the anvil-man between them.  They saw him leaving the
storeroom as they were entering the building and cornered him before he
got away. 

   Buster noticed something was not right and approached the anvil-man.
He pulled off a disguise...

   Yosemite Sam!

   No, that can't be right, Buster pulled off another disguise.

   Elmer Fudd!

   No, again.

   Ronald Reagan!

   William Shatner!

   *This is getting ridiculous!*  He thought, as he pulls off the last
disguise.

   Roddy Rat!

   "It you want something done right..."  Roddy started.

   "But, why?"  Babs asked.

   "You burned down my school!"  Roddy yelled, motioning the other one
aside; unable to control his temper.

   "I burned down the school..."

   It was Ruby...she was crying.

   "I was working late on a science project."  She admitted.  "I must have
fallen asleep.  I don't know.  I might have knocked the burner over."

   Roddy rushed over to her, and started hugging her and comforting her.

  "It's okay, babe."  He said, softly, "It wasn't your fault; it had to
been an accident.  Oh Gawd, I'm sorry I put you through all this."

   Apology accepted, the others thought.

   Later...

   The ceremony went off rather well, considering, and most of the Acmes
were standing in front of the school with Rudy, Roddy, Margot...their new
friends.

   What a wonderful thought.

   Buster and Babs were leaving the building, walking down the front
steps together.

   "It must have been a horrible ordeal!"  Babs said.  "The trial, the
work, the mistreatment by those guareds, you'll have to tell me all
about it!"

   "Yeah...right."  Buster replied.

   By the time they got down the stairs, a limo pulled up, and Roddy
went to open the door.

   "Well..." Buster said, extending his hand.  "It's been real.."

   Roddy grasps the offered hand with both of his own.

   "I'm really..."

   "That's okay, I would have done the same thing."  Buster replied; "or
not."

   The New-Acme students were piled into the car, Roddy rolled down the
window.

   "Nice big campus you have here."  Roddy said.

   "Not as big as some of it's newer students."  Buster replied.

   This made Roddy chuckle.  He then sat back, and motioned to the
driver.

   "First star to the right, straight on till morning!"  And with that the
limo drove off.

The End