THE UNDISCOVERED CAMPUS By Zachary A. Zulkowski (zzul518@village.ios.com) The newspaper headlines were practically screaming off the pages, all over Acme Acres, (and the rest of Los Angeles County), was the news: PERFECTO PREP BURNED DOWN, ARSON SUSPECTED. This same headline Buster Bunny was reading, (basically because he couldn't hear the headlines screaming), through the glass of a newspaper vending machine located in front of the administration building of Acme Loo. "Tsk Tsk Tsk" Buster indicated, clicking his tongue. "What a terrible shame!" Babs added, (not too convincingly), while reading over Buster's shoulder. "A perfectly good fire wasted on a school like Perfecto.". "Yeah...terrible." Buster replied, picking up on her mock sorrow. By just then Shirley the Loon walked buy and noticed their reactions. "You two should be, like totally, ashamed..." "Oh, the fire didn't burn the WHOLE campus down!" Buster replied. "Unfortunately..." Babs added, (which was met with a quick jab in the stomach by Buster's elbow.). "That fire, like, totaled half of Perfecto's administration building." Shirley said. "Nobody was hurt!" Babs retorted. "There was only one case of smoke inhalation; and Ruby's doing fine!" "We're were just having a little laugh...heh..heh!" Buster explained, that last part coming out just a little weakly, (considering the loon's biting stare). "The meeting's starting..." Babs commented, breaking an awkward silence. The meeting was being held in auditorium that was adjacent to the Admin. building. The three of them found their way inside and found seats next to Hamton, Fifi, and Plucky. The clique was complete, and all seemed right with with the world. Until... "Ladies and Gentlemen!" Bugs Bunny said, banging a "gavel", (actually a large carrot), on a podium the center of the stage. "Ladies and Gentlemen, can we have some order! Let's have order in this here meeting!" "I'll have a large carrot juice and salad to go!" Boomed a familiar young buck wearing a red shirt. crickets... This time Babs stood up, placed one of her soft, feminine hands on his shoulder...and slammed him back into his seat. "Ah heh heh!" He said, smiling weakly. "Now, as I was saying, ladies and germs...." Bugs said. This time the audience howled with laughter. Bugs waited for a few minutes for the laughter to die down, then continued: "As you know, early yesterday morning; a fire broke out on the campus of Perfecto Prepratory School; destroying a large portion of that campus's administration building, gutting three science labs, and a large percentage of the dormatory area before it was contained. One injury was reported, a Ms. Rhubella Rat, who suffered smoke inhalation; and was released shortly afterward. The fire was the result of a accident, and no arson is involved." "However, I have received a notice from the California Board of Education: due to the fact that because of certain...excesses, over the history of Perfecto Prep, the school has no money to completely rebuild, the Board has to choice but too...ahem...incorporate the Perfect Campus into the Acme Looniverity campus; putting an end to almost seventy years of hostility." This announcement cased quite a few murmurs in the crowd, including some in particular: "I...don't believe it...." "Like...totally..." "Oh merde..." It took a little time for the audience to file out, and the gang waited behind, (to ditch a little more class time), Buster saw Bugs motioning him over with a finger. "We'll see you later." Babs whispered, "...if there is one." She then directed the other four out the door. *Uh oh!* Buster thought, *I'm in for it!* He then folded his ears back to tried on his best "whipped puppy" expression. He then walked over to where Bugs was standing at the podium. "Knock it off!" Bugs remarked, "I've seen that in too many episodes!" "Well...what's up, Doc-Uncle? "Well...nephew..." Bugs said, suprising Buster as it was probably the first time in Warner history that Bugs ever called him that. "You seem to have a lot in influence in what the students do around here." "Well I..." "You are what they call, a trend setter, a leader, a role-model, everybody respects you, everybody loves you." "Why thank y-" "Shut up!" Bugs waited a few beats, he smiled, then placed a hand affectionately on Buster's shoulder. "Anyway, I need a favor from yoose; eventually Perfecto students will be attending classes here; they will meet with some hostikity, some derision. I want you to set an example for the students here; I want you to be friends with them. In short, I want you...to be our olive branch." "Why me?" Buster was taken completely aback at this. "I've...done my bit...for...studio and country!" "Plucky does it better" Bugs whispered, getting a shrug from Buster. "There is an old saying," Bugs continued, "only Nixon can go to China." * * * Some time later... It was night in Acme Acres, the stores were closing, and in a couple of more hours, workmen will arrive to roll back the sidewalks. "I can't believe we're doing this!" Pluck muttered, as him and the gang were walking down the sidewalk, towards the local "Pizza Cave". Since this was an important dinner, they were all looking their best: the males in shirts and jackets, the females in suits or dresses. Even Fifi, whose fur was usually to heavy to necessitate the need for clothing, was wearing a green blouse and skirt. "I can't believe we're doing this either." Buster replied, "but Uncle Bugs wanted us to treat them to dinner...so we are!" "Least he gave us some money." "A whole C note." Buster said, opening up his wallet, (and sure enough, a middle C note sounded). "More cheap gags like that, and this story isn't going to be taken seriously." Plucky muttered, offhandedly. Buster then couldn't help noticing the girl's constant chattering, which was going on since this scene started. "Oh, it's just girl-talk." Babs remarked, sensing his interest and trying to subdue a giggle.. "They were discussing the merits of various Perfecto males." Hamton commented, he was walking behind them and, to his embarrassment, heard every word. "Babs!" "We ARE supposed to be friendly to them!" "Yeah, but not date them!" Buster replied, at which point the girls started giggling. "Speak of the devil..." Plucky said, indicating up ahead, to the group of...former Perfecto students at the entrance to the restaurant. The group consisted of Roddy and Rhubella Rat, Margot Mallard, Danford Duck and Manny Mole, and like the Acmes, were dressed in simular attire. "I didn't think you Acme....students, were going to show!" Roddy said, wincing slightly from a nudge from Ruby's elbow. "Now are we the type who would to that to our new friends?" Buster replied, through a somewhat forced smile, this was rewarded with a slight nudge from Babs. "Gee, are we that late?" Hamton asked. "No..." Ruby said, her voice being a little horse from the accident, "We were early!" She then gave Roddy a slightly angered glance. The group then entered the restaurant. Since the place was called the "Pizza Cave" it was, of course, done in tacky Flintstone era style: complete with fake rock walls and caveman costumes for the waitresses. "Ever since Warner took over Hanna-Barbarra..." Buster offered, as an aside to Plucky. "Tell me this place isn't franchised." Plucky returned. After a few minutes, a waitress led them a line of several small tables placed end to end. There was a few seconds of hesitation and whispering; then both "gangs"...er "contingents" took their seats, with Acme on one side and Perfecto on the other, (with Buster and Roddy at opposite ends), causing both Ruby and Babs to roll their eyes upward: both having visions of a white line drawn down the middle of the table. After another few minutes of silent diplomatic posturing, the waitress came around and they ordered three large "Kitchen sink" specials, enough bread sticks to shingle a small house, and enough cola to house a swim match. * * * Meanwhile.... A limo enters the Perfecto campus, parks in front of what's left of the Administration building, two human figures get out, both were about four feet tall, and a little on the pudgy side; each were wearing cover-alls, hardhats, and filter masks; all white. They are armed with seltzer bottles, pies, and other cartoony props of mayhem and mess. It was dark, the campus the almost empty, all systems were go... * * * Back at the Pizza Cave... By this time the food was delivered, and the two waring factions were enjoying a nice repast, relieved by the thought that perhaps having dinner together will "break the ice". "So, how are you feeling, Ruby?" Hamton asked. "Fine..." She responded, sounding a little horse, "My throat should be healed in a couple of days." "Margot, I hear you have a sister at Acme." Plucky stated. "Yes, I do." Margot Mallard answered, gaging on some soda, "she enrolled last semester." "We don't see to much of her...Mona, isn't it?" Buster offered, "She spends most of her time in the library." "Yeah, we call her Mo-nerd!" Plucky interjected. This was followed by a sharp konk on the head with a wooden mallot, (courtesy of Shirley the Loon), which left the little green duck in the standard collapsed-head-eyes-bulged-out-tongue-extended "boggle"; which he was able to immediately recover from, with a quick shake of the head. "Thanks, I needed that." He responded, weakly. Margot tried to force down what was left of the Pizza she was eating, that last remark affected her more than she realized: strange, since she called her younger sister worst... "If the situation was reversed.." Danford Duck asked Buster, "would you ever consider leaving Acme Loo?" "Well, I never thought..." "To be or not to be!" Roddy started. "That is the question that occupies our minds right now." "Huh?" Buster mumbled. "With Perfecto being annexed, what becomes of us?" Roddy asked. "Are you really prepared to welcome us with open arms?" *Well...sort of!* Buster thought, only he just smiled and nodded. "We need breathing room." Margot added. "Acme is a good-guys only club. We might not be trusted." *Duh!* Babs thought. "That is untrue!" Hamton interjected. The sound of Roddy banging on a water glass got everybody's attention: no sense in arguing in a public place. "Ladies and Gentlemen, a toast!" He then lifted up his glass, prompting the others to do the same. "To the undiscovered campus!" This caused quite of bit of a murmur to go around the table. Roddy sensed everyone's puzzlement. "To the future! Our two schools being united, each campus being undiscovered by the other." This sort of made perfectly good sense, as much sense as anything else, and since the group didn't want to destroy the mood of the evening, they toasted in that fashion. This jolly mood would have continued... BEEP! BEEP! If it wasn't for the interruption of Roddy's cellular phone. Both Rudy and Babs mouthed something, (that shouldn't be repeated in a family cartoon), and Roddy reached into his jacket. "Roddy." He listened for a few seconds, the voice on the other end sounded rather...excited. "Okay, we'll wait for you." He slowly replaced the phone, and If a table full of cartoon characters could get any more quieter, it wasn't possible. "Party's over." Roddy said. This sounded like a clue to leave, if there ever was one. The bill was paid, and the entire group left the restaurant. As soon as they left the building, (as an example of good dramatic timing), a limo screeched to a halt, with and a bunch of Perfecto...well...thugs...hopping out. "En Guard!" Fifi said, spinning into a musketeer uniform and extending a foil. "Wrong studio, Feef." Shirley offered. "Alright! A rumble!" Plucky said. spinning into a gangster costume, (complete with two circa-twenties Thompsons, obviously unloaded; but symbolism is important.) "Buster, I don't like the looks of this..." Babs said. "Shhh!" Buster reacted, drawing his finger across his neck, (the universal sign to: "knock it off!"). "What's going on?" "As if you didn't know!" Roddy responded. "What are you talking about, Rod?" "Don't 'Rod' me, Acme Loser! You planned this all along!" "I don't understand...if I did something wrong, at least let me know what I'm being charged with!" "In due time." Buster had one more order to give, (and he's probably going to regret this). "RUN!" They ran. Buster couldn't run anywhere, he was surrounded by Perfecto, Plucky was tackled and was stuffed kicking and screaming into the back of the limo, deposited next to Buster, The others got away. As the limo started to drive off, all that Buster could here were Roddy in the front seat saying: "Can you hear the chimes of midnight, Buster Bunny." *Hey! What's with the Shakespeare all of the sudden!* Buster thought. Babs watched the limo drive off, snaking around corners as fast as it can, to the hill that comprised the Perfecto campus. She had her hands crossed in front of her and a look on her face that was neither cute nor lady-like. It was already getting late, and workmen from the Department of Public Works were already starting to pry up the sidewalks. "Le fan...got really messy, no?" Fifi asked, her control of English lost in the altercation. * * * The next day... News of the...incident...has gotten around; at Bugs Bunny's office, plans were being made. "We call this plan 'Operation: Rescue'". Foghorn Leghorn said, indicating a large collection of charts, graphs, maps, chicken soup recipes, etc, (most of which completely incomprehensible). "Rescue... that is!" "Hold on there!" Yosemite Sam interrupted, "We got to go in there shoot'n and a blast'n"! And with that, he drew his six-shooters and opened fired in random directions, causing Bugs to duck down behind his desk. "We'll cwean their cwocks!" This coming from Elmer Fudd. The two men then spinned into all black leisure suites, (complete with dark sunglasses and very strange looking heavy weapons). "You know how to use that thing, Fudd?" The other inquired. "Haven't the slightest idea." "Me neither." "Now hold on yoose two!" Bugs interjected, trying to maintain control. "We are not going to make this situation worse by breaking and entering!" "But Perfecto belongs to us now!" Foghorn Leghorn interrupted. "We got to keep these new students in line! In line, that is!" "Maybe, but I'm not doing anything until after the dedication Thursday." Bugs replied. "That's your final word?" Foghorn asked. "This Wabbit is not above the law!" * * * Meanwhile.... "You don't say!" Babs replied, listening to the rather excited voice on the other end of the cafeteria phone. "You don't say!" She listened a little longer. "You don't say!" She then hung up the phone. "Like...who was it?" Shirley asked. "She didn't say." The glare that Shriley gave her could have bored hole through three miles of ferro-concrete. "I can't help it if there was no split screen. Anyway, she gave me the gist of what happened. She couldn't talk too long... her voice was sounding horse." Babs then proceeded to explain everything she was told about the "attack", the two coveralls, the pies, the seltzer, etc; disapointed that there was no ripple-desolve flashback. "Don't worry." Babs explained. "I am sure Buster and Plucky have the situation well in hand." * * * Cut to... "You can't do this to me! I'm innocent I tell you!" Plucky yelled as he and Buster were carried to the "courtroom", (actually a hastily redressed room in the basement of Perfecto's Administration building). "Hear ye! Hear Ye!" Announced Roddy, now in the costume of an Olde English Bobby. "The trial of the state versus Buster Bunny and Plucky Duck will now commence! All rise for his honor: Judge Roddy Rat!" He then immediately did a spin-change into a Olde English Judge and took his seat behind the bench, producing a rather oversize gavel from his robe, he banged the court to order. "I hate it when vilians do spin-changes." Plucky said, as an aside to Buster. "Shut up." Buster replied, melodicly. "Order! Order in the court!" Everybody then turned to stare at Buster Bunny. "What are you looking at me for! We've done this gag!" He replied, a little offended. "Council for the defense...,are you ready?" "Ready...your honor." Ruby replied, dressed nicely in a HRC type business suit, somewhat embarrassed. She tries to straighten out the curly white wig she was wearing, got frustrated, and tossed it aside. Prosecution, are you ready?" "Ready your honor!" It was Roddy again, dressed as a British barrister, and sitting across from her with a smug look on his face. *And I would like to thank the Academy!* Roddy thought. "Hey, you can't be both Prosecutor and Judge!" Buster exclaimed, standing up from behind the Defense desk he was sitting. "Why not, look at the Jury!" He motioned towards the Jury, and sure enough, ALL of them were Roddy Rat. In fact, the only people who WEREN'T" Roddy Rat were those in the public gallery; most of those in the public gallery. "The studio must be undergoing budget cuts." Plucky commented. "Are you executioner as well?" Buster said. Roddy, (as a lawyer), raised his finger and began to speak... "Forget I said that." * * * Meanwhile..... Babs paced back and forth, her hand on her chin, thinking. This went on for a good hour or so, and a good portion of the Cafeteria floor was being worn out in the meantime. The place was largely empty; it was well after lunch and the gang decided to ignore the usual school regimen for the duration of the "emergency". "The only chance to save them." Babs said, "We have to prove their innocence." "Qui?" Fifi indicated? "How do we like...do that?" Shirley asked. "We'll have to search the entire campus, tear this campus apart if we have to." "What are we looking for?" Hamton asked, "Transmissions?" Everyone sort of groaned at this one... "Coveralls." "Excuse me?" Shirley ask. "The two goons were wearing coveralls when they vandalized the Perfecto campus, they had to come from here." She said. "Which means they had to put them back." "And if they put them back," Shirley continued, "we'll find out where they came from...or some junk." "What if they laundered them, or destroyed them before they got back?" Hamton asked. "They wouldn't have time to launder them," Babs explained. "And if they ditched them, there would be two sets of coveralls not accounted for, or two pairs of perfectly clean coveralls. So, either way, we are looking for...coveralls." "That's...like...you know, pretty flimsy logic!" Shirley said. "What do I look like, a Vulcan?" * * * Back at the trial.... "I offer as my first piece of evidence...." Roddy said, (as a lawyer), "this!" He held up a single brown leather glove. "Objection!" Ruby yelled, "That's not from the case!" "Oh all right..." Roddy admitted, tossing the glove aside. "I offer as my next piece of evidence...this!" It was a seltzer bottle. Lawyer Roddy Rat approached the witness stand where Buster was seated and showed him the bottle. "Will you please read the label on the bottle." "Well...." Buster said, as he adjusted the bottle for better lighting. "Don't wait for the translation! Read the label on the bottle!" "Objection!" Ruby cried. "Oh!...." Roddy said, waving her off. "Hey!" She said, standing up from the traditional Defense desk and putting her hands on her hips. "You want to sleep on the couch for the next five months?" "Sorry honey!" He said, meekly. This prompted Judge Rat to snicker with his hand over his mouth. "Ahem!" He said, clearing his throat. When a resemblance of order returned, he turned his attention back to to the witness stand. "Now, read the label on the bottle." "It says: Acme Seltzer Co., subsidiary of Acme Soda, bottled in-" "Enough." Roddy said, snatching the bottle away. "Acme Seltzer Co....as in Acme Loo?" "Objection! That bottle could have came from anywhere!" "Judge, if it may please the court; I would like to also offer in evidence, the sticker on the bottom. You may read it if you like." "Why most certainly, kind sir." Roddy, (as judge), replied. "It says: 'Property of Acme Looniversity'". "That same sticker is all ALL of the stuff left behind by the vandals!" "So it is!" Judge Rat admitted, "Brilliant Observation!" "I hope he busts a gut doing all those spin-changes." Plucky said, as an aside to Ruby. * * * Back at Acme Loo, the gang were busily going through lockers, boxes, trash cans and such looking for two pairs of coveralls. At the same time: the school staff were preparing for the dedication ceremony three days hence; and while workman prepared the auditorium for the big occasion, a man dressed in a maintainence uniform carrys a large tool box down a corridor. He goes up some stars, and into a storage room directly above the auditorium. Checking some school plans and measuring some distances, he saws a large circle directly above the speakers podium, large enough to accommodate a large anvil placed ominously near by. The plan was simple: glue will keep the cover on the hole in place, but it won't be strong enough to support the weight of the anvil...placed on top at the right moment. * * * At the trial... It was Plucky's turn in the hot-seat. "For the records, please state your name?" Roddy Rat, (the lawyer) asked. "My name is Plucky Duck." "And how long have you been going to Acme Looniversity?" "Objection!" yelled Ruby. Roddy turned to look at her. "Continuity problem." She replied. "Sustained..." Judge Roddy admitted. "Be that as it may." Lawyer Roddy continued: "what is your capacity?" "Well, let's see...I can drink..." Plucky stumbled. "Answer the question!" Roddy, (both of them), yelled. "Objection!" Roddy turned to towards Ruby. "Whose side are you on, anyway!" He then addressed Plucky again: "Answer the question." "For the past several years, I served as Comic Relief and Buster's sidekick." This statement got several oohs and ahhs form the audience. "And what is your impression of Buster Bunny?" Plucky then spinned-turned into a cheap blue rabbit costume, complete with little red shirt, he starts muching a carrot. Roddy leans over the witness stand, grabs him by the shirt-collar, and slaps him one. Plucky changes back. "Sidekick...hmmm." Roddy said, deciding to rephrase the question: "and during your tenure as 'sidekick', what is your assestment of Buster Bunny? It he a born leader? Popular? Charismatic? A true hero? Everybody respects him, everybody loves him?" All of this was really pumping up Buster's ego, until he realized where this was going. "Yeah...I guess so." Plucky admitted. *Forget the rabbit! Let's talk about me!* "Objection! You're leading the witness." Roddy had enough, he walked over to Ruby. "Isn't there anything you can say that doesn't begin with the word 'objection'"? Ruby immediately pulled out her copy of the script, and began rapidly flipping the pages. "Ahh....not for a few more scenes." "Anyway..." Roddy said, turning back to the little green duck. "In your opinion...Mr. Plucky. If Buster were to...suggest that something be done, it would get done?" "I suppose..." "Your honor, gentlemen of the Jury..." Roddy giving the jury a victorious 'thumbs up'. "Buster Bunny arranged to have dinner with us. I submit: that this was to distract us, and to lull us into a false sense of security; while at the same time, a vicious attack was being made against our campus. An attack which he also ordered and planned." This statement got a standing ovation form the gallery, to which both Lawyer and Judge Rat graciously bowed. "I am also convinced, that the so-called 'accidental' fire which destroyed our campus and started this mess was no accident at all, but is part of the same conspiracy!" When Ruby heard this...she could hardly control herself. Her lower lip started to tremble and tears started to roll down her cheeks. "Defense, do you wish to cross-examine." He said, triumphantly. She stood up...sobbed...and quickly walked out the room, leaving Lawyer Roddy with his mouth hanging open. * * * Back at Acme Looniversity, the search was proceeding apace for the coveralls. The first place that was searched was the janitorial supply room in the basement, but two coveralls were missing. The gang was about the leave when a banging was heard from one of closets. Babs found two coveralls...and the people wearing them. Monty and Elmyra, were both bound and gagged and tied back to back. Monty tried to talk but his voice was obviously muffled. Babs kindly pulled the gag out of his mouth. "You can't do this to me!" He screamed, "I'm rich! I'll sue!" "Oh Monty-wonty! This is so romantic, being tied up together like that!" Elmyra said after her gag was removed. "Although I'm usually not that kind-." "Shut up!" Monty yelled. "Monty..." Babs said, cradling Monty's face with her hands. "Who put you up to that stunt with the Perfecto campus? You are usually not that stupid." "I am too!" Monty replied, "I mean, I'll never tell! Nobody put me up to anything!" "But Monty-wonty, it was that nice mousey whose wife was in the hospital!" "Roddy?" Babs reacted. "I knew I smelled a rat!" (Drum rift...cymbol crash!) Babs cupped one hand over her face in embarrassment. "Why would Roddy wreck his own campus?" Shirley asked. "Why not?" Hamton asked, "He probably dosn't like this situation any more than we do." "Like...of all the things we have to have in common with Perfecto." Shriley commented. * * * *About time they got back to us* Buster thought, as he and Plucky stood before the "Judge" to await their sentencing. The Jury was quick and concisive, and brought in a "guilty" verdict in a little under ten minutes...after discussing the merits of various Acme females. "Gee, they took a WHOLE ten minutes." Plucky said. "Somebody must be slipping." "AHEM!" The Judge said, trying to talk over a whole pile of "evidence", (pie pans and seltzer bottles), each bearing a "Property of Acme Looniversity" sticker. Frustrated, he uses one of his arms to sweep everything onto the floor. "You have been found guilty of being in violation of Acme Acres municipal code 3727717.3, Paragraph 3, Section 2, Subsection 45: Conspiracy to vandalize public property, throwing cream pies without a license, using unregistered seltzer bottles, and the illegal detonation of toon-dynamite within the city limits. You are hearby sentenced to three hundred hours of community service at the discretion of the offended party. Sentence is to begin immeadiately! Court adjourned." As Buster and Plucky were being led off by a couple of Perfecto goons, they overheard Roddy remarking to himself: "At least this gets them out of the way until AFTER the dedication." This caused both the duck and the rabbit to look at each other in suprise. As the rabbit and duck were being led out the door, Buster was heard saying: "I wonder what other humiliations they're going to heap upon us." * * * A few hours latter... "I HAD to ask!" We find our two heros, Buster and Plucky out on some desert highway, with trash bags in their hands, striped prison uniforms on their backs, and large metal balls chained to their feet. Behind them, an unending desert landscape with mountains and mesas in the background: you can film a Road Runner cartoon here; (they FILMED Road Runner cartoons here). Apparently, their "community service" was to babysit Perecto's adopted highway, (which seemed unusually messy, considering); "guarding" them were two females: an otter and a badger, They were dressed like Southern prison guards, (complete with sunglasses and wide brim hats), and all they were doing were sitting on a blanket under an umbrella. The badger was reading a magazine, the otter was filing her nails. "Nobody knows the troubles I've seen!" Plucky began singing, this was followed by a slap from Buster. They continued working a little longer. "Oh great, we'll spend the rest of our miserable lives here!" Plucky wispered. "Plucky, have you ever thought about the future?" Buster answered, in kind. "That's the point I was trying to-" "No, not this future! The bigger future! The ceremony, the annexing, everything! I swear, it never even really occurred to me to be friends with the Perfecto; and they sure don't want to be friends with us." "Someone went to a lot of trouble to blame us for the incident." "Yeah, and you heard Roddy mention the ceremony. We've got to get out of here!" Plucky noticed the two girls, who were still oblivious to everything. "Helllllo!" Plucky yelled, with his hands over his beak. "I hope we're not BORING you, are we?!" Buster and Plucky continued to work a little while longer...until they noticed the two girls motioning them over. A little while later, a pickup truck pulled up to the side of the road, and as soon as it stopped, Ruby and a female duck hopped out of the cargo bed. They were both dressed in gypsie costumes, Roddy carring a tamborine, the duck carring a mandolin. Ruby raised her hands as if to play... "What the..." Buster, Plucky, and the two "guards" were lying on the blanket under the umbrella. Buster and the badger were playing "cats cradle", and the otter was peeling Plucky grapes. Buster and Plucky noticed the other girls coming over to and got up to meet them, (the iron balls weren't THAT heavy); Plucky especially, was walking over to the other duck and attempting to introduce himself. "Ruby! What are you doing here?" Buster asked. "This was supposed to be a rescue." She replied, a little under her breath. "Gee..." Buster began, embarrassed. "I guess they kind of got bored with guarding us." "I don't believe it!" Ruby replied, walking around gesturing with her hands and doing a slow burn. " go through all this trouble to get these disguises, and you're not even in the least amount of distress!" "Well, I WAS getting kind of tired of eating grapes." Plucky offered. This resulted in Buster hitting him over the head with a mallot. "Why...gypsies?" Buster asked. "Agh! It was the only costumes Wardrobe had left!" Ruby explained. "They used up all the rest of them in that dumb trial scene!" "That's the trouble with epics nowadays." Buster said. "And that probably explains the general lack of epics in Hollywood." Plucky replied. (Drum rift...cymbol crash!) "Ya wanna hit him?" Buster asked. The gang noticed the two "guards", still on the blanket, hastily looking over the script. "That's not going to help!" Buster yelled. "I think we're improvising right now!" He then turned around and noticed the female duck as if for the first time. "Who's your friend?" Buster asked Ruby. "Oh! I'm Mona. I'm here because of foreshadowing!" "Figures..." Buster remarked. "We have to go back to Acme." Buster said. "Something's going down at the dedication." Plucky couldn't help but wince from that line. "I know." Ruby added, "The program will be starting soon, we don't have much time." "Wait a minute!" Plucky said, before getting into the truck. "Why should we trust her, after what she pulled at the trial!" "Like she had much of a choice!" Buster said. "I'm sorry about that. I....have my reasons." The four of them climed into the truck, and as Ruby raised the tailgate: she noticed the two girls on the blanket. "You better come along too, we might as well tie up ALL the loose ends." Ruby signaled the still unseen driver to drive off, and as the truck drove off into the distance; you could hear Buster say: "Ruby, get us out of these leg irons!" * * * Babs couldn't stand it! The dedication ceremony was about to begin, there was nothing she could do. Monty and Elmyra were turned over to security, and all she could was wait. She sat cross-legged in the auditorium with Shirley on one side and Fifi on the other. Hamton was sitting behind them. The Auditorium itself was impressively decorated: The walls were lined with several flags, paper ribbons ran across the ceiling, lights were everywhere. Dignitaries from all over the state were in the audience: even the Governor himself was in the audience, flanked by "guards". All of this only served to remind her of the enormity of the situation. This is probably the most important event in the school's history. "He has like, a lot of nerve, you know?" Shirley said, indicating Roddy, who was sitting over on the other side of the room with the other Perfectos. It was like a national border ran down the middle of the aisle. "The school dosen't want to..." Hamton began. "I know." Babs said, "They don't want to do anything until everything is official." Babs was honked, it was all she could to to keep from strangling that little freak. The ceremony was begining. The school's Principal, Bugs Bunny, walked out on stage and stood at the podium. (The man upstairs checked his watch, he began to budge the anvil into the circle.) "Ladies and Gentlemen." Bugs began to speak. (Budge some more...) "We are here today at a crossroads in our history. A time of opportunity, a time of providence." (Budging....budging...) "A time to turn accident into opportunity, to turn tradgety into triumph." "Stop!" It was Buster, to the suprise of just about everybody. He was standing at the entrance, still wearing his prison uniform, (not wishing to screw up a perfectly good dramatic entrance), he even had a little spotlight on him... He ran down the aisle between the seats, and gave a mightly leap onto the stage, and in the process knocking Bugs over. Seconds before a very big and heavy anvil came crashing down. A man looked down the hole, saw what happened, and ran off. "Buster!" Babs cried, as her and the others rushed onto the stage. "You're allright!" "What's going on here!" Roddy insisted. "Roddy told Monty to trash the school." Buster said. "He then arranged this...." "Why?" Bugs asked, a little confused. "Probably to keep both schools at each other's throats." Babs added; "in spite of the annexing." "You can't prove a thing." Roddy said, from his seat in the audience. "We have a full confession." Foghorn Leghorn said, walking into the auditorium with Monty and Elmyra in tow. "Then, who was that guy?" Shirley asked. "Let's find out!" Mona said, as Ruby and her, were walking into the auditorium with the anvil-man between them. They saw him leaving the storeroom as they were entering the building and cornered him before he got away. Buster noticed something was not right and approached the anvil-man. He pulled off a disguise... Yosemite Sam! No, that can't be right, Buster pulled off another disguise. Elmer Fudd! No, again. Ronald Reagan! William Shatner! *This is getting ridiculous!* He thought, as he pulls off the last disguise. Roddy Rat! "It you want something done right..." Roddy started. "But, why?" Babs asked. "You burned down my school!" Roddy yelled, motioning the other one aside; unable to control his temper. "I burned down the school..." It was Ruby...she was crying. "I was working late on a science project." She admitted. "I must have fallen asleep. I don't know. I might have knocked the burner over." Roddy rushed over to her, and started hugging her and comforting her. "It's okay, babe." He said, softly, "It wasn't your fault; it had to been an accident. Oh Gawd, I'm sorry I put you through all this." Apology accepted, the others thought. Later... The ceremony went off rather well, considering, and most of the Acmes were standing in front of the school with Rudy, Roddy, Margot...their new friends. What a wonderful thought. Buster and Babs were leaving the building, walking down the front steps together. "It must have been a horrible ordeal!" Babs said. "The trial, the work, the mistreatment by those guareds, you'll have to tell me all about it!" "Yeah...right." Buster replied. By the time they got down the stairs, a limo pulled up, and Roddy went to open the door. "Well..." Buster said, extending his hand. "It's been real.." Roddy grasps the offered hand with both of his own. "I'm really..." "That's okay, I would have done the same thing." Buster replied; "or not." The New-Acme students were piled into the car, Roddy rolled down the window. "Nice big campus you have here." Roddy said. "Not as big as some of it's newer students." Buster replied. This made Roddy chuckle. He then sat back, and motioned to the driver. "First star to the right, straight on till morning!" And with that the limo drove off. The End