Buster Loves... Elmyra? By A Mystery Writer Elmyra sat by a tree, panting. She was tired from trying to catch that blue hippity-hop, Buster. He'd outrun her yet again. Even though most people would've figured out by now that you can't catch rabbits by chasing them, Elmyra never gave up trying. "Oh," she sobbed while panting, "I (sob) really, really (pant, sob) wanted that snuggly (pant) cuddly (sob) bunny wunny (sob) for my very own! (Sob, sob, pant) I would give anything (pant, pant) to have him, ANYTHING!" She felt a tap on her shoulder. Elmyra turned around to see a greed stricken Calamity Coyote smiling at her. He held up a sign. "Anything?" it said. "ANYTHING!" yelled Elmyra. The force of her shout blew Calamity back into a tree. He peeled himself off of it and walked back over to Elmyra. He held up another sign. "What you need is a way to make him come to you," it said. Seeing Elmyra's blank look, he slapped his head and held up another sign. "Look, haven't you noticed that chasing him isn't working?" Even an idiot like Elmyra had to admit that Calamity was right, chasing Buster wasn't working. Calamity held up another sign. "So, if he won't let you catch him, you have to make him want to come to you." Elmyra looked at Calamity, "Ooh, I think puppy-wuppy face has finally gone coo-coo in the head. Even *I* know Mr. Fuzzy- wuzzy won't come to me willingly." Calamity smiled and turned his sign around. "Oh yes he will. He just needs a little *persuasion.*" "No way am I gonna catch that pink bunny again. She's too hard to hold on to. The last time I caught her, she ended up locking ME in that stupid cage of yours. Do you have any idea how many firemen got caught in there with me before they finally shut it off?" Elmyra demanded. Calamity held up his hand to silence her. With his other hand he put up a sign. "No, I don't mean catch Babs. You won't even *need* a cage! Buster won't even *want* to leave you." Elmyra laughed, "Yeah right! The only way that hippity- hop would not want to leave me is if he were hypnotized!" Calamity slapped a graduation hat on Elmyra's head and put a diploma in her hand. Grinning, he held up a sign saying, "Bingo!" He grabbed a dazed Elmyra and dragged her to the Looniversity. He kept running until they came to a door. He dropped Elmyra so he could search for the key to the door. Elmyra was still trying to get her bearings when Calamity unlocked the door. He grabbed her and stood her up inside the room. She shook her head and got a good look at where she was. "The ACME recording studio?" she asked. Calamity nodded. He rushed over to a file cabinet and dug through a few drawers. He soon came back with a CD. Noticing that Elmyra had no idea what he was doing, Calamity held up one of his endless supplies of signs. "Ever hear of 'power of suggestion'?" it said. Elmyra, not surprisingly, shook her head. Instead of holding up another sign, Calamity grabbed an easel with a bunch of poster boards on it. He reached into a body pocket and pulled out a pointing rod. He pointed to the first poster board. "The power of suggestion is very strong. It reaches past the conscious mind into the subconscious mind." Calamity flipped the board to the next one. "Power of suggestion plants an image in a person's subconscious mind for a short period of time. It has been used in the past to sell products, get rid of bad habits, relax a person; and even to see something that isn't really there." Calamity flipped to the next board. "Power of suggestion works by recording a message, mixing it with music and having the listener listen to it repeatedly." Elmyra looked at Calamity angrily, "So what? What good does this stuff do for me?" Calamity sighed heavily. He flipped the board again. "If you can trick Buster into listening to this CD, you can make him think that you're Babs. He'll love you forever. His subconscious mind will think it's seeing Babs when he looks at you and you when he looks at Babs." Elmyra finally caught on. Calamity led her to the recording booth to make the hidden message. It took them about four hours to do, mostly because Elmyra, being so moronic, kept playing with the equipment until it blew. After tying Elmyra to her seat, Calamity managed to get her to record the message he'd written. He played it back, mixing it with the CD's track. He then gave Elmyra the CD and a note to put in Buster's mailbox. Just as she was about to leave with the CD, Calamity stopped her. He held up a sign. "Remember, the message will only last for twenty four hours. So you have to make him listen to the CD every night for a week. After that, the message will be permanently imprinted in his subconscious and he's yours forever." "I'll remember," said Elmyra walking out the door. She suddenly leaned back in, "Oh, and Calamity, if this doesn't work, YOU'RE gonna be my bunny-wunny again." Calamity gulped. He was still having nightmares from the *last* time he'd volunteered to help Elmyra catch Buster. He never wanted to look at another carrot for as long as he lived. Elmyra did as Calamity had told her. She left the CD and the note in Buster's mailbox. About two hours later, Buster Bunny walked home slowly. He and Babs had been fighting again. He hated fighting with her. Not just because they both usually said things they didn't mean, but because she could never argue as herself. At some point in the argument, she always had to pull one of her spin-changes. He just once wished that they could at least get through an argument as themselves. They'd been fighting about commitments again. A new rabbit had shown up at school. She was an exchange student and was only at the Loo for a semester. It wasn't his fault that he got stuck with showing her around. "Oh, yeah, right!" she scowled. "You were flirting with her and you know it!" "I was not! When you're the most popular guy in school, like me, you have certain duties to the school," he protested. "And YOU expect me to believe THAT? If I had a penny for every time you've used that line, I'd be richer then Montana Max!" Babs yelled. "Oh, and you've ALWAYS been faithful to me? Do the names Hector Hare or Richie Rabbit ring a bell? Or did you forget about them?" Buster yelled at her. "Oh yeah? Remember Ramona Rabbit? Or did she slip your pea sized mind?" Babs yelled. "Well, at least Ramona was thin," he muttered. Babs turned very red at that. Buster thought he was in for the pounding of a lifetime for that remark. But Babs had surprised him. She just looked at him and said, "Well, at least I don't kiss my girlfriend's sister." She spin-changed quickly and reappeared dressed as her sister, Emily. She made little kissy faces at him, then stalked off. That had gotten Buster really mad. Babs had him over a barrel with that one. But it hadn't been his fault! The movie theater had been dark, and Emily had tricked him. Now Buster was feeling really bad about the whole thing. He hoped that this wasn't the argument that was going to drive Babs away from him. He loved her too much to let her go. She was a bit crazy and out of control. He still thought she was the most beautiful and sweetest girl he'd ever met. Without her in his life... No, Buster couldn't even imagine a life without Babs Bunny. Just as he was about to slump down into his hole, he noticed something sticking out of his mailbox. It was a CD with a note on it. He read the note. "Dear Buster, because I love you with all my heart, I bought you this CD. Listen to it every night and think of me. Love, Babsie." That was odd. Babs never signed anything 'Babsie.' He just shrugged it off and looked at the CD. Buster couldn't help but smile at it. It was the Greatest Love songs of Any Time. He told himself that it meant that Babs had already forgiven him. Buster quickly hopped down his hole and put the CD on. As he listened to the songs, he let his mind focus on Babs. He imagined her right there with him. He could touch her silky smooth ears; see her deep blue eyes and her bright smile. He could hear her sweet, soothing voice and smell her minty fresh breath. And her fur, oh her wonderfully soft pink fur looked so inviting that he almost couldn't stand it. Suddenly he couldn't wait for school tomorrow so he could see her again. The next morning, a very steamed Babs Bunny was on her way to Buster's hole when Shirley the Loon caught up with her. "Babs! Like, wait up!" called Shirley. As she caught up with the pink bunny, she could sense something was wrong. "Ew, like, Babs my aura is totally getting some mondo bad vibes from you, or some junk. Like, what's wrong?" "Is it that obvious?" asked Babs sarcastically. "Like, did you and blue boy have another fight, or some junk?" asked Shirley. Babs nodded. "Yeah, and the little weasel never even tried to call me to apologize last night." Shirley was surprised. "He didn't? Like, that's totally odd, he always calls you to apologize." "Not this time," replied Babs. She suddenly jerked to a halt. "What if he wanted to have that fight? What if that's how he wanted to break up with me instead of having to tell me that he wanted to break up?" "Like, get real, Babs. Buster would never break up with you. He *totally* loves you. You should, like, know that," said Shirley. Babs calmed down a bit. "Really? Are you sure? I mean, I know I'm not as pretty as some girls are. I do get out of hand sometimes. He might decide that someone more normal than me would be better for him." Shirley stopped Babs and took hold of her by the shoulders, "Now, you, like, listen to me, Babs Bunny. If Buster were ever, like, going to ditch you for some other girl, he would've, like, done it long ago. He totally loves you and don't EVER doubt that for an instant. You two were made for eachother, or some junk." Babs smiled. "Thanks, Shirl," she said, hugging Shirley. "I'll go apologize to him right now." With that, Babs took off for Buster's hole. Buster was just getting out of the shower when he heard Babs call. Usually when she called him, he was still in bed. But that CD she'd sent really got to him. He'd been up since 6:00, a first for him in his entire life! "Be up in a minute!" he called out. Outside, Babs couldn't believe her ears. Buster actually sounded awake this morning! Usually his call was groggy and hard to hear. She just shrugged and waited patiently. Buster quickly grabbed his books and climbed up the ladder. When he popped his head out of his hole, he looked into the smiling face of---- Elmyra! "What, what are *you* doing here?" he asked astonished. "I'm here to walk to school with you, what else?" Elmyra replied. She sounded exactly like Babs. Buster didn't even know Elmyra could do imitations. But he wasn't too happy that she could imitate Babs so well. "Oh no you're not," Buster answered dryly. Elmyra looked taken back. "But, we always walk to school together," she said. "Not in *this* lifetime we don't," said Buster jumping out of his hole. Before Elmyra could say anything else, he took off for Acme Loo at top speed. Babs stared after him, openmouthed. She couldn't believe what Buster had said to her. He didn't even give her a chance to apologize for yesterday. What she'd said about Emily must've really gotten him mad. With drooping ears, she quietly walked to school alone. Buster raced up the Loo's stairs and through the doors, nearly knocking Plucky Duck through the wall. Plucky pried himself out of the wall and muttered something about rabbits that doesn't need to be repeated here. Buster didn't stop until he got to his locker. Panting, he opened his locker and shoved his books into it. When he closed the door, the smiling face of Babs greeted him. "Hello, bunny," she said, sounding a bit too much like Elmyra. "Hiya, Babsie, could you skip the Elmyra voice today? I just had a far too close call with her already," said Buster. "Well, um, I, um, (cough cough) I have a sore throat so there's nothing I can do about it," she replied. "Come here, snuggle bunny!" She grabbed Buster in a very tight hug. "Babsie! (Choke, cough) loosen up, will ya!" Buster cried, struggling to breathe under Babs's strangely strong grip. She loosened enough for him to breathe and he returned the hug. Elmyra was very surprised! She couldn't believe that Buster was actually hugging her back! Apparently, other students couldn't believe it either. Furrball chose that moment to walk around the corner with a can of soda and happened to see Buster hugging Elmyra! His jaw dropped to the ground and he immediately went into an Avery-aa-OO-ga. When he regained control of himself, he looked at his soda and chucked it in the nearest trashcan. "Come on, Barbara Anne, we're gonna be late for class," Buster teased Babs. "Um, oh! Um, don't call me that?" she answered. As the two bunnies walked into class, everyone stared at them in disbelief. Even Professor Foghorn Leghorn did a double take when he saw Buster. "Boy, ah say, boy are you feelin' ok?" he asked. "Never better," Buster grinned. He led Babs to her seat and sat down next to her. Meanwhile, the real Babs had arrived to school late and walked solemnly to her second class (since she arrived too late for her first one) which happened to be Advanced Wild Takes. As Babs entered, she was greeted by an unhappy Daffy Duck. "Oh, you dethided to join uth eh?" Daffy scowled at her. "Yeah, feel honored," she snapped, half-heartedly taking her seat. She was in no mood to deal with anyone right now. Everyone else but Daffy, howled with laughter. The duck was not amused, but he managed to get back to the lessons anyway. Babs didn't see Buster until lunchtime. But there were some strange rumors flying around about him and Elmyra. Of course, she didn't believe them, but couldn't help wondering how they got started. When she did see him, she wished she'd asked someone about the rumors. He really was with Elmyra! They were looking pretty cozy about it too. Babs marched over to Buster's table and grabbed him by his sweater. "Are you out of your mind?" she asked. "No, but you're out of *yours*!" he yelped. Babs looked surprised. Buster was acting as if he were... terrified! "Hey!" said Elmyra jumping up, "You leave my fuzzy- wuzzy alone!" She slapped Babs's paw, forcing her to drop Buster. Buster embraced Elmyra protectively. "What is *with* you?" he snapped, "You have been at me all day! Why don't you go find someone in your IQ range and leave us alone!" With that, he led Elmyra out the door. Babs, not to mention the entire cafeteria, was completely stunned! Buster had ditched Babs for... Elmyra??? Buster led Babs outside to a bench under a shady tree. He looked into her eyes lovingly. Her deep blue eyes were, somehow, missing something that he couldn't quite figure out. "Babs?" he said tentatively. "Yes?" she answered in that same Elmyra like voice. "I'm sorry about yesterday. I didn't mean what I said about Ramona. I think you're great just the way you are," he said, blushing a bit. "Yesterday? What are you talking about, bunnykins?" she asked. "Don't you remember that argument we had?" Buster asked. "Isn't that why you bought me the CD? To apologize?" "Oh! Right! Yeah, that's why I bought you the CD," she echoed. "Do you really like it?" Buster nodded. Babs smiled, "And you'll listen to it a lot won't you?" Buster nodded again. "Every night?" she asked. Seeing Buster's confused look, she added, "Promise me, Buster. Promise me you'll listen to it every night for a week." "But, Babs..." "PROMISE ME!" "Ok, ok, I promise," Buster held a gloved paw and crossed his heart with the other. This seemed to make Babs happy. Babs was too upset to even think about going to her other classes. She hid in the supply closet. The place was such a mess that, even if anyone looked in there, they'd never find her. Babs wasn't sure if she would be able to find her own way out, but she didn't care. Babs stayed in the supply closet even after the last bell rang and the entire school was silent. She was completely lost in her sorrow when she heard someone call her. "Babs?" Since she wasn't in a talking mood, Babs scrunched herself into a small ball and hid in a corner behind a shelf. It didn't work. She soon found herself looking at a pair of eyes with purple eye shadow on the lids. It was Fifi. "Fifi, how did you find me?" Babs asked wiping a tear from her eye. Fifi handed her a tissue, "Vous are not zee only one to 'ave zee 'eartbreak. Zis eez where Ah 'ide aftair mon boyfriends leave moi too." Babs managed a chuckle, "It's not that he left me for another girl. I've faced that before. It's the girl he left me for, that I'm upset about." "Oui, Ah cannot figure eet out," said Fifi scratching her head. "Vous zink he would've found a more attractive and intelligent girl to get even with vous with." "Get even with me? You mean, Buster's just trying to get even with me for what I said to him?" said Babs. Fifi nodded," Vous don't really zink Bustair would date Elmyra? To 'er, zee goodnight kiss would be Bustair's death. He's not zat dumb. He's just using 'er for zee, 'ow vous say, moneyback." Babs grinned. "You mean 'payback.' And, you're probably right. I bet that's exactly what he's doing. Well, I'll fix his little red wagon, and rearrange hers in the process." Babs got up and spin-changed into an army general. "I have not yet begun to fight!" she growled and marched out the door. Fifi looked after her and chuckled, "Zese bunnies are better zan zee operas de soap, non?" For Buster, the next few days were both strange and happy. He and Babs hadn't fought once, not even when he had to show that exchange student where the gym was. But everyone else was acting really strange around him. His teachers and friends kept asking if he was feeling ok. An undertaker even stopped by his burrow to ask if he could take measurements. Another strange thing was the falling objects. True, it wasn't unusual for an occasional object to fall from the sky. But these objects were falling a lot and they were aimed at Babs. Buster even got clunked a couple of times when he shoved Babs out of the object's way. Even his mentor, Bugs Bunny, was acting strangely. One day as he and Babs were passing by the principal's office, Bugs opened the door and asked Buster to step in for a moment. When Buster sat down, Bugs gave him an uneasy, concerned look. "Kid, are ya feelin' ok? I mean, is dere somet'in' botherin' yas? Cuz I'm always around if yer in trouble ya know," Bugs said. Buster was getting sick and tired of being asked that. "Look," he began. "What is everyone's problem? I am NOT sick. There's NOTHING wrong with me. AND I AM GETTING REALLY TIRED OF PEOPLE ASKING ME THAT! Can't you just be happy that I'm finally getting along with my girlfriend and leave it at that?" "Yer goilfriend?" gasped Bugs raising both eyebrows. "Yeah, MY girlfriend," answered Buster. "But what about Babs?" asked Bugs. "What are you talking about, Bugs? Are you sure YOU'RE feeling all right?" Buster replied. "Eh, well I, uh... I was just wonderin', Buster, dat's all," said Bugs trying not to let Buster hear the concern in his voice. "Can I go now?" Buster asked. Bugs could only nod. He stood at the door staring at Buster and Elmyra walking down the hall. Buster actually had his arm around her! Babs was giving up. She'd been trying all week to talk to Buster. But, every time she got near him, he'd run away from her or said something mean. Babs had tried everything she could think of. She'd dropped things on Elmyra; bombed her, played jokes on her. Babs once even tried reasoning with her. That had been disastrous. "Face it, Babsie wabsie. Buster is mine now, and I'm never letting him go!" Elmyra told her. Now Babs was sitting in the library, trying to think of something, anything but Buster. Suddenly, Plucky showed up and plunked himself down across from her. "Nice day, isn't it?" he said. "What do you want?" Babs said. "Who, me? Oh, nothing, nothing at all. Well there is *one* thing..." Plucky said, pretending to examine his textbook. Babs knew he wasn't. For one thing, it was still wrapped in the plastic Plucky had bought it in. "What do you want?" she demanded. "Well, since Buster doesn't love you anymore, you have no reason to keep his secrets, right?" Plucky began. Babs was not in the mood for games. She grabbed the duck by his bill. "Look, Plucky, if you think that I'm going to tell you something about Buster that you can blackmail him with, you're bugging the wrong bunny! He may be trying to make me jealous with Elmyra but I... I... I just got a great idea!" said Babs looking slyly at Plucky. "How would you like to know a sure-fire way to get Shirley the Loon to go nuts over you?" she asked. Since his bill was clamped shut, all Plucky could do was grin. A few minutes later, Babs and Plucky found Buster and Elmyra sitting on a bench near the football field. Buster was trying to help Elmyra study but it was a little hard considering she had him in a death lock. Babs dragged Plucky to the middle of the football field where she knew Buster would see her. "Now, make this look good," she whispered to the green duck. Babs hugged Plucky close to her. Fighting the urge to be sick, Babs put on a fake grin and said abit too loudly, "Oh, Plucky! I'm so glad we can finally be together now that Buster has someone else!" "Uh, Yes!" he answered a bit too loudly, "All those years of pretending to love Shirley when it was really you I wanted all along!" "And, now, my love, we can end this, this masquerade! I always thought you would've made a better costar then Buster!" Babs hammed it up by stroking Plucky's feathered head. She risked glancing over at Buster. Good, she had his attention. Plucky was starting to get a little 'too' into his acting. "I always thought so too! But alas, the stupid network didn't realize that. But I still would've picked you for my costar because I, I love you!" he cried, and he planted a kiss on Babs's lips. Suddenly a flashbulb snapped the two back to reality. They turned to see Montana Max, dressed in a reporter's suit, holding a camera. "Heh heh heh!" he sneered," this'll make a great shot for the school newspaper!" He ran off before they could stop him. "Yeah, well, anyway... Plucky, you are such a good kisser, I don't know how I could've missed it," Babs tried to get back into her act. She managed to give Plucky a good pinch on his side though. 'That's for kissing me, you sicko,' she thought. Buster was on his way over, followed by Elmyra. Babs saw them coming and pulled out all the stops. She grabbed Plucky and dipped him back, giving him a fake kiss. She could see Buster's shocked expression and knew her plan was working. When he was about two feet from her, she dropped Plucky, pretending to be surprised that Buster was there. "Oh! Oh, hi Buster. We didn't even know you were here," she smiled sweetly. Babs noticed Plucky still lying on the ground and quickly stood him up. Babs put her arm around his shoulder. Babs expected Buster to be surprised, mad, maybe even hurt. But what she saw, she didn't expect at all. Buster just looked at Plucky, patted him on the head and said, "You two make a lovely couple. I know you'll be very happy." Then he took Elmyra's hand and walked off. Babs and Plucky just stared at them, openmouthed. "It, it didn't work," Babs squeaked. She pushed Plucky away. "I can't believe Buster would just... I mean, he didn't even ask... I guess he, he..." Babs dropped to her knees and put her head in her hands. Plucky tapped her on the shoulder. "Um, about that thing with Shirley..." He didn't get the chance to finish. Babs rushed off the field in tears. "That's okay," he called. "I can take an IOU." He felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around. "Like, I'll totally give YOU an IOU, you unfaithful, untrustworthy, son of a feather duster!" yelled Shirley. She was glowing with electric rage. Plucky gulped and ran for his life. Shirley floated after him firing volts at every opportunity. "Cheat on ME with another woman, huh?" she yelled. After school, Buster and Babs went to Weenie Burger. They were getting used to everyone staring at them, so they didn't pay any attention as they got their food and sat down. "I can't believe Plucky would be in love with Elmyra," said Buster taking a gulp of his Weenie Shake. "Babs, you look kind of spaced out." "Huh? Oh, sorry, snuggle bunny, I was thinking about something," Babs replied staring down at her carrot cake. "What's wrong? You love carrot cake," Buster said. "I, um, decided to give it up," Babs said pushing it away with a disgusted look. She'd eaten so much carrot cake in the past week that she never wanted to hear the words "carrot cake" ever again. She reached over and took Buster's paw. "Buster, you do love me, right?" she asked. Buster choked on the fry he'd just eaten. "Of course I do, Babs, you know that." "Good, then let's make tonight extra-special, sort of a one week anniversary," Babs said. "Anniversary of what?" Buster asked, confused. "Of me giving you that CD, silly," replied Babs, "I'll be over say around eightish, ok fuzzy-wuzzy?" "Well, uh, ok. And about these nicknames you've been using lately, I..." "Not now, I have to take care of something. But I'll see you later tonight, honey bunny," Babs got up and left before Buster could say anything more. Babs was lonely, hurt and confused. She couldn't understand how Buster could snub her like that all week. They had ignored each other before but not for a week, not even for twenty- four hours! She hid herself by the Lovers' Creek Bridge. It was so named because every couple that had ever existed in Acme Acres had carved their names in the stone on and under the bridge. She could remember the night that she and Buster had gone there. Both bunnies had been broke so they had decided to have a moonlight picnic by the bridge. It was the first time she and Buster had actually been romantic with each other. Babs found the place where Buster had carved their names into the bridge. It was on one of the beams that held the bridge up. Since it was far back on the bank of the creek, Babs was hidden from anyone's view as she sat in the dirt looking at the carving. She was lost in her thoughts when she heard a voice talking. It sounded like Elmyra! Babs peeked out from her hiding spot to see two hooded figures standing on the opposite bank of the creek. Since it was already dark, the figures wouldn't have seen Babs unless they actually looked for her. One held a small lantern that only cast enough light to show who the two figures were; Elmyra and Calamity Coyote! Babs perked up her long ears so she could hear the conversation. "Well, puppy-wuppy, your plan is working perfectly," said Elmyra, "Buster loves me. He really thinks that I'm Babs and she's me! That hidden message we put in the CD is working great!" 'Hidden message? What are they talking about?' thought Babs. Calamity held up a sign but it was too dark for Babs to be able to read it. Luckily, Elmyra interpreted it for Babs. "Yeah, I know. I know. I have to make him listen to it for one more night. I'm not THAT stupid y'know. You're sure that it will be permanent after tonight? I don't want it wearing off all of a sudden," Elmyra said glaring at the Coyote genius. He nodded and held up another sign. "You don't get any money-woney until I have the bunny forever, honey. That was the deal," Elmyra said patting Calamity on the head, way too hard. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I... I mean Babs... has a date with snuggle bunny," said Elmyra. She giggled as she left the bank. She headed down the path toward Buster's burrow. Calamity rubbed his sore head. He sighed as he looked at the bridge. Suddenly, he felt someone breathing down the back of his neck. Thinking it might be Elmyra; he turned around with an annoyed look on his face. That look turned to surprise and fright as he saw who it really was. He backed up a step, intending to bolt as fast as his legs could carry him. But two pink paws shot out and grabbed him by his chest fur. He was lifted off the ground and stared into the face of one very mad pink bunny. "You have exactly one minute," she said in a murderous voice, "To tell me exactly what you and Ms. Brainless have done to MY boyfriend. And if you don't, I'll make sure you never walk again!" Calamity gulped and took out a notepad and scribbled the story as fast as his fingers could write. Buster was trying to clean up his burrow. Pop cans, pizza boxes, trash, clothes and some things he couldn't identify were lying all over the place. He didn't want Babs to see the mess. "Yilch!" he muttered picking up a soggy sandwich, "I thought I ate this yesterday. Man, I really need to get a maid or something around here. That, or stop inviting Plucky over to watch Baywatch with me." A crying sound soon caught Buster's attention. It sounded like it was coming from outside his burrow. He popped his head out of his hole to see who it was that was crying. He looked around but no one was there. He strained his ears to listen. The sound was coming from behind a bush on the other side of the path that led to his burrow. "Hello?" he called, climbing out of his burrow. "Are, are you okay? Hey, why don't you come out, so I can see you." The crying just kept going in the bush. Buster walked over to it slowly. He didn't want to frighten whoever it was that was crying. "Hello?" he tried again. "It's okay, you can come out. I won't hurt you." Buster felt a small breeze brush by his back and turned around. No one was there. He turned his attention back to the bush. Babs was what had brushed by Buster. She dove into his burrow as fast as she could. Calamity had told her all about the CD and the hidden message in it. Now she had to stop Buster from listening to it tonight. She zoomed down the ladder and almost fell in the pile of garbage in front of it. "Ew, why does Buster always invite Plucky over when he knows how messy that duck is," Babs muttered as she picked her way over to Buster's CD collection. She quickly scanned through his CDs until she found the one Calamity had told her about. She stuffed it in her skirt and replaced it with another copy of The Greatest Love songs of Any Time. Hearing Buster's voice, Babs quickly shoved the CDs back on the shelf and looked for a good hiding place. She just barely managed to get into the closet and close the door when he hopped down his burrow. "What a dumb joke for someone to play," griped Buster looking at the tape recorder he'd found in the bush. "I can't believe someone would make a tape of someone else crying and put it in a bush." He tossed the recorder on a table and went back to work cleaning his burrow. Buster barely managed to finish when he heard a call that sounded like Elmyra. Not wanting to take any chances, Buster called out, "Babsie, is that you?" "Oh course it's me, silly, who else would it be?" the Elmyra like voice answered. "Okay, come on down," called Buster. Babs hopped down the ladder and landed on her head. "Hee hee, I guess I lost my balance," she said, getting up. She looked around the burrow. "Oh, so this is where you live." Buster chuckled. "Of course it is. You didn't think I lived in the Ritz did you?" "Well, uh, no, of course not," she replied. "Say, why don't you put on that CD I bought you?" Babs smiled at Buster sweetly. "Um, okay," he shrugged, going over to his CD player. He grabbed the CD and put it in the player. When it was playing, he turned around to see Babs stuffing something in either side of her head. "What are you doing?" he asked going over to her. "What?" she asked loudly, "Sorry, I have an itty-bitty earache so I'm not hearing too well right now. Is the CD on?" Buster nodded. "Good." Buster held his arm out to Babs. "Wanna dance?" he asked loudly so she could hear him. She nodded and practically jumped into his arms. The real Babs watched from the closet. 'Why that little freak!' she thought, clenching her teeth. She took a few deep breaths to calm herself down. 'It's all right,' she thought. 'When that hidden message wears off, they're both going to be in for a shock. I can wait... for awhile anyway.' Calamity had told her the message would wear off in about an hour if Buster didn't listen to it again. 'He'd better be right...' Buster and Babs danced clumsily around the room. She kept stepping on his feet and he was losing his balance. "Oh, bunnykins, you dance so wonderfully!" Babs giggled loudly. "Ouch! Thanks. Yow! Babsie, I guess those, YIPE! dancing lessons I've been taking, OW! are paying off, Eek!" smiled Buster trying to ignore the pain that his feet were in. When he couldn't stand it anymore, he said, "Uh, Babsie, Owie! Could we sit this next, AAA! song out so my, Yeek! feet can, HEY! THAT WAS MY TOE YOU JUST CRUNCHED!" Buster cried backing away from Babs. "Oh! Poor Bun-bun! Don't worry, nursey Elm-er-Babsie will hug and squeeze you all better!" said Babs squeezing Buster tightly by the neck and flinging him all over the room. She finally dropped him on the floor next to the couch. He coughed and sputtered as he crawled up on the couch. Elmyra plunked herself down beside him making him, and the cushions, jump high in the air. Buster slammed his head on the ceiling and fell painfully back on the couch. "Oh, my poor little blue bunny-wunny has a boo-boo!" cried Elmyra taking Buster's head in her arms. "Don't worry, I'll kiss it all better!" That was it! That was the last straw for Babs. She threw open the door, banging it against the wall. "All right, boy stealer, get your hands off my rabbit!" she roared. Both Elmyra and Buster looked at her with surprise. "What the heck are you doing here?" snapped Buster jumping out of Elmyra's arms. 'Oh no!' thought Babs. 'The message hasn't worn off yet! Buster still thinks I'm Elmyra!' She tried hard to think of something to say. "I, um, I came to... See my favorite bunnies," she chirped. Elmyra jumped off the couch and grabbed Buster's arm. "He's MINE now!" she yelled. "And there's nothing you can do about it! As soon as the CD's over, he'll be mine permanently!" As if on cue, the CD ended. All eyes turned toward it. Elmyra grinned insanely and pulled the cotton out of her ears. Babs looked at her slyly. Buster stared at each girl back and forth. He, as usual, had no idea what was going on. "That's what you think, Bricks for Brains! I found out about your little scheme and switched the CD's. In five minutes, that hidden message of yours wears off," Babs snarled. "I don't believe you!" said Elmyra. Buster was confused. "What hidden message?" Elmyra looked at Buster. "She's lying! I'm Babs!" "Don't believe her, Buster, I'M Babs!" Babs said. "I'm Babs!" "No, I am!" "You are not!" "Am too!" "ARE NOT!" "HOLD IT!" yelled Buster getting between the girls. He looked at Babs then at Elmyra. "Look," he said. "Being a rabbit, I know I can trust my eyes. And what I see, I know is true." "But, Buster," protested Elmyra. Buster grabbed her by the shirt collar with a gloved paw. "And YOU," he said glaring at Elmyra, "don't look a thing like Babs. And I am going to get rid of you once and for all!" He picked her up, stuffed her in a care package, sealed and stamped the box, and rushed her to the nearest mailbox to be sent to Alaska. When he returned he was out of breath, but satisfied. Babs came up to him. "Yay! Now we can be together forever," she drew him close for a kiss. Buster closed his eyes and kissed Babs. It felt strange and slobbier than it should've been. He opened his eyes a little. Then they shot wide open when he saw who he was kissing. "Elmyra!" Buster yelped, trying to break free of her grasp. "Oh, poo! The hidden message really did wear off," said Elmyra tightening her hold on Buster. "But you're still going to be mine! Without Ms. Hippity-Hop here to save you, you belong to me! Heeheehee!" Buster closed his eyes and screamed while trying to escape. "AHHHHHHHHHH!" Buster screamed, opening his eyes. He found himself sitting in his bed clutching his blanket. "A dream!" he said. "It was all just a horrible dream." He wiped his brow in relief. Suddenly, a light was flicked on. Buster tensed up when he saw where he was. He was in a cage! He looked around and saw Elmyra dressed in a nightgown and curlers standing in the doorway. She rushed over to the cage and peered in, looking concerned. "Oh, did my fuzzy-wuzzy have a bad dream?" she asked smiling. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Buster screamed. He looked upwards and shouted, "WHO WROTE THIS STORY ANYWAY?!" Babs put the pen down and chuckled. "That'll teach you to call me 'chubby', Buster Bunny!" she said. Ok, I give. It was really me, Jodie Sullivan (a.k.a. Leloni Bunny), who wrote this story. If you'd like to coment on it, email me at; jsulli1@raider.grcc.cc.mi.us. Even if you didn't like it, I'd like to know. Juest, have a reason though, ok. A special thanks goes to the Curmudgeon (dp1don@oakharbor.net) for unintentionally giving me the idea for this story. He also deserves a thank you for editing. Editing thanks also go to; Mark_Bunny (scottd@softcom.net) and Michael Demcio (RRQUEST@AOL.com). Hector Hare cna be found in "Buster & Babs, No Relation?" by Kevin Mickel (HKUriah3@AOL.com) Richie Rabbit can be found in "Welcome Back!" by Colin Feder (FedColi@lycoming.edu) Ramona Rabbit can be found in "Aw, Have a Heart!" by Mike Cote (lllemming@hotmail.com) Emily Bunny can be found in "Rivals" by KeV Beeley (KeV@faboo.demon.co.uk) All names mentioned without permission but with great respect. All Tiny Toons and Looney Tunes characters are owned and copyright @ 1997 by Warner Bros., Inc. A Time Warner Company. All rights reserved.